February 24, 2025 • 55 mins
Ever wonder if "Cotton-Eyed Joe" is more than just a catchy folk tune? Could it actually be a cryptic tale about a guy—or even an STI? Join us on this whimsical episode where we unravel the hilarious history of this mysterious song, with plenty of tongue-in-cheek speculation and poetic analysis. Prepare to be entertained by quirky historical tidbits and our outrageous interpretations that will leave you seeing this classic song in a completely new light.
Brace yourself for a rollicking ride through the chaotic fun of Creely Adventure Park, a place where youthful misadventures and near-death experiences are all part of the charm. Picture this: teenagers navigating a theme park designed for kids, complete with intimidating toddlers and slides that earn the ominous moniker of "death slides." Our tales of exaggerated fear and immature antics will have you laughing along with our nostalgia-fueled storytelling.
Switching gears, we share some mind-boggling misconceptions and gleefully debunk them, from giraffes being lightning rods to the peculiarities of twin fingerprints. As if that wasn't enough, we whisk you away to Uzbekistan for an inspiring tale of an underdog gymnast who somersaulted her way from circus-inspired dreams to an awe-inspiring Olympic career. With plenty of playful banter and unexpected tangents, this episode is a delightful concoction of humor, curiosity, and the sheer joy of storytelling.
Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
What three words.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And improv the shit out of a story.
Today on Three Word StoryNailed it, a cloud weighs around
a million tons.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You've got a very hungry brain, a tight tie and
you're in trouble.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
My friend, takes us to.
I did not write that down yeah,where did you come from?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
where did you go?
Where did you come from Cotton?
Did you go?
Where did you come fromcotton-eyed dylan?
How are you today?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I'm not sure where you were going with that.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I'm like where did you come from, almost scared,
where did you go?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
and I'm like wow poetry james, how lovely, yeah,
that is poetry.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
It's a beautiful piece of poetry that that's an
origin story.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Eh, it's like, is that not where the what was the?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah?
Yeah, it's an origin story ofwho Cotton-Eyed Joe, of where he
came from, no of what they sayCotton-Eyed Joe is.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But what is he?
No, no, no, it sounds like avery philosophical thing what is
cotton eyed joe?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
what is a cotton eyed joe?
And well, I'm glad, well, I'mglad we're going balls deep into
this because, uh, we've justrecord.
We just recorded our otherpodcast immediately before this
one.
It was, it was a great occasion, it was amazing, uh.
And now we're just going ballsdeep into to cotton eyed joe.
Have you managed to findanything about cotton eyed joe?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
um, so you seem to think it is a so I'll tell you
no, no, no, I yeah have you gotit.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Do you want to explain?
You've got it in front of youplease okay, well, the person
that are for you and thelisteners at home.
Cotton I joe, also known ascotton I joe thanks, wikipedia
and it's a traditional americancountry folk song popular at
various times throughout theunited states and canada,
although today it is mostcommonly associated with the
(02:11):
american south, your favoriteplace, dylan.
The song is most identifiedwith the 1994 rednecks version,
which became popular worldwide.
The song is an instrumentalbanjo and bluegrass fiddle
standard.
But does that tell us where itcomes from?
Uh, what?
Here's the interesting thing,dylan.
It dates back to 1878.
Something about dorothy,something.
(02:33):
Okay, it does that make senseto you?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
yeah, I don't know there was.
It was something about.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
That's where you continue talking okay well, let
tell me if this, if this does ordoesn't sound like poetry to
you no codna joe.
Codna joe, what did make youserve me so fur to take my gal
(03:02):
away from me?
This is how, how it's spelt, bythe way it's spelled
F-U-R-T-E-R.
Take my gal E-R-W-A-Y, f-u-m mefor to take my gal away from me
, and so your whole.
Does that sound beautiful toyou?
(03:24):
Yeah, his eyes was crossed andhis nose was flat and his teeth
(03:44):
was out.
What oof that?
For?
He was tall and he was slim,and so my gal, she followed him.
If it hadn't been for cod night, joe, I'd have been married
(04:04):
long ago.
Does that sound like abeautiful piece of poetry to you
?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
what you wanted.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
No, I actually thought Cod and I might refer to
and this is where the theoriescame from might refer to someone
with cloudy or milky white eyes, possibly due to cataract,
syphilis or trichoma, orblindness because of the
moonshine yeah, that's true yeahit's cotton eye, joe, yeah red
(04:36):
lights all the time to cover thesyphilis I actually thought it
was a lot darker than that, butyou just kind of covered it up
with this beautiful, beautifulbreakdown.
Um or?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
at the end of the day , yes, she was the prettiest
girl to be found anywhere in thecountry road.
Her lips was red could havebeen syphilis and her eyes were
bright and her skin was black,but her teeth were white.
(05:11):
I'd have been married 40 yearago if it hadn't have been for
cotton.
I, joe, I don't know what.
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what that?
means.
And then it goes on to say thatgirl, she sure had all my love
and swore from me she'd nevermove.
But Joe hoodooed her, don't yousee?
And she run off with him toTennessee.
(05:32):
I'd have been married 40 yearsago if it wasn't for fucking
Cotton Eye.
Joe so are we any further orcloser to understanding?
Is Cotton Eye Joe a good guy ora bad guy?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
no, I think either way he would have been married
if it weren't for Cotton-EyedJoe.
What?
I was trying to zero in on.
Is Cotton-Eyed Joe?
Was Cotton-Eyed Joe the personthat was Cotton-Eyed, or is it a
song about the spreading ofsyphilis?
I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Well, I think we can categorically say on this
podcast today it has everythingto do with syphilis.
Uh, I'm not sure.
Well, I think we cancategorically say on this
podcast today it has everythingto do with syphilis.
And now we know, and now, andthe crowd goes wild for us
solving the meaning of cotton Ido.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Well, it's a good segue of um it's, it's.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
It is exactly a great segue into somewhere you
thought you were gonna die,right?
So our three word story today.
So we have gone on what ThreeWords?
And we have found ourselves aplace where we thought we were
going to die, that was going togive us three wonderful words
that we could make a story of.
So, dylan, where did you thinkyou were going to die?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And why the place where I thought I was going to
die was araby gorge in southafrica.
Right, don't get me wrong.
I can tell you the three wordsand you can look up.
But basically it's this ratherlarge gorge in kuzulu natal in
(06:59):
south africa.
Just an altar and um, yeah, Ihonestly, on that day I thought
I was going, I thought I wasgoing to die, but not in the way
that you.
If, let me give a brief storyand then uh and give a bit of
bit of background okay, I'mbasically I'm kind of waiting
for like a.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
It was a peanut allergy or something.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
No, no not quite, but basically, right, you have this
gorge and we ended up goingthere and it was basically
between, uh, going deep seafishing or then doing zip lining
, okay, and wow, what anadventurous choice that was this
was literally the choice and Ibasically said, no, I'll give a
(07:45):
skip to the deep sea fishingbecause I don't do well with
motion sickness.
So I figured, yeah, let me go.
And despite me being scared ofheights, I have done the
ziplining before.
However, I did not know thatthis gorge was nearby because I
actually thought, okay, well,this is fairly flat, like it
(08:06):
might be amongst some trees.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
I did not know there was a so you signed up to the
zit lining.
Before you knew there was somehot gorge action.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
We drove out yeah, because that was fucking rocking
.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, hot, hot, gorge action, gorge action.
If any, uh gorgeous want anymarketing done, then three-word
story james and dylan, we'rehere for you, brought to you by
our big gorge ziplining.
It's free advertisement yes,yeah, okay.
So you reluctantly wentziplining and you didn't
(08:43):
necessarily knew what you wereinto, right?
No?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
no, not at all, and I kind of looked at everything.
I was looking at the lines andI know it's a set of lines kind
of going down.
However, one of them and I meanthis sincerely because it
didn't make sense to me and wegot to, I think, the seventh
line, and it's obviously a rangeof these and I said, well,
(09:09):
where's the next one?
And they kind of show me andit's literally doing a zip line
off of this 300-meter fuckinggorge, right, okay, at that
point I wasn't happy going downthere.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And do you feel safe at this point?
Do you feel I?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
still feel safe, but that's not actually where I
thought I was going to die.
I thought, okay, maybe from aheart attack, but in terms of
safety, no, I still felt rathersafe.
Where I did not feel safe wason the way back up the mountain.
It's hard to zip line upwards,so I've heard.
(09:47):
And I failed miserably because Ididn't want to get on the back
of this pickup truck that nowhas to transport all 12 people
back up this mountain and it's apretty standard pickup truck
and everybody sits at the backlike a bunch of so why don't you
want to go into it?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
what do you mean?
You don't want to go in theback of the pickup truck?
I don't why.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
No, because the road that that guy must drive up this
mountain it.
It fucking was terrifying likehe literally refs this truck up
there and takes angles and turnsthat you probably shouldn't
(10:32):
with people.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
So it's the guy sounds pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
To be honest, it sounds like a pretty dude
handbrake turns up there he'sprobably enjoying himself, but
me being scared of heights andthen also like I'm not attached
to fucking anything really, andwe are bouncing around on the
back of this truck and I'm justthinking there's, there's.
(10:57):
I'm sure this guy has done it afew times before, but the edge
of this.
Just several pickup trucks juston fire down to the bottom, the
fucking edge of the cliff isright there and I I couldn't,
couldn't get myself to to lookbecause it was fucking
terrifying.
So actually on the way back upwas uh was really where I
(11:18):
thought we were going to diebecause this guy so you did get
in the back in the end.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
So you reluctant, you cried, you threw a tantrum, you
like grabbed your penis.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
What I, not what I do .
I wanted to say that what Inormally do, but yeah that was
exactly what I did how did youknow?
I just I know how you.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
You kick off when you don't want to do something, and
it's just the crying.
You drop your trousers, youpull your penis as hard as you
can, uh, and that's just how youget out of it, dylan.
So, but you, you, you went upand out with no dramas.
It was just in your mind.
There was no near misses.
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Well, I feel every turn was a near miss, but no,
that that was.
that was the moment that Ireally thought I was going to
die, the moment that I reallythought I was going to die, the
day actually, um, that didn'tend there, but that was actually
the same day that my um that mysister got engaged, like it was
actually just after we done thewhole zip lining thing.
(12:18):
My, uh, my now brother-in-law,robert, asked me moments after
we just reached the top of themountain, kind of back to where
we started, and he was likelisten, dylan, you mind me
asking your sister to marry?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
me.
I was so close to death that Ifeel like I should do that.
And what was your response?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I was like, well, well, yeah, I think it's, I
think it's great, but what doyou mean now?
And he was like, yeah, thatthat's actually why we're
heading to this rock um outthere, yeah, yeah it's like no
so the marriage the marriagerock.
I don't know if you have youseen I don't think I've shown
you the video but basically youhad to kind of go off the beaten
path to this uh rock that hasthis amazing view of the gorge,
(13:10):
but I still had to kind offucking jump over this.
I don't know, it felt like afucking meter and a half and it
was just, yeah, yeah, you had toclear this Small crevice, small
crevice, yeah, small crevice.
However, if you fall there, youprobably also die.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So it was a double whammy, so you had choices of
places.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
You felt like you were going to die.
It was really an overwhelmingday for me in terms of height.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I bet you slept well that night, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I really did.
I got drunk and then I sleptthat night.
Nice a baby.
But yeah, that day I uh, therewas really a bunch of times
where I thought I might just die.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Uh, but did I die?
No, find out.
Next, on the three word story.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
But did you die?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
no, and and we can confirm he is alive to this day.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Hi guys, Hi and Dylan .
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yes, no, I'm joking.
The crowd is very happy thatyou're alive.
They are ecstatic and for theplaces of near death.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Oh yes, that's why we are here.
What three words did they giveyou Unequipped Somewhere, not
all Unequipped Somewhere,gymnastics?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Wow, that really took me left field, because that
felt like you could have beendescribing where you were.
You're unequipped to deal withthe pick-up In some way.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
And then I just randomly did the gymnastics and
popped the splits, because, whenin doubt, split, split it out.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It's good advice.
Thank you, dylan.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, take that.
I should probably stop that one, I think the listeners for
fuck's sake, shut up, james.
Well, I had a couple of storiesI could have gone down.
I could have gone, you know,very self-gratifying, I nearly
actually died, nearly died, Ifell down a cliff or whatever.
(15:05):
But no one wants to listen tothat.
People want to listen to morepathetic things where I felt
like I was going to die, but Iwasn't really going to die.
So I thought I'd go for one ofthese stories, right?
Well, I'll save the other onesfor another day when I want to
really talk about how radical Iam.
Wrong one.
So we're gonna, I'm gonna takeyou back out to you.
(15:26):
I was roughly 13 years old 12,13.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I was roughly 30 years old.
Yeah, it was yesterday.
Yeah, four weeks ago it wasyesterday.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I missed the toilet and I fell on the uh, the toilet
brush uh, and I know I thoughtit was gonna die.
I fucking believe that andthat's why it looks like I have
a small tail.
It's not.
I know that didn't happen,didn't?
That was?
Uh?
Was uh just a hilarious lie?
Uh, but what actually?
Uh, when I was 13, uh and meand the school, uh, at school
(15:56):
year we would sometimes go aslike a special end of year treat
to a place called creelyadventure park.
Okay now, creely adventure parkjust outside exeter.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Uh was a wondrous name, magical place where geez
james yeah, no, this reallysounds like something out of out
of uh some other british moviethat, uh it's creely adventure
park like it was.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It was a wonderful place and it was.
Most of it was outside, soyou'd go there.
There was a log flume where youare guaranteed to get wet in
every way.
There was like a rocking shipthat would rock you back and
forth.
There was a wonky house thatyou would walk in go karts.
It's kind of it's it's peaknessthat was.
It was a bit shit like oh yeah,I completely.
(16:46):
I kind of get the towers,whatever it was a bit shit, but
it was endearing because it wasa bit shit, right, you could
just walk.
Yeah, they know what they are.
Though, yes, yeah, you know you.
Just you know you're notexpecting much.
So you have a you know arambunctious and wonderful time,
yeah, okay.
So where my near-deathexperience happens in this
particular place is actually inthe indoor play area.
(17:07):
So the indoor play area, notthe log flume, not the log flume
.
That was safe, wet, but safeokay.
So thank you, creely, for yourvery safe log flume.
Now you're not supposed to eatthe fucking plastic balls.
No, no, no, and I wish youwould stop because this gets
getting uncomfortable now.
So, um, no, you're not meant toeat those.
So it was like your.
I don't know if you had likethe kind of soft play places
(17:30):
where you would take as a kidand probably the age of 12, 13,.
We were a little bit too big andtoo old for this, but you know
we're a bunch of school kids,we're going to go there and
cause chaos, right, and thisindoor one was.
It was amazing, right, like itwas multi-layered, very large.
It had an enormous ball pitthat you would just like swanton
(17:50):
bomb in wrestle each other.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
It was the time of your life?
Okay, no, I just wanted to saywere you like yeah, it's all
right.
Were you trying to play it coolbeforehand, or were you
actually like?
Guys, this is yeah, no, I was Ithought I was playing it cool.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Now, the more I'm thinking about it, the more
aroused I'm getting, because itwas a fantastic time, it was top
notch, all right, good.
So me and my friend Matt at thetime, we're running around and
you know, just fooling around,chasing each other, and this
little kid starts to kind oflike, try and play.
And I'm talking like little,we're 12, 12, 13, I, I guess
(18:24):
this kid's probably seven, eight, oh okay all right, so he's
running around, yeah like littlesnotty prick, you know, and
we're like go away, littlesnotty prick, we don't want
anything to do with you, go away.
But he is hell bent on chasingus right like he is just like
I'm decided that I'm comingafter you, fuckers, and for
whatever reason.
It was terrifying because youwould let you go around, like
there was like a dark, like apitch black maze, for example.
(18:45):
You'd go through the maze andthen you'd come out the other
side of the maze, little cuntwas there, you shit yourself and
you'd run back again.
So it was, it was fun, right,it was, it was hilarious.
So you have death slides.
You know what I mean by deathslide?
So death slide is just a slide,that is just a sheer drop, yeah
, yeah.
And then it kind of whooshes atthe bottom.
So there's a it was called theRed Devil Huge, big red death
(19:07):
slide in the middle of this.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I love how everything has names, like in your stories
.
I mean, it's like this one wascalled the Red Devil, this was
the Red Devil.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
It was the third largest drop in the southwest
region of death slides.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, that's kind of how I was seeing it.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah, but this well, fuck you did.
It was really cool.
Uh, this way, it was thelargest death slide I'd ever
seen in my life, and they mayhave ever seen?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
oh okay, I just wanted to say up until the years
of the dubai dominator no, thiswas this was hairy right and if
mistreated, could cause graveinjury.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
So we're running away from said child.
It's terrifying.
We're running away, we'rescared.
I get to the top of the deathslide and the thing is at the
death slide.
You just need to just drop.
Yes, not jump, not jump.
Or be pushed.
So, as I was at the top of theslide, matt came up from behind
me and pushed me outwards, and Iplummeted and slammed at the
(20:08):
bottom like slammed hard, and hesaid that he looked down and
thought I've killed James.
Yeah, now what actually happenedto James?
I mean, I play rugby, someone'sused to be knocked around, but
I did just splat and my armdragged along the plastic, the
skin, so like no long sleeve oranything, yeah, and the inside
skin of my kind of elbow areajust peeled off and ceased to
(20:30):
have skin on it anymore.
So just removed my skin.
I was never really gonna die,no, no, but at the time felt
pretty hairy, yes, and it was.
You know, he just decided fuckit, I need to get away from this
child.
And, james, I will sacrificeyou to Cthulhu.
We'll call the kid Cthulhu thedemon squid face, and you will
(20:51):
die to doing so.
And that for me was as good asa near-death experience.
Now I've kind of clicked aroundwhere I think the red demon
devil, whatever the slide wascalled in there.
Think the red demon devil,whatever the slide was called in
there.
And it is given me examples,gentlemen learning, oh, yeah, so
(21:12):
, and that is roughly, I think,where the red devil was in there
, conveniently Right, so.
So that is where.
That is where I'm going to hostmy, my three word story of
today.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It kind of makes for.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's a combination of words that could make for a
very boring story, but hopefullynot uh, almost certainly will,
then, and whether it's a storyor whether it will be examples
of some gentleman learning, wewill see.
All right.
So, dylan, we will do this time, yes, a game of, uh, rabbit, um
carrot gun.
(21:44):
Yes, yes, but we'll just go one, two, three and then we'll do
the action right, to save anypotential upset from anyone in
the world.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Thank you, yeah, yeah , saves me from looking stupid.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So yeah, we don't want that Dylan, because Michael
can't shoot that himself.
Yeah, so we're gonna go one,two, three shoot, yeah right one
, two, three shoot.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
That's funny.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
One, two three shoot, that's my carrot in your gun
hole.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Oh fuck why why did I get excited?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I was like I'm gonna shoot your carrot, my carrot
goes down your barrel, so I, Iwin, so I'm going to go first.
Oh, that's you, I'm going to gofirst.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Drop it down low with three-word story.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Look, I'm not going to say it's a story.
You know I like to mix.
Uh, my, the way I I performthese stories and last time I
went to a lot of effort.
You know I had to speak to hanszimmer, I had to do record
music.
We have to get a whole band inhere, so you remember you did do
.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You did no story.
I did the opposite this timeokay.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
so what I've done, what I've prepared, is some
examples of gentleman learning.
So what?
That's what we're going to haveright now.
So I have a list of facts, allright, some of these facts will
be fact, oh, okay, some of thesefacts will not be facts, and
it's for you, gentlemen, gentleman, to decipher between what is
(23:13):
learning and what is examplesof not learning.
Okay, and I need you to, I needyou to work through it right
for the listeners at home.
They need to see an insightinto the enigma that is your
brain.
Oh, so, god, help us all.
Who knows what?
Speaker 2 (23:29):
we will see, the empty space that is just a, just
a dripping noise, just adripping noise in a cave sound.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
So we need to know what you're thinking, where
you're going, and then I need todecisive this is fact or not
fact the beach.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Okay, after discussing my, my train of
thought yeah, yeah, well, where?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
you're going with it.
You know, did you actually knowthis?
Or you know, did you do somescientific research?
Or were you touching yourselfonce you accidentally clicked
the wrong tab but you were like,oh shit, you know this, know,
this was this.
You know, I don't know them, Idon't know, but judging by the
blister on your hand, who knows?
So we're going to do examplesof gentlemen learning.
So, dylan, the first fact, orno fact, is a cloud weighs
(24:15):
around a million tons.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah, what about it?
Yes, a fact I can click throughthese pretty soon.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Listen, if there's ever something, I can fail a
test with blistering speed.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I can imagine the only thing you can do a
blistering speed, just fail testdylan, you walked in and you
failed immediately.
That's incredible.
Well done without any thought.
Yeah, so a cloud weighs amillion tons.
Now how would a cloud sit inthe sky weighing a million tons?
Dylan?
That sounds, that soundsridiculous.
No, sounds ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
No, yeah, well, again it's.
So let me start with clouds andrain.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Oh, okay, Do you see where I'm going with this?
I'm not a clown.
No me neither.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
No, I'm not entirely sure, but I know I mean it rains
from the clouds.
It must be heavy.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
That's a nice one.
It's a good train of thought.
It's a good train of thought.
But a million tons, Dylan, andthey're just sat up there in the
sky drifting around.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Come on A million tons, a million tons, a million
tons, maybe, but then yet, yetagain, you also won't leave.
It's either fact or not.
It's not like you'll take theamount of a million tons and it
was actually just, uh, half amillion tons.
And now you were like, yeah,maybe maybe we'll try and catch
(25:52):
them out that way.
No, no, we're not.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
We're not going to be , we're not going to play
semantics we're not gonna playsemantics, we're not gonna be
like one out, like actually itwas 999,000.
We're not gonna do that rightyeah, I'm gonna stick with it.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
You're gonna go.
True, it's possible.
We're gonna go true andcongratulations.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
And that one was true , nice one, well done, that's
one for one.
So the next one, dylan fact orno fact, giraffes are 30 times
more likely to get hit bylightning than people.
No, no, you're gonna, you'rejust gonna go straight.
No, I'm gonna say yeah, um, bythe way, these giraffes have, um
(26:30):
, they've had, neck surgery, sothey have like a, you know, like
a metal, titanium, how, howwould the odds increase that
much, despite them just onlybeing I mean, that's a little
bit higher I remember a littlebit higher yeah yeah like I'm
being serious.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I've seen enough giraffes in my life all right,
sure?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
no, I'm being serious okay, fine so you don't think a
giraffe's neck is 30 timestaller than our neck despite
that, the neck size doesn'tmatter no right no, uh it's,
it's just the sheer height ofwhatever this fucking thing is.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
So, whether it's, why don't the trees then get uh
stroken struck?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
by stroking trees.
Yeah, stroking fucking trees,why?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
aren't the trees getting stroken?
Yeah, so it's not like it aimsfor something with a heartbeat,
and just because this thing istaller than we are, it must by
default hit that.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
So so you are cat?
I mean, you would seem quiteaggressive on this.
Do you like giraffes?
How would you, how would youknow?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
no, you know it's not particularly the, the giraffes.
I'm just thinking of thestories, because I grew up quite
scared of lightning and I was Iremember that because we have
pretty severe thunderstorms backhome and I just remember
thinking.
My chain of thought was please,fucking strike the house,
(27:48):
please where we are now, so thatI know it doesn't get strike
there again.
I remember thinking this when Iwas smaller and then like
another with regards tosomething being taller than I am
and then it having betterchances of getting struck.
I remember running with a groupof people and I remember I
(28:14):
wanted to go home because I canclearly see there's a
thunderstorm approaching, andthis particular gentleman was
like listen, stop being a littlebitch about it.
And I just remember thinkingyou know what?
How old were you?
I was probably about 10, 11.
No, because I remember himbeing relatively harsh.
(28:36):
I still felt like he was harsh,despite me actually being a
little bitch about it.
But him actually saying it, Iwas like listen, you are tall as
shit.
So he was roughly around twometers tall and I just remember
thinking listen, that's fine,odds are you'll get struck first
.
I remember thinking thisTen-year-olds, but this was ten
(28:57):
year old dylan's uh chain ofthought.
But no I as time goes on um.
No, it doesn't increase ordecrease it doesn't increase.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Okay.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, isdylan correct in saying that it
is false that giraffes are 30more times likely to get hit by
lightning?
It is true, they are 30 timesmore likely to be hit than
humans.
Now it's basically just becausethey're taller.
(29:28):
Um, so there are only fivewell-documented fatal lightning
striking on giraffes, but due tothe population of the species,
it makes it more likely thatthey're going to be hit by
lightning.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I didn't take that into account, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
So it's like you've gone caught based on semantics,
yeah, but I can see where youwere coming from and I enjoyed
that trip through memory laneand fuck that guy, yeah, it was
like oh it's gonna thunder andlightning, I'll fucking beat the
lightning out of you.
You little puss, poor little 10year old Dylan.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Um, okay, yeah okay, one all okay you might know a
bit about this.
Anyway, this is kind of in your, in your ballpark um now I
don't know what he was when yousaid to me I'm like, I'm like,
oh shit, dylan, just shut upthat is not it.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Identical twins have the same fingerprints no I don't
know I I really um so couldyour could?
The twins?
I don't know.
Are they identical ornon-identical?
They are identical, okay.
(30:45):
So do you think one couldcommit a murder and the other
one could blame the other?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Based on their fingerprints?
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
So you're thinking that they so everything is
identical, but for some reasontheir fingertips are a little
different?
Yeah, but then yet again.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
James, there's identical is also just a word
they use to say that they've gotenough of each other's genes to
look as close as possible toeach other, but that they don't
look like each other.
Have they been given a?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
percentage, because I've known some people who are
twins and they're like, oh,we're um, like.
We worked with a girl who waswho said that, like she was, her
and her twin were the theclosest, yeah, like 99.8.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
I don don't know with regards to my sisters.
I don't know what thepercentage is, but I mean I can
clearly tell the differencebetween them.
For other people it might besomething different, but when it
comes down to fingerprints itnever came up.
But no, I can't see thatsomething so specific and so
(31:57):
small would be identical.
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, Well, dylan, you are correct, Congratulations
.
The crowd goes wild.
So you can't blame your crimeson your twin.
This is because environmentalfactors, such as during
development in the womb,umbilical cord length, length,
position of the womb and therate of finger growth, impact
your fingerprint.
Who would have thought it?
(32:21):
Now, the next one, dylan, isone I.
I thought that that wouldrelate to you a little bit in
your life.
This one, 100, relates to you.
Your brain is constantly eatingitself.
Yes, so it's just inside yourhead right now it's just chewing
(32:46):
.
That's what's happening rightnow in your brain.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
True or false.
No, what I'm kind of thinkingit may be in the lines of this
is going to sound bizarre.
Yeah, maybe in the sense of itfucking has to.
There's a process, maybe, of itcleaning itself somehow and
maybe it eats something out ofsomething.
Tell me about that process.
How do you?
Speaker 1 (33:07):
think it's working well at this particular moment
it's full food.
It's not particularly great sowhat are you thinking?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
there's like little men in there with like those
brushes that they used, theyused to, is in there, yeah, just
spraying and washing um.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So you think it's eating itself and not eating
itself?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
yeah, but it's eating itself, maybe in a good way, so
it doesn't atrophy away orfucking die, or like it gets a,
gets rid of, uh, old stem cellsor stem cells or fucking some
cells that die in it.
I'm not sure.
But yeah, let's say it's eatingitself then the crowd goes wild
and congratulations the uh butwhy is it?
Yeah, so?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
the process is called phagocytosis, where cells
envelop and consume smallercells or molecules to remove
them from the system.
But don't you worry, dylan,phagocytosis isn't harmful, uh,
and it actually helps preserveyour gray matter, um, except for
in your case where it's toohungry and it's just eating
(34:10):
everything inside and there's aand there's nothing.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Other people have a medulla oblongata.
I just have the meh Meh, youjust have the meh.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
That's all you have.
Okay, last one, Dylan.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Yeah sure.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
So you're two, one up , I think I wasn't really no, me
neither.
Water might not be wet, true,so why might it not be wet?
Why would water not be wet?
When is wet?
Wet, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet,wet, wet, wet, sorry, sorry.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Wet, wet, wet, wet, wet.
It might not be wet, it mightjust feel wet.
So again, it may be just withhow we perceive it, or our brain
maybe just can't comprehend.
I don't know.
This is normally how the factthat you're asking the question
might make me think, might makeme think.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Oh no, I think that.
Do you know what that was, mer?
That's a classic case ofphagocytosis right there.
So, yeah, what are you thinking?
Water is wet, not wet, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet wet.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
No, I don't think water is wet.
I think we just maybeexperience something and we call
it wet.
But, yeah, I'm not entirelysure and I can't really make
that much sense out of it.
But, like I said, I can fail atest pretty fast and even if it
is with my well, dylan, you knowwhat.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
You were on the right wavelength, um, basically,
scientists, fucking nerds, uh,basically define wetness as a
liquid's ability to make contactwith a solid surface.
Nerds, we obviously know it'swhat it feels like.
So, um, you know whether youagree with the nerds uh or not,
that's up to you.
So you were three-way man.
(35:59):
You've absolutely smashed that.
Um, thank you, uh.
Another little, another littleone, uh, that I'll I'll just
give you.
I'm only gonna ask if you thinkthis is true or not.
And this again with the, um,the, the, the brain eating
itself, the, the phagocytosis,and I worry that you may have a
very hungry brain.
Also, wearing a tie can reduceblood flow to the brain by 7.5.
(36:24):
So you've got a very hungrybrain and a very tight tie and
you're in trouble, my friend.
Yeah, and you're in troubletown, you're in trouble town.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
I actually think I might be in trouble because I
wear a lot of ties and, in allhonesty, I I think the the, the
shirt and the neck and the tieratio like yeah, in order to
make the tie look right, I needto tie it tighter, so you're
just asphyxiating yourself.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Yeah, I do wonder why you're just constantly like
red-faced coughing.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Because either I need to shit like constantly or the
tie is too tight and your brainis too hungry.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, congratulations , dylan.
The crowd goes wild for thatincredible, amazing, wonderful
search through the facts there,and that truly was examples of
gentlemen learning Wonderful.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Well, thank you James .
Yeah, that was actually reallyinteresting.
Why am I so surprised?
Fuck you, Drop it down low withthree-word story, Right?
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Dylan.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Alright, let me get to my three words.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Unequipped somewhere, gymnastic yeah, baby, can't
wait to hear how, when, when,once you take this one yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So, um, I go somewhere where someone, someone
was unequipped, yeah, to get tothe level of success that they
ultimately did.
So again, unfortunately,there's a theme going and it's
(38:04):
like a, uh, an origin story, ormaybe a success story, an
underdog story, whatever youwant.
I mean, as I said, before dylan.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Um, we are becoming the place where you can find out
where things came from.
I mean, we opened up with alittle deep dive into cotton eye
joe, uh, where we coulddefinitely say it was related to
syphilis.
And now people know, people getit.
Obviously I'll research thatand maybe if we are so
criminally wrong about that thatwe could uh that you know we
could be immediately cancelled.
(38:32):
So right now I'm just going tothrow in allegedly on that.
Allegedly that it has a syphilis, um, but we may just be naive
and wrong, but this is the placewhere people come to, to learn,
I think, more than anything.
Laugh second or maybe eventhird.
Um, it's probably to learnfirst, marvel at how stupid we
are, second, and then laughthird, yeah, so so don't worry
(38:53):
about it.
If it's an origin story, thenfuck it, drop it down so
somewhere?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
yeah, now, actually looking at it, I think somewhere
is better than nowhere.
What do you think of when youthink nowhere?
Right, so we're goingphilosophical right, so yeah
isn't like in terms, no, ofactual geographic location, like
if you think of nowhere, so Iguess, so it's somewhere is like
(39:21):
that's somewhere to be right,so I'm gonna go somewhere.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Then maybe there's something to do there, maybe
that's where people go yeah,there's nowhere is.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
No, I'm not feeling good about it.
I'm not feeling nowhere is likedesert.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Or I'm not feeling Nowhere is like desert, or I
feel there's, like it's usually,the precursor is usually
buttfuck of yeah, then followedby nowhere, right, like you
don't go the buttfuck ofsomewhere because that's like
well, there's something there.
That's somewhere there, but Iwould say that this is, yeah,
desert, barren land, the insideof your head, for example.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
That's what I would say thanks, thanks for that one.
Where's the crowd laughing onthat one?
There we go.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Um, okay, no so they just really like that one,
really good one.
What is the standing?
Standing, oh, fuck guys, itwasn't that good next time I.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
I get control of the buttons, so sit down, everyone
sit down.
I think we should start doingthat.
We should start rock paperscissors.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
To see who gets control of the buttons.
Okay, well, next week on Three.
Word Story you're just going toconstantly get.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Dylan, they need to make sense, the timing needs to
be there.
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (40:33):
I'm not even listening to it.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
All right, do you want to download Three?
Make sense, the timing needs tobe there, but you have phones
on, you're not even listening toit.
All right.
So where I figured is thisplace is at least somewhere and
not nowhere, right?
So it's not quite in the middleof the desert, or amazon, or
dot com, yeah, dot com, um, butthey are somewhere.
And this level of somewheretakes us to Uzbekistan.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Okay, wow, yeah, so dramatic.
Paul's really emphasized.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yeah, because, honestly, I was in true
Uzbekistan and I needed to lookdown Uzbekistan.
Was it?
No, it was Uzbekistan,Kazakhstan.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
And for the listeners at home, who are thinking never
heard of it and they've notwatched Borat.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Which is also just a neighbouring country, because
Kazakhstan is where Borat's from.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
I'm sure they're all friends, or maybe not.
You tell me.
So, yeah, roughly.
Where is Uzbekistan?
Where can we find those?
Right next to Kazakhstan, nice,thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Just south of Russia, which is a big old place Fondly
known as the Stans, yeah, andthe Stans, a couple of Stans,
(41:55):
but the story originating or thesuccess story, underdog story
that originates from there issomeone who was unequipped for
what they wanted to do.
Now, there was a circus in townin Uzbekistan and the
particular city where thisperson is from.
I Go on, give it a go, give ita go.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
I fucking didn't even write it down you just yeah,
probably too many K's W's Z's.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I'm not even.
I'm going to butcher.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
I would love to hear you give it a go.
Can you find it?
I'll just, I'll just chat someshit, so you know.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Uzbekistan is a wonderful, sparsely populated,
quickly backspace.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Cotton Eye Joe, no bookmark that page, bookmark
that, and I really want to knowwhat city this is, because I'm
sure you're going to eloquentlyput it.
You know an Uzbekistani you arevery fond of.
I'm sure he could teach you.
He speaks Russian, I believe,as well, as well as English.
Extremely well, I'm sure hespeaks about lovely things.
(42:54):
No, no, this one is actuallyreally not difficult.
It's.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Bukhara Huh.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Bukhara, bukhara.
Okay so hopefully I didn't giveaway my guess.
But it's not a guess, it's astory about this person.
Okay, but what I wanted tocompare her story to was, I mean
, we all know kind of SylvesterStallone story where he was kind
of Hollywood and he sold hisscript and he only had $106 in
(43:21):
his bank account but he wantedto star in the movie, like JK
Rowling, Michael Jordan, oprahWinfrey the list goes on and on.
However, this person is maybethe most famous unfamous person.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Okay, all right, might know.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Okay, her story and I , before I give her a name, like
I actually wanted to give her aname away first.
But let me let me kind of delvein.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Such a tease Okay.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
The circus was in town.
This little girl then saw thesetrapeze artists and they
thought, wow, absolutelyfantastic.
And after the show asked listen, how did they kind of get into
this, etc.
Etc.
And they, et cetera, and theysaid, well, gymnastics is where
we started.
And she thought, well, this isamazing.
And she went back to herparents asking listen, is this
(44:25):
something that we could do?
Is this?
And unfortunately, in theirvillage there was nothing right.
There was no gymnastics club atthat stage, and at that stage
I'm talking about the, the 70s,yeah, okay, it is tracking yeah,
tracking back that far and umso unequipped and her parents
(44:48):
also not being in a financialposition to drive her around, um
, they kind of had to make dowith what they had.
So, if you don't know, or forthose of you that don't know, uh
, female gymnastics.
You have a beam bar, a vaultand then floor okay, no, I
(45:11):
didn't know.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I didn't know you're such an expert on female
gymnastics.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Well, I should, I should have guessed really after
seeing that blister.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
So I.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I've got three sisters and all three of them to
this day still do gymnastics,autistic gymnastics.
So I, um I had quite a fewcrushes on their friends, don't
worry before.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yeah, let me just get get ahead of that.
I'd love that, by the way,standing up.
Yeah, nothing weird here, guys.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Nothing weird, nothing weird yeah so, um, I I
grew up listening to all right.
So, ladies, and we will nowmove from beam to bar, bar to
floor, floor to fucking vault,to who's this fucking weirdo
telling his words?
why does he keep pointing to hiscrotch every time he says beam
and bar anyway she kind ofreally had to dig deep and go
(46:03):
back to basics because I don'tknow, if you know, it's not the
floor, isn't actually just thefloor, it is basically, uh, and
this apparatus that has a slightmore bounce to it okay, so it's
like a trampoline that makessense, because I did think how
are they not snapping their?
Speaker 1 (46:24):
knees and ankles, yeah, yeah so okay, so it's like
a whole, the whole floor thenis springy.
Yeah, what is it?
How is it?
How does that work?
Speaker 2 (46:31):
yeah, like springs down at the bottom um springs
and sponges.
Basically Sounds like a greatcompany name Springs and sponges
.
Sounds like we went for yourfun day.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Springs and sponges.
Yeah, go down to.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Creeley Springs and sponges.
The children chase you when youget pushed off a slide, yeah,
but no, basically she actuallyused I always want to say the
elements.
So she started practicing onthe actual floor and the actual
grass.
So this has actually been saidin interviews that that's where
(47:06):
she learned and that's how shegot her power, Because she, up
until this day, is quite apowerful female gymnast, because
she can generate I mean so much, I guess plyometric forces or
oomph, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
I think it's a technical term.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Oomph, yeah, so basically doing that on floor
beam.
She literally just found a beamand did a routine on this just
just abby, just a randomuzbekistani beam.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
She was just like I'm fucking all over that uh, bars
that one?
Speaker 2 (47:45):
uh no, there's no joke.
They were bars, though she'dhang around in bars, yeah, just
be spreadies, spreadies, yep,okay, um yeah, bars, basically
just uh started practicing onthem and then uh vault, she
actually used some tires, likeuh car tires, and yeah, used
(48:06):
that to to practice some of herskills.
But now to go into her longlist of achievements.
She's been active on theinternational scene for
gymnastics, like female artisticgymnastics, since 1988.
Right, gee, whiz, and she isalso I read this she's been to
(48:33):
eight Olympic Games.
Eight Olympic Games.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Eight Olympic Games.
So work that out, yeah, as I'mtrying to rapidly and failing.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
What's that?
Every four years?
Speaker 1 (48:44):
32 years.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Yeah, so 32 years 32 years, Nice, nice, nice that she
has been able to qualify forvarious teams, though by the way
over the years, various teams,as in nationalities or within
gymnastics, to qualify forvarious teams.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
though, by the way over the years, various teams as
in various things, or yeahgymnastics within gymnastics,
but for different countries soshe actually could you do that?
Speaker 2 (49:03):
for yeah, yeah well, I mean I'm not sure, but the
reason why it kind of split upand kind of bounced around,
because she initially uhcompeted for the USSR Right, and
then from there on I think yeahso from 93 to 2005,.
It was Uzbekistan, 2006 to 2012, germany and then 2013 to
(49:28):
present.
I did not write that down.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Classic phagocytosis coming out right there, yeah,
but basically this is oksanachusevina, and she is the the
uzbek born gymnast that hasfucking shocked the world
because she was unequippedwithin where she grew up and
kind of, where she's from isreally somewhere, but just a wee
(50:03):
bit better than nowhere, and,yeah, she was an absolute
fantastic gymnast.
So, yeah, well, fuck me.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
I mean, the crowd goes wild for her and they are
standing up and going.
I'm really worried, dylan, thatwe may have actually learned
something today, and that wasvery factual and very
interesting as well well, notall of it was factual, but it
wasn't factual.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Hang on a minute, I was really invested.
Yeah, sorry, I told it in a waythat I thought, yeah, maybe it
wasn't actually, it wasmechanics and it wasn't
Uzbekistan, it was actuallySouth Sudan.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
And she wasn't a woman.
Her name was Jeff and thisactually happened.
No, it didn't happen, I made itup.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
No, so she actually did.
She was.
She had been to eight OlympicGames.
I'm not sure it might be nine,however she is um 49 years old
at this particular so.
So just to give you an idea,she's still a gymnast.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
And just to give you an idea, most professional
female gymnasts retire at theage of like 24 yeah, but like
before they, like they, they getout of puberty, do it for a few
years and then that's kind ofthat now she has managed to stay
relevant for for quite sometime.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
But no, the the where the fakeness of the story
probably comes in is I'm notsure how.
If she actually did gymnasticsjust on the floor or just on the
beam, there's okay.
What was the name?
What was the name?
What was oxana?
Speaker 1 (51:28):
a fucking, what aux?
Speaker 2 (51:30):
as in I'm gonna, I need a jack okay.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Okay, it's's okay.
It's a okay S a N a gymnastright.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
True, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
Um, okay, well, well, yeah, 49 years old, she's five
foot tall.
Um, I'm really like.
So she's served net likedifferent country.
Why Germany?
Speaker 2 (51:50):
I'm not sure how that one.
Yeah, I'm not sure how that one.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Yeah, maybe we don't want to know, so she's gone back
to Uzbekistan.
Oh, so, ussr, uzbekistan,germany back to Uzbekistan.
Which is?
Which is nice?
Yeah, I guess, yeah, um, andshe's, she's still, she's still
flipping.
I mean, what a quality humanbeing.
I mean, hats off to Oksana.
(52:14):
Thank you very much for yourtime.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
And then I kind of wanted to say, well, look, I
mean I actually think she mightbe the most famous person.
But then I googled other famousUzbeks and the yeah, did you
get anyone?
Good?
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Nope, our friend Fails on there.
He does real estate in Dubai.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
Dubai he could be.
Maybe that's why he's in Dubai.
Maybe he's too famous inUzbekistan.
Yeah, I mean, she deserves tobe up there for the most famous.
I would say yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I don't know.
Do you know Amir Timur?
Speaker 1 (52:49):
no.
What does he do in that case?
Speaker 2 (52:50):
no, does he do gymnastics no, I'm just going as
celebrities of uzbekistan isliterally the uh, the title of
the article that I'm now goinginto, and, um, I'll also just uh
okay, well, she's got loads.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
She's got golds in world championships, gold in
olympics, gold in asia games soI actually think j yeah, we
actually learned something.
Fuck, I don't know how to feelnow I feel I feel a bit weird.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
Um where's the comedy ?
Where's the bullshit?
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Where's the?
Where's the deliciousphagocytosis that usually spurs
you on with some ums and ahs, Uh, uh, but well, I mean, the
bombshell to end on, I guess, iswe've all learned something.
Oh shit, this feels terrible.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
We will change this.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
Well, the next episode.
Let's do something that we willdefinitely not learn something.
Maybe we'll make that pact.
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
I don't even know what we should.
We'll steer away from whateverhappened this episode.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
Yeah, maybe we should just make it more crass again.
I don't know, find somewhere.
Find somewhere where you shityourself and then, and then
we'll do that, but I don't thinkI've done that.
To be fair, that's not a verygood one.
Uh, find somewhere where, ifyou were going to uh clear a
land and and move into it, no,that's not a good one, I just
(54:16):
made that political.
We don't want that one either.
If you were going to make atheme park based on you Dylan
Land, me, james Land where wouldit be?
And then you also need to comeup with exactly what does this
look like?
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Yeah, what's the theme?
What does it look like?
Walk us through it.
What's?
Yeah, what's?
What's the theme?
What?
What does it look like?
Walk us through it.
What's the idea?
What's the theme?
Speaker 1 (54:37):
exactly, and and the three words needs to be on like
the key right.
So for me I'm gonna obviouslyreplicate the red devil slide
from where I nearly died as ayoung age and okay, so take us
through memory lane, exactlymemory lane so we're gonna,
we're gonna find our three-wordstory from the place where we're
gonna to have our own themepark and we're going to what
that theme park is.
Um, I tell you what, fuck it.
The three-word story needs tobe about the theme park some way
(55:02):
you need to relate it to thetheme park.
Yeah, I'm gonna add an extralayer of difficulty and that
should then prevent it frombeing too informational and too
factual, um which I'm scared we,we can't really carry on that
train at all because we'restupid, which was point two of
why people tune in.
Till then Dylan, till then.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Three-word story, all right.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
Thank you for listening to this week's
three-word story.
If you would like to get intouch with James and Dylan, then
please email us atthe3wordstory at gmailcom.
Send your reviews, negative orpositive, or even your three
words, and we'll read them outon air.
See you next week.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Drop a download with three-word story.
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
What three words.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And improv the shit out of a story.
Today on Three Word StoryNailed it, a cloud weighs around
a million tons.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
You've got a very hungry brain, a tight tie and
you're in trouble.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
My friend, takes us to.
I did not write that down yeah,where did you come from?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
where did you go?
Where did you come from Cotton?
Did you go?
Where did you come fromcotton-eyed dylan?
How are you today?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
I'm not sure where you were going with that.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I'm like where did you come from, almost scared,
where did you go?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
and I'm like wow poetry james, how lovely, yeah,
that is poetry.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
It's a beautiful piece of poetry that that's an
origin story.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Eh, it's like, is that not where the what was the?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah?
Yeah, it's an origin story ofwho Cotton-Eyed Joe, of where he
came from, no of what they sayCotton-Eyed Joe is.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But what is he?
No, no, no, it sounds like avery philosophical thing what is
cotton eyed joe?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
what is a cotton eyed joe?
And well, I'm glad, well, I'mglad we're going balls deep into
this because, uh, we've justrecord.
We just recorded our otherpodcast immediately before this
one.
It was, it was a great occasion, it was amazing, uh.
And now we're just going ballsdeep into to cotton eyed joe.
Have you managed to findanything about cotton eyed joe?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
um, so you seem to think it is a so I'll tell you
no, no, no, I yeah have you gotit.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Do you want to explain?
You've got it in front of youplease okay, well, the person
that are for you and thelisteners at home.
Cotton I joe, also known ascotton I joe thanks, wikipedia
and it's a traditional americancountry folk song popular at
various times throughout theunited states and canada,
although today it is mostcommonly associated with the
(02:11):
american south, your favoriteplace, dylan.
The song is most identifiedwith the 1994 rednecks version,
which became popular worldwide.
The song is an instrumentalbanjo and bluegrass fiddle
standard.
But does that tell us where itcomes from?
Uh, what?
Here's the interesting thing,dylan.
It dates back to 1878.
Something about dorothy,something.
(02:33):
Okay, it does that make senseto you?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
yeah, I don't know there was.
It was something about.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
That's where you continue talking okay well, let
tell me if this, if this does ordoesn't sound like poetry to
you no codna joe.
Codna joe, what did make youserve me so fur to take my gal
(03:02):
away from me?
This is how, how it's spelt, bythe way it's spelled
F-U-R-T-E-R.
Take my gal E-R-W-A-Y, f-u-m mefor to take my gal away from me
, and so your whole.
Does that sound beautiful toyou?
(03:24):
Yeah, his eyes was crossed andhis nose was flat and his teeth
(03:44):
was out.
What oof that?
For?
He was tall and he was slim,and so my gal, she followed him.
If it hadn't been for cod night, joe, I'd have been married
(04:04):
long ago.
Does that sound like abeautiful piece of poetry to you
?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
what you wanted.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
No, I actually thought Cod and I might refer to
and this is where the theoriescame from might refer to someone
with cloudy or milky white eyes, possibly due to cataract,
syphilis or trichoma, orblindness because of the
moonshine yeah, that's true yeahit's cotton eye, joe, yeah red
(04:36):
lights all the time to cover thesyphilis I actually thought it
was a lot darker than that, butyou just kind of covered it up
with this beautiful, beautifulbreakdown.
Um or?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
at the end of the day , yes, she was the prettiest
girl to be found anywhere in thecountry road.
Her lips was red could havebeen syphilis and her eyes were
bright and her skin was black,but her teeth were white.
(05:11):
I'd have been married 40 yearago if it hadn't have been for
cotton.
I, joe, I don't know what.
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what that?
means.
And then it goes on to say thatgirl, she sure had all my love
and swore from me she'd nevermove.
But Joe hoodooed her, don't yousee?
And she run off with him toTennessee.
(05:32):
I'd have been married 40 yearsago if it wasn't for fucking
Cotton Eye.
Joe so are we any further orcloser to understanding?
Is Cotton Eye Joe a good guy ora bad guy?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
no, I think either way he would have been married
if it weren't for Cotton-EyedJoe.
What?
I was trying to zero in on.
Is Cotton-Eyed Joe?
Was Cotton-Eyed Joe the personthat was Cotton-Eyed, or is it a
song about the spreading ofsyphilis?
I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Well, I think we can categorically say on this
podcast today it has everythingto do with syphilis.
Uh, I'm not sure.
Well, I think we cancategorically say on this
podcast today it has everythingto do with syphilis.
And now we know, and now, andthe crowd goes wild for us
solving the meaning of cotton Ido.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Well, it's a good segue of um it's, it's.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
It is exactly a great segue into somewhere you
thought you were gonna die,right?
So our three word story today.
So we have gone on what ThreeWords?
And we have found ourselves aplace where we thought we were
going to die, that was going togive us three wonderful words
that we could make a story of.
So, dylan, where did you thinkyou were going to die?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And why the place where I thought I was going to
die was araby gorge in southafrica.
Right, don't get me wrong.
I can tell you the three wordsand you can look up.
But basically it's this ratherlarge gorge in kuzulu natal in
(06:59):
south africa.
Just an altar and um, yeah, Ihonestly, on that day I thought
I was going, I thought I wasgoing to die, but not in the way
that you.
If, let me give a brief storyand then uh and give a bit of
bit of background okay, I'mbasically I'm kind of waiting
for like a.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
It was a peanut allergy or something.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
No, no not quite, but basically, right, you have this
gorge and we ended up goingthere and it was basically
between, uh, going deep seafishing or then doing zip lining
, okay, and wow, what anadventurous choice that was this
was literally the choice and Ibasically said, no, I'll give a
(07:45):
skip to the deep sea fishingbecause I don't do well with
motion sickness.
So I figured, yeah, let me go.
And despite me being scared ofheights, I have done the
ziplining before.
However, I did not know thatthis gorge was nearby because I
actually thought, okay, well,this is fairly flat, like it
(08:06):
might be amongst some trees.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
I did not know there was a so you signed up to the
zit lining.
Before you knew there was somehot gorge action.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
We drove out yeah, because that was fucking rocking
.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, hot, hot, gorge action, gorge action.
If any, uh gorgeous want anymarketing done, then three-word
story james and dylan, we'rehere for you, brought to you by
our big gorge ziplining.
It's free advertisement yes,yeah, okay.
So you reluctantly wentziplining and you didn't
(08:43):
necessarily knew what you wereinto, right?
No?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
no, not at all, and I kind of looked at everything.
I was looking at the lines andI know it's a set of lines kind
of going down.
However, one of them and I meanthis sincerely because it
didn't make sense to me and wegot to, I think, the seventh
line, and it's obviously a rangeof these and I said, well,
(09:09):
where's the next one?
And they kind of show me andit's literally doing a zip line
off of this 300-meter fuckinggorge, right, okay, at that
point I wasn't happy going downthere.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And do you feel safe at this point?
Do you feel I?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
still feel safe, but that's not actually where I
thought I was going to die.
I thought, okay, maybe from aheart attack, but in terms of
safety, no, I still felt rathersafe.
Where I did not feel safe wason the way back up the mountain.
It's hard to zip line upwards,so I've heard.
(09:47):
And I failed miserably because Ididn't want to get on the back
of this pickup truck that nowhas to transport all 12 people
back up this mountain and it's apretty standard pickup truck
and everybody sits at the backlike a bunch of so why don't you
want to go into it?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
what do you mean?
You don't want to go in theback of the pickup truck?
I don't why.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
No, because the road that that guy must drive up this
mountain it.
It fucking was terrifying likehe literally refs this truck up
there and takes angles and turnsthat you probably shouldn't
(10:32):
with people.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
So it's the guy sounds pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
To be honest, it sounds like a pretty dude
handbrake turns up there he'sprobably enjoying himself, but
me being scared of heights andthen also like I'm not attached
to fucking anything really, andwe are bouncing around on the
back of this truck and I'm justthinking there's, there's.
(10:57):
I'm sure this guy has done it afew times before, but the edge
of this.
Just several pickup trucks juston fire down to the bottom, the
fucking edge of the cliff isright there and I I couldn't,
couldn't get myself to to lookbecause it was fucking
terrifying.
So actually on the way back upwas uh was really where I
(11:18):
thought we were going to diebecause this guy so you did get
in the back in the end.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
So you reluctant, you cried, you threw a tantrum, you
like grabbed your penis.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
What I, not what I do .
I wanted to say that what Inormally do, but yeah that was
exactly what I did how did youknow?
I just I know how you.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
You kick off when you don't want to do something, and
it's just the crying.
You drop your trousers, youpull your penis as hard as you
can, uh, and that's just how youget out of it, dylan.
So, but you, you, you went upand out with no dramas.
It was just in your mind.
There was no near misses.
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Well, I feel every turn was a near miss, but no,
that that was.
that was the moment that Ireally thought I was going to
die, the moment that I reallythought I was going to die, the
day actually, um, that didn'tend there, but that was actually
the same day that my um that mysister got engaged, like it was
actually just after we done thewhole zip lining thing.
(12:18):
My, uh, my now brother-in-law,robert, asked me moments after
we just reached the top of themountain, kind of back to where
we started, and he was likelisten, dylan, you mind me
asking your sister to marry?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
me.
I was so close to death that Ifeel like I should do that.
And what was your response?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I was like, well, well, yeah, I think it's, I
think it's great, but what doyou mean now?
And he was like, yeah, thatthat's actually why we're
heading to this rock um outthere, yeah, yeah it's like no
so the marriage the marriagerock.
I don't know if you have youseen I don't think I've shown
you the video but basically youhad to kind of go off the beaten
path to this uh rock that hasthis amazing view of the gorge,
(13:10):
but I still had to kind offucking jump over this.
I don't know, it felt like afucking meter and a half and it
was just, yeah, yeah, you had toclear this Small crevice, small
crevice, yeah, small crevice.
However, if you fall there, youprobably also die.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
So it was a double whammy, so you had choices of
places.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
You felt like you were going to die.
It was really an overwhelmingday for me in terms of height.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I bet you slept well that night, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I really did.
I got drunk and then I sleptthat night.
Nice a baby.
But yeah, that day I uh, therewas really a bunch of times
where I thought I might just die.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Uh, but did I die?
No, find out.
Next, on the three word story.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
But did you die?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
no, and and we can confirm he is alive to this day.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Hi guys, Hi and Dylan .
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yes, no, I'm joking.
The crowd is very happy thatyou're alive.
They are ecstatic and for theplaces of near death.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Oh yes, that's why we are here.
What three words did they giveyou Unequipped Somewhere, not
all Unequipped Somewhere,gymnastics?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Wow, that really took me left field, because that
felt like you could have beendescribing where you were.
You're unequipped to deal withthe pick-up In some way.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
And then I just randomly did the gymnastics and
popped the splits, because, whenin doubt, split, split it out.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It's good advice.
Thank you, dylan.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, take that.
I should probably stop that one, I think the listeners for
fuck's sake, shut up, james.
Well, I had a couple of storiesI could have gone down.
I could have gone, you know,very self-gratifying, I nearly
actually died, nearly died, Ifell down a cliff or whatever.
(15:05):
But no one wants to listen tothat.
People want to listen to morepathetic things where I felt
like I was going to die, but Iwasn't really going to die.
So I thought I'd go for one ofthese stories, right?
Well, I'll save the other onesfor another day when I want to
really talk about how radical Iam.
Wrong one.
So we're gonna, I'm gonna takeyou back out to you.
(15:26):
I was roughly 13 years old 12,13.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I was roughly 30 years old.
Yeah, it was yesterday.
Yeah, four weeks ago it wasyesterday.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I missed the toilet and I fell on the uh, the toilet
brush uh, and I know I thoughtit was gonna die.
I fucking believe that andthat's why it looks like I have
a small tail.
It's not.
I know that didn't happen,didn't?
That was?
Uh?
Was uh just a hilarious lie?
Uh, but what actually?
Uh, when I was 13, uh and meand the school, uh, at school
(15:56):
year we would sometimes go aslike a special end of year treat
to a place called creelyadventure park.
Okay now, creely adventure parkjust outside exeter.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Uh was a wondrous name, magical place where geez
james yeah, no, this reallysounds like something out of out
of uh some other british moviethat, uh it's creely adventure
park like it was.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It was a wonderful place and it was.
Most of it was outside, soyou'd go there.
There was a log flume where youare guaranteed to get wet in
every way.
There was like a rocking shipthat would rock you back and
forth.
There was a wonky house thatyou would walk in go karts.
It's kind of it's it's peaknessthat was.
It was a bit shit like oh yeah,I completely.
(16:46):
I kind of get the towers,whatever it was a bit shit, but
it was endearing because it wasa bit shit, right, you could
just walk.
Yeah, they know what they are.
Though, yes, yeah, you know you.
Just you know you're notexpecting much.
So you have a you know arambunctious and wonderful time,
yeah, okay.
So where my near-deathexperience happens in this
particular place is actually inthe indoor play area.
(17:07):
So the indoor play area, notthe log flume, not the log flume
.
That was safe, wet, but safeokay.
So thank you, creely, for yourvery safe log flume.
Now you're not supposed to eatthe fucking plastic balls.
No, no, no, and I wish youwould stop because this gets
getting uncomfortable now.
So, um, no, you're not meant toeat those.
So it was like your.
I don't know if you had likethe kind of soft play places
(17:30):
where you would take as a kidand probably the age of 12, 13,.
We were a little bit too big andtoo old for this, but you know
we're a bunch of school kids,we're going to go there and
cause chaos, right, and thisindoor one was.
It was amazing, right, like itwas multi-layered, very large.
It had an enormous ball pitthat you would just like swanton
(17:50):
bomb in wrestle each other.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
It was the time of your life?
Okay, no, I just wanted to saywere you like yeah, it's all
right.
Were you trying to play it coolbeforehand, or were you
actually like?
Guys, this is yeah, no, I was Ithought I was playing it cool.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Now, the more I'm thinking about it, the more
aroused I'm getting, because itwas a fantastic time, it was top
notch, all right, good.
So me and my friend Matt at thetime, we're running around and
you know, just fooling around,chasing each other, and this
little kid starts to kind oflike, try and play.
And I'm talking like little,we're 12, 12, 13, I, I guess
(18:24):
this kid's probably seven, eight, oh okay all right, so he's
running around, yeah like littlesnotty prick, you know, and
we're like go away, littlesnotty prick, we don't want
anything to do with you, go away.
But he is hell bent on chasingus right like he is just like
I'm decided that I'm comingafter you, fuckers, and for
whatever reason.
It was terrifying because youwould let you go around, like
there was like a dark, like apitch black maze, for example.
(18:45):
You'd go through the maze andthen you'd come out the other
side of the maze, little cuntwas there, you shit yourself and
you'd run back again.
So it was, it was fun, right,it was, it was hilarious.
So you have death slides.
You know what I mean by deathslide?
So death slide is just a slide,that is just a sheer drop, yeah
, yeah.
And then it kind of whooshes atthe bottom.
So there's a it was called theRed Devil Huge, big red death
(19:07):
slide in the middle of this.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I love how everything has names, like in your stories
.
I mean, it's like this one wascalled the Red Devil, this was
the Red Devil.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
It was the third largest drop in the southwest
region of death slides.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, that's kind of how I was seeing it.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah, but this well, fuck you did.
It was really cool.
Uh, this way, it was thelargest death slide I'd ever
seen in my life, and they mayhave ever seen?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
oh okay, I just wanted to say up until the years
of the dubai dominator no, thiswas this was hairy right and if
mistreated, could cause graveinjury.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
So we're running away from said child.
It's terrifying.
We're running away, we'rescared.
I get to the top of the deathslide and the thing is at the
death slide.
You just need to just drop.
Yes, not jump, not jump.
Or be pushed.
So, as I was at the top of theslide, matt came up from behind
me and pushed me outwards, and Iplummeted and slammed at the
(20:08):
bottom like slammed hard, and hesaid that he looked down and
thought I've killed James.
Yeah, now what actually happenedto James?
I mean, I play rugby, someone'sused to be knocked around, but
I did just splat and my armdragged along the plastic, the
skin, so like no long sleeve oranything, yeah, and the inside
skin of my kind of elbow areajust peeled off and ceased to
(20:30):
have skin on it anymore.
So just removed my skin.
I was never really gonna die,no, no, but at the time felt
pretty hairy, yes, and it was.
You know, he just decided fuckit, I need to get away from this
child.
And, james, I will sacrificeyou to Cthulhu.
We'll call the kid Cthulhu thedemon squid face, and you will
(20:51):
die to doing so.
And that for me was as good asa near-death experience.
Now I've kind of clicked aroundwhere I think the red demon
devil, whatever the slide wascalled in there.
Think the red demon devil,whatever the slide was called in
there.
And it is given me examples,gentlemen learning, oh, yeah, so
(21:12):
, and that is roughly, I think,where the red devil was in there
, conveniently Right, so.
So that is where.
That is where I'm going to hostmy, my three word story of
today.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It kind of makes for.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's a combination of words that could make for a
very boring story, but hopefullynot uh, almost certainly will,
then, and whether it's a storyor whether it will be examples
of some gentleman learning, wewill see.
All right.
So, dylan, we will do this time, yes, a game of, uh, rabbit, um
carrot gun.
(21:44):
Yes, yes, but we'll just go one, two, three and then we'll do
the action right, to save anypotential upset from anyone in
the world.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Thank you, yeah, yeah , saves me from looking stupid.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So yeah, we don't want that Dylan, because Michael
can't shoot that himself.
Yeah, so we're gonna go one,two, three shoot, yeah right one
, two, three shoot.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
That's funny.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
One, two three shoot, that's my carrot in your gun
hole.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Oh fuck why why did I get excited?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I was like I'm gonna shoot your carrot, my carrot
goes down your barrel, so I, Iwin, so I'm going to go first.
Oh, that's you, I'm going to gofirst.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Drop it down low with three-word story.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Look, I'm not going to say it's a story.
You know I like to mix.
Uh, my, the way I I performthese stories and last time I
went to a lot of effort.
You know I had to speak to hanszimmer, I had to do record
music.
We have to get a whole band inhere, so you remember you did do
.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You did no story.
I did the opposite this timeokay.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
so what I've done, what I've prepared, is some
examples of gentleman learning.
So what?
That's what we're going to haveright now.
So I have a list of facts, allright, some of these facts will
be fact, oh, okay, some of thesefacts will not be facts, and
it's for you, gentlemen, gentleman, to decipher between what is
(23:13):
learning and what is examplesof not learning.
Okay, and I need you to, I needyou to work through it right
for the listeners at home.
They need to see an insightinto the enigma that is your
brain.
Oh, so, god, help us all.
Who knows what?
Speaker 2 (23:29):
we will see, the empty space that is just a, just
a dripping noise, just adripping noise in a cave sound.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
So we need to know what you're thinking, where
you're going, and then I need todecisive this is fact or not
fact the beach.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Okay, after discussing my, my train of
thought yeah, yeah, well, where?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
you're going with it.
You know, did you actually knowthis?
Or you know, did you do somescientific research?
Or were you touching yourselfonce you accidentally clicked
the wrong tab but you were like,oh shit, you know this, know,
this was this.
You know, I don't know them, Idon't know, but judging by the
blister on your hand, who knows?
So we're going to do examplesof gentlemen learning.
So, dylan, the first fact, orno fact, is a cloud weighs
(24:15):
around a million tons.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Yeah, what about it?
Yes, a fact I can click throughthese pretty soon.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Listen, if there's ever something, I can fail a
test with blistering speed.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I can imagine the only thing you can do a
blistering speed, just fail testdylan, you walked in and you
failed immediately.
That's incredible.
Well done without any thought.
Yeah, so a cloud weighs amillion tons.
Now how would a cloud sit inthe sky weighing a million tons?
Dylan?
That sounds, that soundsridiculous.
No, sounds ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
No, yeah, well, again it's.
So let me start with clouds andrain.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Oh, okay, Do you see where I'm going with this?
I'm not a clown.
No me neither.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
No, I'm not entirely sure, but I know I mean it rains
from the clouds.
It must be heavy.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
That's a nice one.
It's a good train of thought.
It's a good train of thought.
But a million tons, Dylan, andthey're just sat up there in the
sky drifting around.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Come on A million tons, a million tons, a million
tons, maybe, but then yet, yetagain, you also won't leave.
It's either fact or not.
It's not like you'll take theamount of a million tons and it
was actually just, uh, half amillion tons.
And now you were like, yeah,maybe maybe we'll try and catch
(25:52):
them out that way.
No, no, we're not.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
We're not going to be , we're not going to play
semantics we're not gonna playsemantics, we're not gonna be
like one out, like actually itwas 999,000.
We're not gonna do that rightyeah, I'm gonna stick with it.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
You're gonna go.
True, it's possible.
We're gonna go true andcongratulations.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
And that one was true , nice one, well done, that's
one for one.
So the next one, dylan fact orno fact, giraffes are 30 times
more likely to get hit bylightning than people.
No, no, you're gonna, you'rejust gonna go straight.
No, I'm gonna say yeah, um, bythe way, these giraffes have, um
(26:30):
, they've had, neck surgery, sothey have like a, you know, like
a metal, titanium, how, howwould the odds increase that
much, despite them just onlybeing I mean, that's a little
bit higher I remember a littlebit higher yeah yeah like I'm
being serious.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I've seen enough giraffes in my life all right,
sure?
Speaker 1 (26:49):
no, I'm being serious okay, fine so you don't think a
giraffe's neck is 30 timestaller than our neck despite
that, the neck size doesn'tmatter no right no, uh it's,
it's just the sheer height ofwhatever this fucking thing is.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
So, whether it's, why don't the trees then get uh
stroken struck?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
by stroking trees.
Yeah, stroking fucking trees,why?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
aren't the trees getting stroken?
Yeah, so it's not like it aimsfor something with a heartbeat,
and just because this thing istaller than we are, it must by
default hit that.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
So so you are cat?
I mean, you would seem quiteaggressive on this.
Do you like giraffes?
How would you, how would youknow?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
no, you know it's not particularly the, the giraffes.
I'm just thinking of thestories, because I grew up quite
scared of lightning and I was Iremember that because we have
pretty severe thunderstorms backhome and I just remember
thinking.
My chain of thought was please,fucking strike the house,
(27:48):
please where we are now, so thatI know it doesn't get strike
there again.
I remember thinking this when Iwas smaller and then like
another with regards tosomething being taller than I am
and then it having betterchances of getting struck.
I remember running with a groupof people and I remember I
(28:14):
wanted to go home because I canclearly see there's a
thunderstorm approaching, andthis particular gentleman was
like listen, stop being a littlebitch about it.
And I just remember thinkingyou know what?
How old were you?
I was probably about 10, 11.
No, because I remember himbeing relatively harsh.
(28:36):
I still felt like he was harsh,despite me actually being a
little bitch about it.
But him actually saying it, Iwas like listen, you are tall as
shit.
So he was roughly around twometers tall and I just remember
thinking listen, that's fine,odds are you'll get struck first
.
I remember thinking thisTen-year-olds, but this was ten
(28:57):
year old dylan's uh chain ofthought.
But no I as time goes on um.
No, it doesn't increase ordecrease it doesn't increase.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Okay.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, isdylan correct in saying that it
is false that giraffes are 30more times likely to get hit by
lightning?
It is true, they are 30 timesmore likely to be hit than
humans.
Now it's basically just becausethey're taller.
(29:28):
Um, so there are only fivewell-documented fatal lightning
striking on giraffes, but due tothe population of the species,
it makes it more likely thatthey're going to be hit by
lightning.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I didn't take that into account, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
So it's like you've gone caught based on semantics,
yeah, but I can see where youwere coming from and I enjoyed
that trip through memory laneand fuck that guy, yeah, it was
like oh it's gonna thunder andlightning, I'll fucking beat the
lightning out of you.
You little puss, poor little 10year old Dylan.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Um, okay, yeah okay, one all okay you might know a
bit about this.
Anyway, this is kind of in your, in your ballpark um now I
don't know what he was when yousaid to me I'm like, I'm like,
oh shit, dylan, just shut upthat is not it.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Identical twins have the same fingerprints no I don't
know I I really um so couldyour could?
The twins?
I don't know.
Are they identical ornon-identical?
They are identical, okay.
(30:45):
So do you think one couldcommit a murder and the other
one could blame the other?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Based on their fingerprints?
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
So you're thinking that they so everything is
identical, but for some reasontheir fingertips are a little
different?
Yeah, but then yet again.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
James, there's identical is also just a word
they use to say that they've gotenough of each other's genes to
look as close as possible toeach other, but that they don't
look like each other.
Have they been given a?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
percentage, because I've known some people who are
twins and they're like, oh,we're um, like.
We worked with a girl who waswho said that, like she was, her
and her twin were the theclosest, yeah, like 99.8.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
I don don't know with regards to my sisters.
I don't know what thepercentage is, but I mean I can
clearly tell the differencebetween them.
For other people it might besomething different, but when it
comes down to fingerprints itnever came up.
But no, I can't see thatsomething so specific and so
(31:57):
small would be identical.
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, Well, dylan, you are correct, Congratulations
.
The crowd goes wild.
So you can't blame your crimeson your twin.
This is because environmentalfactors, such as during
development in the womb,umbilical cord length, length,
position of the womb and therate of finger growth, impact
your fingerprint.
Who would have thought it?
(32:21):
Now, the next one, dylan, isone I.
I thought that that wouldrelate to you a little bit in
your life.
This one, 100, relates to you.
Your brain is constantly eatingitself.
Yes, so it's just inside yourhead right now it's just chewing
(32:46):
.
That's what's happening rightnow in your brain.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
True or false.
No, what I'm kind of thinkingit may be in the lines of this
is going to sound bizarre.
Yeah, maybe in the sense of itfucking has to.
There's a process, maybe, of itcleaning itself somehow and
maybe it eats something out ofsomething.
Tell me about that process.
How do you?
Speaker 1 (33:07):
think it's working well at this particular moment
it's full food.
It's not particularly great sowhat are you thinking?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
there's like little men in there with like those
brushes that they used, theyused to, is in there, yeah, just
spraying and washing um.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
So you think it's eating itself and not eating
itself?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
yeah, but it's eating itself, maybe in a good way, so
it doesn't atrophy away orfucking die, or like it gets a,
gets rid of, uh, old stem cellsor stem cells or fucking some
cells that die in it.
I'm not sure.
But yeah, let's say it's eatingitself then the crowd goes wild
and congratulations the uh butwhy is it?
Yeah, so?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
the process is called phagocytosis, where cells
envelop and consume smallercells or molecules to remove
them from the system.
But don't you worry, dylan,phagocytosis isn't harmful, uh,
and it actually helps preserveyour gray matter, um, except for
in your case where it's toohungry and it's just eating
(34:10):
everything inside and there's aand there's nothing.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Other people have a medulla oblongata.
I just have the meh Meh, youjust have the meh.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
That's all you have.
Okay, last one, Dylan.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Yeah sure.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
So you're two, one up , I think I wasn't really no, me
neither.
Water might not be wet, true,so why might it not be wet?
Why would water not be wet?
When is wet?
Wet, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet,wet, wet, wet, sorry, sorry.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Wet, wet, wet, wet, wet.
It might not be wet, it mightjust feel wet.
So again, it may be just withhow we perceive it, or our brain
maybe just can't comprehend.
I don't know.
This is normally how the factthat you're asking the question
might make me think, might makeme think.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Oh no, I think that.
Do you know what that was, mer?
That's a classic case ofphagocytosis right there.
So, yeah, what are you thinking?
Water is wet, not wet, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet wet.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
No, I don't think water is wet.
I think we just maybeexperience something and we call
it wet.
But, yeah, I'm not entirelysure and I can't really make
that much sense out of it.
But, like I said, I can fail atest pretty fast and even if it
is with my well, dylan, you knowwhat.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
You were on the right wavelength, um, basically,
scientists, fucking nerds, uh,basically define wetness as a
liquid's ability to make contactwith a solid surface.
Nerds, we obviously know it'swhat it feels like.
So, um, you know whether youagree with the nerds uh or not,
that's up to you.
So you were three-way man.
(35:59):
You've absolutely smashed that.
Um, thank you, uh.
Another little, another littleone, uh, that I'll I'll just
give you.
I'm only gonna ask if you thinkthis is true or not.
And this again with the, um,the, the, the brain eating
itself, the, the phagocytosis,and I worry that you may have a
very hungry brain.
Also, wearing a tie can reduceblood flow to the brain by 7.5.
(36:24):
So you've got a very hungrybrain and a very tight tie and
you're in trouble, my friend.
Yeah, and you're in troubletown, you're in trouble town.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
I actually think I might be in trouble because I
wear a lot of ties and, in allhonesty, I I think the the, the
shirt and the neck and the tieratio like yeah, in order to
make the tie look right, I needto tie it tighter, so you're
just asphyxiating yourself.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Yeah, I do wonder why you're just constantly like
red-faced coughing.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
Because either I need to shit like constantly or the
tie is too tight and your brainis too hungry.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, congratulations , dylan.
The crowd goes wild for thatincredible, amazing, wonderful
search through the facts there,and that truly was examples of
gentlemen learning Wonderful.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Well, thank you James .
Yeah, that was actually reallyinteresting.
Why am I so surprised?
Fuck you, Drop it down low withthree-word story, Right?
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Dylan.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Alright, let me get to my three words.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Unequipped somewhere, gymnastic yeah, baby, can't
wait to hear how, when, when,once you take this one yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So, um, I go somewhere where someone, someone
was unequipped, yeah, to get tothe level of success that they
ultimately did.
So again, unfortunately,there's a theme going and it's
(38:04):
like a, uh, an origin story, ormaybe a success story, an
underdog story, whatever youwant.
I mean, as I said, before dylan.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Um, we are becoming the place where you can find out
where things came from.
I mean, we opened up with alittle deep dive into cotton eye
joe, uh, where we coulddefinitely say it was related to
syphilis.
And now people know, people getit.
Obviously I'll research thatand maybe if we are so
criminally wrong about that thatwe could uh that you know we
could be immediately cancelled.
(38:32):
So right now I'm just going tothrow in allegedly on that.
Allegedly that it has a syphilis, um, but we may just be naive
and wrong, but this is the placewhere people come to, to learn,
I think, more than anything.
Laugh second or maybe eventhird.
Um, it's probably to learnfirst, marvel at how stupid we
are, second, and then laughthird, yeah, so so don't worry
(38:53):
about it.
If it's an origin story, thenfuck it, drop it down so
somewhere?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
yeah, now, actually looking at it, I think somewhere
is better than nowhere.
What do you think of when youthink nowhere?
Right, so we're goingphilosophical right, so yeah
isn't like in terms, no, ofactual geographic location, like
if you think of nowhere, so Iguess, so it's somewhere is like
(39:21):
that's somewhere to be right,so I'm gonna go somewhere.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Then maybe there's something to do there, maybe
that's where people go yeah,there's nowhere is.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
No, I'm not feeling good about it.
I'm not feeling nowhere is likedesert.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
Or I'm not feeling Nowhere is like desert, or I
feel there's, like it's usually,the precursor is usually
buttfuck of yeah, then followedby nowhere, right, like you
don't go the buttfuck ofsomewhere because that's like
well, there's something there.
That's somewhere there, but Iwould say that this is, yeah,
desert, barren land, the insideof your head, for example.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
That's what I would say thanks, thanks for that one.
Where's the crowd laughing onthat one?
There we go.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
Um, okay, no so they just really like that one,
really good one.
What is the standing?
Standing, oh, fuck guys, itwasn't that good next time I.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
I get control of the buttons, so sit down, everyone
sit down.
I think we should start doingthat.
We should start rock paperscissors.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
To see who gets control of the buttons.
Okay, well, next week on Three.
Word Story you're just going toconstantly get.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Dylan, they need to make sense, the timing needs to
be there.
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (40:33):
I'm not even listening to it.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
All right, do you want to download Three?
Make sense, the timing needs tobe there, but you have phones
on, you're not even listening toit.
All right.
So where I figured is thisplace is at least somewhere and
not nowhere, right?
So it's not quite in the middleof the desert, or amazon, or
dot com, yeah, dot com, um, butthey are somewhere.
And this level of somewheretakes us to Uzbekistan.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Okay, wow, yeah, so dramatic.
Paul's really emphasized.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yeah, because, honestly, I was in true
Uzbekistan and I needed to lookdown Uzbekistan.
Was it?
No, it was Uzbekistan,Kazakhstan.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
And for the listeners at home, who are thinking never
heard of it and they've notwatched Borat.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Which is also just a neighbouring country, because
Kazakhstan is where Borat's from.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
I'm sure they're all friends, or maybe not.
You tell me.
So, yeah, roughly.
Where is Uzbekistan?
Where can we find those?
Right next to Kazakhstan, nice,thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Just south of Russia, which is a big old place Fondly
known as the Stans, yeah, andthe Stans, a couple of Stans,
(41:55):
but the story originating or thesuccess story, underdog story
that originates from there issomeone who was unequipped for
what they wanted to do.
Now, there was a circus in townin Uzbekistan and the
particular city where thisperson is from.
I Go on, give it a go, give ita go.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
I fucking didn't even write it down you just yeah,
probably too many K's W's Z's.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I'm not even.
I'm going to butcher.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
I would love to hear you give it a go.
Can you find it?
I'll just, I'll just chat someshit, so you know.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Uzbekistan is a wonderful, sparsely populated,
quickly backspace.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Cotton Eye Joe, no bookmark that page, bookmark
that, and I really want to knowwhat city this is, because I'm
sure you're going to eloquentlyput it.
You know an Uzbekistani you arevery fond of.
I'm sure he could teach you.
He speaks Russian, I believe,as well, as well as English.
Extremely well, I'm sure hespeaks about lovely things.
(42:54):
No, no, this one is actuallyreally not difficult.
It's.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Bukhara Huh.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Bukhara, bukhara.
Okay so hopefully I didn't giveaway my guess.
But it's not a guess, it's astory about this person.
Okay, but what I wanted tocompare her story to was, I mean
, we all know kind of SylvesterStallone story where he was kind
of Hollywood and he sold hisscript and he only had $106 in
(43:21):
his bank account but he wantedto star in the movie, like JK
Rowling, Michael Jordan, oprahWinfrey the list goes on and on.
However, this person is maybethe most famous unfamous person.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Okay, all right, might know.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Okay, her story and I , before I give her a name, like
I actually wanted to give her aname away first.
But let me let me kind of delvein.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Such a tease Okay.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
The circus was in town.
This little girl then saw thesetrapeze artists and they
thought, wow, absolutelyfantastic.
And after the show asked listen, how did they kind of get into
this, etc.
Etc.
And they, et cetera, and theysaid, well, gymnastics is where
we started.
And she thought, well, this isamazing.
And she went back to herparents asking listen, is this
(44:25):
something that we could do?
Is this?
And unfortunately, in theirvillage there was nothing right.
There was no gymnastics club atthat stage, and at that stage
I'm talking about the, the 70s,yeah, okay, it is tracking yeah,
tracking back that far and umso unequipped and her parents
(44:48):
also not being in a financialposition to drive her around, um
, they kind of had to make dowith what they had.
So, if you don't know, or forthose of you that don't know, uh
, female gymnastics.
You have a beam bar, a vaultand then floor okay, no, I
(45:11):
didn't know.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I didn't know you're such an expert on female
gymnastics.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Well, I should, I should have guessed really after
seeing that blister.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
So I.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I've got three sisters and all three of them to
this day still do gymnastics,autistic gymnastics.
So I, um I had quite a fewcrushes on their friends, don't
worry before.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
Yeah, let me just get get ahead of that.
I'd love that, by the way,standing up.
Yeah, nothing weird here, guys.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Nothing weird, nothing weird yeah so, um, I I
grew up listening to all right.
So, ladies, and we will nowmove from beam to bar, bar to
floor, floor to fucking vault,to who's this fucking weirdo
telling his words?
why does he keep pointing to hiscrotch every time he says beam
and bar anyway she kind ofreally had to dig deep and go
(46:03):
back to basics because I don'tknow, if you know, it's not the
floor, isn't actually just thefloor, it is basically, uh, and
this apparatus that has a slightmore bounce to it okay, so it's
like a trampoline that makessense, because I did think how
are they not snapping their?
Speaker 1 (46:24):
knees and ankles, yeah, yeah so okay, so it's like
a whole, the whole floor thenis springy.
Yeah, what is it?
How is it?
How does that work?
Speaker 2 (46:31):
yeah, like springs down at the bottom um springs
and sponges.
Basically Sounds like a greatcompany name Springs and sponges
.
Sounds like we went for yourfun day.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Springs and sponges.
Yeah, go down to.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Creeley Springs and sponges.
The children chase you when youget pushed off a slide, yeah,
but no, basically she actuallyused I always want to say the
elements.
So she started practicing onthe actual floor and the actual
grass.
So this has actually been saidin interviews that that's where
(47:06):
she learned and that's how shegot her power, Because she, up
until this day, is quite apowerful female gymnast, because
she can generate I mean so much, I guess plyometric forces or
oomph, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
I think it's a technical term.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Oomph, yeah, so basically doing that on floor
beam.
She literally just found a beamand did a routine on this just
just abby, just a randomuzbekistani beam.
Speaker 1 (47:40):
She was just like I'm fucking all over that uh, bars
that one?
Speaker 2 (47:45):
uh no, there's no joke.
They were bars, though she'dhang around in bars, yeah, just
be spreadies, spreadies, yep,okay, um yeah, bars, basically
just uh started practicing onthem and then uh vault, she
actually used some tires, likeuh car tires, and yeah, used
(48:06):
that to to practice some of herskills.
But now to go into her longlist of achievements.
She's been active on theinternational scene for
gymnastics, like female artisticgymnastics, since 1988.
Right, gee, whiz, and she isalso I read this she's been to
(48:33):
eight Olympic Games.
Eight Olympic Games.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Eight Olympic Games.
So work that out, yeah, as I'mtrying to rapidly and failing.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
What's that?
Every four years?
Speaker 1 (48:44):
32 years.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Yeah, so 32 years 32 years, Nice, nice, nice that she
has been able to qualify forvarious teams, though by the way
over the years, various teams,as in nationalities or within
gymnastics, to qualify forvarious teams.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
though, by the way over the years, various teams as
in various things, or yeahgymnastics within gymnastics,
but for different countries soshe actually could you do that?
Speaker 2 (49:03):
for yeah, yeah well, I mean I'm not sure, but the
reason why it kind of split upand kind of bounced around,
because she initially uhcompeted for the USSR Right, and
then from there on I think yeahso from 93 to 2005,.
It was Uzbekistan, 2006 to 2012, germany and then 2013 to
(49:28):
present.
I did not write that down.
Speaker 1 (49:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Classic phagocytosis coming out right there, yeah,
but basically this is oksanachusevina, and she is the the
uzbek born gymnast that hasfucking shocked the world
because she was unequippedwithin where she grew up and
kind of, where she's from isreally somewhere, but just a wee
(50:03):
bit better than nowhere, and,yeah, she was an absolute
fantastic gymnast.
So, yeah, well, fuck me.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
I mean, the crowd goes wild for her and they are
standing up and going.
I'm really worried, dylan, thatwe may have actually learned
something today, and that wasvery factual and very
interesting as well well, notall of it was factual, but it
wasn't factual.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Hang on a minute, I was really invested.
Yeah, sorry, I told it in a waythat I thought, yeah, maybe it
wasn't actually, it wasmechanics and it wasn't
Uzbekistan, it was actuallySouth Sudan.
Speaker 1 (50:37):
And she wasn't a woman.
Her name was Jeff and thisactually happened.
No, it didn't happen, I made itup.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
No, so she actually did.
She was.
She had been to eight OlympicGames.
I'm not sure it might be nine,however she is um 49 years old
at this particular so.
So just to give you an idea,she's still a gymnast.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
And just to give you an idea, most professional
female gymnasts retire at theage of like 24 yeah, but like
before they, like they, they getout of puberty, do it for a few
years and then that's kind ofthat now she has managed to stay
relevant for for quite sometime.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
But no, the the where the fakeness of the story
probably comes in is I'm notsure how.
If she actually did gymnasticsjust on the floor or just on the
beam, there's okay.
What was the name?
What was the name?
What was oxana?
Speaker 1 (51:28):
a fucking, what aux?
Speaker 2 (51:30):
as in I'm gonna, I need a jack okay.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Okay, it's's okay.
It's a okay S a N a gymnastright.
Speaker 2 (51:37):
True, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
Um, okay, well, well, yeah, 49 years old, she's five
foot tall.
Um, I'm really like.
So she's served net likedifferent country.
Why Germany?
Speaker 2 (51:50):
I'm not sure how that one.
Yeah, I'm not sure how that one.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Yeah, maybe we don't want to know, so she's gone back
to Uzbekistan.
Oh, so, ussr, uzbekistan,germany back to Uzbekistan.
Which is?
Which is nice?
Yeah, I guess, yeah, um, andshe's, she's still, she's still
flipping.
I mean, what a quality humanbeing.
I mean, hats off to Oksana.
(52:14):
Thank you very much for yourtime.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
And then I kind of wanted to say, well, look, I
mean I actually think she mightbe the most famous person.
But then I googled other famousUzbeks and the yeah, did you
get anyone?
Good?
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Nope, our friend Fails on there.
He does real estate in Dubai.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
Dubai he could be.
Maybe that's why he's in Dubai.
Maybe he's too famous inUzbekistan.
Yeah, I mean, she deserves tobe up there for the most famous.
I would say yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I don't know.
Do you know Amir Timur?
Speaker 1 (52:49):
no.
What does he do in that case?
Speaker 2 (52:50):
no, does he do gymnastics no, I'm just going as
celebrities of uzbekistan isliterally the uh, the title of
the article that I'm now goinginto, and, um, I'll also just uh
okay, well, she's got loads.
Speaker 1 (53:08):
She's got golds in world championships, gold in
olympics, gold in asia games soI actually think j yeah, we
actually learned something.
Fuck, I don't know how to feelnow I feel I feel a bit weird.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
Um where's the comedy ?
Where's the bullshit?
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Where's the?
Where's the deliciousphagocytosis that usually spurs
you on with some ums and ahs, Uh, uh, but well, I mean, the
bombshell to end on, I guess, iswe've all learned something.
Oh shit, this feels terrible.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
We will change this.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
Well, the next episode.
Let's do something that we willdefinitely not learn something.
Maybe we'll make that pact.
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
I don't even know what we should.
We'll steer away from whateverhappened this episode.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
Yeah, maybe we should just make it more crass again.
I don't know, find somewhere.
Find somewhere where you shityourself and then, and then
we'll do that, but I don't thinkI've done that.
To be fair, that's not a verygood one.
Uh, find somewhere where, ifyou were going to uh clear a
land and and move into it, no,that's not a good one, I just
(54:16):
made that political.
We don't want that one either.
If you were going to make atheme park based on you Dylan
Land, me, james Land where wouldit be?
And then you also need to comeup with exactly what does this
look like?
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Yeah, what's the theme?
What does it look like?
Walk us through it.
What's?
Yeah, what's?
What's the theme?
What?
What does it look like?
Walk us through it.
What's the idea?
What's the theme?
Speaker 1 (54:37):
exactly, and and the three words needs to be on like
the key right.
So for me I'm gonna obviouslyreplicate the red devil slide
from where I nearly died as ayoung age and okay, so take us
through memory lane, exactlymemory lane so we're gonna,
we're gonna find our three-wordstory from the place where we're
gonna to have our own themepark and we're going to what
that theme park is.
Um, I tell you what, fuck it.
The three-word story needs tobe about the theme park some way
(55:02):
you need to relate it to thetheme park.
Yeah, I'm gonna add an extralayer of difficulty and that
should then prevent it frombeing too informational and too
factual, um which I'm scared we,we can't really carry on that
train at all because we'restupid, which was point two of
why people tune in.
Till then Dylan, till then.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Three-word story, all right.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
Thank you for listening to this week's
three-word story.
If you would like to get intouch with James and Dylan, then
please email us atthe3wordstory at gmailcom.
Send your reviews, negative orpositive, or even your three
words, and we'll read them outon air.
See you next week.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Drop a download with three-word story.
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