EP 3: You Are In Last Place! Stop Putting Others Before Yourself.

Are you tired of being a people-pleaser and conforming to trends that don't really resonate with you?

It's time to put yourself first and make decisions that truly align with your own joy! In this episode we are deeply exploring the importance of self-care, the power of self-confidence, and why saying 'no' when you don't want to do something could be a form of self-love. I’m teaching y’all how to communicate your needs effectively and stay true to your mission, goals, and plans without fear of judgment. 

Remember, saying 'yes' to yourself has the power to change everything in your life. 

Thank you for listening to "This Is Some Crazy Sh*T" with Cheron Hamner.

To connect with Cheron: CLICK HERE

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
You are listening to.
This Is Some Crazy Shit.
With Sharon Hamner.
This podcast is for you if youare tired of living day to day
feeling unfulfilled, you arefrustrated and you are doing too
much with no return.
This is for you if you areready to take charge of your
life, if you are ready to let goof managing other people's

(00:23):
insecurities and theirexpectations and live life your
way.
Here we have dope conversationsabout saving yourself, so we
can get off these street cornersand stop waiting for Captain
Saviour Ho.
You ready?
Let's go, because this is somecrazy shit.
I am not okay with this ideathat, as women, we should

(00:51):
sacrifice everything for thesake of everyone around us.
It's not cool at all.
I don't understand where thisconcept of being the sacrificial
lamb came from, because if weare not able to take care of

(01:17):
ourselves first, then who isgoing to take care of us after
we are done taking care ofeverybody else around us?
I am a lover of sports and letme just tell you everybody

(01:39):
remembers who won the Super Bowl, but can anybody tell you who
the second place team is?
No, because there's no trophyfor that.
And I'm here to say if you arenot putting yourself first in
your life.
Then you are in last place andnobody is around to help you.

(02:04):
So what I want to encourage youis to consider putting yourself
first.
I had to challenge myself withthis very same thought just the
other day.
I was at work, behind the chair, in the middle of doing

(02:26):
someone's hair, and I began tofeel very woozy and I was
challenged with the thought ofokay, well, okay, what do I need
to do to finish her hair?
What should I do?

(02:49):
Should I go to the hospital?
How am I going to get there?
Do I need to wait to havesomebody drive me?
Do I need to call an ambulance?
And the majority of theconversation that I was going
back and forth in my head aboutwas how I was going to take care

(03:12):
of these people that I wascommitted to, that were on my
schedule, versus how I was goingto take care of myself, and
that was very eye-opening, ahuge wake-up call.
I made the decision to just cutmy day right then and there and

(03:40):
go see about myself.
In the going scene about myself,I was with my daughter.
She had given me a ride to theemergency room.
She found herself complainingbecause she had the things that

(04:04):
she needed to do and she wasready to boast on her mom.
That was eye-opening, becausethat just confirmed what I was
thinking that you have to makesure that you take care of
yourself.
Of course, you have family andfriends that are held, but

(04:24):
everybody has their own thinggoing on.
It's so important for you tohave your own thing going on.
With having your own thinggoing on, it's okay, and I'm
going to give you permission tosay no, period.

(04:50):
If someone asks you to dosomething that you don't have
time to do, you don't have adesire to do, just say no.
It doesn't require explaining,which is why I stop after I say
no so many times.

(05:11):
As women, we feel like we needto explain ourselves to people
and we don't.
The thing that we need to do isjust stay true to our mission
and our goal and our plans.
It's okay to say no.

(05:34):
It's going to probably takesome practice in saying no,
because we're so used to sayingyes to everything.
Should I say?
People pleasing yes, peoplepleasing.

(05:54):
I realized that I was a peoplepleaser and that was shocking to
myself.
You might think well, I'm notjust going around just being a
yes person all the time jumpingbecause this person says let's
do this.
Doing that.

(06:14):
A lot of times we are peoplepleasing just to stay in a
status quo.
We are people pleasing bywearing certain clothes.
We are people pleasing bywearing our hair a certain way

(06:38):
when we don't feel confident inthat look.
I'm just going to stop rightthere and just talk about this
natural hair movement thateverybody feels like everybody
should be doing it.
I'm here to say if you're notfeeling yourself with natural

(07:01):
hair, then don't do it.
I'm a hairstylist that I workwith clients who have
non-relaxed hair.
I do relaxers and I do what'scalled a keratin treatment,
which changes the game for somany of the women who sit in my

(07:21):
chair, because it allows themthe ability to flex between
curly hair and straight hair,and that's great if that's what
they want to do.
And I want to encourage youlike just be about what makes
you feel good versus whateverybody else is doing.

(07:44):
The trends don't matter all thetime.
The trend to me is confidence,and when you have confidence,
then you can have the best lifeever, you can have a great
relationship, you can make themoney that you want to make

(08:06):
because you have confidence, youcan go on trips by yourself and
enjoy yourself because you haveconfidence.
Go out like when was the lasttime you took yourself out on a
date and went out for dinner?
Come on now Like we got to bethe people to take care of

(08:28):
ourselves first, versus waitingon a man, a significant other or
somebody to recognize us and dothings for us.
Because I'm going to tell yousomething that might surprise
you.
It is very hard to read mindsout here in these streets and a

(08:52):
lot of people don't really knowwhat you want, because you
haven't voiced that to anybody.
And the best voice that you canhave is by doing and showing us
how you love to treat yourself,not just for a special occasion,
but on a regular basis.

(09:15):
Show us how you treat yourself,how you love yourself, how you
put yourself first, and that'sgonna gain respect from other
people.
You're gonna respect yourselfbecause, hey, you took care of
yourself, because nobody'scoming to take care of you,

(09:39):
nobody is coming to save you.
It is your responsibility totake care of yourself and it's
unfortunate that we weren'treally given a guideline on how
to take care of ourself, how toshow ourself self-love, how to

(09:59):
actually really love onourselves.
Nobody really showed you how todo that.
A lot of people that youprobably grew up around just
showed you how to survive andget by versus being a woman who
thrives, and I want that for youso bad.

(10:21):
I want that for you, and whenyou get that, everything in your
life is going to change,because you said yes to you and
saying yes to you is just so, sogood and delicious.

(10:45):
Thank you, and these socialmedia streets.