February 2, 2022 • 31 mins
Agenda:
- Meta (Facebook) has sent over some terms for an agreement to buy the Meta Market name. We ran out of legal hours this month, so get to do the review ourselves.
Takeaways:
- Thea and Matt to work together to tame the negative energy leaking out of the server room
- Kate to make some red lines with her red pens
- Updates to the Delivery teams zombie apocalypse planning process to be updated.
- Eric and Matt to have discussions with David and Lars, respectively, about their “marital issues”
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ben (00:07):
welcome to this startup is being recorded.
This recording is improvisedfiction.
Similarities between it and thereal world are entirely
intentional.
Now enjoy the recording.
Kate (00:23):
hey, everybody.
Okay.
The recording is on.
Um, let's let's just get startedtoday.
Um, we are.
are recording.
So we're, uh, so close to notbeing mad at market anymore.
Um, I'm sure everyone's tired ofhearing about this, but I
actually think this contractthat we're about to review from,
(00:43):
from Facebook slash Metta, notmad at market bed, uh, but also
met a market anyway.
It'll give
Matt (00:49):
call them Facebook in this, in this meeting?
I mean it okay.
Thea (00:54):
Yeah, that would be great.
It would just be a lot lessconfusing.
Kate (00:59):
Yeah.
Okay.
So, um, Facebook sent us thiscontract to review.
That's what we'll be going overtoday.
Uh, quick interest and we wantto start.
Thea (01:10):
Califia not going to throw fat, like chief creatives are
here at Metta market.
Eric (01:15):
Eric Troy Carter, chief product officer at Metta market.
Matt (01:18):
uh, matt.yachts.
That's also my domain, uh, CTOhere at Metta market.
I like, I like how we're allusing it one last time.
Thea (01:25):
I know it's like one last ride with a name
Kate (01:28):
Yeah.
Uh, and Kate Blanchet, chief ofstaff, um, John said he did look
over the contract, uh, have acopy from him with like a few
handwritten notations.
So, um, as we go through it, Iguess I'll call this out or, you
know, everyone has the copy, soessentially what happened is we
(01:50):
kind of used up our legalcouncil hours earlier this
month.
Matt (01:55):
Oh, no.
Kate (01:57):
Yeah, obviously bars is super excitable right now about
the GDPR stuff.
Thea (02:04):
Yeah, that makes
Matt (02:05):
Poor guy.
Eric (02:06):
Yup.
Kate (02:07):
Our legal counsel was saying he was trying to schedule
dinners with them.
Happy hours.
Uh, just,
Eric (02:14):
Huh?
Thea (02:14):
wow.
That's that's
Eric (02:18):
Dedication.
Kate (02:20):
yeah.
Matt (02:21):
how many, uh, how many legal hours do we have a month
in our contract?
Kate (02:27):
For
Matt (02:29):
Oh, wow.
Kate (02:30):
E.
Matt (02:31):
I guess maybe he thinks he's gonna get those dinner
hours is like outside the legalsystem.
Like they, he was like, wewouldn't have to pay, I'll have
a talk with Lars.
Uh, The poor
Kate (02:44):
Either way.
Um, we, we have to sign this bythe end of the month.
That's what Facebook has said.
So I just wanted to go through acouple of the points that legal
hadn't gotten to yet that likelooked a little odd to me, but
you know, you all are a littlemore experienced than me and I
started matters.
So maybe this is pretty normal.
Um, So let's, let's just flip topage two.
(03:07):
Um, there is a restriction.
Uh, about Java.
It says you cannot use the Javaprogramming language to control
a nuclear reactor.
Matt (03:19):
okay.
Yeah.
That's um, I recognize that one.
That's actually a standard Java,like from back in the days of
sun Microsystems.
Um, and it's, uh, it's aliability thing on actually Java
site.
It's weird that that's in aFacebook.
I would get it if it was comingfrom Oracle.
Eric (03:39):
Yeah.
I wonder if they're, you don'tthink they're going to buy
Oracle?
Kate (03:45):
oh my
Matt (03:46):
wonder if it's because they use Oracle, it could be a
pass along term.
Eric (03:51):
piggyback light, but.
Matt (03:52):
yeah.
Although I thought, you know,Facebook makes a lot of their
own infrastructure.
It surprises me a little thatthey have a, an Oracle.
Anyway, that's not a problem.
Uh, we try to, we try to be Javafree in this organization.
Um, that's why, that's why youhaven't heard me say anything
about log for J uh, and let'skeep it that way.
Kate (04:09):
okay.
Great.
Okay.
So we're good with that one.
That was easy.
Matt (04:14):
I'm good.
I'm good.
Kate (04:16):
Um, perfect.
Okay.
I think the next one is on thevery end of page four.
It says that after the signingof this contract, we are
prohibited from using the wordFacebook, uh, Facebooking
Facebook, or, uh, faceFacebooked.
Thea (04:34):
ever.
Kate (04:37):
That's why I was confused.
It's just, it's just a singleline by it.
Thea (04:42):
'cause like we mark it on Facebook.
We do a lot of money withFacebook advertising and I would
assume, And I would assume thatFacebook wouldn't want to lose
that.
You know?
I mean, we move a lot of ourstuff to Instagram, but that's
still Facebook and, and also,you know, a couple we're testing
out some stuff in WhatsAppgroups.
(05:02):
So.
Eric (05:04):
well, sorry.
I know this is going to beendlessly confusing, but can we
undo our rule for the meetingand call the Metta for a second?
Because soon we'll be doing metaadvertising and working on the
Metta marketplace.
So.
Thea (05:18):
true.
That's a really good
Eric (05:19):
go away.
Um,
Thea (05:22):
we can do that.
We can move into the future.
I can make it sound like it'scool that we're already, you
know, using meta when otherpeople are using Facebook.
Matt (05:30):
yeah.
Hey, uh, oh, I can, I can lookat it.
I notice it doesn't it doesn'tsay SB,
Kate (05:37):
oh,
Matt (05:37):
there are definitely.
Yeah.
Uh, and they don't mention likeother derivatives, uh, you know,
originally it was called theFacebook.
It was at the Facebook.
Kate (05:49):
great.
So if we say the Facebook, butthat includes the word Facebook
is that prohibit.
Eric (05:56):
well, no, they would have spelled that out because the
Facebook and the Facebook aredistinct.
Eh, we, we can use sentencesthat happen to have, you know,
he, he laid his face downbookish li
Thea (06:09):
Right.
Eric (06:09):
right,
Kate (06:11):
I
Thea (06:11):
What about real Facebook's like, you know, that they had in
like the olden days, like whenyou went to college and you
literally got like a book offaces with names, so
Kate (06:23):
Like a yearbook kind of,
Thea (06:25):
Yeah,
Matt (06:26):
I guess they would consider that to be competition
for what they do now.
Thea (06:30):
I guess
Matt (06:31):
Yeah.
I
Eric (06:32):
but the lion only speculates against speaking
about speaking these words
Thea (06:36):
So as long as, as long as, we don't call it a Facebook and
call it something else, weshould be fine.
Okay.
I think we've stressed teststhat I feel fine.
Kate (06:46):
Okay, great.
Um, okay.
This says that, uh, if we chooseto go into Canadian market, any
resident of Canada who orders,one of our couches will be
required to complete a series ofmathematical questions to claim
their.
Thea (07:02):
Oh, we can't make the Canadian smarter.
Kate (07:06):
Is that what you think they're trying to do with this
clause?
Thea (07:10):
I don't know.
I just think like, you know,they say that, you know, the
brain is one of those.
You use it or lose it kind ofsituation.
And like we would be helping theCanadians retain brain function
longer, thus helping Canadiansupremacy.
Matt (07:26):
I'm sorry, are you saying you, you were not saying we
shall not take upon ourselves.
The burden of making Canadianssmarter.
You are saying that we shouldnot do this because it will have
the side effect of makingCanadians.
Thea (07:42):
yeah, I would think that would be patriotic.
Kate (07:46):
Well, but we, what we could do is put it in our
Canadian work flow and also inour other countries flow, right.
When that sort of even it outmaking everyone's
Eric (07:58):
and we could give the Canadians, hypothetically, if we
wanted to take this strong armedapproach to our role in
diplomacy.
We could give the Canadianmarket, the easiest problems and
other markets could be givenmore challenging problems so
that we could accelerateeverybody's intelligence, but
accelerate the Canadiansintelligence at a slower rate
(08:19):
than everybody else.
Thus opening up an educationgap.
If that was something we wanted.
Thea (08:26):
As, somebody who is invested in not making Canadians
smarter, I think that is a greatidea.
As somebody, in my role increative and marketing, I am a
little worried about the amountof clicks we're adding to our
user flow right now.
And whether or not that is goingto,
Matt (08:42):
I mean, we're talking about creating a literal
cognitive burden, like a barrierto, uh, accepting orders.
I'm going to guess at thatpoint, we have there.
Thea (08:53):
We could also, we're not in Canada, so we could also make
a pact right now to never moveinto Canada.
Matt (09:00):
yeah.
Eric (09:01):
Uh, I feel like Canada's important for our aspirations
towards global trade.
Thea (09:05):
Yes.
Kate (09:07):
somewhat important.
Matt (09:08):
going to be, but like when, uh, I haven't, I gotta be
honest, Eric, I haven't caughtup on your, your four or five,
10 and 20 year, uh, outlookplans.
It's a year, it's a year six.
Eric (09:23):
yeah.
Matt (09:23):
Well, that gives us some time.
I mean, whatever this name dealis, we get with Metta.
Uh, you know, we'll be able torenegotiate at the time.
We do make a push for Canada.
Kate (09:35):
That's a good idea.
Eric (09:36):
Kick
Matt (09:37):
is just a, it's a weird one though.
Like what, have anyone do math?
But my specifically Canadian.
Kate (09:47):
Yeah.
Matt (09:47):
I dunno, Kelsey, uh, your, your guests is as good as any,
although I, I never would havetaken Facebook to be Canadian
supremacists, so
Thea (09:56):
you
Matt (09:56):
live and learn.
Yeah.
Thea (09:58):
are foreign sympathies all over.
Matt (10:02):
And, you know, maybe, uh, by the time we're there,
whomever is inside Facebook,running this nationalist
Canadian scheme, they'll be goneand it'll be, you know, some,
some other country that we getto make special, uh,
intelligence raising, uh,implementations for, gosh, I'm
already annoyed about having tobuild this into the system.
(10:23):
Okay.
What's.
Kate (10:25):
Okay.
So, so next, um, yep.
Uh, actually non for a fewpages, which is great.
If you go to page 13, uh,there's a little line that says
if you've actually taken thetime to read this, please email.
Uh, roger@facebook.com with thiscode and you'll get$500 in
(10:45):
Facebook reward points.
Thea (10:48):
that's great.
I, we definitely could use, uh,Facebook reward points to, uh,
make some upgrades.
Matt (10:56):
Do you think we could?
Cause it doesn't say how manytimes it could be redeemed.
Do you think we could each doit?
Kate (11:05):
try a couple.
Now you guys should shoot offthe field.
Let's see what happens.
Thea (11:09):
All
Matt (11:09):
Yeah.
Okay.
Um,
Thea (11:12):
It's just going to be so great.
Eric (11:15):
Yup.
Yup.
Look at that.
Thea (11:16):
Yeah.
Matt (11:17):
wow.
That was fast.
Kate (11:19):
Wow.
It's this, it's like anautomated email.
Roger at Facebook.
Matt (11:25):
Oh, and it looks like the email back has a redemption
link.
Let me follow, uh, surprisinglythat's not a fishing link.
Okay.
Legitimate Facebook login.
Oh, uh, I don't know if y'allalready redeemed it did, y'all
see this, uh, it says, uh, turnover to the next page.
Eric (11:50):
Uh,
Kate (11:51):
Oh,
Matt (11:52):
and it says just kidding.
And the
Kate (11:54):
Yeah, that's just all the next pages.
It's just kidding.
That's me.
Eric (11:59):
No, it's a smart it's.
It's it's, it's how they checkwhether.
You know, partners are actuallyreading the contract.
They have a, an automated, theyhave a system built in to
actually figure out if peopleare looking through page by page
and who they can try and trickin the future.
Matt (12:16):
I mean, it's, it's, uh, we didn't finish reading the whole
thing, which of course we shouldhave.
And probably we shouldn't,shouldn't try to do anything in
here until we've agreed to theterms, so,
Kate (12:27):
True.
Matt (12:28):
oh God, we should, I'm going to keep going.
I'm going to flip through andmake sure we didn't just agree
to some terms by emailing.
Kate (12:35):
okay.
Yeah.
Uh it's it's John's firstnotation also.
He just wrote hahaha.
Matt (12:41):
Oh, I'm the, just kidding.
Eric (12:43):
Could have written down on the first page, but.
Thea (12:45):
I was
Kate (12:45):
Yeah.
Thea (12:46):
that we were going to get a lot of ad credit out of this.
Apparently
Kate (12:51):
Sorry, we can keep spinning up a brand new company
entities that are, get that newstartup credit for you.
Um, if you want,
Thea (13:00):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Always like it now.
Kate (13:05):
um, okay.
Page 14.
Your systems must have emergencyclosure procedures, uh, for the
instance of a zombie outbreak.
Is that something we have.
Thea (13:23):
We have a series of rituals in case death of the
world, uh, that.
our climate group internally puttogether, we could easily
repurpose those for zombieoutbreak.
Matt (13:37):
Um, Devin, it is actually well covered for this.
Um, we've got it.
Uh, as part of our, uh, verylengthy list of contingencies
for server cage management.
Um, a lot of the folks, uh, whowork here, uh, worked at pair
networks in Pittsburgh and, um,it was kind of home of zombie
prep.
Kate (13:57):
Hm.
Matt (13:58):
yeah, I think, I think we should be good there, uh, which
reminds me, um, I don't reallydo guns, but, um, I, uh, I think
our team is putting in an ammorequisition order.
It turns out it expires, likeit's got a shelf life, uh, and a
bunch of the shotgun stuff wegot was used.
(14:18):
So, uh, KPI.
Kate (14:21):
my memory is kind of fuzzy.
We bought used shotguns
Matt (14:25):
It was before my time.
Uh, no, no, no, no.
It's the, the M well, I will, alot of the equipment was used
actually, it's a really kind ofa rip off to buy a new, a gun or
anything as complicated as agun.
Um, but it's a, the problem ismore of the, the ammo.
Um, and yeah, it looks like wegot it before my time, but I'm
really old.
(14:45):
Like, I think like war surplus,Uh, kind of stuff.
And, uh, you know,
Kate (14:50):
what's the purpose and
Matt (14:52):
O P uh, part of the zombie contingency stuff.
Um,
Kate (14:57):
Oh,
Matt (14:58):
I'm not sure if I should tell you where it's stored on
the stream.
Well, I can give you a bigsense.
Um, not all the server racks inthe server room are running
servers.
Thea (15:08):
it's sort of explain the bright, glowing red or, uh, That
many of my staff have noticedaround the server.
Matt (15:17):
That could just be the number of red LEDs that we have
in there.
it, is it something
Kate (15:23):
odd choice.
Matt (15:25):
well, it's good for night vision.
Thea (15:26):
I don't know, many of my staff will not go near the
server room and just say thatit's a light intense retinas.
I'm fine.
Matt (15:35):
Yeah, no, that's um, yeah.
Sorry if that's been stressingyour team out.
That's that's another part ofour continuous.
Um, we don't want infiltrationby outsiders of any kind.
Uh, so we have aura obligationin place.
Um, actually, if they were to goin, we have some pretty strong
negative energy transmitters.
Uh, your team would be spendingmoney on Reiki.
(15:59):
Uh, let's just say that.
So that's why we encourage ifyou're not on Devore it and
you're not, on-call, don't go inthe server.
pretty.
Thea (16:10):
I mean, my team has not gotten close, uh, and, uh,
we've, we've had a lot of chatsabout that.
A lot of sessions in thescreening room, but we're coming
to terms with it.
Matt (16:23):
okay.
Maybe we could have some folkson your.
Help us, you know, kind of aimthose, make sure it's staying
within the spillover, you know,
Thea (16:32):
yeah, I I'd be happy to do that myself and maybe one other
person who has a strong enoughpractice.
I wouldn't want to just sendanybody over there, you know,
just in case.
Matt (16:41):
Yeah.
That's fair.
Kate (16:42):
what?
Sorry.
I got super confused about whatwe're talking about.
What are you doing in the serverroom.
Thea?
What's this prac.
Thea (16:52):
oh, I I'm just saying that I work on myself and have a deep
spiritual.
Mind and body practice.
And so, you know, if he hasnegative energy pumping out of
the server room, I wouldn't wantto put anybody else in that.
line of fire
Matt (17:09):
And
Thea (17:09):
unless
Matt (17:10):
it's, it's pumping into the server room.
It's it's leaking out of theserver room.
I'm sorry that that's beencausing people distress.
Um, didn't, didn't realize the,uh, the strength of what we had
set up in there, but, um, Iguess it, you know, it means our
defense in depth is working.
So, uh, you know, some goodnews.
Thea (17:30):
Yeah, of course.
I mean, I did a lot of, you knowPSYOP work, uh, when I was, you
know, in my twenties.
So I'm happy to help take a lookat actually your setup there and
add some recommendations if youreally want to, you know,
mentally turn people away before
Matt (17:46):
that's great.
Thea (17:47):
barriers.
Matt (17:48):
yeah.
Uh, yeah.
I love that.
Thea (17:50):
That's why I have a fridge in my office that nobody
actually remembered.
Matt (17:54):
Sorry, what were we talking about?
Kate (17:58):
Uh, it was the zombie apocalypse, um, clause, I guess.
Matt (18:04):
right.
Yeah.
Devin IC.
Kate (18:06):
Okay.
I was just going to say with thedelivery team, um, I don't know
that we're fully ready.
I did send everyone a copy of,uh self-defense by Paula Abdul,
um, VHS.
So that might be a start,
Matt (18:22):
VCRs at any of our facilities.
Kate (18:26):
in, in the vans.
We got a great deal on vans fromthe nineties that have little
TVs and VCRs built in.
Matt (18:35):
Wow, man.
Fancy.
I mean for the nineties, butyeah, this is no joke.
Nineties wise, lox.
Kate (18:46):
Okay, this one's interesting.
Um, it says for all of ournegotiations on the C, we will
pay for your room board andtravel, but you agreed to be on
camera 24 7.
Thea (19:01):
Oh, that might be, I, I will say that I, in preparation
for this had a little gettogether with some of the key
people at Metta, um, on theocean.
Um, and we had a blast.
I mean, really a great time.
And.
What a wild time we have thatthey probably want documented
(19:23):
for legal purposes from thispoint further.
Eric (19:27):
Who are we negotiating with?
Like, was this even referringto.
Thea (19:32):
oh, no, I wasn't.
I wasn't like negotiating withMetta or Facebook.
I mean, they already took ourname.
I didn't want them to take moreand where to really vulnerable
position.
And, you know, I, as somebodywho's been at Facebook
advertiser for years, ever sincethey were only open to colleges,
I just thought that we had kindof a relationship to, to have a
(19:55):
discussion.
Kate (19:57):
okay.
They also have a clause in herethat says that, uh, the room and
board insurance will not coverdamage from bodily fluids,
including urine.
Thea (20:08):
Okay.
That was not me.
I just want it.
That was not me, but, um, I'mnot able to say who it was.
Eric (20:19):
do do are any of our four monthly legal hours are
committed to those?
Be used at.
Or do we have to go get usanother provider?
Thea (20:29):
I think from what I've talked to for a legal provider
very briefly is That they do notdo business in international
waters.
So once you leave that coastalUnited States, it's, you know,
um,
Eric (20:43):
so that's something we should flag for, for John.
We might need to up our budget,but otherwise fine.
I mean, it sounds like you tookcare of a lot.
Yeah.
Thea (20:51):
Now that we have this, you know, wonderful, uh, sailing
budget, always happy to be thatgo between with people
Kate (20:59):
yeah, the sailing budget is bigger than our legal budget,
so that's something.
Thea (21:04):
add more effective.
Kate (21:06):
Yeah, so, so the next page is just a lot more stuff for
around a development, design,manufacturing, production of
nuclear missiles, chemical orbiological weapons.
Um, John also notated this one,he just wrote ha again.
Matt (21:26):
these are oddly specific.
Thea (21:28):
Yeah, I think that might be an inside joke between, you
know, John and I, I think somethings might have slipped out on
the boat about like my past andJohn's past that just made them
want to optimize and cross someT's
Matt (21:42):
I do just, sorry.
I do want to add, I got to thebottom here about biohazard
containment and I want to goahead and protest in advance.
We will not be using the serverroom for biohazard containment.
Okay.
The security is there to keepthings and people out.
This is not there to keep peoplein.
It could be used for.
(22:03):
In a pinch, but I'm against it.
Kate (22:07):
what if the person on call is the person also needs to be
bio hazardly contains.
Matt (22:13):
Oh, uh, we have that, that's actually paragraph six,
subsection B of the zombieapocalypse plan.
Uh, and, um, unfortunately meanslike we draw straws on who lets
them out because you can't, youdon't want a zombie running
around.
Like they could nudge.
Kate (22:32):
so you just rather let them loose in the office versus
leaving them in the server.
Matt (22:36):
Well, I mean, you want to contain or disable or take them
out, but most of the guns arekept inside the server room.
So you'll need to get the zombieout so you can get the team in.
So then you can get theequipment.
We have a couple ofcontingencies stashed around.
Kate (22:58):
but yeah, I guess that's fair, but it just feels like.
it's a zombie apocalypse orwe're really going to be that
worried about running a couchmarketplace.
Matt (23:08):
oh, uh, I mean, there are several escalating levels of
zombie apocalypse, uh, to dealwith.
And, and yeah, if it's likezombie, this is more of a
patient, zero kind of thing, youknow, like somebody shows up to
work, they look a little grayishand sweaty, they're hiding an
injury and they won't say.
Uh, that kind of thing, notlike, you know, turn on the
(23:30):
news.
Oh, look, the world is ending.
I think we have a lot moreproblems if that's going on,
just in case you want to knowit's um, we have, uh, two fire
systems in there.
One is fire suppression.
The other, you know, takes careof this.
Kate (23:48):
Okay.
I see how it is.
I get all the flack for creatingflammable couches, but Matt gets
to just make his entire serverroom something that could be set
on fire.
And everyone's fine.
Matt (23:59):
it's extremely contained.
Thea (24:03):
We're
Matt (24:03):
charge is, is as small bit of thermite that eats a hard
drive.
I mean, we're not talking aboutthis is not fireworks.
I mean, it'll look cool.
Thea (24:12):
we're also not inviting political opponents into.
Two step plan, mobile area,
Matt (24:19):
Yeah.
Thea (24:20):
which is not your fault.
I just want to be the very cleargate.
That is absolutely not yourfault.
You know, it's, you could nothave foreseen what was going to
happen, but.
Kate (24:31):
Right.
Okay.
Okay.
Enough about flames, um, lastpage, um, it seems like Facebook
Mehta has required.
That'd be pick one of thesenames.
Eric (24:46):
oh boy.
Matt (24:48):
Wait, they gave us a list.
Kate (24:53):
It's it seems like domains they've already bought that.
They're like trying to trade usbasically.
And,
Thea (24:59):
no, this is why we went out at sea.
So we wouldn't have to do thisso we could have boundless
creativity without theconstraints.
Kate (25:07):
I, I know, I didn't know.
Um, couch K, sorry.
Yeah.
K O w C
Eric (25:18):
O w.
Thea (25:19):
K O w case of worst letter of the alphabet.
That is well-documented.
You're going to the next, one'sgoing to have a Z or an X.
Kate (25:32):
It's
Matt (25:33):
mean, this w.ch is taken.
Let me do the, who is on this,
Eric (25:39):
XE lax, Z lax,
Kate (25:44):
I guess it sounds kind of like, relax.
Eric (25:46):
but not.
Kate (25:49):
Also like, so locks or Zoloft,
Eric (25:52):
Yeah.
Thea (25:54):
I cleaned up so much Zack from the boat for this.
This is what we get.
Kate (25:59):
Zack, Zack.
Eric (26:02):
of course it was, of course it was.
Was it him or was it his, was ithis avatar.
Thea (26:07):
You know, he did come, he just sent his little, he sent
his little avatar in there.
Eric (26:13):
His
Thea (26:13):
Who's worse.
Who is
Eric (26:15):
avatar
Thea (26:16):
who is who like our sub hub, both worse.
The Jack Dorsey.
Eric (26:23):
well, yeah,
Kate (26:25):
Why, why is the first thing that?
they're doing in The metaphor Istrying to create avatars that
like produce all the types ofbodily fluids.
Thea (26:33):
I don't know, but I pretty sure they were testing it out of
the boat because it was thewhole gambit and it was
obviously real enough to dealwith insurance.
Eric (26:45):
Jeez.
What is that?
The whole list?
Is there another
Kate (26:49):
no, no.
There's the next one is, isasinine.
Eric (26:57):
What.
Thea (26:59):
okay.
I did get a little tipsy and I,I just, I keep repeating Assana
and I, I, I might've it might'veslipped out.
It might've slipped out.
Kate (27:10):
We've got so close to eliminating that mantra from our
D meeting this week.
So close,
Thea (27:17):
my head.
Eric (27:18):
Would've been two weeks in a row.
Kate (27:19):
you know, I just can't stand the chanting anymore.
We're trying to start a meetingand just chanting and chanting
and chanting, and then the drumsand the drums start.
And then next thing you know,someone's got the acoustic
guitar and I just.
Matt (27:37):
well, all of these that I've checked so far are
definitely registered
Eric (27:42):
Yup.
Matt (27:43):
within the last few weeks and there's domain privacy on a
lot of them, but the ones thatare.
They're registered to Facebookslash meta.
Thea (27:56):
I can't believe that.
I thought I had gotten ahead of,it
Matt (28:01):
Great.
Thea (28:02):
feels like a personal attack on myself and my
creativity and
Matt (28:08):
Well, look, this isn't, this isn't the final
Eric (28:11):
yeah, we can send red lines.
Matt (28:13):
Yeah.
Kate (28:14):
Yeah.
Eric (28:15):
R zero remaining hours this month.
Kate (28:20):
Oh, I can just do the red lines.
I have multiple red pens.
Matt (28:25):
I mean, we can at least send back the list that we've
been thinking about and that thetop.
Eric (28:30):
Can we register those domains first?
Kate (28:33):
Good
Matt (28:33):
we should.
We should.
Um, I'm gonna make myself a notefor that.
Kate (28:38):
It will be fine.
We'll do some markups.
We'll shoot around a Google doc.
Uh, John will probably notate abit more.
Um, and, and there'll be fine.
Everything will be fine begreat.
Thea (28:50):
everything will be fine.
Matt (28:52):
All right.
Well, good review everybody.
Um, once our legal hoursrollover, it'll be awesome to
have our lawyers actually take alook at this too.
Kate (29:03):
If you could maybe like really take it to Lars his
schedule and make sure hedoesn't have anything scheduled
them for the first of the month,you know?
Yeah.
That'd be good.
Matt (29:12):
Yeah.
Lars and I are going to have atalk and, um, We're just going
to have more project time forLars and less requirements
gathering
Eric (29:22):
I think David can pick up the slack.
Matt (29:25):
I mean, not in the sense that like he'll try to take our
lawyer out to dinner.
Right.
Okay.
Eric (29:30):
no.
Matt (29:32):
good.
Kate (29:33):
Okay.
Matt (29:34):
Yeah.
Lars should be working withDavid anyway.
They shouldn't, he shouldn't begoing over.
Eric (29:37):
David does intermittent fasting, so he doesn't eat
dinner anyway.
Matt (29:42):
Oh,
Kate (29:42):
Yeah, there have been like a few HR complaints, uh,
respectively.
Each other, so we shouldprobably talk another day about
like maybe reassigning some ofthe PM, uh, dev teams.
Matt (29:56):
yeah, I guess.
Eric (29:57):
take a look at it,
Kate (29:58):
Yeah.
Matt (29:59):
I'm open, although I'm very much like an odd couple,
Eric (30:02):
it out.
Matt (30:03):
I'm a believer.
Yeah.
You know, it's, it's thattension that makes you reach
creative solutions.
Kate (30:08):
So they basically need marriage
Thea (30:11):
I was just, yeah.
Or they should just let theirtension continue and drive each
other towards success.
Kate (30:21):
Okay, well, this is this'll definitely come back up.
Uh, but I think today we've kindof got to the end of our agenda
successfully in a way I willstop the recording.
Ben (30:37):
This meeting has ended.
To subscribe to this startup isbeing recorded.
Go to the podcast player of yourchoice and tap a button that
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At hello@startuprecorded.com.
Kate is played by ValerieGarrison.
(30:57):
Valerie is a health tech productmanager and regularly plays with
the improv troupe letters tochicken online.
You can find her on Twitter atthevalgarris eric has played by
Barry wright Barry is a productmanager at Spotify and a
co-founder of Highwire Improv.
Find him by his name onLinkedIn, where he holds regular
office hours or athighwireimprov.com.
Matt is played by MartinMcguire.
(31:19):
Marty is a senior web engineerand improviser in New York city.
You can find Marty's comedy codeand cats on his website at M M G
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Robyn is a digital campaignmanager for ocean Conservancy
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You can find her on all thesocial medias.
And she does mean all at rsteggythank you for listening.
welcome to this startup is being recorded.
This recording is improvisedfiction.
Similarities between it and thereal world are entirely
intentional.
Now enjoy the recording.
Kate (00:23):
hey, everybody.
Okay.
The recording is on.
Um, let's let's just get startedtoday.
Um, we are.
are recording.
So we're, uh, so close to notbeing mad at market anymore.
Um, I'm sure everyone's tired ofhearing about this, but I
actually think this contractthat we're about to review from,
(00:43):
from Facebook slash Metta, notmad at market bed, uh, but also
met a market anyway.
It'll give
Matt (00:49):
call them Facebook in this, in this meeting?
I mean it okay.
Thea (00:54):
Yeah, that would be great.
It would just be a lot lessconfusing.
Kate (00:59):
Yeah.
Okay.
So, um, Facebook sent us thiscontract to review.
That's what we'll be going overtoday.
Uh, quick interest and we wantto start.
Thea (01:10):
Califia not going to throw fat, like chief creatives are
here at Metta market.
Eric (01:15):
Eric Troy Carter, chief product officer at Metta market.
Matt (01:18):
uh, matt.yachts.
That's also my domain, uh, CTOhere at Metta market.
I like, I like how we're allusing it one last time.
Thea (01:25):
I know it's like one last ride with a name
Kate (01:28):
Yeah.
Uh, and Kate Blanchet, chief ofstaff, um, John said he did look
over the contract, uh, have acopy from him with like a few
handwritten notations.
So, um, as we go through it, Iguess I'll call this out or, you
know, everyone has the copy, soessentially what happened is we
(01:50):
kind of used up our legalcouncil hours earlier this
month.
Matt (01:55):
Oh, no.
Kate (01:57):
Yeah, obviously bars is super excitable right now about
the GDPR stuff.
Thea (02:04):
Yeah, that makes
Matt (02:05):
Poor guy.
Eric (02:06):
Yup.
Kate (02:07):
Our legal counsel was saying he was trying to schedule
dinners with them.
Happy hours.
Uh, just,
Eric (02:14):
Huh?
Thea (02:14):
wow.
That's that's
Eric (02:18):
Dedication.
Kate (02:20):
yeah.
Matt (02:21):
how many, uh, how many legal hours do we have a month
in our contract?
Kate (02:27):
For
Matt (02:29):
Oh, wow.
Kate (02:30):
E.
Matt (02:31):
I guess maybe he thinks he's gonna get those dinner
hours is like outside the legalsystem.
Like they, he was like, wewouldn't have to pay, I'll have
a talk with Lars.
Uh, The poor
Kate (02:44):
Either way.
Um, we, we have to sign this bythe end of the month.
That's what Facebook has said.
So I just wanted to go through acouple of the points that legal
hadn't gotten to yet that likelooked a little odd to me, but
you know, you all are a littlemore experienced than me and I
started matters.
So maybe this is pretty normal.
Um, So let's, let's just flip topage two.
(03:07):
Um, there is a restriction.
Uh, about Java.
It says you cannot use the Javaprogramming language to control
a nuclear reactor.
Matt (03:19):
okay.
Yeah.
That's um, I recognize that one.
That's actually a standard Java,like from back in the days of
sun Microsystems.
Um, and it's, uh, it's aliability thing on actually Java
site.
It's weird that that's in aFacebook.
I would get it if it was comingfrom Oracle.
Eric (03:39):
Yeah.
I wonder if they're, you don'tthink they're going to buy
Oracle?
Kate (03:45):
oh my
Matt (03:46):
wonder if it's because they use Oracle, it could be a
pass along term.
Eric (03:51):
piggyback light, but.
Matt (03:52):
yeah.
Although I thought, you know,Facebook makes a lot of their
own infrastructure.
It surprises me a little thatthey have a, an Oracle.
Anyway, that's not a problem.
Uh, we try to, we try to be Javafree in this organization.
Um, that's why, that's why youhaven't heard me say anything
about log for J uh, and let'skeep it that way.
Kate (04:09):
okay.
Great.
Okay.
So we're good with that one.
That was easy.
Matt (04:14):
I'm good.
I'm good.
Kate (04:16):
Um, perfect.
Okay.
I think the next one is on thevery end of page four.
It says that after the signingof this contract, we are
prohibited from using the wordFacebook, uh, Facebooking
Facebook, or, uh, faceFacebooked.
Thea (04:34):
ever.
Kate (04:37):
That's why I was confused.
It's just, it's just a singleline by it.
Thea (04:42):
'cause like we mark it on Facebook.
We do a lot of money withFacebook advertising and I would
assume, And I would assume thatFacebook wouldn't want to lose
that.
You know?
I mean, we move a lot of ourstuff to Instagram, but that's
still Facebook and, and also,you know, a couple we're testing
out some stuff in WhatsAppgroups.
(05:02):
So.
Eric (05:04):
well, sorry.
I know this is going to beendlessly confusing, but can we
undo our rule for the meetingand call the Metta for a second?
Because soon we'll be doing metaadvertising and working on the
Metta marketplace.
So.
Thea (05:18):
true.
That's a really good
Eric (05:19):
go away.
Um,
Thea (05:22):
we can do that.
We can move into the future.
I can make it sound like it'scool that we're already, you
know, using meta when otherpeople are using Facebook.
Matt (05:30):
yeah.
Hey, uh, oh, I can, I can lookat it.
I notice it doesn't it doesn'tsay SB,
Kate (05:37):
oh,
Matt (05:37):
there are definitely.
Yeah.
Uh, and they don't mention likeother derivatives, uh, you know,
originally it was called theFacebook.
It was at the Facebook.
Kate (05:49):
great.
So if we say the Facebook, butthat includes the word Facebook
is that prohibit.
Eric (05:56):
well, no, they would have spelled that out because the
Facebook and the Facebook aredistinct.
Eh, we, we can use sentencesthat happen to have, you know,
he, he laid his face downbookish li
Thea (06:09):
Right.
Eric (06:09):
right,
Kate (06:11):
I
Thea (06:11):
What about real Facebook's like, you know, that they had in
like the olden days, like whenyou went to college and you
literally got like a book offaces with names, so
Kate (06:23):
Like a yearbook kind of,
Thea (06:25):
Yeah,
Matt (06:26):
I guess they would consider that to be competition
for what they do now.
Thea (06:30):
I guess
Matt (06:31):
Yeah.
I
Eric (06:32):
but the lion only speculates against speaking
about speaking these words
Thea (06:36):
So as long as, as long as, we don't call it a Facebook and
call it something else, weshould be fine.
Okay.
I think we've stressed teststhat I feel fine.
Kate (06:46):
Okay, great.
Um, okay.
This says that, uh, if we chooseto go into Canadian market, any
resident of Canada who orders,one of our couches will be
required to complete a series ofmathematical questions to claim
their.
Thea (07:02):
Oh, we can't make the Canadian smarter.
Kate (07:06):
Is that what you think they're trying to do with this
clause?
Thea (07:10):
I don't know.
I just think like, you know,they say that, you know, the
brain is one of those.
You use it or lose it kind ofsituation.
And like we would be helping theCanadians retain brain function
longer, thus helping Canadiansupremacy.
Matt (07:26):
I'm sorry, are you saying you, you were not saying we
shall not take upon ourselves.
The burden of making Canadianssmarter.
You are saying that we shouldnot do this because it will have
the side effect of makingCanadians.
Thea (07:42):
yeah, I would think that would be patriotic.
Kate (07:46):
Well, but we, what we could do is put it in our
Canadian work flow and also inour other countries flow, right.
When that sort of even it outmaking everyone's
Eric (07:58):
and we could give the Canadians, hypothetically, if we
wanted to take this strong armedapproach to our role in
diplomacy.
We could give the Canadianmarket, the easiest problems and
other markets could be givenmore challenging problems so
that we could accelerateeverybody's intelligence, but
accelerate the Canadiansintelligence at a slower rate
(08:19):
than everybody else.
Thus opening up an educationgap.
If that was something we wanted.
Thea (08:26):
As, somebody who is invested in not making Canadians
smarter, I think that is a greatidea.
As somebody, in my role increative and marketing, I am a
little worried about the amountof clicks we're adding to our
user flow right now.
And whether or not that is goingto,
Matt (08:42):
I mean, we're talking about creating a literal
cognitive burden, like a barrierto, uh, accepting orders.
I'm going to guess at thatpoint, we have there.
Thea (08:53):
We could also, we're not in Canada, so we could also make
a pact right now to never moveinto Canada.
Matt (09:00):
yeah.
Eric (09:01):
Uh, I feel like Canada's important for our aspirations
towards global trade.
Thea (09:05):
Yes.
Kate (09:07):
somewhat important.
Matt (09:08):
going to be, but like when, uh, I haven't, I gotta be
honest, Eric, I haven't caughtup on your, your four or five,
10 and 20 year, uh, outlookplans.
It's a year, it's a year six.
Eric (09:23):
yeah.
Matt (09:23):
Well, that gives us some time.
I mean, whatever this name dealis, we get with Metta.
Uh, you know, we'll be able torenegotiate at the time.
We do make a push for Canada.
Kate (09:35):
That's a good idea.
Eric (09:36):
Kick
Matt (09:37):
is just a, it's a weird one though.
Like what, have anyone do math?
But my specifically Canadian.
Kate (09:47):
Yeah.
Matt (09:47):
I dunno, Kelsey, uh, your, your guests is as good as any,
although I, I never would havetaken Facebook to be Canadian
supremacists, so
Thea (09:56):
you
Matt (09:56):
live and learn.
Yeah.
Thea (09:58):
are foreign sympathies all over.
Matt (10:02):
And, you know, maybe, uh, by the time we're there,
whomever is inside Facebook,running this nationalist
Canadian scheme, they'll be goneand it'll be, you know, some,
some other country that we getto make special, uh,
intelligence raising, uh,implementations for, gosh, I'm
already annoyed about having tobuild this into the system.
(10:23):
Okay.
What's.
Kate (10:25):
Okay.
So, so next, um, yep.
Uh, actually non for a fewpages, which is great.
If you go to page 13, uh,there's a little line that says
if you've actually taken thetime to read this, please email.
Uh, roger@facebook.com with thiscode and you'll get$500 in
(10:45):
Facebook reward points.
Thea (10:48):
that's great.
I, we definitely could use, uh,Facebook reward points to, uh,
make some upgrades.
Matt (10:56):
Do you think we could?
Cause it doesn't say how manytimes it could be redeemed.
Do you think we could each doit?
Kate (11:05):
try a couple.
Now you guys should shoot offthe field.
Let's see what happens.
Thea (11:09):
All
Matt (11:09):
Yeah.
Okay.
Um,
Thea (11:12):
It's just going to be so great.
Eric (11:15):
Yup.
Yup.
Look at that.
Thea (11:16):
Yeah.
Matt (11:17):
wow.
That was fast.
Kate (11:19):
Wow.
It's this, it's like anautomated email.
Roger at Facebook.
Matt (11:25):
Oh, and it looks like the email back has a redemption
link.
Let me follow, uh, surprisinglythat's not a fishing link.
Okay.
Legitimate Facebook login.
Oh, uh, I don't know if y'allalready redeemed it did, y'all
see this, uh, it says, uh, turnover to the next page.
Eric (11:50):
Uh,
Kate (11:51):
Oh,
Matt (11:52):
and it says just kidding.
And the
Kate (11:54):
Yeah, that's just all the next pages.
It's just kidding.
That's me.
Eric (11:59):
No, it's a smart it's.
It's it's, it's how they checkwhether.
You know, partners are actuallyreading the contract.
They have a, an automated, theyhave a system built in to
actually figure out if peopleare looking through page by page
and who they can try and trickin the future.
Matt (12:16):
I mean, it's, it's, uh, we didn't finish reading the whole
thing, which of course we shouldhave.
And probably we shouldn't,shouldn't try to do anything in
here until we've agreed to theterms, so,
Kate (12:27):
True.
Matt (12:28):
oh God, we should, I'm going to keep going.
I'm going to flip through andmake sure we didn't just agree
to some terms by emailing.
Kate (12:35):
okay.
Yeah.
Uh it's it's John's firstnotation also.
He just wrote hahaha.
Matt (12:41):
Oh, I'm the, just kidding.
Eric (12:43):
Could have written down on the first page, but.
Thea (12:45):
I was
Kate (12:45):
Yeah.
Thea (12:46):
that we were going to get a lot of ad credit out of this.
Apparently
Kate (12:51):
Sorry, we can keep spinning up a brand new company
entities that are, get that newstartup credit for you.
Um, if you want,
Thea (13:00):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Always like it now.
Kate (13:05):
um, okay.
Page 14.
Your systems must have emergencyclosure procedures, uh, for the
instance of a zombie outbreak.
Is that something we have.
Thea (13:23):
We have a series of rituals in case death of the
world, uh, that.
our climate group internally puttogether, we could easily
repurpose those for zombieoutbreak.
Matt (13:37):
Um, Devin, it is actually well covered for this.
Um, we've got it.
Uh, as part of our, uh, verylengthy list of contingencies
for server cage management.
Um, a lot of the folks, uh, whowork here, uh, worked at pair
networks in Pittsburgh and, um,it was kind of home of zombie
prep.
Kate (13:57):
Hm.
Matt (13:58):
yeah, I think, I think we should be good there, uh, which
reminds me, um, I don't reallydo guns, but, um, I, uh, I think
our team is putting in an ammorequisition order.
It turns out it expires, likeit's got a shelf life, uh, and a
bunch of the shotgun stuff wegot was used.
(14:18):
So, uh, KPI.
Kate (14:21):
my memory is kind of fuzzy.
We bought used shotguns
Matt (14:25):
It was before my time.
Uh, no, no, no, no.
It's the, the M well, I will, alot of the equipment was used
actually, it's a really kind ofa rip off to buy a new, a gun or
anything as complicated as agun.
Um, but it's a, the problem ismore of the, the ammo.
Um, and yeah, it looks like wegot it before my time, but I'm
really old.
(14:45):
Like, I think like war surplus,Uh, kind of stuff.
And, uh, you know,
Kate (14:50):
what's the purpose and
Matt (14:52):
O P uh, part of the zombie contingency stuff.
Um,
Kate (14:57):
Oh,
Matt (14:58):
I'm not sure if I should tell you where it's stored on
the stream.
Well, I can give you a bigsense.
Um, not all the server racks inthe server room are running
servers.
Thea (15:08):
it's sort of explain the bright, glowing red or, uh, That
many of my staff have noticedaround the server.
Matt (15:17):
That could just be the number of red LEDs that we have
in there.
it, is it something
Kate (15:23):
odd choice.
Matt (15:25):
well, it's good for night vision.
Thea (15:26):
I don't know, many of my staff will not go near the
server room and just say thatit's a light intense retinas.
I'm fine.
Matt (15:35):
Yeah, no, that's um, yeah.
Sorry if that's been stressingyour team out.
That's that's another part ofour continuous.
Um, we don't want infiltrationby outsiders of any kind.
Uh, so we have aura obligationin place.
Um, actually, if they were to goin, we have some pretty strong
negative energy transmitters.
Uh, your team would be spendingmoney on Reiki.
(15:59):
Uh, let's just say that.
So that's why we encourage ifyou're not on Devore it and
you're not, on-call, don't go inthe server.
pretty.
Thea (16:10):
I mean, my team has not gotten close, uh, and, uh,
we've, we've had a lot of chatsabout that.
A lot of sessions in thescreening room, but we're coming
to terms with it.
Matt (16:23):
okay.
Maybe we could have some folkson your.
Help us, you know, kind of aimthose, make sure it's staying
within the spillover, you know,
Thea (16:32):
yeah, I I'd be happy to do that myself and maybe one other
person who has a strong enoughpractice.
I wouldn't want to just sendanybody over there, you know,
just in case.
Matt (16:41):
Yeah.
That's fair.
Kate (16:42):
what?
Sorry.
I got super confused about whatwe're talking about.
What are you doing in the serverroom.
Thea?
What's this prac.
Thea (16:52):
oh, I I'm just saying that I work on myself and have a deep
spiritual.
Mind and body practice.
And so, you know, if he hasnegative energy pumping out of
the server room, I wouldn't wantto put anybody else in that.
line of fire
Matt (17:09):
And
Thea (17:09):
unless
Matt (17:10):
it's, it's pumping into the server room.
It's it's leaking out of theserver room.
I'm sorry that that's beencausing people distress.
Um, didn't, didn't realize the,uh, the strength of what we had
set up in there, but, um, Iguess it, you know, it means our
defense in depth is working.
So, uh, you know, some goodnews.
Thea (17:30):
Yeah, of course.
I mean, I did a lot of, you knowPSYOP work, uh, when I was, you
know, in my twenties.
So I'm happy to help take a lookat actually your setup there and
add some recommendations if youreally want to, you know,
mentally turn people away before
Matt (17:46):
that's great.
Thea (17:47):
barriers.
Matt (17:48):
yeah.
Uh, yeah.
I love that.
Thea (17:50):
That's why I have a fridge in my office that nobody
actually remembered.
Matt (17:54):
Sorry, what were we talking about?
Kate (17:58):
Uh, it was the zombie apocalypse, um, clause, I guess.
Matt (18:04):
right.
Yeah.
Devin IC.
Kate (18:06):
Okay.
I was just going to say with thedelivery team, um, I don't know
that we're fully ready.
I did send everyone a copy of,uh self-defense by Paula Abdul,
um, VHS.
So that might be a start,
Matt (18:22):
VCRs at any of our facilities.
Kate (18:26):
in, in the vans.
We got a great deal on vans fromthe nineties that have little
TVs and VCRs built in.
Matt (18:35):
Wow, man.
Fancy.
I mean for the nineties, butyeah, this is no joke.
Nineties wise, lox.
Kate (18:46):
Okay, this one's interesting.
Um, it says for all of ournegotiations on the C, we will
pay for your room board andtravel, but you agreed to be on
camera 24 7.
Thea (19:01):
Oh, that might be, I, I will say that I, in preparation
for this had a little gettogether with some of the key
people at Metta, um, on theocean.
Um, and we had a blast.
I mean, really a great time.
And.
What a wild time we have thatthey probably want documented
(19:23):
for legal purposes from thispoint further.
Eric (19:27):
Who are we negotiating with?
Like, was this even referringto.
Thea (19:32):
oh, no, I wasn't.
I wasn't like negotiating withMetta or Facebook.
I mean, they already took ourname.
I didn't want them to take moreand where to really vulnerable
position.
And, you know, I, as somebodywho's been at Facebook
advertiser for years, ever sincethey were only open to colleges,
I just thought that we had kindof a relationship to, to have a
(19:55):
discussion.
Kate (19:57):
okay.
They also have a clause in herethat says that, uh, the room and
board insurance will not coverdamage from bodily fluids,
including urine.
Thea (20:08):
Okay.
That was not me.
I just want it.
That was not me, but, um, I'mnot able to say who it was.
Eric (20:19):
do do are any of our four monthly legal hours are
committed to those?
Be used at.
Or do we have to go get usanother provider?
Thea (20:29):
I think from what I've talked to for a legal provider
very briefly is That they do notdo business in international
waters.
So once you leave that coastalUnited States, it's, you know,
um,
Eric (20:43):
so that's something we should flag for, for John.
We might need to up our budget,but otherwise fine.
I mean, it sounds like you tookcare of a lot.
Yeah.
Thea (20:51):
Now that we have this, you know, wonderful, uh, sailing
budget, always happy to be thatgo between with people
Kate (20:59):
yeah, the sailing budget is bigger than our legal budget,
so that's something.
Thea (21:04):
add more effective.
Kate (21:06):
Yeah, so, so the next page is just a lot more stuff for
around a development, design,manufacturing, production of
nuclear missiles, chemical orbiological weapons.
Um, John also notated this one,he just wrote ha again.
Matt (21:26):
these are oddly specific.
Thea (21:28):
Yeah, I think that might be an inside joke between, you
know, John and I, I think somethings might have slipped out on
the boat about like my past andJohn's past that just made them
want to optimize and cross someT's
Matt (21:42):
I do just, sorry.
I do want to add, I got to thebottom here about biohazard
containment and I want to goahead and protest in advance.
We will not be using the serverroom for biohazard containment.
Okay.
The security is there to keepthings and people out.
This is not there to keep peoplein.
It could be used for.
(22:03):
In a pinch, but I'm against it.
Kate (22:07):
what if the person on call is the person also needs to be
bio hazardly contains.
Matt (22:13):
Oh, uh, we have that, that's actually paragraph six,
subsection B of the zombieapocalypse plan.
Uh, and, um, unfortunately meanslike we draw straws on who lets
them out because you can't, youdon't want a zombie running
around.
Like they could nudge.
Kate (22:32):
so you just rather let them loose in the office versus
leaving them in the server.
Matt (22:36):
Well, I mean, you want to contain or disable or take them
out, but most of the guns arekept inside the server room.
So you'll need to get the zombieout so you can get the team in.
So then you can get theequipment.
We have a couple ofcontingencies stashed around.
Kate (22:58):
but yeah, I guess that's fair, but it just feels like.
it's a zombie apocalypse orwe're really going to be that
worried about running a couchmarketplace.
Matt (23:08):
oh, uh, I mean, there are several escalating levels of
zombie apocalypse, uh, to dealwith.
And, and yeah, if it's likezombie, this is more of a
patient, zero kind of thing, youknow, like somebody shows up to
work, they look a little grayishand sweaty, they're hiding an
injury and they won't say.
Uh, that kind of thing, notlike, you know, turn on the
(23:30):
news.
Oh, look, the world is ending.
I think we have a lot moreproblems if that's going on,
just in case you want to knowit's um, we have, uh, two fire
systems in there.
One is fire suppression.
The other, you know, takes careof this.
Kate (23:48):
Okay.
I see how it is.
I get all the flack for creatingflammable couches, but Matt gets
to just make his entire serverroom something that could be set
on fire.
And everyone's fine.
Matt (23:59):
it's extremely contained.
Thea (24:03):
We're
Matt (24:03):
charge is, is as small bit of thermite that eats a hard
drive.
I mean, we're not talking aboutthis is not fireworks.
I mean, it'll look cool.
Thea (24:12):
we're also not inviting political opponents into.
Two step plan, mobile area,
Matt (24:19):
Yeah.
Thea (24:20):
which is not your fault.
I just want to be the very cleargate.
That is absolutely not yourfault.
You know, it's, you could nothave foreseen what was going to
happen, but.
Kate (24:31):
Right.
Okay.
Okay.
Enough about flames, um, lastpage, um, it seems like Facebook
Mehta has required.
That'd be pick one of thesenames.
Eric (24:46):
oh boy.
Matt (24:48):
Wait, they gave us a list.
Kate (24:53):
It's it seems like domains they've already bought that.
They're like trying to trade usbasically.
And,
Thea (24:59):
no, this is why we went out at sea.
So we wouldn't have to do thisso we could have boundless
creativity without theconstraints.
Kate (25:07):
I, I know, I didn't know.
Um, couch K, sorry.
Yeah.
K O w C
Eric (25:18):
O w.
Thea (25:19):
K O w case of worst letter of the alphabet.
That is well-documented.
You're going to the next, one'sgoing to have a Z or an X.
Kate (25:32):
It's
Matt (25:33):
mean, this w.ch is taken.
Let me do the, who is on this,
Eric (25:39):
XE lax, Z lax,
Kate (25:44):
I guess it sounds kind of like, relax.
Eric (25:46):
but not.
Kate (25:49):
Also like, so locks or Zoloft,
Eric (25:52):
Yeah.
Thea (25:54):
I cleaned up so much Zack from the boat for this.
This is what we get.
Kate (25:59):
Zack, Zack.
Eric (26:02):
of course it was, of course it was.
Was it him or was it his, was ithis avatar.
Thea (26:07):
You know, he did come, he just sent his little, he sent
his little avatar in there.
Eric (26:13):
His
Thea (26:13):
Who's worse.
Who is
Eric (26:15):
avatar
Thea (26:16):
who is who like our sub hub, both worse.
The Jack Dorsey.
Eric (26:23):
well, yeah,
Kate (26:25):
Why, why is the first thing that?
they're doing in The metaphor Istrying to create avatars that
like produce all the types ofbodily fluids.
Thea (26:33):
I don't know, but I pretty sure they were testing it out of
the boat because it was thewhole gambit and it was
obviously real enough to dealwith insurance.
Eric (26:45):
Jeez.
What is that?
The whole list?
Is there another
Kate (26:49):
no, no.
There's the next one is, isasinine.
Eric (26:57):
What.
Thea (26:59):
okay.
I did get a little tipsy and I,I just, I keep repeating Assana
and I, I, I might've it might'veslipped out.
It might've slipped out.
Kate (27:10):
We've got so close to eliminating that mantra from our
D meeting this week.
So close,
Thea (27:17):
my head.
Eric (27:18):
Would've been two weeks in a row.
Kate (27:19):
you know, I just can't stand the chanting anymore.
We're trying to start a meetingand just chanting and chanting
and chanting, and then the drumsand the drums start.
And then next thing you know,someone's got the acoustic
guitar and I just.
Matt (27:37):
well, all of these that I've checked so far are
definitely registered
Eric (27:42):
Yup.
Matt (27:43):
within the last few weeks and there's domain privacy on a
lot of them, but the ones thatare.
They're registered to Facebookslash meta.
Thea (27:56):
I can't believe that.
I thought I had gotten ahead of,it
Matt (28:01):
Great.
Thea (28:02):
feels like a personal attack on myself and my
creativity and
Matt (28:08):
Well, look, this isn't, this isn't the final
Eric (28:11):
yeah, we can send red lines.
Matt (28:13):
Yeah.
Kate (28:14):
Yeah.
Eric (28:15):
R zero remaining hours this month.
Kate (28:20):
Oh, I can just do the red lines.
I have multiple red pens.
Matt (28:25):
I mean, we can at least send back the list that we've
been thinking about and that thetop.
Eric (28:30):
Can we register those domains first?
Kate (28:33):
Good
Matt (28:33):
we should.
We should.
Um, I'm gonna make myself a notefor that.
Kate (28:38):
It will be fine.
We'll do some markups.
We'll shoot around a Google doc.
Uh, John will probably notate abit more.
Um, and, and there'll be fine.
Everything will be fine begreat.
Thea (28:50):
everything will be fine.
Matt (28:52):
All right.
Well, good review everybody.
Um, once our legal hoursrollover, it'll be awesome to
have our lawyers actually take alook at this too.
Kate (29:03):
If you could maybe like really take it to Lars his
schedule and make sure hedoesn't have anything scheduled
them for the first of the month,you know?
Yeah.
That'd be good.
Matt (29:12):
Yeah.
Lars and I are going to have atalk and, um, We're just going
to have more project time forLars and less requirements
gathering
Eric (29:22):
I think David can pick up the slack.
Matt (29:25):
I mean, not in the sense that like he'll try to take our
lawyer out to dinner.
Right.
Okay.
Eric (29:30):
no.
Matt (29:32):
good.
Kate (29:33):
Okay.
Matt (29:34):
Yeah.
Lars should be working withDavid anyway.
They shouldn't, he shouldn't begoing over.
Eric (29:37):
David does intermittent fasting, so he doesn't eat
dinner anyway.
Matt (29:42):
Oh,
Kate (29:42):
Yeah, there have been like a few HR complaints, uh,
respectively.
Each other, so we shouldprobably talk another day about
like maybe reassigning some ofthe PM, uh, dev teams.
Matt (29:56):
yeah, I guess.
Eric (29:57):
take a look at it,
Kate (29:58):
Yeah.
Matt (29:59):
I'm open, although I'm very much like an odd couple,
Eric (30:02):
it out.
Matt (30:03):
I'm a believer.
Yeah.
You know, it's, it's thattension that makes you reach
creative solutions.
Kate (30:08):
So they basically need marriage
Thea (30:11):
I was just, yeah.
Or they should just let theirtension continue and drive each
other towards success.
Kate (30:21):
Okay, well, this is this'll definitely come back up.
Uh, but I think today we've kindof got to the end of our agenda
successfully in a way I willstop the recording.
Ben (30:37):
This meeting has ended.
To subscribe to this startup isbeing recorded.
Go to the podcast player of yourchoice and tap a button that
likely says subscribe.
More content is on Twitter atstartup recorded, or shoot us an
email with ideas, feedback, oryour personal startup horror
story.
At hello@startuprecorded.com.
Kate is played by ValerieGarrison.
(30:57):
Valerie is a health tech productmanager and regularly plays with
the improv troupe letters tochicken online.
You can find her on Twitter atthevalgarris eric has played by
Barry wright Barry is a productmanager at Spotify and a
co-founder of Highwire Improv.
Find him by his name onLinkedIn, where he holds regular
office hours or athighwireimprov.com.
Matt is played by MartinMcguire.
(31:19):
Marty is a senior web engineerand improviser in New York city.
You can find Marty's comedy codeand cats on his website at M M G
dot R E.
Calathea is played by RobynStegman.
Robyn is a digital campaignmanager for ocean Conservancy
and is a comedian mostly foundat Highwire improv.
You can find her on all thesocial medias.
And she does mean all at rsteggythank you for listening.
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