Episode Transcript
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Bri (00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back
to Those Girls With Arthritis.
This is Bri and I'mhere with Becca.
Beka (00:08):
Hey y'all Bri.
I always feel like I'm like,we're back, but we are,
we took a little bit ofa breaky break, you know?
Bri (00:17):
It's been so long that
I almost just forgot how
to like intro the podcast.
I was like, wait, what do I say?
Beka (00:23):
And I was also thinking,
I feel like it's been forever
since we recorded, butit's only been, I think we
only missed a couple weeks.
Like, it's not likewe missed a full
Bri (00:33):
month, do you
know what I mean?
Yeah, no, I know.
It feels like we've beengone for a while, but we did,
everyone was like, oh, youhaven't posted in so long.
And I was like, well, wehad two episodes in April,
like, yeah, we, we really,we had two episodes.
I mean.
Like, we usually have threeor four, but we did have two,
and one of them was WarriorWednesday, and we, like, had
(00:55):
recorded that one a littlebit earlier in the month, so
I think that's why it feelslike we haven't recorded
in a while, too, but, yeah.
Beka (01:04):
Maybe.
We're back.
I also, we are backand better than ever.
Are we?
Bri (01:10):
Are we?
Beka (01:11):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Bri (01:14):
Okay, well Now that we've
done our awkward intro, we'll
do our highs and lows forthe last few weeks, I guess.
I know like thismonth was crazy.
Yes.
So many good things inApril which has led to, I'm
(01:35):
currently flaring right now.
I, it's like very weird.
I feel like a lot of Spoonies Iknow, arthritis warriors I know,
are flaring right now which issucky, but April was, So busy.
I went to Vegas for work.
And then we had soireeby the bay here in Tampa
(01:56):
which was super successful.
We ended up raising over ahundred thousand dollars,
which was way above our goal.
So much FOMO.
I know we missed you.
But it was so much fun.
I had to have, got to have likemy whole family there, bunch
of friends, things like that.
So that was super fun.
Max's parents were herevisiting for soiree by
(02:18):
the bay and then stayedfor a few days after that.
So I had that.
Then the next weekend, I sawKenny Chesney in concert.
So busy.
Like, so exhausted.
And then, yeah.
I mean, just like littlethings here and there.
But April was jam packed.
So I can't say I'm supersurprised that I'm flaring.
(02:41):
I think I was being alittle cocky in April.
I kept texting Becca andCara, and I was like,
I am feeling so good.
I'm so surprised.
Ha ha ha.
Bye bye.
And then it finally hitlast few days, I've just
been flaring and trying toget back to a good place.
Beka (03:01):
Ugh, no, I totally relate.
I definitely have beenflaring too, and it's been
so weird because I know I wastexting you, I was like, is
this weather related flare?
Like I've been bitching andcomplaining about the last few
months with how cold it is.
And now it's getting warmerand it's been really rainy.
Is this stress relatedflare because work
(03:22):
is insane right now?
Is it I just traveled?
Is that flare?
Like there's so many flareoptions and I just ache.
And I'm not.
Like having headaches withthe flare, which is good.
I'm hoping it doesn't happen.
Cause normally I getreally, really bad migraines
(03:44):
when they flare too.
But my body just aches.
I haven't worked out inlike a week, which is crazy.
Cause I've been onsuch a good routine.
So I think I'm goingto make that my low.
I feel like I kind ofmessed up my routine.
And my trainers, like ona cruise, like how dare
he go on a cruise when heneeds to be training me?
(04:04):
No, just kidding.
But I feel like I reallyneed to make it a habit and
hold myself accountable.
And I traveled for a few daysand was very treat yourself and
I can have French fries and Ican drink five beers at which
I'm not done in a long time.
So hopefully get backon a good routine.
(04:26):
But my high was definitelygoing to Florida.
Really got me have tolike sing Florida now
because of Taylor, but.
Got to celebrate one of mybest friends is having a baby.
So that was exciting.
And then I got to meet one ofmy other best friends babies,
which was really amazing.
It's just all the baby lovegot to see you and book
(04:49):
club, which was so fun.
Cause we've been doinga virtual book club the
past couple of months.
So super excited.
I was able to bethere in person.
And the rest of April, Iknow one of my other best
friends is getting married.
So I got to host a shower.
I got to go to the masters,which was really cool.
I basically bullied my dad intotaking me cause he won tickets.
(05:11):
So I just feel like.
It's been a rollercoaster,just person personally and
professionally, friends, family,work, everything has been crazy
and I cannot believe it's may.
Bri (05:25):
I know this year's flying.
It's nuts.
So, so nuts.
But there's been a lot of,like we were saying, just a lot
of exciting things going on.
And I guess in the middleof all of this, while we're
trying to catch up with life,we're trying to read 500
page books for book club.
(05:45):
Thanks, Kara.
600 pages, Kara.
And in the middle of that,Taylor Swift comes out with
The Tortured Poets Department,and the Tortured Poets
Department Anthology, soit was like a total album,
31 songs, and I feel likeI haven't even listened to
them all, but I have, butlike, I feel like I haven't
(06:08):
in my soul so, I feel that.
I feel that it kind ofinspired today's episode.
I guess.
Becca and I are both have beenTaylor Swift fans, like our
whole lives went to errorstowards that the whole thing.
We're too old to stay upat midnight for like the
first time in our lives.
I
Beka (06:28):
made it to 1120.
And I was like, I'm gonna justrest my eyes and fell asleep
and I was like, Dang it.
I was So close.
But then I was thinkingif I made it to midnight,
you still have to listento the full album.
Bri (06:44):
Literally.
I'd still like, I stayed up.
I was actually up till midnight.
I'm just like anight owl anyway.
So I'm going to stay upand I listened to like, I
think I listened to Florida.
I think I listened to,but daddy, I love him.
That might've been it.
I like listened to two.
And then I went to bed becauseI was like, I have a 9am
meeting and I cannot do this.
Beka (07:05):
Yeah.
Oh
Bri (07:06):
my God.
I know.
But yeah, anyway, so I'msure y'all have seen all
the memes all the thingswith tortured poets.
So this week's episode is thetortured spoonies department.
And we found a lot ofrelatable lyrics And like,
I don't know, like thingsin some of the Taylor
(07:28):
songs from this new album.
So we wanted to share just afew of them and then hopefully
hear from some of you guysin the coming weeks, what
lyrics you guys relate to.
Beka (07:40):
Yes, so I'll go first.
I immediately, as soon asI heard the Florida song, I
thought about you and me and howwe kind of escaped a little bit
to Florida after high school.
And that whole song istalking about like, Escaping
(08:03):
of Florida and reinventingyourself and kind of leaving
the past behind, etc.
And I totally feel likethat might be a personal one
that relates to us and notnecessarily chronic illnesses
in general, but I definitelyfeel that song relates.
Bri (08:20):
For real.
And I, it's not what I wasexpecting from that song at all.
No.
Like I was not expectinglike Taylor Swift
escaping to Florida, likefrolicking with Florence.
Like I was not expecting.
When I first
Beka (08:36):
heard it, I hated it.
I hated the song.
I was like, this is so lame.
This is awful.
But then when I startedreally listening to the
lyrics, I was like, Oh,
Bri (08:47):
Yeah, I think we just like
all I'll think like so much
of the talk around that songwas that it was going to be
because that was like the timeof, okay, I don't want to get
too swifty on this episode,but we expect to write about
the Tampa show because that'swhen the breakup happened.
Right.
I thought it wasgonna be like a sad.
Or maybe I don't know.
I don't know what I wasexpecting, but it was not that
(09:08):
and I really like the songnow and I didn't even think
about the connection that youmade Becca for this episode
about us, but it's so true.
Because like truly like camedown to college here because
of the weather because allthe things because like
partially because nobody knew.
(09:29):
my history with myarthritis, chronic illness.
I went through in highschool with all of it.
So it was like anescape for sure.
Beka (09:40):
Yeah, so that just
as soon as just I need to
forget so take me to Florida.
It was just yeah, I Immediately
Bri (09:47):
thought of that.
So yeah, it's a bop.
I need I need I still needto get it on vinyl And I
feel like I'm gonna blastthat one So the next one,
maybe the most obvious one.
And when I first heard it,I was just like, jaw on the
ground, like loved this bop.
But it's, I can do it with abroken heart, but it's also
(10:10):
like, I sent, I texted like myfamily and I was like me bopping
to like Taylor Swift's misery.
And it was like that littlegif of the girl, like dancing.
You feel Like, you almostfeel bad, like what
she's saying in the song.
It was, it says, causeI'm a real tough kid.
I can handle my shit.
(10:31):
They said, baby, got tofake it till you make it.
And I did.
Lights, camera, bitch, smile.
Even when you want to die.
That's like the jets.
And that's the part thatlike, I feel like so many
of us probably have screamedin our car in the last week.
Cause it's just like, butthen it's still like a pop
tune and you're like, Yeah.
Beka (10:49):
Yes.
Especially like, everyone hasthose moments when they're
like, you know, faking ittill you make it, you're
smiling, but then also justlike, yeah, I am a tough kid
and I can't handle my shit.
You know, like when Iheard that, I was like,
yes, I can relate to that.
Like you kids are not tough.
(11:11):
I'm tough.
You know,
Bri (11:13):
I feel like so many people
can probably relate to this
song in different ways, but
Beka (11:17):
yeah,
Bri (11:18):
it did just
like really hit home.
Like even like, I'ma real tough kid.
Like I was diagnosedwhen I was a kid.
Yep.
And now I'm like here and inlike the song, you can like
hear her on the stage andlet's say something about
like stilettos for miles.
And I'm like, okay, this isliterally like, as an adult
now it was kind of how, youknow, I thought about it.
(11:42):
Related to me because I'm not apop star on Aristore stage, but
Beka (11:47):
right
Bri (11:47):
just live in my life
Beka (11:49):
And even like I'm looking
at the lyrics now, too, and
it's like breaking down I hitthe floor all the pieces of
me shattered as the crowd waschanting more like sometimes
like I feel like that likesometimes I want to break down
and I don't want to do anything.
I'm flaring bad and I'm havingeveryone around me trying to
like cheer me on and tell meyou're going to feel better.
(12:09):
You're going to be okay.
And you know, it's just likeshe keeps pushing through
even with a broken heart.
So it's even like with thischronic illness, we keep
pushing through and keepdoing what we need to do.
Bri (12:22):
Yeah.
Thank you for pullingup the lyrics.
That was the other part of thesong that I was like, oh yeah.
And so much of thetime I feel like.
The crowd was chanting more.
Yeah.
It's not even other peoplechanting more, some of Right.
It is like myself, like tellingmyself to keep going more's.
So like that's, that's justpersonally, but I kind of like
(12:44):
thought about it that way too.
Beka (12:46):
Yeah.
Bri (12:47):
Even if it's like the
crowd, like people like
the thoughts in your head,like something like that.
I don't know.
I've, I've said time and timeagain, this is like, this
album is so different to me.
It's the album Ineed to sit down.
I still need to.
Yes.
I haven't had time.
Sit down with a journal, abottle of wine, and this album.
Yes.
And like deep dive it.
With the lyrics.
(13:08):
Because that's hard too for me.
That's
Beka (13:11):
the biggest thing.
Yeah.
Is the lyrics.
Bri (13:13):
I listen on Spotify
and the first few days
Spotify didn't have thelyrics so I was like pulling
them up on like azlyrics.
com.
Yeah, trying to like understandbecause it's literally like,
I feel like I'm back in likemy AP English class, but
Beka (13:31):
yeah,
God, I don't feel like that,
but I get what you mean,just like digesting it all.
And I totally feel like me andmy time in my life right now.
I'm like married withmy dogs talking about
starting a family soon.
I'm in such a differentplace than I would have
been if I was in highschool and this came out.
Bri (13:53):
Yeah, for sure.
Oh yeah.
I was talking to somebody, Iwas actually talking to somebody
about that a few weeks ago.
They're like, yeah, mydaughter's so excited
for tortured poet.
She's never had a boyfriend.
So I don't know.
Like, what?
What she's thinking about whenshe's listening to these songs.
Yeah.
And I was like, that's sofunny, but it was like, so
me, it was so me with like thefirst few Taylor Swift albums.
(14:14):
You know what I mean?
Beka (14:15):
Oh yeah.
Like we're singing it.
Like I'm not having boyssneak in and out of my house
at like elementary school,middle school, you know,
but the last song that I.
I was thinking is who'safraid of little old me.
I just love that song everytime I listen to it I feel like
I get something different outof it But one lyric that really
(14:39):
stuck out to me that I feel likerelates to the chronic illness
world is you wouldn't last anhour in the Salem where they
raised me and I just feel thatWhen I talk about my chronic
illness or explain to peoplelike I truly This I don't
(15:01):
even care if this sounds bad.
This is about sound bad.
We might have to cut thisout You're gonna have to
tell me I don't think someother people could handle it.
No, that's not bad.
I can.
Okay, I was going tosay, I'm like, I don't
even, I don't feel like Ihandle my chronic illness.
Like, I'm not like theperfect golden child of
this is how you should act.
This is how you should feel.
(15:22):
This is how you shouldtalk to your doctors or
your medicine and whatever.
But there's some people thatjust like, I don't think even
if, like, you walk a mile inmy shoes or whatever cliche
you want to say, I don'tthink they'll ever get it.
I really don't.
Bri (15:36):
No, they won't.
And I, like, truly thinkthat, like, everybody's
given, like, we all havethese paths or whatever.
And, like, I probably,some of these people are
posting, like, legit thingsthey went through as kids.
I'm, like, I probably couldn'thave gone through that.
I have my own Thing that Iwent through that you probably
couldn't have gone throughbut I could go through that.
Exactly.
No one
Beka (15:55):
can but there's another
part of the song too That's
kind of near that Lyric ohman now I have to look it up.
I thought I wrote itdown hold on one second.
Oh, the, I'm always drunkon my own tears, isn't
that what they all said?
And I'm just like, oh my god,cause it's just, I don't know.
(16:19):
I just, I just feel like thatjust hit me different, like.
Yeah.
Cause sometimes I hold inmy own tears and not that I
drown myself in my emotionsor in my feelings, but
it's like I don't want to.
Others to have to clean upmy tears or others that have
(16:39):
to feel like, you know, orthey might feel like they
caused my tears, whatever.
Like I literally likedrink my own tears and
deal with it myself.
Dang.
Bri (16:52):
Becca is going deep
dive into these lyrics.
Beka (16:54):
I don't know those,
but then the other stuff,
I'm just like that,who's afraid a little me.
I'm like, who's goingto come and get it.
What's up?
You know?
So.
It's like John Tay.
Bri (17:08):
Yeah.
We love you
Beka (17:09):
Tay Tay.
These are awesome.
Bri (17:11):
My least favorite part
of that song is when she talks
about them taking out her teethbecause it just stresses me out.
So that's, yeah, that's myonly qualm with this song.
Yeah, I have, yeah, Ididn't get that part.
Beka (17:24):
I
Bri (17:25):
have nightmares that
I'm losing teeth and stuff.
Like it's a stress thing.
So that's the only thing, but.
Beka (17:32):
Oh my God.
No, I don't think everyone canrelate to it in their own way
or their own experience, butthat's just how I personally.
Bri (17:43):
No, I love it.
Beka (17:44):
Took those songs.
Bri (17:45):
Love it.
Love it.
Love it.
Okay.
While we're on the subject oflike pop culture, we wanted to
throw in a few other things.
Because we've been tryingto do like pop culture
episode for a while, but Ifeel like we don't ever have
enough things to talk about.
So.
Yeah.
Portrait Poets was likethe perfect base for this
episode because there'sa lot to talk about.
(18:05):
But then there's like otherthings related to chronic
illness we can talk about.
And I just repeatedmyself like, yeah, I,
Beka (18:12):
when we were, that's okay.
I ditto that we were a littlerusty, but that's okay.
I immediately was thinkingfor other songs when I used to
do my shots and my injectionsand even my infusions or
even blood work I used to putmusic on with my blood work
(18:32):
and sit there and like nodto the guy so he could start
the blood work once my songlike started playing because I
was just so anxious about it.
I feel like I don't talk aboutthis a lot because I, I just
try to find a good routinethat made me not stress out,
Bri (18:50):
you
Beka (18:50):
know, so my go to shot
song, I would shut the door,
sit on the floor and she'stalking about like injections.
Not like, Oh, sorry.
Bri (19:01):
Nope.
You're good.
I was going to say, not
Beka (19:03):
like shot, shot, shot,
shot, shots, not those shots.
Like the needle shotsfor my biologics.
I'm so scared right now aboutwhat you're going to say.
Thanks.
Thanks.
No, don't be scared.
It's not that intense.
It's, it's the climb byMiley Cyrus and I would
play it because it wouldmake me emotional, but it
(19:25):
also made me centered andrealize that, you know, I'm
climbing to better myself.
world.
I don't know.
I just, it would
Bri (19:37):
like,
Beka (19:38):
it would like pump me up,
but I feel funny saying that
that song pumped me up becauseit's not really a pump up song.
It is like a deep, likeemotional, like raw, like
feeling song, but it kindof centered me a little
bit and made me just feellike, okay, this is just
a part of my Journey.
(19:59):
This is not everything.
So I would play thatsong once a week so I
could do my injections.
I love that.
Or my blood work, when I go todo that, or infusions, I would
always try and listen during it.
Bri (20:14):
Okay, so I have a
question though, like, if
you listen to that songnow, is it like, triggering?
Beka (20:21):
Kinda, yes and no,
so I don't do the biologic
injections anymore but, yeah.
I feel like I don't really hearit out and about, but sometimes
it does come on my Spotify.
Yeah.
Like if I listen to my music,like my favorites or whatever
it's called on there, and I likepause for a second and have to
(20:42):
recenter myself, like, where amI, what am I doing right now?
But it's just agreat song overall.
I'm a big Miley fan, so.
Yeah,
Bri (20:51):
no, I love that.
I feel like that's one of thereasons I like when I do my
shot, I'll put music on but Iusually just like shuffle Taylor
Swift or shuffle a certainalbum because I don't want it
to be like attached to one song.
Oh yeah.
Because I don't, I don't know.
Like, that's like mythought process behind it.
Cause I do have a song whereI had a bad experience.
(21:13):
So, Oh God, what was that?
So this one time I was trying totake like this liquid medicine.
I'm just really badwith liquid medicines.
And my husband and I werelike, only like just dating.
He thought it was a good idea.
He's like, all right, I'mgoing to like try to, well,
we weren't just dating.
We were living together,but still like, it was, We
weren't engaged or anything.
(21:35):
And he thought it was a goodidea to put Eye of the Tiger on
and like start like fist pumpingwhile I'm trying to do this.
And like, I wasreally trying so hard.
I was so determined,but then I threw up.
Like, wow.
So just like any time, likehe, like the song comes on,
he's like, remember this song?
I'm like, Oh, no.
(21:56):
And you like
Beka (21:57):
taste
Bri (21:57):
the throat in your mouth.
So that's my bad experience.
But speaking, I guess thatwas like, so I guess a little
bit more related to yours.
I guess I've, I've talkedabout this not on the
podcast before, but I thinkthat's like one of that.
That is the reason that Ilike still love Taylor Swift
(22:19):
so much was because I wasso into her when I was Like,
first going through, like,my diagnoses, first getting
infusions and going to thedoctors and hospitals so much
and it was, like, over an hourdrive there and I would just
put my headphones in and listento Taylor Swift and her songs
(22:40):
were, like, just, like, she'ssuch a good storyteller and I
was personally missing out on somuch of, like, high school and
friends and boys and all thosethings, so, like, I didn't.
like relate, I guess, to whatshe was singing, but I felt
(23:01):
like her storytelling was likegiving something back to me.
So yeah, I will, that'slike something, just another
way I feel like I'm alwaysgoing to be connected to
her and her music, butyeah, that thank you for sharing
us using our podcast as therapy.
(23:25):
So another thing on thetopic of pop culture we're
just been talking recentlyabout how we wish we
could make arthritis cool.
Like.
I saw the video of someof you might follow her.
Her name's Brooke.
She has ALS.
She's like on, it wasviral on TikTok sometimes.
And she made a speechat an ALS event and was
(23:46):
like, Wouldn't it be cool?
Wouldn't it be nice ifwe could make ALS cool?
And it was like a comedy.
set and she was like, like,imagine if a Kardashian got
ALS, like, it would be cool.
Like, we would probably raisea bunch of money, maybe find a
cure, do all of these things.
Obviously, she wasn'tlike, hoping that a
Kardashian gets ALS.
(24:06):
Like, that's very morbid.
That's like a bad thing to say.
But the point behind itwas like, there's so much
power in like, people comingtogether, people like, like
having a spotlight on thesethings and these diseases.
So we're like, Becca andKara and I were texting and
(24:27):
like, we should like, weneed to make ALS or ALS.
We need to make arthritis.
Cool.
And then you remember, like,there's two sides to everything
and like, it is hard to,when there's a spotlight on
somebody with certain diseases.
But yeah, Becca, doyou have anything to
say before I like go?
(24:47):
I feel like this is awkward, but
Beka (24:49):
no, I don't
think it's awkward.
I I was trying tothink of an example.
But there really isn'tlike a standout person to
me that has arthritis thateveryone like commonly knows.
Bri (25:03):
Yeah.
Beka (25:03):
Like I know that, you
know, we've been introduced to
different people at differentconferences, events, et cetera.
You know, there's differentcommercials and all that.
I remember I first startedtaking Enbrel and Phil
Mickelson, the golferstarted taking Enbrel.
So I would.
Tell people like in highschool, like, Oh, I'm
(25:23):
on the same medicine.
Phil Mickelson is, and it was,I don't know why I thought like,
Oh, maybe that'd make me cool.
But it was just kind of like,why are you guys taking that?
You know, it's just, I couldn'tlike really relate to it.
I know you probably get ita lot with Selena and lupus.
(25:43):
So
Bri (25:44):
yeah, that's, it's
like a tough thing.
That's why I like say likethere's two sides to it because
you say lupus, people, Selinahas done out like great job
of getting the word namelupus out there but then
everyone's like, oh, youhave it like Selina has it.
So then like, like she hadto have I think it was a
(26:06):
kidney transplant and like herlupus is different than other
people's lupus and like her,how it affects her is different
than how it affects me.
So like there'sthat side of it too.
And I know like the bigspotlight right now is Christina
Applegate was recently diagnosedwith MS and has been like
(26:28):
raising a lot of awareness.
There's a big spotlighton that, but I'm sure like
there's people out there wholike, there's probably things,
there might be things thatshe's saying that they don't a
hundred percent agree with, ortheir experience is different.
But then everybody looksto that single person.
that they know in air quoteswith that disease and thinks
(26:48):
that everybody's is goingto be just like theirs,
but everybody's experiencesare so individualized
with these diseases.
So it's tough.
It's even hard, like theterm arthritis is so broad.
Like it's arthritis awarenessmonth, but like, we're
going to see a bunch oflike marketing and stuff
(27:09):
for osteoarthritis and we.
Obviously support thatcause, but we're affected
by a totally different typeof arthritis, but it falls
under this huge umbrella.
So it's just like, it's tough.
It's like a tough, likebalance that I guess.
Beka (27:29):
Yeah.
I don't know what the answeris to make arthritis cool.
I wish I did.
And then I wish I could goback in time and tell myself
when I was a kid, when I wasnewly diagnosed what I needed
to do to make arthritis cool.
I don't know if it ever will be.
Bri (27:46):
Anywho, this was our
tortured Spoonies department
pop culture episode.
We talked about a lot.
Hope you gotsomething out of it.
And this week we will puton our Instagram stories,
maybe on Facebook to askingyou guys, which lyrics.
From Taylor Swift,Resignate with You and Your
(28:09):
Chronic Illness Journey.
And we like only talkedabout Torture Poets, but I
feel like there's so manyon all of the albums that
we could have gone into.
But we would be here for likea whole season of the podcast.
So we're not going todo that and turn it
into a Swifty podcast.
But thanks y'all forlistening and we'll talk soon.