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April 11, 2025 47 mins

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What does it really take to bounce back after you’ve fallen short, lost momentum, or doubted your worth?

In this powerful episode of #TheAuthenticLife, Keisha gets real about the messy, often unspoken truth of what it means to rebuild — emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. From recognizing the weight of what you've lost to creating rituals that anchor your healing, this episode walks you through the bounce back process step by step.

You’ll explore:

  • Why resilience isn’t random — it’s a routine
  • How to forgive yourself for what you didn’t know then
  • What it looks like to rebuild with alignment, not old expectations
  • And how your comeback story is connected to someone else’s breakthrough

This episode isn’t about quick fixes or pretty Instagram quotes — it’s about doing the internal work so your bounce back can be real, sustainable, and soul-led.

💛 Plus: Subscribers get access to an exclusive bonus episode this week.

Press play, take a breath, and reclaim your power — this is #TheBounceBackLife.

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This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, coaching, or therapy. Always seek the guidance of a qualified mental health or coaching professional for your specific needs.


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, it's your girl, keisha, and welcome to the
Authentic Life.
Each episode, I'll guide you onthe journey to living fully,
freely and unapologetically.
Together, we'll dive into realstories, practical insights and
steps you can take to embraceyour truth and show up as your
most authentic self.
So guess what?
I am glad that you are herewith me, let's get started.
Glad that you are here with me,let's get started.

(00:23):
Hello, hello, hello and welcomeback.
Welcome back to Hashtag, theAuthentic Life, the place where
we explore what it means to livefreely, to live fully and, most
importantly, to liveunapologetically as yourself.
I'm your girl, keisha, and youknow how we do.

(00:44):
It's real talk, it's real lifeand, hopefully, it's some real
transformation.
So if you're new here, welcometo the journey, and if you're a
returning listener, thank youfor walking this path with me
waiting for the next episode.
I know I've been MIA, but Ihave had many, many travels.
I've been to Japan, I've beento New Orleans, I've been to

(01:05):
Wilmington, I'm about to go toNashville.
I've been all over the placeand so it has taken away more
time than I expected, but I'mback.
So last time we talked abouthashtag, the self-sabotage life,
and that one hit deep for a lotof us.
I had a lot of people reach outto me about that the self-love,

(01:32):
the self-worth, all of thoseself hashtag, self-something
life.
I've had a lot of people reachback out to me about those and
I'm so appreciative of you alllistening, you all reaching out,
giving commentary, all thethings.
Well, this week we're going toturn the page and I'm ready to
get to a place of talking aboutresilience, talking about
strategy, talking about healingin what I'm calling hashtag, the

(01:53):
bounce back life.
See, my birthday was a coupleof weeks ago, not even a couple
of weeks ago, it was last week.
It's, depending on when you'relistening to this, april 3rd to
be exact.
Hashtag the 45 life.
Depending on when you'relistening to this, april 3rd to
be exact.
Hashtag the 45 life.
And I just turned 45.
And in thinking about all of theepisodes that I've done thus
far and really reflecting whileI'm recording them, reflecting

(02:15):
after I've listened to them, asI was embracing my trip in Japan
and my trip in New Orleans andall the things that I was doing,
and then coming up on turning45 this year, I really was like,
you know, as I move forward.
This is about positivity, thisis about peace.
I've done some a lot ofself-reflection and really have

(02:38):
dug as deep as I can andprobably could dig a little more
deeper into myself and reallyI'm at a place where this is
really about.
I care, but I don't give a fuck.
That's where I'm at and I'lltalk a little bit about that.
If you read my last newsletterthat I dropped on LinkedIn, I
talked about that and Iexplained what it was.

(03:00):
It's not like I don't care, Idon't care, but it really is
about that bounce hashtag, thebounce back life.
So this episode is going tofocus on how do we move forward?
How do we get to a place.
Okay, we've identified that.
Hey, I got some self-loveissues I need to work through.
I got some self-worth issues Ineed to work through.
I'm self-sabotaging here andthere, but at the end of the day

(03:21):
, I'm trying to be peaceful,happy, live, live a soft life,
all the things.
So we're now going to try tomove into what we're thinking
about living.
Hashtag the authentic life.
I talked to you and said veryearly on it's about doing that
self-reflection.
It's about taking stock of whoyou are, how you show up in the
world, how you show up foryourself, how you show up for
others, all the things, and Ithink the past episodes has

(03:45):
really allowed us to dig deepinto that and really do some
self-reflection.
Because I know, when I am doingthe episode and recording the
episode, I've been thinking tomyself like when I'm talking and
I'm telling you all, hey, youneed to do this and this is a
strategy, and I'm thinking aboutthat and I'm thinking through
my own life as I'm talking, I'mlike, girl, you need to check

(04:08):
yourself, you need to fall backfor a second.
You forgot.
So I hope that you all, at thispoint, have really done some
self-reflection, because now I'mmoving towards how to.
Okay, I've done theself-reflection.
I know the things that I need towork on, I know my strengths, I
know my weaknesses andopportunities for growth.
I know my triggers, I know mytraumas.

(04:30):
I know all of those things.
Now, how can I press forwardand have a not just a happy life
, but a joyful life as you'removing forward?
So that's where we're going tostart, um, or that's where we
are going and trying to embrace.
So, as I always say, you grabyour cup of coffee, you grab
your glass of wine, you grab acup of tea or whatever the case.

(04:52):
Get you a journal, get yournotes for your phone and let's
get it OK.
So the truth about the bounceback.
So I'm going to be transparent,honest, real, all the things
with you all about the bounceback.
That thing is not always cute.
It definitely isn't alwaysInstagram worthy.

(05:15):
When we think about the bounceback, or in self-sabotage and
some of the passings that I'vetalked about, there are times
when we can be so deep in ourown self-sabotage that trying to
bounce back can feel liketrying to jump out of quicksand
with weights around our ankles.
We want to fix it and we wantto fix it fast, because we got

(05:37):
to get back to that polishedversion of ourselves that we
exude to the world, right?
But here's the truth.
Something like that is notinstant Resilience, right, we
like to use that word all thetime and sometimes we really
don't.
Sometimes I just don't want tohave to be resilient, but
sometimes we do.
But nonetheless, it's notinstant.
It's something that's builtover time and it's often built

(06:00):
in silence, behind closed doors,when no one is around.
When no one is around, when noone is cheering, and you're
wondering if it's even worth thecomeback, right?
So having a full transparencymoment.
Early on I made the statementabout I care, but I don't give a
fuck.

(06:20):
And for those that are new here, I cuss very minimal, but you
may hear, but this, this is amodel that I have in my head and
it's not that I don't careabout people, I don't care about
things, it's just about how Iprocess the things that I do
care about.
And so, going into that fulltransparency, there was a moment

(06:40):
in my life where I was soconsumed with what I was
experiencing in my life.
At that time it negativelyimpacted my emotions.
It negatively impacted myinteractions with people.
It negatively impacted the wayI interacted and engaged.
I was always in my feelings.

(07:01):
It was like this weight was onmy shoulders, this black cloud
was over my head all the timeand I just could not get out of
that space, no matter how much Itry.
And a lot of times I could getmyself out the quicksand and
something would always knock meback down, right, something
would always push me back intoit, may it be a conversation

(07:24):
with somebody or replaying oroverthinking the situation and
the circumstance and all thethings right, but when I'm
really sitting in, sitting in myroom and really kind of
thinking through everything withmyself and you get to a place
of asking yourself like, how doI even get here?

(07:47):
Right.
And then it's like you figureout that you're stuck between
disappointment and disconnection.
Right, I'm disappointed in whatI'm experiencing, I'm
disappointed in how I'm managingwhat I'm experiencing and
because of that disappointmentin that all of those feelings
I'm managing what I'mexperiencing and because of that
disappointment and all of thosefeelings, I'm ultimately

(08:09):
disconnected.
So you get to a place where andI got to a place where I felt
like I had accomplished so muchwhen it came to my emotions
because I teach emotionalintelligence and how to manage
and not allowing things to havea negative impact on my emotions
, right, and I had workedthrough a lot of things, through

(08:29):
counseling and all of thatstuff, and I just felt like all
the things that I had worked onwas falling to the wayside and
you start to begin to feel likeyou've lost momentum.
You feel like you lostself-trust and honesty and,
honestly, you feel like you losta little bit of yourself, right
, and you know what makes itworse is that you walk around

(08:52):
pretending like none of that ishappening to you, right?
You're smiling througheverything.
You're acting like you goteverything under control.
You're trying to put on a braveface.
You're trying to be funny.
It's like you're putting onlike you're.
You're trying to put on a braveface.
You're trying to be funny.
It's like you're putting onlike you're you're.
It's a character that is nowplaying what is your life, but

(09:13):
when you think about it, yourinner world is crumbling.
It's falling apart, so that Idon't care, that I care.
Not, I'm sorry, not, I don'tcare.
I do care that I care, but Idon't give a fuck for me really
came from a place of I truly docare, because I am a human being
.
I have feelings.
I need to.
I need to own my feelings.
I need to accept my feelings.
I need to process my feelings.

(09:34):
That I don't give a fuck comesinto play where it's like I
can't let that control me.
It is what it is.
I can only control Keisha.
I can't control what anotherperson is doing or what another
person isn't doing, and the onlyperson that I need to worry
about disappointing at thispoint in my life, at these good

(09:55):
45 years, is Keisha, nobody else.
So that's where that comes from.
So what I learned was yourbounce back starts when you stop
lying to yourself about thefall right.
You've got to name what hurt,name what got lost and name what
you're still holding on toright and working through that

(10:16):
thing.
So a strategy that I want youto think about is name the loss,
don't sugarcoat it.
It be 100 real about what isgoing on, the role you play, the
role other people play.
Be honest and transparent,because we cannot heal what we
refuse to acknowledge.
So you have to be honest withyourself.
So, like that situation, I hadto own what I was doing to

(10:43):
create what I was dealing with.
Like that feeling of beingstuck in the, in the quicksand,
because a lot of times we liketo say somebody hurt, hurt us,
right.
No, you hurt yourself.
A lot of times you hurtyourself because you knew you
should have quit that job orleft that person or whatever the
case may be Right.
So we can't heal what we refuseto acknowledge and we cannot

(11:03):
rebuild what we haven't evenadmitted is broken.
So you have to be transparentand honest with yourself.
So here's your step one in thebounce back journey Get
radically honest with yourself.
And so try this journalingprompt.
I feel like I lost blank when Iblank, fill in the blank with no

(11:24):
filters, no shame and no edits.
I feel like I lost blank when Iblank.
Examples might be things like Ifeel like I lost my sense of
purpose when I took a job justto pay the bills.
I feel like I lost myconfidence when I stayed in that
relationship too long.
I feel like I lost myself whenI started performing instead of

(11:46):
living.
This practice isn't aboutdrowning in regret.
It's actually about owning yourstory with clarity, because the
truth is what you won't name,you can't navigate, and we're
not staying stuck in survivalmode.
We're trying to build somethingstronger.
So a bonus strategy for you isto pair your journaling with an

(12:07):
audio memo to yourself.
Hearing your voice on the painand the power is transformative.
Save it, come back to it in 90days and watch growth, and I
promise you I have so many voicememos about things that I was
dealing with, and recently I wascleaning out my phone and I

(12:29):
went back and listened to them.
Let me tell y'all somethingwhen you hear yourself in pain,
when you hear yourself talkingabout what you are letting
yourself deal with and allow,occur in your life like 90 days,
180 days, even 365 days.
I promise you that is a realitycheck like nobody's business.

(12:54):
It is something better than anyfriend conversation that you
can have with a friend, acounselor.
Anybody else is to hearyourself talk about some mess
that you're dealing with lateron and you are like what, what,
what in the world is wrong withyou?
So I highly recommend doingthat.

(13:16):
So, as usual, let me know howyou did that by logging on to
LinkedIn and doing all thethings, and so that is how you
did that, by logging on toLinkedIn and doing all the
things, and so that is how youstart.
And that's the truth about thebounce back.
Okay, so we've talked aboutresilience, and resilience isn't

(13:39):
random, it's a routine.
So now let's talk about whathappens after you name the laws,
because clarity is the spark,but consistency is the structure
.
So I told you I was in my littledeep funk, and I mean deep, I
mean it was deep.
I was walking around with thelittle cloud that you see in the
, in the, the little cartoonmovies, where the person got the

(14:02):
cloud, the dark cloud, overtheir head and it's thundering
and lightning.
Yeah, that was me for a minute,but I realized I didn't have a
real system to support myhealing right.
I had gone through counselingand did all the things and I was
implementing, I was journaling,I was doing all the stuff, but
I was again so stuck in how Iwas feeling.
You know, I was waiting onmotivation to rescue me.

(14:24):
You know one of those magicalmornings where the sun hits just
right, the playlist is perfectand suddenly I feel like running
the world.
But those days were rare.
I had some of those days, butthey were rare.
And so discipline, notmotivation, is what needed to
show up first.
So I had to stop waiting forthe feeling and start designing

(14:45):
a rhythm that honored my healing.
Not my hustle, not productivity, just presence, right.
So in thinking about a strategyto begin that routine, you gotta
create a bounce back ritual.
What's your personal recoveryplan?
This isn't what's your everydaymorning routine.
This is your emergencygrounding kit.

(15:08):
It's what you go back to whenyou feel scattered, unmotivated,
anxious or stuck.
It's your reset button.
It's the thing that helps bringyou back to center.
So this is in addition to thatstuff you already do in the
morning walking in the mirrortelling yourself you look good
and you look great.
This is the thing that when youneed to be centered.

(15:28):
This is what you go to, so I'mgoing to keep saying this.
So y'all probably gonna hear alittle bit more cussing in this
one than you've ever heard inany episode, but I apologize for
those who don't appreciate thator like or cuss, but for me, my

(15:50):
center now is when I get to aplace where I am anxiety driven,
my nervous system about to beunregulated, I go into
hypervigilant mode.
I really do go to the Keisha.
You care, and it's OK to careabout this thing, process what
you feel about it, but you don'tgive a fuck.
You're not going to overthinkit.
You're not.
You're going to acknowledge it,but you're going to move on.

(16:12):
You will deal with it the bestway that you can, but you're not
going to carry it with youevery day, right, and so
listening to morning affirmation, staying off of social media,
stop listening to like social.
Once I feel like, once I reallylet go of talking about the

(16:33):
situation, looking at things onsocial media related to the
social, to the situation.
It gave me a point of clarityfrom a mindset perspective.
So you know what is your ritual, what is the thing that's going
to get you grounded when youfeel like you are falling Right.
So start with these twoquestions what three things

(16:56):
bring me back to myself when I'moff center?
Think, is it silence, movement,prayer, worship, therapy,
breathe, work, journaling,nature, dancing in your kitchen,
whatever the case may be, butwhat are those three things that
bring you back to yourself whenyou're feeling off?

(17:19):
The second question is what do Ineed to remove that keeps me
stuck in the past version of me?
This can be unhealthy habits, avoice in your head, a toxic
playlist.
You know, we got thoseplaylists on our phones, like I
got some playlists on my phonethat say fuck them people.
Or I have a whole bunch ofplaylists on my phone that

(17:42):
probably is real toxic, that Idon't need to listen to when I'm
off center, right.
Or even the way you talk toyourself when nobody's listening
, or the conversations that youhave with people, right.
So think about that.
Like I said, for myself, I knewwhat I needed to remove because
it was just perpetuating how Iwas feeling about certain things

(18:03):
.
And so what are those thingsthat you need to remove so that
you don't feel stuck?
So you know, some rituals caninclude silence before you touch
your phone.
So, like every time you get upin the morning, it's the first
thing you do.
You get on your phone,scrolling on Instagram, tiktok,
facebook, linkedin, whatever thecase may be.
What are you doing?

(18:24):
Right?
A whispered prayer, even ifit's just God, carry me today.
Right, that's a ritual.
Like can you just get methrough today?
Or God, I mean, I understand,but I don't understand and leave
it at that.
Right, get you some fresh air,get out for 10 minutes, do

(18:46):
things that make you, that bringyou joy, that you're not
worried about anybody else, andyou do these things.
It brings you joy.
Counseling sessions, where youspeak your truth out loud to
someone, right?
I believe in therapy.
I believe in working with atherapist because you got to

(19:06):
talk to somebody that don't havea dog in your fight, but don't
be talking about the same thing.
Like, for a moment with mycounselor, I said I know you're
getting tired of hearing me talkabout this because I promise
you, I'm tired of talking to youabout it.
So it was a couple of sessionsand I was just like you know
what that?
Can we talk about somethingelse, right?
So just being mindful of that.

(19:26):
And then having affirmations.
There's a affirmation podcastthat I listen to regularly, and
so what are, though?
Like, what are affirmations?
I have affirmations written inlipstick on all my mirrors in in
my bedroom, like so, what aredifferent rituals that you have
that you can play back andremind yourself who you really

(19:47):
are?
Right, a bounce back ritual tipis don't overthink it.
Just choose two to three thingsyou can commit to on hard days,
and let those actions speaklouder than your feelings,
because the goal of a bounceback isn't perfection, it's
presence.
When you start showing up foryourself in small ways, your
energy starts to shift, yourclarity returns and, before you

(20:10):
know it, you're rebuilding.
When thinking about the bounceback, we got to think about
self-forgiveness, becauseself-forgiveness is a power move
.
So this was, and this can be,the hardest part of your bounce

(20:31):
back journey Not rebuilding yourroutines, not setting
boundaries, not even cuttingpeople off.
It's forgiving yourself, right,for the times that you let
yourself down, that you silenceyour voice or ignored red flags
that you knew were waving inyour face big as day, loud and

(20:53):
proud girl.
What you doing, what you doing,what you doing?
Right so that?
Right, so that forgiveness isso difficult for us?
Right, because we can carryshame like an armor, right.
It's like if I stay mad atmyself, it's somehow proving

(21:17):
that I'm learning the lessonthat I need to be learning,
right, but in reality, allyou're doing is punishing a
version of yourself that didn'tknow what you didn't know, or
didn't know what you do know now, right.
And that's not growth, that'sguilt on replay.
So this is what you have toaccept.
I do the best that I can withthe tools that I have at the
time.
I do the best that I can withthe tools that I have at the

(21:40):
time.
The version of me who made thechoice wasn't weak.
She was surviving, she wasfiguring it out, she was trying
to protect herself in only theways that she knew.
How right, we get so caught upin people viewing us weak and
caring about people looking atus as though we're weak people

(22:02):
viewing us weak and caring aboutpeople looking at us as though
we're weak.
And one thing that my counselortold me that I'm so
appreciative of, because I wouldsay in some moments that you
know I don't know what in theworld wrong with me, what I
don't know what in the world iswrong with me like I got more
sense than most.
At least, I feel like I got alot of sense.
So what in the world is goingon?
And she would say, like whatyou're dealing with and how

(22:24):
you're processing it, and whatyou're doing and the decisions
that you make are common, likeit's like y'all, you want to
have this instant fix and it'slike no, that thing takes time
and you will eventually getthere.
It's not that you're weak, it'snot that you're stupid.
She said you're surviving andyou're just trying to figure it
out.
And so I was very appreciativeof that.

(22:47):
And so, in being real withmyself, even as someone who
coaches other people, this canalways be a humbling experience,
because it's easy to extendgrace outward, but turning that
grace inward, that takesintentional work.
It takes looking yourself inthe mirror and saying I'm not

(23:09):
going to hold this over my headanymore.
I deserve a fresh start for mefrom me, right?
So in thinking about a strategyand how to work through that, I
tried to look at the three Rforgiveness framework, recognize
, reframe and then release it.
So let's break this down and dothat work, right?

(23:30):
So recognize, start by namingexactly what you're holding
against yourself and be specific.
So an example of that is I'mstill upset with myself for
staying in a situation thatdrained me.
I feel ashamed of how I handledthat opportunity.
I know I sabotaged it.
Write it down, say it loud.

(23:51):
Don't bury it, because whatstays hidden stays heavy.
Reframe this is where thehealing starts.
Ask yourself what would I sayto a friend who made the same
mistake?
Now say that to yourself.
So, instead of I failed,reframe it as I discovered what

(24:11):
doesn't work for me.
Instead of I should have knownbetter, say now that I know
better, I can be better.
This isn't about avoidingaccountability.
It's about replacing self-blamewith self-compassion, the key
to moving forward withoutdragging old pain into your new
path.
And the last one is aboutrelease.

(24:35):
And now we let it go, not witha post, not with a nice little
quote, but with our ritual Writeyourself a forgiveness letter.
You can start it with I forgiveyou for.
Burn it, rip it, bury it, orkeep it in your journal as a
declaration that you're doneliving under the weight of what

(24:55):
has already happened.
You can even record a voicememo to yourself saying the
words you needed to hear backthen and the ones you need to
hear now, and then I challengeyou, if you do that, to play
that voice memo back anytime youfeel yourself slipping into
shame, make your healing louderthan your history.

(25:15):
So for me, writing that letterabout forgiving myself for all
the things right and thenreplaying that and reading that
and put, I put mine in myjournal and left it as a place
of reflection.
But it gives you just that aplace to reflect.
The other thing is use visualanchors.

(25:35):
Put a sticky note on yourmirror with your forgiveness
mantra, simply something simpleand powerful, like I forgive me.
I am growing.
My past decisions don't definemy present worth right.
Every bounce back requiresrelief, release and
self-forgiveness.
That's the spiritual permissionslip to walk in wholeness.

(25:56):
So I mentioned in my home Ihave on my mirror written in red
lipstick because if you know me, I love me.
Some red lipstick shout outRuby Woo, but I have things on
my mirror.
It's not about forgiveness oranything like that, but it
really is.
It says um, let it be and letGod.

(26:18):
Those two things have been onmy mirror for probably a year or
more.
At this point, probably morethan a year, because I need to
really learn how to just let be,let stuff be.
At the time I wrote it I reallywas in a place where I was
trying to challenge myself.
Girl, just let stuff be.
It is what it is, just let itbe and let God Stop worrying

(26:42):
about it.
So I'm at the place now, I'mletting it be and I'm letting
God by.
I care, but I don't give a okay.
So you have to embraceself-forgiveness.
We give grace to other peopleevery single day.
We will be okay with somebodyshitting on us in a heartbeat

(27:06):
because we are understandingthat they may have had some bad
experiences and all the things.
But your bad experience and mehaving an understanding of your
bad experience does not allowyou to treat me like trash,
right?
And so we give people so muchgrace and we have to learn how
to give ourselves grace.
We also have to learn how tostop talking to people, right,
because everybody's going tohave their opinions about what

(27:28):
we should do, what we shouldn'tdo, how we should move, and you
know I really try.
I have the things that I havedealt with and the things that I
have experienced in my lifepast and present has really put
me in a place to where I won'ttell nobody what they should or
shouldn't do about nothing.
I don't care how good it is,how bad it is.

(27:49):
I will listen to a person, andeverybody has their own journey,
and we are so quick to say whatwe wouldn't do and I will tell
anybody.
You do not know the wars youwould fight until you are in the
battle, standing on the frontline, and got to make a decision
what you're going to do.
It's easy to say that I wouldnever.

(28:10):
You don't know what you wouldnever do until you're in the
midst of it.
So give yourself grace, likebegin to forgive yourself for
choices that you make, the poorchoices that we make.
We all make poor choices.
It's about understanding andreframing that thing.
Oh, okay.
Well, this is what I can do tobe different.

(28:31):
This is what I can do to bebetter.
So learn how to do someself-forgiveness and please
yourself grace, okay.
So rebuilding means redefining.
So let me say something thattook me a minute to understand.
Sometimes we bounce back intothe very life that broke us.

(28:54):
We rush to get back to normal,but, if we're honest, that
version of normal was drainingus, limiting us and pulling us
out of alignment long before wehit rock bottom.
So when I was in my own bounceback season after feeling like I
lost my voice, my peace, myclarity, all the things I kept

(29:18):
trying to recreate.
What once worked right, whatare the things that, before all
of this happened, what wasworking right?
And sometimes, when we thinkabout things, it could be the
job title, the calendar fullbusy things, the perfectly
curated schedule that lookedimpressive but left us empty,

(29:40):
right?
So it wasn't until I took apause and asked do I even want
the version of that thinganymore?
Right, things started to shiftat that point when I asked that
question.
Right, it's like you're doingall this fighting, you're doing

(30:00):
all.
You got all these feelings, yougot all these emotions, you
feeling all this stuff to getback to a place that, like, do I
even really want to be in thatsame place?
Because if I was in that place,me being in that place got me
to where I'm at right now.
So is that a place that I'mreally want to be?

(30:24):
Am I fighting for something?
I don't really know if that'sexactly how I want it.
And here's what the thing thatyou got to admit, we begin to
measure progress based off ofoutdated metrics, old goals, old
definitions of winning, andthat mindset will keep us

(30:47):
tethered to a version ofourselves that we have already
outgrown will keep us tetheredto situations that we have
outgrown.
That would keep us tethered tojobs that we should have left
Right.
So sometimes your bounce backdoesn't mean getting everything
back the way that it was.
Sometimes your bounce backmeans surrendering what no

(31:10):
longer fits you so you can buildsomething that actually honors
who you are right now, not whoyou were when you started, right
.
So for me, when I talk aboutthat situation, it really is
about it's not trying to getback to old version, cause this
is what something another thingmy therapist told me when we

(31:32):
think about people and we thinkabout jobs and things like that,
and you know you start a newjob and you at that new job and
it's like everybody is so niceand friendly and yada, yada,
yada, it's like this is thegreatest place to work, right.
And then eight months, ninemonths, those people that was

(31:53):
friendly ain't so friendlyanymore People not talking,
people ain't smiling, peopleain't doing the same thing.
And what she told me was a lotof times what you get up front,
you can't compare what you'regetting now to what you got on
the front end, because if you'vebeen getting what you're

(32:14):
getting for the last year, twoyears, three years, and you got
what you got on the front endfor eight, nine, ten months.
What you're getting right nowis what they're able to produce.
They're not able to producemore than what you're getting
right now.
You just got the good stuff topull you in in the beginning,

(32:34):
right.
And so when we're thinkingabout rebuilding and bounce
backing to something, whatyou're trying to bounce back to
right.
So it goes back to me sayingthat sometimes it means that you
have to surrender what nolonger fits for you because it
wasn't ever like supposed to bethere from the get-go, right?
So, strategy for you Redefinesuccess through alignment, not

(32:58):
achievement.
So your bounce back is youropportunity to redefine
everything.
What does peace look like to younow?
What does joy feel like in thisseason?
See, we like to focus on beinghappy, which we should be happy,
but that happiness can ebb andflow.
What about joy?
So, for me, I had to like and Iheard this on a podcast that I

(33:23):
was listening to that reallytalked about the difference
between joy and happiness,because I never really thought
about difference.
Like I always focus on happy, Idon't ever really focus on joy.
But happiness can ebb and flowand I can be happy.
I can be unhappy, but still befull of joy, right?

(33:43):
And so what does joy feel likein this season for you?
And if you don't even know whatjoy looks like of unhappiness,
at certain points I got so muchjoy about where I'm at right now

(34:07):
in this season of my life,right?
So what relationships are worthyof your energy?
What relationships are yougoing to put energy into and
what relationships aren't you?
What goals are truly yours andwhich ones are someone else's
expectations dressed up asambitions for you, right?

(34:27):
So here's how to begin.
First thing you're going to dois reclaim your metrics.
Instead of external validationmarkers, the promotion, the
likes, the applause focus oninternal alignment.
Examples of that is I want tofeel energized when I leave work
, not exhausted.
I want my relationships to bereciprocal, not draining.

(34:48):
I want to live in a body thatfeels strong and sacred, not
picked apart.
Then you're going to choose onething to release.
What's one thing you werechasing that no longer serves
your peace?
It could be a career path thatyou're outgrew.
It could be a relationshipdynamic where you shrink An
image you've been performingthat no longer reflects who you

(35:09):
are.
Say it out loud, write it downand then make it real.
Choose one thing to redefine.
Ask yourself if I was startingfrom scratch, what would I build
differently this time?
This is your freedom question.
It opens the door toreinvention, not just recovery.
Right, then I want you tocreate your.

(35:30):
This is a bonus.
I want you to create your newsuccess statement right.
Three to five sentencedeclarations.
That starts with success.
In this season looks like blank.
Be bold, be specific, make ityours, put it on your wall, your
phone, your mirror, speak ituntil you believe it.
Why does this matter?

(35:51):
Because when you rebuildwithout redefining, we repeat
the same stuff, but when yourebuild with clarity, intention
and alignment, we create a lifethat's not only sustainable,
it's sacred.
We coming into the home stretch, I want you to think that your

(36:17):
bounce back is bigger than you.
So let me speak to your soulfor a minute.
Your bounce back it's not justfor you.
It's for the version of you whoonce felt forgotten.
It's for the people watchingyou, even in silence.
It's for your sister, yourbrother, your co-worker, your

(36:41):
student, your child, your tribe,who just needs proof that
rising is possible.
There was a season when Ithought that nobody saw my
struggle, felt my struggle, anyother thing.
I was trying to heal in private, trying to keep things together

(37:02):
in public and wondering if, atthe end of the day, if any of it
really mattered.
But looking back, I see how mydecision to get back up, even
when it wasn't pretty, wasplanting seeds for someone else.
Sometimes your courage becomessomeone else's clarity.
Sometimes your healing journeyunlocks healing for a friend you

(37:24):
don't even know is watching oreven dealing with something.
We live in a world whereeverybody wants to showcase the
glow up, but real change thatcomes in the comeback story, not
the one that skip steps, theone that tells the truth.
And here's the real someone'ssurvival guide is being written

(37:45):
every time you choose to keepgoing.
That's purpose and that's power, right?
So for me, I know I'm watched alot by people because I'm told
that, and so for me, I alwaysfeel like everybody views me as
this person of such strength andresilience and all the things,

(38:07):
and I would like to believe thatI do.
I am a person of strength and Iam a person who is very
resilient, but at the same time,I think what comes with that is
that, because there's this ideathat you have all this strength
and you're so resilient thatyou don't deal with things and
that you don't have strugglesand that you don't have problems
and that there's no way humanlypossible she could be dealing

(38:29):
with that.
Yes, she can trust me, right.
So that saying that we say checkon your strong friends.
Please check on your strongfriends, because your strong
friends going through it and alot of times, because if you are
the go to person for everybody,you're the problem solver for
everybody.
Sometimes it's a struggle tolean on people, because people

(38:51):
are always leaning on you, andso it's important for you to
check on your strong friends tohelp them through their bounce
back.
So one of the things that youcan always do is turn your story
into service.
Your bounce back is sacred andthere's strength in sharing that
, not from a place of perfection, but from a place of power and
process.
That's why I do this podcastright.

(39:13):
I talk about hashtag theauthentic life, because I
promise you it is so importantto be you, it is so important to
live authentically as yourself,it is so important to show up
in spaces and take up space asyou, and if people can't accept
it, just kick them to the curb,tell them to kick socks with no
rocks I mean, tell them to kickrocks with no socks and keep it

(39:35):
going right.
And so sometimes, sharing yourstory and sharing what you have
experienced and what you havegone through, let somebody else
know that, one, they're notalone.
But two, it is possible to movepast that stuff right and you
can start small share about onebounce back moment with somebody
you trust.
Talk about what you're learning, not just what you overcame,

(39:59):
but what you learned.
Be willing to be seen not justfor who you are but for who
you're becoming.
Then you know, if you wanted to, you could take that thing a
little deeper and start a bounceback circle with two to three
people where y'all check in witheach other on a regular basis,
y'all hosting journal nights orreleasing reset sessions, where
y'all are going to talk aboutwhat you're letting go of and

(40:21):
supporting each other.
You know, maybe use socialmedia for intentional posts.
That speaks to people.
However you choose to kind ofshare your story, do that.
You know there's a reflection.
Today I'm proud of myself forwhatever, even if it's just
getting out of bed, answeringthe email or not.
Spiraling today, you know, forsome of us not spiraling is.

(40:44):
It was a good day, right?
Depending on what you'redealing with, especially, you
know, depending on workenvironments we are and then
create a legacy reminder, askyourself what do I want my
bounce back to teach otherpeople?
Then write it out and then turnit into a mission, frame it and
keep it somewhere visible.
Your bounce back becomes part ofwho you are.

(41:06):
It becomes part of your legacy,your love language to the next
woman, man or young persontrying to find their way back to
themselves.
Right, you weren't meant tostay in the valley, but you also
weren't meant to forget it.
Your bounce back will always bea part of your becoming, and
that is the gift, not just toyou, but to everybody around you

(41:30):
.
So, when you think about yourbounce back and the importance
of bouncing back, think aboutthose people that are watching
you, those people that arearound you, and your bounce back
is bigger, right?
Especially people that you mayhave confided in and that really
do feel like, hey, I hope Iwish she wasn't dealing with

(41:53):
this, I hope I wish she wasmaking you know different
choices and let them see that,hey, you can bounce back and you
did bounce back and havingthose conversations.
I think when you work throughbouncing back from something
bouncing back from a lack ofself-love or bouncing back from
a lack of self-worth or bouncingback from self-sabotage you
know it's important for you toshare that and to let people see

(42:18):
that you are capable ofbouncing back, because it's not
easy.
It's not always easy to bounceback from things.
Sometimes it takes time, ittakes longer time, it takes more
time than it was to get intothe hole, to get out the hole
right.
So really getting to a place ofunderstanding that you're not,

(42:41):
like I said, you're not meant tostay in the valley, but you
can't forget it either.
You know what are the lessonsthat you've learned by dealing
with what you're dealing withand going through what you've
gone through, and then how canyou help other people.
I think the other thing is, whenyou do go through all of that,
it does put you, put you in aposition to have a different

(43:03):
perspective on things, right?
I think when people go throughthings at least for me I will
say some of the things that I'veexperienced in my life, past
and present definitely puts mein a place of being probably
more understanding, definitelyputs me in a place of being

(43:25):
probably more understanding,more empathetic, have a
different perspective.
When other people are sharingsimilar stories, I'm not so
quick to jump to the girl.
You shouldn't, or I would have,I would never.
I'm not so quick to jump tothat place anymore because I've
had my own experiences wherereally thinking about who I am,

(43:45):
what I stand for, who I am as awoman, all of those things.
There are things that I haveexperienced that I felt like I
would never experience, that Iwould never deal with that.
I would, you know, walk awayfrom sooner all the things, and
I have dealt with them, even inthe place of feeling like I

(44:06):
would never.
And so it definitely has givenme a different perspective.
And so I think, with that bounceback when you're thinking about
sharing that and that, thebounce back is bigger than you.
It's also about thatself-reflection.
We're going to always go backand thinking about emotional
intelligence, thatself-reflection piece, and
really being self-aware of howthings impact us and how does

(44:30):
that impact how we interact andengage with people?
Because, again, sometimes yourcourage is definitely somebody
else's clarity and your healingcan unlock healing for somebody
else, and so you know what areyour lessons learned and then
how do you share that out?
We are done and we went alittle deep today and, if you're

(44:54):
still with me, I want you topause and take a breath, inhale
the truth that you can recover,exhale the lie that you're too
far gone, because the truth is,your bounce back doesn't require
permission, it requiresdecision and the moment you
choose to press play on thisepisode.

(45:16):
That was the part of the bounceback, that was part of the
shift, that was part of yourhealing.
You don't have to come backperfect.
You just have to come backpresent One choice, one breath,
one honest moment of time.
Every time you get up, evenshakily, you're writing your
story.
Every time you speak life overyourself, you're building your

(45:38):
future.
And every time you show upfully flaws and all, you're
giving someone else permissionto do the same.
So here's what I want you toremember as you walk away from
this episode your bounce back ispersonal, but it's also
purposeful.
Your healing is happening, evenif no one sees it, and your
comeback will always be greaterthan your setback if you let it.
And your comeback will alwaysbe greater than your setback if

(45:59):
you let it.
If this episode blessed you, tagme at Podcasting with Keisha or
the Authentic Life Inc.
On Instagram, use the hashtaghashtag the Bounce Back Life so
you can celebrate your journey,so I can celebrate your journey
with you.
If you feel like this wassomething that touched you,
share with someone who's intheir own bounce back season,

(46:20):
because we rise better together.
So keep on.
We're going to keep unpackingthings, we're going to keep
moving this thing forward, butpeace, love and blessings from
your girl, keisha.
Well, folks, the episode hascome to an end.
Thank you for hanging out withme on the Authentic Life.
Well, folks, the episode hascome to an end.
Thank you for hanging out withme on the Authentic Life.

(46:41):
If you love today's episode,don't forget to subscribe,
because subscribing it's justlike an instant invite to more
fun, to more inspiration and tomore authentic vibes.
I could also use a review, soleave a review or share this
with someone that you feel needsa little inspiration.
But whatever you do, let'sspread the joy of the authentic
life.
Remember this your authenticself is your greatest gift to

(47:04):
the world, and no one shouldever make you feel like you
aren't.
Until next time, stay true,stay bold and keep living the
authentic life.
Peace, love and blessings fromyour girl, keisha.
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