November 10, 2025 • 41 mins
Our team thought it a great idea to start rewinding previous (but timely) episodes of our show during the times that Mista Yu is away from the microphone. All of these beautiful Blasts from the Past were previously broadcast, but we are sharing them with you at a time when you might need them most. Hope you enjoy the review!
Networking is more than a business activity—it's something we all do every day, whether we realize it or not, and understanding our role is essential to our success and the success of others.
• The true definition of networking: the action of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts
• Are you a door (means of access and opportunity) or a wall (where good ideas stop)?
• Active listening is essential for successful networking—many fail because they don't truly hear others
• Three types of networkers: those who make you stop, slow down, or go—which one are you?
• Your network reflects who you are—you tend to connect with people similar to yourself
• The common denominator in all your networking interactions is you—take responsibility for the connections you create
Text Mista Yu with your questions and feedback. Time for a mirror check before you go change the world.
Have a question for Mista Yu? Text the show and he’ll answer it personally.
Thank you for listening to the They Call Me Mista Yu brand of podcasts! We love hearing from you! We're available wherever you enjoy your podcasts, audio or video! Thanks again for watching and listening!
Hope you enjoyed our broadcast! If you would like to, or know someone who would like to be connected to Mista Yu as a future guest on one of our shows or to have him on your show or you think he's the perfect fit to be your new High Performance Coach, visit our page here: https://theycallmemistayu.wixsite.com/they-call-me-mista-y
We can't wait to hear from you!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Thanks again for listening to one-on-one with Mr
U and your Inspiration Station.
I'm really excited abouttoday's episode and a chance to
share another compelling storywith all of you that I really
hope changes your tomorrow.
Let's not waste another minute,let's get into it.
On this podcast, we're talkingnetworking and the part you play
(00:22):
in your own success.
Now some might be tempted totune out because you don't have
a business right now or youdon't see yourself as a
professional.
Don't you do it?
Before this podcast episodeends, you'll approach every
engagement, every interactionand networking opportunity from
a place of power and confidence,and you'll hopefully see what I
now see.
We do this every single day andprobably didn't even know it.
(00:45):
We're going to break down theidea of networking all the way
to its lowest common denominator.
Yeah, that's you.
That and more on this episodeof they Call Me Mr you, which
starts right now.
What's up everybody?
(01:05):
Welcome back to the All PurposePod for an all-purpose life.
You know what we do.
We get a weekly mirror checkbefore you go change the world,
baby, and I'm your coach, mr YuHa.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
(01:36):
Welcome back to the all-purposepod for an all-purpose life
with your weekly mirror checkbefore you go, change the world.
Wherever you are today andhowever you're listening to our
podcast.
Thank you for making a Call Me,mr you, part of your morning,
your day and your week.
Let's get it.
(01:57):
I'm so excited about this topicyou know I had it all wrong,
like so many probably do and itgoes so much further than just
an entry in a dictionaryNetworking, the power of
networking, what part we play.
We're going to jump into it all.
You know I, like many,originally thought it was
(02:23):
something that was done by thosewho had a business, or I
thought it was.
You know, just the work ofprofessionals People hobnobbing
and trying to get an edge andtrying to get a new client.
And networking is so much morepowerful than that.
It goes a lot deeper.
I know we talk about socialmedia a lot because it's where I
(02:46):
see some of the craziest thingsand some of the weirdest trends
, but also the consistentbehavior of us as humans.
I see it played out.
That's why I talk about socialmedia so much, but it's a place
where we're supposed to be ableto go and network.
We'll get into what networkingactually means as we get into
(03:10):
the episode.
But I got a question for you.
I want you to think about rightnow and even going into the end
of the episode and even beyondAre you a door?
Something for you to thinkabout this morning that I think
has relevance.
No matter where you are in yourlife, it doesn't matter what
you do for a living, it doesn'tmatter what your career goals
and aspirations are, it doesn'tmatter.
(03:32):
This question is still relevant.
If you're a human being thatlives and moves and breathes,
this question is for you.
This question, hopefully, willmatter to you by the end of this
episode.
Are you a door?
A door is described or definedspecifically as a means of
(03:53):
access or participation.
A door is also defined as anopportunity for success.
You heard the definition.
The question still stands Areyou a door?
Are you a means of access orparticipation?
Are you an opportunity forsuccess for yourself or for
(04:15):
someone else?
Are you a door or are you awall?
Are you where all good ideasand opportunities stop and come
to a grinding halt when goodnews or opportunities are shared
and it's something that'sawesome, that can benefit other
people.
When it gets to you, does it goany further than you?
(04:37):
Is it because of how you feelabout yourself or others that it
can't go any further, that goodnews comes to a grinding halt.
We network every single day,whether we're professionals,
regardless of our vocation, andwe don't even know it.
I want to talk about thatbecause more important than
(04:58):
entrepreneurship, more importantthan business, is the everyday
opportunities we have to network, and where we see ourselves,
how we view ourselves, has animpact on the success of that or
not, and this isn't allinclusive.
There are a few common reasonsfor epic fails when it comes to
(05:21):
networking.
One thing I've learned is thatthe networker is not an active
listener.
We discussed that here andthere on some episodes
previously, but the networker isnot an active listener.
Now, whoever's pitching an idea, they want to make that sale.
Get that point across.
Close that deal.
And yes, the object of thiseffort is a living, breathing
(05:42):
person, but it doesn't mean thatthey're a candidate for this.
They may have different needs,different goals in life.
Close that deal.
And yes, the object of thiseffort is a living, breathing
person, but it doesn't mean thatthey're a candidate for this.
They may have different needs,different goals in life.
They may see their future in adifferent way than you might
think they should be seeing it,one of the epic fails in
networking is that the networkeris not an active listener.
They don't hear what the personis saying to them, or even the
(06:03):
nonverbal cues, what they're notsaying.
They're not paying that muchattention because all they have
on their mind is to make thatpoint to close that deal.
Don't forget, we're not reallytalking about business.
We're talking about humanbeings, human behavior and the
idea of networking that we doevery single day.
(06:25):
Don't forget that.
Number two the networker maystruggle with their own belief.
Now, just because you havemouths to feed, it doesn't mean
that you believe in the productor the service that you want to
share or get someone to supportyou in or purchase from you.
It doesn't mean that you'reconvinced that you believe
(06:45):
yourself capable of even sellingthis.
I've met some folks like thatwithin the past few months.
They got mouths to feed andthey got a big family and they
got heavy obligations on theirshoulders.
Guess what they don't have?
Belief, they may just bedesperate.
Belief, they may just bedesperate.
(07:10):
But if the person who is theso-called networker in this
scenario doesn't have beliefeven in themselves, much less
their product or service thatthey're trying to render, what
kind of success can they reallyhave at the end of the day?
And number three the network isaware the network network,
excuse me is aware that they'retalking to a human being, but
they don't understand humannature.
It's kind of like what wetalked about last week regarding
(07:35):
fishing.
You can be a person who needsto have fish in their life.
They need to have fish on theirtable.
They need to have it.
But if they don't understandthe behavior of the fish, if
they don't get how the fishoperate, how they respond, what
(08:00):
scares them, what entices them,it doesn't matter how long they
stay on that boat with that baitin the water.
They may not catch what theycame here to find.
The networker has to be awarethat they're talking to a human
being and still understand humannature.
I think we're going to comeback to that one later on, but
(08:23):
just some thoughts to thinkabout.
But what is networking?
Networking literally means theaction or process of interacting
with others to exchangeinformation and services and to
develop professional or socialcontacts.
I'm going to read it againbecause I want you to hear
something there, something there.
(08:45):
Networking literally means theaction or process of interacting
with others to exchangeinformation and services and to
develop professional or socialcontacts.
Now, I don't know what youheard, but what I heard was
something that goes beyondbusiness.
It's talking about the veryessence of who we are as humans
the ability to interact, toexchange information, to share
(09:09):
things with other people Beforewe even get to the professional
part.
It's talking about being socialand it's the reason why mediums
like Facebook and Twitter andInstagram, why they work the way
they do, why they have thelevel of success that they've
had it wasn't because everybodybought their best good and their
(09:33):
best service to sell it inthese areas.
That's not why.
It's the social aspect, theability to interact with each
other, to exchange information,to share stories, to encourage,
to inspire that's what makesthose mediums good.
Most of us really don't likewhat they've become, but that's
the reason why networking isgood and why it's effective when
(09:57):
used properly.
So how much of that are you ableto do successfully without the
other party's support orparticipation?
The answer is none.
You can't interact with others,exchange information, be social
, develop contacts,relationships and friendships
without the other party'ssupport.
Stay with us, we'll be rightback.
(10:23):
Hey guys, it's Mr U.
You know how much Mr U loveshis coffee.
I think I found the answer forall you guys that are health
conscious but still love coffeeStrong Coffee Company 15 grams
of high quality protein.
Check Sustained energythroughout the day.
Check no jitters and crashes.
Check Stress reliever likeashwagandha for your morning
commute.
Check and double check.
(10:43):
It's also good for your skin.
Come on now, a healthyalternative that actually tastes
good.
I've arranged the highestexclusive discount for my
listeners.
Use the promo codestrongcoffeecompanycom forward
slash discount.
Forward slash TCMMY.
That's what they call me, Mr UStrongcoffeecompanycom forward
slash discount.
Forward slash TCMMY.
(11:05):
The link is also in the shownotes.
Check out Strong Coffee.
Let me know what you think.
There are plenty of articlesand podcasts that can tell you
how to network and how muchit'll cost you.
I prefer to offer morepractical applications to help
you in your professional growth,in your personal growth.
(11:27):
I got a friend that's probablylistening to this right now, so
I'm prepared to have some ofthis story edited.
But one of my good friends tookme fishing a couple of years ago
and it was served only as mysecond time fishing in my entire
life, the first time I reallywasn't involved.
I was a little bit too young toreally appreciate what I was
(11:50):
being taught, so I don't reallycount that as my first time, but
admittedly, I was much moreinvested than the first time the
second time I went out, but itdidn't make the task any less
daunting for me.
We went out to the beach forhours right before sunrise, and
I asked a lot of questions thatday.
I was really curious.
A lot of questions.
(12:11):
I was talking a lot.
Every single thing my frienddid, from arranging the bait to
casting his line, was met withabout at least two or three
questions for me.
I was soaking in everything Icould.
I might even have types ofnotes into my cell phone,
because I didn't have pen andpaper once the sun came up.
Now, I didn't think I'd be anavid fisherman, I just wanted to
(12:32):
be successful.
I wanted to catch some fish,bring some fish home and cook
them, work on some new recipes.
I had in mind the fact that Iwas hungry was totally unrelated
.
Now I mimicked everything myfriend did.
I mean, why not?
He was successful at it.
He did this a hundred hundredsof times.
(12:52):
He'd be the first one to tellyou, though, that he doesn't
always have good days.
He doesn't always go home witha lot of fish, but rarely does
he deviate from the appropriatetechniques.
But rarely does he deviate fromthe appropriate techniques.
He's diligent about it, aboutdoing the right things,
adjusting where necessary, andwe did that quite a few times
(13:15):
while we were on the beach.
I learned how to place the wormon the hook and catch the fish
when they sometimes get out ofthe bucket and try to scamper
away.
Those are two of the most orleast desirable parts of that
time together.
If I'm being honest, I didn'tenjoy either one of those two
things.
I don't know why I didn't enjoythat, but setting, baiting,
(13:42):
casting, wading, catching,reeling all these skills are
required for any level ofsuccess in fishing.
Patience and practice those arethe biggest takeaways that I
had.
But knowing the fish you'retrying to catch is the
intangible that some people maynot care about or take the time
to learn.
Understanding behaviors,understanding mindset,
understanding nature.
I realized that when that timeI spent all those hours out on
(14:04):
the beach, I realized that therewere so many different fish
that we saw that we caught.
But they react so differently.
They respond so different fromone another.
They respond to the baitdifferently.
They respond to the movement inthe water differently.
They respond to all thedifferent stimuli differently.
(14:26):
They're not the same.
They all fish, without a doubt.
They're all in the fish family,but they don't all respond the
same.
Let's be honest.
I heard people say this before,but a lot of fishing is like
luck or chance.
I heard the same thing abouthunting and other sports.
You might catch something, youmight catch something, you might
(14:47):
catch nothing.
Now, whether you buy this ornot, if you don't know the
behavior of the fish you want tocatch, you are least likely to
catch anything.
Think of the imagery of theocean.
Can you imagine how manydifferent types of fish reside
in that vast pool of water?
We caught several fish and threwthem back because it wasn't
(15:08):
what we were trying to go outthere to find.
We had a specific fish that wewent out there to catch.
Now I don't know any fishermenthat have the goal to catch
anything available.
They go out into the water withthe intention to catch specific
excuse me, specific kind offish, specific excuse me,
specific kind of fish.
Fish they can sell, or fishthey can eat, or fish so big it
would get them some kind ofprestigious honor or award or
(15:31):
their picture in the paper, butthey never want to catch just
anything making sense so far.
Do you see the parallels?
Remember what I said earlierthis isn't completely about
business.
Remember how effective wouldthe two of us have been had we
ran out into the waters andfuriously grabbed at anything
(15:53):
moving, hoping to catch a fish.
What do the fish you want tocatch like?
What kind of waters do the fishswim in?
My friend and I had to considerall those things before heading
out there.
Happy side story though my firstlegit effort in fishing I
caught 23 bluefish.
I threw back a few and someother kind of fish.
(16:17):
I think I had a shark but wedidn't reel him in.
I lost several fish out there,probably more than a dozen,
probably closer to 15, maybe 20fish.
Imagine had I caught those.
But the good part was I caughtfish.
It didn't matter if I had anumber that I met or I caught
(16:38):
everything that I attempted tocatch.
I caught some fish.
There were times my line brokeand there was even times I
believed that other fish ate thefish that I had on the hook.
I can tell that because when Iwould reel something in, I would
have a part of a fish there andnot the whole fish where bite
marks on it.
True story Not bad huh 23bluefish on my first legit time
(17:03):
out fishing.
I attribute that to my friend'swisdom, his knowledge, his
patience in teaching me, butalso in my ability to to learn,
my ability to listen, my abilityto interact.
Why am I sharing that storytoday?
If I had a hunting story, Iwould have shared that one too,
(17:24):
but the premise is still thesame.
Networking, in my opinion, isnot fishing.
There may be some similarities,but networking requires more of
us than just our time and theuse of some bait.
I asked you earlier if you werea door or wall.
Now, one allows passage intosuccess for other people and the
(17:46):
other is a roadblock throughwhich no one can pass, and
connection with said wall is theequivalent to a dead-end street
.
There's an old saying that Itry to live by, and that's to
make every situation that I'm apart of or connected to better
(18:07):
than it was before I arrived.
Think about that in terms ofnetworking.
Think about that in terms ofyour Facebook page and your
Twitter page, your Instagramfeed.
Think about that.
Do you make the situationbetter than it was before you
got there?
Is it better because you'rethere.
Something to think about.
(18:28):
Networking is not just offeringsomething you think the other
person wants and create anadvantageous atmosphere where
you think you can get them totake or buy or invest in
something.
That kind of had that ickysalesman coming to your door to
sell you a vacuum cleaner kindof feel, yeah, that doesn't work
.
I've seen that up close andit's really weird.
(18:49):
They want to come in your houseand make a mess and then clean
it up with theirstate-of-the-art vacuum cleaner.
Look at it around your house,want to know about your finances
, try to scope you out, see howyou live, so they can determine
the best way to convince you tobuy their product.
Icky Ew.
Networking in actuality is aboutconnection, who you're
(19:10):
connected to, the environmentyou're attached to.
Networking is the allowance ofaccess.
You're letting people into yourlife, into your mindset to a
degree.
Now are you either closer toyour goals and dreams or are you
moving further away from them?
Have you ever taken the time tomake a list of the things you
(19:32):
want from a network?
Or do you just blindly jointhings and sign up for things,
attach yourself to groups andorganizations?
What do you want from a network?
What do you hope to achieve?
I said early on in the episodethat it's important about.
(19:53):
It's important that weunderstand who we are as people,
because that's going todetermine the kind of things
that we levitate to, the kind ofpeople that we associate
ourselves with.
Somebody said this.
I don't know.
I don't want to misquoteanybody, but somebody said that
you can tell about a person bywho their friends are, by who
they're connected with.
(20:13):
There's times I go on to mysocial media or to other groups
that I'm associated with and Ilook at some of the friendship
circles and the comments thattheir friends make.
I'm like this is not justtolerated.
This is acceptable in the sightof the person who I I look at
(20:36):
as my friend.
They can say, oh, that's not me, that's so-and-so, that's just
my friend.
No, uh-so, that's just myfriend, no, uh-uh.
What they say is acceptable toyou, it's allowable and it's
reflective of who you are,whether you want to admit that
or not.
That's why sometimes it's goodto do spring cleaning.
(21:00):
If you look at people's fees andthey post things or share
things that aren't edifying,they could be demeaning to women
, misogynistic, racist, whateverit is.
If it's on your feed and you'reconnected with it.
It sends a subtle message tosomebody who may not know.
(21:22):
Stay with us, we'll be rightback.
What's up, everybody?
It's Mr U.
You know I love hearing fromall of our viewers and listeners
.
You guys have some greatquestions.
I love it.
On every episode of the podcastthey call me Mr U.
Right at the top of our shownotes is a way you can text me
directly.
It's called fan mail.
(21:43):
Send a text to me anytime in orout of our shows with questions
, feedback, topic ideas or somekind of encouragement for the
coach, and I'll respond back toyou at the very next episode of
our show.
I'm making you a part of ourshow, so send a text, show some
love.
Ask a question fan mail.
Thanks for supporting us again.
(22:04):
We love you, we appreciate you.
Have a great day.
Enjoy the music Coach out.
One of the reasons why we avoidin so many areas is because we
don't take time to consider andevaluate, we don't self-check
and we don't keep records.
Here's a random question foryou.
(22:25):
That's not really a randomquestion what serves generations
best over long periods of time,what we remember or what we
documented?
And the answer to that questionreally isn't debatable we don't
keep records, we don't takenotes and we don't take time to
ponder, generally speaking.
So if somebody told you howimportant journaling was, for
(22:46):
example, many might say theydon't have the time or think
that it's the best thing forthem.
Maybe it's better for somebodyelse to do that.
We all need it.
We all can't rely on ourmemories because they eventually
fade.
We can't trust what we thinkall the time Our hearts deceive
us.
Now what does that have to dowith networking?
We're getting there.
Adrenaline is not just writingdown random thoughts.
(23:08):
It's the art of documentation.
It's pondering thoughts moredeeply, noting plans and goals
more effectively, weighing thepros and cons and coming to
competent conclusions.
You can take an hour to getready for a special event and
someone can look at you and gowhat are you wearing?
You can spend hours gettingready and thinking you did well.
(23:30):
But perspective can't be gainedby yourself.
You can't have perspectivealone.
You need to be anotherviewpoint.
When you write your own thoughtsand goals on paper and keep
record, you can see how it maysound to others now that it's
out of your head and out in theopen it sounds different.
Every idea sounds good andfoolproof while it's in the mind
(23:50):
of the fool, but when it's outin the open, it doesn't sound
exactly as fantastic as it didwhen it was in our cranium.
We open our mouths to share itand, yeah, it sounds different
out here now, doesn't it?
Most every success book I everread all had a few things in
(24:11):
common.
But one thing I don't think wethink about is the writing down
of ideas.
Now, this is important tonetwork.
I'm going to come back to it.
I'm not off the rails here.
Trust me.
Many, many of us are really goodtalkers and we have great
memories, so it's a universalapproach that really still
applies.
We should write down ideas andaffirmation and goals for
several reasons, but a couple ofthat.
It gives us something visuallyto look at.
(24:34):
Having reminders of what wesaid and what we did is helpful.
We can say something that wedon't even realize we uttered
and also don't realize theimpact on other people.
This gives us a strongerimpression on our minds when we
write ideas down and havesomething visually to look at.
Second thing is that it helpsus to learn and remember things
(24:54):
better.
Trusting our memories is unwise.
We are more likely to retainthis and accept it more readily
if we write down theseempowering positive thoughts,
ideas, affirmations, etc.
Etc.
Now let's connect the dots backto networking.
Now, most of the reasons why weembrace networking or look for
a viable network to shop what wehave to offer is because we
(25:20):
think we have a great idea orthe idea is legitimately really
good, but we think we know howbest to serve you, the consumer,
the average Joe or averageJoanna.
Before we go fishing for theright fish or go peopling for
the right people, we need tounderstand behavior.
I don't know any fishermenpersonally that takes the time
to address personal behaviorsbefore heading out to the lake.
(25:43):
Are they patient people?
Are they able to be at peacewith only catching half of their
goal?
Are they willing to come homewith nothing?
Are they willing to get upwhile everyone else is sleeping
to get what they need for theirfamilies?
Before you can embrace others,you have to embrace some truths
about you first.
If not, these areas are almostbound to collide with each other
(26:05):
, so there are certain kind ofpeople that can be bound to be
in your network.
Recognizing this is helpful.
I want to just backtrack.
I mentioned journaling and Italked about that because we
have all these ideas that weshare with other people.
We have all these ideas that weshare with other people before
we even really ponder what it iswe're trying to say, why we're
(26:25):
saying what we're saying.
I have this saying that I usedto post on social media all the
time and it wouldn't get onelike, but I believed it so much
and it was the truth as far as Iwas concerned, and I posted it
regularly and often because Ireally wanted to help people
think about things a little bitmore competently.
I will post that most peopleare more concerned about the
(26:50):
headline than they are thecontent.
They read the headline, theyreact.
They get in the comment sectionand they start tapping away,
never read the story, don't knowwho wrote it, Don't know why
they wrote it, don't know thereasons why it was written and
who was talking about.
All they got was the headlineand they react.
That's the nature of socialmedia as I see it today.
(27:13):
So I mentioned journaling andbeing competent about writing
ideas down, because when youwrite things down and I've seen
this many times myself I haveplans for financial things I
wanted to do in life, had myfive-year, my 10-year plan when
I wrote it down in my book and Ijournaled it.
I realized how dumb some ofthose ideas really were,
(27:35):
absolutely off the mark.
But it sounded great in my head.
But when I wrote it down it waslike ridiculous, that's not
what we need to be doing.
We need to be going.
That's not what we should bedoing, and I wish that people
will write down their thoughts,not on your Facebook page, on
(27:56):
Instagram.
I want you to write it down onpaper before they say it and
read it and listen to it.
Did that sound like somethingyou want to represent you?
Those are the kind of thoughtsI was talking about before, so I
hope that makes sense.
Ask yourself these two questionsDo you currently have a dream
or is it a wish?
It's been quoted many timesthat a goal without a plan is
(28:18):
simply a wish.
It's also been said many timesthat we can't do life alone.
Still, we ask ourselves thatfirst question.
Then we race out to make ourown plans and to add to that
goal, and we do it out of ourown intellect, our own sense of
what is good and what is best,not just for us, what we think
is good and best for otherpeople.
Imagine that the audacity, theunmitigated gall to decide
(28:41):
what's good and best for otherpeople.
Imagine that the audacity, theunmitigated gall to decide
what's good and best for otherpeople that we don't even know,
that we don't listen to.
If we're talking real today, wedon't even hear their hearts,
we don't even know what theirneeds are, but we decide what's
good and best for them.
Imagine that we don't yet seethe value of connection and
(29:01):
mentorship and wise counsel.
We're still trying to be soloagents, trying to do it on our
own.
I used to laugh when, back inthe day, when I had my long
experience in the music business.
I used to laugh, man, becauseone thing I noticed that was
(29:21):
happening then is definitelystill happening today, just goes
to show that most humanbehaviors is cyclical.
But I was in the.
I came up in the era of thegroups, the music groups, and
that's when I was entering intothe music business.
I was doing that when groupswere hot, these three man, four
(29:45):
man, five man, even six mangroups.
Matter of fact, there was someseven man groups out there that
were doing R&B and hip hop.
I remember it really wellbecause that was the advent of
those groups and everybody had agroup.
It was the biggest thing.
Get some guys together, theycould have crap harmon and
everybody had a group.
It was the biggest thing.
Get some guys together, theycould have crap harmonies, but
(30:06):
let's start a group.
I'm not going to write songs,you know, it was like they were
a dime, a dozen.
Go back and look at the 90s inR&B, hip-hop groups and Google
that kind of stuff.
Google One Hit Wonders.
You'll see so many groups, morethan you can name more groups
(30:30):
then than there ever was,probably in music history.
I would say that arguablybecause even now there's nowhere
near as many groups.
Even with the advent of the boybands it was nowhere near the
level of popularity that it wasback then in the 90s.
Check it out, you'll see it.
But the point I'm trying to makeis that there were times when,
even with the popularity of ofthe groups and had to begin to
(30:51):
evolve, there were always someissues within the group.
Obviously, like in any group,in any family and in the
organization, there's problemsamongst each other and somebody
will always try to go break outand say you know what?
I'm bigger than this group, I'mmore important than this group,
and they'll branch out and theywill go solo.
(31:15):
They will take all that theylearned from the group, all the
resources they provided for thegroup, for the betterment of the
group, and go out and try to doit solo.
They wanted the confidence,they wanted the accomplishment
of doing it on their own, sayingI did it.
It was more important for themto say I did this, this is my
(31:36):
goal, my plan, I made it happen.
Then it was to say, together,we did this.
I'm not saying that youshouldn't go solo if you're a
recording artist.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm just talking about thehuman behavior behind it, the
mindset.
I've seen so many guys breakaway from successful groups, not
(31:56):
just because of a difference ofopinion, but in actuality, I
was close to several of thosesituations, which I will not be
able to name today or maybeanytime, just because of
confidentiality and things likethat, but I remember it very
well.
In a lot of those situationswhere that one member of the
group would break away, itwasn't just because of an
(32:17):
argument or a disagreement ondirection.
It was because of that personand what was on the inside of
them, what they wanted to have,that craving that they wanted to
satisfy, that they couldn'tsatisfy within the group.
That drew them away from thegroup and on their own, with
limited results or sometimesvery poor results.
(32:40):
Their going solo was a flop ina lot of cases.
They overestimated, overvaluedtheir importance to the group.
Ooh, that's deep right there.
Did you even hear that theyoverestimated their value to the
group?
They overestimated their valueperiod and they put themselves
(33:03):
above everybody else.
Do we do that in networking?
Let's move on.
Next question what kind ofperson gets you closer to your
goals or moves you further awayfrom them?
Which person are you?
There's three points that Iwant to kind of flesh out with
that before we end the episodetoday.
(33:24):
Now, one kind of person triesto get you to stop or wants to
ride with you on your way tosuccess.
Now, people want what you havegenerally, but they don't want
to do the work that you do.
They may encourage you to yieldcertain stances you have in
life or certain approaches tosuccess, to personal growth.
(33:47):
They'll tell you to go for it,but don't forget about your
friends on the way up.
They want to ride with you orget you to kind of stop and
concede.
Whatever it is you're trying toaccomplish.
They're the big red stop sign.
That's the kind of people thatare in that kind of network.
They're big red stop signs.
(34:08):
When you're driving on the road, you see a big red stop sign.
What do you do?
You come to a stop.
At least you should.
The second kind of person arethe person that try to get you
to slow down, maybe out of guiltor out of envy.
People who think you're goingtoo hard, you're doing too much,
(34:29):
you should lower your standards.
Take a break, cool out, relaxfrom the grind, chill, sleep in.
These folks want you to havemore fun.
They want you to be in a stateof compromise.
These are the compromisers.
They may secretly envy youractivity.
They may envy your growth.
(34:49):
It may be because you arefriends with them that your
activity, your grind, your levelof engagement shines a negative
light on their lack of activity.
So slowing you down keeps themfrom being lonely and keeps them
from looking bad.
You might find these kind inthat crab bucket we talked about
(35:10):
for several weeks.
These are the slow down peopleBig yellow sign that says slow
down.
When you drive down the road,you see the slow down sign.
You do what?
Slow down.
And then the other kind ofperson are the ones who try to
get you to go.
They want you to keep learning,keep growing, keep thinking,
(35:33):
keep moving.
Don't give up, don't stop,don't quit.
These are members of theno-quit nation, oh yeah, baby,
people who love you too much toleave you in your current state.
They will drag you, kicking andscreaming to progress.
They will not allow you towallow in self-pity.
They'll give you a kick in thepants.
(35:55):
They'll push you to do greater.
Hopefully they know what thatlooks like, but they'll push you
.
They're the big green lightthat says go.
Now, which one are you?
We're talking about?
Networking is one commondenominator in all of this.
(36:17):
I don't care if you're onFacebook, twitter, instagram,
tiktok, whatever it is.
How have you integrated withother people?
How have you integrated withother people?
How have you engaged with otherpeople?
There's one common denominator.
And all the negativity, all ofthe online arguments, the back
and forth, all of the vitriol,there's one common denominator
(36:37):
in all of those situations you.
So I ask you today something toponder and think about which one
of these persons are you?
Are you the one that wantseveryone to stop and yield
because you're not willing to dothe work and just don't have a
(37:03):
drive, but you want your friendsto do what you're doing.
Are you the one that wantseveryone to slow down because it
makes you look bad that they'redoing something?
And you're pretty much stuckwhere you are.
You've lost your belief.
You decided to quit and give upon everything as opposed to
(37:25):
continuing to go forward, asopposed to reaching out for
mentoring, for wise counsel,changing your network and the
people that you hang around whomay negatively influence you
because of the environment thatyou all are in together.
Or are you the kind of personthat says go, always willing to
(37:47):
learn, always willing to takesomebody with you on the road to
success, always willing to growa positive, encouraging,
inspiring network?
See, everybody's going to raisetheir hand and say, oh, I'm the
green one, I'm the go, are you?
It's time to evaluate that,because I don't care where you
(38:08):
network, I don't care who youconnect with, I don't care what
kind of product and service youhave to offer, I don't care what
kind of benefit you think isgood for somebody else If you
don't know what kind of personyou are.
Whatever network you begin tocreate and build, that's what
you're going to levitate topeople that are just like you.
We have to decide who we wantto be.
(38:32):
All those tips that we talkedabout writing down notes,
documenting things, evaluating,looking at what we are thinking
on paper, having the rightmindset when it comes to human
behaviors, taking the time tounderstand who we are as humans,
(38:52):
how to talk to other people,how to relate to other people,
how to connect with other peoplerather than talk at and talk
down to.
We have to decide the answer tothat question that we talked
about a little earlier Are we adoor or are we a wall?
(39:13):
There's no in between the onlygood ideas and opportunities to
share great benefits.
Stop with you.
Or does it go further, becauseyou care about ideas and
opportunities to share greatbenefits?
Stop with you.
Or does it go further becauseyou care about the opportunity
for success and you care aboutgiving access to other people?
I hope this helped you out.
(39:39):
Thank you again for your supportof our podcast.
Wherever you are and howeveryou listen to our podcast today.
Thank you for making the CallMe Mr U part of your morning,
your day and your week and, asalways, we are your weekly
mirror.
Check before you go.
Change the world.
Thoughts and comments arealways appreciated.
Enjoy the blog onthecallmemrducom.
(40:01):
Have a fantastic day, go outthere and network, engage,
interact, but be a door, not awall.
Coach out, enjoy the music,we'll be right back.
(40:22):
Hi, it's Mr U.
Hope you were inspired by whatyou heard today.
(40:52):
If you enjoyed this podcastepisode, please subscribe on
Apple Podcasts and on ourYouTube channel, and please
leave a comment and a review.
This episode was made possibleby the support of viewers and
listeners, just like you.
Thanks.
Thanks again for listening to one-on-one with Mr
U and your Inspiration Station.
I'm really excited abouttoday's episode and a chance to
share another compelling storywith all of you that I really
hope changes your tomorrow.
Let's not waste another minute,let's get into it.
On this podcast, we're talkingnetworking and the part you play
(00:22):
in your own success.
Now some might be tempted totune out because you don't have
a business right now or youdon't see yourself as a
professional.
Don't you do it?
Before this podcast episodeends, you'll approach every
engagement, every interactionand networking opportunity from
a place of power and confidence,and you'll hopefully see what I
now see.
We do this every single day andprobably didn't even know it.
(00:45):
We're going to break down theidea of networking all the way
to its lowest common denominator.
Yeah, that's you.
That and more on this episodeof they Call Me Mr you, which
starts right now.
What's up everybody?
(01:05):
Welcome back to the All PurposePod for an all-purpose life.
You know what we do.
We get a weekly mirror checkbefore you go change the world,
baby, and I'm your coach, mr YuHa.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
(01:36):
Welcome back to the all-purposepod for an all-purpose life
with your weekly mirror checkbefore you go, change the world.
Wherever you are today andhowever you're listening to our
podcast.
Thank you for making a Call Me,mr you, part of your morning,
your day and your week.
Let's get it.
(01:57):
I'm so excited about this topicyou know I had it all wrong,
like so many probably do and itgoes so much further than just
an entry in a dictionaryNetworking, the power of
networking, what part we play.
We're going to jump into it all.
You know I, like many,originally thought it was
(02:23):
something that was done by thosewho had a business, or I
thought it was.
You know, just the work ofprofessionals People hobnobbing
and trying to get an edge andtrying to get a new client.
And networking is so much morepowerful than that.
It goes a lot deeper.
I know we talk about socialmedia a lot because it's where I
(02:46):
see some of the craziest thingsand some of the weirdest trends
, but also the consistentbehavior of us as humans.
I see it played out.
That's why I talk about socialmedia so much, but it's a place
where we're supposed to be ableto go and network.
We'll get into what networkingactually means as we get into
(03:10):
the episode.
But I got a question for you.
I want you to think about rightnow and even going into the end
of the episode and even beyondAre you a door?
Something for you to thinkabout this morning that I think
has relevance.
No matter where you are in yourlife, it doesn't matter what
you do for a living, it doesn'tmatter what your career goals
and aspirations are, it doesn'tmatter.
(03:32):
This question is still relevant.
If you're a human being thatlives and moves and breathes,
this question is for you.
This question, hopefully, willmatter to you by the end of this
episode.
Are you a door?
A door is described or definedspecifically as a means of
(03:53):
access or participation.
A door is also defined as anopportunity for success.
You heard the definition.
The question still stands Areyou a door?
Are you a means of access orparticipation?
Are you an opportunity forsuccess for yourself or for
(04:15):
someone else?
Are you a door or are you awall?
Are you where all good ideasand opportunities stop and come
to a grinding halt when goodnews or opportunities are shared
and it's something that'sawesome, that can benefit other
people.
When it gets to you, does it goany further than you?
(04:37):
Is it because of how you feelabout yourself or others that it
can't go any further, that goodnews comes to a grinding halt.
We network every single day,whether we're professionals,
regardless of our vocation, andwe don't even know it.
I want to talk about thatbecause more important than
(04:58):
entrepreneurship, more importantthan business, is the everyday
opportunities we have to network, and where we see ourselves,
how we view ourselves, has animpact on the success of that or
not, and this isn't allinclusive.
There are a few common reasonsfor epic fails when it comes to
(05:21):
networking.
One thing I've learned is thatthe networker is not an active
listener.
We discussed that here andthere on some episodes
previously, but the networker isnot an active listener.
Now, whoever's pitching an idea, they want to make that sale.
Get that point across.
Close that deal.
And yes, the object of thiseffort is a living, breathing
(05:42):
person, but it doesn't mean thatthey're a candidate for this.
They may have different needs,different goals in life.
Close that deal.
And yes, the object of thiseffort is a living, breathing
person, but it doesn't mean thatthey're a candidate for this.
They may have different needs,different goals in life.
They may see their future in adifferent way than you might
think they should be seeing it,one of the epic fails in
networking is that the networkeris not an active listener.
They don't hear what the personis saying to them, or even the
(06:03):
nonverbal cues, what they're notsaying.
They're not paying that muchattention because all they have
on their mind is to make thatpoint to close that deal.
Don't forget, we're not reallytalking about business.
We're talking about humanbeings, human behavior and the
idea of networking that we doevery single day.
(06:25):
Don't forget that.
Number two the networker maystruggle with their own belief.
Now, just because you havemouths to feed, it doesn't mean
that you believe in the productor the service that you want to
share or get someone to supportyou in or purchase from you.
It doesn't mean that you'reconvinced that you believe
(06:45):
yourself capable of even sellingthis.
I've met some folks like thatwithin the past few months.
They got mouths to feed andthey got a big family and they
got heavy obligations on theirshoulders.
Guess what they don't have?
Belief, they may just bedesperate.
Belief, they may just bedesperate.
(07:10):
But if the person who is theso-called networker in this
scenario doesn't have beliefeven in themselves, much less
their product or service thatthey're trying to render, what
kind of success can they reallyhave at the end of the day?
And number three the network isaware the network network,
excuse me is aware that they'retalking to a human being, but
they don't understand humannature.
It's kind of like what wetalked about last week regarding
(07:35):
fishing.
You can be a person who needsto have fish in their life.
They need to have fish on theirtable.
They need to have it.
But if they don't understandthe behavior of the fish, if
they don't get how the fishoperate, how they respond, what
(08:00):
scares them, what entices them,it doesn't matter how long they
stay on that boat with that baitin the water.
They may not catch what theycame here to find.
The networker has to be awarethat they're talking to a human
being and still understand humannature.
I think we're going to comeback to that one later on, but
(08:23):
just some thoughts to thinkabout.
But what is networking?
Networking literally means theaction or process of interacting
with others to exchangeinformation and services and to
develop professional or socialcontacts.
I'm going to read it againbecause I want you to hear
something there, something there.
(08:45):
Networking literally means theaction or process of interacting
with others to exchangeinformation and services and to
develop professional or socialcontacts.
Now, I don't know what youheard, but what I heard was
something that goes beyondbusiness.
It's talking about the veryessence of who we are as humans
the ability to interact, toexchange information, to share
(09:09):
things with other people Beforewe even get to the professional
part.
It's talking about being socialand it's the reason why mediums
like Facebook and Twitter andInstagram, why they work the way
they do, why they have thelevel of success that they've
had it wasn't because everybodybought their best good and their
(09:33):
best service to sell it inthese areas.
That's not why.
It's the social aspect, theability to interact with each
other, to exchange information,to share stories, to encourage,
to inspire that's what makesthose mediums good.
Most of us really don't likewhat they've become, but that's
the reason why networking isgood and why it's effective when
(09:57):
used properly.
So how much of that are you ableto do successfully without the
other party's support orparticipation?
The answer is none.
You can't interact with others,exchange information, be social
, develop contacts,relationships and friendships
without the other party'ssupport.
Stay with us, we'll be rightback.
(10:23):
Hey guys, it's Mr U.
You know how much Mr U loveshis coffee.
I think I found the answer forall you guys that are health
conscious but still love coffeeStrong Coffee Company 15 grams
of high quality protein.
Check Sustained energythroughout the day.
Check no jitters and crashes.
Check Stress reliever likeashwagandha for your morning
commute.
Check and double check.
(10:43):
It's also good for your skin.
Come on now, a healthyalternative that actually tastes
good.
I've arranged the highestexclusive discount for my
listeners.
Use the promo codestrongcoffeecompanycom forward
slash discount.
Forward slash TCMMY.
That's what they call me, Mr UStrongcoffeecompanycom forward
slash discount.
Forward slash TCMMY.
(11:05):
The link is also in the shownotes.
Check out Strong Coffee.
Let me know what you think.
There are plenty of articlesand podcasts that can tell you
how to network and how muchit'll cost you.
I prefer to offer morepractical applications to help
you in your professional growth,in your personal growth.
(11:27):
I got a friend that's probablylistening to this right now, so
I'm prepared to have some ofthis story edited.
But one of my good friends tookme fishing a couple of years ago
and it was served only as mysecond time fishing in my entire
life, the first time I reallywasn't involved.
I was a little bit too young toreally appreciate what I was
(11:50):
being taught, so I don't reallycount that as my first time, but
admittedly, I was much moreinvested than the first time the
second time I went out, but itdidn't make the task any less
daunting for me.
We went out to the beach forhours right before sunrise, and
I asked a lot of questions thatday.
I was really curious.
A lot of questions.
(12:11):
I was talking a lot.
Every single thing my frienddid, from arranging the bait to
casting his line, was met withabout at least two or three
questions for me.
I was soaking in everything Icould.
I might even have types ofnotes into my cell phone,
because I didn't have pen andpaper once the sun came up.
Now, I didn't think I'd be anavid fisherman, I just wanted to
(12:32):
be successful.
I wanted to catch some fish,bring some fish home and cook
them, work on some new recipes.
I had in mind the fact that Iwas hungry was totally unrelated
.
Now I mimicked everything myfriend did.
I mean, why not?
He was successful at it.
He did this a hundred hundredsof times.
(12:52):
He'd be the first one to tellyou, though, that he doesn't
always have good days.
He doesn't always go home witha lot of fish, but rarely does
he deviate from the appropriatetechniques.
But rarely does he deviate fromthe appropriate techniques.
He's diligent about it, aboutdoing the right things,
adjusting where necessary, andwe did that quite a few times
(13:15):
while we were on the beach.
I learned how to place the wormon the hook and catch the fish
when they sometimes get out ofthe bucket and try to scamper
away.
Those are two of the most orleast desirable parts of that
time together.
If I'm being honest, I didn'tenjoy either one of those two
things.
I don't know why I didn't enjoythat, but setting, baiting,
(13:42):
casting, wading, catching,reeling all these skills are
required for any level ofsuccess in fishing.
Patience and practice those arethe biggest takeaways that I
had.
But knowing the fish you'retrying to catch is the
intangible that some people maynot care about or take the time
to learn.
Understanding behaviors,understanding mindset,
understanding nature.
I realized that when that timeI spent all those hours out on
(14:04):
the beach, I realized that therewere so many different fish
that we saw that we caught.
But they react so differently.
They respond so different fromone another.
They respond to the baitdifferently.
They respond to the movement inthe water differently.
They respond to all thedifferent stimuli differently.
(14:26):
They're not the same.
They all fish, without a doubt.
They're all in the fish family,but they don't all respond the
same.
Let's be honest.
I heard people say this before,but a lot of fishing is like
luck or chance.
I heard the same thing abouthunting and other sports.
You might catch something, youmight catch something, you might
(14:47):
catch nothing.
Now, whether you buy this ornot, if you don't know the
behavior of the fish you want tocatch, you are least likely to
catch anything.
Think of the imagery of theocean.
Can you imagine how manydifferent types of fish reside
in that vast pool of water?
We caught several fish and threwthem back because it wasn't
(15:08):
what we were trying to go outthere to find.
We had a specific fish that wewent out there to catch.
Now I don't know any fishermenthat have the goal to catch
anything available.
They go out into the water withthe intention to catch specific
excuse me, specific kind offish, specific excuse me,
specific kind of fish.
Fish they can sell, or fishthey can eat, or fish so big it
would get them some kind ofprestigious honor or award or
(15:31):
their picture in the paper, butthey never want to catch just
anything making sense so far.
Do you see the parallels?
Remember what I said earlierthis isn't completely about
business.
Remember how effective wouldthe two of us have been had we
ran out into the waters andfuriously grabbed at anything
(15:53):
moving, hoping to catch a fish.
What do the fish you want tocatch like?
What kind of waters do the fishswim in?
My friend and I had to considerall those things before heading
out there.
Happy side story though my firstlegit effort in fishing I
caught 23 bluefish.
I threw back a few and someother kind of fish.
(16:17):
I think I had a shark but wedidn't reel him in.
I lost several fish out there,probably more than a dozen,
probably closer to 15, maybe 20fish.
Imagine had I caught those.
But the good part was I caughtfish.
It didn't matter if I had anumber that I met or I caught
(16:38):
everything that I attempted tocatch.
I caught some fish.
There were times my line brokeand there was even times I
believed that other fish ate thefish that I had on the hook.
I can tell that because when Iwould reel something in, I would
have a part of a fish there andnot the whole fish where bite
marks on it.
True story Not bad huh 23bluefish on my first legit time
(17:03):
out fishing.
I attribute that to my friend'swisdom, his knowledge, his
patience in teaching me, butalso in my ability to to learn,
my ability to listen, my abilityto interact.
Why am I sharing that storytoday?
If I had a hunting story, Iwould have shared that one too,
(17:24):
but the premise is still thesame.
Networking, in my opinion, isnot fishing.
There may be some similarities,but networking requires more of
us than just our time and theuse of some bait.
I asked you earlier if you werea door or wall.
Now, one allows passage intosuccess for other people and the
(17:46):
other is a roadblock throughwhich no one can pass, and
connection with said wall is theequivalent to a dead-end street
.
There's an old saying that Itry to live by, and that's to
make every situation that I'm apart of or connected to better
(18:07):
than it was before I arrived.
Think about that in terms ofnetworking.
Think about that in terms ofyour Facebook page and your
Twitter page, your Instagramfeed.
Think about that.
Do you make the situationbetter than it was before you
got there?
Is it better because you'rethere.
Something to think about.
(18:28):
Networking is not just offeringsomething you think the other
person wants and create anadvantageous atmosphere where
you think you can get them totake or buy or invest in
something.
That kind of had that ickysalesman coming to your door to
sell you a vacuum cleaner kindof feel, yeah, that doesn't work
.
I've seen that up close andit's really weird.
(18:49):
They want to come in your houseand make a mess and then clean
it up with theirstate-of-the-art vacuum cleaner.
Look at it around your house,want to know about your finances
, try to scope you out, see howyou live, so they can determine
the best way to convince you tobuy their product.
Icky Ew.
Networking in actuality is aboutconnection, who you're
(19:10):
connected to, the environmentyou're attached to.
Networking is the allowance ofaccess.
You're letting people into yourlife, into your mindset to a
degree.
Now are you either closer toyour goals and dreams or are you
moving further away from them?
Have you ever taken the time tomake a list of the things you
(19:32):
want from a network?
Or do you just blindly jointhings and sign up for things,
attach yourself to groups andorganizations?
What do you want from a network?
What do you hope to achieve?
I said early on in the episodethat it's important about.
(19:53):
It's important that weunderstand who we are as people,
because that's going todetermine the kind of things
that we levitate to, the kind ofpeople that we associate
ourselves with.
Somebody said this.
I don't know.
I don't want to misquoteanybody, but somebody said that
you can tell about a person bywho their friends are, by who
they're connected with.
(20:13):
There's times I go on to mysocial media or to other groups
that I'm associated with and Ilook at some of the friendship
circles and the comments thattheir friends make.
I'm like this is not justtolerated.
This is acceptable in the sightof the person who I I look at
(20:36):
as my friend.
They can say, oh, that's not me, that's so-and-so, that's just
my friend.
No, uh-so, that's just myfriend, no, uh-uh.
What they say is acceptable toyou, it's allowable and it's
reflective of who you are,whether you want to admit that
or not.
That's why sometimes it's goodto do spring cleaning.
(21:00):
If you look at people's fees andthey post things or share
things that aren't edifying,they could be demeaning to women
, misogynistic, racist, whateverit is.
If it's on your feed and you'reconnected with it.
It sends a subtle message tosomebody who may not know.
(21:22):
Stay with us, we'll be rightback.
What's up, everybody?
It's Mr U.
You know I love hearing fromall of our viewers and listeners
.
You guys have some greatquestions.
I love it.
On every episode of the podcastthey call me Mr U.
Right at the top of our shownotes is a way you can text me
directly.
It's called fan mail.
(21:43):
Send a text to me anytime in orout of our shows with questions
, feedback, topic ideas or somekind of encouragement for the
coach, and I'll respond back toyou at the very next episode of
our show.
I'm making you a part of ourshow, so send a text, show some
love.
Ask a question fan mail.
Thanks for supporting us again.
(22:04):
We love you, we appreciate you.
Have a great day.
Enjoy the music Coach out.
One of the reasons why we avoidin so many areas is because we
don't take time to consider andevaluate, we don't self-check
and we don't keep records.
Here's a random question foryou.
(22:25):
That's not really a randomquestion what serves generations
best over long periods of time,what we remember or what we
documented?
And the answer to that questionreally isn't debatable we don't
keep records, we don't takenotes and we don't take time to
ponder, generally speaking.
So if somebody told you howimportant journaling was, for
(22:46):
example, many might say theydon't have the time or think
that it's the best thing forthem.
Maybe it's better for somebodyelse to do that.
We all need it.
We all can't rely on ourmemories because they eventually
fade.
We can't trust what we thinkall the time Our hearts deceive
us.
Now what does that have to dowith networking?
We're getting there.
Adrenaline is not just writingdown random thoughts.
(23:08):
It's the art of documentation.
It's pondering thoughts moredeeply, noting plans and goals
more effectively, weighing thepros and cons and coming to
competent conclusions.
You can take an hour to getready for a special event and
someone can look at you and gowhat are you wearing?
You can spend hours gettingready and thinking you did well.
(23:30):
But perspective can't be gainedby yourself.
You can't have perspectivealone.
You need to be anotherviewpoint.
When you write your own thoughtsand goals on paper and keep
record, you can see how it maysound to others now that it's
out of your head and out in theopen it sounds different.
Every idea sounds good andfoolproof while it's in the mind
(23:50):
of the fool, but when it's outin the open, it doesn't sound
exactly as fantastic as it didwhen it was in our cranium.
We open our mouths to share itand, yeah, it sounds different
out here now, doesn't it?
Most every success book I everread all had a few things in
(24:11):
common.
But one thing I don't think wethink about is the writing down
of ideas.
Now, this is important tonetwork.
I'm going to come back to it.
I'm not off the rails here.
Trust me.
Many, many of us are really goodtalkers and we have great
memories, so it's a universalapproach that really still
applies.
We should write down ideas andaffirmation and goals for
several reasons, but a couple ofthat.
It gives us something visuallyto look at.
(24:34):
Having reminders of what wesaid and what we did is helpful.
We can say something that wedon't even realize we uttered
and also don't realize theimpact on other people.
This gives us a strongerimpression on our minds when we
write ideas down and havesomething visually to look at.
Second thing is that it helpsus to learn and remember things
(24:54):
better.
Trusting our memories is unwise.
We are more likely to retainthis and accept it more readily
if we write down theseempowering positive thoughts,
ideas, affirmations, etc.
Etc.
Now let's connect the dots backto networking.
Now, most of the reasons why weembrace networking or look for
a viable network to shop what wehave to offer is because we
(25:20):
think we have a great idea orthe idea is legitimately really
good, but we think we know howbest to serve you, the consumer,
the average Joe or averageJoanna.
Before we go fishing for theright fish or go peopling for
the right people, we need tounderstand behavior.
I don't know any fishermenpersonally that takes the time
to address personal behaviorsbefore heading out to the lake.
(25:43):
Are they patient people?
Are they able to be at peacewith only catching half of their
goal?
Are they willing to come homewith nothing?
Are they willing to get upwhile everyone else is sleeping
to get what they need for theirfamilies?
Before you can embrace others,you have to embrace some truths
about you first.
If not, these areas are almostbound to collide with each other
(26:05):
, so there are certain kind ofpeople that can be bound to be
in your network.
Recognizing this is helpful.
I want to just backtrack.
I mentioned journaling and Italked about that because we
have all these ideas that weshare with other people.
We have all these ideas that weshare with other people before
we even really ponder what it iswe're trying to say, why we're
(26:25):
saying what we're saying.
I have this saying that I usedto post on social media all the
time and it wouldn't get onelike, but I believed it so much
and it was the truth as far as Iwas concerned, and I posted it
regularly and often because Ireally wanted to help people
think about things a little bitmore competently.
I will post that most peopleare more concerned about the
(26:50):
headline than they are thecontent.
They read the headline, theyreact.
They get in the comment sectionand they start tapping away,
never read the story, don't knowwho wrote it, Don't know why
they wrote it, don't know thereasons why it was written and
who was talking about.
All they got was the headlineand they react.
That's the nature of socialmedia as I see it today.
(27:13):
So I mentioned journaling andbeing competent about writing
ideas down, because when youwrite things down and I've seen
this many times myself I haveplans for financial things I
wanted to do in life, had myfive-year, my 10-year plan when
I wrote it down in my book and Ijournaled it.
I realized how dumb some ofthose ideas really were,
(27:35):
absolutely off the mark.
But it sounded great in my head.
But when I wrote it down it waslike ridiculous, that's not
what we need to be doing.
We need to be going.
That's not what we should bedoing, and I wish that people
will write down their thoughts,not on your Facebook page, on
(27:56):
Instagram.
I want you to write it down onpaper before they say it and
read it and listen to it.
Did that sound like somethingyou want to represent you?
Those are the kind of thoughtsI was talking about before, so I
hope that makes sense.
Ask yourself these two questionsDo you currently have a dream
or is it a wish?
It's been quoted many timesthat a goal without a plan is
(28:18):
simply a wish.
It's also been said many timesthat we can't do life alone.
Still, we ask ourselves thatfirst question.
Then we race out to make ourown plans and to add to that
goal, and we do it out of ourown intellect, our own sense of
what is good and what is best,not just for us, what we think
is good and best for otherpeople.
Imagine that the audacity, theunmitigated gall to decide
(28:41):
what's good and best for otherpeople.
Imagine that the audacity, theunmitigated gall to decide
what's good and best for otherpeople that we don't even know,
that we don't listen to.
If we're talking real today, wedon't even hear their hearts,
we don't even know what theirneeds are, but we decide what's
good and best for them.
Imagine that we don't yet seethe value of connection and
(29:01):
mentorship and wise counsel.
We're still trying to be soloagents, trying to do it on our
own.
I used to laugh when, back inthe day, when I had my long
experience in the music business.
I used to laugh, man, becauseone thing I noticed that was
(29:21):
happening then is definitelystill happening today, just goes
to show that most humanbehaviors is cyclical.
But I was in the.
I came up in the era of thegroups, the music groups, and
that's when I was entering intothe music business.
I was doing that when groupswere hot, these three man, four
(29:45):
man, five man, even six mangroups.
Matter of fact, there was someseven man groups out there that
were doing R&B and hip hop.
I remember it really wellbecause that was the advent of
those groups and everybody had agroup.
It was the biggest thing.
Get some guys together, theycould have crap harmon and
everybody had a group.
It was the biggest thing.
Get some guys together, theycould have crap harmonies, but
(30:06):
let's start a group.
I'm not going to write songs,you know, it was like they were
a dime, a dozen.
Go back and look at the 90s inR&B, hip-hop groups and Google
that kind of stuff.
Google One Hit Wonders.
You'll see so many groups, morethan you can name more groups
(30:30):
then than there ever was,probably in music history.
I would say that arguablybecause even now there's nowhere
near as many groups.
Even with the advent of the boybands it was nowhere near the
level of popularity that it wasback then in the 90s.
Check it out, you'll see it.
But the point I'm trying to makeis that there were times when,
even with the popularity of ofthe groups and had to begin to
(30:51):
evolve, there were always someissues within the group.
Obviously, like in any group,in any family and in the
organization, there's problemsamongst each other and somebody
will always try to go break outand say you know what?
I'm bigger than this group, I'mmore important than this group,
and they'll branch out and theywill go solo.
(31:15):
They will take all that theylearned from the group, all the
resources they provided for thegroup, for the betterment of the
group, and go out and try to doit solo.
They wanted the confidence,they wanted the accomplishment
of doing it on their own, sayingI did it.
It was more important for themto say I did this, this is my
(31:36):
goal, my plan, I made it happen.
Then it was to say, together,we did this.
I'm not saying that youshouldn't go solo if you're a
recording artist.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm just talking about thehuman behavior behind it, the
mindset.
I've seen so many guys breakaway from successful groups, not
(31:56):
just because of a difference ofopinion, but in actuality, I
was close to several of thosesituations, which I will not be
able to name today or maybeanytime, just because of
confidentiality and things likethat, but I remember it very
well.
In a lot of those situationswhere that one member of the
group would break away, itwasn't just because of an
(32:17):
argument or a disagreement ondirection.
It was because of that personand what was on the inside of
them, what they wanted to have,that craving that they wanted to
satisfy, that they couldn'tsatisfy within the group.
That drew them away from thegroup and on their own, with
limited results or sometimesvery poor results.
(32:40):
Their going solo was a flop ina lot of cases.
They overestimated, overvaluedtheir importance to the group.
Ooh, that's deep right there.
Did you even hear that theyoverestimated their value to the
group?
They overestimated their valueperiod and they put themselves
(33:03):
above everybody else.
Do we do that in networking?
Let's move on.
Next question what kind ofperson gets you closer to your
goals or moves you further awayfrom them?
Which person are you?
There's three points that Iwant to kind of flesh out with
that before we end the episodetoday.
(33:24):
Now, one kind of person triesto get you to stop or wants to
ride with you on your way tosuccess.
Now, people want what you havegenerally, but they don't want
to do the work that you do.
They may encourage you to yieldcertain stances you have in
life or certain approaches tosuccess, to personal growth.
(33:47):
They'll tell you to go for it,but don't forget about your
friends on the way up.
They want to ride with you orget you to kind of stop and
concede.
Whatever it is you're trying toaccomplish.
They're the big red stop sign.
That's the kind of people thatare in that kind of network.
They're big red stop signs.
(34:08):
When you're driving on the road, you see a big red stop sign.
What do you do?
You come to a stop.
At least you should.
The second kind of person arethe person that try to get you
to slow down, maybe out of guiltor out of envy.
People who think you're goingtoo hard, you're doing too much,
(34:29):
you should lower your standards.
Take a break, cool out, relaxfrom the grind, chill, sleep in.
These folks want you to havemore fun.
They want you to be in a stateof compromise.
These are the compromisers.
They may secretly envy youractivity.
They may envy your growth.
(34:49):
It may be because you arefriends with them that your
activity, your grind, your levelof engagement shines a negative
light on their lack of activity.
So slowing you down keeps themfrom being lonely and keeps them
from looking bad.
You might find these kind inthat crab bucket we talked about
(35:10):
for several weeks.
These are the slow down peopleBig yellow sign that says slow
down.
When you drive down the road,you see the slow down sign.
You do what?
Slow down.
And then the other kind ofperson are the ones who try to
get you to go.
They want you to keep learning,keep growing, keep thinking,
(35:33):
keep moving.
Don't give up, don't stop,don't quit.
These are members of theno-quit nation, oh yeah, baby,
people who love you too much toleave you in your current state.
They will drag you, kicking andscreaming to progress.
They will not allow you towallow in self-pity.
They'll give you a kick in thepants.
(35:55):
They'll push you to do greater.
Hopefully they know what thatlooks like, but they'll push you
.
They're the big green lightthat says go.
Now, which one are you?
We're talking about?
Networking is one commondenominator in all of this.
(36:17):
I don't care if you're onFacebook, twitter, instagram,
tiktok, whatever it is.
How have you integrated withother people?
How have you integrated withother people?
How have you engaged with otherpeople?
There's one common denominator.
And all the negativity, all ofthe online arguments, the back
and forth, all of the vitriol,there's one common denominator
(36:37):
in all of those situations you.
So I ask you today something toponder and think about which one
of these persons are you?
Are you the one that wantseveryone to stop and yield
because you're not willing to dothe work and just don't have a
(37:03):
drive, but you want your friendsto do what you're doing.
Are you the one that wantseveryone to slow down because it
makes you look bad that they'redoing something?
And you're pretty much stuckwhere you are.
You've lost your belief.
You decided to quit and give upon everything as opposed to
(37:25):
continuing to go forward, asopposed to reaching out for
mentoring, for wise counsel,changing your network and the
people that you hang around whomay negatively influence you
because of the environment thatyou all are in together.
Or are you the kind of personthat says go, always willing to
(37:47):
learn, always willing to takesomebody with you on the road to
success, always willing to growa positive, encouraging,
inspiring network?
See, everybody's going to raisetheir hand and say, oh, I'm the
green one, I'm the go, are you?
It's time to evaluate that,because I don't care where you
(38:08):
network, I don't care who youconnect with, I don't care what
kind of product and service youhave to offer, I don't care what
kind of benefit you think isgood for somebody else If you
don't know what kind of personyou are.
Whatever network you begin tocreate and build, that's what
you're going to levitate topeople that are just like you.
We have to decide who we wantto be.
(38:32):
All those tips that we talkedabout writing down notes,
documenting things, evaluating,looking at what we are thinking
on paper, having the rightmindset when it comes to human
behaviors, taking the time tounderstand who we are as humans,
(38:52):
how to talk to other people,how to relate to other people,
how to connect with other peoplerather than talk at and talk
down to.
We have to decide the answer tothat question that we talked
about a little earlier Are we adoor or are we a wall?
(39:13):
There's no in between the onlygood ideas and opportunities to
share great benefits.
Stop with you.
Or does it go further, becauseyou care about ideas and
opportunities to share greatbenefits?
Stop with you.
Or does it go further becauseyou care about the opportunity
for success and you care aboutgiving access to other people?
I hope this helped you out.
(39:39):
Thank you again for your supportof our podcast.
Wherever you are and howeveryou listen to our podcast today.
Thank you for making the CallMe Mr U part of your morning,
your day and your week and, asalways, we are your weekly
mirror.
Check before you go.
Change the world.
Thoughts and comments arealways appreciated.
Enjoy the blog onthecallmemrducom.
(40:01):
Have a fantastic day, go outthere and network, engage,
interact, but be a door, not awall.
Coach out, enjoy the music,we'll be right back.
(40:22):
Hi, it's Mr U.
Hope you were inspired by whatyou heard today.
(40:52):
If you enjoyed this podcastepisode, please subscribe on
Apple Podcasts and on ourYouTube channel, and please
leave a comment and a review.
This episode was made possibleby the support of viewers and
listeners, just like you.
Thanks.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.