Reframing a Diagnosis: How Language Shapes Your Healing Journey | Ep 104 - The Wellness Connection with Fiona Kane

Episode Transcript
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Fiona Kane (00:01):
Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection Podcast
with Fiona Kane.
I'm your host Today.
I've got a guest and we'regoing to be talking a little bit
about how we need to choose tolive, regardless of what
diagnosis we have or whatillness we're living with.
Ultimately, we need to chooseto live.
So that's what I'm going to betalking about today, and my

(00:24):
guest is Sarah Chemaissem .
Hi Sarah sarah.

Sarah Chemaissem (00:27):
Hi Fiona, how are you?
Thanks for having me today.

Fiona Kane (00:31):
I didn't ruin your name too much, did I?

You usually got busted growing up in school,
but you did a good job.

Fiona Kane (00:40):
I do my best.
I think, oh, I know that, andthen I go to say it and then I
don't know what, or I say itwrong half the time.
So we're doing okay, I think Isaid it.
Okay, it's not too bad.

It's good considering the beginning of the
week as well.

Fiona Kane (00:52):
Yes, yeah, exactly.
So look for those who don'tknow you, would you like to
introduce yourself?
Tell us a little bit about you.

Okay, well, okay, well, I'm just an ordinary
human being, just like everyoneelse, right?
But I work as a strategicpsychotherapist.
Amidst many other methodologieswe utilize in treatment, like
clinical hypnotherapy, but we doit in a strategic way, in a
manner of language, utilizingyour own purpose of life and

(01:20):
what you're good at, and it'sjust very freelance and a lot of
timeline therapy, counselingjust stop therapy but very
experiential um, the modalitiesthat I use throughout my work
and I work a lot alongside a lotof um one-on-one clients and
even couples and more so, uh,with a lot of cancer patients
that come through.

Fiona Kane (01:40):
yeah, okay, that sounds interesting.
So we did.
Uh, when we chatted before, wedid talk a little bit about
cancer diagnosis and about how,really how we could reframe in
our minds or change our languagein regards to our diagnosis
that could support our health.
Now, before I go any further, Iwill clarify in this

(02:04):
conversation.
We're not talking about justwish yourself to health or don't
get treatments, or any of that.
All we're doing is just talkingabout the fact that the truth
is and this is something thatI've talked about a lot on this
podcast that language doesmatter.
The language we use matters,and how we describe things to
ourselves or how we think aboutthings really can make a

(02:24):
difference to our experience.
So that's essentially whatwe're talking about here today,
but would you like to expand onthat a bit, sarah, in regards to
what we can do that can make adifference in regards to those
diagnoses?

So when we're talking about diagnosis, they
have a lot of similarities inthe approach of receiving it
from a doctor.
So we notice that when we don'thave an expectation of
something going on or runningwithin us that's a disease or
discomfort or things likediagnosis of cancers, and
depending also what stage we,the first initial thing that

(03:01):
happens to us as human beings wego go into a bit of a shock,
right, it's the initialabsorption of the information
from that doctor and, dependingon the approach of the doctor
and everything as such, theygenerally begin the conventional
medicine of treating thedisease.
Now, within our discussiontoday, we're just going to maybe

(03:21):
look at it a bit more in aholistic point of view, but
still, understandingconventional medicine is one of
the basics and is thefundamental part, because we
cannot let 10, 12 years worth ofwork be parked on one side,
because it's very essential tohave within any diagnosis.
They do help and help usthrough the processes.
But what tends to happen tosome of us?

(03:42):
Depending on the approach ofhow we've received the
information, because we're insuch a vulnerable state of mind
with somebody that is trusted sowell, we can take the
suggestions really deeply andthose suggestions become the
wiring of our thought patternsand how we perceive the world,

(04:04):
which can create thatanxiousness and grow the idea a
little bit larger within usbecause we're freaking out about
something right, especially ifit's a terminal illness, and it
can put us in that stance of Ididn't really consider death at
this point in time, let's justcall it.
If it was a dramatic disease,this is something like cancer or

(04:25):
stage four metastatic as such,and so what my perception is
around all of that.
There are many other ways todeal with this situation and to
perceive your language and whatlanguage you've received, to
filter through you know, the gpand what they've said to you,
and and what, what aligns withyour inner values in your

(04:46):
current state of mind and whereyou're at in your life, and
really to to delve a little bitdeeper with your thoughts.
Are you expanding on whatthey've said or have you taken,
you know, the chance to do a bitmore research to see what else
could you adapt and applythroughout the process?
But my main goal would bereframing meaning, language,
language, language, language.
The language you've receivedand how you've observed it,

(05:07):
perceived it, how you speakabout it inside your head and
the language that you give outto the universe or just within
yourself when you're trying toadjust to a new disease that's
come through.
Reason why it's so essential andimportant is the unconscious
mind, and for the people thathaven't heard of that, it's just

(05:28):
a subliminal.
It's a deeper part of our innerselves, that inner voice, you
know, the one that we, theintuition that sometimes we
ignore.
Even as such, it doesn't knowthe difference, fiona, between
what is real and what is notreal, and due to that we build
and stack up beliefs whichexpand what we might be
experiencing, and then it honesso deep that we end up having

(05:51):
other things that come out fromit, like anxiety and depression
and these other so-calleddiseases in mental health, let's
call it.
So.
It's very essential to reallylike watch what you say and what
you say to yourself and what doyou accept from the information
you receive from the outsideworld, because it does affect
your healing journey.

(06:12):
Um, it plays one part and parcel, but it's not the main,
definitely not.
There's environmental factors,there's food, there's genetics.
To some degree there's manythings involved, but also one
partial part is what we'll bediscussing today is yourself in
a talk and language, andthoughts, and reframing and how
to go beyond that.

Fiona Kane (06:31):
Yeah, okay.
And so if you give me examples,so say I have just received a
diagnosis, and say I'd receiveda diagnosis like a stage four
metastatic or something which ispretty much the worst diagnosis
from a cancer point of view,Obviously, initially, like you

(06:51):
said, there's shock, and I feellike and personally what I say
to my clients anyways it is okayin the beginning, when
something happens to you, tohave the feelings that you need
to have and to process thosefeelings, and if you feel like,
oh my God, why did this happento me?
You're like, whatever it is,like, that's all fine, there's

(07:13):
no issue with that.
Essentially, though, it's kindof moving onwards.
So I suppose it's then what youdo and it's then how you
reframe things, or how you, howyou look at things.
So what, what would you say toto, uh, someone who who had had
that sort of diagnosis?
What's the sort of startingpoint for them?
Or or how can you, um, maybejust make it a bit clearer of

(07:34):
what we mean by this?

sit with it for a moment.
Sit with those emotions thatyou just discussed.
Don't be afraid of them.
Sit with the shock.
Then sit with the grief oflearning something new, right um
.
Sit with the anger and thefrustration and the blame, but
don't sit there too long,because it turns into a vicious
cycle and then you'll be in avictim mentality.

(07:58):
And then that victim mentalityonly grapples you deeper instead
of actually embracing whereyou're at in this very moment.
It draws you backwards insteadof keeping you in this very
moment.
So the first step is is sit init.
But then some people would askhow long do I sit in it?
Or sit in it for a day or two?
Give yourself maximum sevendays, sit in the whole process

(08:20):
of absorbing this informationand then look outside the window
and start thinking beyond that.
What do I want?
Just because I've had thisdiagnosis, it doesn't make it
who I am right now.
It's just another part andparcel of me for this very
moment, whether I can heal fromit, reverse it or cure it,

(08:41):
that's one part, but let me workin.
What do I want right now in life?
Maybe, maybe it's a calling foryou just to sit down and notice
.
Are you.
Have you been living to die orhave you been dying to live?
Maybe it's one of those alarmbells to just process where am I
at what?
What do I want to do?
Who do I want to become fromthis?

(09:01):
You know what changes could Iadapt?
Who?
Who haven't I called lately?
Um, who are the people that Iwant in my life?
Who are the people that I wantto filter out of my life or I
want to spend more time with?
These are all things that,naturally, we should be thinking
about day to day, butunfortunately, due to the race
that we live, especially here inSydney, we we park those ideas

(09:22):
and we get so exhausted that bythe time the evening comes, we
just want to switch off andunwind.
So we don't do those calls andwe don't, you know, create those
connections.
But then, when we get adiagnosis, it's that pause, it's
that forced pause to reflect.
So I would be sitting with thatsit, with the emotions, and
then see what do you want andhow have you been living and who

(09:44):
is it that you want to start toconnect with?
Because, regardless of adiagnosis, my belief system is
nobody can tell you when you'regoing to die.

Fiona Kane (09:55):
Yeah, nobody knows for sure.

No, no, you don't know when you are going to
be birthed and when you'regoing to leave.

Fiona Kane (10:01):
Yeah, and that's actually an interesting, that's
a conundrum or something I'vetalked about with a friend of
mine before is there's the wholeidea of okay, there's an
ethical issue here, right?
So the ethical issue inmedicine has always been you
should tell people the truth,because obviously they need to
plan and they need to know howdire things are and whether or

(10:23):
not they should take yourrecommendations, blah, blah,
blah.
So I totally get that and Itotally understand there's an
ethical question there.
And then once upon a time theydidn't tell people and then they
didn't get the opportunitynecessarily to change things.
And now they do tell people.
But then there's a whole levelof okay.
So ethically, if you say it'sright to tell people and I'm not
arguing that it's not, this isjust one of those dilemmas, I

(10:45):
think.
But the problem is then, if it'sethical to tell people and you
tell people, well, essentiallyyou are kind of making up a
number and you're making it upbased on, obviously, what you
might have seen X amount ofpeople live for this long and X
amount but obviously they usethe data and then they just
project based on that.
It's not the truth, but justproject based on that.

(11:07):
But once they say a number.
The problem with that is alittle bit like in the
indigenous culture in Australia.
There's like pointing the boneat someone.
It's like you point the bone atsomeone and then they go away
and die, sort of thing.
So it's almost like this.
Once you believe that.
So if someone gives you a xamount of time, x amount of
months or whatever, does thathappen because you believe it,

(11:28):
because you've now taken that onthat's.

That's an extremely good question because
if you look at it and if youlook at the studies through
harvard university or any studyfor that matter when you want to
when they do surveys for thepeople that have been prescribed
a timeline for their expirydate which nobody has the right
to do, that, quite frankly,because it's something not with

(11:56):
us, right, but unfortunately,you know, the medical system has
chosen to take that on board asa responsibility but then if
you look at the percentile andthe average of people that have
survived beyond the expiry datethat has been prescribed to them
, or the ones that have passedaway during that time and they
were correct there is adifference in thoughts and

(12:17):
beliefs.
The ones that lived beyond thatsaid no to the limitations a
human being put on them and saidno, no, that it was not
accepted as a suggestion.
Hence why, at the beginning, Iwas discussing it's you and your
life.
Sometimes, which doctor isgiving you the information?
Because some doctors are veryblunt, some are very

(12:40):
compassionate in how they saythings.
Well, you know, they give youthe positive first and they say,
oh, but you know, like dr ste,steve Berman is a classic
example of this and he's had alot of cancer patients.
If people don't know him, readhis book.
It's phenomenal, right.

Fiona Kane (12:54):
So Dr Steve Berman did you say it, how do?
You spell that.

S-T-E-V-E and Berman B-E-I-R-M-A-N.
Berman.
Okay, brilliant doctor, I'llgive you the name of the book.
I think it's Pills and Potions.
It was called something likethat, or Healing Through Pills
and Potions.
He said something reallymagnificent.
Now, he was working in theemergency department for many,

(13:19):
many years and they had apatient that ran through that
was having a heart attack, andthen they needed to put her in a
theater room to operate.
But they didn't have a theaterroom available at that time.
Right Simultaneously, a similarincident was happening in a
room next door to her, right.
So this is in the ER.
And he heard the doctor in thebackground.

(13:42):
So this lady is stable rightnow.
He heard the doctor saying youknow, if we don't get her a
theater room, this woman's goingto die right now in the ER.
Now Dr Steve had an observation.
This is the first time where heawakened hypnosis and the whole
nitty-gritty of the unconsciousmind.
Right, he noticed that on themonitor the heart monitor she
started to have highpalpitations.

(14:02):
The doctor didn't speak infront of her, but she heard the
conversation.
So her unconscious mind took onboard a suggestion behind the
curtain and that was his firstobservation.
Now the one next door didn'thear anything like that and she
was fine.
They, that one survived.
That one ended up having anotherheart attack in the ER in that
emergency department and theyended up putting her in theater

(14:24):
room and everything he ended upgoing to in a theater room and
everything.
He ended up going to learnabout hypnosis and NLP and
language, just to understandwhat was going on.
Over the years he ended upapplying this to his practice
and when he did have a cancerpatient, he learned something.
He learned two things visuallyand language as a doctor.
Now, not all doctors have thisskill.
The first thing, when he comesto give a diagnosis because it

(14:46):
is valid, it is there, it is thetruth, it's conventional
medicine and it's not a lie heuses his hands, fiona, and he
says you know, you are a part ofthis side of people of a
diagnosis, but I have seen 2% ofpeople survive or 98% survive
right, so it's part and parcelof observation in the mind,

(15:08):
visually and language.
He's getting the person to benaturally reframed.
What do you want?
I can't put an expiry date, butaccording to the person tiles
that we've seen over the years,this is only a survival rate of
six weeks.
But I know and I wonder ifyou'd surprise yourself and be
the two percent or whatever itis, or 98 percent of people that
would survive this, and sothat's another suggestion.

(15:30):
Now, not all doctors give youthis approach right, yeah, so
he's actually just reframing it.

Fiona Kane (15:35):
So he's telling the truth he's reframing it in that
you might, you could maybe, bethe one, one of the ones in the
percentage of people who survivethis exactly but, and so he'll
speak about the positive because, being a doctor, using the
ethics, they have to delivertheir information.

That's a part of their job, right?
So he'll deliver it.
This is the rate.
But he won't deliver the rateat the beginning, he'll deliver
it at the end, he'll reframe andhe says he goes.
I've noticed that every patientI have had almost every from
what he's told us right, andI've done a few of his courses
and read his book he hasn't hadany death.

Fiona Kane (16:11):
Okay, what does that mean?
Yeah, obviously the mind's abig part of this.
Clearly, I mean, I don't know,I haven't read the papers or
seen the evidence, but goingfrom what you said, but yeah, I
I do know that uh, the mind hasa lot of power, because even
I've talked about this before onthe podcast, but I talked about

(16:32):
a um.
There was a really big studydone on stress and the um.
The study was done.
It was like over 30 000 peopleI think it was a lot of people
and essentially what it did, isit looked at.
It asked people at the beginningof the study if they'd had
stress in the last 12 months,and so they put people in the
category of people who've hadhigh stress, people have had
moderate stress and people havehad a low stress.

(16:53):
And then what they did?
Is they monitored, how?
Oh?
And then they asked them ifthey think it was affecting
their health, and so they gotthem to say you know and and and
you know it's affecting myhealth.
It's not blah, blah, blah.
And essentially at the end ofthe day, when they looked at,
they basically just looked atdata of people's health outcomes

(17:14):
and whether or not they diedover this sort of long period of
time, and what they found isthe people that had the highest
stress but didn't think it wasaffecting them were the people
who lived the longest, whereasthe people who had the highest
stress and did think it washarming them they died sooner.

(17:37):
So what they came up with wasthat the belief that the stress
is killing you is what iskilling you.
Right, people died from thebelief that the stress was
killing them.
So I totally get what you'resaying.
I don't have the data in frontof me of what you're talking
about, but I've seen the datafor the stress, and so I do know
that the mind is reallypowerful.
And, yes, if you say that thisis killing me, then you're

(18:02):
probably right.

Almost every time because, regardless of a
diagnosis or not, we are allheading that way.
The sooner we accept the idea,the sooner we can live to die as
opposed to dying to live.

Fiona Kane (18:18):
So can you just clarify when you say live to die
, die to live, can you justexplain that a little bit more
detail?

So I usually use it as a metaphor with my
clients when they come throughand they're feeling very
suicidal or really in adepressive mindset and they
can't seem to come out of it.
And I question them a lot and Iuse my hands as well and I
always say, like pay attentionto my hands.
You've entered this worldwithout permission.
You didn't even ask to.
You're going to leave withoutdistinction.

(18:51):
You didn't.
You didn't ask to either.
Okay, so there's two ways tolife, so the entering and the
exiting.
Now there's two types of peoplepeople that they have entered
and accepted life and are livingto die.
So they're driving the rightway, so they're driving towards
the end, but they're fulfillingtheir needs.
They they're satisfyingwhatever it might be, you know,
if it's a career or building afamily, building connections,
living a legacy, whatever it maybe.

(19:13):
So these people are living todie.
They're with the flow of life,they're accepting the processes
and challenges.
But then you have the oppositepeople, which are walking or
driving the opposite directionof the right way to drive is
dying to live.
So it's a struggle because youhave all the cars that are
living to die and the peoplethat are driving against that.

(19:33):
It's a big trap.
You end up with more challengesbecause you're finding more
obstacles, because you'refocusing more on the negative,
you're noticing more of thedarker colors than the lighter
colors.
You're not observing everythingaround you except what is in
front of you.
And that's a very foebleposition to be in.
It's very tunneled and to be ina tunneled position, you don't
have any chance of possibilities, of more doors and

(19:56):
opportunities to come out ofright.
So that's a very depressive wayto look at things.
Let's just call it Hence.
They might be looping in inchronic stress, or anxiety,
which is fear, um, or depression, which sits in a lot of sadness
of an old challenge.
But that's behind you.
But you're dragging what isbehind you to in front of you.
But you're also driving thewrong direction of the right way

(20:19):
.
And it's a choice.
If and I get them to observewhere are you?
How long have you been living?
Are you 20, 30, 40?
Observe that.
Have you really been living inthe now, this present moment?
Because yesterday doesn't existanymore.
Fiona, quite frankly, tomorrowwe may or may not live.
So what are we doing today, now?
This is what is essential forthe possibility of tomorrow.

(20:41):
It's a possibility, it's not acertainty and just knowing that
we can adjust to the uncertaintyof not being certain of
tomorrow, but being certainenough that we could live to
tomorrow, that we have themotivation and drive to live in
the now for tomorrow pushes usand our perceptions and our
thought patterns.
And now we're not dying to liveanymore, we're living to die.

(21:04):
We're in the moment and thepast no longer defines who we
are and where we're going tomoving forward, and this helps
reframe that perception.
Well, no, I've been dragging mypast along with me and I've
always worried about death.
But worrying about death islike worrying twice.
How about if you didn't dietomorrow and you're worried
about it today?

Fiona Kane (21:25):
what was the point?
What's the point in worryingabout it will happen when it
happens, but why obsess about itnow?

and if you worry about it right now for
tomorrow, fiona, and thentomorrow comes and it doesn't
happen, you just worryunnecessarily.
And then let's just saysomething does happen, a
challenge or something thatyou're worried about.
You're worried about it todayand in a week, it happened, and
then you're worried about it,then You've just doubled up your
worry, you've stacked up onunnecessary stress.

Fiona Kane (21:55):
And you see this a lot.
And look, I just want to justagain say in this conversation
and when we have thisconversation, there's no
judgment about what people doand don't do and what they
choose to do or how peoplerespond to their diagnosis or
any of that, because it's not me, it's you, and everyone has

(22:16):
their individual experience andI don't want to make any
judgment on anyone.
None of this is meant to be ajudgment.
We're just having a discussionabout what we've observed,
either in clinical practice orin studies or things like that
or things that might be usefulfor people, but in no way is
this meant to be a judgment.
In saying that, that, somethingI have observed is that I do see

(22:38):
it in people, and not even justcancer diagnosis, I just mean
in general, there are people who, as they get older or as the
people who shut down a lotearlier in their life.
There are people who and I heardsomeone say in a speech where
someone said this at the end ofthe speech the other day about
how people kind of almost die inincrements because they're kind

(23:00):
of closed down earlier in theirlife and you do see that with
some people where and it'sprobably more often people who
are living in their head aboutwhat might happen or or stressed
or whatever it is.
But these people, they theyclose, they make themselves
smaller, they make them theirlives smaller and it's kind of

(23:22):
like they.
They kind of almost sit downand wait to die, but they might
do that 10 years before, 20years before, five years before,
six months, whatever it is.
And it's really really sad tosee when people do that, and a
lot of that is what's going onin their, in their mind um, I'm
going to expand on that if youdon't mind.

Uh, a very strong observation.
Over the course of 12 years,roughly, a close friend of mine,
she, was first diagnosed withbreast cancer.
She was the initial starter forme to go on a hunt and research
to understand cancer so welland hence why it's one of my um
research, parts of my work andfield and the people that I work

(24:04):
with and so forth.
The first observation was overthe years, when I started to do
a lot of research and write alot of notes to watch what was
going on.
She made a conscious orunconscious decision, you could
say, at the time Her dad hadpassed away.
Once her dad passed away, shewas very close to him at the

(24:25):
time.
This is just one amongst manythings and everybody has
different factors involved, butthis is just one observation
over one human being.
There was a close friend andher father had passed away and
her son was only six months oldand she was in a second marriage
and she was unhappy that herfather had passed away.
Then her husband started to,let's just say, not treat her

(24:48):
fairly and so within three tofour months she had a diagnosis
of breast cancer.
Now I remember the conversationso vividly, like as though
Fiona, it was yesterday, when Iwas on the phone and she was
crying when her dad passed away.
In that moment, four monthsbefore her diagnosis, and she
had a six-month-old boy, shetold me I don't want to live

(25:08):
anymore.
She said I don't know what'sthe point of living once the
thing that meant so much to mehas been taken away.
So that was her style ofdealing with grief right, but
unconsciously not recognizingher language.
Yes, I don't want to live,sarah, I don't want to do this
now.
Four months later, she wasdiagnosed with aggressive breast

(25:31):
cancer and all throughout fourto six of her lymph nodes down
left side of her body.
So she made a consciousdecision to go into surgery.
That's fine.
She went into surgery, shebegan chemo.
But they also told hersomething very interesting,
because it was very deep intothe lymph nodes close to the
heart, that you've got six weeksto live.

(25:52):
And I recall that conversationbecause I was sitting there with
the doctor and I told himthat's absolutely not acceptable
and we're not accepting thatsuggestion and I took her out of
there.
I was really frustrated I wasvery young at the time and I
walked down.
I go.
Listen, we're not acceptingthat suggestion.
We're not accepting it as asuggestion.
No, nobody has the key to theunknown right.
I go, but you've got a newborn,he needs you and she looks at

(26:15):
me and she goes, but I miss mydad.
That was her response.
With that, it's like almost youcould say, in this case, a
manifestation I'm not sayingthis is not all cases, this is
just one scenario.
And I go, but your son needsyou and so within six weeks she
began um treatment with thechemo and she passed the six

(26:36):
weeks.
She began treatment with thechemo and she passed the six
weeks and she was in remissionwithin three months.
Miraculous remission, right,because her son is what she
wanted.
To stay around with Five yearsin remission it came back.
Now, the time it came back, shewas having a lot of troubles
with her partner, a lot of heavytroubles, and she wanted to

(26:59):
leave that relationship.
But she was carrying shame.
I don't want a second divorce.
So what was the exit strategy?
Unconsciously for her, it wascancer.
She ended up with passiveaggressive cancer.
Again.
They called it metastatic, wentinto remission within 12 months
, again she wasing.
And then I sat down with her oneday, because I was treating her

(27:20):
during that process andteaching her about.
You know, it's not just themind, it's also food,
environment, the people.
There's so many things involvedin anything that could happen
to us.
It's our belief systems andwhat we want and we don't want,
right?
And I told her you're not doinga great job in dying.
She looks at me, she goes whatdo you mean?
I go, well, you want to die,but you've boxed yourself in a

(27:46):
prison that hasn't brought youto the conclusion of what you're
after, because you don't havethe key to the unknown.
The only way that life couldend is suicide and that's not
acceptable, right?
And she sat and she burstedinto tears and she goes to me
you are right, I've beenattempting to die by creating

(28:06):
this ease, without consciouslyrealizing she goes now, what do
I do to get out of it?
So she had a limiting beliefand she recognized it.
So we did a lot of hypnosis andthen she ends up with cancer in
her uterus.
We reversed that before theydid the surgery.
She didn't have it anymore, um,and then at the end she passed
away, march 16 last year.
But she was cancer free.
She didn't have cancer anymore,but she was unhappy and the

(28:32):
only thing was her body startedto shut down in every way due to
a lot of treatment andradiation and all of that.
That it's a very rare, it's a,it's a unique case.
It's a unique case.
And I recall before she passedum and before she lost her
language and her words those fewdays and she was like just take
care of my kids, I'm happy togo.
Yes, she was ready.
Right, she was ready, she wasready.

(28:55):
But then I've had other peoplecome through, which I'm not
going to share too much detail,and they didn't want cancer to
take and grapple their life.
They're like no, I've got moreto live for, I want to hold on.
And they've gone intomiraculous remission and moved
past that, utilizingconventional medicine, treatment
of um, chemo and whatnot andsome radiation in some cases.

(29:15):
Some cases went full holistic.
It's a choice at the end of theday and some utilize holistic
treatments like hypnosis and thereframe.
Where am I?
What are my limiting beliefs?
You don't create dis-ease, yourbody just keeps score,
according to Basil Vandiver.
So I don't know if you've readhis book the Body Keeps Score,

(29:36):
but he discusses the anchoringof the challenges and thoughts
that we have gone throughwithout choice, sometimes gets
held into the body and, similarto louise hayes work it gets, it
gets attached to certain organsin the body or parts in the
body which then impose and showup as a disease, a diagnosis,
and so it's up to us to sit downwith that and see how do you

(29:59):
want to unpack it, and it's notalways the case.
There is many other factors.
This is just one parcel.
In my personal opinion, theseare two different people,
perceptions similar, but myopinion is there's other factors
.
There's environment, there isfood, there is, seriously, who
you're hanging out with highvibrational people, low
vibrational people.
Which is your environment andyour belief systems, your

(30:20):
traumas have you cleared them?
Have you worked on them?
Are you happy where you're at?
Realistically, what happinessmight mean to you?
Which is contentment really?

Fiona Kane (30:30):
Yeah, you're right, there are a lot of factors and
this is just one of them andwe're talking about one of them.
And one thing I have certainlyseen is I see this a lot and
myself included, I have to havean awareness of my language
sometimes as well.
Is that in people when you getto a point with carers?

(30:51):
So for me it's caring of olderpeople, like I was caring for my
mother before she passed andand I've been caring recently
for another relative and uh, andyou see a lot with carers I
hear them say things like thisis killing me, we'll die before
they do, and then that I hear alot of that language and people

(31:12):
sort of say it jokingly, butsort of jokingly and sort of not
.
And I've seen it when, whenpeople do say this a lot, how
they often pass not long afterthe person they were caring for
and I've often wondered how muchof their belief that it was
killing them and that theywouldn't, that they would go it.

(31:35):
I just wonder how much of thatbelief contributed to what
happened.

I know that there has been a lot of studies
around that and it's beengrowing a lot more increasingly
with the younger generation tofind out and understanding the
mind a lot more deeper.
But a classic scenario of whatyou just explained.
I'm also a carer for my motherand recently she's got glucoma
right.
But growing up she alwaysdiscussed that I don't want to

(32:03):
see this anymore.
I don't want to see thisanymore and then she ends up
with glucoma under the knife.
So she was in a surgery, um,and she ends up with the rare
side effects of the surgery andends up with glucomoma moving
forward and I tried to reframeher and everything.
But she's very stubborn elderlywoman.
She doesn't want to.
She's not happy.
She's gone through a lot oftrauma herself and it's

(32:24):
unfortunate to be part ofwitnessing that.
You know big portion of thatgrowing up.
But recently, which amused me,she actually asked me a question
.
So recently we had a reunionwith one of my siblings and it's
a step-sibling, so she was apart of big chapter in his life.
When he was sitting there, shewasn't herself, fiona, she

(32:45):
wasn't herself.
When he left I felt she wasvery disorientated and then she
approached me.
She was something happened tome and what happened to you, mom
, she goes.
I went completely and utterlyblind in that moment.
I could not see.
That's why I was very withdrawn, trying to heed, but I wasn't
able to see.
So her balance, she lostbalance in that conversation, I

(33:09):
go.
Well, I asked you did you wantto see, in this confrontational
moment?
Did you want to see your stepchild?
You know my brother, I go.
Did you want to see thisconfrontational moment?
Did you want to see yourstepchild?
You know my brother, I go.
Did you want to sit?
And she goes?
I did, I did want to sit and Idid want to see him.
I go.
Mum, watch your language.
At a conscious level, you did.
But did you, at an unconsciouslevel, just tap into that gut?

(33:30):
You know the third brain, yourintuition, and she goes.
Well, I didn't want to see andbe reminded of my history.
I go hear what you said.
I didn't want to see and bereminded by my history.
I didn't want to see.
So you're reminded of my fatherand he looks very similar and

(33:51):
it triggered all the traumas,right, and I'm like mom, do you
realize what is happening?
You didn't have congruency.
Your conscience wantedsomething, but your unconscious,
which hadn't healed becauseyou've never gone to therapy and
you've chosen not to becauseyou're so stubborn.
Right, there wasn't acongruency.
So, because there was aseparation and a gap, it showed

(34:13):
up because you don't want to seethe past.
And it showed up in that wayand it was very dramatic and you
couldn't see.
I go, but are you seeing?
Right now?
She goes, yes, but as soon as Iwas speaking to you about it, I
started to feel very blurry.
Are you picking up on the cues?
Language, language, language.
It's so essential, it's soimportant.
And I go to her Mom, reframeyour words.
We were in the car, I wasdriving her.

(34:34):
I go reframe it.
Say I noticed that I didn'twant to see, but I'm going to
choose to see through thisbecause, at the end of the day,
he's not my husband, he's mystepson.
And when she started to learnthat language in the car, we had
a 20-minute drive and I wasteaching her and she was very
emotional.
And she goes, I'm seeing.
I'm seeing clearer again.
So her vision was coming on andoff fiona momentarily in the

(34:57):
car, like people witnessing this, and she only sees in one of
her eyes more so than another.
What does that mean?
Right, the meanings that we'regiving to the language that
we're using is so essential.
So we've got to watch our steps.
We've got to catch ourselves.
I don't know, have you you heardof Jose Silva?
No, jose Silva created theSilva Method, which discusses a

(35:20):
lot of language and reframingsimilar to NLP, but he had a
beautiful.
A lot of people can go and dohis course.
In New South Wales.
There's one teacher that runsit.
Find it online, but he talksabout language, language,
language, language.
Once again, yes, limitingbeliefs created by the words
that you speak.
So if you and you create amodel and I'll give you this,
and this is a tool that peoplecan take away today, the moment

(35:41):
you catch yourself saying youknow, I can't hear this anymore,
I don't want to see thisanymore.
Oh my god, I feel like dying.
I'm dying today, or I wish Icould have a break from work.
Listen to all these words.
You turn around and reframe,cancel, cancel.
I'm just exhausted, hence why Idon't want to go to work.
I'd like to have a time out,holiday, not break, because

(36:05):
break means you're gonna break aleg and you still don't have
your annual leave, right, yes.
So cancel, cancel, you justreframe it, um, and you build on
that and you stack on that, andthat's.
That's something you can doevery day.
It's very light.

Fiona Kane (36:15):
People can hear it when they hear that language and
they've done the course,they'll know that you're doing
jose silva's work, which issilver method yeah, so and what
you said there is like reframeas well, because what you're not
advocating for lying or makingthings up, you're actually just
advocating for clarifying thingsand saying saying the truth,
because it's the same as whenpeople define themselves by

(36:38):
their disease or by theirproblems.
So one of the things I talk alot about with my clients is
emotional eating.
Right Now, I could refer tomyself as an emotional eater or
I could refer to myself assomeone who sometimes
emotionally eats.
There's very different energyaround those two things.

(36:59):
Now, while it might be accurateto a certain extent, an
emotional eater isn't who I am.
It is a behavior that I dosometimes and if we make
something who we are, then it'svery hard to fix that because we
can't necessarily well, wemight feel like we can't change
that or we're not able to changethat.

(37:20):
But when it's something you do,when we are able to separate it
something we do or something weexperience from who we are,
it's not the same thing.
So in that format, languagereally matters as well.
So language really does make abig difference.
But also in what you weretalking about before in regards

(37:41):
to you know, if people like theydon't want to see you or
whatever their language is.
The other study that I think ofis there's a big Harvard study
and I think it's a longer studyon longevity.
It's been going for 100 yearsor something and this study,
what they found was that theywere looking for what's the key

(38:01):
to longevity and they were sortof is it someone's cholesterol
level or what is it right?
And what they found is that itwas relationships, and they
found that it was having arelationship particularly your
main relationship, your partneror whatever with someone who has
your back, someone who you feelyou can trust.
They have your back, you feelsafe with them.

(38:23):
Not necessarily someone younever fight with or whatever,
because that's just notrealistic because we're human
but just someone who has yourback, as opposed to say, someone
like.
What they found is that if youwere in a relationship that was
a combative relationship like anasty combative relationship
where someone was underminingyou or you were in danger
psychologically, physically,whatever it is you were more

(38:46):
likely to die sooner, you weremore likely to get alzheimer's
or like some sort of dementia,um, and so essentially, what
you're doing is like, if you'reliving in this unsafe
environment, what is happeningis you're withdrawing from that,
either just mentally and justshutting down, getting dementia,
or actually passing away.

(39:07):
And so you're more likely tosurvive and keep your faculties
when you're in a relationshipwhere you feel safe and where
you feel someone has your back.
And again, how powerful is that.
That in those cases it wasabout their environment, of who
they were with and how safe theyfelt in that environment.
And again that shows you howpowerful it is and whether or

(39:31):
not there were certain thingsthey said to themselves, or
whether or not they just feltunsafe and so they shut down, or
not there were certain thingsthey said to themselves, or
whether or not they just feltunsafe and so they shut down and
pulled away.
But you can.
You can see the different waysin which we can shut down.
Or we can use language to shutourselves down, or or we can
talk ourselves into things thatsooner than we need to, or that

(39:53):
we don't need to at all, or thatsimply aren't true, but we make
them true because we create it.

So it's Fiona, it's the unconscious idea.
And if we don't, as I saidearlier on and as we discussed
earlier, there's multiplefactors.
Yes, there's food and nutrition, 100%.
That plays one large parcel,because this is the faculties
within your body.
That's filtering through thingsthat you're eating, whether
it's got pesticides and whatnot.

(40:20):
If it's not organic, that's awhole different scenario, right,
and the other part and parcelof it is the environment, the
people that you're hangingaround with, the people you're
connecting with um, do they havea lot of control factors over
you and who you are as acharacter?
And the environment that yougrew up in, initially, the
conditioning, the programmingthat has brought you to who you

(40:41):
are right now.
People are not their behaviors.
You know the actions and thethings and the styles people are
delivering is based on theconditionings from history,
right, and then that creates theinvitation to gravitate and
invite similar people back, andthey call it trauma bond in the
current environment as you getolder, it's because of the old
conditioning belief system.

(41:01):
So the one strong factor wasthe environment.
And then you have other parts,the externalized part of your
environment, your next circle.
What's that?
The socioeconomics, so thepeople outside of that, your
work, what happens after that?
The global aspect are youwatching the news?
Because there's only bad newsin the news.
That's the, that's the facade,right, and they're only honing

(41:22):
in onto what the fee?
Fee?
What happens to youunconsciously being wired to see
fee if you go down a level?
And then you see theenvironment of your work if it's
a circus that you're working in, there is a lot of control and
power in there and you're notfinding your safety zone.
And then you hone a bit moredeeper in and the relationship
is toxic.
And then you hone in onto yourfood and then you tell me that

(41:43):
I've got eating habits.
Well, look at the whole outsidein, go back into the root.
What was happening at the firstearly conditioning?
What were the belief systemsthat were installed in you that
you haven't maybe confronted,sat with let go and just
presented them as it's okay, wecan deal with this like any
child that has a tantrum.
You've got two options you sitwith them and you comfort them

(42:07):
and give them the safety so theycan go past it, or you can
neglect them and then over time,they feel that that neglect
means I'm not going to getattention.
So then they withdraw, they goinside their world.
They feel that that neglectmeans I'm not going to get
attention, so then they withdraw.
They go inside their world,they create that bubble and that
eventuates into dis-ease.
A classic scenario of this,which a lot of people can watch
on Netflix.
I'm not sure if it's still onthere, but it's the blue and red
zone, the people, the longevityof life.

(42:29):
About the blue zone.
Have you watched it?

Fiona Kane (42:32):
I've watched some of it.
What are you talking about inregards to it?
Just so you can trick my memory, because I remember looking at
the nutrition side of it.
But what were you talking about?

The longevity of life, how you can reach the
age of 90 without this ease,without anything, the connection
that you're in the nature youknow the grounding, it's all of
the things, yeah.
The exercise.

Fiona Kane (42:53):
So the oldies over there in Greece live in a
village, but they're alwayswalking uphill yeah, yeah, I
talk about that a lot actually,that it's not just what you eat,
because when we look at, like,the Mediterranean diet or
whatever, people think it's onlyabout the olive oil and there's
nothing wrong with that.
There's nothing wrong with theMediterranean diet or the olive
oil.
But, yes, exactly what you saidwhen you look at those zones,

(43:13):
the people usually haveconnection, they're part of the
community and they have that.
They have that till they die aswell.
Like they're not kind of, theydon't offer the nursing home
somewhere as the old songsthough that nobody listens to.
They're actually a part of thecommunity that's important and
respected, and people areinterested in what they have to
say and see them as a wise elder, and they are usually working

(43:37):
or, if not working, still veryphysically mobile right up until
they die.
So they're out, like you said,in Greece they're walking up
those hills like mountain goats.
They've got those hills thatthey walk up, or they have the
olive groves that they tend to,or they've got the rice paddies
that they tend to, or the milkof the cows.

They're milling by hand.

Fiona Kane (43:58):
They've got a machine, yeah, yeah.
So they are very, veryphysically active, usually doing
something, they're involved intheir community, they are
expected somewhere, they'reneeded somewhere, they have
purpose, and so there's all ofthose things.
And then when you look at, likethe, the, how important it is

(44:19):
for stress to be sort of part ofa community and to be needed
and to have purpose and and ifyou're, usually there are places
where they will eat and thefood, when we get back to the
food, it's it's usually it'slocal food and it's real food
and it's usually ancestral food,the food that they've been
eating in that community forthousands of years or hundreds

(44:40):
of years or whatever it is.
And and often they, when theydo eat, it is like a family or a
community thing and it's a slowthing and they, you know, they
prepare it together and thenthey eat together and it's like
they're not sitting in front ofthe news.
Uh, they're eating theirmicrowave meals.
So, yeah, all of those thingsmake a difference.

(45:01):
And that's actually where, whenI think of, there was someone I
interviewed on this podcast afew months ago.
His name is Hazem and I can'tremember the number of, but I'll
put in the show notes, I'll puta link to the episode.
I can't remember the exactepisode, number 70-something I
can't remember now.
Anyway, he is a reallyinteresting man and it's really

(45:22):
worth listening to the episode.
And he's been dealing with sortof cancer diagnosis for many,
many years and I did check inabout a month or so ago and he's
still got some really majorchallenges happening there.
But what I would say and he'shad like over 50 spinal
surgeries and uh and, but really, um, he's really struggled and

(45:47):
had challenges with his healthfor a really long time.
And he's to the point now where, uh, when I spoke to him I'm
not quite sure what's that now,because he's had a few surgeries
since then but when I spoke tohim I'm not quite sure what's
that now, because he's had a fewsurgeries since then but when I
spoke to him he was I think hecalled it triplegic where he
only had the use of one hand butnot the rest.
He's not his other arm or hislegs.

(46:07):
He and what I noticed when Ispoke to him, as opposed to when
I've spoken to other people whomight have some really harsh
diagnosis or that kind ofdealing with those things is he
had such a strong sense ofpurpose, so what he was doing,

(46:28):
and he'd had everything takenaway from him because he was a
fighter pilot.
And he lost his career as afighter pilot because he lost
the use of his legs and ithappened while he was in the air
.
Actually, he had to land to theplane without the use of his
legs and, you know, it happenedwhile he was in the air.
Actually, he had to land to theplane without the use of his
legs and then, you know, gethimself, took him an hour to get
himself out of the plane whenhe landed and you know so,
getting to the point where youcould become a fighter pilot, I

(46:48):
mean the level of excellence anddedication it takes to get
there.
And it was just taken away fromhim, right.
And then he studied law and heworked as a lawyer within the
defence, but then later on, morerecently, what he's been doing
is he's been advocating forpeople with disabilities and

(47:08):
he's been advocating for them toget the services they need and
the wheelchairs they need andreally fighting for really,
really, very, really importantcauses and really important
situations where people need,you know, even just basic like
there was.
I think there was one person whocouldn't get.
Like this person wasquadriplegic and they gave them

(47:31):
a wheelchair or something thathad hand controls.
I was like no, this personneeded cheating control.
So even just like basic thingslike that.
You wouldn't realize it, butapparently you've got to fight
for some of those things becausethe people who push papers
somewhere don't understand thereality that those people are
living in.
Anyway, what I'm trying to sayis he had such strong sense of

(47:52):
purpose as far as I'm concerned,based on the information that
he gave me about his health he'sbeen living on fumes for years,
you know but he's got suchstrong sense of purpose that he
has survived for years and yearsand years and years, where,
frankly, I don't think I wouldhave Again language, but based

(48:13):
on what he's told me, I'm justlike, oh, my God how do you
survive?
But I think it is because he hassuch a strong sense of purpose
and a strong sense of what he'shere for and what he's on this
earth for and what he needs toachieve, and he's got such a
long list of things to achievethat I think that is what's
keeping him alive, and you'reright.

You're right because I've've said over and
over with many people, not justhim, yes, multiple stories that
we can utilize as examples ofthat.
Because what I've, what I'venoticed over the years, if you
wake up without a sense ofpurpose, who are you in that
morning?
Yes, who are you for who?
If it's not for yourself, thenfor who?
Hence we're, you know, goingback just to the olden culture,
which, unfortunately, in theWestern world has been minimized

(49:03):
.
But the clan value level two,having clans.
You know the community similarto Greece, the Aboriginals.
They still carry thatinheritance, it's a heritage for
them, it's absolutelyphenomenal, they live long lives
.
Why?
Why, it's a heritage for them,it's absolutely phenomenal, they
live long lives.
Why, yeah, why?
it's a village, it's a clan,it's, it's the, it's the value
of connection and purpose.
And, as you said earlier, andit's so true, when you watch

(49:26):
these documentaries and just tosee the longevity of life and
why it lasts so long, you're notgoing to work at the age of 80
and 90, but you are still awakeevery day with a purpose,
because I want to make a mealfor my great-great-grandkids.
They want to see me there, theywant to hear my wisdom.
So I have a reason to wake up.
I move, I go down and get theirgroceries while they're at
school, so when they come theyhave less things to do and we

(49:48):
can all sit on the dining tabletogether.
That's clan level two, thevalues.
Number two, the old-fashionedcultural community which we
unfortunately now lack insociety in the Western world.

Fiona Kane (50:01):
Yeah, and the other thing that those communities
have and again, look, sometimeswhen I bring things up, I'm not
necessarily arguing for it, butjust saying that that was just
the truth at the time andthere's advantages to it.
Just the truth at the time andthere's advantages to it.
And they didn't have as muchchoice as in.

(50:21):
You know, you, you were born.
You know, back in the back inthe day, if you were born into a
village, you were born and youwere going to have a fairly
specific role in that village,or if you were part of a tribe
or whatever, and that role mighthave been that you were going
to be the healer, or you weregoing to be a wife and mother or
gatherer, or or you were goingto be, um, go out to war, go out

(50:41):
and hunt and gather, go gofight battles or whatever it is
a warrior or something right.
And in some ways, like we, youknow, obviously, as a woman
living in 2025, I reallyappreciate how far we've come
and that we have choices andthat we have options and all
things.
So I'm not arguing necessarilyagainst that.
In saying that, though, therewas something about the

(51:03):
simplicity of that, and nowwe've made our lives so
complicated, so we've gone tothe nth degree of complication
and when you look at our societyat the complication, and when
you look at our society at themoment, and when you look at the
issues with physical and mentalhealth at the moment, you

(51:23):
cannot tell me that makingthings that complicated overall
has been a good thing it's veryinteresting.

you say that because we've over stimulated
ourselves, created so manythings to make life easier,
which has created thecomplications of the mind,
because we haven't been built tohave everything easy.
You know the saying that sayshard times create strong people.

(51:50):
Yes, strong people create easytimes, and then easy times
create weak people and then,unfortunately, the cycle begins
again because these weak peoplecreate hard times for their
families and those families thathave come out from hard times
cycle back and become strong,which create easy times for the
weak people.
And it's just a cycle, right.
But when you look at thefaculties we have, look at us

(52:13):
having this conversation whowould have known?
In 2025 we can be live, you andI have a camera in front of me.
You know one of these speakersand have this flow conversation
while you're in another place,completely far from me.
Right, such an easy flow.
But it's created timidness,it's created restrictions.

(52:34):
As much as it looks like it'sfreedom, it's actually
restrictness because now ourcreative side of our minds are
no longer functioning becauseeverything well, classic example
chat, gpt.
Now you don't have to thinkwhat to say yeah, yeah.

Fiona Kane (52:49):
And I look the number of people who young
people who've asked me questionsthat they could just google.
I'm like fair dinkum I grew upwhen you, we had an assignment,
you had to go to the library orhad to had to refer to the the
funken wagnalls encyclopediasthat we had that were probably
20 years old.
And these, these people, allthey have to do is like just

(53:10):
google and they still ask thequestion because it's too hard
to google.

It's too hard to comprehend because they
haven't exhausted the ability toflick through things to capture
the information.
Another classic example the GPS.
I'm curious to know, gen Z, dothey remember the routes to
where they go?
Always relying on the GPS, so apart of the brain is no longer
functioning.
Now if we have high functioningback in the clan to values of

(53:39):
villages, highly functioning forsurvival.
And now these, these greatthings that have been explored
and added to our life to make iteasier, but now we're low
functioning people which onlycan create disease because we're
not active in our minds, in ourlanguage.
I'm sorry, but back in the dayswhen, when, when this ease
started to show up a little bitmore and more, what was

(54:00):
happening, life was gettingeasier yes we weren't as busy.
We now are more tired than ever.
We are now more exhausted thanever.
We're now more stressed thanever.
Hold on a second.
We missed the whole concept.
We made our life easier so wecan enjoy life, not to run in it
further yeah, yeah.

Fiona Kane (54:19):
and when you actually look at a lot of
disease concept and this isgoing down a whole other you
know we could do it for hoursbut we won't.
But when you, when you look atthe um things like how much the
body clock and and hormonalregulation and uh, and living
with the body clock and all ofthat relate to health issues.
What we know is that when youwake up in the morning, you

(54:40):
should have high levels ofcortisol.
That is completely normal, andthe reason you have high levels
of cortisol is because you needto go out and hunt and gather,
and then in the evenings youshould have high levels of
melatonin, because that's whenit's time to sleep, and so we
have these circadian rhythms.
And when we move out of themwhich we do in modern life
because of you know lights andyou know 24 hour life and shift

(55:03):
work and all of the other thingswe've moved completely away
from that and I've talked aboutthat in more detail in other
episodes, sort of what that isand what that means.
But essentially, when we'vemoved away from that and we've
sort of lost that sort of wholecircadian rhythm, and then
hormones all change andeverything, well, that is a big
part of why we have so muchdis-ease and disease and issues.

(55:25):
So we've moved away from that,which was living in a natural
cycle, and I know I forgot whereI was going with that.
I was talking about how itcauses disease and how that's
associated with disease, but Iwas tagging on from what you had
said.
What had you said before thatthat made me go into that.

I'm trying to I was just saying how we've
created such a simplicity oflife, making things easier, but
it's only could be bringing ourintelligence down.
Yeah, that's right.
Invite the idea of this ease,because so how much are we going
to attain now?
Right?

Fiona Kane (55:56):
yeah, so now I'm there.
Yeah, it was the ease, it wasmaking things easy.
So if we get up in the morningand now we sit down and have a
bowl of cereal well, not that Ido, because I don't advocate a
bowl of cereal, but we don'tactually have to hunt and gather
a bowl of cereal.
So that's what I was sort ofactively saying, because we've
made it easier on ourselves.
So, instead of getting up andusing that cortisol in the way

(56:17):
that we should and going out andgathering, an alternative these
days would be go out andexercise, right, but instead of
doing that, we get up and sitdown in front of a bowl of
cereal and without which hasbeen processed.

Yeah, it's been processed.

Fiona Kane (56:32):
Yeah, yeah, so you can see kind of where you know
what has happened here.
This is obviously a big topicand it's been really, it has
been really interesting talkingto you about this today.
Now, obviously there's, youknow, we might have to have a
part two and talk aboutsomething else, but is there
anything in particular that I'vemissed in regards to our topic
today that you really think it'skind of just worth mentioning

(56:53):
before we go?

um, I I just feel that for everyone that's
listening to this, um, justparking the idea of judgment,
just being a little bit moreopen mind to question yourself,
question where is this comingfrom?
You know, um, what is mypurpose?
And if you don't know yourpurpose, go and help someone,
because through that help ofother people and that

(57:15):
contribution you find your owninner purpose.
And the reason why I say this,um, is I think it's really
essential for our disease andcomfort of within ourself just
to get a little bit out of ourzones and it gets us to rewire
our mind frames again and againand again, through others and
just creating that connectionwithin our community, so we can

(57:36):
have that sense of fulfillmentand purpose when we wake up
every day, which thenessentially shrinks parts of
this ease, because we have areason now to get up.
So sit with yourself, noticewhere you're at.
What do you really want in life?
And when I say what do you want, we're not talking about cars
and houses.
What do you you really want?
If there was no existence ofanyone in the world you and I,

(57:59):
fiona, I don't even exist inthis conversation, it's just you
Would you have what you have?
Sit with that, ponder over it.
Would you dress the way youdress?
Would you speak the way youspeak?
Would you own what you own?
I wonder, how would you shiftand move in life?
Sit and ponder with these typesof questions.
Based on that, you can findyour authenticity, your inner

(58:20):
self, which then distracts andmoves and shifts.
This ease, because that's theinability of believing beyond
that foeval vision.
Right, it's a, it's a box, asyou were saying before with one
of one of the um, harvarduniversity's uh surveys that
they did.
It was very boxed.
Right, people were very boxed.
They were honed into smallerparticles.

(58:41):
Well, in order to expand beyondthat, think of yourself and
nothing but yourself in thisworld.
Who are you?
What do you want?
And then, based on that, that'sa form of reframing when you
come back up, to show up intothe world the appearance that
you give, so it can be alignedwith your inner self, and then
that can be part and parcel ofyour healing journey with the
disease you know that you couldbe having right now, or maybe

(59:03):
underlying, that hasn't evenbeen, hasn't shown up yet.
Yes, not giving a suggestionthat it's going to show up.
No suggestions, we've got asuggestion.

Fiona Kane (59:13):
And I suppose something to remember as well in
regards to what we've beentalking about, is right here,
right now, you're alive andregardless of whether you've had
diagnosis or not, or whereyou're at in your life, you're
alive right now and now's thetime to live.
We need to live while we'realive and live well Live well
Connect, well Connect.

You know there's a book that says the
five regrets or something oflife.
You know it discusses that.
What are your, what would beyour five regrets?

Fiona Kane (59:43):
yeah, yeah, and people don't regret not having a
ferrari or whatever.
That's not then, when they'reat the end of their life,
they're not talking aboutferraris and houses and things
like that, that's just.
I've never heard a story wherepeople are talking about those
things not once.
But they are talking aboutconnection and what actions that
they wish they took, or orpeople that they wish they'd
said certain things to, orthey're the kind of themes,

(01:00:04):
aren't they?

Sarah Chemaissem (01:00:05):
a hundred percent.
It comes back down to humanconnection.
No matter how you turn thestory, the main regret is I wish
I didn't say this, I wish I Isaid that.
I wish I said sorry more often.
I wish I didn't study as hardas I did, which distracted me
from the connections at home,for instance.
Yes, just a classic example.

Fiona Kane (01:00:27):
Yeah Well, we could talk about this forever.
However, we won't, Not thistime.
But it's been great having youon and look, if people want to
contact you, where can they findyou um, pretty much
everything's shown up on ourwebsite, so just
wwwbeyondnlpcoachingcomau.
It's got everything our socials, workshops and everything that

(01:00:49):
we run okay, so we'll also putthe appropriate links into our
show notes.
Look, thanks.
Thanks again, sarah.
It's really been great havingyou on today.

Thank you so much for having me Really
appreciate it.

For those of you watching or listening at home,
please like, subscribe and sharethis podcast.
It's really important for otherpeople to find out about all of
the valuable things that wetalk about here on this podcast.
It's important that people findout about it, so please like,
subscribe, share and also rateand review the episodes so
people find out more about ourpodcast, which is, you know,

(01:01:21):
what I aim to do here at theWellness Connection is have
important conversations aboutthings that matter.
So, looking forward to seeingyou all next week, I hope you
have a great week.
Thank you everyone, and thanksagain, sarah.

Thank you for having me.

All right, bye.

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Reframing a Diagnosis: How Language Shapes Your Healing Journey | Ep 104

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Reframing a Diagnosis: How Language Shapes Your Healing Journey | Ep 104