Ever been labeled 'selfish' and felt like it's a bad thing?
Let's flip the switch and see the superpower of it instead. In this episode, we're stepping out of societal expectations and into the space of self-care, where being selfish isn't just allowed - it's ENCOURAGED. From setting healthy boundaries to choosing joy over obligations, we're redefining selfishness as an act of self-love and empowerment.
One of the best ways to flex your selfish muscles is through self-care.
Feeling guilty about taking a day off just for yourself? Let's break those chains of guilt and embrace the joy of treating yourself right. Whether it's taking yourself out on a date, planning a solo vacation, or simply speaking up for your wants, I'll show you how being 'selfish' can make you feel great.
Let's dive into the power of being selfish together!
Thank you for listening to "This Is Some Crazy Sh*T" with Cheron Hamner.
To connect with Cheron: CLICK HERE
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Episode Transcript
You are listening to.
This Is Some Crazy Shit.
With Sharon Hamner.
This podcast is for you if youare tired of living day to day
feeling unfulfilled, you arefrustrated and you are doing too
much with no return.
This is for you if you areready to take charge of your
life, if you are ready to let goof managing other people's
(00:23):
insecurities and theirexpectations and live life your
way.
Here we have dope conversationsabout saving yourself, so we
can get off these street cornersand stop waiting for Captain
Saviour Ho.
You ready?
Let's go, because this is somecrazy shit.
So I'm going to tell yousomething that a lot of people
(00:47):
don't know about me, and it issomething that was meant to be
derogatory, and it's one of thethings that I'm so proud of
myself for being, and that isselfish, being selfish, and I
(01:12):
want to encourage you to beselfish.
Growing up, I got that label ofbeing selfish because people
would ask me for certain thingsthat I was wearing.
I had one aunt.
(01:32):
She was always into the jurythat I wore.
I had another aunt and a cousinwho loved the bags that I would
carry and they would always askme for them, to the point where
my one cousin she wouldvolunteer to give me a plastic
(01:56):
grocery bag for me to put thecontents of my purse in, so that
she can have my purse.
And she was really serious andI'm like, no, I'm not giving you
my purse.
I didn't want to give up myearrings because those were
things that I loved and Ienjoyed.
Other times that I have beenlabeled selfish is if I came
(02:22):
home for a visit and somebodywanted their hair done and I'm
like, no, well, that's justselfish, why wouldn't you do
that?
And I'm thinking like, well,I'm on vacation.
But it really bothered me thatI was called selfish and I
thought that it was somethingthat I really needed to change.
(02:47):
And I have realized that a lotof my superpowers are things
that people would say that arenegative about me, but being
selfish is one of them.
I feel like being selfish iswhat helped me to go get help
(03:13):
with my mental health.
Being selfish was somethingthat helped me to get the
business that I have.
It's because it was somethingthat I wanted and I went after
it.
When I was diagnosed withdepression, nobody in my family
(03:40):
even knew that I was going thatday to check myself into a
mental health institute.
I told them afterwards andeveryone was shocked and
surprised that one.
They didn't even realize that Iwas that far gone into not
(04:01):
feeling good about myself and tothat I was in a mental health
institution and being selfish,taking care of myself, seeing
myself first, putting myselffirst, was one of the best
things that I've ever done in mylife, and I want to encourage
(04:27):
you to look at areas of yourlife where you have been denying
yourself, when you have beendoing things because it seems
like it's beneficial for you todo it for somebody else but you
(04:50):
really don't wanna do it.
And then on the back end, whenyou do it, you're mad at
yourself because you reallydidn't wanna do it.
It's okay.
Just acknowledge that.
If you don't wanna do it, sayno.
Acknowledge yourself in thebeginning, say no.
(05:13):
I get so frustrated with myselfwhen I go against myself and do
things where in the beginningyou know was a red flag.
You know that you were gonna bemad at yourself for taking on
that project, for staying lateat work because somebody else
(05:35):
didn't plan accordingly fortheir schedule, and now you're
running late to something thatyou needed to be to.
And it's okay if you see thatin the beginning and you
preserve yourself first and sayno.
So being selfish is a gamechanger into helping you set
(06:00):
boundaries for your life and notbeing the sacrificial lamb and
being upset with yourselfBecause, in the end, like,
nobody is really gonna like ifyou do something for someone
else and you're mad and upsetabout it, you're gonna carry
(06:23):
that on for a long time, untilthe next time you see that
person and you might be angryand upset and that person has
moved on with their life becauseit hasn't affected them.
And we are holding on to toomany things within ourselves our
(06:45):
health, our bodies and justcarrying on so much stuff
Because we were afraid to putourselves first and put
ourselves at the front of theline and that stops now.
That stops now.
That stops.
Today, make a decision thatputting yourself first is a
(07:10):
priority and being selfish iswhere is that?
So make that list of boundaries, of what are the type of Hours
that you want to work, what arethe hours that you feel like are
good for you to spend talkingon the phone, what are the
(07:34):
events that you enjoy doing andgoing to, and make those a
priority Over other events.
The one thing that I really,really, really loved about the
pandemic Was that everybody gotto say no to being at family
(07:56):
events and family functions thatthey've hated going to over the
years, and we had the excuse ofthe pandemic to use.
And I wonder how many peoplenowadays are going to those
events just because it'sChristmas, is Thanksgiving, when
(08:23):
deep inside, you really don'twant to do those things.
And I'm here to tell you thatit's okay.
You don't need the excuse of apandemic.
You have the excuse of takingcare of yourself To use because
you just don't want to do that.
And it's okay, because a lot oftimes, we put ourselves into
(08:45):
situations where we areSurrounded by family members who
have abused us, family memberswho have traumatized us, and
we're just going with the flowjust to make everybody else
happy, and that's not okay.
It's not okay, and you have totake care of yourself.
(09:10):
You always have to take care ofyourself.
So I'm going to encourage youto say no and set some
boundaries.
Another way that you can beselfish is Go out by yourself
and Take yourself out on a dateby yourself.
(09:33):
Don't invite anybody else,don't tell anybody else you're
going and order Whatever it isthat you want and really begin
to develop a relationship withwith yourself.
Buy yourself something nice forthis date and and treat
(09:54):
yourself golden.
Take a vacation.
Take yourself on a vacation.
When was the last time you wentsomewhere and During the
vacation, you were able to doeverything that you wanted to do
, versus what the group saidthat they wanted to do?
(10:18):
I know I've been in pastsituations where I just kind of
go with the flow, with what thegroup says they want to do and
not Speak up for myself, andthen I feel frustrated because I
wasted my time doing somethingthat I got nothing from, and I
(10:39):
Think that it's important tomake yourself feel good and
everything that you do, so beselfish.
Find something today to beselfish about.
Hey, sis, you have beenlistening to.
This is some crazy shit.
I am Charon Hamner.
(11:01):
Make sure you like andsubscribe to hear more dope
conversations on this podcast.
You can check me out on mywebsite at WW dot, charon hamner
, comm or all of my social mediaplatforms.
I look forward to seeing you inthese social media streets.
You.
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