February 14, 2025 • 36 mins
Love is in the air—but before you look outward, let’s take a moment to look within. 💡
In this special Valentine’s Week episode of The Authentic Life Podcast, we’re diving into The Self-Love Life—because the most important love story you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.
In this episode, we explore:
✨ How self-love shapes the relationships you attract
✨ Why you need to stop waiting for external validation and start validating yourself
✨ A powerful mirror work practice to shift your self-perception
✨ A self-love challenge to help you build a daily practice of honoring YOU
Plus! Subscribers get early access and an exclusive Self-Love Life Worksheet to reflect, take action, and deepen their self-love journey.
This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, coaching, or therapy. Always seek the guidance of a qualified mental health or coaching professional for your specific needs.
- ✨ Want to learn more about Keisha, host of #TheAuthenticLife Podcast? Visit my Bio Link for all the details! 🌟: https://bio.site/consultingwithkeisha
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, it's your girl, keisha, and welcome to the
Authentic Life.
Each episode, I'll guide you onthe journey to living fully,
freely and unapologetically.
Together, we'll dive into realstories, practical insights and
steps you can take to embraceyour truth and show up as your
most authentic self.
So guess what?
I am glad that you are herewith me.
Let's get started.
Welcome to the Authentic Life,a space where we explore what it
(00:31):
really means to live fully, tolive freely and, most
importantly, to liveunapologetically, as your true
self.
If you're new here, I'm Keisha,I'm your host, I'm your guide
and, by the end of this, I mightjust be your accountability
partner on this journey.
So, whether you're tuning infrom your car, your office, the
(00:51):
gym or your favorite cozy cornerat home, I'm so glad that you
decided to be here with me today.
And guess what?
It's Valentine's Day, and whiletoday is often about romantic
love, I want to shift the focusto something just as important
self-love.
Because here's the truth Everyrelationship in your life,
(01:13):
romantic or otherwise, is areflection of the relationship
you have with yourself.
So today we are going tocelebrate love, but not just any
kind of love, the kind thatstarts with you.
Now, before we dive in, let's doa quick refresher.
If you've been rocking with me,you know the last time we
talked about hashtag theone-on-one life.
(01:33):
That episode was all aboutstanding in your uniqueness,
owning your identity andunderstanding that you are
one-on-one.
There is nobody like you, andthat is your power.
But here's the thing Knowingyou're one of one means nothing
if you don't love yourself first.
You can recognize youruniqueness, your gifts, your
power.
(01:53):
But if you don't value yourself, if you don't treat yourself
with the love and care youdeserve, you'll still find
yourself seeking validationoutside of you.
And that's where today'sepisode comes into play.
Today we're diving into hashtagthe self-love life, because
self-love is more than just atrend or a catchphrase.
(02:14):
It's the foundation foreverything.
The way you love yourself setsthe tone for how others love you
, how you navigate relationshipsand how you show up in the
world.
So before we go any further, Ihave a question who has been in?
How many of you have beenparticipating in the self-love
challenge?
It's a challenge where youprioritize you, even if it's
(02:38):
just for five minutes.
And if you're in and if you'vebeen in, I want you to say it
out loud right now I'm in orI've been in.
I want you to say it out loudright now I'm in or I've been in
.
Yes, I know you might belistening in the car, at work or
in the gym, but say it anywayand if you really mean it, send
me a DM or tag me in yourself-love moment or drop a
comment, because self-love isn'tjust something we talk about.
(03:00):
It's something we actually haveto practice, and today's
episode is all about how do youdo just that.
So in this episode, we're goingto talk about what self-love
actually is and we know it'sdeeper than bubble baths and spa
days how to stop waiting forexternal validation and start
validating yourself, thatconnection between self-love and
(03:22):
the relationships we attract,that connection between
self-love and the relationshipswe attract, the ways we
unknowingly sabotage our ownself-worth and, of course,
practical ways to build anunshakable self-love practice.
Because if hashtag theone-on-one life was about
recognizing your worth, hashtagthe self-love life is about
honoring that worth every singleday.
The self-love life is abouthonoring that worth every single
(03:44):
day.
So, whether you're single, in arelationship or in that it's
complicated phase, this is foryou.
So thank you for showing up foryourself and for this community
.
Remember, this wasn't just thelaunch of the authentic life.
It was the launch of somethingthat might just change your life
.
(04:04):
Now let's get into it.
All right.
So let's start by breaking downwhat self-love actually means,
because society has fed us thisidea that self-love is just face
masks, going on vacations andtreating yourself to something
nice and don't get me wrong,self-care is part of it.
(04:24):
But self-love, that thing, runsso much deeper.
Self-love is choosing yourself,even when it's hard.
Self-love is setting boundaries, even when it makes others
uncomfortable.
Self-love is speaking toyourself with the same kindness
you give to others.
Self-love is holding yourselfaccountable without tearing
(04:48):
yourself down.
And self-love is knowing thatyou are already enough, without
needing external validation fromanybody.
And here's the kicker Self-loveis a practice.
It is not a destination youmagically arrive at.
A practice.
It is not a destination youmagically arrive at.
It's something you have tochoose every single day, in the
way you talk to yourself, thedecisions you make and the
(05:12):
energy you allow into your life.
Think about it.
How often do we look to otherpeople for the love and
validation we should be givingourselves?
We wait for someone else totell us we're beautiful before
we believe it.
We wait for someone else tochoose us.
Before we feel worthy, we waitfor permission to take up space.
(05:34):
But here's the truth you don'tneed permission to love yourself
.
The only validation you need isyour own.
Now let me tell you about a timewhen I had to really check
myself when it came to self-love.
There was a point in my lifewhere I realized I was pouring
so much into everything andeveryone else work,
(05:55):
relationships, commitments but Iwas always leaving myself last.
I thought I was handling it,but I started noticing how tired
I always felt, how I wasn'tshowing up as my best self in
some situations and how I feltresentful when people didn't
pour back into me the way I waspouring into them.
(06:15):
And you know what?
One day I had a moment where Ihad to stop and ask myself am I
treating myself the way I wantothers to treat me?
Ask myself am I treating myselfthe way I want others to treat
me?
If I wasn't loving myself theway I deserve, how could I
expect anybody else to do that?
That's when I knew I had tomake a shift, not just in what I
was doing, but in how I wasbeing with myself, and that's
(06:40):
when my self-love practicereally started.
Now let that sink in.
If you're waiting for externalvalidation before you even start
seeing your own worth, you arealways going to be waiting.
So let's talk about how toshift that thing Now.
(07:00):
Let's be real we are our ownworst enemy when it comes to
self-love.
We say we want to loveourselves, but then we stay in
spaces and relationships thatmake us shrink ourselves.
We beat ourselves up for notbeing perfect.
We compare our journey toeverybody else's journey.
We even ignore our own needs toplease other people.
(07:22):
We accept the bare minimumbecause we're afraid of being
alone or some other reason.
Does that sound familiar?
We've all been there.
But self-love is aboutrecognizing these patterns and
making the decision to choosedifferently.
So let's break a few of thesedown.
Let's start with staying inspaces that don't honor you.
(07:44):
If you constantly have to dimyour light to make others
comfortable, that's not love.
That's self-abandonment.
Self-love means choosing to bein environments that nourish you
, not deplete you.
And let me tell you, I had tolearn this one the hard way.
There was a time when I foundmyself shrinking in a situation
(08:06):
whether it was a relationship ina workspace or sometimes even
in my friendships where I wasn'tbeing valued in the way I
should have been.
I told myself I was beingpatient, or that if I just
showed up a little different, ifI just proved my worth one more
time, things would shift.
And the thing is I knew better.
Things would shift, and thething is, I knew better.
(08:29):
I teach this stuff.
But that's the thing aboutself-love Knowing what you
deserve and actually choosing itare two totally different
things.
So one day I had to sit withmyself and ask why am I holding
on to this?
And the answer wasn't pretty.
You know, sometimes that thingis about fear.
May it be, fear of being alone,fear of the change that's going
(08:51):
to come with releasing thatthing, fear of admitting to
yourself that what I was holdingon to wasn't even holding on to
me, and having to sit in thatand acknowledge that thing.
And let me tell you, walkingaway is always hard, but it be
so necessary, because when youchoose to stay in spaces that
(09:13):
don't honor you, you're tellingyourself that you don't deserve
more, and self-love is aboutknowing that you do.
So.
I want you to ask yourselfright now is there a space in
your life where you're shrinking, where you're staying because
it's familiar, even though youknow it's not feeding you?
And if so, what would it looklike if you choose you instead
(09:36):
Now?
The next one I want to talkabout is negative self-talk.
If the way you talk to yourselfin your head were played out
loud, would you say those thingsto your mother, your sister,
your best friend?
Probably not.
Then why are you saying them toyou?
Self-love means speaking lifeinto yourself and giving
(09:58):
yourself the same grace andcompassion that you give other
people.
I know I'm not the only one whohas picked themselves apart
based off of certain situationsand things that are going on in
your life.
You should be further alone.
You should have figured thisout by now.
You should be doing more.
Why are you still here?
(10:19):
Why are you dealing with that?
That should voice.
It's the enemy of self-love.
But let me tell you somethingI've learned the way you talk to
yourself matters.
Your words create your reality.
So if you wouldn't say it tosomeone you love, it has no
place in how you speak toyourself.
I challenge you this week Catchyourself when that negative
(10:41):
self-talk starts creeping in.
Pause, reframe and starttalking to yourself like you
would talk to someone that youactually love.
Now this last one, lord,accepting the bare minimum If
you have to convince someone tosee your worth.
That's not love, sweetheart.
(11:02):
That's a lesson, and it's onethat self-love will teach you to
stop repeating and listen.
I get it.
When you care about somebody,whether it's a partner, a friend
or even an employer, it's easyto think.
If they just see how much Ibring to the table, things will
change.
(11:22):
But self-love is about that.
Your worth isn't up fornegotiation and you might just
be the table.
So if you're acceptingbreadcrumbs when you deserve the
whole meal, I need you to askyourself why?
And, more importantly, whatwould it look like if I stopped?
(11:43):
Think about the ways you mightbe sabotaging your own self-love
and, more importantly, whatwould it look like if you just
stopped?
Now that we've talked about theways we sabotage our own
self-love, let's take it a stepfurther, because the way we
treat ourselves doesn't justimpact us.
(12:06):
It directly influences.
The way we treat ourselvesdoesn't just impact us.
It directly influences therelationships we attract and the
energy we allow into our lives.
You ever notice how the way youtreat yourself can sometimes
set the standard for how otherstreat you.
That's not a coincidence.
That's probably a reflection.
You see, the relationships weattract may they be romantic
(12:29):
friendships or even professionaloften mirror the way we show up
for ourselves.
If you neglect your own needs,sometimes you are likely to
attract people who takeadvantage of that.
If you struggle with self-worth, you might find yourself drawn
to people who reinforce thoseinsecurities instead of lifting
(12:51):
you up.
But when you love yourselffully, you stop settling for
relationships that don't honoryou.
Think about it.
Have you ever noticed that whenyou're in a season of
self-doubt, you tend to attractpeople who validate that doubt
rather than challenge you togrow?
Or maybe you've acceptedrelationships where you do all
(13:16):
the giving because deep down youdon't fully believe you deserve
to receive the same energy inreturn, to receive the same
energy in return.
On the flip side, when you'refully in your self-love bag,
when you're walking inconfidence, setting boundaries,
choosing yourself, do youattract people who respect that?
(13:40):
You see, I had to learn thisthe hard way.
As I've said many times, therewere times that I have found,
and still find myself giving somuch to people who do not pour
back into me and I reallycouldn't figure out why do I
keep ending up in these samesituations?
But I use the same principlethat I use with other people.
(14:04):
When you keep going through thesame thing, dealing with the
same thing, you got to figureout what's that common
denominator, and a lot of timesthat common denominator is you,
because, see, sometimes we don'tprioritize ourselves.
We don't even require the samething from other people that we
(14:27):
pour into them.
So how can I expect otherpeople to prioritize me or put
me first, when I'm not evendoing it?
We see your relationships are amirror.
If you're constantly feelingdrained by the people in your
life, take a step back and askhow am I treating myself?
Am I constantly giving toothers but never prioritizing my
(14:50):
own needs?
Do I let people walk all overmy boundaries because I struggle
to enforce them?
Am I seeking love andvalidation from others before I
even give it to myself?
The energy you put intoyourself sends a message to the
world about what you will andwon't accept at the end of the
(15:10):
day.
When you love yourself deeply,you don't entertain connections
that diminish you.
You recognize when someone'spresence is draining rather than
nourishing and you moveaccordingly.
Here's the shift when yourespect yourself, you stop
tolerating disrespect.
When you prioritize yourself,you stop chasing people who make
(15:34):
you an option.
When you love yourself, youstop seeking validation from
people who were never meant togive it to you in the first
place.
Here's a quick exercise I wantyou to do.
I want you to reflect on yourrelationships for a moment.
Grab a journal or just take amental note and ask yourself
(15:57):
which relationships in my lifefeel nourishing?
Where do I feel valued, seenand supported?
Which relationships feeldraining?
Where am I constantlyoverextending, people-pleasing
or compromising my own needs?
(16:19):
What small act of self-love canI commit today that will help
me attract the kind of energy Ideserve?
You might be surprised at whatcomes up and listen.
This isn't about blame orcutting people off just for the
sake of it.
This is about awareness,because once you become aware,
(16:42):
you can start making choicesthat align with the love and
respect you truly deserve.
So I want you to ask yourselfwhat do my relationships say
about the way I love myself?
And if the answer makes youpause, good, that means it's
time for you to make a change.
(17:10):
Okay, so now that we've talkedabout how self-love impacts the
relationships we attract, weneed to shift it on back to us,
because here's the thing so manyof us are out here, waiting for
someone else to validate usbefore we give ourselves
permission to feel worthy.
But self-love means knowingthat you are the only validation
you actually really need.
So let's get real for a second.
(17:31):
How many times have you caughtyourself waiting for someone
else to tell you you're goodenough before you believe it?
What about waiting for someoneto recognize your hard work
before you feel accomplished?
Waiting for a compliment beforeyou feel beautiful?
(17:55):
Waiting for someone to chooseyou before you see yourself as
worthy?
It's like we're holding ourself-worth hostage, waiting for
outside approval to set us free.
But let me tell you somethingIf you keep looking for
(18:16):
validation from people, jobs,relationships, even social media
, you will always be chasing it,because external validation is
temporary, it fades, it shiftsand if that's the only thing
holding your confidence together, what happens when it's gone?
(18:37):
One thing I stress to myself andto others when I look in the
mirror every day, I don't careif I'm having a good day, a bad
day or whatever kind of day.
One thing I'm going to say isgirl, you pop, you look good,
you beautiful, all the things.
I am never going to wait onsomebody else to tell me that
(19:00):
I'm beautiful.
I can't wait on somebody elseto tell me that I do a good job,
that my hard work should berecognized.
But you see, we all got tolearn this lesson, because there
is always a time when weoverwork ourselves, we overgive
in relationships, we overextendin friendships and a lot of
(19:23):
times, deep down, it's becausewe're waiting for validation.
We want someone to see ourvalue and acknowledge it.
But you see, the real shiftcomes when you realize what am I
waiting for someone else torecognize what I already know?
But here's the truth no oneelse's approval will ever be
(19:48):
enough if you haven't given itto yourself first.
You don't need permission totake up space, you just should
do it.
You don't need to earn lovefrom nobody because you are love
.
So how do you start validatingyourself instead of waiting for
(20:10):
others to do it for you?
First?
You're going to acknowledgeyour own wins, big and small.
You are going to stop waitingfor someone else to clap for you
If you did something you'reproud of, celebrate yourself.
You finished that project, giveyourself credit.
You set a boundary.
Acknowledge that growth.
Your wins matter even when noone else is watching.
(20:34):
Second, speak life intoyourself every single day.
Self-validation starts with theway you talk to yourself.
Instead of waiting for someoneelse to say you look good today,
do what I do.
Get in the mirror and say ityourself.
Girl, you pop.
Instead of waiting for someoneelse to tell you, instead of
(20:56):
waiting for someone to say I'mproud of you, say I'm proud of
me.
Words matter and the way youspeak to yourself sets the tone
for your confidence.
Stop looking for likes andapprovals to confirm your worth.
Listen, we live in a worldwhere social media can trick us
into believing that our value istied to numbers, likes,
comments and engagement.
(21:17):
But your worth isn't measuredby an algorithm.
It's measured by how you feelabout yourself when that
telephone is off.
Trust yourself, your voice,your decisions, your intuition.
The more you trust your ownjudgment, the less you need
outside approval.
(21:37):
Make a decision and stand 10toes in it.
That means stand by it.
For people that don't know whatthat means, trust that you know
what's best for you.
The more you validate your ownthoughts, the less you need
somebody else to co-sign it foryou.
Lastly, look in the mirror andsee yourself.
Really see yourself.
(21:58):
This ties to the power ofmirror work, which I'll talk to
you about in a few, but I wantyou to take a moment to just see
yourself.
Not just your appearance, butyou, the person you are, the
person you've grown into, andrecognize that you are enough,
exactly as you are.
(22:19):
Let that sink in.
You do not need to wait forsomeone else to tell you that
you are valuable, worthy andenough.
You already are.
The only question is are youready to believe it?
All right?
(22:44):
Now that we've called out thepatterns, let's talk about how
to actually build self-love,because this is where the real
work happens.
So here are five ways to startbuilding hashtag the self-love
life.
The first one speak to yourselfwith love and respect.
Catch yourself when negativeself-talk creeps in, instead of
(23:04):
saying I'm stupid for makingthat mistake.
Try, I'm learning, and mistakesare part of the process, so try
this.
The next time you catchyourself saying something
negative about yourself, pause,take a deep breath, say would I
say this to my best friend, ifnot, reframe it into something
(23:25):
kinder.
Number two set boundaries andhonor them.
Boundaries are self-love andaction.
Stop saying yes when you reallymean no.
Stop overextending yourself.
Stop overexplaining yourself.
Stop letting people have accessto you just because they want
(23:46):
it.
I used to struggle with thisone and probably still do,
especially in work and myrelationships.
I feel guilty for saying no, asif setting a boundary meant I
was letting somebody down.
But I had to learn.
Every time I said yes to thingsthat drain me, I was saying no
to myself, and if I wasn'thonoring my own needs, how can I
(24:09):
expect anybody else to honorthose needs?
So I want you to try this Set aboundary this week.
It can be big or it can besmall.
Maybe it's just telling afriend hey, I can't talk right
now, but let's check in tomorrow.
Or don't check your work emailsafter a certain time.
Notice how it feels, just tochoose yourself.
(24:30):
The third one is aboutcelebrating yourself out loud.
So if you know me, you know Ilove love.
So that's why self-love onValentine's Day is a wonderful
thing and I expect people tocelebrate me out loud.
But I'm going to celebrate meout loud.
I love me some meat.
(24:51):
I love time with me.
I love spending time by myselfwith me.
I like me a lot.
So stop waiting for somebodyelse to clap for you.
Honey.
Did you accomplish something?
Acknowledge it, celebrate it.
Did you show up for yourselftoday?
Celebrate that thing, what Iwant you to do every night this
(25:12):
week is write down one thing youdid well.
It doesn't have to be huge.
Maybe you got out of bed on atough day, maybe you spoke up in
a meeting, maybe you took timeto rest, maybe you said all the
things that you needed to say tosomebody and not cared what
they had to say or feel aboutthe thing, because you have been
holding that stuff in.
Self-love is built in the smallmoments, so celebrate those
(25:37):
things.
So this week I want you to keepnote.
Every day this week, write downone thing you did well.
This is my other favorite one.
Number four is date yourself.
You just.
I just said I love me, some me.
I'm gonna tell you now I loveme, some me.
But getting to the place ofloving me, some me, took a lot
of healing, a lot of therapy andgetting to a place of being
(26:04):
okay by myself, like embracingand spending time with just me
and enjoying that time.
So that's why I like the dateyourself so much, because,
whether you're single or not,take yourself out, treat
yourself the way you wantsomeone else to treat you.
(26:24):
Show yourself what it means tobe loved, because the thing is,
if I love on me.
I can recognize when somebodynot loving on me Right.
I may not always deal with itor handle it in the appropriate
time frame and do all the thingsthat need to happen, but at the
end of the day, if I can showmyself what it means to love me
when I'm not being loved byfamily, friends, a partner,
(26:48):
whatever it's easy for me torecognize.
There was a time when I didn'teven realize I was waiting for
someone else to make me feelspecial.
I would put all this effortinto making sure other people
felt seen and cared for, butwhen it came to me I was just
existing.
If you know me, I am team extra.
So if it's your birthday oranything, I'm going to go above
(27:11):
and beyond to demonstrate mycare and my love.
But one day I took myself out ona solo date.
I ordered my favorite meal, Idid a couple of other little
things and I just enjoyed my owncompany.
And that was a game changerbecause I realized if I can
create joy for myself, I'llnever have to rely on anyone
(27:35):
else to do it for me.
So I'll tell people.
Let's be clear I may not havejoy in this right now, but
outside of this.
I got a whole bunch of joybecause I like me, I like me a
lot.
So date yourself.
Get to a place where you me, Ilike me a lot.
So date yourself.
Get to a place where you say Ilike me a lot.
There's nothing wrong with that, there's nothing wrong with
saying that.
So take yourself out on a date.
(27:58):
It can be as simple as going toget some coffee.
Just go to Starbucks, have aseat, drink you some coffee.
Go to a movie, go to a bar.
Go get you a meal, take a longwalk with music.
Just spend some time with youand getting to know you and who
you are and how you show up inthis world.
Right?
Number five choose yourself,even when it's hard.
(28:22):
I just said that I love me,some me.
You want to know why I feel so.
Okay saying that Because, atthe end of the day, we are
allowed to be the main characterin our own life.
Self-love is about choosing you,even when it's uncomfortable,
even when it means walking awayfrom something that no longer
(28:42):
serves you.
So if there's something you'vebeen putting off because you're
afraid of what people will thinklike wearing that outfit, wear
that outfit, girl or fellowApply for that job.
Tell somebody how you reallyfeel.
Do it all anyway, becausechoosing yourself is a practice,
(29:10):
and the more you do it, thestronger the muscle gets.
So pick one of these and starttoday, because the way you love
yourself sets the tone for howothers will love you.
Okay, I gave you strategies,but I got one more.
(29:30):
You know, one of the mostpowerful self-love practices
I've ever tried, and one that Istill use, is mirror work.
If you've never heard of it,mirror work is a simple but
transformative act of looking atyourself in the mirror and
speaking love into yourself.
And before you roll your eyes,hear me out.
Most of us yourself in themirror and speaking love into
yourself and before you rollyour eyes, hear me out.
(29:51):
Most of us look in the mirrorevery single day, but how often
do we really see ourselves?
How often do we acknowledge ourown presence, meet our own gaze
and then say something nice,say something kind?
Instead, we generally pickourselves apart.
(30:12):
We focus on what we don't like,what we need to change or what
we think isn't good enough.
But what if, instead ofcriticism, we chose compassion?
So here's how you do it youfind a mirror you stand in front
of it, you look yourself in theeyes, you take a deep breath,
(30:37):
then you say something loving toyourself.
Maybe it's as simple as I loveyou.
Maybe it's I'm proud of you.
Maybe it's you are worthy justas you are.
And if this feels awkward oruncomfortable, that means you
(30:58):
need this, because self-loveisn't just a thought.
It's because self-love is apractice.
It's something you do, it'ssomething you reinforce, it's
something you commit to everysingle day.
When you first start, you mayfeel silly.
(31:21):
You might even struggle to saythe words out loud, and that's
okay.
That discomfort, thatresistance it's a sign that this
practice is exactly what youneed, because somewhere along
the way, you may have learned tobe kinder to others than you
are to yourself.
(31:41):
But the relationship you havewith you is the longest
relationship you'll ever be in,so why not make it one built on
love, respect and care?
Now I want you to take thisbeyond just a one-time thing.
Try this every morning or everynight for a week.
Make it a habit and notice howyour energy shifts.
(32:04):
And, if you want it, you wantto take it deeper.
Write down three affirmationsthat feel personal to you.
Say them to yourself every dayin the mirror.
Instead of pointing out whatyou don't like about your
reflection, say one thing youlove about what you see Smile at
yourself.
(32:25):
It might sound simple, butthere's something powerful about
giving yourself that moment ofwarmth and acknowledgement,
because the truth is, the moreyou pour love into yourself, the
less you'll need to seek itelsewhere, and when you truly
see yourself, the world will too.
(32:47):
So here's my challenge for youStand in front of that mirror
today.
Speak love to yourself, and ifit feels hard, keep doing it
till it doesn't.
So it's Valentine's Day, and Ididn't want to give y'all a
super long episode, because whenit comes to self-love, I don't
(33:11):
have to press that.
I don't want to press that.
I want you to choose you.
So here's my challenge for youthis Valentine's Day, though,
choose you.
I know it's lover's day andit's all about the booze.
I want y'all to celebrate y'allbooze.
If you got a booze, celebrateyour booze.
I hope your booze celebratesyou too.
But in the midst of that, Ineed you to be choosing you.
(33:35):
Do something today that reflectsself-love, whether speaking to
yourself kindly, setting aboundary or just taking a moment
to acknowledge your own worth.
Show up for yourself today, andif you said I'm in at the start
of this episode, I want to seeit.
Tag me, dm me or comment onthis episode.
(33:58):
Let's hold each otheraccountable to this self-love
thing.
And don't forget self-loveisn't a one-day thing, it's a
lifestyle.
So keep this energy goingbeyond today.
Keep making choices that honoryou, keep reminding yourself
(34:18):
that you are enough.
I do have a quick, a few quickreminders before you go.
If you love this episode, makesure to subscribe, rate and
leave a review, because the morewe spread this message, the
more people can step into theirown self-love journey.
Follow me on Instagram,linkedin and other social medias
(34:42):
for more self-love mindsets andreal-life conversations, and
turn on your notifications soyou don't miss an episode,
because next week we're divinginto something new.
And if you're looking for aquick boost of self-love to
start your weekend, don't forgetthe last episode.
We released the authenticminutes, so I'll be sharing a
(35:03):
powerful quote and threeaffirmations to set energy right
for the days ahead.
Now, if you are a subscriber, Ido have some subscriber-only
content dropping next week.
That's right.
If you subscribe, you'll getearly access to next week's
episode, plus some exclusivehighlights and extras just for
you.
So if you haven't subscribedyet, now's the time, but until
(35:25):
next time, remember the loveyou're looking for.
It starts with you.
Have an amazing day.
Peace, love and blessings fromyour girl Keisha.
Well, folks, the episode hascome to an end.
Thank you for hanging out withme on the Authentic Life.
If you loved today's episode,don't forget to subscribe,
because subscribing it's justlike an instant invite to more
(35:47):
fun, to more inspiration and tomore authentic vibes.
I could also use a review, soleave a review or share this
with someone that you feel needsa little inspiration.
But whatever you do, let'sspread the joy of the authentic
life.
Remember this your authenticself is your greatest gift to
the world, and no one shouldever make you feel like you
(36:08):
aren't.
Until next time, stay true,stay bold and keep living the
authentic life.
Peace, love and blessings fromyour girl Keisha.
Hi, it's your girl, keisha, and welcome to the
Authentic Life.
Each episode, I'll guide you onthe journey to living fully,
freely and unapologetically.
Together, we'll dive into realstories, practical insights and
steps you can take to embraceyour truth and show up as your
most authentic self.
So guess what?
I am glad that you are herewith me.
Let's get started.
Welcome to the Authentic Life,a space where we explore what it
(00:31):
really means to live fully, tolive freely and, most
importantly, to liveunapologetically, as your true
self.
If you're new here, I'm Keisha,I'm your host, I'm your guide
and, by the end of this, I mightjust be your accountability
partner on this journey.
So, whether you're tuning infrom your car, your office, the
(00:51):
gym or your favorite cozy cornerat home, I'm so glad that you
decided to be here with me today.
And guess what?
It's Valentine's Day, and whiletoday is often about romantic
love, I want to shift the focusto something just as important
self-love.
Because here's the truth Everyrelationship in your life,
(01:13):
romantic or otherwise, is areflection of the relationship
you have with yourself.
So today we are going tocelebrate love, but not just any
kind of love, the kind thatstarts with you.
Now, before we dive in, let's doa quick refresher.
If you've been rocking with me,you know the last time we
talked about hashtag theone-on-one life.
(01:33):
That episode was all aboutstanding in your uniqueness,
owning your identity andunderstanding that you are
one-on-one.
There is nobody like you, andthat is your power.
But here's the thing Knowingyou're one of one means nothing
if you don't love yourself first.
You can recognize youruniqueness, your gifts, your
power.
(01:53):
But if you don't value yourself, if you don't treat yourself
with the love and care youdeserve, you'll still find
yourself seeking validationoutside of you.
And that's where today'sepisode comes into play.
Today we're diving into hashtagthe self-love life, because
self-love is more than just atrend or a catchphrase.
(02:14):
It's the foundation foreverything.
The way you love yourself setsthe tone for how others love you
, how you navigate relationshipsand how you show up in the
world.
So before we go any further, Ihave a question who has been in?
How many of you have beenparticipating in the self-love
challenge?
It's a challenge where youprioritize you, even if it's
(02:38):
just for five minutes.
And if you're in and if you'vebeen in, I want you to say it
out loud right now I'm in orI've been in.
I want you to say it out loudright now I'm in or I've been in
.
Yes, I know you might belistening in the car, at work or
in the gym, but say it anywayand if you really mean it, send
me a DM or tag me in yourself-love moment or drop a
comment, because self-love isn'tjust something we talk about.
(03:00):
It's something we actually haveto practice, and today's
episode is all about how do youdo just that.
So in this episode, we're goingto talk about what self-love
actually is and we know it'sdeeper than bubble baths and spa
days how to stop waiting forexternal validation and start
validating yourself, thatconnection between self-love and
(03:22):
the relationships we attract,that connection between
self-love and the relationshipswe attract, the ways we
unknowingly sabotage our ownself-worth and, of course,
practical ways to build anunshakable self-love practice.
Because if hashtag theone-on-one life was about
recognizing your worth, hashtagthe self-love life is about
honoring that worth every singleday.
The self-love life is abouthonoring that worth every single
(03:44):
day.
So, whether you're single, in arelationship or in that it's
complicated phase, this is foryou.
So thank you for showing up foryourself and for this community
.
Remember, this wasn't just thelaunch of the authentic life.
It was the launch of somethingthat might just change your life
.
(04:04):
Now let's get into it.
All right.
So let's start by breaking downwhat self-love actually means,
because society has fed us thisidea that self-love is just face
masks, going on vacations andtreating yourself to something
nice and don't get me wrong,self-care is part of it.
(04:24):
But self-love, that thing, runsso much deeper.
Self-love is choosing yourself,even when it's hard.
Self-love is setting boundaries, even when it makes others
uncomfortable.
Self-love is speaking toyourself with the same kindness
you give to others.
Self-love is holding yourselfaccountable without tearing
(04:48):
yourself down.
And self-love is knowing thatyou are already enough, without
needing external validation fromanybody.
And here's the kicker Self-loveis a practice.
It is not a destination youmagically arrive at.
A practice.
It is not a destination youmagically arrive at.
It's something you have tochoose every single day, in the
way you talk to yourself, thedecisions you make and the
(05:12):
energy you allow into your life.
Think about it.
How often do we look to otherpeople for the love and
validation we should be givingourselves?
We wait for someone else totell us we're beautiful before
we believe it.
We wait for someone else tochoose us.
Before we feel worthy, we waitfor permission to take up space.
(05:34):
But here's the truth you don'tneed permission to love yourself
.
The only validation you need isyour own.
Now let me tell you about a timewhen I had to really check
myself when it came to self-love.
There was a point in my lifewhere I realized I was pouring
so much into everything andeveryone else work,
(05:55):
relationships, commitments but Iwas always leaving myself last.
I thought I was handling it,but I started noticing how tired
I always felt, how I wasn'tshowing up as my best self in
some situations and how I feltresentful when people didn't
pour back into me the way I waspouring into them.
(06:15):
And you know what?
One day I had a moment where Ihad to stop and ask myself am I
treating myself the way I wantothers to treat me?
Ask myself am I treating myselfthe way I want others to treat
me?
If I wasn't loving myself theway I deserve, how could I
expect anybody else to do that?
That's when I knew I had tomake a shift, not just in what I
was doing, but in how I wasbeing with myself, and that's
(06:40):
when my self-love practicereally started.
Now let that sink in.
If you're waiting for externalvalidation before you even start
seeing your own worth, you arealways going to be waiting.
So let's talk about how toshift that thing Now.
(07:00):
Let's be real we are our ownworst enemy when it comes to
self-love.
We say we want to loveourselves, but then we stay in
spaces and relationships thatmake us shrink ourselves.
We beat ourselves up for notbeing perfect.
We compare our journey toeverybody else's journey.
We even ignore our own needs toplease other people.
(07:22):
We accept the bare minimumbecause we're afraid of being
alone or some other reason.
Does that sound familiar?
We've all been there.
But self-love is aboutrecognizing these patterns and
making the decision to choosedifferently.
So let's break a few of thesedown.
Let's start with staying inspaces that don't honor you.
(07:44):
If you constantly have to dimyour light to make others
comfortable, that's not love.
That's self-abandonment.
Self-love means choosing to bein environments that nourish you
, not deplete you.
And let me tell you, I had tolearn this one the hard way.
There was a time when I foundmyself shrinking in a situation
(08:06):
whether it was a relationship ina workspace or sometimes even
in my friendships where I wasn'tbeing valued in the way I
should have been.
I told myself I was beingpatient, or that if I just
showed up a little different, ifI just proved my worth one more
time, things would shift.
And the thing is I knew better.
Things would shift, and thething is, I knew better.
(08:29):
I teach this stuff.
But that's the thing aboutself-love Knowing what you
deserve and actually choosing itare two totally different
things.
So one day I had to sit withmyself and ask why am I holding
on to this?
And the answer wasn't pretty.
You know, sometimes that thingis about fear.
May it be, fear of being alone,fear of the change that's going
(08:51):
to come with releasing thatthing, fear of admitting to
yourself that what I was holdingon to wasn't even holding on to
me, and having to sit in thatand acknowledge that thing.
And let me tell you, walkingaway is always hard, but it be
so necessary, because when youchoose to stay in spaces that
(09:13):
don't honor you, you're tellingyourself that you don't deserve
more, and self-love is aboutknowing that you do.
So.
I want you to ask yourselfright now is there a space in
your life where you're shrinking, where you're staying because
it's familiar, even though youknow it's not feeding you?
And if so, what would it looklike if you choose you instead
(09:36):
Now?
The next one I want to talkabout is negative self-talk.
If the way you talk to yourselfin your head were played out
loud, would you say those thingsto your mother, your sister,
your best friend?
Probably not.
Then why are you saying them toyou?
Self-love means speaking lifeinto yourself and giving
(09:58):
yourself the same grace andcompassion that you give other
people.
I know I'm not the only one whohas picked themselves apart
based off of certain situationsand things that are going on in
your life.
You should be further alone.
You should have figured thisout by now.
You should be doing more.
Why are you still here?
(10:19):
Why are you dealing with that?
That should voice.
It's the enemy of self-love.
But let me tell you somethingI've learned the way you talk to
yourself matters.
Your words create your reality.
So if you wouldn't say it tosomeone you love, it has no
place in how you speak toyourself.
I challenge you this week Catchyourself when that negative
(10:41):
self-talk starts creeping in.
Pause, reframe and starttalking to yourself like you
would talk to someone that youactually love.
Now this last one, lord,accepting the bare minimum If
you have to convince someone tosee your worth.
That's not love, sweetheart.
(11:02):
That's a lesson, and it's onethat self-love will teach you to
stop repeating and listen.
I get it.
When you care about somebody,whether it's a partner, a friend
or even an employer, it's easyto think.
If they just see how much Ibring to the table, things will
change.
(11:22):
But self-love is about that.
Your worth isn't up fornegotiation and you might just
be the table.
So if you're acceptingbreadcrumbs when you deserve the
whole meal, I need you to askyourself why?
And, more importantly, whatwould it look like if I stopped?
(11:43):
Think about the ways you mightbe sabotaging your own self-love
and, more importantly, whatwould it look like if you just
stopped?
Now that we've talked about theways we sabotage our own
self-love, let's take it a stepfurther, because the way we
treat ourselves doesn't justimpact us.
(12:06):
It directly influences.
The way we treat ourselvesdoesn't just impact us.
It directly influences therelationships we attract and the
energy we allow into our lives.
You ever notice how the way youtreat yourself can sometimes
set the standard for how otherstreat you.
That's not a coincidence.
That's probably a reflection.
You see, the relationships weattract may they be romantic
(12:29):
friendships or even professionaloften mirror the way we show up
for ourselves.
If you neglect your own needs,sometimes you are likely to
attract people who takeadvantage of that.
If you struggle with self-worth, you might find yourself drawn
to people who reinforce thoseinsecurities instead of lifting
(12:51):
you up.
But when you love yourselffully, you stop settling for
relationships that don't honoryou.
Think about it.
Have you ever noticed that whenyou're in a season of
self-doubt, you tend to attractpeople who validate that doubt
rather than challenge you togrow?
Or maybe you've acceptedrelationships where you do all
(13:16):
the giving because deep down youdon't fully believe you deserve
to receive the same energy inreturn, to receive the same
energy in return.
On the flip side, when you'refully in your self-love bag,
when you're walking inconfidence, setting boundaries,
choosing yourself, do youattract people who respect that?
(13:40):
You see, I had to learn thisthe hard way.
As I've said many times, therewere times that I have found,
and still find myself giving somuch to people who do not pour
back into me and I reallycouldn't figure out why do I
keep ending up in these samesituations?
But I use the same principlethat I use with other people.
(14:04):
When you keep going through thesame thing, dealing with the
same thing, you got to figureout what's that common
denominator, and a lot of timesthat common denominator is you,
because, see, sometimes we don'tprioritize ourselves.
We don't even require the samething from other people that we
(14:27):
pour into them.
So how can I expect otherpeople to prioritize me or put
me first, when I'm not evendoing it?
We see your relationships are amirror.
If you're constantly feelingdrained by the people in your
life, take a step back and askhow am I treating myself?
Am I constantly giving toothers but never prioritizing my
(14:50):
own needs?
Do I let people walk all overmy boundaries because I struggle
to enforce them?
Am I seeking love andvalidation from others before I
even give it to myself?
The energy you put intoyourself sends a message to the
world about what you will andwon't accept at the end of the
(15:10):
day.
When you love yourself deeply,you don't entertain connections
that diminish you.
You recognize when someone'spresence is draining rather than
nourishing and you moveaccordingly.
Here's the shift when yourespect yourself, you stop
tolerating disrespect.
When you prioritize yourself,you stop chasing people who make
(15:34):
you an option.
When you love yourself, youstop seeking validation from
people who were never meant togive it to you in the first
place.
Here's a quick exercise I wantyou to do.
I want you to reflect on yourrelationships for a moment.
Grab a journal or just take amental note and ask yourself
(15:57):
which relationships in my lifefeel nourishing?
Where do I feel valued, seenand supported?
Which relationships feeldraining?
Where am I constantlyoverextending, people-pleasing
or compromising my own needs?
(16:19):
What small act of self-love canI commit today that will help
me attract the kind of energy Ideserve?
You might be surprised at whatcomes up and listen.
This isn't about blame orcutting people off just for the
sake of it.
This is about awareness,because once you become aware,
(16:42):
you can start making choicesthat align with the love and
respect you truly deserve.
So I want you to ask yourselfwhat do my relationships say
about the way I love myself?
And if the answer makes youpause, good, that means it's
time for you to make a change.
(17:10):
Okay, so now that we've talkedabout how self-love impacts the
relationships we attract, weneed to shift it on back to us,
because here's the thing so manyof us are out here, waiting for
someone else to validate usbefore we give ourselves
permission to feel worthy.
But self-love means knowingthat you are the only validation
you actually really need.
So let's get real for a second.
(17:31):
How many times have you caughtyourself waiting for someone
else to tell you you're goodenough before you believe it?
What about waiting for someoneto recognize your hard work
before you feel accomplished?
Waiting for a compliment beforeyou feel beautiful?
(17:55):
Waiting for someone to chooseyou before you see yourself as
worthy?
It's like we're holding ourself-worth hostage, waiting for
outside approval to set us free.
But let me tell you somethingIf you keep looking for
(18:16):
validation from people, jobs,relationships, even social media
, you will always be chasing it,because external validation is
temporary, it fades, it shiftsand if that's the only thing
holding your confidence together, what happens when it's gone?
(18:37):
One thing I stress to myself andto others when I look in the
mirror every day, I don't careif I'm having a good day, a bad
day or whatever kind of day.
One thing I'm going to say isgirl, you pop, you look good,
you beautiful, all the things.
I am never going to wait onsomebody else to tell me that
(19:00):
I'm beautiful.
I can't wait on somebody elseto tell me that I do a good job,
that my hard work should berecognized.
But you see, we all got tolearn this lesson, because there
is always a time when weoverwork ourselves, we overgive
in relationships, we overextendin friendships and a lot of
(19:23):
times, deep down, it's becausewe're waiting for validation.
We want someone to see ourvalue and acknowledge it.
But you see, the real shiftcomes when you realize what am I
waiting for someone else torecognize what I already know?
But here's the truth no oneelse's approval will ever be
(19:48):
enough if you haven't given itto yourself first.
You don't need permission totake up space, you just should
do it.
You don't need to earn lovefrom nobody because you are love
.
So how do you start validatingyourself instead of waiting for
(20:10):
others to do it for you?
First?
You're going to acknowledgeyour own wins, big and small.
You are going to stop waitingfor someone else to clap for you
If you did something you'reproud of, celebrate yourself.
You finished that project, giveyourself credit.
You set a boundary.
Acknowledge that growth.
Your wins matter even when noone else is watching.
(20:34):
Second, speak life intoyourself every single day.
Self-validation starts with theway you talk to yourself.
Instead of waiting for someoneelse to say you look good today,
do what I do.
Get in the mirror and say ityourself.
Girl, you pop.
Instead of waiting for someoneelse to tell you, instead of
(20:56):
waiting for someone to say I'mproud of you, say I'm proud of
me.
Words matter and the way youspeak to yourself sets the tone
for your confidence.
Stop looking for likes andapprovals to confirm your worth.
Listen, we live in a worldwhere social media can trick us
into believing that our value istied to numbers, likes,
comments and engagement.
(21:17):
But your worth isn't measuredby an algorithm.
It's measured by how you feelabout yourself when that
telephone is off.
Trust yourself, your voice,your decisions, your intuition.
The more you trust your ownjudgment, the less you need
outside approval.
(21:37):
Make a decision and stand 10toes in it.
That means stand by it.
For people that don't know whatthat means, trust that you know
what's best for you.
The more you validate your ownthoughts, the less you need
somebody else to co-sign it foryou.
Lastly, look in the mirror andsee yourself.
Really see yourself.
(21:58):
This ties to the power ofmirror work, which I'll talk to
you about in a few, but I wantyou to take a moment to just see
yourself.
Not just your appearance, butyou, the person you are, the
person you've grown into, andrecognize that you are enough,
exactly as you are.
(22:19):
Let that sink in.
You do not need to wait forsomeone else to tell you that
you are valuable, worthy andenough.
You already are.
The only question is are youready to believe it?
All right?
(22:44):
Now that we've called out thepatterns, let's talk about how
to actually build self-love,because this is where the real
work happens.
So here are five ways to startbuilding hashtag the self-love
life.
The first one speak to yourselfwith love and respect.
Catch yourself when negativeself-talk creeps in, instead of
(23:04):
saying I'm stupid for makingthat mistake.
Try, I'm learning, and mistakesare part of the process, so try
this.
The next time you catchyourself saying something
negative about yourself, pause,take a deep breath, say would I
say this to my best friend, ifnot, reframe it into something
(23:25):
kinder.
Number two set boundaries andhonor them.
Boundaries are self-love andaction.
Stop saying yes when you reallymean no.
Stop overextending yourself.
Stop overexplaining yourself.
Stop letting people have accessto you just because they want
(23:46):
it.
I used to struggle with thisone and probably still do,
especially in work and myrelationships.
I feel guilty for saying no, asif setting a boundary meant I
was letting somebody down.
But I had to learn.
Every time I said yes to thingsthat drain me, I was saying no
to myself, and if I wasn'thonoring my own needs, how can I
(24:09):
expect anybody else to honorthose needs?
So I want you to try this Set aboundary this week.
It can be big or it can besmall.
Maybe it's just telling afriend hey, I can't talk right
now, but let's check in tomorrow.
Or don't check your work emailsafter a certain time.
Notice how it feels, just tochoose yourself.
(24:30):
The third one is aboutcelebrating yourself out loud.
So if you know me, you know Ilove love.
So that's why self-love onValentine's Day is a wonderful
thing and I expect people tocelebrate me out loud.
But I'm going to celebrate meout loud.
I love me some meat.
(24:51):
I love time with me.
I love spending time by myselfwith me.
I like me a lot.
So stop waiting for somebodyelse to clap for you.
Honey.
Did you accomplish something?
Acknowledge it, celebrate it.
Did you show up for yourselftoday?
Celebrate that thing, what Iwant you to do every night this
(25:12):
week is write down one thing youdid well.
It doesn't have to be huge.
Maybe you got out of bed on atough day, maybe you spoke up in
a meeting, maybe you took timeto rest, maybe you said all the
things that you needed to say tosomebody and not cared what
they had to say or feel aboutthe thing, because you have been
holding that stuff in.
Self-love is built in the smallmoments, so celebrate those
(25:37):
things.
So this week I want you to keepnote.
Every day this week, write downone thing you did well.
This is my other favorite one.
Number four is date yourself.
You just.
I just said I love me, some me.
I'm gonna tell you now I loveme, some me.
But getting to the place ofloving me, some me, took a lot
of healing, a lot of therapy andgetting to a place of being
(26:04):
okay by myself, like embracingand spending time with just me
and enjoying that time.
So that's why I like the dateyourself so much, because,
whether you're single or not,take yourself out, treat
yourself the way you wantsomeone else to treat you.
(26:24):
Show yourself what it means tobe loved, because the thing is,
if I love on me.
I can recognize when somebodynot loving on me Right.
I may not always deal with itor handle it in the appropriate
time frame and do all the thingsthat need to happen, but at the
end of the day, if I can showmyself what it means to love me
when I'm not being loved byfamily, friends, a partner,
(26:48):
whatever it's easy for me torecognize.
There was a time when I didn'teven realize I was waiting for
someone else to make me feelspecial.
I would put all this effortinto making sure other people
felt seen and cared for, butwhen it came to me I was just
existing.
If you know me, I am team extra.
So if it's your birthday oranything, I'm going to go above
(27:11):
and beyond to demonstrate mycare and my love.
But one day I took myself out ona solo date.
I ordered my favorite meal, Idid a couple of other little
things and I just enjoyed my owncompany.
And that was a game changerbecause I realized if I can
create joy for myself, I'llnever have to rely on anyone
(27:35):
else to do it for me.
So I'll tell people.
Let's be clear I may not havejoy in this right now, but
outside of this.
I got a whole bunch of joybecause I like me, I like me a
lot.
So date yourself.
Get to a place where you me, Ilike me a lot.
So date yourself.
Get to a place where you say Ilike me a lot.
There's nothing wrong with that, there's nothing wrong with
saying that.
So take yourself out on a date.
(27:58):
It can be as simple as going toget some coffee.
Just go to Starbucks, have aseat, drink you some coffee.
Go to a movie, go to a bar.
Go get you a meal, take a longwalk with music.
Just spend some time with youand getting to know you and who
you are and how you show up inthis world.
Right?
Number five choose yourself,even when it's hard.
(28:22):
I just said that I love me,some me.
You want to know why I feel so.
Okay saying that Because, atthe end of the day, we are
allowed to be the main characterin our own life.
Self-love is about choosing you,even when it's uncomfortable,
even when it means walking awayfrom something that no longer
(28:42):
serves you.
So if there's something you'vebeen putting off because you're
afraid of what people will thinklike wearing that outfit, wear
that outfit, girl or fellowApply for that job.
Tell somebody how you reallyfeel.
Do it all anyway, becausechoosing yourself is a practice,
(29:10):
and the more you do it, thestronger the muscle gets.
So pick one of these and starttoday, because the way you love
yourself sets the tone for howothers will love you.
Okay, I gave you strategies,but I got one more.
(29:30):
You know, one of the mostpowerful self-love practices
I've ever tried, and one that Istill use, is mirror work.
If you've never heard of it,mirror work is a simple but
transformative act of looking atyourself in the mirror and
speaking love into yourself.
And before you roll your eyes,hear me out.
Most of us yourself in themirror and speaking love into
yourself and before you rollyour eyes, hear me out.
(29:51):
Most of us look in the mirrorevery single day, but how often
do we really see ourselves?
How often do we acknowledge ourown presence, meet our own gaze
and then say something nice,say something kind?
Instead, we generally pickourselves apart.
(30:12):
We focus on what we don't like,what we need to change or what
we think isn't good enough.
But what if, instead ofcriticism, we chose compassion?
So here's how you do it youfind a mirror you stand in front
of it, you look yourself in theeyes, you take a deep breath,
(30:37):
then you say something loving toyourself.
Maybe it's as simple as I loveyou.
Maybe it's I'm proud of you.
Maybe it's you are worthy justas you are.
And if this feels awkward oruncomfortable, that means you
(30:58):
need this, because self-loveisn't just a thought.
It's because self-love is apractice.
It's something you do, it'ssomething you reinforce, it's
something you commit to everysingle day.
When you first start, you mayfeel silly.
(31:21):
You might even struggle to saythe words out loud, and that's
okay.
That discomfort, thatresistance it's a sign that this
practice is exactly what youneed, because somewhere along
the way, you may have learned tobe kinder to others than you
are to yourself.
(31:41):
But the relationship you havewith you is the longest
relationship you'll ever be in,so why not make it one built on
love, respect and care?
Now I want you to take thisbeyond just a one-time thing.
Try this every morning or everynight for a week.
Make it a habit and notice howyour energy shifts.
(32:04):
And, if you want it, you wantto take it deeper.
Write down three affirmationsthat feel personal to you.
Say them to yourself every dayin the mirror.
Instead of pointing out whatyou don't like about your
reflection, say one thing youlove about what you see Smile at
yourself.
(32:25):
It might sound simple, butthere's something powerful about
giving yourself that moment ofwarmth and acknowledgement,
because the truth is, the moreyou pour love into yourself, the
less you'll need to seek itelsewhere, and when you truly
see yourself, the world will too.
(32:47):
So here's my challenge for youStand in front of that mirror
today.
Speak love to yourself, and ifit feels hard, keep doing it
till it doesn't.
So it's Valentine's Day, and Ididn't want to give y'all a
super long episode, because whenit comes to self-love, I don't
(33:11):
have to press that.
I don't want to press that.
I want you to choose you.
So here's my challenge for youthis Valentine's Day, though,
choose you.
I know it's lover's day andit's all about the booze.
I want y'all to celebrate y'allbooze.
If you got a booze, celebrateyour booze.
I hope your booze celebratesyou too.
But in the midst of that, Ineed you to be choosing you.
(33:35):
Do something today that reflectsself-love, whether speaking to
yourself kindly, setting aboundary or just taking a moment
to acknowledge your own worth.
Show up for yourself today, andif you said I'm in at the start
of this episode, I want to seeit.
Tag me, dm me or comment onthis episode.
(33:58):
Let's hold each otheraccountable to this self-love
thing.
And don't forget self-loveisn't a one-day thing, it's a
lifestyle.
So keep this energy goingbeyond today.
Keep making choices that honoryou, keep reminding yourself
(34:18):
that you are enough.
I do have a quick, a few quickreminders before you go.
If you love this episode, makesure to subscribe, rate and
leave a review, because the morewe spread this message, the
more people can step into theirown self-love journey.
Follow me on Instagram,linkedin and other social medias
(34:42):
for more self-love mindsets andreal-life conversations, and
turn on your notifications soyou don't miss an episode,
because next week we're divinginto something new.
And if you're looking for aquick boost of self-love to
start your weekend, don't forgetthe last episode.
We released the authenticminutes, so I'll be sharing a
(35:03):
powerful quote and threeaffirmations to set energy right
for the days ahead.
Now, if you are a subscriber, Ido have some subscriber-only
content dropping next week.
That's right.
If you subscribe, you'll getearly access to next week's
episode, plus some exclusivehighlights and extras just for
you.
So if you haven't subscribedyet, now's the time, but until
(35:25):
next time, remember the loveyou're looking for.
It starts with you.
Have an amazing day.
Peace, love and blessings fromyour girl Keisha.
Well, folks, the episode hascome to an end.
Thank you for hanging out withme on the Authentic Life.
If you loved today's episode,don't forget to subscribe,
because subscribing it's justlike an instant invite to more
(35:47):
fun, to more inspiration and tomore authentic vibes.
I could also use a review, soleave a review or share this
with someone that you feel needsa little inspiration.
But whatever you do, let'sspread the joy of the authentic
life.
Remember this your authenticself is your greatest gift to
the world, and no one shouldever make you feel like you
(36:08):
aren't.
Until next time, stay true,stay bold and keep living the
authentic life.
Peace, love and blessings fromyour girl Keisha.
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