Ep. 30 There’s A Tale in the Tail

Latocha use the other type of residuals and pay your damn sister back cause no one ask for this. Then Don Lemon said, that this lemon doesn’t make lemonade, this is tea! Also is Marlon and Soulja Boy the new beef for this year or is it just zebra meat?. Lastly we get serious and talk about things that have impacted us as black people and how to break that generational trauma.

Join us in Discord: https://discord.gg/2e8px4mq

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
So hello everybody. My name is Atticus and my name is Hope and you are now watching the white refrigerator. Welcome back y'all

(00:07):
So welcome back everybody where we're keeping you fresh in the world of myths and helping us feel better together because lord knows we need it. We especially need it now.

(00:37):
We need it now more than we've ever needed anything in our entire life. But glad you all are here. Friend, how's your how's your week been?
My week has been pretty good actually. I graduate my onboarding tomorrow. Congratulations. Thank you. So hopefully all works out there well. I started to feel comfortable with everything so you know it's cool.

(01:05):
It's cool. I don't know if I can really say. Home is home. I cut my daughter's dreads off and she wanted to start her hair over so that was interesting.
How's she feeling? I think she's having mixed emotions now but you know. I'm learning. Where'd she get that from? Listen, because I'll cut my shit off. I'll cut it off. I don't care about no hair.

(01:33):
It looks good every time. You know what I'm starting to think I like myself more with shorter hair. So either shorter hair or like when I actually have my hair long enough to braid because I also like the way my face looks with the cornrows.
I don't like the way my face looks with an afro. I immediately turned into Professor Clomp.
It is Huck-a-Lees, Huck-a-Lees, Huck-a-Lees. Absolutely not. We ain't doing none of that. Absolutely not. Oh, doesn't matter if you say. It's sugar.

(02:05):
I'm just waiting for my Jan Jackson. Sugar. Sugar. Why? Uh uh. I look just like. Do you remember how he was running when he was on the first movie when he was late in class? That shuffle run that he was.
Yes. Listen, my life. But yeah, home is home. Other than that, as far as TV, I really haven't been watching anything new other than what I had mentioned before. Matter of fact, y'all, if y'all have any recommendations, again, come talk to us or talk to Atticus because he'd be in there more than I do.

(02:42):
I'm in the discord. I'll pop in and like like a comment or something and get the hell out. I'm back on my I'm tired of social media.
I'm going to go ahead and just like, uh, tag it again. So whatever, whatever there. But, um, yeah, shoot me some recommendations like as long as the story is good, I'll pretty much watch anything also as long as I see some of us in it, too. Um, but yeah, I'm open to a lot of different stuff. Um, but for me, it's just been the same. Now music.

(03:14):
I have a couple of different things, right? So music, uh, we have two groups. One is a group that I know a lot of people already know of, which is the Internet. Um, they don't have anything new, but I just been revisiting their old stuff and I really love their music. Um, I'm ready for them to come out with another album.
And then in the middle, really quiet. Yeah, I haven't heard anything from the Internet since like, I think, 2019.

(03:41):
It's been a long time. It's been a minute. Now each individual has had like, I know Steve Lacey had his own drop. See, it had her own drop. So like, they've been doing stuff. And of course, they work on other people's projects. But like, I need y'all to come together and do another album together, please.
If y'all are still together. Um, but so I found another group very groovy into them, um, named Cruza. I hope I'm saying that correctly. C-R-U-Z-A. Um, and that's just a vibe to listen to. Um, and then this guy named Boy Soda, um, which makes very trippy sound of music, of course, things that I'm into.

(04:22):
And then lastly, I want to give a shout out to Jermaine Cole. Uh, J Cole dropped a song called, I think it's what, yeah, Clouds. Um, and I just, I'm glad he's back rapping. I'm glad he's back to rapping. Um, I mean, which he never, he, so I've already talked about the whole Port San Antonio thing, whatever it's called, Port Antonio. I can't remember.

(04:51):
Uh, my, not beef with it, because I didn't really have beef with it, so it wasn't that serious to have beef with it. But it was just like, I never took anything away from Cole's rapping ability ever, ever. Now, Cole said some problematic shit before, plenty of times.
They all have, to be honest.
I don't, I don't know how he feels about the community, because he didn't took a jab at us in a couple of different ways. Um, but that being said, overall, a rapper, his flow is cadence. I cannot take that away from Cole. Um, and Clouds was, was no exception. He went crazy from the moment he opened his mouth, his message to the beat, just production.

(05:34):
So I enjoyed the hell out of this song. Um, but as far as like the whole Port or St. Antonio, whatever the name that shit was, my only quarrel with it was like, what you did was admirable, right? Like you said, you know what, K.Dot is my brother. I don't want no smoke. I don't want no beef. I'm not in this shit. Um, but then to turn around and be like, if I had a guy in it, I, you could have kept that.

(06:03):
Okay. So I just want to clarify that was the whole thing with him and every, why everybody was upset with him is because he like got in and got out and then came back and said, if I had, it was never a question of his skill. It was just kind of like a loss of respect thing a little bit because of how it happened.
If somebody's questioning J. Cole skill, they're not listening to him rap. That's just my opinion. People can say what they want to say. I know people don't, they're not always a fan of him. That's cool. Cole can rap and he's a phenomenal storyteller. That's like one of my favorite types of rap is people like, I love the untundra's. I love the metaphors, but I love a good storyteller too.

(06:42):
Like that's one of the things that made me fall in love with Kendrick is a good story. Like sing about me. I'm dying of thirst. That song made me cry. Kendrick has had a song on almost every album. That's made me emotional, like physically like it may, it brought me to tears. Um, because of the storytelling and Cole also possesses that ability to just be a really good storyteller. And he, again, his, his rap, his flow was crazy. So I've been bumping the hell out of this song. Um, but yeah, I feel like that was a song.

(07:11):
Yeah. I feel like that was the same. I feel like my genuine thought on it is, excuse me, is that of many, is that like you bro, you could have just kept that. Like if, if you want it to be, you could have went in and said anything, right? You could have went in if you wanted to go in, but you decided not to.
And you decided that, you know, your friendship was worth more than that, which like I told you in a couple of other episodes before we talked about this before, I don't think them shots was necessarily aimed at Cole anyways. So like, I'm pretty sure Cole and Kendrick had a conversation like, bro, go ahead and fall out of this. This ain't got nothing to do with you. Um, so yeah.

(07:49):
Uh, but if y'all have not heard it, please listen to it. Cause my boy said, hold on now. Y'all can say I'm, I'm, I'm soft and you could say I'm, uh, uh, a dread head Buddha. You can say anything you want to, but y'all not finna say I can't rap. Cause he came in there and I'm talking.

(08:13):
Whew. Um, but yeah, okay. We needed to be done very much. So as a master, he, he, he did what needed to be done and he did extra credit. Um, the song is, is yeah, I was like, okay, Cole, this, this is what we needed. Um, but yeah, that's, that's, that's at all.
I'm listening at all. I love, if you don't rap rap, I love a good rapper. So like is, it was good to see him like step aside of the beef. That's what I liked a lot about, uh, G and X too. Like it was, it was a surprise album, but like Kendrick went back to the roots of his, of what he does, LA rap.

(08:56):
So like it didn't, and there was not one song in there that I can think of that had like any cold shots towards, uh, not cold, but Drake. Like it was a straight up album that he made with his, with his stuff. Um, I think he, I honestly think he was done after not like us now.

(09:17):
Drake, don't do it. Please, please. He said game over. He's one. Okay. The world knows he won't. Don't, cause I heard them little lines you had in your album. Sir, please. I actually, at this point, I don't want to talk about you anymore. That's one.

(09:38):
Two. This, it will not end any better than it already has. Are you like this? Worst case scenario keeps happening. Let it go. You lost. You lost. And quickly, quickly before I pass it over quickly, I just want to say something because I've seen a couple of different, uh,

(10:00):
TikToks also shout out to TikTok. Whoever started that Megan trend for that. I can be your, I from my lesbian heart. I want to thank you. Cause my God today. I just, I'm y'all. I'm such a creep. I put that shit in like 0.5 speed and just not 0.5 speed and just be sitting there. I beat y'all.

(10:27):
Love to see it. I see talking about ass. I forgot what I was on. Oh, specific ass to Megan's ass is what is different. It's different. She is perfect. Um, damn. I did forget what I was going to say. It was, it was a point that I was going to make about Drake. It was, it was something I was going to say.

(10:55):
It'll come back to me later. Um, it will. And what was I going to say? Thank you, Megan. You just took it right away from me. Um, what the hell word supposed to sound like? I did all like a thing.
I know you mean. Just wanted to get a whiff of the wind. Just, I can't actually say what I want to say. Um, but um. Understood. This is the same space. It's not. It's not. Oh, oh, okay. Now we're back. Um, quickly. Um, so I've seen a lot of people talk about like, oh, it wouldn't have been this serious.

(11:38):
If, if, if, if Drake had a one, are we talking about the same person? This nigga would have never let that go. We would, he would have been insufferable. When I tell you, we would not have heard the end of it.
The prime example is when y'all thought y'all had one and y'all were just egging Chris. Uh, what does it say? When y'all were just egging Kendrick on to drop when you thought you had one already.

(12:06):
Tell us. That's a prime example. What was all over the internet when that was happening. Drop, drop, drop, tell old boy to drop. He's scared. He's scared. Now he dropped. Now he dropped and you still on the ground.
He dropped, kicked your ass. It dropped.
You would have taken eight moves and you are still on the ground. Damn near a year later here. Kendrick little self. Charlie kicked that nigga in them tight ass pants.

(12:37):
Them pants was, they fit real nice. I'm just saying this era of Kendrick just made me look at Kendrick a little bit different than I had looked at him before. Kendrick has always been a cutie. Like, I don't know how y'all miss it. I mean, I wasn't looking at him like that, but he's always been super adorable. I've always thought he was attractive just from a general scope.

(12:58):
But yeah, that's all I'm saying about it. Been a little bit different in these music videos here in this go round and that performance was just, anyway, I'm going to stop being disrespectful.
It's all right. Listen, I have to stop myself with Megan because my God today.

(13:20):
It's like I ain't never seen. Fine. When you got it, you got it. When you got it, you got it. Right. That's all I wanted to say. Popped out, I showed everybody.
This week has been another good week. Another week trying to be a little bit more open to listening to people, not being so rigid with my time and my personal time.

(13:57):
So just being a little bit more open in that way. Like you said, work is work. Home is home. May I say one thing? You can call me boring. You can call me whatever you want.
I am so glad that I can sit here and say that home is home. And there's not a whole lot going on here because you know, you talk to people sometimes or even you just see stuff online, you'd be like, God damn, I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with some of this shit.

(14:26):
Like at all. So with that being said, I'll continue to be greedy with my time in that way because I don't want nobody bringing those shit to my front door that I don't have to deal with.
Yes, sir.
So yeah, I'm gonna leave that one there. But thank you, Jesus. When it comes to music, honestly. Okay, so who I was gonna say last week, his name was Gold, Goldford, but Hope reminded me she was like, bitch, I shot him out like a month ago. And listen, if you don't send them to me, I'm like, I don't be remembering.

(15:00):
I just you don't be sending them to me either. We literally will bring people up and then don't never talk about them again.
But again, this was just like a person that came up while I was playing or after my, he came up after my Beyonce playlist went off actually.
And I guess he's technically like in the genre of country. But listening to that album, it didn't sound like a country album. It just sounded like an R&B album to me. It sounded like a bluesy, kind of like a delish type.

(15:37):
Yeah, absolutely.
It definitely gives like a bluesy something or it don't give it doesn't give country. Yeah, it really doesn't.
And I appreciated that because I'm not. I've also talked about this with Hope I'm not a super big fan of like country music and some of the instrumentals.
Also, I don't I don't listen to music a lot of the times to feel shit. I listen to it to get away from feeling shit, which is why I listen to the type of music I listen to most of the time.

(16:10):
But that is an awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome album awesome voice. Voices 10 out of 10. Yes, he is a great. Another person I want to shout out that I've been listening to a lot this week is Coco Jones.
So, Coco Jones.
First of all, I see you was a great song.

(16:34):
I love that song. But I personally didn't like that song as much as I liked. Here we go.
Here we go is my shit. Like I love that song. But she just recently did a take on Britney Spears toxic, which I just love toxic in general. Like if you from our generation bitch.

(16:55):
You're a Britney fan. No matter who you are. Everybody loves Britney Spears. I don't care what you say.
Toxic was that girl back, back when she came out, and she did her own take of toxic, which is, in my opinion, 10 out of 10.
One because I love the song and two because I love Coco Jones. So there's that I just wish her like so much more continued visibility and and success.

(17:24):
And just keep being like greater.
Also, if y'all haven't seen Bel Air, the girl can act. She be acting her ass off. Like, I'm not I wasn't I wasn't even making fun of you.
I would understand you got to watch it though because they're layer. I was gonna say you shady. I wasn't I really wasn't I promise.

(17:45):
But they're layer. I'm just telling you like her as as good of a singer as she is and performer.
Her performance and acting is just as good like she's a Disney kid all around.
She she came after you know, I was a grown I ain't watched. Yeah.
But other than that, yeah, she is great TV. The funny thing is, for whatever reason, I went back and watched that.

(18:16):
WV versus escape TV show that was a literally friend literally had just finished watching the show the day before you sent me the song.
And I guess she had just dropped the song was that yesterday. It had to have been apparently because I don't know I don't listen for y'all drag me because I know some of y'all will drag me I truly don't give a fuck.

(18:41):
I don't listen to Chris Brown like that. I'm not gonna say I was not at Chris Brown fan at one point because I was but he's highly problematic.
And even if he is trying to like change his stuff, it I just I'm good on it. Now, I wish him the best if he's trying to do better. I do. I wish him the best. I'm not a hater.
Never gonna bring anybody down when they're trying to better themselves. But he's done enough for me for me to be like, no, I'm good.

(19:06):
But apparently this song is very popular people are making covers of it. And that's how I found this video of her. Go ahead, friend.
So I just want to explain like a couple of things.
If you follow them which, which I feel like the, the elder gaze like myself and even older kind of followed that, that whole scenario of what was going on.

(19:34):
But in the show, you could see the whole time that she like had her solo deal that was about to happen her gospel solo thing that was about to happen.
And the group was trying to get back together they were trying to do this tour with SWV.
But from what was from how it appeared on the show. She was being very difficult in making that whole situation happen like she didn't want to come to rehearsal.

(19:59):
And they were in meetings and talking about it she was very cold. They would ask her something she just like, I don't know.
Like she just didn't care about it. And the stuff they were saying they were like, the last time this guy had a solo deal, everything was all good until her solo deal came.
Then she started treating us like shit, kind of like she did in that show.

(20:20):
And then when her sister exposed her.
Everything about her from that point forward kind of just felt, nothing felt genuine, like nothing she said, nothing she did felt like real.
And even that song when I was listening to it, like it sounds good and the words she's saying is good.

(20:41):
She can sing down. You can't, can nobody ever take that from her ever, no matter what she does.
But even like looking at the video and just like mannerisms and stuff and I'm like, okay, girl, whatever.
Like, I don't know. I'm also somewhat cold myself and probably not forgiving of a lot of things.

(21:02):
So I feel like I would just hear that and be like, girl, get the fuck out my face. I've been trying to talk to you for years.
But that's just my opinion.
That's my whole thing on it, friend, not to interrupt, but like literally, why did you just send this to your sister?
Why didn't you just call your sister? Like, what was the point of this? Thank you.

(21:23):
Other than clout. Right. I don't understand why you did this. I mean, maybe, maybe it's some artistic shit. I don't know.
Maybe that's how you express yourself. I'm going to try to give you the benefit of the doubt here.
But there's the timing. Like some of this stuff she's saying, she's saying two years in the song,
but some of the stuff we saw playing out on lives in real time, in real time, like last year, I want to say, if I'm not mistaken.

(21:47):
So it don't it sounded to me like, okay, everything else that fell apart, I need y'all back now.
So that's that's what is given to me. But I'm with you when you write for it. Who are me?
I just wanted to bring that up because I thought the time was funny.
Like how I watched this show and then this song come out like the next day. But yeah.

(22:12):
But that's been a that's been my week. It's been pretty good.
Ain't really been a whole lot of a lot of TV or nothing else, but it's been pretty good.
Listen, I feel you on that when you said it was like when home is because that's what I'm gonna tell you.
Home is home. I'm not going to give you guys too much of my home life. I don't already said that.
I am very protective of my family. I'm very protective of my friends, but even more of my family.

(22:38):
Like I certain reindeer games I'm not going to play with y'all as you should be.
And that just is what it is. But like the fact that like Eddie said, I enjoy it.
I like being boring. Don't get me wrong. I like stepping out and having fun from time to time.
I miss my friends back home. You know, I'm trying to make new friends here.
I'm making some new friends at work, which is cool.

(22:59):
That's I mean, that's literally why I got a hybrid position because I was like I need to be around regular people again.
But like, girl, ain't nobody got time for half this shit y'all got going on.
It be so much.
You go on Facebook and let me tell LaKesha.
They put your whole name out there. LaKesha Raiden Jackson.

(23:21):
Bitch, I know he was over there sleeping with my man.
I know. But what he don't know is we used to fuck too.
So fuck all y'all. And you like.
You the stupid motherfucker that dropped her off over at the house and now they over there shooting because you over there trying to help.

(23:42):
No, friend.
Before I got off of Facebook, somebody that I knew that I worked with was literally on live.
Huh? You got back off of Facebook? I'm saying you got back off.
No.
I mean, I'm back off again from the last time I got off.
But that's why I got off.
Okay. Yeah, no, I was on it for a reason.

(24:07):
Once that reason was was satisfied.
That's fair. Girl, I got no reason to be over there.
One of the people that I worked with was literally like going live.
Trying to fight somebody like I was like, wait, what is going on?

(24:28):
Why are you doing this on live, girl? They go let you go.
You doing the most.
I just. Another thing.
Maybe we can talk about this on a future episode, but I used to be like super free on social media because I didn't really like think of the things where people that looked at your social media.

(24:50):
Once I started looking at a certain place.
And seeing how they operated, like how they would be literally in there in the office, looking at your social media and talking about the stuff that you were doing.
It kind of like I was in shock a little bit because I didn't.
Up to that point, I didn't realize that this was something that happened like your employees really do be looking at your social media.

(25:16):
They really are like. Judging you and the things that you do.
So keep keep that in mind to the younger people because y'all may not think it's that serious, but it really do be that serious, especially when you have a public profile.
So.
Lesson is that and it's not just Facebook. Now you got 18 other thousand platforms to find people on.

(25:39):
That's why I'll never put in the only thing that I think my name may actually be under is blue sky.
Yeah, I think that's the only and I don't be on there that I'm really debating deleting that.
I don't delete it. I'm really not on it that often.
I like I'm it's kind of just an app that's floating around like I'll get on there literally every once a week.

(26:02):
And when I post stuff, it gets interactions like I get it. I get interacted with. But it's just like I.
It ain't I just miss old school Twitter. It's not it's good, but it is not old school Twitter and in that demon and fuck Twitter up and it's not savageable anymore.
So like and also.

(26:25):
I'm a dark entity. Y'all feel free to judge me. I don't care. The porn isn't the same on blue sky.
It's not. It's very weirdly aggressive.
We'll see. I don't know nothing about that.
I see a lot more.

(26:46):
Lighter skinned pornography on blue sky than I did on Twitter. I believe that because a lot of you Negroes, the people are going to follow you wherever you go.
Come to blue sky. They're going to come over to blue sky with you.
All you got to do is post. Hey, I'm going to blue sky.

(27:07):
And take your ass to blue sky.
They already got that following. They not already got following.
You can bring all them people with you, but you know why they didn't go anywhere? Because your ass is still over there in the fucking upside down.
Yeah, other than that, that white girl who threw a coochie on my face that one time.
That made me so mad.

(27:33):
It was very much. It gave me a mouth.
It was just right there. It's like, oh my God, cooch. Oh my God.
And I love it. Love it. Okay. Connoisseur, if you will.
I don't. I don't want that.

(27:55):
But the stuff I'd be seeing, it just like it'd be on like my regular black sky feed. I just open it up and it's a butthole right in my face. I'm like.
Let me tell you what I did. First of all, I don't type in black sky no more because y'all have to separate that because we just want to find black people to be on the feed.

(28:17):
But when you type in black sky, all the shit pops up at once.
And I like to keep like my feed clean because if I open it in a public place, I don't want to like, you know, oh my God, I'm sorry.
I don't want to have to be up against the wall when I open my open my blue sky.
You get what I'm saying? You had to with Twitter. You definitely had to a Twitter.

(28:41):
Definitely had somebody send you some Twitter. You have to text them back before you open it up.
Is this safe with family? Yes. What is this?
What? Yeah, I got a print. What is going on?
You know, oh my God. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Right. I'm at church.
And pastor, that sound like two men fucking.

(29:07):
That's how you know, they was playing his recording.
Anyway, when.
Until your husband to stop looking at my husband from.
Oh my God. That's all.
That's all. Boy, a read.

(29:28):
Okay, let's go ahead and get into the top shelf there.
Okay.
Start us off with that one.
First of all, I don't know the entire back story to know who this white woman is.
I've seen she's on one of those like

(29:52):
right wing news stations that aren't really news stations, you know,
like the one that that man that got sued for everything.
Yeah, she's on one of those type of like networks that aren't really networks.
They're just there to spread propaganda. They're not, you know, misinformation, disinformation, just just disinformation galore.

(30:15):
Do not even I don't even play them games anymore.
Like, you know, no, girl, I don't. Yeah. But I tell you what, I was ready to if I hadn't got this story today, I would have been done.
Look this up and had this ready for a top show.
I just want to talk about what Dunn-Lemmon said because that that's how you I bet she won't say his name, not name of the time ever again.

(30:38):
And clearly it's something along that effect that's pissing her off. Right.
Because why are you attacking this man? Because he didn't in the video.
I think it was the one you sent me. He showed like a side by side of like all the times you never mentioned his name.
Sis, it sounds like there's things in your closet that you need to get together.
Maybe some people you need to take out.

(31:02):
Maybe you may because your husband talk about Dunn-Lemmon all the time.
I'm just saying there's some things in that closet that needs to come out.
Because him saying, first of all, first of all, the clear was literally sidebar.
I feel like this also had something to do like this somewhere.

(31:25):
The anchors been going at it for that.
I've noticed that this week anyways because they recently got rid of Joanne Reed from MSNBC.
They doing some real sketchy shit there and I've just been like keeping some things out.
But I didn't know this was like a whole thing going on over here.

(31:46):
But whoever Megyn Kelly is, my good sis, no one warned you about the snapback of a gay man.
Somebody should have warned you.
Your husband should have warned you.
Oh, my bad. Allegedly.

(32:08):
He said, he said, and tell your husband to stop looking at my husband.
Friend, tell your husband to stop looking at my husband from across the room because it's weird.
He's watching him.

(32:29):
What do you even say to that? I bet you she won't say, Don, let me name it ever again.
Ever.
You know what? They're bold, though, friend. She probably will.
She probably will.
And I hope she does because he's going to clock her T because if her husband is doing some weird shit,
which I mean, ain't that weird?
You gay, right? You're gay, sir.

(32:51):
You're fucking gay or bisexual or bisexual at least.
And that's OK. Or pansexual or whatever. However you are in that skill of rainbows.
But because you all are such religious nutcases and you can't be yourself, you do weird, creepy shit.
But here's the thing, because we already saw that when Grindr blew y'all asses off.

(33:14):
I was just about to say we see that every time there's a Republican convention of any kind
and Grindr has to turn on extra servers because y'all shut the fuck down every time.
That's crazy.
Grindr said, we've never.
We've never had traffic like this.
Never had traffic like this.
Listen, the tail is in the tail, literally. There's something in the tail.

(33:37):
Somebody's tail is getting...
Something is in somebody's tail.
According to Grindr.
There's a tail.
There's some tailgating going on around there.
Yeah, tailgating. There's something going on.

(34:00):
Dunlemon, in a professional gay man, basically said, bitch, don't make me air this bitch out.
Because bitch, I will air this hoe out and I will hurt your feelings.
And my husband may know something about your husband.
Because gays love receipts. Do you want receipts?

(34:21):
Don't do it, sis.
Don't do it. Go ahead and lay down. You lost.
You lost. Take it from your other white sister Drake. You lost.
Y'all got to know how to lose. You got to know how to lose.
I'm not a receipt-keeping gay.
Now, see, I'm a gay woman, but I am a receipt-keeping gay.

(34:42):
You would think I was a gay man.
Here's the thing about my exes and why they don't play with me,
especially the ones that play straight girl or whatever.
Or you might have been curious.
If you ever come across and say some stupid shit, just know I don't delete text messages, bitch.
If I scroll through my phone right now, half my data and memory is going to be text messages.

(35:04):
That's a dumb game play.
That's crazy.
My iCloud is lit up. Don't do it.
Bitch, I got shit from 2012.
And do? I would never.
Absolutely not.
I'm pulling up that picture of your butthole that you sent me from 2013 when you put your whole cooch in my phone.

(35:29):
Do not play with me.
But you know what? I'm also, I'm not that petty anymore.
I truly don't give a fuck.
People think I'd be upset with them and I don't.
It is people right now who think I'll have beef with them.
And I'm like, baby, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to do whatever I'm going to do next.
You haven't been a thought in my mind and God knows how long.

(35:52):
And it's crazy.
Right. It's crazy how like soon you can forget somebody in somebody's name.
That is insane to me.
And the reason I say I'm not like a receipt keeper, because I don't be wanting to see stuff with people I've dealt with, especially if it didn't end good.
Like, I will delete your contact, block the number.

(36:19):
That way I can't remember what the number was and you can't contact me.
Does that make any sense?
So that way I can't double back and unblock your number because I don't remember what it was in the first place now.
So, yeah, I don't want to talk to you ever again.
It's really that sensual.
Yeah.
So the pictures I got of you, baby, it's safe.

(36:42):
They gone.
And it probably wasn't even no beef.
A lot of the beef people think they be having this one sided.
You know what I'm saying?
This ain't no real beef.
Zebra meat at best, but not no real beef.
I'm going to start saying that for the rest of my life.

(37:05):
For the rest of my life.
And if y'all still don't get it, y'all got to find the zebra meat man on TikTok.
All I'm saying is I would try to zebra meat.
Hope won't.
But she said it's not beef zebra meat at best.
Bitch.
I'm just saying.
I'm using that for the rest of my life.

(37:28):
This ain't beef, bitch.
This is emu.
I'm going to use every animal.
Penguin.
Girl, this bird don't even fly, bitch.
This is not beef.
This is ostrich.
Go play where it's safe.
What are we doing?
Please.
But yeah, for Meg and Kelly, absolutely go play where it's safe.

(37:51):
Because you was about to get your world turned upside down real fast.
You probably already did.
You probably went and looked through your husband's computer.
You opened his Macbook and cried.
What's that gay dude?
See, I shouldn't even know these people names, y'all.
But whoever that Cody dude is, every time I see white porn, I see that Cody dude's name.

(38:12):
I think that's a studio.
I don't think that's an actual person.
Yeah, yeah.
This is a studio name.
Yeah.
You opened it up and you seen that.
Oh, friend, you went way back.
I don't even think they make stuff no more.
Listen, friend, I'll be watching everything.
I'm freaking out.
I'll be watching everything.

(38:33):
Wow, you really did go play.
Cody Blue or Blue Cody, Cody, something like that.
Yup.
But yeah, you went in there.
That was like white man mecha porn.
You went in there and just, I don't know what their version of Yes King is.
Come on, Brody.

(38:56):
Yeah, definitely, bro, and aggressive.
Yeah, I could do without.
Next, this has been the funniest shit.
And Atticus said he knows more of the backstory on this, so I'm going to let him take this part.
Potentially.

(39:17):
But why Soulja Boy and Marlon Waynes is beefing, I don't know, but it's hilarious to me.
And he picked the worst Waynes brother to be with.
For a child, I would not.
Let me tell you the people I would not ever beef with in this world.
Actually, I'm not going to be with nobody on mine.

(39:38):
I'm not going to do that ever because what did, what's McCall it say?
When you pick fights with people, be careful when you pick fights with people.
She said that she may not have taken her own advice, but she said it.
And I'm going to listen to that because I've seen a bunch of people pick fights with people they should not have.

(39:59):
And it backfired tremendously.
So I don't know why they're fighting, but the people I would never beef with, number one on this list is 50 Cent.
I'm not ever.
I would not ever in my life beef with this nigga.
Actually, would probably be hesitant to even talk to him actually in real life.
And the off chance that the motherfucker might get mad at me and just decide to ruin the rest of my life.

(40:25):
After he did recently, I.
It was kind of gross.
Any comedian, period.
Any comedian, especially one I know funny as fuck, Cat Williams.
Absolutely not.
I'm deleting all of my social media, deleting everything.

(40:46):
Matter of fact, at that point, I'll just be in a producer role on the podcast that will get somebody else to fill in for me.
I'm not going to be.
We got to get it off at that point because I'm not doing it with nobody else.
I would disappear from life at that point.
Friend, you would never have to worry about that because I can hang.
There's a few that I wouldn't go with, but I can hang.
We don't need to hang with no with none of them.

(41:09):
The reason I say that is because the motherfuckers is relentless.
I'm like, damn, I'm tired.
Let it go.
Only person I would never try is Tia Kemp, just because her wordplay is absolutely insane.
It is crazy.
It is crazy.
Yeah, no, not doing it or Tia's medicine because I don't let me tell you this.

(41:30):
I love Maddie too much for that.
I don't see Tia's medicine go after people like you don't see her beef and actively a lot.
But when she does it, my God, today is she trying to make you jump off a building.
Now, bitch, that is beef.
Hers is Angus.
Do you hear me?
Angus straight from the state of Texas.
That's Wagyu.
Is that how you say it?

(41:51):
Wagyu.
Wagyu prime beef.
The thing is Maddie ain't going to start it, but Maddie going to finish it.
Every time, every single time.
But that is absolutely one I will never start with.
I don't know why they're beefing.
But if y'all have not heard the Marlon Wayne song for Soulja Boy, please, please, please, if you want a good laugh, you're going to laugh until your fucking head hurt.

(42:17):
Please go watch it.
You will have a great night's sleep afterwards.
I promise.
Please.
Please.
He said he could smell crack on his breath.
So many, so Wayne, listen, Marlon is to me at least.
Marlon and Damon were the funniest Waynes.

(42:40):
Shout out to Kenan and Sean and Kim.
I love Kim down too.
Yeah, she was funny as fuck.
And then they got a niece.
What's her name?
I think it's Shantel.
She funny as hell.
All of them look alike, literally.
They do.
Y'all just all carbon copies of each other.
Y'all got strong ass genetics.
They fine, Lord.
All of them.

(43:01):
Shout out to all of them.
But what I tell you, you picked the worst one.
This nigga still do stand up comedy.
Why would you come out tomorrow?
And that song is the funniest shit.
Yes.
First of all, is this AI?
How did?
I don't know.
Did you literally hire a country singer to sing this fucking song for you?

(43:24):
Or is this all AI?
Either way, my God today.
And when I came across it, I was like, Marlon Waynes and Soulja Boy beefing.
How did this even happen?
This seems like the oddest thing to ever happen.
What happened though?
Did you find out how this started or?

(43:45):
No, I didn't look into that.
The part I had a little bit more information on was the tour.
It wasn't about this part.
What tour?
Anita.
Oh, child.
What happened with Aubrey and his tour?
Okay.

(44:06):
So everybody knows that the tour got canceled now or postponed indefinitely.
So you will, of course, have people come out online and say that that was because of low ticket sales, which it very well could have been because I don't know what that looked like.
But what's the girl that's on?
I think she's on the Breakfast Club.

(44:29):
Just hilarious.
Her?
No, not her.
The other new girl.
I know you're talking about.
Yeah.
She was saying that she'd spoken with someone on the team and she's she's been very reliable and like her like her sources of information.
And what she was saying was there was some type of logistical thing that happened later, happened in the later parts of the tour dates, where it would have caused them to like be somewhere for an extended period of time, like 10 or 12 days or something, without performing.

(45:06):
And the way she explained it, like, you know, that's a lot of overhead, you've got all your people that you still got to pay for, for all this time that y'all ain't making no money at all. So it didn't make sense.
But the thing that struck out to me was like, if that's the case, then why not just cancel like those specific dates later in the tour and continue with the rest of it.

(45:28):
So that gives a little bit more credence to the fact that maybe ticket sales weren't what they expected to be.
There's also, I don't know if you've seen this, the, it looks like he done filed some more stuff about how UMG did him wrong.
And hold on, how they even further perpetuated this slander by having it performed at the Super Bowl.

(45:54):
So he really ain't stopping.
He ain't stopping. I'm like, he going all in on this. He gonna go into this until it ain't nothing left.
I'm like, okay, you stick with it, brother. You fight for what you believe in.
And this is, this is old money. UMG is like one of the first. UMG, Sony, hell, I think, is, because what is, is Capitol records under either one of them? I can't remember.

(46:18):
But I know like those three have been around for at least like dead ass like a hundred years, if not longer.
I literally think that those are the only three, if I'm not mistaken, of the like actual big music companies.
And I think they literally own every other like record label.
They literally all the other major ones you hear like like Interscope and all. They're under UMG and all of them.

(46:44):
So like, bro, you are, you're going against a beast. We're talking conglomerate. You're going against a giant.
And again, like I said earlier, I've seen the TikToks of people being like, okay, Kendrick's just being mean now. Kendrick hadn't done anything else.

(47:08):
He hadn't done anything to anybody.
And then, like I said, we talked about it last week about like how the timeline actually happened and how Drake was literally a bitch about the whole situation.
And it was the one he was the one who actually started it because it was a friendly fade.
It was just rappers sparring, talking shit. That's what they do. That's what they've always done.
And you took it and then you start talking all out your neck and ass. Okay.

(47:32):
This man let this shit ride for years. Y'all been taking like little subtle jabs at each other.
And then you know, if finally he was fed the fuck up and came at your neck.
But I say all that to say like, y'all, I saw those those TikToks and people, you know, this is too much now.
And Drake would never do this again.

(47:53):
I just know we can't be talking about the same person because the way he would have never shut the fuck up.
He would have called Kendrick all kind of slaves and kenta kutas and people don't want to hear.
He already said he rap like he's trying to free the slaves to this day.
Drake, what does that mean? Kendrick raps like he's trying to free the slaves.

(48:15):
You rap like an original Negro.
What does that mean? It means.
Right. Right. Like, bro, you're Canadian. You probably shouldn't say that.
You're biracial and you was raised by your white mama. You probably shouldn't say that.

(48:40):
So, yeah, I just I don't want to hear you all say that stupid shit no more because the way we never, ever.
He would have been insufferable. We never would have heard the end of that shit.
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever. I just.
And like I said, Kendrick could have did worse because I just know Kendrick actually knows something why he won't quit smoke to his name.

(49:04):
And then what about the people that's in Drake's camp threatening to kill Kendrick? Ain't nobody said nothing about that.
Nobody will. So like, bro, chill the fuck out.
Yeah, that I think that's the Dunlemon thing. Again, shout out to Joanne Reed.
I hope somebody picks her up or I hope she's got enough of a following to where she can still continue to tell the news like this whole.

(49:28):
And we've been a bleep these mofos names out because we don't say them here, but this whole in this bullshit they're pulling in this
D.I. shit that they're pulling and getting rid of people who are more than like worthy and more than capable, even more so than some of their other people.
Replacing them with people who aren't as qualified, not even nearly just not even close.

(49:53):
It's like not even remotely close. So it's just like they still have their platform and they still are educating people.
Shout out to Jasmine Crockett. Always my fellow ALC up there in Dallas telling people to go fuck off. Love that.
I'm going to need you all to be a bit bolder, though, because like they just doing shit and I need you all to you all represent us.

(50:19):
You know what I'm saying? So like grow a pair and figure some shit out.
Let's not make us not all the Republicans are Trump Republicans. So I am very sure you all can come together to start nipping some shit in the bud.
The only reason I'm a fight on that, I don't think that there is a difference between Trump Republicans and regular Republicans anymore,

(50:42):
because whenever they vote on something now, it seems like there's no opposition and all of the Republicans are voting in favor.
So I don't know what's happening there. I would love to think that all of you all aren't.
But apparently, if you're not, you're scared to stick out. And that's what I guess I sort of get it.
But I don't know. You got to be you got to stick out because this is a little bit more pressing than anything else that's happened so far.

(51:10):
So like stick out, be you know, because a lot of this just comes down to this whole, you know, pull yourself up by the boots and all this other bullshit.
And it's so many other moving pieces that I think we ended up doing away with the or maybe it's still on the docket somewhere.

(51:34):
I don't know. The American dream episode, because like how that is not even remotely close to being a real thing,
especially if you're a minority or other in any kind of way.
But even now, middle class white people don't have that same accessibility anymore because of the millionaires and billionaires who are sucking the economy dry.

(51:57):
So like. And can you think that it somehow benefits you, which is crazy?
Like people tell people to go read, but apparently all can't.
People love to be dumb. But ignorance is bliss until being bliss is pure ignorance.

(52:20):
Like, like, yeah, delusional is OK, but then you got to come back to reality sometimes like girl shit's not great.
It's not. And I love to live in my delusion. I don't even have to come up out of mine.
To be here, so so we need to fix something so I can go back to living in my delusion again, because it's not safe to be in delusion right now.

(52:44):
It's really nice. It's really nice being delusion. And next thing you know, you're in jail.
What the fuck am I? You're gay bitch. What?
Y'all criminalize that again. Right. Like what kind of world we live in.
It's not even safe to live in your own fairy tale anymore.
I can't even live in my own head peacefully no more because of the shit that's actually happening in real life.

(53:07):
It's so it's not fucking it's still fuck all of you people. Actually, I hate you.
What up with every fiber of my being?
Big deal. But you know, child, we've been yapping for like a whole hour.
We're yapping. So we are indeed. Yeah, we're old yappers, but we're yappers nonetheless.
That is true. So let's let's get into this topic.

(53:31):
I don't think we're going to have a lot of time left afterwards.
But let's get into the main topic of today, which is breaking generational curses.
Generational traumas are curses.
So when when you say a generational curse for me, what that means is like a repeated.

(53:56):
A pattern of repeated behavior that isn't that isn't productive, that may actually be destructive to you as a person or your family as a whole.
What does that mean exactly to you?
Yeah, so mine is very similar.
I look at it as something that.

(54:19):
I have this quote that I created a while back ago and I love it.
And it's something I say all the time and I say history doesn't repeat itself.
Behavior does. When I think about generational curses or generational trauma, I think about that statement.
I think about it simply because a lot of this stuff is learned behaviors and we just have accepted it.

(54:43):
And then we just don't ever do anything about it.
And then it just continues to trickle down.
You know, you see, you know, well, my grandmother did it.
My mother did it. Now I'm doing it.
And then you even if you don't like it, you're still inadvertently passing it over to your kids because there's parts of you that just do it because that's what you do versus saying, OK, you know what?

(55:06):
This is going to be difficult. I'm not going to like how this makes me feel and just not do it.
So that's that's what I think of when I think of like generational curses as the old folk call it say, you know, or old folk call it and say, but by modern terms, I just call it generational trauma because it's just like passing down things that don't benefit you or, you know, they hinder your growth in some way.

(55:33):
Exactly. And I kind of want to applaud you because you you are one of the few people I know that like soft parent.
And the the excuse you get for people from people that do still work together, I'm not saying it's terrible to work your kids or not.
Whatever you choose to do is whatever you choose to do.
But you're one of the few that I know that choose not to work your kids.

(55:57):
So explained why I was like, OK, this makes perfect sense. You don't have to whip your kids just because you got your ass beat every other Sunday for being a terrible little human being like most kids are.
Kids are actually fucking terrible demonic ass little gremlin creatures that run around that have to be taught how to be good people.

(56:20):
But I do think it's another way, especially by watching you to teach them how to be good people without like putting your hands on them.
But a lot of stuff that we see is like the only reason for it still existing is, will it happen to me?
Look how I turned out. I turned out fine. This was they beat my ass all the time.

(56:43):
I don't think it turned out fine. Look at.
I mean, you're not. You're OK. You're still here, but you need a hug.
Are you OK? And here's the biggest part of that for how much did it actually stop you from doing a lot?
I see that's the thing. I think it comes down to the person.

(57:05):
So one of the reasons that I and I guess, you know, everybody nowadays call it soft parenting.
But I guess for me, it's just like I because I fuss at my child and I get upset with my child. I'm a human.
I have emotions. But. It's something about whooping a child.
First of all, if anybody need they had not between a washer is adults.

(57:29):
Adults do know better. Yeah, a child is is is is I don't think children are bad.
Well, I knew that. But I also look at like their surroundings, their settings.
Why is this child acting this way?
Are you taking the proper time out to care for your child as another human being?

(57:50):
I think one of the biggest issues is that people who should not be parents are parents.
Girl. And I know that's going to bother some people and may offend some people.
And I promise you, I'm not saying this from an ugly place.
I'm saying this from an honest place, because when I had my daughter, I was not ready to be a parent.
I was very young. I found I was pregnant when I was 16. I had her when I was 17.

(58:14):
My child is grown. Like, it's funny when I talk to people and they're like, oh, girl, I thought she was in your early 30s.
You got a grown child. Yeah, my baby is 19. My baby will be 20 in a couple of months.
So I was raised alongside with my child.
But the thing is, children are constantly developing and learning and understanding.

(58:36):
This is the time to mold and shape.
So like you can explain things better to a child at this point.
Some children, yeah, they may require a little bit more attention.
You know, they may be more hyperactive.
They may be find something that works better for them versus putting your hands on them.

(58:57):
And I say that because it's something about whooping that just seems slavish to me.
Like, it's like, OK, you won't do what I want you to do.
So now I'm going to like let me put it in this because normally when I say this, this kind of triggers people.
But this is what it is. So it's basically saying I'm going to hurt you if you don't do what I told you to do.
People don't like hearing it that way. But that's exactly what it is.

(59:21):
Like I'm going to hurt you for not doing what I told you to do versus I'm going to teach you why you shouldn't have done what you did and why this is the correct way to do it.
And then reprimanding them. And the thing is, excuse me, a lot of these younger people, especially from my daughter's generation and up, they're what you call iPad kids and.

(59:47):
Kids of the technological era. So you can take phones away. You can take that's going to hurt them way more being isolated.
They can fall, slap the hill out like a vampire in the sunlight.
Versus putting your hands on them. It's just something that's very violent about it that for me, I just I can't get off into.

(01:00:08):
Luckily, my mom didn't like whoop us like that. Now, she did not shit out of me a couple of times.
But that's another start. Like I had got bold. Like I was big and I was like, girl, if you jump at me, I'm a jump on you.
And I did. I tried her and she quickly put that ancestral strength behind you.
It's something about adult strength that hits different. I don't know what it is.
It's like. And now at my age, I understand because it's like I don't been through too much shit for you to try me like that.

(01:00:34):
I will actually fuck you up. I will forget you mine for just a second and put you through this goddamn wall.
But yeah, it is something about it that it's just like.
Pull yourself out and understand that you're teaching another human being something that is important.

(01:00:56):
And yeah, you can you can you can maneuver better that way.
You feel better about yourself when you know you didn't just like I got to knock you out for you to understand something.
I mean, even the same thing applies when you see abusive relationships.
Look at look at how abusive relationships typically work, especially like these older ones like, oh, the woman didn't do what I told her to do.

(01:01:19):
So now I'm a beat your ass. So you understand what it's the same.
It's the same thing. It's in your woman, someone who's defenseless.
That's what makes it worse. A child is defenseless. Like you put your hands on another adult.
You put your hands on him a couple of times. He might knock your ass back out.
You know what I'm saying? And I may have to whoop Ike's ass for him to understand that this wasn't a game no more.

(01:01:41):
So like that's me on the soft parenting thing, but like.
Completely emasculating him. Actually whooped his ass then took his last name in the divorce.
Love that for her.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Anime does my husband does my last name.
Love that for her. Love that for her.

(01:02:03):
I think I had hatred in his heart for the rest of his days.
But going on a little bit further about the subject,
I also think that thinking of this in a different way helps you have
a little bit more grace for certain people in certain circumstances.

(01:02:25):
Like you mentioned earlier,
the pull yourself up by the bootstrap thing.
That's a saying that irritates the fuck out of me,
just because I know where I came from.
While I feel like I had great parents,
and I was lucky to be in the circumstance that I was in as a child,

(01:02:47):
I also got to witness a lot of people who were not in that situation.
When you talk about families who are impoverished,
people who have lived in the projects,
and this is generations of people I'm talking about that have lived in the projects.
They great-grandmama, they grandmama,

(01:03:08):
they mama live in the projects, now them.
What I believe this is, this is more of a belief cycle thing,
where you're thinking that there's nothing better,
because all you've seen is this thing.
There's nothing to even tell certain people that there's
something else out there for them that they can attain.

(01:03:30):
I honestly feel like some people feel like they can't attain certain things,
because they haven't seen it physically for anyone near them.
Then you also have outside sources to that.
This is my issue with that statement.
It's one thing to say that,

(01:03:50):
and this ties into the generational curses and trauma,
by how do I want to word this?
You have this piece of like,
this is all I know and I'll never be better than this.
But then you also have this other side of a certain group of people telling you that,

(01:04:17):
yeah, you're right. You'll never be better than this.
Do everything in their power to make sure that that's true.
Exactly. There's this double hand punch that you're getting.
They tell black people, you can be a rapper,
you can be a basketball player,
you can be a football player, some athlete.

(01:04:38):
But the moment that a black person becomes a politician,
we saw this in real time just a few months ago,
because there's not anybody on Redacted's campaign that is smarter than Kamala in any degree.
And they attacked her intelligence every single chance they got.
There is nobody on that side of the aisle that compares to that amount of intelligence and experience.

(01:05:03):
Not one person.
Not one. But we saw what they did.
We see anytime a black person tries to become a doctor or anything that requires any additional,
I'm not even going to say additional, just standard intelligence.

(01:05:24):
That person that goes above and beyond, they have to be questioned.
You're not good enough.
We look at this whole, we've just finished talking about the whole DEI thing.
These people are more than qualified.
They're more than capable, more so than the people that are in the positions now that you just recently gave it to.
But because they're black or because they're other or because they're...

(01:05:44):
This only means they had to work twice as hard as you.
So they're twice what you are because they had to work through so many hurdles and obstacles to get here.
So that's why I don't like that whole, you know, pull yourself up by the bootstrap and how it affects.

(01:06:05):
Because while I do believe a lot of black poverty is generational, there's so many moving parts to that.
So many moving parts.
And another thing I want to say is that I love to bring up the fact that on paper, it looks like you've had the same opportunities.

(01:06:29):
Tell them this is on paper.
Of course, you had the opportunity to go to school.
But what was your home life like when you got out?
What type of things did you have to deal with while you were in school because you are who you are and you were in the circumstances that you were in?

(01:06:49):
There's a lot of shit that makes that whole thing null and void.
Of course, we may have on paper had the exact same circumstances.
On paper.
Of course, I had the opportunity to go to school.
But this person didn't deal with what this person dealt with, both in school and out of school.

(01:07:14):
There's a whole, like you were saying, a whole lot of moving parts.
And environment, racism, favoritism, all of that shit plays a part into why somebody can't, may not succeed.
And without the mental fortitude or having somebody there to encourage you through all of that, which a lot of people don't have, especially when you're in bad and poverty situations.

(01:07:42):
What is going to make you a better person other than a miracle, other than you being the one out of 1000 people that ran into the specific person at a specific point in time that changed your life?
It's willpower.
And that is literally the topic of the conversation.
Breaking generational curses.

(01:08:03):
What you have to understand is, or breaking generational trauma.
The first thing that you have to understand is discipline and willpower.
You're also going to have to understand that when you start making certain strides and certain changes and unlearning things, the people who talk to you these things may not always fall in line with you.
You come into your own realization and you're saying, you know what, I don't want this to be my story.

(01:08:30):
People may not like that because, oh, you think you're better than me or you think this or that's going to come with it.
That's the thing, friend.
I feel like the very first step is you have to realize that something is wrong.
And I think the part with realizing something is wrong is you being around a whole bunch of people that also don't see a problem with what's happening.
I feel like that's the hardest thing to get out of until you do meet that person.

(01:08:55):
And you're like, you know what? Oh, shit.
It really doesn't have to be like this.
I actually have the power to change some of this.
Then I can start working on what I need to work on.
Yeah. I think it's the point to where you have to remind yourself.
I see other people do it.

(01:09:15):
For me, it was certain people in school.
I think that was the first time because I grew up in the hood both ways.
We got late view on one end and the bottom and the other.
Like literally one side of my family is on the east side, other side of my family is on the west side.
That's what I saw. That's all I saw.
So it comes to this place of like, OK, this is what I know.

(01:09:38):
This is what it is.
And then when I went to school, I saw other people who look like me, other black people.
I was like, oh, damn, they got nice clothes, nice shoes, nice this.
How are they? What is what is this?
And I think that was the first realization that I had even as a small child.
Like, oh, we're not all we're the same, but we're not the same.

(01:09:59):
So what is what's that thing that's different?
And also, you know, how something made you feel is a big thing, too.
Like, I'm not going to. I'm not going to say anything negative about anyone who raised me,
but my family was poor.

(01:10:20):
If you know my story personally, you know how poor I actually grew up.
Like, we grew up like real deal poor.
Like, like, not like I don't know where I'm going to lay my head tonight.
Are we going to sleep in a car or are we going to sleep outside?
Plenty, plenty of hungry nights.

(01:10:41):
And I know you can't tell now because I'm a behemoth whale, but trust me.
And shut your ass.
Yeah, that's that's what it was.
So and some of that has to do with my discipline issues now because I lack so much growing up now as an adult.
I can not tell myself no.
And then I don't know how to always not tell myself no when I need to.

(01:11:02):
But that's another conversation for another day.
But how something made you feel so like my daughter can't say she went through half the shit,
a third, a quarter of the stuff that I've been through, hell of a tenth, because I made sure she wouldn't.
And I just knew I didn't want her to feel how I felt growing up.

(01:11:27):
And I think that's another thing that you have to take into consideration when you're putting forth effort to change something
and change something significantly.
Why am I changing this?
Most likely because of something of how that thing made you feel.
You don't want to continue to feel this way or you don't want to ever feel this way again, or you don't want a loved one to feel this way.

(01:11:51):
You there's you you you come to the realization I can prevent this.
I don't want this.
One of the things that I think and I'm talking about like generational trauma and curses because we have an episode coming up.
In some months on epigenetics.
And when I found out about epigenetics and how it works, that ship blew my mind.

(01:12:15):
And it's such a cool topic.
And I have really been studying this because I really want to dive deep into it.
But I can kind of tap lightly into it now because a lot of this comes down to, again, things that made you feel a certain way and unlearning.
You know, you have a what is it nature versus nurture, you know, things that that you just are versus things that you've been taught.

(01:12:40):
And it's just like one of the hardest things I feel like is is the the nature of it all.
I'm sorry, not the nature, but the nurture of it all being taught certain things because something being in you, you can.
How do I want to word this, something in me clicked that I knew that I didn't care anymore.

(01:13:03):
People knew I was gay. Right.
I was like, it just is what it is.
On the nurture side of that is where it's like.
OK, but what about this? I don't want to really do public affection because of, you know, I was raised like this and I know how people see this.

(01:13:24):
So like unlearning things is is is probably the, in my opinion, the hardest part of breaking any generational trauma.
Because this is this is just what it is.
Even this is what we know it to be. Right.
Me, when we were having that conversation, going back to the pink toys again for boys and it was just like I and you were talking about it.

(01:13:47):
He said, you know, I don't think I would just just because of like and it's just how my mind is working.
Even though I know that this doesn't have anything to do with anything, the color pink is just the color pink.
Right. But in my head, because of how how we were raised and everything that we were up around, pink is a girl's color.

(01:14:08):
That's a feminine color. And boys don't play with pink. Right. Pink things.
And it's that unlearning.
It's that unlearning that unlearning is is the part that whoops your ass the most.
And I think one of the biggest generational traumas that black people face is mental illness and not just mental illness, but just like.

(01:14:37):
Trauma, I don't care what anybody says, all black people, especially if you're from the South, really anywhere in the damn United States, we suffer from some form of PTSD.
Friend. And my next question was actually going to be.
What do you think one of the biggest things that like one of the biggest generational curses black people deal with?

(01:15:01):
And it sounds like we both had the exact same answer.
Mine is mental illness. And you know, the next part.
When something's wrong, where do you go and what do you do?
Go ahead, friend.
You know, this episode might be a few minutes long.

(01:15:23):
You go to church and you pray.
I think that is like the biggest.
Honestly, and I know some people are super religious.
I ain't I feel like the church is one of the greatest negative forces in the black community that ever did exist only because it's a place.

(01:15:47):
Not it's supposed to be a place of hope and where you go to get the word and to feel better, which it works out that way for a lot of people.
It does. On the other hand.
Church is a place to to shame you.
Church is not necessarily and this is from like some of my own personal experience,

(01:16:09):
not necessarily a safe place for you to go to tell somebody you have a mental problems and they tell you you might actually need to go see a specialist.
They just don't tell you to give it to God.
Now, when you go and give it to God and you go home and hit somebody in the back of the head with a hammer,
all they're going to do is talk about you on Sunday and you're in the news.

(01:16:32):
That is all that's going to happen because you went and prayed it.
You prayed it away. You prayed that hammer into your hand and now somebody is no longer here because of what you did.
OK, we don't have this conversation tonight.
OK, so mental illness.

(01:16:54):
We don't tie it all in together, y'all.
Y'all know I am a yapper, so I'm going to try to keep it cute.
I have very mixed feelings on religion.
I'm not religious, I'm spiritual.
I. There are some Christian things that are attached to me.

(01:17:16):
I'll tell you about I love the story of Jesus.
It's his daddy. I didn't care too much for God in the Bible, which is not.
Great. A lot of the times, actually a bunch of times and even the Bible in general.
I just I'm sorry, y'all. Y'all can say what you want to.
And I know I'm a piss a lot of people off.

(01:17:37):
I just cannot even I'm not even going to play that game.
I'm not going to you're not going to tell me that people who have been people.
And people have motives and have always had motives.
And we see even the people who have motives today, these same people had motives back
then that wrote the Bible.
They didn't have you're just not going to me.
They didn't have motives and didn't have ill intent.

(01:17:58):
I we're we can get rid of that.
Didn't have the will to control.
Right. That's it's not going to fly here.
I think of church, all I think of is control, a control mechanism.
OK, so and then there's elements to that, too. Right.
So it who who who?

(01:18:19):
Something about the pray it away.
Bothers me spiritually.
And I'm not going to elaborate too much, but what I will say.
Is there's been this terminology brought up recently.
I've heard it a lot in like the last two years of spiritual psychosis.

(01:18:39):
If you are around truly hyper religious people,
you know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. And.
That's all I'm going to say.
That's all I'm going to say.
That's one of the things that I had to personally unlearn.
Mental health.

(01:19:02):
Mental health isn't demonic.
OK, you're not demonic because you suffer from depression.
You're not demonic because you suffer from anxiety.
You're not demonic because you suffer from bipolarism,
from multiple personality disorder, from schizophrenia.
You didn't do anything to deserve this. OK, we we we as a community
have to stop that.

(01:19:23):
Also, shunning people who decide to get mental health and to talk to other people.
I'll tell anybody and Atticus has said this before.
It's the reason he got into therapy because of how hard I advocate for it.
Therapy has saved my life.
I suffer from severe depression and anxiety.
Like my shit is not a game.
It has almost taken me out of here a few times.
And I'm talking about the brightest of days, having a great day.

(01:19:47):
And then shit just chipping at you. You ain't shit.
You ain't never going to be shit. People don't want to be around you.
Don't nobody like you.
Like this is things that I'm hearing in my mind.
And it's like, I know people loving care about me.
Depression will eat your ass up.
It's a sit there and say that, oh, this is a demonic entity.
This is me off to I'm talking.

(01:20:08):
My God today, OK, like makes me actually this really sick on the stomach.
Like it makes me want to punch somebody.
I think that's actually where the saying, you know, every time something bad happened,
they'd be like, that's the goddamn devil.
I'll be the first to say that the goddamn devil is like one of my favorite things to say

(01:20:30):
when something bad happens.
But I think that came from the church.
And it be us who be the devil.
Mm hmm.
It be us who be the devil.
OK, so I'm going to drop this this this bomb on y'all.
This is definitely only some mix.
I think even Atticus may have some mixed feelings about this.
I don't know what happens after death.

(01:20:50):
None of us do. Right.
But like, I genuinely don't know.
I don't think heaven and hell is a real thing.
I don't know if reincarnation is a real thing.
There's a part of me that just thinks once this is it,
we rest. That's it.
Our energy disperses back into the universe.
And that's it.
Curtains close, blackout done.

(01:21:14):
Here's where it gets technical for me.
I think that people created religion, afterlife, the theory thereof to cope with the fact
that if we don't fulfill our destinies while we're alive, then at least we have something to fall back on.
I've never said that out loud. That's always been a thought in my mind.

(01:21:36):
But sometimes I think about that like.
It just became this thing that we created.
And again, I agree with Atticus 100 percent.
It is also a very controlling.
And I'm talking not just Christianity, because I'm not just going to shit on Christianity.
All religions.
The control it is.

(01:21:56):
It is. I don't.
I don't think people were meant to be here to be controlled.
One of my favorite sayings is I hate the cost of living.
Like, I hate that friends.
What do you mean the cost?
I got to pay to be fucking a lot better than to ask them here.
Right. But y'all could have left me where I was at.
Right.
And it's just like.

(01:22:18):
All these rules put in place.
And how much do they actually benefit us?
I feel like the reason that people are suffering the way we're suffering nowadays is because everything that's being created today is going against the very grain of who we are as humans.
Like it is going against our humanity.

(01:22:39):
And that's why it feels uncomfortable and it feels unnatural because this isn't what it should be.
This isn't the way people.
I thought about this earlier too, and I was like, I was on my way home, too.
And I was like, I hate working five days a week just to get to the weekend or whatever days you have off.

(01:23:00):
And like, and then you have to do other adult things.
You rest if you can.
And then you do it all over again.
And then you're seventy five.
And then they say, OK, you have five years to do whatever, because you're probably going to die at eighty.
And then you die at seventy seven because you've also worked your entire life and you've won't be able to do it.
You've worked your entire life and you've worn your body down.

(01:23:22):
And it's just like.
This isn't this the way things are going, this is not fit for human condition.
Like, this isn't what it should be.
And that's that's another thing.
And that's not like a family generational curse.
I think that's just a thing with people in general that we have to as a society get away from because it's not benefiting us.

(01:23:46):
It's not benefiting our health.
It's not benefiting our soul.
You don't get up.
I don't know anybody who gets up and genuinely feels happy to exist in the world as it exists today under the standards in which it exists today.
The only people I feel like do that are.

(01:24:07):
And not even all of them.
The rich ones.
I think people that do that don't feel things like normal people.
Right.
Feel things.
I don't know the exact term for that is that the sociopath, the psychopath.
I think those people wake up happy because they don't feel anything for anybody or anything.

(01:24:29):
But I have a little bit of a very little bit from what you just said.
So.
I've never I've never felt like after it was over, it was just curtains.
And that's probably because even from like a little child.
This is going to sound so weird and I don't even know how to explain it in words.

(01:24:55):
But I feel temporary like me as I know me.
Am inside of a body that I don't necessarily belong to like it's.
It's here.
It's temporary.
But I'm here for whatever reason that I am here.

(01:25:17):
But when I'm done.
Something something else happens to the me that is actually me.
The body goes to sleep.
But my perception or my consciousness doesn't exactly and I don't know how to explain this
or why I like even feel this way.
But I don't feel like this is the end of.

(01:25:40):
Everything once it's over here.
I think this is like a temporary stop of places and I don't know, but it just might be like
a goddamn Mario game and we just keep going through different stages of.
Of like life after one ends and you not necessarily here on earth, but in different places.
I don't know how it works, but I don't necessarily feel like.

(01:26:03):
I am this the body or I am what you perceive me to be.
I just kind of feel like I'm a.
Like a being I know it sounds so weird.
So it doesn't how was to explain it, but I'm a spin off of that because so the only

(01:26:24):
thing that that that makes me think in your direction as well is deja vu's.
Something about a deja vu feels like it feels like I'm remembering something like.
People say it's a premonition or you're seeing something happen before or I've heard
people say it's like your brain tricking you because of somebody try to explain it.
Once I'm like, that doesn't even make sense.

(01:26:46):
I remember something this specific that hasn't happened yet, right?
Like I didn't even know what this TV show was.
How do I remember myself sitting here watching this?
So like I wonder if we do come back over and over again until we get it right.
Until we be whoever we're supposed to be.
That's one of my thoughts with reincarnation.

(01:27:09):
So.
If anything does exist, I don't think it's heaven or hell or like a resting place.
I don't know.
It could be.
I don't know.
But reincarnation is the one thing that I believe could exist.
Life is like a fucking stage of candy crushing if you don't get it right.
You just have to keep coming back until.

(01:27:31):
Until you get it.
And then you have the occasional people who jump in places they shouldn't be because I'll
never forget that story of that one little boy.
That's the one story that I was like, this shit is actually crazy where he was like,
he around four or five, he was having nightmares about being killed.
And his mom and dad was like, the stories were so specific that it was like, is our child

(01:27:59):
a psychopath?
Like, why does he know these things?
For real?
Like it was freaking the fuck out.
So they took him to a psychiatrist, therapist, they was doing everything they could with
a rich white power.
And then finally, they was like, I think the mom was the one that broke it.
She was like, OK, because he was saying that he got killed and he was buried in the woods.
And he said, I can show you where I'm buried in the woods.

(01:28:23):
And finally, his mom just gave him one day.
She couldn't take it anymore.
She was like, OK, show me where you're buried.
Fran, why did this baby?
I think at the time, so like a year or two had passed by, so he might have been maybe
six.
So he went from like four to six.
Why did his baby say, OK, go here, go here, go here?
His mom does.
It's a wood patch.
It's a wooded area.

(01:28:44):
And now she's freaking out a little bit.
So she called her husband and tells him and he's like, why would you do that?
You're just encouraging him and that.
She's like, maybe, maybe he's let's just hear him out.
Fran, this little boy was just walking him along.
He said, OK, just follow me.
He took him to a little area and then it looked weird.

(01:29:08):
And the dad was like, OK, y'all go back to the car.
This looks weird.
I'm just going to go back to the car.
This looks weird. I'm just going to I'm just going to look and see.
Fran, why that man dug up bones?
There was a dead body.
I got goosebumps right now from telling this story.
When I tell you that's the one story that blew my mind because they was like.

(01:29:32):
They was doing what rich white people do.
Got them therapy.
It's like, I drew, doing everything.
And that baby knew he was like, no, I was murdered.
I think it was in like the 80s, too.
He was like, I was murdered or maybe I don't know.
It was a while back.
He was like, I was murdered and I came back and this is this.
But like.

(01:29:53):
Ain't no child finna know no specifics, no go northeast, then go here, go there.
And they said as he got older, because I think now he's probably like a teenager.
He's got to be.
He doesn't remember any of it.
This is also another reason I believe in like a reincarnation because kids be seeing and

(01:30:17):
knowing shit, too.
Like, I feel like I had a lot more deja vu's and premonitions as a kid than as I did as an adult.
Fran.
Don't think I'm crazy.
I used to talk to my magnolia tree in my front yard.
Don't nobody believe me.
I used to talk to that tree.
It was a lady in that tree or it could have been a lady hung from that tree for him.

(01:30:44):
Now, why would you do this to me?
I know it's 10 o'clock at night.
I know it's morbid and I know it's dark.
I got to find this other story from this lady.
I think I told you about this story of the lady.
She was a scientist.
What do you call him?
A bottom?
That's the one that studies like trees and plants and stuff.
And she was talking about how her son wanted to go see this plantation.

(01:31:05):
And in one of the Carolinas, I think it was, she was like, absolutely not.
We Black, we don't go.
But he was like, I think you may enjoy it because of the trees.
Because I want to say it was South Carolina because one of them Carolinas, they're known
for those real big pretty trees that like, I forgot what they're called.
The ones with the stuff hanging down.
The moss hanging down?

(01:31:26):
Yes.
I know what you're talking about.
I don't know what they call them.
But, oh my God, it was on a podcast.
I'm going to find this podcast.
It's like science something.
But the name was like Trees Talk.
And she was talking about how trees recycle oxygen.
And they recycle oxygen for like 100, 200 years, something like that.

(01:31:50):
Something crazy.
So it was like, she came to this conclusion.
She said, whatever your ancestors last breath was is still cycling throughout this tree.
Friend blew my fucking mind.
I'm going to have to send that to you too.
And I do believe you, friend.

(01:32:12):
And that's what I'm saying.
I'm so torn with that.
But like the whole religion thing, I think, because I'm going to piss some people off too.
Again, because I probably am pissing people off already.
But like another thing that I think about with like the whole breaking out of generational
trauma, because of course, religion creates a lot of trauma.

(01:32:35):
A lot of trauma.
Because I'm never going to argue with somebody about me being born gay.
You can say I've been, well, you've been with men.
You can argue with your mama.
Sure.
I have been with men.
I just suck a couple of dicks.
I know that sounds crazy.
I know that sounds crazy.
I have lived my life.

(01:32:55):
I can 100% say though, that's how I know I'm gay.
Like I played straight.
I did that.
I was smoking a little crack.
I was sucking a little dick.
I literally have no problem.
Atticus knows this.
I'll say when a man is fine now.
If you're attractive, you're attractive.
And you know when somebody's attractive.

(01:33:16):
I can tell you 100,000 beautiful women.
There is no sexual attraction to any of them.
They're beautiful.
That is all they are to me.
Seeing some fine white women.
Okay.
If you, oh, this is going to be y'all really from the judgment.
Matter of fact, I ain't even say that.

(01:33:37):
I got to hear it now.
You got to text me.
You already know this.
You already know I don't dip in the other.
Oh.
So like, yeah, I have no problem with saying it.
I definitely dipped in the other.
After what happened in November, I don't see it ever happening again in my life.

(01:33:58):
I have before in the past two to be exact.
Actually three.
One was a white dude.
My very first kiss was a white dude.
So yeah, but like as I've gotten older and we've had this conversation before too, like I don't
have the mental capacity, especially with American whites, like, because you can be,

(01:34:19):
you can be with it.
You know what I'm saying?
But then it's always a family member or it's always this off moment or something.
And it's just like, I can't fight with that right now.
I just don't want to have to say it.
Y'all on fire.
I just, I don't, I don't even want to have to get to the point to where I feel like I have to come out of myself to do anything or get upset.

(01:34:44):
And it's something I love.
When I tell you I love black women, I love us so much.
I can't literally see my soulmate being anything other than a black woman.
Nobody on the face of this earth knows me better than me us.
I just, I adore black women and I adore black men.
But I mean, I'm talking sexually, spiritually, emotionally.
I adore black women with every single fiber in my body.

(01:35:08):
Now I would date other like POC, but like my soulmate, I just feel in my heart is a black woman.
But again, going back to the, because shall we be, we are yappers.
We are yappers.
But so much generational trauma is due to the church and due to religion.

(01:35:31):
I feel like that's one of the hardest things to unlearn in how that ties in with mental health.
Like Eddie just, he said it perfectly and it pisses me off so bad.
These aren't demons that you can pray away.
And we have to have that conversation.
And if that conversation isn't a real thing, then you have to do what's best for you and your loved ones.

(01:35:58):
I don't even argue with people when they say stuff like that anymore.
They be trying to prove their point.
I'm like, baby, you can keep it.
You're not, you're not budging me.
I'm grown and I have good sense now.
And I know, I know one plus one equals two.
I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid anymore.
Right.
And I'm not saying that y'all are terrible people.
Because a lot of you are there for the right reasons and doing, doing the Lord's work.

(01:36:24):
And a lot of them are good people.
A lot of them are really good people.
On that same token, I have met a lot of terrible, shitty, fucking Christian people.
Heathens.
Who use that whole thing.

(01:36:45):
As a scapegoat to be terrible.
Evil.
Evil. Yes.
They use it as a scapegoat to be terrible.
So yeah, you show you definitely ain't going to budge me.
And if you try, bitch, I'm going to block you.
Because you're probably one of those terrible ass people.
What old boy say?
And Kim, I ain't been like you in a long time anyway.

(01:37:07):
One of the messiest, meanest Christians I know.
God gave you that beautiful voice and you are the damn devil.
Every time I see you, you doing some terrible, terrible shit.
You saying some terrible shit.
You know the funny thing is, if heaven and hell is real, a lot of y'all Christians ain't

(01:37:29):
going to make it to heaven.
Y'all going to get stopped at the door.
I don't know how you think.
Clown door just going to open up and you just going to fall through that bitch.
You going to be sitting there riding that pole just like Lil Nas X down to the bottom.
Call me by my name.
Beelzebub.
Welcome to hell.

(01:37:49):
I've been waiting for you.
I'm just saying, I'm just saying that a lot of y'all, y'all ain't going to make it.
Y'all think y'all going to make it.

(01:38:10):
Y'all ain't going to make it.
I don't even know if they think that.
But they've been making me want to say terrible stuff too.
And I don't be wanting to disrespect people's religion.
But if there's anything that you call the devil, it's what I'm thinking of saying about
you and your Lord at this point in time.
If you don't get the fuck out of my face.
You can have it.
This child of church is a whole thing in itself.

(01:38:32):
You just have to do a whole episode on that.
We already went over our damn, went over the damn tie.
Well, we give ourselves an hour and 30 minutes over.
We're not too bad over like 10 minutes over.
But in conclusion for myself, when I think of generational curses and generational trauma,
I think it comes down to discipline.

(01:38:54):
I think it comes down to acknowledging, A, there's a problem.
Two, this problem is going to be a hard problem to deal with because I've seen so many people
do it.
But I know I don't want to see the same results that they have.
So I have to do something to actively pursue a different outcome.
And that's not easy.

(01:39:15):
That's not easy.
It's not fun.
And like I said, sometimes people won't root for you because you're doing something way
out of their norm.
But you have to remember you're here for you and their norm doesn't have to be your norm.
And if you want to do better, you have to make yourself do better.
I've broken a lot of generational curses and I'm in therapy now.

(01:39:37):
Continuing to be better than I was and what I've seen in the past so I can continue to put
forth good things into my daughter and to the people around me and just show people that I want
to grow and that I want to be a better person.

(01:40:01):
And that I'm not willing to settle.
I'm not going to settle.
There's things that I can't change and there's things that I can change.
So I'll sum it up there.
And the things that I can change, I want to put forth the active willpower to do so.
And I think that's what everyone has to do in order to break cycles and get out of something

(01:40:29):
and create something new.
Because that's the thing when you break something and you get out of that, you know, my
daughter, if she decides to have kids or not, if she does, she'll pass those teachings on.
She may pass the teachings on to other people, you know, that she knows.
The self-parenting and all that other stuff.

(01:40:53):
Yeah, I think it's just acknowledging there's a problem and wanting to actively fix it.
So that's it from me on it.
What about you, Fran?
I wholly agree with that.
Acknowledging the problem, I think, is the hardest part when you're stuck in a situation like
that.
But when you do finally acknowledge it and have the willpower to change it, I think it's going

(01:41:17):
to come with you needing to accept the fact that you might be somewhat ostracized or critiqued
for attempting to change.
And like you were saying earlier, people thinking that you are, that you're changing and that
you think you're better than them.
And it's not necessarily that you think you're better than them, but you are changing and

(01:41:38):
you realize that you're better than the situation.
And you're doing what you can to change the situation.
I would just kind of say you have to be okay with not being in contact with certain people
or not doing some of those same things that you liked to do before because you're trying

(01:42:00):
to be better than the situation at hand.
So that's pretty much all I got for that.
But they can and they will be broken as time goes on.
And I honestly believe the more we're exposed to everything, I think a lot of the things
that kept us locked into some generational curses is not being able to see a whole lot

(01:42:23):
of outside perspective.
But I think now with the internet around, there you can't really keep anybody from anything
that they want to see.
And even if you don't want to see it, but you're going to run into it at some point
in time.
At some point.
So I think there's a lot of as time goes on, it's going to get a lot better.
And we'll finally reach a point where it's not as big of a conversation.

(01:42:47):
It may take a few hundred years, but we don't get there.
Hundred years.
Bitch, we'll be lucky if we see it next year.
I know this.
Come save us.
Ciao.
God looking down right now.
Don't save her.
She don't want to be saved.
I do want to be saved.

(01:43:09):
Please save me.
Alright y'all.
If you're not going to save me, give me like a time frame.
So I can at least stop going to work.
So I can enjoy my damn life.
Yeah, just let me enjoy the last few days.
How long we got.
But okay y'all.
Thank y'all for listening to us again.

(01:43:31):
As always, come join us in the Discord.
And we will see y'all next time.
Until next time.
Peace.
Bye.