#104: Stepping Off The Escalator: Somatics, Self-Trust + Designing Your Real Life

You know that invisible escalator everyone seems to be on?

School → Job → Relationship → Mortgage → Kids → Burnout → Retirement (if you’re lucky).

Yeah. Let’s get off that ride!

Another client turned friend shares her journey of UNbecoming to become the truest version of herself!

This episode is for the ones who feel it in their bones—that this can’t be all there is!

That ticking boxes isn't the same as living a full, fck-yes* life. That doing what you're "supposed to" might be the very thing that's dimming your fire.

We’re talking:

• Dismantling the invisible rulebook

• Healing the inner sh*t that tells you to play it safe

• Learning to regulate your nervous system so you can actually hold the life you want

• And building a reality that’s messy, meaningful, and yours

This isn’t about rebellion for the sake of it. It’s about RECLAMATION!

“What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” ~ Thanks @kyliejpedofsky  

Check out “The Full Heart Download” on HERE on Spotify

—

Want to work together? Enquire ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠

Or check out my website: ⁠⁠www.veronicajayne.com ⁠⁠ and Instagram: ⁠⁠@veronicajayne_⁠⁠

🎥 Did you know you can also watch episodes of This Isn’t Me at ⁠⁠@veronicajayne⁠

~ In love and learning, Veronica Jayne

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Because I'm very good at just, you know, ticking off the next
box. Climb, climb, climb the little
ladder, do the degree, do the travel, get the boyfriend, get
the house, get the dog, get married, have the kids.
Oh, what's next? Ready to ditch the old stories

(00:21):
and limiting beliefs and step into your embodied knowing?
I'm Veronica Jane, your fierce, fiery.
And deeply. Compassionate embodiment,
empowerment and relationships coach and mentor.
And this is This Isn't Me podcast.
OK, Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of This Isn't Me
podcast. I am Veronica Jane, and I'm so
grateful that you're all here. And I'm super grateful that I've

(00:43):
got someone else here. And I'll let her introduce
herself and then we'll get into some really fun stuff.
So say hello, Miss Kylie. Oh, it's so nice to be here.
V So my name is Kylie Podolski. I Oh gosh, the long and the
short of it is that I have been on a very steep learning curve
the last six months with Ronnie Carr.

(01:04):
But some more details about me. I'm 37 years old.
I live in the north of Brisbane with my husband, who I've been
together with for 17 years, and my 2 wonderful boys who are aged
four and two. And I've been working with V,
navigating some very large identity shifts, including the

(01:31):
biggest one for me, the most exciting one for me,
transitioning into the coaching space and slowly finding myself
and coming home to myself withinthis new version of.
So delicious. OK, so the way that you spoke is
obvious that yes, Kylie is a client and a friend, which is
super cool. I love when I watch clients

(01:52):
become who they are. And I just feel like I'm like,
oh, I just want to spend time with them.
And what's crazy to me is I can't remember exactly how you
found me, but you were like, ah bitch, I live 7 minutes down the
road from you from where I used to live.
And I was like, stop it. Are you serious?
Like I was just like, how is this?
So many my clients are like in Tasmania or Sydney or Melbourne
and I was like, you're 7 minutesdown the road.
I was like this is even better friendship.

(02:14):
Loading I know, well, I didn't know that initially because I
just found you on the ether in Spotify on the Reclaiming Love
podcast with Ellie. So I've been following.
I had been following Ellie for some time and I had noticed this
real energetic shift in her had been following along.
I don't come pinpoint can't pinpoint the moment I decided to

(02:38):
actually click play on one of the podcasts, but whatever one
it was obviously resonated with me because I went back to
episode 1 and just like binge listened.
I just like inhaled the content and I remember like sliding into
yours and Ellie DMS when there was something that each of you

(02:59):
said that really resonated with me.
And I was like, I just remember being so genuinely stoked when
you guys would reply back going,Oh my God, they actually see me.
This is so wonderful. And, oh, maybe like what you
guys were talking about, and I know we'll get into this more,
but what you guys were talking about was filling the gaps of

(03:20):
all of the talk therapy, marriage, counselling,
everything that I had done up until that point and had got me
to that realization of just how stuck I was.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then when we got talking and, you know, I became one of
your clients, that's when I realized, oh, my God, she lives
like, across the Creek from me. This is great.

(03:41):
It was so great and it meant that you got to come to a couple
of like camp bonfires at my old place and my house warming here.
That's so special to me when I actually get to like hug a
client. I've had two clients visit from
Interstate and, and actually come be like, OK, I'm going to
be near you. How do we connect and like go
out for tea or go on an adventure?
Like we went hiking. The other one I met at the
beach. And it's so lovely to be able to

(04:01):
like show people how much I genuinely care and like actually
build a like face to face connection when possible.
Like it's there's so much that we can do online and there's
something special about getting to like squeeze you, which is
precious. Do you remember how we started
working together? I feel like this is a memory I
haven't. I feel like it's accurate for
you. I feel like we were talking
about something and I was like, what if you didn't have to do it

(04:23):
all on your own? Or like have you thought about
getting support and you were like?
Oh, I. Do you remember that and can you
share what what was your experience?
For Oh my gosh, yes. My yeah, my experience is very
similar. So I was like, so stuck in my
head and was really struggling at that point in my life.
It was only six months ago. Like there's so much has changed

(04:45):
since then. But it was about 6 months ago
and we're coming into Christmas,you know, that time where
everyone's going, oh, how was myyear?
What do I want to do next year? La, la, la.
And one of the episodes, the Reclaiming Love episodes was
about goal setting for next year.
And I was really starting to think about, OK, what do I want
to do for next year? And you asked me a very specific
question. You were like, yeah, but how are

(05:07):
you doing that? And I was like, oh, I don't
know. I remember just, like, scrolling
on my couch. And I was like, talking to you.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, I've gotto put some time, like, aside to
do that. And you're like, you don't
actually have to do that yourself, you know?
And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was like, what? Oh, yeah.
Oh, that would be actually so nice to have somebody help me,

(05:32):
help me bring out and ask the right questions to actually,
like catalyze it because, you know, I might if we had, if our
paths had not have crossed, maybe I would be a few steps
further down the road to where Iwanted to be.
But the insight to myself and the trajectory I'm on now has

(05:53):
just been absolutely priceless. I'm so glad you asked me that
question all the way back in December.
Yeah. That you said that that's the
trickiest part about what I do because it's not like with this
therapist or a counselor, it's like they people come to you and
they like necessarily always send you an e-mail or walk into
your office and just book a session.
Like part of what I do is know that sometimes people need an

(06:15):
invitation or like a nudge. And I'm, I'm like, my storefront
is social media. So sometimes when people join my
world and I just message them and like, there's this dance of
like, I want everyone to feel safe and sovereign.
And there's also like a gentle nudge times or just the right
question or a little like, come here that helps the person go
like, fuck, I just snapped out of my disassociation or my

(06:37):
stupor or my, you know, like little loop or my game that I've
been playing with myself. And that's a dance as a coach to
be like, how much do I nudge someone who hasn't asked?
And like, you had reached out and there was conversation and
you were sharing. So I was like, OK, well, it was
just interesting watching. I was like, you know, you don't
have to do that by yourself. And I remember your message back
was something like, I've never thought of it that way.

(06:57):
What what if I did get support and like, what would that look
like? I'm like, why don't we talk
about it? And then we just chatted on the
phone and you were like, yeah, yeah.
I think I'm just going to go check in with my hubby on that
one. And then I'm going to come back
and we're going to work together.
And I was like, fucking great. And like, it's been so fun to
watch because you're me in so many ways of like this version
of you who's like so high energy, has so many great clear

(07:19):
visions and goals. Like no, she's a powerhouse, but
is like ha, and like just overthinking things.
And all I really get to do is like love you, ask you the right
questions, shift you to look in various ways.
And then if you don't like it, you don't have to.
And like we just get you exploring and all of a sudden
you're like, OK, I've seen a newthing and OK, I think like this

(07:39):
now and OK, I feel that. Oh, and I see I want to do that.
And then I'm like, cool, do you what do you want to do?
Like should we do it? Are you doing it?
What do you need? It's so fun.
Yeah, it's been, it's been amazing.
Like I was really reflecting on it this morning or I reflect on
it all the time, but just the person who I was when I started

(07:59):
to the person who I am now, whatI'm doing, it's it's actually
kind of scares me sometimes. And I know this is something
we've spoken about because that notion of identity, like births
and deaths, I feel it's happening so quickly now.
And I'm so open to things that what I'm doing now could be very

(08:21):
different to what I'm doing nextweek, a month, a year from now.
So where I'm at now is like, OK,how do I get clarity on who I am
and just become that next version of me?
And I can just start that notionof just starting and just that

(08:41):
first step and the rest will sort of sort itself out.
Like I can kind of act without that level of certainty and
clarity like I used to be. OK, let's let's go through that
because I love that you were like who I was.
Let's go there. So like we, you found me on
Instagram to a podcast on Instagram.
We had a call. You're like, yeah, I'm doing
this. And then we started working in
these fortnightly calls or weekly calls.
I can't remember where we started and who were you at that

(09:04):
point? And then what were some of the
key things that you learned through this work?
And I'm going to say this work because it's not me.
It's like the work that we do together that you create the
reflections, questions, opportunities that Ioffer and
then you take them or you don't,and then you create it for
yourself. And like you're one of my like
success stories in that like youknow, everyone takes on the
task. You know, everyone is in the

(09:25):
experience and I've also seen everyone is able to feel enough
to get the impact from this work.
So I'm starting to offer a lot more stuff to get people more
out of dissociation. But you were present enough to
be like, OK, I'm in and I'll do the things and even if I'm
scared I'm going to fucking yes.So tell me about where you were
and like what are some of the key things that this work

(09:45):
brought you that and where was that taking you to now?
Yeah, sure. So just tell me.
Tell all of. Them tell everybody who's
listening so and so six months ago what was that the end of
2024 I had been back at work so after maternity leave Round 2.
So my kids were still very youngat the time and I was starting

(10:12):
to get this feeling like I was like waking up and everyone else
was asleep and it was a really odd sensation and I felt
incredibly stuck in my life and I had had great success in my
job like I was reaching a level in my work I work for the at the
moment, the Queensland public service in the area of policy

(10:33):
and legislation. And I love it because it's
environmentally focused I've always loved that part that
feeling that sense of community service, being in a team.
I was starting to reach like these new levels that I hadn't
really thought for myself. And I realized I hadn't really,
I thought about what my life would look like once I got back

(10:56):
from work. Work was my escape from my crazy
household. I had a lot of like, numbness
and dissociation at home and at work.
You know, it sort of became thislike spiralling relationship.
I don't know how to describe it,but I do.

(11:17):
You're on your. Mind being like, no, no, no,
don't take me back there like you're sure.
You're like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
And my next level up, like at work, because I'm very good at
just, you know, ticking off the next box, climb, climb, climb
the little ladder at that point,you know, by that point I had
done the yeah, do the degree, dothe travel, get the boyfriend,

(11:43):
get the house, get the dog, get married, have the kids.
Oh, what's next? Like, you know, concept of the
relationship escalator. Here's a book called that and
that's essentially what you're like.
And then you like get to this invisible top and there's and
then you're like, now what shit.Why do I feel so empty?
And I had realized that my next level up would be management,

(12:08):
and for some reason that was scaring the shit out of me.
And I'm like, well, the notion of leadership isn't scaring me.
I've always been one of those people, like pitched from that
early age going shit's called leadership potential stupid, La
La. And I've sort of willingly
stepped into those roles. But at work, I thought, I just
don't. I just think I've, I've, I felt

(12:31):
like I'd hit a ceiling and I needed to make a sideways move
out. I had no idea what that was.
So that was that existential crisis.
I also knew that I had done sometraining through work and you
know, you do these quizzes aboutwho you are and what your
working style is La La, la. That my key values and strengths

(12:51):
as a human were given to me on apage and I did not recognize
that girl, that woman on the page.
You know, things like top value being, kindness, humor,
gratitude, hope and perseverance.
They're my top five, right? And I was not embodying them at

(13:12):
all. I.
Was when you did. That very.
Have you thinking oh, this quiz is ineffective or oh, I know
this is a deeper truth I've justlost sight of who I who I?
Used to correct, yes. I was like, Oh my God, I, I, I
could see that in my core, that's who I was, but who I had
become in the environment aroundme was not supporting that.

(13:35):
And I was not embodying those values at all.
Because at, at home I was becoming a very resentful, over
stimulated person. And our relationship with my my
relationship with my husband wasat an all time low where we were

(13:55):
really struggling to communicateand we both were very tired in
the relationship, which was justcreating huge alarm bells to me
to the point where we were, we we admitted like to ourselves.
After that, we were both starting to think about how it
would work if we broke up. How would we share the boys?
How would we sell the house? How would we?

(14:17):
Sort that out. Such a common story too.
And I have this like, I heard this once and I'm like, yeah,
I'm adopting that. It's like you shouldn't be
allowed to break up or get a divorce while you have kids
under 5 because it's like it's your nervous system.
It's just like there's so many, it's changed and so much like so
many dynamics shifting and so many different things going on
that it's like I'm over exaggerating.
But like, I wish we could bring more awareness to this and

(14:40):
support people better through that time.
Because there's a lot of couplesthat I know that do break up in
that time and they come back in their future and they're like, I
wish I'd had more self regulation skills.
I wish I had self-awareness. I wish I had seen that this was
temporary and could like zoom out a bit more because there was
nothing wrong with you or I or us and we could have just
created a different. So I can I really send
compassion your way to be in that stage of life still and yet

(15:03):
have seemed to like really anchored back into like a really
beautiful place within yourself and your relationship.
Yeah, I know. I can't believe that I've
actually hit that rock bottom inthat really crazy time where
your kids are under 5 and also managed to somehow find myself
reconnect with Chris and be finding our way out of it

(15:24):
together. It's really beautiful and I'm
really glad that I'm so gratefulthat I'm here now with that
message because people like you say, I wish I knew that tools.
I wish I had this experience before forget before, you know,
I'm having the issues with Chrisbefore having kids, before

(15:46):
getting pregnant, all of that. Even as a teenager, I could have
dealt with, you know, a lot of his work.
But I do believe that it, it sort of finds you at the right
time. And I, I am now seeing that I
have the possibility to, to helppeople going through that same
thing and all, all before they get into it and use my

(16:07):
experience to help people. So that in itself is really
beautiful that I can see it likethat now because I wouldn't have
been able to. I definitely choose that picture
of like, you know, it all happens for you and through you.
And like, not to minimize anyone's experience, like some
of those things that have happened to people, including
myself, are like fucking hard. And I choose to go, OK, well,

(16:28):
how do I catalyze this, right? How do I make this into
something purposeful and great? Because life is complex and it's
heavy and it's real and it's painful and it's angering and
it's grief stricken and it's fucking beautiful.
And what if every time we go through something, it's to help
someone else go through it faster and with more love and
with in connection, like I shareso vulnerably and so like

(16:51):
explicitly for that reason for people to be like, oh fuck, I
feel seen. That's not just me.
OK, She's found her way out. And like, it's this endless
roller coaster and I can get through it again and again.
And I can maybe even do it whilelaughing and while skipping and
while hanging out with amazing people.
And like, you know, like I can actually just take this whole
ride as a ride rather than like a horror movie.

(17:15):
Absolutely. And it is that choice.
And you do have to, when you areable to switch the self
judgement into self compassion. I think that is a huge like
knife point. Yeah.
Turning point, you know. OK, so knife.
Of that, like what through this work and through our time
together, have you been like, OK, like, because I know some of
the things you were like, oh, I think we talked about this with

(17:37):
our marriage counselor and like,now I'm like embodying it or
like, now I see the function of it or I'm applying it from a
different way. So there's been some of that.
And then there's been some internal things that you're
like, huh, So like, what have you discovered through your
journey that you feel like mighthave other women be like, I
could discover that, holy shit. Or like, oh, what can I learn
from Kylie and Veronica here? Yeah, OK.

(17:57):
So, oh gosh, that'd be so much. Honestly, so many of the NLP
frameworks have helped me make sense of issues from my past
issues playing at now as well, particularly perception as
projection. That's a massive 1 for me and
and I actually had to sit with alot of shame and guilt for a

(18:22):
while of accepting that actuallythe problem was me right, That
cause and effect where you're atcause and effect in your life as
well. And that was the.
One right, especially when it comes to relationships, because
I think the work is always teaching each person to take
radical personal responsibility and own that they're a part of

(18:46):
whatever created. And so the problem isn't anyone
and yet it's everyone. And in the same way where the
problem we're also the solution.And so you get to do this, okay,
I make sense of how I perceive people and how I create
dynamics. And then it's like, okay, me and
whoever I'm in this dynamic withare both 100% responsible for
the system we create together. So that's the difference.

(19:08):
I think I like to intervene a bit there and make sure people
here like, you're not, there's nothing wrong with you.
Oh, you're not the problem. It's about how you have
perceived the world and interacted and engaged with that
you get to take responsibility for.
And then in a dynamic in any relationship, you also get to
have the other person learning that too.
So I watched some women like start self hating and sitting in

(19:30):
like the judgment and the shame too.
So like hearing, it's not that. It's like things have happened
to you and now it's your responsibility.
So we teach you to take responsibility for it of like,
what do I do with it now? Absolutely.
And that is so empowering once you choose to view it as that,
because what it did then was it got me really curious.

(19:52):
And you know me, I do like to know why, why, why, why?
And I do like to go into my headand intellectualize things.
But once I realized that. Honestly, that's also a very
incredible skill set. I think like to feel something,
to experience it and then go, oh, let's make sense of it.
I can actually then unpack it with other people to help them
through their experience. So sometimes I can get shame,
especially in some of the frameworks that you're learning.

(20:15):
And it's like you're auditory, digital, your AD, your thinking
brain. That's a fucking superpower too,
right? It's just if you get lost
thinking where you haven't been feeling that it's, I think a
problem or an obstacle or copingmechanism that's maybe less
effective. Yes.
And when you can learn that, oh,this is now starting to become
unproductive for me. This is not helpful that once

(20:36):
you learn that in yourself and once you become your own safe
person, so much of like our workwas healing my nervous system
and I didn't actually realize how much I needed that.
And then once you've got you know what works for you and how
you can make yourself feel safe,you're able.
And then once you're also empowering yourself to be the

(20:59):
solution that unlocked a lot of healing from like various, like
in a children from myself, like different ages.
We were able to really go back and change my relationship with
a lot of the heavy emotions thatI was experiencing.

(21:21):
And I found that to be a real catalyst to then going, OK, I'm
actually not my thoughts. Yeah, yeah.
And I don't have to, I I can actually hold the emotion and
not have to react to it. I can just look at it and the
more you do it, the less brutal it is because it what it did

(21:46):
feel brutal to me at the time, it felt really hard.
But when you've been pushing stuff down for however many 30
years like it, it is hard at thestart.
I remember the first time feeling some heavy things, like
looking at the way I'd been coercive, manipulative, selfish,
you know, and, and like really looking at it and be like
feeling it in my body. And it felt like I was going to

(22:06):
die. Like, because my nervous system
was like, we haven't let ourselves feel this in a long
time and yet. It was.
Fast, you know, and not always like sometimes even sitting with
it was heavy and took time and Iwas like, and I know I'm OK.
It was like you said I could feel it, but I could also in a
suit in a similar way observe itso it the potency wasn't there

(22:28):
without dissociating like being present with it and just being
like, whoa, OK, what am I makingthis mean?
Can I feel this without meaning or something wrong with me
without it meaning I'm broken without it meaning like I don't
deserve love, whatever. Can I detach the meaning and
just to feel the thing and not link all the these like stories
to it? Yes, absolutely.
And then once that sort of like that was sort of like the first

(22:50):
layer, right. Can I interest before you go to
the? Next layer, I want to hear a
little bit about what were the some of the key regulation
things that you onboarded like when you talked about?
Oh gosh, yes. I anything to do with being in
nature and feeling connected to the outdoors.
You know, getting your serotonin, getting a daily dose,

(23:11):
right? The dopamine, oxytocin,
serotonin and dolphins. Whenever I'm having a rough
time, I immediately reflect. When was the last time I went
outside for a walk? Have I had too much coffee?
High probability. When was the last time I really
exercised? And do I have I lost sense of

(23:32):
like connection, like physical touch with my boys, with my
husband, with my dog? You know, it's amazing how
quickly you can, you like your body physically has this huge
breath out, right? So that one has been amazing and
I'm actually sharing it with a client at the moment.
What else? Anything to do with nature.

(23:52):
That whole, that AD, that audio.Audio.
Yeah, that one. I'm really learning that I
respond to sound beautifully. So I went out and I, well, I
didn't went out and got myself sound balls.
I asked for it for my birthday, for my family, and I love it.

(24:15):
I it. You cannot play sound balls
without being relaxed. Well, I find.
That whole inner voice or auditory digital mechanism, that
internal dialogue, the thinking is quietened when my auditory
sense of listening is more activated.
So I love a lot of extra receptive meditation where I'm
tuning into sound, where I'm playing music, where I'm feeling

(24:36):
vibration. So it adds the, the kinesthetic
element as well. Like that's huge for me.
And samples make sense for that,right?
Because there's sound and vibration and, and feeling.
And if they're pretty, then you add that too, right?
And then it's kind of gets you into flow state where you're
doing this like rhythm to make movement.
And so then you're in your body,you're hearing something, and
then your voice is just like. It's beautiful.

(24:57):
Seriously, I get the same feeling.
So walking in nature doing the sound bowls is the same as doing
meditation and yoga for me. So I've also been making sure I
regularly practice meditation, regularly practice yoga.
That is just so grounding for me.
And I also love an everything shower.
Oh yeah, tell me. That's like where you shave your

(25:19):
legs, you wash and condition, you do the LUFA.
Yeah, is. There some and I have to be old
enough. In there too, right?
Is there some say again sorry, is there some like self pleasure
happening in there too? Or is that not the everything
shower? It's never done for me.
It's too logistical. You're.
Like no no, this is a cleanse. Videos are just, yeah, it's more

(25:41):
a spot for me, like the sensory deprivation, like it's got to be
a beautiful candle, wonderful music.
I have sensory. Saturation.
It's like all this. Well, yeah, maybe that's what it
is. It's kind of like that.
And then tuning into the ones that make me feel really lush.
That's what I do to create the best intimate self pleasure or

(26:02):
shared pleasure experience as well.
It's like sensory saturation, sound, smells, lighting.
It is so easy to be out of my head when I've got those other
elements just like bringing me into a that present moment.
Oh, that smells good. Oh, I feel that.
Oh, I see that. It's it's.
So true. Yeah, Chris and I have we one of

(26:23):
the things that the marriage counsel said to us was schedule
in a date night. It's non negotiable.
You do it at home and you make it beautiful and like actually,
yeah. So we've continued to do that
because we love that. We love taking turns cooking.
So one of us is cooking a meal. I love flow state.
Cooking gets me into a flow state.
I love it. And, you know, we might have a
glass of wine. We will put the music on.
We will light a candle. So you're right.

(26:45):
The setting is there. Yeah.
But that prudency of an everything shower, like I have
to carve out the time. I have to tell Chris, like, get
the kids downstairs because they're old enough to come into
the shower now and just, you know, Nope.
I just need half an hour, that half an hour on a Sunday or
whatever. I like to do it on the Sunday.
Because are you singing in the shower too?

(27:06):
I feel like you would be. Really.
You see, I'm just singing everywhere else.
I sing in the car. Yeah, I think to myself, yeah,
yeah. But no, in the shower I'm just
like, oh, you know, that's a bigone.
For me, I like I set up singing lessons and that's been a great
like the great vagal tone exercise, right?

(27:27):
And it a real embodiment practice to learn to like use
your diaphragm differently and like project sound.
And so all of these things that we talk about embodiment
strategies or self regulation, it's intuitive, simple things
that we did as kids that then got like unlearned out of us
because it was too noisy, interruptive movement based or
whatever. Like the gentle ways that we
sway or we tickle our own skin or hum to ourselves or lick the

(27:49):
inside of our mouth or, you know, like self massage.
It's like people like I can't dothat in public.
And it's like, can we normalize more of that shit?
Like seriously. And there's so many.
Times like and a lot of the timelike.
I had this conversation with a client yesterday.
It was and she didn't actually realize that she was doing a lot

(28:10):
of the self soothing stuff anyway.
And she's like, oh, I actually already do sing a lot to myself.
I sing in the car. I'm like, yeah, because you're
in like that wonderful flow state of just like focusing
being in the car and it's just you and your thoughts.
She's like, yeah, and I do like to sing to myself, like, yeah,
so just keep doing that. But she's doing it with
awareness now. And I think that's the key
because I do a lot of self touchin public and I just, yeah, it's

(28:36):
just what I do. I think it's what my hands are
always I'm. Generally like stroking my legs.
Y'all can't see it under this angle, but it's like just a
gentle tickle of my own. Yeah, you know, like a Mama
patting her baby's back. Yeah, look, and before having
kids, I would say physical touchreally wasn't a thing for me.
I was really like, yeah, thrown into that.

(28:57):
It was great. They're they're on you all the
time. I'm.
Like, oh, did you not know oxytocin is now your new
favorite drug? Yeah, apparently that's the
thing and it took took me a while.
They I really struggled with being forced to slow down as a
parent. Which would make sense, right?
And so, well, we'll get to it eventually, but sharing about
how you have a podcast and I know a lot of your goal is to

(29:20):
share into the birth trauma and the early motherhood experiences
and stuff. So that would make sense when
you think about some of the dysregulating and painful
experiences that you went through as a new mom like that,
that would have kind of jolted you around that, right.
But like, because the birth experience can be such an
oxytocin fueled time, but can also be a highly stressed

(29:44):
cortisol fueled time. And so might take a while for
some women to come back to that.Oh, let's create the touch, the
sensation, the slowness. The the beautiful gushy parts of
motherhood aren't necessarily available to everyone.
Yeah, well, my entire pregnancy with my eldest was I found out I

(30:04):
was pregnant with him the first week that Australia started
shutting its borders with COVID.So it was in March 2020.
And my entire pregnancy, it was just Chris and I, you know, we
could see each other, you know, when they had those rules about
how many people can visit your house, blah, blah, blah.
But even then, everyone was really conscious about sharing
space. And people see you're pregnant

(30:25):
and they're like, whoa, I won't come and touch you.
So that that there was so much distance physically all the
time. And there were no prenatal
classes. I literally learned how to
change a nappy at the hospital. I'd never seen people
breastfeed. I had no idea what that was.
Yeah. All of it was learned in the

(30:46):
hospital after having an emergency caesarean because I
was in the early stages of organfailure at 37 weeks.
Like it was like it was not thatoxytocin fueled experience at
all. That's not it.
And that's not my experience with childbirth.
It is cortisol, high cortisol, emergency situation.

(31:08):
Let. Let's get him out.
That's that's what it was to, tosave me.
And then learning all of those things.
I just remember trying to get upout of the bed and I was
watching Chris like, how do I hold a baby to bathe them?
How do I it was also mechanical.How do I breastfeed?

(31:31):
Like I needed help. I was so drugged out and I was
still under the like, so symptomatic of preeclampsia
still. Yeah, it was preeclampsia, a
certain type of preeclampsia called help syndrome, and it
affects your vision, your brain function, your heart, your

(31:52):
liver, kidneys, everything. And yeah, that was my, that was
my experience with that. So physical touch then with a
child who didn't want to be put down.
We still want lots of physical touch, which I love now, but at

(32:13):
the time I really I struggled. So much yeah.
And there's so much of that reality right when that's we're
talking about like where your nervous system then shuts down
and it becomes this like stress induced and like unraveling and
undoing a lot of that within your nervous system is so vital.
So you can come back to like, oh, I'm safe and like actually
like forcing yourself. That's why I'm such an advocate

(32:33):
for a self touch and self pleasure and like their ways to
fuel your body with serotonin and oxytocin that are going to
help counter cortisol and adrenaline.
Like there's a vital need for touch and humans need
connection. We're all so sad and depressed
because we're not allowing ourselves to use those ways of
being to come back into our nervous system from a safe
place. So I love that those things

(32:53):
supported you and I love that you're going to tell us all
before the end of the podcast about your podcast.
So people want to hear more about your birth journey and
your journey as a new mom through COVID especially would
be really, really exciting. So I'm excited to hear more
about that near the end. And I'm wondering if I can take
you back to you were talking about the layers and how you
like peel back a layer. Yeah, yeah.
So all of that work we did with the emotional change technique

(33:16):
and learning some of those basicsort of regulation tools, Yeah,
took that lid off right. And we could go a little bit
deeper to and the more that I dothe work and make myself a safe
person, the more we can get downto the core things of who I am.
But also where those shadows arein me.

(33:37):
I can look at them with love andcompassion and understand their
purpose. Which is also who you are.
And this is the part that I'm starting to spook even louder on
social media is like, you're notjust loving light, Boo.
You're darkness and shadow too. Like you're messy and I see you
and you can't love yourself if you're only only willing to sit

(33:57):
in the pretty parts. Yes, that's it.
And it takes you so far, right? You can get so far and then
you're kind of forced. Yeah.
And to create a little bit of a safety, you know, for some
people, it's like, I need positive affirmations and
mantras and to like, love myself.
And it's like, great, now you dothat enough.
It's like, now I can go deeper and look at the heavy shit.
But it's like, if you're going to be OK, you have enough of a

(34:18):
relationship with yourself not to go in and look and then be
like, I'm the worst. And there are moments of that,
like my best friend has been unraveling another layer of that
recently for herself. And I was like 00 and she's
like, I haven't even looked at that.
I forgot. Like I, I disconnected from
that. And now I'm seeing, I get to
forgive myself for some of thesethings.
And I was like, Oh, I thought you had.
And she's like, I've just forgotten.

(34:41):
Like this is the next layer for me.
And I was like, fuck, I hear that.
Like I've been going through my own version of that.
And it's so beautiful when you know that you can just keep
doing that and finding more depth of you and loving her too.
Yes, and it's that it's once I realized that it's not just for
ticking a box, like yes, I've processed my guilt and shame.
Yes, I've processed my sadness. You're like, oh, this actually

(35:04):
keeps going and I am still goingto feel these feelings.
But that's the thing, I will feel them.
OK, so when did that become clear to you?
Or this is for my own selfish benefit to help more clients
too. Like, what was it that helped
you grab that? Because what I can see from when
I first started, I don't think Igot that.
So the way that I was coaching probably wasn't making that as

(35:25):
clear. And like, maybe I'd said it and
like, you know, I talk about thegrowth journey and I give a
model for that in my coaching booklet and stuff.
But there's still an element of unconsciously, I think I was
saying in an episode that was released recently, like there
was still unconsciously, like, I'll be done and be healed and
then I can help people. Rather than like, oh, I can get
tools and techniques and get to a layer at which I can help
people too. And then another layer, there

(35:46):
was still an element of like, oh, aren't I supposed to have it
all sorted and be done to be able to help?
So like, how did you discover that?
How did I support that? What was the piece?
And how do I make sure that I give that to everyone I work
with? I think, I don't think there's
any pinpointed moment in time. I think once for me.

(36:07):
Nice if we. Could though, right?
Oh great, you're. Just looking at the.
Point in time, right? There wasn't anyone.
Yeah, there wasn't anyone experience.
But for me, it was getting to the point where I was being
honest with myself, with my wants and desires from life.

(36:29):
I had been feeling it for a longtime, but I wasn't listening.
So once I could go from just hearing it to actually listening
to it and actioning it and be able to hold like hold those
emotions and hold the fear and act despite it and not be

(36:51):
swizzle it, if that made sense. Yes, that that moment in time,
which for me was gaining a senseof why I had a certain pattern
of behavior, say around shame and guilt, why I responded to
sadness and fear in a certain way once I could kind of like

(37:15):
upheave, like it's like that, get it all out.
That did leave a bit of space. It's kind of like, you know,
cleaning your car. You get everything out.
You get everything out and then you put back the pieces that are
helpful that you want and you just kind of throw out the rest
because you don't need it anymore.
It's been holding you back. And once I did that for myself,
I could then go, OK, so which which look, then it starts off

(37:40):
this whole sequence of events V where I go what?
OK, so my relationship with myself, I can see that starting
to change, which is great. Once you start to that energetic
shift goes outside of you. Holy crap, everything thing
feels like it's like crumbling. It's a sense of Oh my gosh, why
is my work so clunky right now? Why do I feel so shit at my job?

(38:02):
I've never been shit. People think I'm good, so why do
I? Why does it feel so odd to me
now? Once my relationship with
myself, once I felt like I was coming home to myself in a
really authentic way and and actually living and being me.
That energetic shift I noticed set off a chain reaction of like

(38:27):
events or just feelings around my work relationships where, you
know, certain people sort of disappear off the radar and you
people come in, which is beautiful.
My work feels clunky. I haven't really felt shit at my
job, but at the moment it feels really off for me.

(38:49):
And that's because I, I am not identifying right with that as
my future. Well, not, not source of income,
but my, my future purpose, yeah.And what's interesting for with
you 2 is watching like I feel like you, you got that you were
going to have to feel and it wasgoing to be icky.
And there were times where you were like V and I was like, uh

(39:10):
huh, keep going, keep going, keep going.
And like is there I pre frame with clients like not for
everyone, but for some people it's like, oh, OK.
And then it's like holy. Shit.
And then it's like, OK, OK, OK, OK, this is awesome.
And then you do that over and over.
And some people do that five times in our coaching.
Some people do that once you know, some people go down and go
fuck this and go back out and like all I can do is love you

(39:32):
through that and support you with as many nervous system
things to support you to go and come out the other side and with
you. I feel like you really got it's
going to feel shit and I'm I'm willing to look at it.
I'm willing to be with it. I'm willing to feel it.
And that meant then that you were like, OK, great.
So where else can I do that? Like let me look at every area
of my life and be fucking honest.

(39:53):
Can I be a better wife? Can I be a better mother?
And better is not the right word.
But can I dive into a new expression of myself?
Do I'm like, is the environment I'm in work wise working for me?
Is my home environment working for me?
Like you started going well, OK,So if I've just been not
feeling. What I truly want now, I can do
that and look at the things thathave been blocking me from that.
Then I can do that across my whole life endlessly.

(40:14):
And so I've watched you do so much so fast.
So I'd love to hear more about that or keep going with whatever
direction you're going if you want to.
But like I want to hear about a lot of the changes you you
created as well at some point. Yeah, absolutely the Oh my God,
so many changes, Faye. Oh my gosh.
Well, probably the, the one thathas probably set me on a path

(40:37):
quicker than what I thought was doing the podcast.
So I had the idea of doing 1 andI haven't really shared, like I
don't think I've shared on the podcast.
But initially I was going to be doing it with a friend and, and
they, we were a few episodes deep and she decided it wasn't a
line to her anymore and wanted to, to pull out.

(40:57):
And you know, it was such a respectful process.
We just loved each other where we were at.
And I distinctly remember comingonto a coaching call that night
with you in a group to our groupcoaching container and just
being a bit like sad about it, Partially relieved that maybe I
didn't have to. Like I could put my time and

(41:18):
energy into other things becausethere's so many little spinning
plates, right? That we all have.
And then everyone's like, maybe this is an invitation to do it
by yourself. I'm like what?
Oh, OK. And I remember my homework from
that night was next time I'm overthinking something just to
do it. And the next day I had a day off

(41:39):
and I remember thinking, oh, what happens if I just record a
podcast? Just I'll just voice note it to
myself. I'm notorious for sending long
voice notes to my friends. I'll just, I'll just do a voice
note. I'm like, oh, maybe then I'll
just see how I can upload it to Spotify.
That's very easy. Well shit, I guess I'll just let

(41:59):
people know it's there. And now I've got like 4
episodes. I just get better and better and
more confident each time. I love it it I can see it being
a funnel for, you know, future clients.
I'm already getting such wonderful feedback from it.
I just love being able to connect to people and just be
honest in my story and have thatresonate with people.
That's the best SO. So great watching you do that of

(42:22):
like, like from thinking about something to just creating it so
quickly. And also that playful
expression. I remember something along the
lines of he kept saying like, well, what would happen if.
And that's how you guided your way and you, like, change
yourself this. Like, you built this little
bridge from where you were to where you wanted to go by going
like, well, what if I just did that?
And then it was like, OK, you know, you did this exposure
therapy for yourself. And then it was like, OK, So

(42:42):
what if I just did that? What would it be like?
And then you're like, OK, I'll just do that.
And you just edged yourself right through to having this
thing public. And then you're sharing it with
people at work and you're sharing it with women in the
group. And it's like, yeah, it actually
gets to be that easy. And listening to you too,
excited me so much because it was like, I'm not going to be
doing an intro. There's no video.
Just like, fucking this is what it is, Yay.
And I'm putting it out there. And I was like, get it, girl.

(43:03):
And then it's like two or three episodes and it's like, Yep, you
heard right, That's an intro. I've changed my mind.
Oh, well, like I maybe I was scared.
Maybe it seemed too hard, but I got it out there and now it's
not scary anymore. So I made one like you just kept
being like, and this is my experience too, is like, just do
the fucking thing. Do the fucking thing and then
add a bit more and change your mind and change.
And like, if you're worried about oh, well, what if I look

(43:24):
erratic? Put a disclosure out like I did.
I was like, this is going to be messy.
This is going to iterate. I'm going to change and change
my mind. You here for it.
Great, let's go. Yeah, that's so true.
And I did learn that from you was that you know there's no
right time to do anything and it's OK to be messy because that
is just a human experience and it actually makes you so

(43:45):
relatable and builds trust. And yes, like handle my heart.
That is me. And it's OK to change your mind,
and it's OK to put yourself out there.
What a permission piece. Like I think about businesses
that hide mistakes, right? And then there's like some big
article that comes out and they're like, dude, you know,
they fucked up the product and it's like versus the companies
that come out, they're like, hey, so we fucked this thing up

(44:08):
and we're going to fix it up andour bad and like let's keep
going. You know, like that's imagine we
all or lived like that, like, hey, you might not have even
found out about this mistake, but I'm going to put it out
there and share so we can learn and I can be better.
Like that is the trust. The trust isn't imperfection.
The trust isn't in doing it all right or getting it right every
time. It's in the owning it.
It's putting it out there and inthe repair.

(44:29):
And I love that you've created asafe space for yourself to do
that and for others to watch youdo that.
That's so cool. Yeah.
So that's one of the big changes, right?
Was actually just taking action despite my fear, despite
whatever and just doing it rightand it gives you something to
build on. It's like a stepping stone.
So that was a massive change forme.

(44:50):
We've done a bit of work around energetics like the feminine
masculine expression that reallyhelped me make changes like with
with Chris to really meet each other and really love each
other. See the in a child in both of us
and also see the highest self. That was a massive 1 being able

(45:10):
to see the highest expression ofourselves as well.
And I don't think I would have been able to do that without all
of the previous work we had donewith getting all of the icky
shit out. I needed to do that first,
right? To actually clear myself.
To receive love. Yeah, yes, 100%.

(45:34):
And like see that you actually are so worthy.
And I love to in that expressionof connecting with him.
Like I love that if my theory isif we could all ultimately walk
around as seeing the best in this person, like when you look
at your husband and go, what, what's his highest intention

(45:56):
right now? Like what is his best self, his
highest self, his truest self desiring right now?
And then what expression part inour child expression of him is
coming out right now? And like, how do I just be with
him in this that we're both our highest selves are here, our
current selves and our childhoodselves.
And like, what are the needs here right now rather than like
like an Allison Armstrong's workis some of my favorite stuff too

(46:18):
around like looking at men and going like, what if there's a
good reason for that in like in everything with men being like,
what if there's a good reason for that?
Rather than so many women walking around being like, why
the fuck? Why does he always do that?
And why am I mothering him and why am I having to parent him?
It's like there's a good reason for every little shitty thing
you do too. Like, can we not assume he's
doing his best not to enable that behavior, but to make sense

(46:39):
of it and help support each other to learn to do it
different? And so I've loved watching the
way like you've always talked with so much love about your
husband, like so much love that I was like, she respects him
like she really does. Even when you're irked.
It comes from like a, I'm irritated.
And I want to figure out why I'mirritated rather than why he's a
fuck head, you know? And so I'd love to hear about
some of the shifts that you got to make relationally too, if

(47:00):
you're happy to share. Yeah, sure, the oh so much like
being able to understand what each other needs and and
actually understanding all of these energies that masculine
feminine energy, the light and the dark is all available to us

(47:23):
and understanding how it plays out in certain dynamics.
So, you know, he and I both really love to sit in the light
expression and how that works for us.
It's a great partnership. What does that mean, though?
Maybe things just get a little bit comfortable.
We have a wonderful friendship. Maybe things that's always been
something that we have navigated.

(47:44):
It's wonderful that we have thatwhen we are both the best
expressions of ourselves, that'swhen we make wonderful big life
moves together. We support each other.
We, you know, where that can hashistorically become too
comfortable is, oh, intimacy. Oh, and then you then you have

(48:07):
two kids, throw that on top and you're like, oh, hello, we're in
a roommate phase, right? And it sort of creeps up on you
and we have to make conscious effort to change that.
And that does mean what I'm learning around energetics is,
oh, OK, where am I not allowing myself to receive love?

(48:30):
Because I know he's wanting to give it and he is such a great
giver, you know, that is his default setting.
How can I just allow myself to receive that?
And you know, with the, the added things on top like the
marriage counselor and things like that, that's helped us to
communicate better and have timecarved out so we can both meet
each other. And also, where can I allow him

(48:53):
to take control? Because, you know, I like being
in control. I feel like this is so many
women, right? And so I'm working with another
client on the moment too, just being like, right, babe, you
we're working on letting go of control in so many areas of
life. Is it OK if I invite that now
into the bedroom? Can we play with that there?
And she was like, OK, And it's like, OK, what would it look

(49:14):
like to trust in you? This is a big piece for you too.
Is this self trust and trust in him, right?
It's like, what would it look like to trust him and to let go
of control? And how empowering would that
feel for him to be able to go into the dark masculine energy
of like, that penetrative energyof like, I'm going to run this
and control this, but like from love and from safety and respect
that you already have. Like what a great playground to

(49:36):
explore each other, to play withboundaries, to play with power
and to regulate your nervous systems together.
Like This is why I'm such an advocate for teaching frameworks
like this and inviting people tosee sex and pleasure as a place
to do self development. Yeah, yeah.
Which is such a foreign concept to me, honestly.
And something I'm still like, like learning, relearning and

(49:58):
and being curious about. And yeah, I think it it's just
allowing someone to be. Well, this is something we talk
about a lot in our group container, allowing someone to
be all of them, allowing yourself to be all of you.
And that does mean playing around with ego, like letting go

(50:19):
of into control. So I look like, OK, I know I'm
safe La La, la. And how do?
You set the container, the agreement so that you can edge
control and letting go where youcan edge pleasure, where you can
edge trust, right? Like especially like you've been
together for what 17 years? You know, it's like relearning

(50:39):
stuff and doing it safely and softly.
And like I made the mistake withmy ex-husband of like jumping
into those practices way too heavy, too fast without safety
and agreements. And like, so there's caution
there and a lot of lived experience there for me around
like, OK, well, how do you do this with like, hey, I want to
let go of control, but today it might look like this and like.
OK, that's enough. OK.

(50:59):
OK, OK, that's the edge for me today.
Next time we'll go a bit more right?
And for you 2 to just laugh at it and make it a playground
together is really fun. Yeah, yeah, it's great.
And it's just something that we're still learning, I guess,
and exploring and it's great. Yeah.
I can't wait to watch more, but you're doing in that place.

(51:21):
I can see you calling in so muchexploration and well with me, so
I can't wait to see that I. Love that you said that and it
froze when you said it. Oh yeah, it's my, it's my

(51:42):
Internet that's unstable. I just got the thing.
Oh, I'm sorry. Don't stress, I can edit it.
Shit, what did I say? What did I say?
I'm. Really excited to see what's
coming essentially. Oh, I guess.
OK. And I'm so excited to see what's
coming with the work you're starting to do and leaning into
because I can see you calling inso much, like, love, adventure,

(52:10):
exploration, just that human experience that a lot of people
do tend to kind of shy away fromor just not incorporate into
their daily lives. And that's what works really
well for me. Yeah.
Imagine choosing your favorite person to go into a safe space
and make it a playground and rediscover and do personal

(52:31):
development naked like hello like.
Imagine learning boundaries, communication, trust, letting go
of control, freedom, power, likepleasure, regulation.
Imagine learning that all with your person, Like, yeah, in a
way that feels good and adds joyand laughter and like, come.
On. Come on that.
Sounds like the best therapy. Well, and a moment of honesty

(52:54):
from me. I feel really like my immediate
reaction is not not for me. All good.
Veronica could do her thing. I'm just going to be over here
doing my thing. That's cool.
But I know enough about myself now to be like, well, there's
clearly something there that is showing a mirror to myself that
there's a part of me that and did you?
Say that, but I got a really nice message for you from you
after you did push an edge in that world.

(53:16):
And I got like oh shit thank you.
Me and my husband had a beautiful connection message.
So. I know you know how effective it
can be. Absolutely, and it's from
simple. Things right, like I'm showing
the more extremes in some of thevisuals I'm sharing with social
media. It doesn't have to look like
that. I'm talking about like how what
if one night you go tonight, youcan make any requests and I want

(53:39):
to meet you in that. Or what if it's something
instead of it's like, hey, tonight, can you just tickle my
back for 10 minutes and support my nervous system?
It's all of that. What if it's them going, hey, I
have this fantasy and I realize it's because I want to feel like
you trust me fully and I want you to surrender to me.
Like, what if you got to learn like really potent relational

(54:02):
lessons through play, so. Yeah, it doesn't have to be.
Bound on a cross and a sex club.Like ideally it's not that, Oh
my God, my dog is here and he isfarting something fierce to the
point that is like a wonderful conversation for me because all
I can smell is death over here. I'm like, mate, you're trying to

(54:26):
talk about something that eatingyou are ruining it.
And that's. Like.
That's the frame I really want to show is like, this isn't,
it's not about sex, it's about life and it's about learning it
through your body. And I'm excited to share more of
that and to show people how it'sone place you can do a lot of
this incredible work. Let me take a quick pause.

(54:49):
I've just gotten 2 missed calls from daycare.
So yeah, I'm really excited to share more of those things.
Let's talk more about you for a little bit longer.
So tell me about like any other things, about what you've
created for yourself over the last six months, where you're at
now, where you see yourself going, any other key pieces that
you want to share with everyone listening?

(55:11):
For me, it's starting to step into my power as a coach,
mentor. I'm playing around with the
website at the moment. OK, what?
Rewind for everybody because they're like what?
You work for the government and water.
So what happened? Well, I guess I just came, hurt

(55:33):
myself a bit and started listening to what I really want
to do. And when I left school, I wanted
to do psychology because I wanted to help people and was
told by a distinctly member of guidance counsellor telling me
and my parents that psychology is a great degree to do if you
want to be employed for six months of the year.

(55:54):
Why? Like Fast forward 20 years and
the wait list for psychologists is like through the roof, right?
And I did listen to that advice.And I just went down a path then
for the next 20 years of what I was good at.
But what you're good at doesn't necessarily mean it's
fulfilling, right? That's the concept of like, what
do you love that you're good at,that you can make money from,

(56:16):
that the world needs, right? Yes, and I'm distinctly remember
doing that exercise with you andrealizing there was this huge
gap where I did throw me back to, oh, but I wanted to do
psychology and there's no way I want to go away and do a
psychology degree. Being a coach and doing the
training to be a coach wasn't even on my radar.
And suddenly I was like, I am loving this work.

(56:38):
Everybody needs to experience this and slowly this nasty.
Sure, there's this like coachingtraining that is important to
get in some form from some way. And like for me, I have my yoga
and meditation stuff behind it. I have my education degree.
You have all your experiences too.
The main thing is like, so I'm at a gym class the other day and
the instructor doesn't show up. And so we're all like joking

(57:00):
around and it's like a, a silks aerial yoga class.
And so I'm like, who's going to run the class if they don't
come? And then it's like no one comes,
right? And so this one chick starts
being like, I, I mean, I could, I can do, I can guide us through
a few things. And everybody was like, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Do it.
She teaches that, ends up teaching the class and it like
so compassionate, so present comes around to each person just

(57:21):
being like, do you want me to model that again?
And you could just see and feel that her lived experience was
what made her incredible in thatI was like, I've been to another
class with the teacher and I didn't have as positive of an
experience. I didn't get it as much like of
the support that I needed that was so perfect because she had
like, was obsessed with this thing.
She had done heaps of it herself.

(57:43):
She had made mistakes. She had lived through it.
And to me, that's what's specialabout coaching is like, we're
teaching from compassion, from lived experience, from all the
things that have brought us to where we are.
Like, that's what's special about you.
Like, you have all this life to share.
And now of course, you're going to go and get some specific
training so you can offer thingswith care.
And yeah, I'm just like, yeah, anyone who works with me who's

(58:05):
like, this has changed my life. Should I do this?
I'm like, do you want to? Does it make sense for you?
Like, perhaps let's figure out how you can do it your way.
Because I think ultimately we'reout there just sharing life
experience from love. Absolutely.
And that lived experience, I have learned, is the key to help

(58:26):
form what my mission will be. Right.
And all of that like the. Being you, right?
Like you, you've found out this deep layer of yourself, you just
being that people will feel thatand want to model that like, oh,
OK, it's that deep self-expression piece and this
like just Kylie being Kylie and Kylie's story and her learnings.
Like I want. I need that.

(58:48):
Yes. And I, I, I've started to chip
away at sort of telling people abit of that journey on the
podcast, like going into historywith health stuff.
Like I had so many health issuesin my 20s and into my 30s, all
clues that I was so far off my path that I just wasn't tuned

(59:08):
into my body. I was so far disconnected,
right. So that in itself is a huge
learning piece for people. My experience in parenthood,
huge learning piece relationships, huge learning
piece relationships with my family like that, that has
improved. Like how I turn up in my family

(59:30):
and in present in my family has changed a lot with the work that
we've done. That in itself is a huge piece
and like actually this is the higher purpose, higher reason
for my experience. This is how I can help people
and with that my mission. I feel at the moment this is

(59:51):
what I'm feeling into. I've got 3 hours after this in a
hairdressers like seat and I'm going to sit down and actually
start this. The content on the website about
me, my services, all of this andwhat I keep coming back to is.
The world needs people, women like.
That's my expression. I also don't want to close

(01:00:12):
myself off to just helping women, but the world needs
people slash women who are deeply connected to themselves
and who have the freedom to fully express themselves.
That is like world healing shit.And.
Owning themselves enough to stopblaming the men in their lives.

(01:00:34):
Like that's a huge one for me too.
It's like when women can feel like you spoke about receiving
his love. There are so many great men out
there. I feel like all men are great
men under wounds. And when we can let ourselves
heal enough that we don't bring out that expression and other
people like we actually let men love us like so much in our
group, we hear women talking about like men want to provide,

(01:00:54):
they want to protect, they want to show up and it's like they're
hurting because of the wounds that like it's the cyclical
thing. It's no chicken and egg.
It's like there's no like starting point.
It is the chicken and egg. It's like the more women can be
in that self express safe thing in them self, the more they're
safe relationally for men that let men show up the way women
want it. Like it's this beautiful Co
creation. And so I love that you're seeing

(01:01:16):
that it's each person being their full expression, and you
doing that serves the world. Yeah.
And realizing like so much of what I was craving throughout
that, you know, journey back to myself, if I look at it from a
20 year point of view, was craving connection.
And really, that was because I wasn't connected to myself.

(01:01:37):
But one of the key things I distinctly remember in the early
stages of parenthood, I just, I just had this overriding
sensation to get on a plane to Bali to do a health retreat.
Like, I'm like, I'm out of here.I am done.
I need, I need this. Women need this.
Everyone. I'm not the only one.
Surely other people need this. And I've realized actually, I

(01:02:02):
could be that I do the retreats,I do the women's circles.
I'd be that person. And once I realized that, oh, I
don't have to push it outside ofme.
I can actually do it. I'm like, holy shit, this is
this feels so great. And then that's when things
started to change in the podcast.
That's when people started reaching out to me going I want

(01:02:24):
to work with you or what your and putting out there is so like
relatable. Thank you so much.
And I'm like, all right, this iswhat is feeling good now and
this is what self trust feels like.
Yes, Gosh, yeah. So that's nice.
Comes from showing up, showing up for yourself and being who
you say you want to be and honoring that whisper that you

(01:02:44):
spoke about. Like you were hearing it but you
weren't actioning it and you heard it and you didn't fully
listen. And then you started listening
and you started doing. And it's building that self
trust continually by showing up the way you say you want to as
that truest expression of you. So it's been an honor to have
you on the podcast. And it's like such a fucking
treat to work with you. I felt so great that I got to
have you as a coaching client. And then now that we get to hang

(01:03:07):
out in my mentorship group that's starting shortly and that
you're in some of my group containers.
Like it's so fun to watch you not just learn for yourself, but
to share what you've learned andhelp others learn.
Like you had a really beautiful moment of that recently where
like you were sharing in the group and others were saying
thank you to you. And it's just, I'm like, this is
what I do what I do. I'm like, I want more women to
step into whatever their expression is to start doing the

(01:03:27):
work. That's align to them, whatever
that looks like, right? It's just more women empowered,
helping others, loving others and it's this Co creation and
I'm really honoured to be a partof and have you a part of for
us. Thank you.
And like Ditto to all of the above, to what you just said.
And it is my privilege to be on your podcast and to be like one

(01:03:48):
of your people. I love that we can actually just
be friends and connect on a deeper level and how this is
what life is all about. People get on board.
Fuck this like pedestal bullshitof anyone's better than anyone
else. Like it's so beautiful to just
connect and share and grow together.
And yeah, I'm so here for it. So people who are wanting to
connect and grow with you in some form, tell us about your

(01:04:08):
podcast. Tell us about where people can
find you. Tell us what you're going to be
offering in the future, short term, long term, even just what
you might offer. So you can find me on the full
heart download is the podcast that's on Spotify.
You can find me on Instagram at Kylie J Podolski and from there

(01:04:30):
you can find all of the links tothe podcast as well.
And I'm also on Facebook and soon who knows when this is
aired I might have a website up too but that will all be linked
through my social so you'll be able to find me through there.
Yay, thank you so much. Is there anything else you
wanted to share before we go? Oh gosh.

(01:04:51):
Can we leave people with a question?
Yes. Can we leave people?
With a question. We love a question here.
Oh, I love a juicy one, and one that I find always lands scarily
well with people is what would you do if you knew you couldn't
fail? See you later.
Peace out. Thanks for listening everybody.

(01:05:11):
See you later. Bye.
Thank you so much for being here.
If you got value from today's episode, it would mean the world
to me. If you would like it, give it a
five star review, share it with a friend or share it on your
social. And I would love to connect with
you on my socials at Veronica Jane under score on Instagram
and www.veronicajane.com where you can access links to all my

(01:05:35):
offers and events. Remember, we're always
unbecoming What isn't us to become what is.
This isn't me.