This week we talk about John Carter! The movie that didn’t have Jared Leto but so desperately wanted to (it would have sucked anyway). It seems like a copycat movie, but that’s an anachronistic take once we get into the nitty gritty, so let’s do it!
Yelling!
Giants, Deja, and Jeddaks join John on a Jihad, journeying to a juggernaut of jousting javelins, just so Johnny can jangle his jewel! Alien animal cruelty! Jumpin’ John’s abrupt abductions! Junk astronomy! Native American martians! White savior saving the savages? Baking out baby Barsoomians! Bald guys in disguise! The Jeddak of Helium? Bumbling and unbelievable worldbuilding! Roman soldiers with fur! Creatine beans, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!
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