May 4, 2025 • 23 mins
Let’s get one thing straight!
Overthinking isn’t intelligent—it’s emotional ignorance!
Don't believe me? Here's the science of why your feelings aren’t fluff or "girly problems" —they’re vital data that your brain and body are giving you to help you make aligned decisions, set boundaries and actually DO something! And in that, you stop spiralling!
I break down how you may have learned to intellectualise your feelings (hello, control freak?👋) and how that keeps you stuck and numb!
If you’re ready to stop performing and start FEELING your damn life—this one's for you!
So you want to work together? It's easy, enquire here
Or check out my website: www.veronicajayne.com and Instagram @veronicajayne_
Did you know you can also watch episodes of This Isn't Me podcast on YouTube? @veronicajayne
~ In love and learning, Veronica Jayne
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Wait, wait, wait. What?
Overthinking is actually a sign of under failing.
And she goes, wait, what? Stop.
Veronica, Veronica, Veronica. She unmutes herself on this
group call to go. Is that a fact?
And I'm like, yeah, like, did you not know?
And yet, of course you didn't know.
I didn't know. Hi, I'm Veronica Jane,
(00:26):
Embodiment Empowerment and Relationship Coach.
And this is This Isn't Me podcast.
I wonder if you've ever found yourself in a moment where you.
Look at your life and realize. This isn't me and you're ready
for the next version of yourself.
That's. What This Isn't Me podcast is
all about. Letting go of the past and
stepping into the future. You.
Desire and deserve. This isn't me anymore.
(00:52):
Welcome to another episode of This Isn't Me podcast.
I am Veronica Jane, and I am so grateful that you're here.
And I'm so excited to be talkingto you about the things that
matter. Yeah.
The things that impact your life, that help you grow, that
help you create more of the lifethat you deeply desire and
deserve. And that's more than just a
catch phrase for me. That's an intention.
(01:13):
That's my purpose. That's where I direct my energy.
That's why I do my business. That's why I create this
podcast. That's why I work with you and
so many people like you is because I genuinely believe that
everyone should get to live the life they deeply desire and
deserve. Not the one someone told them
they should. Not the one they found
themselves in or that they've fallen into, that they've been
(01:34):
socialized into the one they want.
And The thing is, sometimes you don't know what you want until
you do. And sometimes what you want
changes. In fact, almost all the time.
So I'm so passionate about this and I'm so excited to be here
talking about the ways that you get to do that.
And if you don't know, I work one-on-one with clients.
I run groups. I have a lot of events coming up
in the next year. And these are all ways that
(01:57):
Ioffer women, specifically women.
Most of my clients are women. Direction towards what they
want. And sometimes the way that I
like to say it is sometimes likea good parent, sometimes we hide
the vegetables. Yeah, sometimes I might invite
you into something that is what you want and end up giving you
(02:18):
what you need, and it might looka little different.
And so what's interesting is that I'm running this group
container at the moment called all of You.
And what we talked about in our second session was intro and
extra reception. Yeah, these ways of building
awareness of your internal sensory experience within your
body and then your awareness of the external world, your body in
(02:39):
space and time as well. And you might be going, OK,
well, how is that helping them love all of them?
Well, let me explore that with you today.
And that feeds beautifully into this theme because what came up
is one of the women in this session was like, wait, wait,
wait. What?
And I explained how inter and exterior reception are important
for our experience as a human and how this links to this
(03:02):
concept that overthinking is actually a sign of under
failing. And she goes, wait, what?
Stop. Veronica, Veronica, Veronica.
She unmutes herself when this group call to go.
Is that a fact? And I'm like, yeah, like, did
you not know? And yet, of course, you didn't
know. I didn't know back when I didn't
know. And now I do.
(03:23):
And it's through all this work that I've done in studying
biomedical yoga and meditation, making sense of top down
processes and bottom up processes, the ones that use our
body and why I became obsessed with the fact that talk therapy
hadn't been doing what I needed it to do for me and became a
coach that integrates somatic experiencing and the body.
(03:43):
Yeah. So let's talk about it.
Overthinking is under failing. If you're overthinking, you're
under failing. Yeah.
So let's break it down because, you know, I'm a nerd, you know,
I want the science. And you know that this helps
quiet the inner chatter, that inner voice.
If you've done some NLP training, that AD brain, it
silences that. Because when you can make sense
(04:04):
of it, it helps you feel safe and it helps you see how it
works. It helps you feel the need to
follow whatever has been recommended to you and explore
new strategies that helps you hear the reasoning so you can.
Do it, Yeah. And you can stop being the same
way. So let's explore how is
overthinking a sign of under feeling?
(04:25):
And why is feeling so God damn important?
Let's look at the science, shallwe?
OK, overthinking is the mind's way of avoiding feeling.
And in this work that I do with women in this specific
container, it's called all of you, helping women own and love
all of you. But how can you own and love all
of you if you can't feel? If you're stuck overthinking all
(04:48):
the time and not knowing what you want and unable to take
action towards what you want, how are you going to live the
life you deeply desire and deserve?
How are you going to love yourself if you don't even
goddamn know yourself? And how are you going to know
yourself if you can't feel your emotional experiences?
Because The thing is, a lot of you are walking around running
your life from the thinking brain instead of the feeling
(05:08):
brain. And I've spoken about it before,
and I'll keep speaking about it.You're a fancy monkey, babe.
You're a beautiful fancy monkey.You are an animal body.
Yeah. Whether you believe in something
beyond this human experience, like other lives or other
planets or other timelines or other experiences, soul, spirit,
(05:29):
source, whatever, I'm not sure you need to.
I'm not sure I do. I just fuck with lots of
possibilities. What we do know here in this
human, in this human reality in current Earth in 2025, is that
you have to feel because you're an animal.
Yeah. So overthinking is the mind's
(05:51):
way of avoiding feeling because what happens is a wall of
thoughts. Picture of the Great Wall of
China or whatever Trump wanted to build.
Is he doing that? Anyway I shouldn't even say that
word on here. Probably gets like different
hashtags and Geo tags and whatever attached to it is that
anyway Geo tags not what you knew what I meant right?
Anyway, SE OS words. Imagine this beautiful big wall
(06:15):
and your brain is overthinking as a way to build a wall with
these thoughts to protect you from difficult emotions.
Yeah. And So what happens at some
point in your life, a big emotional has experience has
occurred and it's felt like too much.
Your nervous system was like, Nah, fuck that.
And went into freeze mode. And what happened to I froze is
(06:37):
if you're watching, I realized like, my eyebrows are uneven and
I fill them in because they're very blonde.
But look how much bigger this one looks than this one.
How fun is that? I heard the saying that eyebrows
are sisters, not twins. So you just got to embrace them,
the imbalance, right? So this wall of thought is there
to protect you from feeling difficult emotions because when
(06:58):
you were younger, at some point in your life, you had this big
emotional experience and it was too much.
Your nervous system was like, I don't know how to deal with
that. So picture like an animal being
chased by a predator or having abig storm come through and
without knowing what to do intuitively, instinctively, it
went into a freeze response. It's nervous system was given
(07:20):
too much more than it could handle.
So this is what's happening for you.
Yeah. And So what happens is let's
look at this from the brain centers.
Yeah. So your prefrontal cortex is
this like thinking brain. It's where you do logic,
planning, analyzing. It's this very good AD brain,
thinking brain, analytical brain.
It's when you're overthinking. It's what's running the show.
(07:41):
Then you've got your limbic brain, specifically your
amygdala and other portions. That is your emotional brain.
So when you have an experience like fear, anger, sadness, your
limbic brain is involved. This is your feelings center,
sis. Yeah.
So people like, sometimes think of feelings as like, really
abstract their emotions, energy and motion, and they're a
(08:02):
physical somatic soma, meaning body, somatic experience.
It's something that exists in your body.
So when you overthink this, prefrontal cortex takes over,
goes into OverDrive and your brains like I'm a think my way
out of this. Why did he do that?
For what purpose? Let me figure out the solution.
What could I do next time? How could I prevent it?
What should I be doing now? What can I do in the next time
(08:23):
this happens? And can I undo this?
Why? Why?
Why? Why?
Why? How?
How, how, how, how even when you're given these beautiful
language tools from things like NLP, like, for what purpose
then? That's just a fancy way of your
brain looking for a reason. Yeah, and so unless you're
really tuned into your feeling, those questions aren't very
helpful. You have to be able to trust
(08:44):
what comes up, the unconscious, embodied brain response.
So we need to get you there though, sis.
Yeah, got to get you feeling. Which is why I call myself an
embodiment and empowerment coach, because your brain can't
run the show. You're a body and a brain, sis,
And so your emotional brain getsblocked when you're over
intellectualizing shit. It turns off.
(09:07):
Your limbic brain is like the back seat of the bus.
And the prefrontal cortex takes over.
Takes over and is driving it. Yeah.
And what's happening in your nervous system is you're in a
freeze response. You're in a mental loop, and if
you like NLP, you're in this 80K.
You're in a thinking feeling loop.
What should I do? Why?
What can I do next time? What did I do wrong?
Why did he do that? Why didn't he call me back?
(09:29):
What should I have done? Should I worn a sexy her dress?
Should I have talked to him likethis?
Should I have had the sexy time with him?
Should I not have had the sexy time with him?
You know what I'm talking about?All the overthinking that women
do, well, humans do. So you ruminate, you
repetitively think through things, you look for solutions.
You avoid your emotions and all of this, babe, that's just a
(09:51):
fancy form of control. Yep.
You're trying to get control. It's so cute, isn't it?
Some of my clients are like, bitch, are you talking to me?
I know you are. You know that's what I do.
And we're at the point where they get to have a laugh when
they see themselves looking for why all the time, grabbing for
control, remembering that life plays in the uncertainty.
(10:13):
So instead of doing what you need to do or feeling what you
need to feel through this, you get stuck in this like
analyzing, replaying, doubting, questioning pattern.
You guys know what I mean? Yeah, you're listening.
This is probably very relatable.Some of you might be great at
(10:34):
getting out of this. Now, some of you might have so
many strategies and techniques from listening to this, from
working in one of my groups, from working one-on-one.
And yet you're human. You're still human.
So it's great to get these reminders and new strategies all
the time. And making sense of it reminds
you to feel 'cause you're like, oh, OK, I just, I gotta do the
feeling thing. So let's go more into that.
Emotions actually can move through your body naturally.
(10:56):
We've talked about it from like the energy and motion emotion,
and it's natural. And it's this feeling fully that
allows this to move through the body.
So let's look at what's happening chemically,
animalistically in the body. Yeah.
Is that emotions are physiological they're fear let's
(11:18):
look at first emotion of fear that is your body saying danger
you're gonna need some cortisol and some adrenaline so that you
can fight or flight but if you feel that little rush and you go
and you go up into overthinking and go.
How do I make sure that she's not mad at me?
What if I call her and apologize?
And then what if I told her thatit was Cindy's fault?
(11:40):
And then I don't know what, Cindy, you know what I mean?
Like you look for ways to logic your way and analyze your way
out of the problem instead of just feeling fuck, I'm afraid
she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore.
I'm afraid I handled that role. I'm afraid of being rejected.
I'm afraid that as a social creature, I'll be outed and left
alone, abandoned, whatever it might be.
(12:00):
You don't even need to know all that.
You just need to feel the fiercest.
And I know you like the story, so you can play with that later.
But The thing is, you need to have the emotional experience
first. The meaning will come later, the
meaning you attach to it. So can you just let yourself
feel fear? Can you feel the rush of
cortisol and adrenaline and let it move you into action?
(12:21):
Because that's the thing, right?And you're, if you're in this
beautiful parasympathetic response and your body looks to
go into sympathetic activation to get you into fight or flight
and you go, fuck, now I'm just going to logic my way out of
this. Then you end up in freeze.
You're actually supposed to movethrough that cycle in a healthy
way. And so some of you are doing
like calming strategies when youactually need to get activated.
(12:44):
You actually need to let those hormones move through your body
and complete that cycle because what they do is they get your
heart rate going. So you do shit.
They get your muscles tense, stop ready to do what you got to
do, whether it's type on the computer, make the phone call,
have the conversation. Your brain and body are still
very primitive. And so they're just ready to
fight or flight and fight might look like, get your ass out of
(13:05):
bed, go to the gym. Fight might look like, have a
tough conversation. Fight might look like, clean
your house. Flight might look like, record
the podcast. She knows I'm looking at her.
So allow yourself to feel that fear.
Let the cortisol adrenaline rushthrough your body.
And if that brings you sadness, great.
There's hormones involved in that, too.
(13:26):
This is going to elevate your heart rate, contract muscles or
change your breathing. And it's perfect.
It's supposed to, Yeah. Emotions are a body based
experience, girl, and you get tocreate that mental
interpretation of it later. So you're trying to create the
mental interpretation before youfelt it.
Your body hasn't been through the cycle yet, and so the stress
(13:51):
cycle needs to be completed. Your hormones need to circulate
through you fully. They need to allow the muscles
to tense. They need the nervous system to
activate because otherwise it gets stuck in this weird in
between thing. And what we know from polyvagal
theory and other trauma researchis that actually gets stuck.
(14:12):
Yeah. So when people talk about like,
I feel stuck, I feel frozen. Your body is actually
physiologically trapping these hormones and in your fascia and
in some of your internal organs.And so that's why things like
yoga and stuff can help release and breath work can help release
these stuck responses and neurological loops, releasing
(14:32):
the stuckness in the fascia and the internal organs.
And girl, you're probably sitting there being like, well,
why is this so important? Why is this important?
Veronica? Well, not doing that, not
letting that stress cycle complete leads to tight muscles.
Like who's got that tight neck, tight shoulder thing going on?
It leads to things like lockjaw because you're trying to control
(14:54):
intense and not let your nervoussystem react.
It leads to gut issues. Oh, there you are.
Now you're interested. Oh, my girls with.
Yeah. Like, what do they call it?
Irritable bowel? Irritable bowel disease, Crohn's
disease. Like since I've been there it
leads to like the words I'm likethings like PCOS, endo and
(15:22):
chronic fatigue and chronic pain.
So your unpressed unprocessed emotions are literally killing
you. Literally they stay in your body
as a threat until you feel them,until you let the cycle
complete. If not, it just goes and traps
in and it gets ready for you to just recreate the cycle,
(15:45):
recreate the problem until you complete the cycle.
And that's what you hear about alot in trauma research.
It's like you just repeat the cycle, repeat the pattern until
you play it out. It's somatic, it's
physiological. It's in your body too.
Oh, you're mad because you can'tthink your way out of this?
Huh? It's actually so much easier
because emotions can move through you.
Fast you. Don't have to draw this whole
(16:07):
beautiful mind web on a chalkboard and figure out the
what, why and how and therefore what purpose even.
You can just feel your way through it.
So what might that look like? Rather than this blocked energy
being rerouted into your mind, into your brain, which can lead
to like mental exhaustion, burnout, you actually can just
(16:30):
feel your feelings, you know? I know, I know, I know, OK, I
know it might be scary. I know it might be scary for a
minute and that's OK. The first times you truly feel
it, it probably will scare you. And that's why things like
working with a breath work facilitator, a yoga teacher or a
coach. Oh wait, I'm all three breath
(16:50):
work. I, I've got 3.
Yoga is this element of a safe holding.
It's like when a kid has experiences as a child and
they've got a loving carer there.
Well, we're all activating our nervous system to when we were
at different points of our life like a child.
And so it's kind of nice to havemommy or daddy there.
(17:11):
And sometimes it happens relationally in these beautiful
mirrors from safe people we love.
And sometimes we don't yet have safe people we love or this is
unavailable to them right now, or we just want to experience it
with someone unbiased, disconnected, professionally
trained, because their nervous system knows how to sit secure
and how to hold it, how to stay regulated in it.
Like, do you know how many womenhave screamed and cried in front
(17:33):
of me who have raged? The stories that I've been told,
the emotions that I've seen, like girl, I've seen it all
can't scare me. I'm ready.
And so this is so important to have this experience.
Whether you are able to create that safety within yourself, to
do it on your own, that's great,or whether you want a safe
holding, this is the work. But it's necessary for you to
(17:57):
get to that true clarity and freedom that you want and that
unstuckness. Because otherwise, here's what
happened. You get triggered, you have an
emotional activation, like a sensory experience in your body.
You're like, oh I feel something.
And then your prefrontal cortex is like but check out this.
I'll just take over. I'll just think my way through
it. I'll strategize.
I'll just think, think, think. Think, think, think, think.
(18:17):
And then you get freaking exhausted cause all the energy's
stuck and you're just playing upin here, right?
And then you're stuck, disconnected, fully dissociated
from your felt sense, just thinking.
And then that emotion just keepsresurfacing and you play out the
same patterns to complete the cycle.
Carl, it's so boring, isn't it? You're bored of that now, right?
(18:41):
So the solution you gots to go from your head into.
Your body. You have to stop thinking and
allow yourself to feel. And like I've been saying in the
group container with the women I'm supporting at the moment,
there's so many ways to do that.And there's so many more
episodes coming and so many moretools and resources that I'm
(19:03):
going to be releasing for you. And for now, go and look at
what's available to you. Yeah.
Calming the mind coming into thebody.
There's simple things like breath, tuning into your senses.
What can I see, hear, feel, smell, taste.
Those mindful ishness practices,they're vital because it's not.
(19:27):
Why am I feeling this? It's just what am I feeling?
Those physical sensations tune into them, tingly, hot, tense,
tight. What's the emotion I'm feeling?
Can you name it? Nervous, scared, happy, joyful,
sad, hurt, hangry. And can you notice it without
(19:52):
judgement? It's just your body, your
nervous system, responding to stimulus, protecting you, giving
you a fight or flight response. You can do it.
You can do it. Trust me, you say this girl, you
can do it. You can do it in a loving way.
You can do it in a healthy way. You can have clean anger, you
can have beautiful sadness. Allow it to move through your
(20:13):
body, allow the nervous system response to be completed.
Allow the body to complete the emotional cycle and your mind
will naturally calm down. It's a practice and it's every
time. Yep, it's every time.
And some of you are great at pushing pause on the emotion so
you can do the damn thing. Some of you are great at
(20:35):
sneaking off to the bathroom andhaving the emotion.
Some of you need, need to and get to do it right there, right
now. Some of you get to peel back
your lives in a way that you make space for more of these
emotions. Go to safe spaces, have safe
relationships, work in workplaces where they'll get
this and they have a quiet room,a calm down room.
They get when you're like, I need to go on a tea break.
(20:57):
You know. They let people out for a smoke
go where they're just numbing their feelings because they're
in lives they hate. What would happen if you had a
mental health break for 5 minutes and just went and cried,
went and yelled, went and stomped, went and shook, went
and felt the Cordova's all adrenaline rush and did the damn
thing? I want this for you.
(21:20):
I want you to be able to stop overthinking by being able to
feel. This is my life's work and I'm
continually learning every damn day better ways to support
myself and to support me. And sis, I'm not perfect, you
know that. I'm messy and I'm human and I
forget. And sometimes things are big for
me and sometimes I go in to phrase and I know what that
(21:42):
looks like. And I observe myself without
judgment and I welcome myself back into the response that gets
me moving forward. And I want that for you too.
I want to give you an experienceof feeling every single one of
your emotions, welcoming them, loving them.
Songs. Judgement.
Yeah, without the judgement, just the witnessing and the
(22:04):
emotional expression. What am I feeling?
Where is it in my body? Like, what's the physical
sensation? What's the emotion?
How can I let it move? From there, you'll often figure
out what it came from. You might get a little picture
or a story or a thought. Or you might just feel fucking
better and do the thing you wantto do.
Take action towards what you want.
(22:26):
So this is what I do and I'm going to keep inviting you
because it's important. Whether it's in a group, whether
it's coming to one of my events,or whether it's stepping in
one-on-one. It's time for you to stop
overthinking and start feeling. Thanks for joining me.
For another episode, if you got value from what you heard today,
(22:50):
I would love for you to like it to give.
It a five star review. Share it with a friend or.
Share it on your. Socials and I would love to
connect with you on my. Socials.
You can find me at Veronica Janeunder score on Instagram where
you can access links to all my upcoming offers and events.
Remember, now is always a great time.
To decide. This isn't me.
Wait, wait, wait. What?
Overthinking is actually a sign of under failing.
And she goes, wait, what? Stop.
Veronica, Veronica, Veronica. She unmutes herself on this
group call to go. Is that a fact?
And I'm like, yeah, like, did you not know?
And yet, of course you didn't know.
I didn't know. Hi, I'm Veronica Jane,
(00:26):
Embodiment Empowerment and Relationship Coach.
And this is This Isn't Me podcast.
I wonder if you've ever found yourself in a moment where you.
Look at your life and realize. This isn't me and you're ready
for the next version of yourself.
That's. What This Isn't Me podcast is
all about. Letting go of the past and
stepping into the future. You.
Desire and deserve. This isn't me anymore.
(00:52):
Welcome to another episode of This Isn't Me podcast.
I am Veronica Jane, and I am so grateful that you're here.
And I'm so excited to be talkingto you about the things that
matter. Yeah.
The things that impact your life, that help you grow, that
help you create more of the lifethat you deeply desire and
deserve. And that's more than just a
catch phrase for me. That's an intention.
(01:13):
That's my purpose. That's where I direct my energy.
That's why I do my business. That's why I create this
podcast. That's why I work with you and
so many people like you is because I genuinely believe that
everyone should get to live the life they deeply desire and
deserve. Not the one someone told them
they should. Not the one they found
themselves in or that they've fallen into, that they've been
(01:34):
socialized into the one they want.
And The thing is, sometimes you don't know what you want until
you do. And sometimes what you want
changes. In fact, almost all the time.
So I'm so passionate about this and I'm so excited to be here
talking about the ways that you get to do that.
And if you don't know, I work one-on-one with clients.
I run groups. I have a lot of events coming up
in the next year. And these are all ways that
(01:57):
Ioffer women, specifically women.
Most of my clients are women. Direction towards what they
want. And sometimes the way that I
like to say it is sometimes likea good parent, sometimes we hide
the vegetables. Yeah, sometimes I might invite
you into something that is what you want and end up giving you
(02:18):
what you need, and it might looka little different.
And so what's interesting is that I'm running this group
container at the moment called all of You.
And what we talked about in our second session was intro and
extra reception. Yeah, these ways of building
awareness of your internal sensory experience within your
body and then your awareness of the external world, your body in
(02:39):
space and time as well. And you might be going, OK,
well, how is that helping them love all of them?
Well, let me explore that with you today.
And that feeds beautifully into this theme because what came up
is one of the women in this session was like, wait, wait,
wait. What?
And I explained how inter and exterior reception are important
for our experience as a human and how this links to this
(03:02):
concept that overthinking is actually a sign of under
failing. And she goes, wait, what?
Stop. Veronica, Veronica, Veronica.
She unmutes herself when this group call to go.
Is that a fact? And I'm like, yeah, like, did
you not know? And yet, of course, you didn't
know. I didn't know back when I didn't
know. And now I do.
(03:23):
And it's through all this work that I've done in studying
biomedical yoga and meditation, making sense of top down
processes and bottom up processes, the ones that use our
body and why I became obsessed with the fact that talk therapy
hadn't been doing what I needed it to do for me and became a
coach that integrates somatic experiencing and the body.
(03:43):
Yeah. So let's talk about it.
Overthinking is under failing. If you're overthinking, you're
under failing. Yeah.
So let's break it down because, you know, I'm a nerd, you know,
I want the science. And you know that this helps
quiet the inner chatter, that inner voice.
If you've done some NLP training, that AD brain, it
silences that. Because when you can make sense
(04:04):
of it, it helps you feel safe and it helps you see how it
works. It helps you feel the need to
follow whatever has been recommended to you and explore
new strategies that helps you hear the reasoning so you can.
Do it, Yeah. And you can stop being the same
way. So let's explore how is
overthinking a sign of under feeling?
(04:25):
And why is feeling so God damn important?
Let's look at the science, shallwe?
OK, overthinking is the mind's way of avoiding feeling.
And in this work that I do with women in this specific
container, it's called all of you, helping women own and love
all of you. But how can you own and love all
of you if you can't feel? If you're stuck overthinking all
(04:48):
the time and not knowing what you want and unable to take
action towards what you want, how are you going to live the
life you deeply desire and deserve?
How are you going to love yourself if you don't even
goddamn know yourself? And how are you going to know
yourself if you can't feel your emotional experiences?
Because The thing is, a lot of you are walking around running
your life from the thinking brain instead of the feeling
(05:08):
brain. And I've spoken about it before,
and I'll keep speaking about it.You're a fancy monkey, babe.
You're a beautiful fancy monkey.You are an animal body.
Yeah. Whether you believe in something
beyond this human experience, like other lives or other
planets or other timelines or other experiences, soul, spirit,
(05:29):
source, whatever, I'm not sure you need to.
I'm not sure I do. I just fuck with lots of
possibilities. What we do know here in this
human, in this human reality in current Earth in 2025, is that
you have to feel because you're an animal.
Yeah. So overthinking is the mind's
(05:51):
way of avoiding feeling because what happens is a wall of
thoughts. Picture of the Great Wall of
China or whatever Trump wanted to build.
Is he doing that? Anyway I shouldn't even say that
word on here. Probably gets like different
hashtags and Geo tags and whatever attached to it is that
anyway Geo tags not what you knew what I meant right?
Anyway, SE OS words. Imagine this beautiful big wall
(06:15):
and your brain is overthinking as a way to build a wall with
these thoughts to protect you from difficult emotions.
Yeah. And So what happens at some
point in your life, a big emotional has experience has
occurred and it's felt like too much.
Your nervous system was like, Nah, fuck that.
And went into freeze mode. And what happened to I froze is
(06:37):
if you're watching, I realized like, my eyebrows are uneven and
I fill them in because they're very blonde.
But look how much bigger this one looks than this one.
How fun is that? I heard the saying that eyebrows
are sisters, not twins. So you just got to embrace them,
the imbalance, right? So this wall of thought is there
to protect you from feeling difficult emotions because when
(06:58):
you were younger, at some point in your life, you had this big
emotional experience and it was too much.
Your nervous system was like, I don't know how to deal with
that. So picture like an animal being
chased by a predator or having abig storm come through and
without knowing what to do intuitively, instinctively, it
went into a freeze response. It's nervous system was given
(07:20):
too much more than it could handle.
So this is what's happening for you.
Yeah. And So what happens is let's
look at this from the brain centers.
Yeah. So your prefrontal cortex is
this like thinking brain. It's where you do logic,
planning, analyzing. It's this very good AD brain,
thinking brain, analytical brain.
It's when you're overthinking. It's what's running the show.
(07:41):
Then you've got your limbic brain, specifically your
amygdala and other portions. That is your emotional brain.
So when you have an experience like fear, anger, sadness, your
limbic brain is involved. This is your feelings center,
sis. Yeah.
So people like, sometimes think of feelings as like, really
abstract their emotions, energy and motion, and they're a
(08:02):
physical somatic soma, meaning body, somatic experience.
It's something that exists in your body.
So when you overthink this, prefrontal cortex takes over,
goes into OverDrive and your brains like I'm a think my way
out of this. Why did he do that?
For what purpose? Let me figure out the solution.
What could I do next time? How could I prevent it?
What should I be doing now? What can I do in the next time
(08:23):
this happens? And can I undo this?
Why? Why?
Why? Why?
Why? How?
How, how, how, how even when you're given these beautiful
language tools from things like NLP, like, for what purpose
then? That's just a fancy way of your
brain looking for a reason. Yeah, and so unless you're
really tuned into your feeling, those questions aren't very
helpful. You have to be able to trust
(08:44):
what comes up, the unconscious, embodied brain response.
So we need to get you there though, sis.
Yeah, got to get you feeling. Which is why I call myself an
embodiment and empowerment coach, because your brain can't
run the show. You're a body and a brain, sis,
And so your emotional brain getsblocked when you're over
intellectualizing shit. It turns off.
(09:07):
Your limbic brain is like the back seat of the bus.
And the prefrontal cortex takes over.
Takes over and is driving it. Yeah.
And what's happening in your nervous system is you're in a
freeze response. You're in a mental loop, and if
you like NLP, you're in this 80K.
You're in a thinking feeling loop.
What should I do? Why?
What can I do next time? What did I do wrong?
Why did he do that? Why didn't he call me back?
(09:29):
What should I have done? Should I worn a sexy her dress?
Should I have talked to him likethis?
Should I have had the sexy time with him?
Should I not have had the sexy time with him?
You know what I'm talking about?All the overthinking that women
do, well, humans do. So you ruminate, you
repetitively think through things, you look for solutions.
You avoid your emotions and all of this, babe, that's just a
(09:51):
fancy form of control. Yep.
You're trying to get control. It's so cute, isn't it?
Some of my clients are like, bitch, are you talking to me?
I know you are. You know that's what I do.
And we're at the point where they get to have a laugh when
they see themselves looking for why all the time, grabbing for
control, remembering that life plays in the uncertainty.
(10:13):
So instead of doing what you need to do or feeling what you
need to feel through this, you get stuck in this like
analyzing, replaying, doubting, questioning pattern.
You guys know what I mean? Yeah, you're listening.
This is probably very relatable.Some of you might be great at
(10:34):
getting out of this. Now, some of you might have so
many strategies and techniques from listening to this, from
working in one of my groups, from working one-on-one.
And yet you're human. You're still human.
So it's great to get these reminders and new strategies all
the time. And making sense of it reminds
you to feel 'cause you're like, oh, OK, I just, I gotta do the
feeling thing. So let's go more into that.
Emotions actually can move through your body naturally.
(10:56):
We've talked about it from like the energy and motion emotion,
and it's natural. And it's this feeling fully that
allows this to move through the body.
So let's look at what's happening chemically,
animalistically in the body. Yeah.
Is that emotions are physiological they're fear let's
(11:18):
look at first emotion of fear that is your body saying danger
you're gonna need some cortisol and some adrenaline so that you
can fight or flight but if you feel that little rush and you go
and you go up into overthinking and go.
How do I make sure that she's not mad at me?
What if I call her and apologize?
And then what if I told her thatit was Cindy's fault?
(11:40):
And then I don't know what, Cindy, you know what I mean?
Like you look for ways to logic your way and analyze your way
out of the problem instead of just feeling fuck, I'm afraid
she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore.
I'm afraid I handled that role. I'm afraid of being rejected.
I'm afraid that as a social creature, I'll be outed and left
alone, abandoned, whatever it might be.
(12:00):
You don't even need to know all that.
You just need to feel the fiercest.
And I know you like the story, so you can play with that later.
But The thing is, you need to have the emotional experience
first. The meaning will come later, the
meaning you attach to it. So can you just let yourself
feel fear? Can you feel the rush of
cortisol and adrenaline and let it move you into action?
(12:21):
Because that's the thing, right?And you're, if you're in this
beautiful parasympathetic response and your body looks to
go into sympathetic activation to get you into fight or flight
and you go, fuck, now I'm just going to logic my way out of
this. Then you end up in freeze.
You're actually supposed to movethrough that cycle in a healthy
way. And so some of you are doing
like calming strategies when youactually need to get activated.
(12:44):
You actually need to let those hormones move through your body
and complete that cycle because what they do is they get your
heart rate going. So you do shit.
They get your muscles tense, stop ready to do what you got to
do, whether it's type on the computer, make the phone call,
have the conversation. Your brain and body are still
very primitive. And so they're just ready to
fight or flight and fight might look like, get your ass out of
(13:05):
bed, go to the gym. Fight might look like, have a
tough conversation. Fight might look like, clean
your house. Flight might look like, record
the podcast. She knows I'm looking at her.
So allow yourself to feel that fear.
Let the cortisol adrenaline rushthrough your body.
And if that brings you sadness, great.
There's hormones involved in that, too.
(13:26):
This is going to elevate your heart rate, contract muscles or
change your breathing. And it's perfect.
It's supposed to, Yeah. Emotions are a body based
experience, girl, and you get tocreate that mental
interpretation of it later. So you're trying to create the
mental interpretation before youfelt it.
Your body hasn't been through the cycle yet, and so the stress
(13:51):
cycle needs to be completed. Your hormones need to circulate
through you fully. They need to allow the muscles
to tense. They need the nervous system to
activate because otherwise it gets stuck in this weird in
between thing. And what we know from polyvagal
theory and other trauma researchis that actually gets stuck.
(14:12):
Yeah. So when people talk about like,
I feel stuck, I feel frozen. Your body is actually
physiologically trapping these hormones and in your fascia and
in some of your internal organs.And so that's why things like
yoga and stuff can help release and breath work can help release
these stuck responses and neurological loops, releasing
(14:32):
the stuckness in the fascia and the internal organs.
And girl, you're probably sitting there being like, well,
why is this so important? Why is this important?
Veronica? Well, not doing that, not
letting that stress cycle complete leads to tight muscles.
Like who's got that tight neck, tight shoulder thing going on?
It leads to things like lockjaw because you're trying to control
(14:54):
intense and not let your nervoussystem react.
It leads to gut issues. Oh, there you are.
Now you're interested. Oh, my girls with.
Yeah. Like, what do they call it?
Irritable bowel? Irritable bowel disease, Crohn's
disease. Like since I've been there it
leads to like the words I'm likethings like PCOS, endo and
(15:22):
chronic fatigue and chronic pain.
So your unpressed unprocessed emotions are literally killing
you. Literally they stay in your body
as a threat until you feel them,until you let the cycle
complete. If not, it just goes and traps
in and it gets ready for you to just recreate the cycle,
(15:45):
recreate the problem until you complete the cycle.
And that's what you hear about alot in trauma research.
It's like you just repeat the cycle, repeat the pattern until
you play it out. It's somatic, it's
physiological. It's in your body too.
Oh, you're mad because you can'tthink your way out of this?
Huh? It's actually so much easier
because emotions can move through you.
Fast you. Don't have to draw this whole
(16:07):
beautiful mind web on a chalkboard and figure out the
what, why and how and therefore what purpose even.
You can just feel your way through it.
So what might that look like? Rather than this blocked energy
being rerouted into your mind, into your brain, which can lead
to like mental exhaustion, burnout, you actually can just
(16:30):
feel your feelings, you know? I know, I know, I know, OK, I
know it might be scary. I know it might be scary for a
minute and that's OK. The first times you truly feel
it, it probably will scare you. And that's why things like
working with a breath work facilitator, a yoga teacher or a
coach. Oh wait, I'm all three breath
(16:50):
work. I, I've got 3.
Yoga is this element of a safe holding.
It's like when a kid has experiences as a child and
they've got a loving carer there.
Well, we're all activating our nervous system to when we were
at different points of our life like a child.
And so it's kind of nice to havemommy or daddy there.
(17:11):
And sometimes it happens relationally in these beautiful
mirrors from safe people we love.
And sometimes we don't yet have safe people we love or this is
unavailable to them right now, or we just want to experience it
with someone unbiased, disconnected, professionally
trained, because their nervous system knows how to sit secure
and how to hold it, how to stay regulated in it.
Like, do you know how many womenhave screamed and cried in front
(17:33):
of me who have raged? The stories that I've been told,
the emotions that I've seen, like girl, I've seen it all
can't scare me. I'm ready.
And so this is so important to have this experience.
Whether you are able to create that safety within yourself, to
do it on your own, that's great,or whether you want a safe
holding, this is the work. But it's necessary for you to
(17:57):
get to that true clarity and freedom that you want and that
unstuckness. Because otherwise, here's what
happened. You get triggered, you have an
emotional activation, like a sensory experience in your body.
You're like, oh I feel something.
And then your prefrontal cortex is like but check out this.
I'll just take over. I'll just think my way through
it. I'll strategize.
I'll just think, think, think. Think, think, think, think.
(18:17):
And then you get freaking exhausted cause all the energy's
stuck and you're just playing upin here, right?
And then you're stuck, disconnected, fully dissociated
from your felt sense, just thinking.
And then that emotion just keepsresurfacing and you play out the
same patterns to complete the cycle.
Carl, it's so boring, isn't it? You're bored of that now, right?
(18:41):
So the solution you gots to go from your head into.
Your body. You have to stop thinking and
allow yourself to feel. And like I've been saying in the
group container with the women I'm supporting at the moment,
there's so many ways to do that.And there's so many more
episodes coming and so many moretools and resources that I'm
(19:03):
going to be releasing for you. And for now, go and look at
what's available to you. Yeah.
Calming the mind coming into thebody.
There's simple things like breath, tuning into your senses.
What can I see, hear, feel, smell, taste.
Those mindful ishness practices,they're vital because it's not.
(19:27):
Why am I feeling this? It's just what am I feeling?
Those physical sensations tune into them, tingly, hot, tense,
tight. What's the emotion I'm feeling?
Can you name it? Nervous, scared, happy, joyful,
sad, hurt, hangry. And can you notice it without
(19:52):
judgement? It's just your body, your
nervous system, responding to stimulus, protecting you, giving
you a fight or flight response. You can do it.
You can do it. Trust me, you say this girl, you
can do it. You can do it in a loving way.
You can do it in a healthy way. You can have clean anger, you
can have beautiful sadness. Allow it to move through your
(20:13):
body, allow the nervous system response to be completed.
Allow the body to complete the emotional cycle and your mind
will naturally calm down. It's a practice and it's every
time. Yep, it's every time.
And some of you are great at pushing pause on the emotion so
you can do the damn thing. Some of you are great at
(20:35):
sneaking off to the bathroom andhaving the emotion.
Some of you need, need to and get to do it right there, right
now. Some of you get to peel back
your lives in a way that you make space for more of these
emotions. Go to safe spaces, have safe
relationships, work in workplaces where they'll get
this and they have a quiet room,a calm down room.
They get when you're like, I need to go on a tea break.
(20:57):
You know. They let people out for a smoke
go where they're just numbing their feelings because they're
in lives they hate. What would happen if you had a
mental health break for 5 minutes and just went and cried,
went and yelled, went and stomped, went and shook, went
and felt the Cordova's all adrenaline rush and did the damn
thing? I want this for you.
(21:20):
I want you to be able to stop overthinking by being able to
feel. This is my life's work and I'm
continually learning every damn day better ways to support
myself and to support me. And sis, I'm not perfect, you
know that. I'm messy and I'm human and I
forget. And sometimes things are big for
me and sometimes I go in to phrase and I know what that
(21:42):
looks like. And I observe myself without
judgment and I welcome myself back into the response that gets
me moving forward. And I want that for you too.
I want to give you an experienceof feeling every single one of
your emotions, welcoming them, loving them.
Songs. Judgement.
Yeah, without the judgement, just the witnessing and the
(22:04):
emotional expression. What am I feeling?
Where is it in my body? Like, what's the physical
sensation? What's the emotion?
How can I let it move? From there, you'll often figure
out what it came from. You might get a little picture
or a story or a thought. Or you might just feel fucking
better and do the thing you wantto do.
Take action towards what you want.
(22:26):
So this is what I do and I'm going to keep inviting you
because it's important. Whether it's in a group, whether
it's coming to one of my events,or whether it's stepping in
one-on-one. It's time for you to stop
overthinking and start feeling. Thanks for joining me.
For another episode, if you got value from what you heard today,
(22:50):
I would love for you to like it to give.
It a five star review. Share it with a friend or.
Share it on your. Socials and I would love to
connect with you on my. Socials.
You can find me at Veronica Janeunder score on Instagram where
you can access links to all my upcoming offers and events.
Remember, now is always a great time.
To decide. This isn't me.
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