June 22, 2025 • 23 mins
Once upon a time… women’s emotions were blamed on a rogue uterus! Once upon a time… aka.. still kinda very much NOW!
Welcome to the bizarre, very real history of “hysteria”—a catch-all diagnosis used to explain everything from desire to defiance. And the treatment? “Pelvic massage”... By doctors… To bring them to orgasm. (But don’t worry—they didn’t call it orgasm)
In this juicy (and infuriatingly true) episode, we dive into the pseudoscience that pathologized women for being “too much, too loud, too sexual” aka simply… human!
This episode looks at how the Greeks thought your womb wandered around causing trouble, how orgasm were (and still can be) explored for medicinal purposes (now in the privacy of your own home!) and how you can get curious about bringing this “healing” into your own hands… (or the “hands” of a vibrator… Hey! It’s a legit medical device!)
The echoes of this are still seen in today’s cultural discomfort around women’s pleasure, power, and emotional expression! So here’s where you create the shift— what was once used on women (without any real agency)… you can now reclaim for yourself!
Pleasure is not a prescription (and if it was, I’d issue that to you!), it’s your birth right.
You don’t need a diagnosis or a doctor to explore your body, your emotions, or your power!
So let’s talk about self-pleasure as a healing, regulating, empowering practice—not a “cure” for being too much, but a celebration of ALL that you ARE!
Because your womb blank was never the problem, yet silencing your desire? That sure F*cking is!
Press play. Let’s reclaim the “hysteria”!🔥
Want that meditation pack? Grab it here!
Want to work together? I’d LOVE that! Enquire HERE
Or check out my website: www.veronicajayne.com and Instagram: @veronicajayne_
🎥 Did you know you can also watch episodes of This Isn’t Me on YouTube? Find me at @veronicajayne
~ In power, pleasure and purpose,
Veronica Jayne
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What can I see my doctor for that Ready to ditch the old
stories and limiting beliefs andstep into your embodied knowing?
I'm Veronica Jane, you're fierce, fiery and deeply
compassionate embodiment, empowerment and relationships
(00:20):
coach and mentor. And this is This Isn't Me
podcast. Welcome to another episode of
This Isn't Me podcast. I'm Veronica Jane and I'm so
grateful that you're here because I'm about to share some
history with you and get a bit fiery because what I learned
through a movie, I don't know, ayear or two ago is what I want
(00:41):
to talk today. But then I went and did some
research and put together a little synopsis for us today to
have some fun because girl, it is not OK for me.
And I hope it's not OK for you, for anyone to be calling you
hysterical. Let's talk about what hysteria
was in the past and why this is fucked up and what this means
(01:04):
for you. OK, so to do that, I'm gonna go
to a few notes I prepared earlier to talk to you about
being hysterical. So let me tell you a little bit
of history. I think you would have heard the
term, right? Well, she's hysterical.
Do you know the root of this? There's a really friggin great
movie that came out a couple of years ago.
Oh, hold on. Let me research what it was.
(01:26):
What was that movie about? Hysteria.
Oh, it's literally called Hysteria.
Yeah, great. And from 2011.
So I don't know how I found thisor why I found this like a
couple years ago, but I was like, is this legit?
And went and like researched thehistory around it and was so
frustrated, so fucking angry. Let's not use the nice girl word
(01:49):
for angry. I was fucking livid.
Just being like, well, this makes sense.
Like learning more and more about the marginalization and
the abuse of women and just any minority group, like makes me so
livid. And at the same time, like
totally makes sense that there'sso much fear internalized in us.
And when we find someone as other, we get afraid.
(02:11):
And we often as a culture and a humanity, we try to control them
or limit them. So I can make sense of it,
right? And have compassion and also be
like, fuck that. Like we got to keep awareness in
this stuff around these issues so that they continue to change
because this is not OK. So do you know this history?
I definitely recommend you go watch the movie because I was
laughing my ass off being like, is this legit?
(02:32):
So let me tell you a little bit about the history.
If you're worried about spoilers, go and watch the movie
because it's like, this is actual historical truth.
Obviously dramatized. But the word hysterical comes
from the group Greek word hysteria, meaning uterus.
From ancient times through to the 19th century.
Many medical professionals believe that women's emotional
and psychological disturbances like anxiety, desire like sexual
(02:55):
desire and irritability, and basically any behavior that they
couldn't predict or make sense of or was outside of the norm,
was due to a wandering womb. Yes, that's uh huh.
Yep. Mm, hmm.
That's right. So the literal roaming uterus is
what the word hysteria is derived from, Traveling around
the body, just causing problems.The damn womb, that wild uterus,
(03:18):
what, just, like, popping up allaround causing problems.
Like, could you imagine that your one major female organ
might be the cause of all your problems?
Well, that's what they were selling.
And that's not even the best part.
Like, hang on. Because they called this
hysteria right when you're wandering, womb would wander all
about, wreak havoc probably on your husband's life because you
don't want to do the dishes because you were four days out
(03:39):
from your bleed and he was beingunappreciative and you were
being demanding and. Yeah.
And so then rather than you 2 deconstructing it together and
realizing he never feels good enough and you feel like too
much and then loving each other through that, you just he gave
you a label and then you were like you're an asshole.
And no. Was I the only one that got
crazy? Got called got called crazy in a
(04:00):
marriage? That wasn't an exact story, but
it probably wasn't that far fromtrue.
Then we get to heal and grow. So, but did you know the doctors
used to do this? So this was like 18th century to
sometime in the 20th century where there was this catch all
diagnosis. So whenever women were like not
right of mind, they would like, maybe they weren't sleeping
(04:21):
right. So like, oh, hello, there's a
kitten. Sorry, baby, not right now.
They were having trouble sleeping.
They were nervous, they were faint, they were sexually
frustrated or had excessive emotions.
Yep, Yep. What they would do is pelvic
massage. Yeah, so they called it pelvic
massage to induce paroxysm. Do you know what they meant?
(04:46):
Orgasm. Orgasm.
Yes, sis, you heard me right. They would go to the doctor and
the doctor would prescribe them a pelvic massage, AKA they they
touched their pets till they orgasmed and they felt better.
What can I see my doctor for that?
(05:10):
OK, I'm joking because I know how to do that for myself and I
have lots of ways of creating that experience.
But does that not blow your mind?
Like, I learned so many things about medical history and I'm
just like, totally, sis, just totally fully trust the medical
system. They're 100% on right all the
time. And they always know what's
going on. There's never science that they
discover is a little bit crazy or theories that they realize
are inaccurate. No, that's yeah, it's totally,
(05:30):
100% trustworthy all the time. Even this modern medicine.
They're never, we're going to look back and like, you know,
1020 years ago, like, oh, maybe that wasn't the best idea to
just load you up with that drug and numb you out.
Cool, cool, cool, cool. So yeah, they didn't call it
orgasm because then we would acknowledge that women had
orgasms in a sexual drive. There are people in my life who
(05:51):
didn't know that women masturbated.
Can you even like this? And it's not their fault, right?
It's like cultural ignorance. But like, they called it a
release of hysterical energy. So you'd go to your doctor, he'd
wank you off and be like, there you go, I released your
hysterical energy, you hysterical woman.
What the fuck? So OK, there's more.
(06:14):
Usually the male doctors would manually stimulate the patient
under clinical settings because it was a valid medical
treatment. So it became so widespread that
doctors began to complain of hand cramps and fatigue, which
eventually led to the earliest invention of the vibrator.
It's a medical device and it just speed up the process.
(06:35):
Yep, female hysteria wand. That's what you've been using
all these years, clearing out your hysterical energy with your
medical machine. So why the fuck are you scared
to go into a sex shop or order from a website online?
Like sis it's medicine. I'm sorry, but if plants and
drugs that y'all are taking can be called medicine, OK.
(06:57):
Oh, my. OK.
I just saw the best prescription.
Are you right? If you're a female with any sort
of emotional expression right now, can you write?
This is a script for you. Are you ready?
I would like you to take a hero's dose.
A hero's dose of the pelvic massage.
Yeah, that's right. I want you to take a hero's dose
of your wand, The the medical device that you use to release
(07:21):
your hysterical energy. So that's going to look like a
few hours, potentially a whole weekend of you using your
medical wand to release your hysteria.
Make sure it's a hero's dose. Yeah, or it won't work.
You're a real hero. Get out there and orgasm, Sis.
For real. But can you see?
Am I OK? I can't be the only one who sees
(07:42):
this. This only stopped.
OK. This is the fucking wild, too.
This only stopped in like, the 1920s to 1950s.
So they it's like lost ground inthe historic, like,
psychological areas that they advance their research and
understanding that through feminism, which challenged a lot
of these, like, sexist medical views.
And again, there's my perspective on this and how far
(08:02):
it went is its own thing. But vibrators gradually got
sexualized because heaven forbidyou'd be able to release your
own hysteria. And now we can find it in our
bedrooms, which I think is just fun.
So yeah, how's that? Hysteria was a sexist medical
diagnosis used for centuries to explain women's emotions,
(08:24):
desire, or anything that made probably mostly men
uncomfortable. Hilarious.
I, I can't, I can't even with this.
So if you haven't watched that movie, please just go do
yourself a little, a little tickle of a favor.
The it's so funny because they'll do like pictures of
these women, like they would like lay them on a medical bed
and then they'd drag like a little curtain across like
(08:44):
they're about to have a cesareanor something.
And then they would like, what'sthe word I'm looking for?
Tantalize them, stimulate them. And the women were like 00.
And then the women would be going like once or twice a week
to have their hysteria removed. So they started going more and
more to the doctor. But of course the husbands had
to be OK with it because it was medical.
(09:07):
Fuck, this is so funny to me. So why am I telling you all this
other than for my own delight and entertainment?
And yours is because aside from the can we question what
medicine is saying and what psychology is saying?
And can we make our own decisions and can we learn about
our own body and create our own sovereignty?
Like, you know, just a side message.
(09:27):
It's also to recognize how important pleasure is.
Like when you think about it, when you look and see how it
feels in your body to have an orgasm, you're telling me you
don't have a better day after you start it with a little
tickle. You know you do.
And yet there's so many of us whose nervous systems are in so
much shut down and so much freeze.
(09:48):
We're so dissociated that we don't even know how to feel.
We don't know how to use pleasure to heal.
We don't know how to release thehysterical energy.
And so this is where I'm going to play in a few different
worlds with you. When I was that way, when I was
so shut down South, dissociated,having so many medical issues,
all I knew how to do was overthink and then hustle.
(10:10):
I used my own medical prescription of pleasure to find
my way into my nervous system. Because here's the thing about
polyvagal theory, right? It's like a ladder and we need
to move our way through from fight or flight or from freeze
and shut down to fight or flightinto the rest and digest state.
(10:30):
And so dysregulating your nervous system through pleasure
is a really beautiful and fun and safe that was once
historically medical way to movethat energy.
And The thing is, so many of youdon't feel into that area, don't
know if what pleasure feels likefor you, don't know how to have
(10:51):
orgasms, don't know if you're having orgasms.
So here's my prescription for you.
And I'm not a doctor, OK? Just get really clear on that.
This is personal advice. Yeah.
It's like, what would happen if you started to explore your
body? What if you got out of Free
State? And those are just some ideas,
right? What if you went and got
(11:12):
yourself a little toy a little like what if you went and got
yourself a little those specificnames I recommend feel free to
DM me a suction toy, a vibrator and just learn to feel.
What if you blocked out three hours in your calendar and sat
down with some coconut oil or you know, a non-toxic water
based lubricant and just felt? And for some of you, that
(11:35):
intensity of a vibrator or a suction toy is going to be
exactly what you need to elevateyourself up into the like fight
or flight. Like it's going to feel fucking
intense for you to then settle in after and come back to that
really grounded oxytocin fueled state.
And for some of you, you've desensitized the area.
I think medically they've shown that's not that possible now.
(11:56):
So that's not the right phrase, maybe, but you've given yourself
so much stimulation that you can't even detect the softness
anymore. Like you're mentally tuned out
to it. So what would happen if you
throw all those toys away and you just sat and gently tickled
yourself, caressed yourself, held yourself, and fuck all
(12:17):
those toys aside and any of thattouching?
If that's too far for you to start, what if you just sat with
your body, put on some beautifulmusic, lit some beautiful
smells, created the lighting, locked the door, put the phone
on silent, put some beautiful music on and just touched your
whole body, tickled your own hand, caressed your own arm,
(12:40):
held yourself, gave yourself an hour of self massage.
Just getting curious and exploring what feels good for me
and letting the arousal rise. Letting yourself feel into your
body, letting yourself feel irritable if it comes, letting
yourself feel frustrated, angry.Sometimes this masturbatory or
(13:04):
self pleasure practice isn't very pretty, isn't fun to look
at. Like I've had times where I've
been exploring my body that way and then my head is in my pillow
and I'm screaming, I'm raging, I'm crying.
That's that hysterical energy, babe.
Your body is holding so many memories that your mind has
pushed away or forgotten, and they move through your body.
(13:27):
When you come back into feeling,whether it's through gently
massaging your whole body, caressing your vulva or your
breasts, you're going to feel. Eventually you're going to feel.
And in that, there's going to besome yucky stuff for most, if
not all of us. And there might be moments where
you get bored. That's important too, sis.
(13:47):
Stop chasing dopamine. Just be.
Be in the stillness. Be in the feeling of you.
If your legs want to kick, if your arms want to flail, if you
want to writhe, if you want to scream, That's real sensual and
sexual energy. That's your hysteria.
(14:08):
Let your womb wander, sis. Let the emotions shift.
Let yourself express. Let yourself feel.
Because to come through to the pleasure, you often have to go
through the icky shit. I don't mean literally.
If that's your game, you do you.Like this is an invitation for
you to use what psychology and science accidentally just part
(14:29):
of me discovered years and yearsago and see that your pussy is a
portal to pleasure. That your nervous system can be
regulated through elevating, getting that arousal state and
then coming back into calm. Like can you actually just look
at it from a nervous nervous system perspective?
(14:51):
You're in dissociation, you're in shutdown.
Bring yourself into an arousal state, Sexual arousal through
touch, through vibration, through pleasure, through
movement to then climax or potentially not and come into a
more oxytocin fueled rest and digest state.
Guys, this is I'm not just posting sexual pictures of
(15:14):
myself for funsies. This is not about me.
This is about you leaning into this edge, this edge of arousal,
of pleasure, of nervous system arousal.
You know, I'm using pleasure as one of the many modalities and
tools and resources that offer you to arouse your nervous
system, to go and move through the emotions because most of you
(15:36):
are so numbed out. And that's so normal because
there was too many things for your nervous system to handle.
It makes sense. You shut it down.
You stop feeling. And yet, if you want to be alive
to life again, you have to feel.You just gotta.
And so when you're ready, I hopeyou'll free that hysterical
energy. Yeah, I hope you'll let yourself
(15:59):
play. I hope you'll let yourself get
dysregulated. I hope you'll let yourself get
aroused to move your way throughthat.
What if pleasure became your newpractice?
What if instead of a weekly therapy session, you had a
weekly self pleasure pleasure session?
What if you locked it out in your calendar and you just were
(16:19):
with yourself no matter what it looked like You had some
delicious essential oils or likesome Palo Santo.
You had a salt lamp or some Moody light.
You had your favorite music tracks playing and you just
breathed and touched and felt ah, my Veronica, my head.
OK, so one of the things that when I'm doing mindful ishness
(16:40):
practices has found is like my head loves to tell stories and
I'm pretty great now just watching the movie like, well,
that's cute. What's the little story we're
telling today? And like, I know it's not me.
I just observe it. Sometimes I'm like, hey guys,
you're reading a little loud. Can we tone it down?
Or sometimes I'm like, OK, there's something there I need
to listen to look at feel. And sometimes they just wander
and I just observe. What helped me is recognizing
(17:02):
verbal guided things helped me stay out of my head because then
my voice wasn't running the show.
Someone else's voice who was going a direction I wanted to go
was guiding me. That's why I love podcasts and
audiobooks and why I love listening to music and things
like rum Das and E forest combinations for meditation
music because I want a voice that gets louder than mine.
(17:25):
So I've run it through some clients and they're vibing what
I'm creating. I have a few different
meditations that I want to offeryou and they're kind of layered,
right? So the first two are beautiful
interim extra receptive meditation, a mindful Ishness
meditation where my voice speaksover yours or you listen to
where I'm guiding you to tune into what you feel, to what you
(17:46):
hear around you. And my clients are loving these.
So that's the first two that I'll offer as a little pack.
You can go to my website and check them out.
Yeah. And then there'll be a bundle
where you can get that plus a self pleasure track.
Yeah. And if you just want the self
pleasure track, that's availabletoo.
And that's where you get to takeyourself through just some more
(18:06):
sensual touch to really get to know you, how you feel.
And the other is coming soon, a full erotic meditation where I
invite you to go through deeper experience of pleasure, maybe to
climax with. There's music and there's guided
instructions to help you see andfeel what it would be like to
(18:29):
let your pleasure guide you. What it would be like to get
aroused and use Eros, the energyof Eroticism to catalyze you, to
get you moving, to get you feeling, to get you into that
arousal state, to then get you into that rest and digest.
That calm, that flow, that deep sensory smushiness in your body.
(18:52):
Because your analytical brain uphere, it can't run when you're
deeply in your feeling brain. They it can't run simultaneously
at the same rate. So let yourself feel.
Let yourself come into your feeling body for a while.
Hey, that's where your intuitionlives.
Your gut brain, your heart brainconnection happen when you are
able to down regulate to make your decisions from response
(19:16):
instead of react. So back to hysteria.
Use the history though like go and play.
And I know there's a version of me 25 years old, 27 years old,
who did not know how to have these conversations, who did not
think that was OK. You know, I remember even before
that in high school, someone be like, do you masturbate?
(19:38):
And I didn't even know what the word meant.
And I did it, but I lied and I was like, no L And then there
was a woman who got married and was given these sex books like
Tickle his Pickle and was still very closed off to what it would
feel like. I didn't have my first oral
orgasm well into my marriage andit's sad to think the way that I
(20:00):
suppressed myself but the connection to myself and to my
partner. When I was able to access and
share pleasure, when we were able to go into that arousal
state together and then settled into this juicy gooey comfort of
calm and connection and Co regulate after making love like
guys. Isn't that a beautiful way to do
(20:23):
your couples therapy? So I get it if this is making
you uncomfortable and that's whymy DMS are private.
If you want to slide in weird context to use that.
But if you want to slide into myDMS and talk about vibrators,
about self pleasure, if you wantto do that as a woman, because
some of you are taking this differently, get that.
(20:44):
It's my job, Yeah, to talk aboutwhat it would look like to learn
pleasure, to feel safe enough inyour nervous system, to rewrite
your rewrite your beliefs aroundpleasure.
I would love to help you. And again, that's only one
expression of my coaching. Visually, I'm trying to arouse
your curiosity enough for you toconsider that there are so many
(21:06):
ways we're going to explore you getting through that arousal
state, through that discomfort, to feel, to express and to move
forward so that you can spend more of your life in this
beautiful, calm, connected space.
So you're not hysterical. You're a woman desiring
pleasure, desiring, desiring thechemical cocktail that comes
(21:29):
through elevating and down regulating your nervous system,
that comes through orgasm, that comes through feeling, sensing,
playing, all of these ways to start connecting with more of
you. So if you're curious about what
this might look like, I have a new course as well that's
starting in a week or two. It's called You Do You, and it's
(21:51):
a group program that's full of somatic tools.
So pleasure modalities is only just one, and there'll be lots
of resources for you. We're also going to be looking
at how you use your voice, how you move your body.
Also going to be looking at waysthat you can use food, ways that
you can use light, sound, just playing with all your senses,
(22:14):
learning to dysregulate and regulate your nervous system,
all of these different somatic tools to move stuff that's been
stuck in your body through OK, because you're not hysterical,
you're a woman desiring pleasurein her body in all its forms.
I love you and I'll talk to you soon.
(22:37):
Thank you so much for being here.
If you got value from today's episode, it would mean the world
to me. If you would like it, give it a
five star review, share it with a friend or share it on your
socials. And I would love to connect with
you on my socials at Veronica Jane under score on Instagram
and www.veronicajane.com where you can access links to all my
offers and events. Remember, we're always
(23:00):
unbecoming. What isn't us to become what is.
This isn't me.
What can I see my doctor for that Ready to ditch the old
stories and limiting beliefs andstep into your embodied knowing?
I'm Veronica Jane, you're fierce, fiery and deeply
compassionate embodiment, empowerment and relationships
(00:20):
coach and mentor. And this is This Isn't Me
podcast. Welcome to another episode of
This Isn't Me podcast. I'm Veronica Jane and I'm so
grateful that you're here because I'm about to share some
history with you and get a bit fiery because what I learned
through a movie, I don't know, ayear or two ago is what I want
(00:41):
to talk today. But then I went and did some
research and put together a little synopsis for us today to
have some fun because girl, it is not OK for me.
And I hope it's not OK for you, for anyone to be calling you
hysterical. Let's talk about what hysteria
was in the past and why this is fucked up and what this means
(01:04):
for you. OK, so to do that, I'm gonna go
to a few notes I prepared earlier to talk to you about
being hysterical. So let me tell you a little bit
of history. I think you would have heard the
term, right? Well, she's hysterical.
Do you know the root of this? There's a really friggin great
movie that came out a couple of years ago.
Oh, hold on. Let me research what it was.
(01:26):
What was that movie about? Hysteria.
Oh, it's literally called Hysteria.
Yeah, great. And from 2011.
So I don't know how I found thisor why I found this like a
couple years ago, but I was like, is this legit?
And went and like researched thehistory around it and was so
frustrated, so fucking angry. Let's not use the nice girl word
(01:49):
for angry. I was fucking livid.
Just being like, well, this makes sense.
Like learning more and more about the marginalization and
the abuse of women and just any minority group, like makes me so
livid. And at the same time, like
totally makes sense that there'sso much fear internalized in us.
And when we find someone as other, we get afraid.
(02:11):
And we often as a culture and a humanity, we try to control them
or limit them. So I can make sense of it,
right? And have compassion and also be
like, fuck that. Like we got to keep awareness in
this stuff around these issues so that they continue to change
because this is not OK. So do you know this history?
I definitely recommend you go watch the movie because I was
laughing my ass off being like, is this legit?
(02:32):
So let me tell you a little bit about the history.
If you're worried about spoilers, go and watch the movie
because it's like, this is actual historical truth.
Obviously dramatized. But the word hysterical comes
from the group Greek word hysteria, meaning uterus.
From ancient times through to the 19th century.
Many medical professionals believe that women's emotional
and psychological disturbances like anxiety, desire like sexual
(02:55):
desire and irritability, and basically any behavior that they
couldn't predict or make sense of or was outside of the norm,
was due to a wandering womb. Yes, that's uh huh.
Yep. Mm, hmm.
That's right. So the literal roaming uterus is
what the word hysteria is derived from, Traveling around
the body, just causing problems.The damn womb, that wild uterus,
(03:18):
what, just, like, popping up allaround causing problems.
Like, could you imagine that your one major female organ
might be the cause of all your problems?
Well, that's what they were selling.
And that's not even the best part.
Like, hang on. Because they called this
hysteria right when you're wandering, womb would wander all
about, wreak havoc probably on your husband's life because you
don't want to do the dishes because you were four days out
(03:39):
from your bleed and he was beingunappreciative and you were
being demanding and. Yeah.
And so then rather than you 2 deconstructing it together and
realizing he never feels good enough and you feel like too
much and then loving each other through that, you just he gave
you a label and then you were like you're an asshole.
And no. Was I the only one that got
crazy? Got called got called crazy in a
(04:00):
marriage? That wasn't an exact story, but
it probably wasn't that far fromtrue.
Then we get to heal and grow. So, but did you know the doctors
used to do this? So this was like 18th century to
sometime in the 20th century where there was this catch all
diagnosis. So whenever women were like not
right of mind, they would like, maybe they weren't sleeping
(04:21):
right. So like, oh, hello, there's a
kitten. Sorry, baby, not right now.
They were having trouble sleeping.
They were nervous, they were faint, they were sexually
frustrated or had excessive emotions.
Yep, Yep. What they would do is pelvic
massage. Yeah, so they called it pelvic
massage to induce paroxysm. Do you know what they meant?
(04:46):
Orgasm. Orgasm.
Yes, sis, you heard me right. They would go to the doctor and
the doctor would prescribe them a pelvic massage, AKA they they
touched their pets till they orgasmed and they felt better.
What can I see my doctor for that?
(05:10):
OK, I'm joking because I know how to do that for myself and I
have lots of ways of creating that experience.
But does that not blow your mind?
Like, I learned so many things about medical history and I'm
just like, totally, sis, just totally fully trust the medical
system. They're 100% on right all the
time. And they always know what's
going on. There's never science that they
discover is a little bit crazy or theories that they realize
are inaccurate. No, that's yeah, it's totally,
(05:30):
100% trustworthy all the time. Even this modern medicine.
They're never, we're going to look back and like, you know,
1020 years ago, like, oh, maybe that wasn't the best idea to
just load you up with that drug and numb you out.
Cool, cool, cool, cool. So yeah, they didn't call it
orgasm because then we would acknowledge that women had
orgasms in a sexual drive. There are people in my life who
(05:51):
didn't know that women masturbated.
Can you even like this? And it's not their fault, right?
It's like cultural ignorance. But like, they called it a
release of hysterical energy. So you'd go to your doctor, he'd
wank you off and be like, there you go, I released your
hysterical energy, you hysterical woman.
What the fuck? So OK, there's more.
(06:14):
Usually the male doctors would manually stimulate the patient
under clinical settings because it was a valid medical
treatment. So it became so widespread that
doctors began to complain of hand cramps and fatigue, which
eventually led to the earliest invention of the vibrator.
It's a medical device and it just speed up the process.
(06:35):
Yep, female hysteria wand. That's what you've been using
all these years, clearing out your hysterical energy with your
medical machine. So why the fuck are you scared
to go into a sex shop or order from a website online?
Like sis it's medicine. I'm sorry, but if plants and
drugs that y'all are taking can be called medicine, OK.
(06:57):
Oh, my. OK.
I just saw the best prescription.
Are you right? If you're a female with any sort
of emotional expression right now, can you write?
This is a script for you. Are you ready?
I would like you to take a hero's dose.
A hero's dose of the pelvic massage.
Yeah, that's right. I want you to take a hero's dose
of your wand, The the medical device that you use to release
(07:21):
your hysterical energy. So that's going to look like a
few hours, potentially a whole weekend of you using your
medical wand to release your hysteria.
Make sure it's a hero's dose. Yeah, or it won't work.
You're a real hero. Get out there and orgasm, Sis.
For real. But can you see?
Am I OK? I can't be the only one who sees
(07:42):
this. This only stopped.
OK. This is the fucking wild, too.
This only stopped in like, the 1920s to 1950s.
So they it's like lost ground inthe historic, like,
psychological areas that they advance their research and
understanding that through feminism, which challenged a lot
of these, like, sexist medical views.
And again, there's my perspective on this and how far
(08:02):
it went is its own thing. But vibrators gradually got
sexualized because heaven forbidyou'd be able to release your
own hysteria. And now we can find it in our
bedrooms, which I think is just fun.
So yeah, how's that? Hysteria was a sexist medical
diagnosis used for centuries to explain women's emotions,
(08:24):
desire, or anything that made probably mostly men
uncomfortable. Hilarious.
I, I can't, I can't even with this.
So if you haven't watched that movie, please just go do
yourself a little, a little tickle of a favor.
The it's so funny because they'll do like pictures of
these women, like they would like lay them on a medical bed
and then they'd drag like a little curtain across like
(08:44):
they're about to have a cesareanor something.
And then they would like, what'sthe word I'm looking for?
Tantalize them, stimulate them. And the women were like 00.
And then the women would be going like once or twice a week
to have their hysteria removed. So they started going more and
more to the doctor. But of course the husbands had
to be OK with it because it was medical.
(09:07):
Fuck, this is so funny to me. So why am I telling you all this
other than for my own delight and entertainment?
And yours is because aside from the can we question what
medicine is saying and what psychology is saying?
And can we make our own decisions and can we learn about
our own body and create our own sovereignty?
Like, you know, just a side message.
(09:27):
It's also to recognize how important pleasure is.
Like when you think about it, when you look and see how it
feels in your body to have an orgasm, you're telling me you
don't have a better day after you start it with a little
tickle. You know you do.
And yet there's so many of us whose nervous systems are in so
much shut down and so much freeze.
(09:48):
We're so dissociated that we don't even know how to feel.
We don't know how to use pleasure to heal.
We don't know how to release thehysterical energy.
And so this is where I'm going to play in a few different
worlds with you. When I was that way, when I was
so shut down South, dissociated,having so many medical issues,
all I knew how to do was overthink and then hustle.
(10:10):
I used my own medical prescription of pleasure to find
my way into my nervous system. Because here's the thing about
polyvagal theory, right? It's like a ladder and we need
to move our way through from fight or flight or from freeze
and shut down to fight or flightinto the rest and digest state.
(10:30):
And so dysregulating your nervous system through pleasure
is a really beautiful and fun and safe that was once
historically medical way to movethat energy.
And The thing is, so many of youdon't feel into that area, don't
know if what pleasure feels likefor you, don't know how to have
(10:51):
orgasms, don't know if you're having orgasms.
So here's my prescription for you.
And I'm not a doctor, OK? Just get really clear on that.
This is personal advice. Yeah.
It's like, what would happen if you started to explore your
body? What if you got out of Free
State? And those are just some ideas,
right? What if you went and got
(11:12):
yourself a little toy a little like what if you went and got
yourself a little those specificnames I recommend feel free to
DM me a suction toy, a vibrator and just learn to feel.
What if you blocked out three hours in your calendar and sat
down with some coconut oil or you know, a non-toxic water
based lubricant and just felt? And for some of you, that
(11:35):
intensity of a vibrator or a suction toy is going to be
exactly what you need to elevateyourself up into the like fight
or flight. Like it's going to feel fucking
intense for you to then settle in after and come back to that
really grounded oxytocin fueled state.
And for some of you, you've desensitized the area.
I think medically they've shown that's not that possible now.
(11:56):
So that's not the right phrase, maybe, but you've given yourself
so much stimulation that you can't even detect the softness
anymore. Like you're mentally tuned out
to it. So what would happen if you
throw all those toys away and you just sat and gently tickled
yourself, caressed yourself, held yourself, and fuck all
(12:17):
those toys aside and any of thattouching?
If that's too far for you to start, what if you just sat with
your body, put on some beautifulmusic, lit some beautiful
smells, created the lighting, locked the door, put the phone
on silent, put some beautiful music on and just touched your
whole body, tickled your own hand, caressed your own arm,
(12:40):
held yourself, gave yourself an hour of self massage.
Just getting curious and exploring what feels good for me
and letting the arousal rise. Letting yourself feel into your
body, letting yourself feel irritable if it comes, letting
yourself feel frustrated, angry.Sometimes this masturbatory or
(13:04):
self pleasure practice isn't very pretty, isn't fun to look
at. Like I've had times where I've
been exploring my body that way and then my head is in my pillow
and I'm screaming, I'm raging, I'm crying.
That's that hysterical energy, babe.
Your body is holding so many memories that your mind has
pushed away or forgotten, and they move through your body.
(13:27):
When you come back into feeling,whether it's through gently
massaging your whole body, caressing your vulva or your
breasts, you're going to feel. Eventually you're going to feel.
And in that, there's going to besome yucky stuff for most, if
not all of us. And there might be moments where
you get bored. That's important too, sis.
(13:47):
Stop chasing dopamine. Just be.
Be in the stillness. Be in the feeling of you.
If your legs want to kick, if your arms want to flail, if you
want to writhe, if you want to scream, That's real sensual and
sexual energy. That's your hysteria.
(14:08):
Let your womb wander, sis. Let the emotions shift.
Let yourself express. Let yourself feel.
Because to come through to the pleasure, you often have to go
through the icky shit. I don't mean literally.
If that's your game, you do you.Like this is an invitation for
you to use what psychology and science accidentally just part
(14:29):
of me discovered years and yearsago and see that your pussy is a
portal to pleasure. That your nervous system can be
regulated through elevating, getting that arousal state and
then coming back into calm. Like can you actually just look
at it from a nervous nervous system perspective?
(14:51):
You're in dissociation, you're in shutdown.
Bring yourself into an arousal state, Sexual arousal through
touch, through vibration, through pleasure, through
movement to then climax or potentially not and come into a
more oxytocin fueled rest and digest state.
Guys, this is I'm not just posting sexual pictures of
(15:14):
myself for funsies. This is not about me.
This is about you leaning into this edge, this edge of arousal,
of pleasure, of nervous system arousal.
You know, I'm using pleasure as one of the many modalities and
tools and resources that offer you to arouse your nervous
system, to go and move through the emotions because most of you
(15:36):
are so numbed out. And that's so normal because
there was too many things for your nervous system to handle.
It makes sense. You shut it down.
You stop feeling. And yet, if you want to be alive
to life again, you have to feel.You just gotta.
And so when you're ready, I hopeyou'll free that hysterical
energy. Yeah, I hope you'll let yourself
(15:59):
play. I hope you'll let yourself get
dysregulated. I hope you'll let yourself get
aroused to move your way throughthat.
What if pleasure became your newpractice?
What if instead of a weekly therapy session, you had a
weekly self pleasure pleasure session?
What if you locked it out in your calendar and you just were
(16:19):
with yourself no matter what it looked like You had some
delicious essential oils or likesome Palo Santo.
You had a salt lamp or some Moody light.
You had your favorite music tracks playing and you just
breathed and touched and felt ah, my Veronica, my head.
OK, so one of the things that when I'm doing mindful ishness
(16:40):
practices has found is like my head loves to tell stories and
I'm pretty great now just watching the movie like, well,
that's cute. What's the little story we're
telling today? And like, I know it's not me.
I just observe it. Sometimes I'm like, hey guys,
you're reading a little loud. Can we tone it down?
Or sometimes I'm like, OK, there's something there I need
to listen to look at feel. And sometimes they just wander
and I just observe. What helped me is recognizing
(17:02):
verbal guided things helped me stay out of my head because then
my voice wasn't running the show.
Someone else's voice who was going a direction I wanted to go
was guiding me. That's why I love podcasts and
audiobooks and why I love listening to music and things
like rum Das and E forest combinations for meditation
music because I want a voice that gets louder than mine.
(17:25):
So I've run it through some clients and they're vibing what
I'm creating. I have a few different
meditations that I want to offeryou and they're kind of layered,
right? So the first two are beautiful
interim extra receptive meditation, a mindful Ishness
meditation where my voice speaksover yours or you listen to
where I'm guiding you to tune into what you feel, to what you
(17:46):
hear around you. And my clients are loving these.
So that's the first two that I'll offer as a little pack.
You can go to my website and check them out.
Yeah. And then there'll be a bundle
where you can get that plus a self pleasure track.
Yeah. And if you just want the self
pleasure track, that's availabletoo.
And that's where you get to takeyourself through just some more
(18:06):
sensual touch to really get to know you, how you feel.
And the other is coming soon, a full erotic meditation where I
invite you to go through deeper experience of pleasure, maybe to
climax with. There's music and there's guided
instructions to help you see andfeel what it would be like to
(18:29):
let your pleasure guide you. What it would be like to get
aroused and use Eros, the energyof Eroticism to catalyze you, to
get you moving, to get you feeling, to get you into that
arousal state, to then get you into that rest and digest.
That calm, that flow, that deep sensory smushiness in your body.
(18:52):
Because your analytical brain uphere, it can't run when you're
deeply in your feeling brain. They it can't run simultaneously
at the same rate. So let yourself feel.
Let yourself come into your feeling body for a while.
Hey, that's where your intuitionlives.
Your gut brain, your heart brainconnection happen when you are
able to down regulate to make your decisions from response
(19:16):
instead of react. So back to hysteria.
Use the history though like go and play.
And I know there's a version of me 25 years old, 27 years old,
who did not know how to have these conversations, who did not
think that was OK. You know, I remember even before
that in high school, someone be like, do you masturbate?
(19:38):
And I didn't even know what the word meant.
And I did it, but I lied and I was like, no L And then there
was a woman who got married and was given these sex books like
Tickle his Pickle and was still very closed off to what it would
feel like. I didn't have my first oral
orgasm well into my marriage andit's sad to think the way that I
(20:00):
suppressed myself but the connection to myself and to my
partner. When I was able to access and
share pleasure, when we were able to go into that arousal
state together and then settled into this juicy gooey comfort of
calm and connection and Co regulate after making love like
guys. Isn't that a beautiful way to do
(20:23):
your couples therapy? So I get it if this is making
you uncomfortable and that's whymy DMS are private.
If you want to slide in weird context to use that.
But if you want to slide into myDMS and talk about vibrators,
about self pleasure, if you wantto do that as a woman, because
some of you are taking this differently, get that.
(20:44):
It's my job, Yeah, to talk aboutwhat it would look like to learn
pleasure, to feel safe enough inyour nervous system, to rewrite
your rewrite your beliefs aroundpleasure.
I would love to help you. And again, that's only one
expression of my coaching. Visually, I'm trying to arouse
your curiosity enough for you toconsider that there are so many
(21:06):
ways we're going to explore you getting through that arousal
state, through that discomfort, to feel, to express and to move
forward so that you can spend more of your life in this
beautiful, calm, connected space.
So you're not hysterical. You're a woman desiring
pleasure, desiring, desiring thechemical cocktail that comes
(21:29):
through elevating and down regulating your nervous system,
that comes through orgasm, that comes through feeling, sensing,
playing, all of these ways to start connecting with more of
you. So if you're curious about what
this might look like, I have a new course as well that's
starting in a week or two. It's called You Do You, and it's
(21:51):
a group program that's full of somatic tools.
So pleasure modalities is only just one, and there'll be lots
of resources for you. We're also going to be looking
at how you use your voice, how you move your body.
Also going to be looking at waysthat you can use food, ways that
you can use light, sound, just playing with all your senses,
(22:14):
learning to dysregulate and regulate your nervous system,
all of these different somatic tools to move stuff that's been
stuck in your body through OK, because you're not hysterical,
you're a woman desiring pleasurein her body in all its forms.
I love you and I'll talk to you soon.
(22:37):
Thank you so much for being here.
If you got value from today's episode, it would mean the world
to me. If you would like it, give it a
five star review, share it with a friend or share it on your
socials. And I would love to connect with
you on my socials at Veronica Jane under score on Instagram
and www.veronicajane.com where you can access links to all my
offers and events. Remember, we're always
(23:00):
unbecoming. What isn't us to become what is.
This isn't me.
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