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March 16, 2025 15 mins

What if being “delulu” is a good thing? Because delusional is believing in something you don’t have evidence for, yet! And how can you have evidence for something that hasn’t occurred yet? 

This episode is all about how our beliefs about love are formed and how you can choose to believe what may feel a bit “delulu” if you haven’t has strong models of healthy love. 

Want more? DM me for the full workshop!

Enquire directly with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠or check out current offers on⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.veronicajayne.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

As always, I'd love to connect on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@veronicajayne_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ !⁠⁠⁠⁠

You can also watch episodes of This Isn't Me podcast on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @veronicajayne⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

~ In love and learning, Veronica Jayne x


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So what we feel and believe loveshould look like, sounds like,
feels like comes from nature andnurture.
We're back to science class, butmore fun.
Hi, I'm Veronica Jane, embodiment empowerment and
relationship coach, and this is This Isn't Me podcast.

(00:23):
I wonder if you've ever found yourself in a moment where you
look at your life and realize this isn't me and you're ready
for the next version of yourself.
That's what This Isn't Me podcast is all about, letting go
of the past and stepping into the.
Future you. Desire and deserve.
This isn't me anymore. Hi.

(00:46):
Welcome to another episode of this Isn't Me podcast.
I'm so grateful that you're heretuning in.
Curious, explorative, wondering,looking to grow.
So today I'm going to be quick with the intro.
Today I'm going to share with you a 10 minute chunk from a.
Workshop I recorded. A year and a half ago or so and
it's called How to Be Delulu in Love and it's sharing all about
the science of love. Of where our love.

(01:10):
Stories come from it's making sense of why you might be
consciously saying you want one thing and unconsciously creating
another while these patterns keep showing up in your life.
Yeah. And I'm exploring this at a new
depth for myself and sharing this with you.
So this workshop is super valuable.
I'm being a bit of a tease todayand sharing about 10 minutes of
it with you. And if you want it, you have to
slide into my dance. Yeah.

(01:30):
If you want the whole thing you got to DM me on.
Instagram Yeah at. Veronica Jayne with a YJAYNE
under score. And if you message me there, I
will send you the full workshop how to be to Lulu and love so
that you can explore this for yourself.
And if this workshop is helping you see that there's so much
more you want to learn and you want to do some deep unconscious
work again, DM me on Instagram and we can chat about setting up

(01:51):
a call to chat about working oneO 1.
So enjoy this workshop. It was really fun.
It was interactive. I had a live audience that I got
to work with and then I got to send them the recording.
So here's the teaser and if you want it, send me a message.
Enjoy the episode. Well, thank you for being here.
Thank you for coming and being explorative and curious and
playful and looking to be delulubecause that's what this is all

(02:14):
about. But I want you to be able to
make sense of how your mind and body are involved when it comes
to love and relationships and invite you into a new mindset.
So I will spend a lot of time there because that's what I
think is the most important part.
We are going to explore some tools and strategies, like I
said, to help you maintain the mindset and actually embody what
you desire and deserve. Because you can't just have

(02:35):
conceptual understanding. Knowing is through the body.
We're somatic beings. We hold knowledge through our
body. And we'll talk about that today
as you go a bit further to support you to equip yourself
with a vision for what you want in your ideal partnership,
whether that's now or in the future.
And like I said, I'm going to offer you some support.
So I'm going to show you the wayto get around some of the

(02:57):
roadblocks that you might face that by offering you
accountability and support. All right, you're here because
you've decided it's time to let yourself be a bit delusional
when it comes to love too, right?
And maybe that's what manifesting is all about, being
delusional with what you want. Let me share why I see that.

(03:18):
After all, delusional is a belief held that is not based in
reality and not modified when the person is presented with
contradictory evidence. But here's my question.
How can there be evidence for something that doesn't exist
yet? Like really let that land.

(03:40):
So I want to know with you guys here, please, please drop in the
chat so we can engage and make this interactive.
What are some things in the world, in technology, in history
or in your personal world in your life that no one would have
believed existed or that you didn't believe existed that now
exist? So my favorite is like the
phone. Imagine someone saying like, OK,
so I'm going to, there's this piece of metal you can put up to

(04:02):
your head. And then you can just talk to
someone who'll be on the other side of the world.
Like, no, that's freaking witchcraft TV, right?
We'll just record you and then we'll put it on the screen and
people all around the world can watch it, and it it'll show all
the stuff throughout history, like, what people would have
thought someone inventing that was delusional.
What about anything else from you guys or examples from your

(04:23):
own life? Planes.
Yep. Someone last time said work from
home. Like working from home options.
That that would be the norm. Who would believe?
Yeah. So you're nodding.
Who would have believed that waspossible?
And now so many of us run an empire from home.
It's incredible. Right.
So I really want you to get for yourself that that concept of it
being delusional is simply that there's no evidence for it yet.

(04:45):
And yet that's where incredible things have come.
That's what entrepreneurial and entrepreneurial life's all
about. So that's how you get to
perceive dating, love, relationships if you choose to.
So let's go into some of the mindset and the content to
really look at where all this comes from for me and why I know
what I know. Love is subjective.

(05:06):
How we each experience our personal reality occurs through
our senses, right? The way we see things, hear
things, feel things, smell things, taste things, or even
think them is different. We all think differently, don't
we? Who likes coriander?
The one who hates it, right? Like it's subjective.

(05:27):
Some of you are like, I don't know, I don't want to answer.
She can't see me, I can. Another one is like, who likes
the smell of your own farts? Oh, that's too weird.
OK, all right. Sure.
But seriously, like, there's such a sense of preference.
So where does that come from? When we look at the night sky,
some of us see endless possibilities.

(05:48):
Some of us see aliens, some of us see fear, some of us just see
darkness. Perception is subjective, right?
And it's ever changing. So based on that, each culture
and family and individual holds different perspectives, which
forms their values and their beliefs we're following.
So the different way we experience and perceive love and

(06:10):
relationships are created the same way too.
So for me, that looked like monogamy, marriage.
You marry someone from your homecommunity, they speak the same
language, they have the same religion, they go to the same
church as you do, or at least the same Bible school that you
went to. You need to have the exact, they

(06:31):
need to have the same picture ofGod as you do.
They need to probably even shop similarly than you do and have
the same value of money. So that's what it looked like
for me. What did it look like for you
guys? What did your culture or your
family or even your own experience show you that love
and relationships were supposed to look like?
I'd love for you to drop it in the chat so I can get a picture
of how it's feeling for you and make sure that this is making

(06:54):
sense so far. I can see you typing.
Thanks, guys. That's so awesome.
Once you've got a couple of things in there, I'll share them
similar to what you said. Yeah.
Yeah. What else was love?
Easy, dysfunctional and scary? Yeah.
A lot of us watch that, and that's what the picture of love

(07:17):
we held was. We'll see if more answers come
through and I'll move on. So let's look at how that occurs
and why that occurs and what that looks like more
scientifically, nature and nurture when it comes to
relationships. So what we feel and believe love
should look like, sounds like, feels like, comes from nature
and nurture. We're back to science class, but
more fun. What was experienced in

(07:40):
relationships intergenerationally is coded and
passed down through our epigenetics.
So how your body reads and expresses the DNA sequence is
what I mean by epigenetics. So in the past, we used to
believe there was DNA and genetics and it was everything
was predetermined by your DNA and what we learned as certain
conditions and circumstances activate your DNA.
So think about that, your, your grandma, your great, great

(08:04):
grandma. Do you think that they were
looking for romance and altruismand high level relationships
that helped them grow and accelerate?
No, they were trying to survive a lot of them.
Their relationships were helpingthem survive the war.
They needed safety. Someone was saying that their
parents were disappointed when they would date colored people.

(08:25):
Like, could you imagine having that picture of love that's so
sad and limiting. So our DNA might have taught us
that love was unsafe and we needed a relationship for
immigration purposes, right? Like women were taught and men
were taught to find a better life for themselves, to get away
from some really unsafe circumstances.
When you look at love embedded in what your grandparents would

(08:47):
have experienced, what were the rights for female at that time?
Did they have sovereignty or wasrelationship what they needed?
And it became duty and security.Think about even in our mom's
generations, it was extreme gender roles.
So your job was to be naked. Sorry, naked.
Maybe barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen naked would be fun.

(09:12):
And so some women still have this sense that they watched and
modeled their parents in that they didn't deserve something
more passionate, more fun, more connected, more equal in its own
way. So not only that, do we have
that in our genetics and epigenetic coding, What was
experienced in utero as an infant or as a child and

(09:34):
throughout our life is remembered in our body, in our
limbic brain. So that's all about survival.
When you were born, you look to your attachment figures to for
love, for relationship, to survive.
So looking at attachment theory,it can be great for that.
Were you anxious looking for someone took care for you and
your parents were too busy to bethere?
Or did they smother you and control everything and now

(09:55):
you're more avoidant when it comes to love or an intricate
dance of all of that? So sometimes our parents were
working and then we learned loveis unavailable.
Or maybe they were uninformed themselves and they didn't know.
And every time you cried or weresad or angry, they said go to
your room. And now we learn love isn't a
safe place to express our emotions.

(10:16):
So all of this is unconscious. It's just embedded in your
experience. Maybe your parents were
divorced, or maybe you were evenabused and neglected, and that's
what you learned relationships should feel like, and that's
what they offer you. No wonder you've been creating
patterns that haven't been working for you if that's the
case. Right?
So love is unconsciously embodied.

(10:38):
It's in our embodied brain. Another way to explore that.
I see the nervous system and ourunconscious mind.
So our embodied brain is our unconscious mind.
What we remember unconsciously through all of our survival
mechanisms of our brain come through in what is less aware
for us. And due to that, much of what we
feel and believe about love is unconscious and often different

(11:00):
to what we're consciously desiring and what we innately
deserve. So I wonder what that looked
like for you. If you want to start dropping in
the chat, that would be amazing and I'll share what that looked
like for me. When I was little, my dad left.
I was six years old, and he got into the car and was crying and

(11:21):
he looked at me and said I love you.
And then he drove away. So my embodied picture of love
is the strongest man. You're Superman, the one you
look to for all of your love andaffection as a little child to
care for you. That man's just going to leave,
so don't get too comfortable. Don't let them cuddle you and

(11:42):
hold you too close, because eventually that's going to
leave. And I can't bear to have that
heartbreak again. What it looked like for me, and
I acknowledged that all my parents did the best that they
can with the resources they weregiven, and all of this was
connected through their history.But my stepfather, when he had
big emotions, he would blow up and walk away, and then mom
would come and explain that thatwas him to loving us.

(12:03):
So the picture I had of love washot and cold and then kind of
gaslit to believe that that's OK.
And so my picture of love was that someone could just never
apologize and not acknowledge your experience at all.
It makes sense, right? Do you guys have any relatable
experiences? What did love look like for you?

(12:25):
Was love hard work? Was it safe?
For me it was chaos and adrenaline and cortisol.
So that's what I created, which makes my open relationship make
a lot more sense now, doesn't it?
Until I learned to feel regulated and safe in my body.

(12:47):
So I'd love to hear what you learned, what you think is
unconsciously embodied for you. Is it neglect?
Is it apathy? Unavailable.
I have to earn it. Yeah.
I think a lot of us can relate to that.
We need to earn it. So we then were hyper vigilant
doing all these things, trying to love them that better.
We're taking on projects insteadof partners and they don't

(13:08):
deserve that. Neither do we.
This is really great and I really value you guys sharing.
So thank you for being vulnerable and sharing.
Mine was very similar. Constantly waiting for the shoe
to drop and them to leave. Yeah.
How do you love from there? My picture of love was hot and
cold, unsafe, angry, smothering and very confusing.

(13:31):
It makes sense and it's all in our body.
It's not even in our conscious awareness a lot of the time
until it is. And that's what this is all
about. You loved it, right?
And you're curious about what else is there?
If that's the. Case then this workshop is for
you. Like I said.
Just DM me on Instagram and say delulu and love and I will send
it straight to you. We can dive further into what
this workshop. Held.
If you have other questions about hypnosis that Ioffer about

(13:54):
events that I'm doing online andin person, or about what it
would look like to work one-on-one with me, guys, my
Instagram DMS are open always. My website's out.
There's so many ways to reach meand just start asking questions.
So start getting curious about what it could look like for you
to create more of the life you desire and deserve.
And when I talk about being in love, I mean with yourself.

(14:14):
Yeah, I mean with others. I mean in friendship, I mean
with your business, I mean with your life.
Yeah. You get to be delusional in all
areas of life. So if you want to figure out how
to change your beliefs to ones that might feel a little bit
delusional right now because youdon't really have enough
evidence that it's even possibleyet, then I'm the right person
to work with, and I look forwardto hearing from you.

(14:38):
Thanks for joining me for another episode.
If you got value from what you heard today, I would love for
you to like it to give it a fivestar review, share it with a
friend or share it on your socials.
And I would love to connect withyou on my socials.
You can find me at Veronica Janeunder score on Instagram where
you can access links to all my upcoming offers and events.

(15:01):
Remember, now is always a great time to decide this isn't me.
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