June 29, 2025 • 25 mins
Ever wonder why telling him what you want or hitting post feels like standing in front of a firing squad? Why sharing your voice, your work, your truth still brings up shame, procrastination, perfectionism—or straight-up panic?
That’s not just your personal insecurity; it’s a wound— a generational, collective, and very real wound!
The visibility wound—that fear of being fully seen in your power, your truth, or your pleasure and how it collides with the witch wound—the historical, ancestral trauma that still echoes through the bodies of women who dare to be wise, sensual, intuitive, or outspoken!
From self-censoring to people-pleasing… From shrinking your gifts to hypervigilance around safety… This episode is your reminder:
You’re not “too much.” You’re not imagining it. And you’re definitely not alone.
Your visibility fear might actually be your body remembering a time when being seen meant danger. Here’s the truth: The part of you that wants to be seen? That wants to roar, radiate, and rise? She’s not the threat, she’s the medicine you need.
Reclaim your voice, your visibility and your truth. .
—
Want to work together? I’d LOVE that! Enquire HERE: https://calendly.com/d/cnqf-jcc-p72 Or check out my website: www.veronicajayne.com and Instagram: @veronicajayne_
🎥 Did you know you can also watch episodes of This Isn’t Me on YouTube? Find me at @veronicajayne
~ In love and learning, Veronica Jayne
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I've started a new relationship and I've been hesitant to talk
about it. I found someone that I can
unlearn a lot with and I get to be seen in that.
And I have to be willing to takeon the risk that it could end
and that he could hurt me and that I could hurt him and choose
(00:20):
something different anyway, ready to ditch the old stories
and limiting beliefs and step into your embodied knowing.
I'm Veronica Jane, you're fierce, fiery and deeply
compassionate embodiment, empowerment and relationships
coach and mentor. And this is This Isn't Me
podcast. Hi, welcome to another episode
(00:44):
of This Isn't Me podcast. I'm Veronica Jane, and I'm super
grateful that you're here to uncover what isn't you to
rediscover what is. And just here here because
you're listening to yourself, that inner whisper, maybe the
inner scream, you know, because you're listening to a woman
who's finding her voice, who's found it beyond what she ever
(01:06):
imagined is possible and yet is still finding it at new depths
in new truths. And so that's what I want to
talk to you about today, this idea that for many of us, and
specifically due to history, women and those who have been
minority in some way, this idea of the visibility wound, yeah,
(01:30):
or the witch wound. And let's chat about those and
the way they overlap. So I wonder how easy it is for
you to be seen this whole culture at the moment.
There's this trend to be like popular, famous Insta or TikTok
trending, right? And so there's one level of
(01:53):
visibility in that, sure. Like what I do here, sharing my
whole trauma story, sharing my growth, sharing my mistakes.
That's huge for me to have foundmy voice enough to be able to
speak my truth and know that it might not be all of yours and
that the world might not agree that there's people who have a
different experience and, and will hate what I'm saying.
(02:15):
And there's many who will have asimilar experience and be
completely set free by what I share and what I say.
And it can be easier sometimes to share with the whole Internet
than it can be to share with your intimate lover, your best
friend, or your family. And I'm going to share today
(02:35):
from a few different lenses, like some that you could see as
Wooey in that there's things that we can't yet explain that
can occur. And yet science gives us a good
rationale enough that we could explain it away enough to not
need anything magical. And you'll get an episode from
me soon. I had a client who's like, oh,
(02:56):
via I was listening to 20 episodes and you're so resistant
to the woo. And Ellie used to say that.
And my best friend says that andI look at it right.
And so I'll create a whole episode about why.
And today I'll share like I always do from both frames, from
the what if there's something beyond?
And then what if science can explain it all?
(03:17):
Because, yeah, sometimes it's harder to be seen by the people
you care about or love the most.And from a scientific
perspective, that makes sense. If we are ostracized or other in
community, from an animal perspective, we're unsafe.
Yeah. Like we're the weak one.
I picture like hyenas running onthe plains and the lions, you
(03:42):
know, working off the weak ones of, I mean, even the hyenas and
the lions both hunt the deer or the antelope, you know what I
mean? Let's go back with antelope then
those running in the field, the ones that are different, that
are weak, that are not protectedby their clan, by their group,
by their herd, they're the ones that get haunted off and die.
So it's in our evolutionary DNA to be afraid of being different
(04:06):
because then we're not safe, right?
And so how this shows up for so many of us, and I'm going to
speak mostly to women today because that's my experience and
a lot of you are women, is this visibility wound is the sphere
of resistance to being fully seen and battling this internal
conflict of like, what if I speak my truth?
What if I shine brightly? What if I bring my magic?
(04:26):
And what if it gets disrupted? What if it gets chastised?
What if it gets shamed? What if it gets me burnt at the
stake? Yeah.
When it comes to speaking your truth and standing in your power
or owning your pleasure, this isso common for so many.
Maybe it looks like you judging yourself or having the others
(04:47):
outside of you judge you and then you questioning their love.
This happened for somebody I care about very deeply recently
where she was sharing her experience and it really brought
up a lot for someone she cares deeply about.
And she saw in it the nuance of their subjective experience
being so different and the need for her to continue to speak
what matters to her heart and todo it potentially with a little
(05:09):
more forewarning. And ultimately to know that it's
what needs to be said, that it'sreal for her and then it it's
important for her to own that there's this visibility wound
brings up the sense of like, I'mtoo much.
And then you self censor and youshrink and it's bullshit.
Like really look out into the world to the people who have
made the most change, right? Is this idea of like women
(05:32):
throughout history who have changed the course of history
have been the ones that have been way too much.
They said fuck self censoring. I'm going to say the damn thing.
Fuck shrinking to play it safe. Like I'm going to go out there
and say what I need to say, be seen, and like stand in the
fullness of it and like change the public perspective of
(05:53):
something massive. Take a stand for something
that's been socially normalized for so long.
Who's going to insist that the treatment of someone looks
different now? Who's going to stand for
minority when their voice isn't loud enough?
And fucking yes to every single one of you, every single one of
you throughout history who goes out there and says they're a
(06:14):
hard thing. Maybe from a soul perspective,
that's what we're all here to dois to like learn and speak our
truth and iterate through it andbe here to see a broader
perspective of the human experience, to feel it and live
it as well. Because when you sit in this
fear of being seen, right, what does that lead to?
(06:35):
Well, you end up fucking procrastinating like crazy and
then you feel lazy and you don'tdo the thing you know you're
here to do or that you desire todo because you're so afraid of,
of putting it out there of what the possible repercussions could
be. I'm just observing my hair and
being seen in my greasy. It's actually, it's alright.
(06:56):
That sort of shit used to reallyget me like, Oh no, what does it
look like? What does it sound like?
Like what happens if my audio quality is not great, if my hair
is not great, if my lighting is not great?
Now I just create and I still see that thought come in right?
And that's why I say it out loudis to be like, there's still,
this shows up in its own form for me.
Even though I share with thousands of people through my
(07:18):
podcast, there's still little thoughts that come in that I
don't let win. Like Oh no, your hair's a bit
messy or looks oily in this light or Oh no, you don't have
your ring light now it's broken.Should you wait to get a new
one? Like fuck all that silly ass
bullshit internal dialogue that can hold you back.
And that's petty as fuck. Shit, right?
The heavier stuff is things likewhat is What do my ex-husband
(07:41):
think of this? And do I say things that hurt
him and offend him? Because I don't want to do that.
And yeah, it's my reality. Other things that my family are
disappointed that I say publicly.
What do my friends and family think about the way that I've
moved my business branding and all that comes in like what if
my family disowns me? What if people don't want to
date me? What if I don't make money
(08:02):
because people aren't comfortable with this?
Well, that's the risk I'm willing to take.
Like fucking small price to pay sweetheart for the amount of
people who have put themselves out there at risk of death.
But that's the thing, my body doesn't know the difference.
My fear of being seen and needing to be perfect or people
pleasing or it comes from this idea that visibility equals
(08:26):
vulnerability, which equals danger.
And that's in our bodies. That's in our bodies.
This witch wound that connects to the visibility wound is all
about what we've learned throughour DNA, about survival through
ancestral trauma and through religious, collective and
(08:47):
collective persecution, right? Like now, sure, it shows up as
like bullying, shame, rejection,but it's it's collective, It's
generational. There's so many women who don't
see that. It's not just personal.
Yeah, it goes so much beyond that there.
The witch trials are something to explore if you haven't yet
(09:10):
found them in your historical exploration.
Like we have so much historical persecution of people who were
healers, who were intuitive, whowere sexual, who were outspoken
or just different, right. The the witch hunts, religious
trials, Christian Christian, theChristian crusades.
Look at patriarchal punishment for those who held that like
(09:33):
innate wisdom, their sensuality,and their power.
I'm talking about people of any sex or gender expression.
Like if you held this like stuffthat can't be explained now that
looks like science being like Ohwell we can't.
We don't have a double blinded test to confirm that data so I'm
not sure your intuitive call is actually accurate.
(09:54):
Here's when my science meets woobitch.
Fuck that shit. Anecdotal research is valid.
Your subjective experience is valid.
Yeah. And there are so many things
that have come through my life that I can't fully explain.
So let me tell you a little bit of the story about that.
Knowing that I hold. Sure, maybe this was in my DNA.
Maybe this is a story that, through my lineage, is available
(10:20):
to have me experience when I wasdoing some deeply hypnotic
active visualization work. I had an experience a few years
ago, 2-3 years ago now, where I went back to a memory for the
first time ever in the work thatI facilitate, that I went back
(10:41):
to a memory that wasn't mine. Yeah, it wasn't Veronica's.
And I remember just being like, what the fuck?
And going, no, trust this. Like, you know, that the
unconscious mind will present things in ways that don't always
make sense. And just trusting that, right?
Even if it's a story, it's a story that in my body is
believed. So whether it's something that
happened to an ancestor or it's just in the DNA of how how I've
(11:03):
evolved or whether it's like my unconscious mind creating a
story to help me work through a belief.
I went to an experience where I had this visceral memory.
I could smell smoke, I could hear women and children
screaming. And I could see that I was like
underground and it was a visual of like a prison.
And I could see through cage, like through bars and see out.
(11:28):
And there was smoke all around me and I was holding and being
held by women that I love. And I knew I was dying.
I knew. And it was like a full surrender
to that. And it was working through this
emotion of fear and looking at like, why am I so afraid to like
be loved? Why am I so afraid to speak?
(11:49):
Why am I so afraid to create? Why am I so afraid to be who I
am? Like, I know here I'm a vibe,
but like I fear rips through me when I go to be my truest self.
And in that experience I saw, it's so much deeper than me.
Biz is learned throughout culture and history.
(12:09):
It's in our bodies, in ourselves.
There's so much of this visibility wound of this witch
wound of like, shut up. You shine too bright.
Your magic is not welcome here. We can't explain it with
science, so it's not valid. And for anyone who feels like
crazy or too weird or too intense, this is for you to hear
(12:32):
loud and clear. For anyone who feels alone or
has felt like exiled for speaking their truth, this is
for you. For anyone who stints their
creative growths for their intuitive gifts, who's become
hyper vigilant to just try to feel safe and belong, it's no
more. There's no more time to waste,
(12:53):
to tone it down. There's no more time to waste
with you toning it down, OK? It's time for you to learn to
accept you. This whisper of if I shine, if I
speak my truth, I'll be burned. This scream of you'll be judged,
you'll rejected, you'll be unsafe if you're seen, it's time
(13:13):
to push right through that, to love right through that, to
create right through that. It's this fucking cage that we
and society, the collective, have created for ourselves, for
anyone who's powerful, staying silent and small and stuck.
Fuck that noise. No more.
No more. Like truly hear me no more.
(13:37):
Here's the truth. These wounds are in your nervous
system. They're in your epigenetics.
Whether it's your lived experience as Veronica as you,
or whether it's in your DNA. It's usually both, if not
always. Your voice, your wildness, your
power, your pleasure. That's exactly what the world
needs you to unleash. Like, do you fucking get that?
(14:00):
It's time for you to remember who you are.
Yeah. Before you were told who you
were, before you were covered upin all these cultural and social
lies. It's time for you to step in.
It's time for you to get out of freeze mode and shut down.
It's time for you to stop dissociating.
It's time for you to stop hidingwith food, hiding with alcohol,
(14:22):
hiding with prescriptions, with TV, with whatever your advice
is. And I'm speaking to myself in
this. You know, I always am speaking
to myself in this. There is an iteration of this
that I'm exploring for myself too.
And here's why. I'm going to be really visible.
And my business took off last year.
(14:43):
I had this amazing access through the shared podcast that
brought me to an audience I never expected to have.
And I got really excited and I was like, fuck this, I'm going
to help as many women as I can as fast as I can.
So I left my teaching job, whichI was doing casually at the
time, and I was like, OK, this is it.
This is what I'm doing. And I got to help so many women.
(15:05):
And for me, compared to what I knew in the past since being
single outside of my marriage, Iearned more money than I ever
had. And it was so empowering to see
that the work that I was doing was having impact.
There was change that these women were getting new tools and
resources and techniques, new ways of seeing the world, new
ways of feeling. They were learning to regulate
and come home to themselves. They were learning to be in a
(15:26):
nervous system that could dysregulate and come back, you
know, that could move through this ventral vagal ladder.
I don't even know if that's the right word.
They could be, they could be andit was so exciting.
What I didn't know and still am learning is how to create a
(15:48):
sustainable business model. And it's scary.
It's scary for me to think, OK, now it's time to research how to
create a trending podcast, how to capitalize on SE OS, how to
advertise or market myself, how to build suites and programs to
help people. It's scary and it takes work,
(16:08):
but I know that this is this witch wound, this visibility
wound and then I get to keep stepping in.
And it's not like I'm not afraid.
I'm still afraid. It's just The thing is, instead
of when I'm afraid going and eating chocolate or binge
watching Friends again, I scream, I cry, I jump up and
down. I feel the irritability in my
(16:29):
body and I shake it through. I call someone I love and I'm
like, this is what I'm doing today.
Call me at the end of the day and ask me if I did it.
Like tell me I'm awesome. Rizz me up.
Tell me I'm a queen, you know, like tell me I've got this time.
I'm a change maker. Tell me I I'm doing this for me
and everyone else. Like hold me to this and then I
do the damn thing. I don't create this podcast
(16:50):
without resistance. Like a couple hours ago, I was
in bed with a sore throat going fuck, what, what, what have I
caught from, you know, people inmy life who've been sick And
then being like, well, that's interesting, Veronica, from like
a throat chakra perspective, metaphysically, like, isn't this
you needing to speak with your voice?
So even if you do have a sore throat, can you not continue
(17:11):
through and still speak? Even if you're tired, even if
you see that there's fear, even if you can feel it, can you
still speak it? And I want that for you in your
truth, whatever that is for you,for you to be seen in your
fullness, in your power, in yourpleasure, in your purpose.
(17:35):
I believe that's what we all getto do with our life, whether
that's something spiritual for you or something in the human
spirit, which is what it is for me.
My spirituality is about being the most human I can be without
needing to know what that means,without needing to know what's
beyond this consciousness and this human experience.
(17:56):
I'm here to collect experiences in, unite with other humans in
the human spirit. And it's beautiful and it's
powerful. And so maybe for you, it's not
on a podcast or a global stage. Maybe it's not writing a book or
starting a social media page or even a business.
(18:17):
Because like I said, sometimes that's easier in a sense because
you get to create a persona. But what about those silent
truths you're keeping at home? And here's where I'm going to be
seen again. I've started a new relationship
and I've been hesitant to talk about it because it's like, in
(18:41):
my last relationship, I created more certainty than I've ever
had. And at the time I needed that.
I was like, this is it, and it was a cute little illusion.
And could it have been it? I needed to believe that, right?
And so now I'm in this place of being able to just sit in the
uncertainty of knowing that was all an illusion I created and
(19:05):
helped me move forward. And sometimes there's times in
life where that certainty is what's going to get you going.
Like deluding yourself. Like I had a program for a
while. It was a mass classical delulu
in love. I had to be delusional enough to
let myself step into love, to delude myself enough to make
sense of what my attachment trauma was and why relationships
(19:25):
were scary, and choose to love anyway and let go of what if he
leaves? What if it ends?
Yeah, I had to just delude myself into taking each step.
And yet now I don't need the certainty.
So I don't need to be delusionaland I get to sit in the
uncertainty of like, this is great end.
(19:48):
We get to keep going and see, this is so beautiful.
And I'm not going to pretend there's not a possibility of it
ending. And yet I'm going to keep
stepping forward. I'm not going to pretend there's
a possibility that we won't hurteach other because that we will.
We're not going to pretend that he's perfect or that I am, or
that this is some like soul aligned thing that destiny
(20:10):
brought us together, that I manifested him in any kind of
magical way. And if you choose that belief
for you, that's great. But for me, it's the I found
someone that I can unlearn a lotwith, and I get to be seen in
that. And I have to be willing to take
on the risk that it could end and that he could hurt me and
(20:30):
that I could hurt him and choosesomething different anyway.
I don't need to delude myself out of what's possible in what I
don't desire, and I also don't need to focus on it.
I can still focus on all the possibility that I do desire and
all the potentiality. And that's where my energy and
attention can go. And in that way, sure, still
(20:53):
maybe a bit delulu. And being seen in this new
relationship, in my fullness, inthe things that rotted away my
past relationship. Whoa, what a mirror.
Like speaking to visibility, there's old expressions of
myself that I've had to completely release, that I've
(21:14):
had to call myself out on, that I've had to relearn anyway.
And that's for another episode. So sis, maybe your visibility,
maybe your truth, maybe you're being heard and seen and
powerful and bright and magic. Maybe it's at home.
(21:35):
Maybe it's with him. Maybe it's within the way you
parent together. Maybe it's within the way he
touches you and you've been pretending it's working for you
and it's not. Maybe it's in lovingly inviting
him to bring you pleasure in a new way.
Maybe it's in asking for more support.
(21:57):
Maybe it's in affirming him. Or maybe it's in sharing a fear
and sharing a desire. Maybe it's in deciding to create
something new, take a risk, movecities together, start a new
business. Like, what is it for you?
What's that niggling thing within you that you know you
(22:18):
desire, that you deserve? You know, what's that sense of
I? I want it, and I don't yet know
if I can have it? What if you spoke to that
anyway? What if you let your desires
guide you for a time? What if you let yourself be seen
there, in the small cracks in which you've been hiding your
(22:43):
truth? And what if you told him, them,
her. I want this, you need this.
I don't like this. I'm ready for this.
I'm complete with that. It's in those most vulnerable
(23:07):
places that we are truly seen and truly heard 'cause I can
preach relational work from the rooftops on this podcast, and if
I'm not doing it at home, I'm not really seen, am I?
And so even for me, the way I'm comfortable being seen is funny
(23:29):
and sexy. The hardest part of that photo
shoot that you guys are startingto see wasn't the sexy.
I learnt to do that over the last 10 years or so.
The hardest part was being in the softness, being in what
feels vulnerable for me, being gentle, being red.
(23:52):
That's by edge. And yet 10 years ago, my edge
was being seen in my strength and in my sexuality and in my
sensuality. So what's yours?
Where are you hiding your truth,hiding yourself, hiding the US
you because you're afraid to be haunted down?
(24:15):
He says. Can you please not worry about
the story there about oh, what was this happened when I was
that age? Fuck that noise.
It's in your body. It's in your DNA, and you get to
change the way it presents. You get to change the way it
shows up. You get to break that pattern
and be anyway, every damn day, bit by bit, step by step,
(24:38):
whisper by whisper, smile by smile.
Being seen in your fullness, being seen in your magic, That's
what heals the visibility wound,the witch wound.
Stop burning yourself. I love you.
(24:58):
Go be seen ya? Thank you so much for being
here. If you got value from today's
episode, it would mean the worldto me.
If you would like it, give it a five star review, share it with
a friend or share it on your socials.
And I would love to connect withyou on my socials at Veronica
Jane under score on Instagram and www.veronicajane.com where
(25:22):
you can access links to all my offers and events.
Remember, we're always unbecoming what isn't us to
become what is.
I've started a new relationship and I've been hesitant to talk
about it. I found someone that I can
unlearn a lot with and I get to be seen in that.
And I have to be willing to takeon the risk that it could end
and that he could hurt me and that I could hurt him and choose
(00:20):
something different anyway, ready to ditch the old stories
and limiting beliefs and step into your embodied knowing.
I'm Veronica Jane, you're fierce, fiery and deeply
compassionate embodiment, empowerment and relationships
coach and mentor. And this is This Isn't Me
podcast. Hi, welcome to another episode
(00:44):
of This Isn't Me podcast. I'm Veronica Jane, and I'm super
grateful that you're here to uncover what isn't you to
rediscover what is. And just here here because
you're listening to yourself, that inner whisper, maybe the
inner scream, you know, because you're listening to a woman
who's finding her voice, who's found it beyond what she ever
(01:06):
imagined is possible and yet is still finding it at new depths
in new truths. And so that's what I want to
talk to you about today, this idea that for many of us, and
specifically due to history, women and those who have been
minority in some way, this idea of the visibility wound, yeah,
(01:30):
or the witch wound. And let's chat about those and
the way they overlap. So I wonder how easy it is for
you to be seen this whole culture at the moment.
There's this trend to be like popular, famous Insta or TikTok
trending, right? And so there's one level of
(01:53):
visibility in that, sure. Like what I do here, sharing my
whole trauma story, sharing my growth, sharing my mistakes.
That's huge for me to have foundmy voice enough to be able to
speak my truth and know that it might not be all of yours and
that the world might not agree that there's people who have a
different experience and, and will hate what I'm saying.
(02:15):
And there's many who will have asimilar experience and be
completely set free by what I share and what I say.
And it can be easier sometimes to share with the whole Internet
than it can be to share with your intimate lover, your best
friend, or your family. And I'm going to share today
(02:35):
from a few different lenses, like some that you could see as
Wooey in that there's things that we can't yet explain that
can occur. And yet science gives us a good
rationale enough that we could explain it away enough to not
need anything magical. And you'll get an episode from
me soon. I had a client who's like, oh,
(02:56):
via I was listening to 20 episodes and you're so resistant
to the woo. And Ellie used to say that.
And my best friend says that andI look at it right.
And so I'll create a whole episode about why.
And today I'll share like I always do from both frames, from
the what if there's something beyond?
And then what if science can explain it all?
(03:17):
Because, yeah, sometimes it's harder to be seen by the people
you care about or love the most.And from a scientific
perspective, that makes sense. If we are ostracized or other in
community, from an animal perspective, we're unsafe.
Yeah. Like we're the weak one.
I picture like hyenas running onthe plains and the lions, you
(03:42):
know, working off the weak ones of, I mean, even the hyenas and
the lions both hunt the deer or the antelope, you know what I
mean? Let's go back with antelope then
those running in the field, the ones that are different, that
are weak, that are not protectedby their clan, by their group,
by their herd, they're the ones that get haunted off and die.
So it's in our evolutionary DNA to be afraid of being different
(04:06):
because then we're not safe, right?
And so how this shows up for so many of us, and I'm going to
speak mostly to women today because that's my experience and
a lot of you are women, is this visibility wound is the sphere
of resistance to being fully seen and battling this internal
conflict of like, what if I speak my truth?
What if I shine brightly? What if I bring my magic?
(04:26):
And what if it gets disrupted? What if it gets chastised?
What if it gets shamed? What if it gets me burnt at the
stake? Yeah.
When it comes to speaking your truth and standing in your power
or owning your pleasure, this isso common for so many.
Maybe it looks like you judging yourself or having the others
(04:47):
outside of you judge you and then you questioning their love.
This happened for somebody I care about very deeply recently
where she was sharing her experience and it really brought
up a lot for someone she cares deeply about.
And she saw in it the nuance of their subjective experience
being so different and the need for her to continue to speak
what matters to her heart and todo it potentially with a little
(05:09):
more forewarning. And ultimately to know that it's
what needs to be said, that it'sreal for her and then it it's
important for her to own that there's this visibility wound
brings up the sense of like, I'mtoo much.
And then you self censor and youshrink and it's bullshit.
Like really look out into the world to the people who have
made the most change, right? Is this idea of like women
(05:32):
throughout history who have changed the course of history
have been the ones that have been way too much.
They said fuck self censoring. I'm going to say the damn thing.
Fuck shrinking to play it safe. Like I'm going to go out there
and say what I need to say, be seen, and like stand in the
fullness of it and like change the public perspective of
(05:53):
something massive. Take a stand for something
that's been socially normalized for so long.
Who's going to insist that the treatment of someone looks
different now? Who's going to stand for
minority when their voice isn't loud enough?
And fucking yes to every single one of you, every single one of
you throughout history who goes out there and says they're a
(06:14):
hard thing. Maybe from a soul perspective,
that's what we're all here to dois to like learn and speak our
truth and iterate through it andbe here to see a broader
perspective of the human experience, to feel it and live
it as well. Because when you sit in this
fear of being seen, right, what does that lead to?
(06:35):
Well, you end up fucking procrastinating like crazy and
then you feel lazy and you don'tdo the thing you know you're
here to do or that you desire todo because you're so afraid of,
of putting it out there of what the possible repercussions could
be. I'm just observing my hair and
being seen in my greasy. It's actually, it's alright.
(06:56):
That sort of shit used to reallyget me like, Oh no, what does it
look like? What does it sound like?
Like what happens if my audio quality is not great, if my hair
is not great, if my lighting is not great?
Now I just create and I still see that thought come in right?
And that's why I say it out loudis to be like, there's still,
this shows up in its own form for me.
Even though I share with thousands of people through my
(07:18):
podcast, there's still little thoughts that come in that I
don't let win. Like Oh no, your hair's a bit
messy or looks oily in this light or Oh no, you don't have
your ring light now it's broken.Should you wait to get a new
one? Like fuck all that silly ass
bullshit internal dialogue that can hold you back.
And that's petty as fuck. Shit, right?
The heavier stuff is things likewhat is What do my ex-husband
(07:41):
think of this? And do I say things that hurt
him and offend him? Because I don't want to do that.
And yeah, it's my reality. Other things that my family are
disappointed that I say publicly.
What do my friends and family think about the way that I've
moved my business branding and all that comes in like what if
my family disowns me? What if people don't want to
date me? What if I don't make money
(08:02):
because people aren't comfortable with this?
Well, that's the risk I'm willing to take.
Like fucking small price to pay sweetheart for the amount of
people who have put themselves out there at risk of death.
But that's the thing, my body doesn't know the difference.
My fear of being seen and needing to be perfect or people
pleasing or it comes from this idea that visibility equals
(08:26):
vulnerability, which equals danger.
And that's in our bodies. That's in our bodies.
This witch wound that connects to the visibility wound is all
about what we've learned throughour DNA, about survival through
ancestral trauma and through religious, collective and
(08:47):
collective persecution, right? Like now, sure, it shows up as
like bullying, shame, rejection,but it's it's collective, It's
generational. There's so many women who don't
see that. It's not just personal.
Yeah, it goes so much beyond that there.
The witch trials are something to explore if you haven't yet
(09:10):
found them in your historical exploration.
Like we have so much historical persecution of people who were
healers, who were intuitive, whowere sexual, who were outspoken
or just different, right. The the witch hunts, religious
trials, Christian Christian, theChristian crusades.
Look at patriarchal punishment for those who held that like
(09:33):
innate wisdom, their sensuality,and their power.
I'm talking about people of any sex or gender expression.
Like if you held this like stuffthat can't be explained now that
looks like science being like Ohwell we can't.
We don't have a double blinded test to confirm that data so I'm
not sure your intuitive call is actually accurate.
(09:54):
Here's when my science meets woobitch.
Fuck that shit. Anecdotal research is valid.
Your subjective experience is valid.
Yeah. And there are so many things
that have come through my life that I can't fully explain.
So let me tell you a little bit of the story about that.
Knowing that I hold. Sure, maybe this was in my DNA.
Maybe this is a story that, through my lineage, is available
(10:20):
to have me experience when I wasdoing some deeply hypnotic
active visualization work. I had an experience a few years
ago, 2-3 years ago now, where I went back to a memory for the
first time ever in the work thatI facilitate, that I went back
(10:41):
to a memory that wasn't mine. Yeah, it wasn't Veronica's.
And I remember just being like, what the fuck?
And going, no, trust this. Like, you know, that the
unconscious mind will present things in ways that don't always
make sense. And just trusting that, right?
Even if it's a story, it's a story that in my body is
believed. So whether it's something that
happened to an ancestor or it's just in the DNA of how how I've
(11:03):
evolved or whether it's like my unconscious mind creating a
story to help me work through a belief.
I went to an experience where I had this visceral memory.
I could smell smoke, I could hear women and children
screaming. And I could see that I was like
underground and it was a visual of like a prison.
And I could see through cage, like through bars and see out.
(11:28):
And there was smoke all around me and I was holding and being
held by women that I love. And I knew I was dying.
I knew. And it was like a full surrender
to that. And it was working through this
emotion of fear and looking at like, why am I so afraid to like
be loved? Why am I so afraid to speak?
(11:49):
Why am I so afraid to create? Why am I so afraid to be who I
am? Like, I know here I'm a vibe,
but like I fear rips through me when I go to be my truest self.
And in that experience I saw, it's so much deeper than me.
Biz is learned throughout culture and history.
(12:09):
It's in our bodies, in ourselves.
There's so much of this visibility wound of this witch
wound of like, shut up. You shine too bright.
Your magic is not welcome here. We can't explain it with
science, so it's not valid. And for anyone who feels like
crazy or too weird or too intense, this is for you to hear
(12:32):
loud and clear. For anyone who feels alone or
has felt like exiled for speaking their truth, this is
for you. For anyone who stints their
creative growths for their intuitive gifts, who's become
hyper vigilant to just try to feel safe and belong, it's no
more. There's no more time to waste,
(12:53):
to tone it down. There's no more time to waste
with you toning it down, OK? It's time for you to learn to
accept you. This whisper of if I shine, if I
speak my truth, I'll be burned. This scream of you'll be judged,
you'll rejected, you'll be unsafe if you're seen, it's time
(13:13):
to push right through that, to love right through that, to
create right through that. It's this fucking cage that we
and society, the collective, have created for ourselves, for
anyone who's powerful, staying silent and small and stuck.
Fuck that noise. No more.
No more. Like truly hear me no more.
(13:37):
Here's the truth. These wounds are in your nervous
system. They're in your epigenetics.
Whether it's your lived experience as Veronica as you,
or whether it's in your DNA. It's usually both, if not
always. Your voice, your wildness, your
power, your pleasure. That's exactly what the world
needs you to unleash. Like, do you fucking get that?
(14:00):
It's time for you to remember who you are.
Yeah. Before you were told who you
were, before you were covered upin all these cultural and social
lies. It's time for you to step in.
It's time for you to get out of freeze mode and shut down.
It's time for you to stop dissociating.
It's time for you to stop hidingwith food, hiding with alcohol,
(14:22):
hiding with prescriptions, with TV, with whatever your advice
is. And I'm speaking to myself in
this. You know, I always am speaking
to myself in this. There is an iteration of this
that I'm exploring for myself too.
And here's why. I'm going to be really visible.
And my business took off last year.
(14:43):
I had this amazing access through the shared podcast that
brought me to an audience I never expected to have.
And I got really excited and I was like, fuck this, I'm going
to help as many women as I can as fast as I can.
So I left my teaching job, whichI was doing casually at the
time, and I was like, OK, this is it.
This is what I'm doing. And I got to help so many women.
(15:05):
And for me, compared to what I knew in the past since being
single outside of my marriage, Iearned more money than I ever
had. And it was so empowering to see
that the work that I was doing was having impact.
There was change that these women were getting new tools and
resources and techniques, new ways of seeing the world, new
ways of feeling. They were learning to regulate
and come home to themselves. They were learning to be in a
(15:26):
nervous system that could dysregulate and come back, you
know, that could move through this ventral vagal ladder.
I don't even know if that's the right word.
They could be, they could be andit was so exciting.
What I didn't know and still am learning is how to create a
(15:48):
sustainable business model. And it's scary.
It's scary for me to think, OK, now it's time to research how to
create a trending podcast, how to capitalize on SE OS, how to
advertise or market myself, how to build suites and programs to
help people. It's scary and it takes work,
(16:08):
but I know that this is this witch wound, this visibility
wound and then I get to keep stepping in.
And it's not like I'm not afraid.
I'm still afraid. It's just The thing is, instead
of when I'm afraid going and eating chocolate or binge
watching Friends again, I scream, I cry, I jump up and
down. I feel the irritability in my
(16:29):
body and I shake it through. I call someone I love and I'm
like, this is what I'm doing today.
Call me at the end of the day and ask me if I did it.
Like tell me I'm awesome. Rizz me up.
Tell me I'm a queen, you know, like tell me I've got this time.
I'm a change maker. Tell me I I'm doing this for me
and everyone else. Like hold me to this and then I
do the damn thing. I don't create this podcast
(16:50):
without resistance. Like a couple hours ago, I was
in bed with a sore throat going fuck, what, what, what have I
caught from, you know, people inmy life who've been sick And
then being like, well, that's interesting, Veronica, from like
a throat chakra perspective, metaphysically, like, isn't this
you needing to speak with your voice?
So even if you do have a sore throat, can you not continue
(17:11):
through and still speak? Even if you're tired, even if
you see that there's fear, even if you can feel it, can you
still speak it? And I want that for you in your
truth, whatever that is for you,for you to be seen in your
fullness, in your power, in yourpleasure, in your purpose.
(17:35):
I believe that's what we all getto do with our life, whether
that's something spiritual for you or something in the human
spirit, which is what it is for me.
My spirituality is about being the most human I can be without
needing to know what that means,without needing to know what's
beyond this consciousness and this human experience.
(17:56):
I'm here to collect experiences in, unite with other humans in
the human spirit. And it's beautiful and it's
powerful. And so maybe for you, it's not
on a podcast or a global stage. Maybe it's not writing a book or
starting a social media page or even a business.
(18:17):
Because like I said, sometimes that's easier in a sense because
you get to create a persona. But what about those silent
truths you're keeping at home? And here's where I'm going to be
seen again. I've started a new relationship
and I've been hesitant to talk about it because it's like, in
(18:41):
my last relationship, I created more certainty than I've ever
had. And at the time I needed that.
I was like, this is it, and it was a cute little illusion.
And could it have been it? I needed to believe that, right?
And so now I'm in this place of being able to just sit in the
uncertainty of knowing that was all an illusion I created and
(19:05):
helped me move forward. And sometimes there's times in
life where that certainty is what's going to get you going.
Like deluding yourself. Like I had a program for a
while. It was a mass classical delulu
in love. I had to be delusional enough to
let myself step into love, to delude myself enough to make
sense of what my attachment trauma was and why relationships
(19:25):
were scary, and choose to love anyway and let go of what if he
leaves? What if it ends?
Yeah, I had to just delude myself into taking each step.
And yet now I don't need the certainty.
So I don't need to be delusionaland I get to sit in the
uncertainty of like, this is great end.
(19:48):
We get to keep going and see, this is so beautiful.
And I'm not going to pretend there's not a possibility of it
ending. And yet I'm going to keep
stepping forward. I'm not going to pretend there's
a possibility that we won't hurteach other because that we will.
We're not going to pretend that he's perfect or that I am, or
that this is some like soul aligned thing that destiny
(20:10):
brought us together, that I manifested him in any kind of
magical way. And if you choose that belief
for you, that's great. But for me, it's the I found
someone that I can unlearn a lotwith, and I get to be seen in
that. And I have to be willing to take
on the risk that it could end and that he could hurt me and
(20:30):
that I could hurt him and choosesomething different anyway.
I don't need to delude myself out of what's possible in what I
don't desire, and I also don't need to focus on it.
I can still focus on all the possibility that I do desire and
all the potentiality. And that's where my energy and
attention can go. And in that way, sure, still
(20:53):
maybe a bit delulu. And being seen in this new
relationship, in my fullness, inthe things that rotted away my
past relationship. Whoa, what a mirror.
Like speaking to visibility, there's old expressions of
myself that I've had to completely release, that I've
(21:14):
had to call myself out on, that I've had to relearn anyway.
And that's for another episode. So sis, maybe your visibility,
maybe your truth, maybe you're being heard and seen and
powerful and bright and magic. Maybe it's at home.
(21:35):
Maybe it's with him. Maybe it's within the way you
parent together. Maybe it's within the way he
touches you and you've been pretending it's working for you
and it's not. Maybe it's in lovingly inviting
him to bring you pleasure in a new way.
Maybe it's in asking for more support.
(21:57):
Maybe it's in affirming him. Or maybe it's in sharing a fear
and sharing a desire. Maybe it's in deciding to create
something new, take a risk, movecities together, start a new
business. Like, what is it for you?
What's that niggling thing within you that you know you
(22:18):
desire, that you deserve? You know, what's that sense of
I? I want it, and I don't yet know
if I can have it? What if you spoke to that
anyway? What if you let your desires
guide you for a time? What if you let yourself be seen
there, in the small cracks in which you've been hiding your
(22:43):
truth? And what if you told him, them,
her. I want this, you need this.
I don't like this. I'm ready for this.
I'm complete with that. It's in those most vulnerable
(23:07):
places that we are truly seen and truly heard 'cause I can
preach relational work from the rooftops on this podcast, and if
I'm not doing it at home, I'm not really seen, am I?
And so even for me, the way I'm comfortable being seen is funny
(23:29):
and sexy. The hardest part of that photo
shoot that you guys are startingto see wasn't the sexy.
I learnt to do that over the last 10 years or so.
The hardest part was being in the softness, being in what
feels vulnerable for me, being gentle, being red.
(23:52):
That's by edge. And yet 10 years ago, my edge
was being seen in my strength and in my sexuality and in my
sensuality. So what's yours?
Where are you hiding your truth,hiding yourself, hiding the US
you because you're afraid to be haunted down?
(24:15):
He says. Can you please not worry about
the story there about oh, what was this happened when I was
that age? Fuck that noise.
It's in your body. It's in your DNA, and you get to
change the way it presents. You get to change the way it
shows up. You get to break that pattern
and be anyway, every damn day, bit by bit, step by step,
(24:38):
whisper by whisper, smile by smile.
Being seen in your fullness, being seen in your magic, That's
what heals the visibility wound,the witch wound.
Stop burning yourself. I love you.
(24:58):
Go be seen ya? Thank you so much for being
here. If you got value from today's
episode, it would mean the worldto me.
If you would like it, give it a five star review, share it with
a friend or share it on your socials.
And I would love to connect withyou on my socials at Veronica
Jane under score on Instagram and www.veronicajane.com where
(25:22):
you can access links to all my offers and events.
Remember, we're always unbecoming what isn't us to
become what is.
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