June 8, 2025 • 30 mins
Can you believe it?
100 episodes! 100 moments of truth, chaos, clarity, cracking open, and coming home.
And through it all—you’ve been right here! Listening, feeling, remembering parts of YOU too. This episode is a celebration, and not the shiny, perfect kind. It’s the real kind—the kind that says: "Look how far we’ve come. Look at all we’ve let go of. Look at who we get to be now."
Inside this one, we go there, with a rapid-fire purge of what I'm not anymore (masks, beliefs, patterns, roles, and good-girl BS I’ve shed); what I’d tell Episode 1 Veronica now (truths she never saw coming, love she deeply needed, and a whole lotta hindsight); an invitation for your reflections and questions (and gratitude for what you’ve shared that has cracked me open and reminded me why this space even exists) AND a bold AF declaration of who the f*ck I am now—and what I’m claiming next, so you will too!
Is it time for the version of you who’s ready to say, “This isn’t me anymore” and the one who’s brave enough to ask, “Then who am I now?”
What’s not you anymore? What IS you now?
And what are you finally ready to claim IS You!?
If this podcast has ever touched your heart, cracked you open, or mirrored your truth—I want to hear from you. Share your story, your Qs, your reflections. Let this be a shared space!
Plus—don’t forget to enter the EPISODE 100 GIVEAWAY (yes, I’ve got juicy prizes for you!)
Here's how to enter:
1️⃣ Listen to and choose your favourite episode
2️⃣ Share your favourite episode to your IG stories with WHY it's your favourite episode and tag me @veronicajayne_
3️⃣ Share the biggest “This Isn’t Me” moment from YOUR life by email to: veronicajayne11@gmail.com
4️⃣ Sign up for emails to get notified if you're the winner @ www.veronicajayne.com
Want to work together? I’d LOVE that! Enquire HERE https://calendly.com/d/cnqf-jcc-p72
Or check out my website: www.veronicajayne.com and Instagram: @veronicajayne_
🎥 Did you know you can also watch episodes of This Isn’t Me on YouTube? Find me at @veronicajayne
~ In love, learning and what isn’t me, to find what is!
Veronica Jayne
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Ready to ditch the old stories and limiting beliefs and step
into your embodied knowing? I'm Veronica Jane, you're
fierce, fiery and deeply compassionate embodiment,
empowerment and relationships coach and mentor.
And this is This Isn't Me podcast.
Hello, welcome to another episode of this isn't me
podcast. I am Veronica Jane and this
(00:26):
isn't just another episode. This is episode 100.
Holy crap on a cracker. How did we get here?
That doesn't even account for all the episodes that are here
playing in my mind, the ones that are yet to hit the cutting
room floor and then make their way to you.
This isn't me anymore. And this is.
(00:47):
That's the title of this episode, and I'm so pumped to
bring it to you. We're gonna talk about what
we've let go, what we've learnedand who we are now.
Are you fucking ready? I'm so ready.
All right, let's start with that.
What isn't you anymore? Thank you to everyone who's
reached out and shared What isn't them.
Yeah, they're uncovering them. Story.
(01:10):
The one where they've unveiled, unleashed, unraveled who they
are to be like This isn't me anymore.
And this is, I'm so excited for those that are yet to share
their stories with me so that I can connect with you and relate
with you and share with you. And I'm so pumped to have one of
you on the podcast sharing your This Isn't Me story because
that's what life is about. It's about unlearning and
(01:33):
rediscovering. It's about uncovering and
reclaiming yourself. It's about unveiling, unleashing
and unraveling who you are. And that's the mission that I've
on here and I'm so excited to besharing that with you and for
you to be sharing that with me. So let's play.
So what isn't you anymore? What are those things that
(01:56):
you've seen have been coping strategies, survival instincts
and responses? They've been adaptive and are
now maladaptive things that you've outgrown and realized
That's not me. That's something I've just taken
on as a behavior strategy, as a survival mechanism.
And I get to be a different way now.
Like these are the things I've shed.
(02:16):
OK, what isn't me anymore? I'm talking beliefs, roles,
patterns, masks, businesses, people pleasing, good girl
scripts, all of it. Like what isn't you anymore?
So you can frame it in the like I'm no longer available for or
this isn't me or I'm never fucking with that again or I'm
complete with that or wow, I'm so grateful to have been that
(02:37):
way. And now I get to be a different
way. So what isn't me anymore?
Lazy. What isn't me anymore.
Hiding what isn't me anymore. Nice.
Yeah, love isn't nice. I was talking to a client about
this recently and she's like, fuck, that's real.
I think so many of us are sold into this like personal
(02:57):
development or this like spiritual frame that ends up
having us be a nice girl. You're not nice if you're
loving. You're compassionate.
You listen, you hold and you invite forward, especially in
your partnerships. Nice girls say like, oh, I get
it, honey, and let them stay thesame fucking alive.
(03:19):
Women who are being the highest expression of themselves are
like, I hear you and you're better than that.
Like this isn't the truest. You, babe, I can see this.
Can you not see it? Let's look at it together and
figure out how you can do better'cause you're the man who's
better than that. That's love, not nice.
What am I not anymore pretendingthat I don't have invaluable
(03:42):
tools to offer? I'm not like oh just doing this
podcast. Like fuck that shit.
I'm a woman who has powerful tools and techniques and
incredible programs to support you on yourself growth journey
of uncovering who you've been sothat you can be who you truly
are. I'm done pretending like I don't
have a fuck load of magic to offer.
(04:03):
What isn't me anymore? Overly apologetic, overly words
today, overly apologetic. I'm not saying sorry for my
truth. I just had a call with a client
who I shared the phrase self gaslighting, emotional
gaslighting. And she was like, wait, hold on,
(04:23):
say that. And I'm like, well, does that
feel true for you? Right?
Because I'm always testing things against your truth.
You have to run everything through your inner filter.
So I was like, does that feel like something you've done?
Is that connect with you? And she was like, whoa, So what
do you mean though? And I was like, well, are you
always running your experience through everyone else's or are
you able to validate your emotions and your perspective
and stand in that? And she's like, no, I'm, I'm
(04:44):
always running myself through the filter of everyone else.
Like, well, isn't that self gaslighting?
Like the power of nuance is thatyou can sit in your own
experience and be like, this wastrue for me.
This is valid. And let me come over there and
look from your perspective because that's true for you.
You know there's 360° from whicha point can be seen.
If you stand in a circle and look at one point, you can move
(05:06):
360° to see it. And it's all gonna be different.
And they're all true. It's just that most of us don't
operate that way. So I'm done self gaslighting.
That's not me anymore. I'm validating my truth.
And I what isn't me anymore is also dismissing someone else's
reality. I'm so of the mind and the heart
(05:27):
and the power of going. Let me step into your world.
Let me hold the complexity of this with you.
Let me stand in your truth for amoment and be with you.
I'm what isn't me anymore is this person who thinks empathy
is a weakness. I was presented this as a frame
from someone that you know that you're empathic.
You're embodying someone else's patheticness.
(05:48):
No pathos means feelings. You're embodying another's
feelings to be in the experiencewith them.
How fucking beautiful to be in it with them.
And then step out and offer the tools and strategies and
resources they have within them.Remind them so they can get
themselves out. Compassion and empathy are
superpowers. Yes.
(06:08):
Can you be overly empathic? Of course.
And can you sit in it and then embody too much and make it your
problem? Of course.
And I've been her, too. And I've done all expressions of
that. Now I'm in that compassionate
connection with you. What isn't me anymore?
Being poor. Yeah, that's done.
And also feeling the need to have money or desire things that
(06:31):
aren't true to my values. I've been fucking with as my
business got more and more successful.
What what do I want to spend money on?
What's important to me? Where's the value?
And I recognize that I tried to want things that I don't truly
want. You know, I had some things that
I invested in that I was like, this doesn't work towards future
me. This isn't actually the truth of
(06:51):
what I want. I don't value fancy clothes, I
don't value fancy cars. I don't value like luxury
experiences unless they're shared.
Like my highest values are experiences, enjoyment and
sharing with people. And so my money is going to be
saved to share that with people.You know, my future man, my
(07:12):
future children, my friends, my family.
Like that's my value. So what isn't me anymore is
someone who is spending money just to see if it feels good.
Like spending money other people's way.
Yeah. What isn't me anymore?
Boring. Boring.
(07:33):
I'm so done. Like masking and being boring
for other people and being like a placator.
What isn't me? Throughout this podcast, I've
learned that like, I'm someone who goes hard and fast, who
loves big and who loves variety.Who loves experiences, Who loves
newness, who loves novelty? And I get that.
I get to have friends and partners who value that too.
(07:56):
What isn't me is boring. What else does it mean that I've
discovered through this 100 episodes?
What about you? Like which of these are
relating? What isn't me Is selfish.
Making this about myself. There's been times where I think
I've gotten lost in the selfishness of it, and it's this
complexity of being sovereign and putting myself at the
(08:18):
forefront of my mind in the sense that I see it helps
everyone in the way that I want to grow, to help others grow.
I want to share to help others share.
I want to create this to help all of us.
So I'm learning that deeper and deeper.
What doesn't me that I found in 100 episodes?
Fancy. Yeah.
Like, I don't need a podcast studio.
(08:38):
It was fun. But what isn't me is someone who
needs to be in front of expensive equipment or in a
certain space because other people do it.
Like, I love doing this in frontof my Sony camera with my Blue
Yeti microphone. Like, those are great pieces of
equipment. And I'm in my bedroom.
That's also my office. I'm not fancy.
(08:59):
I can be. I can be all the things.
And at my truest self. I don't desire to spend a lot of
life being fancy. What does it mean that I've
discovered in 100 episodes? Inconsistent, inconsistent and
messy. I'm learning to offer what
Ioffer in a consistent way that's clean, that's high
(09:20):
quality, that's valuable for you.
And I'm learning how to do that better and better all the time.
So I want to know what isn't youthrough these 100 episodes,
guys? What have you uncovered isn't
you anymore? Hopefully you've seen my
Instagram stories and if you haven't, I'll drop it here.
I'm running a giveaway, a littlecompetition and there's 2
prizes. 1 is you'll be in one ofmy group containers.
(09:41):
You can choose from the one starting in July or the one
starting in September. And the other prize is to be on
the podcast sharing your story. So all you have to do is reshare
your favorite episode on Apple podcast or Spotify.
You could click share, put it inyour IG stories, tell me why
it's your favorite and tag me. Yeah.
Then e-mail me What isn't you? What's something you've
discovered isn't you? And then jump onto my website
and subscribe to my e-mail list so I can tell you when you've
(10:02):
won. This is a shared experience.
I want to know what you're learning through this, through
your own life that this podcast is helping you access.
Because you slide into my DMS and I love it.
And I want you to be loud with it.
Because what if what isn't you is hidden in the shadows?
My speaker just turned off. What if what isn't you is this
(10:23):
person who has to be quiet with their growth?
What if you were someone loud with your growth?
Imagine sharing what isn't you on a podcast that reaches
thousands. How good would that feel?
How empowering could that be foryou?
If that's you, I hope you do e-mail me and tell me what isn't
you and what you've learned through these 100 episodes, your
favorite episode, and what isn'tyou anymore.
(10:46):
So yeah, there's so many things that aren't me anymore.
And the beauty of this evolutionis that it's continual.
You know what isn't me anymore? Oh fuck.
I almost missed some of the biggest shit that I've been
evolving into. What isn't me anymore is like
morally presentable. I don't know if you've noticed,
but things have gotten spicier because what isn't me is a good
(11:08):
girl in the bedroom. What isn't me is like pleasant
and presentable. Guys, I'm loud, I'm out there,
I'm sexual, I'm kinky, I'm fiery, I'm passionate, I'm big
with how I feel and I want you to be too.
Your version of that, what isn'tme, is hiding behind some sense
of morality, good girl, right and wrong, feeling afraid to
(11:29):
show my skin, to touch my skin, to invite you to do the same.
And yeah, I take it to extremes.Did you notice?
Because I know if I lead from there, you stepping one step
closer to where you want to go is easier.
If Veronica's out there half naked on Instagram, imagine you
wearing the top or the dress that your mother-in-law doesn't
improve of and posting a photo on Instagram.
(11:50):
Like the freedom and permission piece in that you know you get
to explore to your edges and what feels great for you.
So what isn't me is this girl who's worried about am I showing
too much skin? Am I talking too much about sex?
Because fuck that noise. What isn't me is someone who
puts someone else's truth ahead of their own.
My truth is that sex is a powerful portal, an avenue, a
(12:12):
platform to learn sovereignty, to learn self-expression, to
learn boundaries, to learn what's truly you, to ask for
what you want, to allow beauty and pleasure, to allow yourself
to have it all. To do that with love, to
connect, to share their fears, to share their desires.
(12:32):
You get to practice all of that.Yeah, in that platform.
Imagine that. Imagine learning to play in the
bedroom so that you can play in life.
Just an idea. So I'm done following some moral
compass. I'm me.
(12:54):
That was cathartic. I'm sure there's more, and I'll
drop them through my social media as this episode drops.
And I'd love for you to drop yours.
What isn't you anymore? What isn't you anymore?
What are you done being, pretending, masking.
It's time. So the other piece I'd like to
share today is another segment for this episode is what I'd
(13:16):
tell Episode 1 Veronica. Like I want to talk to her and
give her the truths and give herthe grace and the the kick ass
kick up the butt talk she needed.
So I'm going to do it like a letter to myself and I'm going
to do it from my heart. So let me go back.
(13:38):
I haven't like written anything down.
This is going to just come out live for you because this is how
I think the biggest growth happens is unplanned, unscripted
from the heart. So to give you a picture, I
started recording this podcast. That's 2025.
What would it have been? 2022?
I think like maybe September 2022.
(14:02):
Yeah, I think that's right. And I was a girl who was
heartbroken, who was so self abandoning.
I was a girl who had just left an open relationship and had two
years before left a marriage whowasn't sure what she was doing
for her career. She had just started or had been
(14:24):
in the middle of studying biomedical yoga and meditation
and was consuming a lot of personal development content,
reading all the books and was starting to go, OK, well, I'm
the creator, I've got something to share.
How do I learn? How do I step in?
Messy and incomplete? Because that's all of us.
And So what would I say to her, that girl who was like, the
(14:48):
first few episodes were recordedin a little cottage up on the
hillside on the way to an inlandcity near Brisbane in Australia
called Toowoomba. And I was there recording,
sorry, as a part of a theater production.
And I was staying at this beautiful college cottage with
all these plants and, like, weird little gnomes and
figurines. And I just set up this
(15:10):
microphone off. I didn't do any video recording
at the time and just started recording my heart, my truth,
what wasn't me. So if you want to go back and
see her and fill her in Episode 1, listen to her.
She's there. So I'm going to speak to her
now. But I'd tell Episode 1 Veronica
(15:30):
as the me that I am now. Hey, girl, I'm so fucking proud
of you for starting messy, for starting uncertain.
I'm so proud of you for finding your voice because for so many
years, you said what people wanted you to say, you said what
(15:53):
they wanted to hear. And just by speaking out loud,
just by a fucking off Carrie, ifanyone even listened.
You have changed so many people's lives.
You're gonna change so many people's lives.
(16:13):
You're going to reach thousands,10s of thousands, hundreds of
thousands one day with your truth that is about them finding
their truth. I'm so proud of you for finding
your voice and for saying the hard things.
I'm so proud of you for pushing past the societal norms and
(16:34):
boundaries of what you're allowed to talk about in public
and screaming fuck that to the bullshit of pretending.
I'm so fucking proud of you for calling out these ways that
women repress themselves, repress their truth, repress
their desires or press their sexuality, repress their
(16:58):
ability, their power. Girl, do you have any idea how
much power is coming from what you're creating today?
By you sharing what isn't you, you're going to help so many
women find what isn't them, findtheir own inner compass, their
own inners truth. You're going to reach people who
(17:20):
want to share their stories. You're going to reach people
whose businesses need a platform, whose stories need a
platform, whose hearts need to be felt.
I'm so fucking proud of you, andI want you to know it's going to
be messy along the way. You're going to doubt.
You're going to be inconsistent and it's perfect.
Just keep picking it back up. Go again.
(17:42):
Some people aren't going to likeyour story.
That guy, that girl, them, they're not going to like it.
They're not going to agree. That's OK.
It's your truth and it matters. You'll make space for their
truth too. You always do.
I want you to know that this is important, that it's going to
evolve. It's not just going to be a
(18:03):
podcast. What you're starting now is
going to lead you to what's nextand what's next and what's next
and it's needed. So keep going.
Fuck the technology, fuck the fancy things.
Just do it your way. It's your heart that people
feel. It's the truth that resonates
with people. Stay in that.
(18:24):
Doesn't have to look good, doesn't have to trend, it
doesn't have to go viral. Just has to be a truth.
And that's what people will feel.
So keep going, stare into that camera, speak into that
microphone, and speak truth for every woman who's hiding hers.
(18:48):
It matters, You matter, You can feel it.
Thank you. Oh fuck, that was more visceral
than I expected it to be. She got scared so many times.
(19:09):
That past version of me, She wanted to stop.
She wanted to quit. She wondered what was the point?
How do I afford to take this time?
How do I afford to invest the money?
How do I afford to keep going? Does this matter?
Is it important? Is this true?
And I'm so proud of me. And I hope in listening to that
(19:30):
you see that you now can speak to a past version of you.
You now can listen to a future version of you to help the you
now do what's next 'cause this podcast has been fucking
transformational for me. Like it's been such a catalyst
for me to keep going knowing that there's truths that I'm
(19:50):
speaking and even if I'm the only one listening, they matter.
Never mind all of you that reachout and say thank you.
You're saying the things I've been thinking in my mind for so
many years. You're saying the truths that
are whispered and you're screaming them loud.
And I'll be that person, and I'll keep being that person, and
I'll keep being imperfect along the way.
(20:14):
And I hope that you'll see that I trust that you'll see it and
feel it as the permission slip that you need to go out and
speak your truth, to step into your power.
Because that's why I do this. It's for you and every past and
future version of you, and everypast and future version of me
too. Yeah, sorry, that was really
(20:41):
emotional for me. So I'm wondering, I'd like to do
more episodes with your questions, with your, to offer
you what it is you want to work through.
So I'd love some questions, I'd love some topics and themes and
(21:01):
what has impacted you and what you want to explore and learn
next. Because this is about us.
And I'm so excited for the guests that I have booked that
are coming on clients, professionals and similar
fields. Those who are going to offer
their this isn't me stories. Those who are going to offer
tools and techniques to reach useven deeper because I don't
(21:22):
presume to know it all. I'm always learning.
And one guest specifically, I'm so excited to have on because
they've changed the way I see relating.
They've changed the way I've coached about relationships,
specifically your primary attachment figure like your
lover, your husband, your wife, your partner.
And they've potentially helped me be able to create real
(21:44):
partnership now in a way that I didn't see I was not doing
before. So I'm so excited for this
version of this isn't me and this version of me.
And what I want to share before I close out is what is me.
Yeah, this is me. I had a previous mentor
recommend to rename the podcast like the Veronica Show.
(22:07):
And I'm like, I get it, but it'snot what it is.
It's not about me. This isn't a show about me.
This is me being a mirror for you.
This is me being all of me. So you get to be all of you.
This is me is this is you. Like what connects?
What resonates? What's growing you so much
bigger than me? So I want to share what's me to
(22:28):
help you see what is you or whatcould be.
I want to share who the fuck I am now and who I'm becoming.
All of it. And I want you to reflect, to
see what's you now? So what's me now, Powerful.
(22:49):
What's me now standing in my truth?
What's me now? Filtering out the bullshit,
Discerning, not just ingesting information because it comes
from someone I love or respect. Remembering they're all human
too. People you love, they're human
too. So what's me now?
(23:10):
Nuanced, holding every perspective I can act as, and
looking to hold more. What's me now?
Soft learning to surrender, soften, be vulnerable What's me
now? Strong, bold, fiercely loving.
(23:35):
What's me now? Imperfect, always evolving.
What's me now? Humbling myself faster and
faster What's me now? Playful dancing, cartwheels,
(23:56):
games, airplanes. What's me now?
A traveller. What's me now?
Richly feeling every moment. What's me now?
Judgment free. What's me now?
Judgy as fuck and admitting it and calling out the judgments
(24:19):
and holding the complexity and and being loving even when I see
something that's outside of my values.
What's me now? Calling it my shit when I say a
mistruth? What's me now?
A lover, a friend, a sister, a daughter.
(24:47):
Passionate, bold. Uttering my truth.
What's me now? A powerhouse, An incredible
coach and mentor. Someone who stands for your
growth, your truth. What's me now?
(25:10):
Learning to unveil, unleash and unravel every expression of what
isn't me so I can scream, This is me.
I want you to have that too. I am someone who stands for you,
creating what you desire, finding your truest self,
letting go of my shit, my desires for you, and allowing
(25:33):
you to find you. Holding you in so much loving
compassion that you've been witnessed in every victim's
story that you hold so that you can let it go and step into the
empowered story. I'm going to meet you with so
much deep, loving compassion, and I'm going to invite you to
see that you don't even need me anymore, because that's who I am
(25:54):
as a coach and a mentor, and that's what I want you to have
access to. So if you have questions about
what I do, I'd love you to reachout.
If you want to know someone elseyou might want to work with, ask
me that too. I'm here for you.
I'm here for this fucking space to be all of what you need, for
you to just be you, whatever thefuck that looks like.
(26:15):
This Isn't Me has been 100 episodes because I've continued
to share what's me over and overagain.
Even when it's fucking scary, even when it's fucking painful,
Even when it sucks, Even when there's shame.
Because that's what you get to be witnessed in all of it.
All of it. I'm done with the toxic
(26:35):
positivity bullshit. You have to feel it all.
You have to make capacity for all of it.
Like you see me smiling and speaking with strength and
crying at the same time. That's the duality you have to
feel it all. You want joy, feel your shame,
(26:56):
you want connection, feel your sadness, you want passion, feel
your anger. All of it is welcome here.
I'm alive again. This isn't you anymore, and this
is whatever this is for you. Happy 100 fucking episodes if
(27:20):
you've listened to them all. Fuck, thank you.
Holy shit. But what's more important, and
I'm going to speak this truth and I want you to hear it as
your own, is that I've listened to me 100 times.
I've listened to me and I've letmyself be wrong.
I've let myself change. I've let myself grow and evolve.
(27:40):
I've let myself let go. I've let myself step forward.
I've let myself make fucking hard decisions.
I've let myself love and let go,and now I'm ready to let myself
love and step forward in a wholenew ways this next season.
I'm calling it season 5. Who knows where we're actually
(28:01):
at. This is fire.
This is I'm so excited for what's going to be brought to
you. The guests that I have who are
professionals in their field whoare going to speak to you and
share the places I'm going to allow to work to access the
space that what we're creating. It lights me up inside it.
I'm so excited and I'll keep being raw and I'll keep being
(28:23):
real and I'll keep sharing what isn't me and what is over and
over and again. So thank you.
Thank you for being here. Please let me share with you
this space. If you have a this isn't me
story that you want to share, please e-mail me
veronicajaynejayne11@gmail.com. Share me your story, then jump
(28:48):
into your stories. Share an episode of This Isn't
Me podcast. It could be this one.
If that's your favorite, I'm notgoing to know if it's your
favorite or not. Pick one, tag me in your stories
and share why it's your favorite.
And then jump online to my website, www.veronicajane.com
and sign up to the e-mail list so that when you win the prize,
I can actually let you know. Two prizes up for grabs, one,
(29:11):
sharing your story on the podcast and two, a group program
so you can come and explore whatis isn't you anymore and what is
now. I love you and I love this
mission. I love what we're creating.
I love every one of you who getscurious and tunes in, who
reaches out, who shares. I want to do more, I want to do
(29:34):
better and I'm going to keep messing it up along the way and
learning as I go. Thanks for coming on the ride.
This has been Veronica Jane in love and learning and what isn't
me to find what is. Thank you so much for being
(29:55):
here. If you got value from today's
episode, it would mean the worldto me.
If you would like it, give it a five star review, share it with
a friend or share it on your socials.
And I would love to connect withyou on my socials at Veronica
Jane under Score on Instagram and www.veronicajane.com where
you can access links to all my offers and events.
Remember, we're always unbecoming.
(30:17):
What isn't us to become what is.This isn't me.
Ready to ditch the old stories and limiting beliefs and step
into your embodied knowing? I'm Veronica Jane, you're
fierce, fiery and deeply compassionate embodiment,
empowerment and relationships coach and mentor.
And this is This Isn't Me podcast.
Hello, welcome to another episode of this isn't me
podcast. I am Veronica Jane and this
(00:26):
isn't just another episode. This is episode 100.
Holy crap on a cracker. How did we get here?
That doesn't even account for all the episodes that are here
playing in my mind, the ones that are yet to hit the cutting
room floor and then make their way to you.
This isn't me anymore. And this is.
(00:47):
That's the title of this episode, and I'm so pumped to
bring it to you. We're gonna talk about what
we've let go, what we've learnedand who we are now.
Are you fucking ready? I'm so ready.
All right, let's start with that.
What isn't you anymore? Thank you to everyone who's
reached out and shared What isn't them.
Yeah, they're uncovering them. Story.
(01:10):
The one where they've unveiled, unleashed, unraveled who they
are to be like This isn't me anymore.
And this is, I'm so excited for those that are yet to share
their stories with me so that I can connect with you and relate
with you and share with you. And I'm so pumped to have one of
you on the podcast sharing your This Isn't Me story because
that's what life is about. It's about unlearning and
(01:33):
rediscovering. It's about uncovering and
reclaiming yourself. It's about unveiling, unleashing
and unraveling who you are. And that's the mission that I've
on here and I'm so excited to besharing that with you and for
you to be sharing that with me. So let's play.
So what isn't you anymore? What are those things that
(01:56):
you've seen have been coping strategies, survival instincts
and responses? They've been adaptive and are
now maladaptive things that you've outgrown and realized
That's not me. That's something I've just taken
on as a behavior strategy, as a survival mechanism.
And I get to be a different way now.
Like these are the things I've shed.
(02:16):
OK, what isn't me anymore? I'm talking beliefs, roles,
patterns, masks, businesses, people pleasing, good girl
scripts, all of it. Like what isn't you anymore?
So you can frame it in the like I'm no longer available for or
this isn't me or I'm never fucking with that again or I'm
complete with that or wow, I'm so grateful to have been that
(02:37):
way. And now I get to be a different
way. So what isn't me anymore?
Lazy. What isn't me anymore.
Hiding what isn't me anymore. Nice.
Yeah, love isn't nice. I was talking to a client about
this recently and she's like, fuck, that's real.
I think so many of us are sold into this like personal
(02:57):
development or this like spiritual frame that ends up
having us be a nice girl. You're not nice if you're
loving. You're compassionate.
You listen, you hold and you invite forward, especially in
your partnerships. Nice girls say like, oh, I get
it, honey, and let them stay thesame fucking alive.
(03:19):
Women who are being the highest expression of themselves are
like, I hear you and you're better than that.
Like this isn't the truest. You, babe, I can see this.
Can you not see it? Let's look at it together and
figure out how you can do better'cause you're the man who's
better than that. That's love, not nice.
What am I not anymore pretendingthat I don't have invaluable
(03:42):
tools to offer? I'm not like oh just doing this
podcast. Like fuck that shit.
I'm a woman who has powerful tools and techniques and
incredible programs to support you on yourself growth journey
of uncovering who you've been sothat you can be who you truly
are. I'm done pretending like I don't
have a fuck load of magic to offer.
(04:03):
What isn't me anymore? Overly apologetic, overly words
today, overly apologetic. I'm not saying sorry for my
truth. I just had a call with a client
who I shared the phrase self gaslighting, emotional
gaslighting. And she was like, wait, hold on,
(04:23):
say that. And I'm like, well, does that
feel true for you? Right?
Because I'm always testing things against your truth.
You have to run everything through your inner filter.
So I was like, does that feel like something you've done?
Is that connect with you? And she was like, whoa, So what
do you mean though? And I was like, well, are you
always running your experience through everyone else's or are
you able to validate your emotions and your perspective
and stand in that? And she's like, no, I'm, I'm
(04:44):
always running myself through the filter of everyone else.
Like, well, isn't that self gaslighting?
Like the power of nuance is thatyou can sit in your own
experience and be like, this wastrue for me.
This is valid. And let me come over there and
look from your perspective because that's true for you.
You know there's 360° from whicha point can be seen.
If you stand in a circle and look at one point, you can move
(05:06):
360° to see it. And it's all gonna be different.
And they're all true. It's just that most of us don't
operate that way. So I'm done self gaslighting.
That's not me anymore. I'm validating my truth.
And I what isn't me anymore is also dismissing someone else's
reality. I'm so of the mind and the heart
(05:27):
and the power of going. Let me step into your world.
Let me hold the complexity of this with you.
Let me stand in your truth for amoment and be with you.
I'm what isn't me anymore is this person who thinks empathy
is a weakness. I was presented this as a frame
from someone that you know that you're empathic.
You're embodying someone else's patheticness.
(05:48):
No pathos means feelings. You're embodying another's
feelings to be in the experiencewith them.
How fucking beautiful to be in it with them.
And then step out and offer the tools and strategies and
resources they have within them.Remind them so they can get
themselves out. Compassion and empathy are
superpowers. Yes.
(06:08):
Can you be overly empathic? Of course.
And can you sit in it and then embody too much and make it your
problem? Of course.
And I've been her, too. And I've done all expressions of
that. Now I'm in that compassionate
connection with you. What isn't me anymore?
Being poor. Yeah, that's done.
And also feeling the need to have money or desire things that
(06:31):
aren't true to my values. I've been fucking with as my
business got more and more successful.
What what do I want to spend money on?
What's important to me? Where's the value?
And I recognize that I tried to want things that I don't truly
want. You know, I had some things that
I invested in that I was like, this doesn't work towards future
me. This isn't actually the truth of
(06:51):
what I want. I don't value fancy clothes, I
don't value fancy cars. I don't value like luxury
experiences unless they're shared.
Like my highest values are experiences, enjoyment and
sharing with people. And so my money is going to be
saved to share that with people.You know, my future man, my
(07:12):
future children, my friends, my family.
Like that's my value. So what isn't me anymore is
someone who is spending money just to see if it feels good.
Like spending money other people's way.
Yeah. What isn't me anymore?
Boring. Boring.
(07:33):
I'm so done. Like masking and being boring
for other people and being like a placator.
What isn't me? Throughout this podcast, I've
learned that like, I'm someone who goes hard and fast, who
loves big and who loves variety.Who loves experiences, Who loves
newness, who loves novelty? And I get that.
I get to have friends and partners who value that too.
(07:56):
What isn't me is boring. What else does it mean that I've
discovered through this 100 episodes?
What about you? Like which of these are
relating? What isn't me Is selfish.
Making this about myself. There's been times where I think
I've gotten lost in the selfishness of it, and it's this
complexity of being sovereign and putting myself at the
(08:18):
forefront of my mind in the sense that I see it helps
everyone in the way that I want to grow, to help others grow.
I want to share to help others share.
I want to create this to help all of us.
So I'm learning that deeper and deeper.
What doesn't me that I found in 100 episodes?
Fancy. Yeah.
Like, I don't need a podcast studio.
(08:38):
It was fun. But what isn't me is someone who
needs to be in front of expensive equipment or in a
certain space because other people do it.
Like, I love doing this in frontof my Sony camera with my Blue
Yeti microphone. Like, those are great pieces of
equipment. And I'm in my bedroom.
That's also my office. I'm not fancy.
(08:59):
I can be. I can be all the things.
And at my truest self. I don't desire to spend a lot of
life being fancy. What does it mean that I've
discovered in 100 episodes? Inconsistent, inconsistent and
messy. I'm learning to offer what
Ioffer in a consistent way that's clean, that's high
(09:20):
quality, that's valuable for you.
And I'm learning how to do that better and better all the time.
So I want to know what isn't youthrough these 100 episodes,
guys? What have you uncovered isn't
you anymore? Hopefully you've seen my
Instagram stories and if you haven't, I'll drop it here.
I'm running a giveaway, a littlecompetition and there's 2
prizes. 1 is you'll be in one ofmy group containers.
(09:41):
You can choose from the one starting in July or the one
starting in September. And the other prize is to be on
the podcast sharing your story. So all you have to do is reshare
your favorite episode on Apple podcast or Spotify.
You could click share, put it inyour IG stories, tell me why
it's your favorite and tag me. Yeah.
Then e-mail me What isn't you? What's something you've
discovered isn't you? And then jump onto my website
and subscribe to my e-mail list so I can tell you when you've
(10:02):
won. This is a shared experience.
I want to know what you're learning through this, through
your own life that this podcast is helping you access.
Because you slide into my DMS and I love it.
And I want you to be loud with it.
Because what if what isn't you is hidden in the shadows?
My speaker just turned off. What if what isn't you is this
(10:23):
person who has to be quiet with their growth?
What if you were someone loud with your growth?
Imagine sharing what isn't you on a podcast that reaches
thousands. How good would that feel?
How empowering could that be foryou?
If that's you, I hope you do e-mail me and tell me what isn't
you and what you've learned through these 100 episodes, your
favorite episode, and what isn'tyou anymore.
(10:46):
So yeah, there's so many things that aren't me anymore.
And the beauty of this evolutionis that it's continual.
You know what isn't me anymore? Oh fuck.
I almost missed some of the biggest shit that I've been
evolving into. What isn't me anymore is like
morally presentable. I don't know if you've noticed,
but things have gotten spicier because what isn't me is a good
(11:08):
girl in the bedroom. What isn't me is like pleasant
and presentable. Guys, I'm loud, I'm out there,
I'm sexual, I'm kinky, I'm fiery, I'm passionate, I'm big
with how I feel and I want you to be too.
Your version of that, what isn'tme, is hiding behind some sense
of morality, good girl, right and wrong, feeling afraid to
(11:29):
show my skin, to touch my skin, to invite you to do the same.
And yeah, I take it to extremes.Did you notice?
Because I know if I lead from there, you stepping one step
closer to where you want to go is easier.
If Veronica's out there half naked on Instagram, imagine you
wearing the top or the dress that your mother-in-law doesn't
improve of and posting a photo on Instagram.
(11:50):
Like the freedom and permission piece in that you know you get
to explore to your edges and what feels great for you.
So what isn't me is this girl who's worried about am I showing
too much skin? Am I talking too much about sex?
Because fuck that noise. What isn't me is someone who
puts someone else's truth ahead of their own.
My truth is that sex is a powerful portal, an avenue, a
(12:12):
platform to learn sovereignty, to learn self-expression, to
learn boundaries, to learn what's truly you, to ask for
what you want, to allow beauty and pleasure, to allow yourself
to have it all. To do that with love, to
connect, to share their fears, to share their desires.
(12:32):
You get to practice all of that.Yeah, in that platform.
Imagine that. Imagine learning to play in the
bedroom so that you can play in life.
Just an idea. So I'm done following some moral
compass. I'm me.
(12:54):
That was cathartic. I'm sure there's more, and I'll
drop them through my social media as this episode drops.
And I'd love for you to drop yours.
What isn't you anymore? What isn't you anymore?
What are you done being, pretending, masking.
It's time. So the other piece I'd like to
share today is another segment for this episode is what I'd
(13:16):
tell Episode 1 Veronica. Like I want to talk to her and
give her the truths and give herthe grace and the the kick ass
kick up the butt talk she needed.
So I'm going to do it like a letter to myself and I'm going
to do it from my heart. So let me go back.
(13:38):
I haven't like written anything down.
This is going to just come out live for you because this is how
I think the biggest growth happens is unplanned, unscripted
from the heart. So to give you a picture, I
started recording this podcast. That's 2025.
What would it have been? 2022?
I think like maybe September 2022.
(14:02):
Yeah, I think that's right. And I was a girl who was
heartbroken, who was so self abandoning.
I was a girl who had just left an open relationship and had two
years before left a marriage whowasn't sure what she was doing
for her career. She had just started or had been
(14:24):
in the middle of studying biomedical yoga and meditation
and was consuming a lot of personal development content,
reading all the books and was starting to go, OK, well, I'm
the creator, I've got something to share.
How do I learn? How do I step in?
Messy and incomplete? Because that's all of us.
And So what would I say to her, that girl who was like, the
(14:48):
first few episodes were recordedin a little cottage up on the
hillside on the way to an inlandcity near Brisbane in Australia
called Toowoomba. And I was there recording,
sorry, as a part of a theater production.
And I was staying at this beautiful college cottage with
all these plants and, like, weird little gnomes and
figurines. And I just set up this
(15:10):
microphone off. I didn't do any video recording
at the time and just started recording my heart, my truth,
what wasn't me. So if you want to go back and
see her and fill her in Episode 1, listen to her.
She's there. So I'm going to speak to her
now. But I'd tell Episode 1 Veronica
(15:30):
as the me that I am now. Hey, girl, I'm so fucking proud
of you for starting messy, for starting uncertain.
I'm so proud of you for finding your voice because for so many
years, you said what people wanted you to say, you said what
(15:53):
they wanted to hear. And just by speaking out loud,
just by a fucking off Carrie, ifanyone even listened.
You have changed so many people's lives.
You're gonna change so many people's lives.
(16:13):
You're going to reach thousands,10s of thousands, hundreds of
thousands one day with your truth that is about them finding
their truth. I'm so proud of you for finding
your voice and for saying the hard things.
I'm so proud of you for pushing past the societal norms and
(16:34):
boundaries of what you're allowed to talk about in public
and screaming fuck that to the bullshit of pretending.
I'm so fucking proud of you for calling out these ways that
women repress themselves, repress their truth, repress
their desires or press their sexuality, repress their
(16:58):
ability, their power. Girl, do you have any idea how
much power is coming from what you're creating today?
By you sharing what isn't you, you're going to help so many
women find what isn't them, findtheir own inner compass, their
own inners truth. You're going to reach people who
(17:20):
want to share their stories. You're going to reach people
whose businesses need a platform, whose stories need a
platform, whose hearts need to be felt.
I'm so fucking proud of you, andI want you to know it's going to
be messy along the way. You're going to doubt.
You're going to be inconsistent and it's perfect.
Just keep picking it back up. Go again.
(17:42):
Some people aren't going to likeyour story.
That guy, that girl, them, they're not going to like it.
They're not going to agree. That's OK.
It's your truth and it matters. You'll make space for their
truth too. You always do.
I want you to know that this is important, that it's going to
evolve. It's not just going to be a
(18:03):
podcast. What you're starting now is
going to lead you to what's nextand what's next and what's next
and it's needed. So keep going.
Fuck the technology, fuck the fancy things.
Just do it your way. It's your heart that people
feel. It's the truth that resonates
with people. Stay in that.
(18:24):
Doesn't have to look good, doesn't have to trend, it
doesn't have to go viral. Just has to be a truth.
And that's what people will feel.
So keep going, stare into that camera, speak into that
microphone, and speak truth for every woman who's hiding hers.
(18:48):
It matters, You matter, You can feel it.
Thank you. Oh fuck, that was more visceral
than I expected it to be. She got scared so many times.
(19:09):
That past version of me, She wanted to stop.
She wanted to quit. She wondered what was the point?
How do I afford to take this time?
How do I afford to invest the money?
How do I afford to keep going? Does this matter?
Is it important? Is this true?
And I'm so proud of me. And I hope in listening to that
(19:30):
you see that you now can speak to a past version of you.
You now can listen to a future version of you to help the you
now do what's next 'cause this podcast has been fucking
transformational for me. Like it's been such a catalyst
for me to keep going knowing that there's truths that I'm
(19:50):
speaking and even if I'm the only one listening, they matter.
Never mind all of you that reachout and say thank you.
You're saying the things I've been thinking in my mind for so
many years. You're saying the truths that
are whispered and you're screaming them loud.
And I'll be that person, and I'll keep being that person, and
I'll keep being imperfect along the way.
(20:14):
And I hope that you'll see that I trust that you'll see it and
feel it as the permission slip that you need to go out and
speak your truth, to step into your power.
Because that's why I do this. It's for you and every past and
future version of you, and everypast and future version of me
too. Yeah, sorry, that was really
(20:41):
emotional for me. So I'm wondering, I'd like to do
more episodes with your questions, with your, to offer
you what it is you want to work through.
So I'd love some questions, I'd love some topics and themes and
(21:01):
what has impacted you and what you want to explore and learn
next. Because this is about us.
And I'm so excited for the guests that I have booked that
are coming on clients, professionals and similar
fields. Those who are going to offer
their this isn't me stories. Those who are going to offer
tools and techniques to reach useven deeper because I don't
(21:22):
presume to know it all. I'm always learning.
And one guest specifically, I'm so excited to have on because
they've changed the way I see relating.
They've changed the way I've coached about relationships,
specifically your primary attachment figure like your
lover, your husband, your wife, your partner.
And they've potentially helped me be able to create real
(21:44):
partnership now in a way that I didn't see I was not doing
before. So I'm so excited for this
version of this isn't me and this version of me.
And what I want to share before I close out is what is me.
Yeah, this is me. I had a previous mentor
recommend to rename the podcast like the Veronica Show.
(22:07):
And I'm like, I get it, but it'snot what it is.
It's not about me. This isn't a show about me.
This is me being a mirror for you.
This is me being all of me. So you get to be all of you.
This is me is this is you. Like what connects?
What resonates? What's growing you so much
bigger than me? So I want to share what's me to
(22:28):
help you see what is you or whatcould be.
I want to share who the fuck I am now and who I'm becoming.
All of it. And I want you to reflect, to
see what's you now? So what's me now, Powerful.
(22:49):
What's me now standing in my truth?
What's me now? Filtering out the bullshit,
Discerning, not just ingesting information because it comes
from someone I love or respect. Remembering they're all human
too. People you love, they're human
too. So what's me now?
(23:10):
Nuanced, holding every perspective I can act as, and
looking to hold more. What's me now?
Soft learning to surrender, soften, be vulnerable What's me
now? Strong, bold, fiercely loving.
(23:35):
What's me now? Imperfect, always evolving.
What's me now? Humbling myself faster and
faster What's me now? Playful dancing, cartwheels,
(23:56):
games, airplanes. What's me now?
A traveller. What's me now?
Richly feeling every moment. What's me now?
Judgment free. What's me now?
Judgy as fuck and admitting it and calling out the judgments
(24:19):
and holding the complexity and and being loving even when I see
something that's outside of my values.
What's me now? Calling it my shit when I say a
mistruth? What's me now?
A lover, a friend, a sister, a daughter.
(24:47):
Passionate, bold. Uttering my truth.
What's me now? A powerhouse, An incredible
coach and mentor. Someone who stands for your
growth, your truth. What's me now?
(25:10):
Learning to unveil, unleash and unravel every expression of what
isn't me so I can scream, This is me.
I want you to have that too. I am someone who stands for you,
creating what you desire, finding your truest self,
letting go of my shit, my desires for you, and allowing
(25:33):
you to find you. Holding you in so much loving
compassion that you've been witnessed in every victim's
story that you hold so that you can let it go and step into the
empowered story. I'm going to meet you with so
much deep, loving compassion, and I'm going to invite you to
see that you don't even need me anymore, because that's who I am
(25:54):
as a coach and a mentor, and that's what I want you to have
access to. So if you have questions about
what I do, I'd love you to reachout.
If you want to know someone elseyou might want to work with, ask
me that too. I'm here for you.
I'm here for this fucking space to be all of what you need, for
you to just be you, whatever thefuck that looks like.
(26:15):
This Isn't Me has been 100 episodes because I've continued
to share what's me over and overagain.
Even when it's fucking scary, even when it's fucking painful,
Even when it sucks, Even when there's shame.
Because that's what you get to be witnessed in all of it.
All of it. I'm done with the toxic
(26:35):
positivity bullshit. You have to feel it all.
You have to make capacity for all of it.
Like you see me smiling and speaking with strength and
crying at the same time. That's the duality you have to
feel it all. You want joy, feel your shame,
(26:56):
you want connection, feel your sadness, you want passion, feel
your anger. All of it is welcome here.
I'm alive again. This isn't you anymore, and this
is whatever this is for you. Happy 100 fucking episodes if
(27:20):
you've listened to them all. Fuck, thank you.
Holy shit. But what's more important, and
I'm going to speak this truth and I want you to hear it as
your own, is that I've listened to me 100 times.
I've listened to me and I've letmyself be wrong.
I've let myself change. I've let myself grow and evolve.
(27:40):
I've let myself let go. I've let myself step forward.
I've let myself make fucking hard decisions.
I've let myself love and let go,and now I'm ready to let myself
love and step forward in a wholenew ways this next season.
I'm calling it season 5. Who knows where we're actually
(28:01):
at. This is fire.
This is I'm so excited for what's going to be brought to
you. The guests that I have who are
professionals in their field whoare going to speak to you and
share the places I'm going to allow to work to access the
space that what we're creating. It lights me up inside it.
I'm so excited and I'll keep being raw and I'll keep being
(28:23):
real and I'll keep sharing what isn't me and what is over and
over and again. So thank you.
Thank you for being here. Please let me share with you
this space. If you have a this isn't me
story that you want to share, please e-mail me
veronicajaynejayne11@gmail.com. Share me your story, then jump
(28:48):
into your stories. Share an episode of This Isn't
Me podcast. It could be this one.
If that's your favorite, I'm notgoing to know if it's your
favorite or not. Pick one, tag me in your stories
and share why it's your favorite.
And then jump online to my website, www.veronicajane.com
and sign up to the e-mail list so that when you win the prize,
I can actually let you know. Two prizes up for grabs, one,
(29:11):
sharing your story on the podcast and two, a group program
so you can come and explore whatis isn't you anymore and what is
now. I love you and I love this
mission. I love what we're creating.
I love every one of you who getscurious and tunes in, who
reaches out, who shares. I want to do more, I want to do
(29:34):
better and I'm going to keep messing it up along the way and
learning as I go. Thanks for coming on the ride.
This has been Veronica Jane in love and learning and what isn't
me to find what is. Thank you so much for being
(29:55):
here. If you got value from today's
episode, it would mean the worldto me.
If you would like it, give it a five star review, share it with
a friend or share it on your socials.
And I would love to connect withyou on my socials at Veronica
Jane under Score on Instagram and www.veronicajane.com where
you can access links to all my offers and events.
Remember, we're always unbecoming.
(30:17):
What isn't us to become what is.This isn't me.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.