May 10, 2024 • 21 mins
Do you ever feel unseen, unheard?
I, Cheron Hamner, have had many of these feelings throughout my life. Finally, the death of Robin Williams, someone who brought joy to so many yet battled his own mental demons, was a pivotal moment that made me confront my mental health struggles.
In this week's episode, I share my journey, from seeking professional help to checking myself into a mental health facility, where I learned crucial lessons about my own well-being. I'm deeply thankful for my family, my rock during my darkest hours.
I bring to you a candid conversation about the importance of prioritizing oneself, a concept similar to the airplane safety instruction of securing your own oxygen mask before helping others.
Is it easy to forget about yourself?
Absolutely!
But remember, it's okay to pause, breathe, and take care of yourself.
Through this episode, I hope to inspire you to put yourself first, break away from societal norms, and live life fearlessly your way.
Thank you for listening to "This Is Some Crazy Sh*T" with Cheron Hamner.
To connect with Cheron: CLICK HERE
Connect with Cheron on her social platforms:
Instagram
Facebook
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
You are listening to, this Is Some Crazy Shit.
With Sharon Hamner.
This podcast is for you if youare tired of living day to day
feeling unfulfilled, you arefrustrated and you are doing too
much with no return.
This is for you if you areready to take charge of your
life, if you are ready to let goof managing other people's
(00:23):
insecurities and theirexpectations and live life your
way.
Here we have dope conversationsabout saving yourself, so we
can get off these street cornersand stop waiting for Captain
Saviour Ho.
You ready?
Let's go, because this is somecrazy shit.
Ooh, I cannot believe I'm outhere telling my business Like
(00:48):
that is a no-no in my house.
When I was growing up, younever tell what's going on in
your house.
What goes on in your housestays in your house.
Nobody should be knowing what'sgoing on in your house.
But I'm out here outing myself.
(01:08):
Which I never thought in amillion years that I would do is
talk about my challenges withmental health.
I realized that it wassomething that I was assigned to
do, not that I wanted to do.
(01:29):
The moment when Robin Williamsdied, I remember that moment so
clear.
It hit me so hard, not becausehe was my favorite actor, but
because he was a public figurewho made people smile and made
(01:55):
people laugh, who thought itwould be best for him to end his
life and that was somethingthat I struggled with for a very
long time was smiling on theoutside, appearing to have it
all together, but deep downinside I just wanted to die.
(02:24):
I remember growing up andfeeling like I didn't matter.
I remember feeling like myvoice wasn't being heard and I
was constantly told to be quiet,to stay out of grown folks'
(02:45):
business, simply because I grewup being very, very curious and
I asked a lot of questions, whatsome adults may find to be
challenging.
God do I wish that I grew up inthis era of Google and social
(03:10):
media where any type of questionthat I could have had back then
it could have been answered byGoogle and it would have saved
me a lot of stress mentallyBecause after being shut down
time after time for askingquestions just so that I can
(03:33):
learn because I'm always alearner I've always been a
learner and an explorer andalways wanting to know something
different I could have had adifferent outcome.
But I began to shut down and Ibecame silent and just turned
(03:57):
all my anger and my frustrationin on myself and I continue my
life being that way and it gotto a point where I just knew
deep down inside that my lifewas not supposed to be this way
(04:21):
and that I deserve somethingbetter.
I just always remember growingup not feeling being a part of
my family.
I always felt like I was theblack sheep and I grew up with
(04:44):
an older brother and I remembervery frequently my mom and dad
and my brother would haveconversations about their
lifestyle at their house on thisparticular street called Bach
Street and they would go backand forth about, oh, when we
(05:09):
lived on Bach Street and thisand that and that happened, and
ha ha, ha, and they would ki, ki, ki.
And then I could enjoy theconversation, but I wanted to be
a part of it.
So I would chime in every nowand again and say, oh yeah, I
used to live on Bach Street.
And my brother, I would say youdidn't grow up, you wasn't on
(05:35):
Bach Street, you didn't grow upon Bach Street.
Or, my mom, they were alwayscorrect me that I didn't live on
Bach Street.
And this happened many times.
This happened many times and youknow, as an adult I can
(05:57):
identify that I was doing thatbecause I simply wanted to
belong.
I wanted to have a part in theconversation.
I did not want to feel left out, but I did.
And my life continued to havethose feelings because in my
(06:26):
curiosity, I was always dreamingabout something more expansive
than what I was experiencing.
And even though I would go tomy parents and express those
things that I wanted to do, thegoals that I had, they had never
(06:53):
done that, so they didn't knowwhat direction to put me in.
So it was like every time Iwould say something, it was
falling on deaf ears and I gotto a point where Nobody was
(07:18):
listening to me.
I felt nobody was listening tome, nobody heard me, they didn't
understand me, and periodicallyI would try to tell people how
(07:38):
terrible I was feeling insideand it never came out that, oh,
I just don't want to live hereanymore, I want to die.
I feel like killing myself.
It would sound like and you maybe able to relate to it that
people would ask me how I wasdoing and my response would be
(08:00):
like oh, I'm just really tired.
I'm tired, and that was a wayof me attesting the waters to
see if they were a safe personthat I could share my deeper
experience with.
And nevertheless excuse me.
(08:24):
Nevertheless, somehow theconversation will always take a
left turn and never return tohow I was feeling really.
You may feel that way thatsometimes people ask you, well,
how are you doing?
But they never really asked howare you doing really?
(08:52):
So, after spending my willspending my wills one day I just
decided to look at my healthcare plan.
I was working at that time in acorporate environment, and so I
went to HR to see what type ofresources were available for
(09:12):
mental health.
And at the very moment where Ifound out that I had help
available to me, I went andchecked myself in to a mental
health institution.
I left work, checked myself in,and after I checked myself in,
(09:34):
I then called my family and toldthem what I had done.
And it was like, when I toldthem, they were surprised, like
(09:55):
they never saw any of mysymptoms of not expressing
myself.
They didn't realize that thatwas not healthy Until this very
moment.
Then they decided to come to myaid and support me, which I'm
(10:27):
very grateful that they did.
At that mental health facility,I learned a lot of tools and
techniques.
I realized that I was not alone, that other people were going
(10:50):
through the same things and thatthere's a path to better health
.
Secretly, I wish that more of myfamily members enrolled
themselves into some type ofmental health or program or
(11:18):
communication program, because Ifeel like, instead of being a
black sheep like that, I'm thegoat of the family, that I'm the
greatest because I identify aproblem and did something about
it.
Because I took that first step,I am changing the trajectory of
(11:50):
my lineage.
I now have a betterrelationship with my daughter
and the conversations that meand my grandchildren are having
are so different than the thingsthat me and my mom had.
(12:13):
Sometimes I catch myself and Ilaugh because my grandchildren,
they ask me all questions.
I find myself negotiating withthem and I laugh and I'm like
I'm negotiating with a child.
(12:33):
My grandmother and my motherwould never negotiate with a
child.
It's like if you don't shut upand be quiet and go sit down
somewhere and get out of my face, yeah, there's no negotiating
with a child.
(12:54):
I love it because, for one, Irespect them, because they are a
person.
They're not a little charan,they are a human being.
They have feelings, they haveemotions and they came to the
(13:15):
earth to do something.
And right now, a lot of whatthey're doing is helping me be a
better person and I appreciateand love them for that.
And I remember a time when I wasarguing with my mom when I was
(13:39):
a teenager, and I can't rememberspecifically what that argument
was about, but I just wantedher to hear me, I just wanted
her to listen, and I justremember yelling at her at the
top of my lungs Like justbecause you're the parent
doesn't mean you're always right.
You're not always right and youdon't know everything.
(14:03):
And even to this day, that is arelationship that is a work in
progress.
I sometimes ask my mom just tokind of trip her up and see what
(14:28):
she would say why have youlearned from me lately?
And sometimes, if this was inperson, she would just roll her
eyes and over time she's givenme answers.
So I appreciate that myconsistency with keeping my
(14:54):
boundaries with her is teachingher and little by little she's
letting that guard down andbeginning to show me respect as
a human being, not just as herchild.
(15:17):
Everything about you matters.
Everything about you matters.
You are not alone.
You are not alone and if youare struggling with feeling like
(15:42):
you're not loved, you're notbeing heard.
I want to encourage you to beton yourself for just one more
day.
Just one more day.
Get out of bed and say yes toyou for just one more day.
(16:09):
Do your best not to isolateyourself.
Don't isolate yourself.
Find someone who you trust, whoyou can be around.
I found that once I releasedthe familiar people from being
(16:33):
responsible for helping me, withmy happiness once I released
them, that I was able to havebeautiful souls enter into my
life that would help and supportme on this journey.
And a lot of times those peopledon't look like me.
(16:57):
They come from differentbackgrounds, and I have one
friend in particular who helpedme on my journey and by doing so
, he invited me to some familygatherings with him and to this
(17:18):
day, that's part of my family.
We haven't been in contact witheach other, but I'm always in
contact with his family and Iappreciate him extending his
(17:40):
family to me, and I know, evenwhen I don't speak with them on
a regular basis, that I cancount on them as somebody who
will listen to me withoutjudgment.
So don't isolate yourself.
(18:01):
Be open to surrounding yourselfwith people who will give you
the opportunity to share what itis that you're going through,
and with no judgment.
There are so many resourcesavailable to you if you seek
(18:32):
them out to support you on ajourney of mental health.
It is a journey and it's onethat you can make it through.
For me, it didn't happenovernight and I feel like you
(18:59):
know how they say once they'realcoholic, always they're
alcoholic.
I feel like with mental healthand depression, that it's the
trickster always comes to try totake me back there as I learn
(19:22):
more, as I gain more confidencein myself.
Nobody can win but me.
I'm the winner in the end, andyou can win too when you bet on
that, on yourself, because youhave to be your own support.
(19:46):
You have to be your own support.
You know how, when you get on anairplane and they go through
the safety skin, they say if theoxygen mask comes down, if
you're traveling with a youngchild, be sure to put your own
oxygen mask on first before youhelp someone.
(20:06):
That's how it is in life.
You have to put your own oxygenmask on one day at a time.
Breathe life into yourselfevery single day and you will
(20:27):
make it.
You will definitely make it.
It's okay to say yes to you.
It's okay to say yes to you.
You can do it.
You totally got this and you'regoing to make it through.
(20:49):
If I can make it through, youcan make it through, and I
support you on your journey.
Hey sis, you have beenlistening to.
This is some crazy shit.
I am Sharon Hamner.
Make sure you like andsubscribe to hear more dope
conversations on this podcast.
(21:10):
You can check me out on mywebsite at wwwSharonHamnercom or
on all of my social mediaplatforms.
I look forward to seeing you inthese social media streets.
You are listening to, this Is Some Crazy Shit.
With Sharon Hamner.
This podcast is for you if youare tired of living day to day
feeling unfulfilled, you arefrustrated and you are doing too
much with no return.
This is for you if you areready to take charge of your
life, if you are ready to let goof managing other people's
(00:23):
insecurities and theirexpectations and live life your
way.
Here we have dope conversationsabout saving yourself, so we
can get off these street cornersand stop waiting for Captain
Saviour Ho.
You ready?
Let's go, because this is somecrazy shit.
Ooh, I cannot believe I'm outhere telling my business Like
(00:48):
that is a no-no in my house.
When I was growing up, younever tell what's going on in
your house.
What goes on in your housestays in your house.
Nobody should be knowing what'sgoing on in your house.
But I'm out here outing myself.
(01:08):
Which I never thought in amillion years that I would do is
talk about my challenges withmental health.
I realized that it wassomething that I was assigned to
do, not that I wanted to do.
(01:29):
The moment when Robin Williamsdied, I remember that moment so
clear.
It hit me so hard, not becausehe was my favorite actor, but
because he was a public figurewho made people smile and made
(01:55):
people laugh, who thought itwould be best for him to end his
life and that was somethingthat I struggled with for a very
long time was smiling on theoutside, appearing to have it
all together, but deep downinside I just wanted to die.
(02:24):
I remember growing up andfeeling like I didn't matter.
I remember feeling like myvoice wasn't being heard and I
was constantly told to be quiet,to stay out of grown folks'
(02:45):
business, simply because I grewup being very, very curious and
I asked a lot of questions, whatsome adults may find to be
challenging.
God do I wish that I grew up inthis era of Google and social
(03:10):
media where any type of questionthat I could have had back then
it could have been answered byGoogle and it would have saved
me a lot of stress mentallyBecause after being shut down
time after time for askingquestions just so that I can
(03:33):
learn because I'm always alearner I've always been a
learner and an explorer andalways wanting to know something
different I could have had adifferent outcome.
But I began to shut down and Ibecame silent and just turned
(03:57):
all my anger and my frustrationin on myself and I continue my
life being that way and it gotto a point where I just knew
deep down inside that my lifewas not supposed to be this way
(04:21):
and that I deserve somethingbetter.
I just always remember growingup not feeling being a part of
my family.
I always felt like I was theblack sheep and I grew up with
(04:44):
an older brother and I remembervery frequently my mom and dad
and my brother would haveconversations about their
lifestyle at their house on thisparticular street called Bach
Street and they would go backand forth about, oh, when we
(05:09):
lived on Bach Street and thisand that and that happened, and
ha ha, ha, and they would ki, ki, ki.
And then I could enjoy theconversation, but I wanted to be
a part of it.
So I would chime in every nowand again and say, oh yeah, I
used to live on Bach Street.
And my brother, I would say youdidn't grow up, you wasn't on
(05:35):
Bach Street, you didn't grow upon Bach Street.
Or, my mom, they were alwayscorrect me that I didn't live on
Bach Street.
And this happened many times.
This happened many times and youknow, as an adult I can
(05:57):
identify that I was doing thatbecause I simply wanted to
belong.
I wanted to have a part in theconversation.
I did not want to feel left out, but I did.
And my life continued to havethose feelings because in my
(06:26):
curiosity, I was always dreamingabout something more expansive
than what I was experiencing.
And even though I would go tomy parents and express those
things that I wanted to do, thegoals that I had, they had never
(06:53):
done that, so they didn't knowwhat direction to put me in.
So it was like every time Iwould say something, it was
falling on deaf ears and I gotto a point where Nobody was
(07:18):
listening to me.
I felt nobody was listening tome, nobody heard me, they didn't
understand me, and periodicallyI would try to tell people how
(07:38):
terrible I was feeling insideand it never came out that, oh,
I just don't want to live hereanymore, I want to die.
I feel like killing myself.
It would sound like and you maybe able to relate to it that
people would ask me how I wasdoing and my response would be
(08:00):
like oh, I'm just really tired.
I'm tired, and that was a wayof me attesting the waters to
see if they were a safe personthat I could share my deeper
experience with.
And nevertheless excuse me.
(08:24):
Nevertheless, somehow theconversation will always take a
left turn and never return tohow I was feeling really.
You may feel that way thatsometimes people ask you, well,
how are you doing?
But they never really asked howare you doing really?
(08:52):
So, after spending my willspending my wills one day I just
decided to look at my healthcare plan.
I was working at that time in acorporate environment, and so I
went to HR to see what type ofresources were available for
(09:12):
mental health.
And at the very moment where Ifound out that I had help
available to me, I went andchecked myself in to a mental
health institution.
I left work, checked myself in,and after I checked myself in,
(09:34):
I then called my family and toldthem what I had done.
And it was like, when I toldthem, they were surprised, like
(09:55):
they never saw any of mysymptoms of not expressing
myself.
They didn't realize that thatwas not healthy Until this very
moment.
Then they decided to come to myaid and support me, which I'm
(10:27):
very grateful that they did.
At that mental health facility,I learned a lot of tools and
techniques.
I realized that I was not alone, that other people were going
(10:50):
through the same things and thatthere's a path to better health
.
Secretly, I wish that more of myfamily members enrolled
themselves into some type ofmental health or program or
(11:18):
communication program, because Ifeel like, instead of being a
black sheep like that, I'm thegoat of the family, that I'm the
greatest because I identify aproblem and did something about
it.
Because I took that first step,I am changing the trajectory of
(11:50):
my lineage.
I now have a betterrelationship with my daughter
and the conversations that meand my grandchildren are having
are so different than the thingsthat me and my mom had.
(12:13):
Sometimes I catch myself and Ilaugh because my grandchildren,
they ask me all questions.
I find myself negotiating withthem and I laugh and I'm like
I'm negotiating with a child.
(12:33):
My grandmother and my motherwould never negotiate with a
child.
It's like if you don't shut upand be quiet and go sit down
somewhere and get out of my face, yeah, there's no negotiating
with a child.
(12:54):
I love it because, for one, Irespect them, because they are a
person.
They're not a little charan,they are a human being.
They have feelings, they haveemotions and they came to the
(13:15):
earth to do something.
And right now, a lot of whatthey're doing is helping me be a
better person and I appreciateand love them for that.
And I remember a time when I wasarguing with my mom when I was
(13:39):
a teenager, and I can't rememberspecifically what that argument
was about, but I just wantedher to hear me, I just wanted
her to listen, and I justremember yelling at her at the
top of my lungs Like justbecause you're the parent
doesn't mean you're always right.
You're not always right and youdon't know everything.
(14:03):
And even to this day, that is arelationship that is a work in
progress.
I sometimes ask my mom just tokind of trip her up and see what
(14:28):
she would say why have youlearned from me lately?
And sometimes, if this was inperson, she would just roll her
eyes and over time she's givenme answers.
So I appreciate that myconsistency with keeping my
(14:54):
boundaries with her is teachingher and little by little she's
letting that guard down andbeginning to show me respect as
a human being, not just as herchild.
(15:17):
Everything about you matters.
Everything about you matters.
You are not alone.
You are not alone and if youare struggling with feeling like
(15:42):
you're not loved, you're notbeing heard.
I want to encourage you to beton yourself for just one more
day.
Just one more day.
Get out of bed and say yes toyou for just one more day.
(16:09):
Do your best not to isolateyourself.
Don't isolate yourself.
Find someone who you trust, whoyou can be around.
I found that once I releasedthe familiar people from being
(16:33):
responsible for helping me, withmy happiness once I released
them, that I was able to havebeautiful souls enter into my
life that would help and supportme on this journey.
And a lot of times those peopledon't look like me.
(16:57):
They come from differentbackgrounds, and I have one
friend in particular who helpedme on my journey and by doing so
, he invited me to some familygatherings with him and to this
(17:18):
day, that's part of my family.
We haven't been in contact witheach other, but I'm always in
contact with his family and Iappreciate him extending his
(17:40):
family to me, and I know, evenwhen I don't speak with them on
a regular basis, that I cancount on them as somebody who
will listen to me withoutjudgment.
So don't isolate yourself.
(18:01):
Be open to surrounding yourselfwith people who will give you
the opportunity to share what itis that you're going through,
and with no judgment.
There are so many resourcesavailable to you if you seek
(18:32):
them out to support you on ajourney of mental health.
It is a journey and it's onethat you can make it through.
For me, it didn't happenovernight and I feel like you
(18:59):
know how they say once they'realcoholic, always they're
alcoholic.
I feel like with mental healthand depression, that it's the
trickster always comes to try totake me back there as I learn
(19:22):
more, as I gain more confidencein myself.
Nobody can win but me.
I'm the winner in the end, andyou can win too when you bet on
that, on yourself, because youhave to be your own support.
(19:46):
You have to be your own support.
You know how, when you get on anairplane and they go through
the safety skin, they say if theoxygen mask comes down, if
you're traveling with a youngchild, be sure to put your own
oxygen mask on first before youhelp someone.
(20:06):
That's how it is in life.
You have to put your own oxygenmask on one day at a time.
Breathe life into yourselfevery single day and you will
(20:27):
make it.
You will definitely make it.
It's okay to say yes to you.
It's okay to say yes to you.
You can do it.
You totally got this and you'regoing to make it through.
(20:49):
If I can make it through, youcan make it through, and I
support you on your journey.
Hey sis, you have beenlistening to.
This is some crazy shit.
I am Sharon Hamner.
Make sure you like andsubscribe to hear more dope
conversations on this podcast.
(21:10):
You can check me out on mywebsite at wwwSharonHamnercom or
on all of my social mediaplatforms.
I look forward to seeing you inthese social media streets.
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