19. River Of Judgement & Black gang Chine (Theme parks)

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Welcome to a whimsical ride through the future of theme parks! In this captivating episode, we're delving into the magical realm of imagination to share our ideas for the ultimate amusement park. Together we explore the connections between our personalities and our park visions, revealing how deeply personal experiences can inspire thrilling attractions.

Join us as we dream up eccentric ideas for rides that blend education with entertainment, taking inspiration from historical landmarks like the pyramids of Egypt and weaving in playful storytelling. Picture roller coasters that swing through the ancient lands, amusement zones named after our most treasured experiences, and interactive sections where laughter reigns supreme. You'll hear us bounce around concepts that spark joy, older rides given modern twists, and how each adventure can educate while thrilling guests.

Expect a whirlwind of banter, humour, and creative energy as we tackle a range of potential attractions, from the whimsical to the thought-provoking. We believe that the park of the future should also tie back to its surroundings—using the past as a canvas to express the wonders of our imaginations. By the end, we're leaving you with the magic of creativity, beckoning you to think about what your dream theme park would look like. So buckle up, and prepare to journey into a world where anything is possible! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and ideas after you listen!

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app what threewords?
And improv the shit out of astory.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today on Three Word Story.
We just sell people their ownsweat bags.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Yes, dylan To the following people yes, we do we
Black Gang Shine?
So what happens on the River ofJudgment?

Speaker 2 (00:25):
They go on the river, okay, and they get judged.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
And now I probably should tell you how that links
to my three words.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
I'll just start profusely sweating.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh yeah, dylan, oh yeah.
Three-word story Back in thehouse.
Woo, oh shit, that's what Iwanted.
Bam Dylan, baby boy, how areyou today?

Speaker 2 (00:57):
And you went for that one Baby boy.
Stand up, show me your diapers.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Maybe it's the hair.
Maybe it's the hair today, whoknows?
Tune into youtube, by the way,first, first little plug of the
episode, uh, to find out what Imean by by dylan's hair, uh, and
what he actually looks like.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yeah, this is, this is my real hair, but to show you
that I'm not a baby and he hasa pipe he's puffing away
beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Well, dylan, um, my not so baby boy again, complete
regret.
I don't know why I said that Ijust went in too hot with that,
I guess.
Yeah, um, we're caffeinatinghard, so maybe we just went went
too far.
So let's take it back a notch,let's take it slow into this
today's three-word story.
Dylan, please tell the ladiesand gentlemen at home how are

(01:45):
you and why?

Speaker 2 (01:48):
and why?
Uh, yeah, james, I'm good.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I just recently uh found a new apartment
congratulations, where was itvery much sports city oh, nice,
nice and uh, how many sports areyou doing there regularly?
Do you have to play tennis?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
uh, actually, I have now taken a paddle uh ping pong
and tennis.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
I'm sticking to the uh the racket sport okay, and is
it tai ping pong or tabletennis?

Speaker 2 (02:14):
typing sounds like somebody I know.
Not typing like tai ping.
No, I mean like typing, typingas someone's name.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, you probably do that with typing yeah to be
fair, but yeah, so is it tabletennis, or you, or are you?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
no, no, that's one of our languages back up I just
love how we keep on kind ofcrossing barriers being like
what the fuck are we talkingabout?
Are we talking about typing?
Are we talking about.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
I don't know.
Now you've added a languageinto the mix, sorry so.
The sports you've been playing,yes, but not so playing, but
you've moved into a lovely placefor yourself.
How is it?
yeah, yeah, it's very, very uhum private oh, ladies and
gentlemen, he's a bright bicepis bulging as he says that very

(03:10):
sad well, congratulations,congratulations on your new home
.
Hopefully that it will allowyou to uh to maybe put some
inspiration in today's story, uh, because today's story, uh,
that we're going to be findingfor ourselves is based on where
we would put a theme park basedon ourselves, right, is that

(03:31):
kind?

Speaker 2 (03:32):
of the avenue you've gone down.
Yeah, what I kind of reckon isis it wasn't based on traits of
myself or necessary, but thingsthat I would find interesting,
or an interesting concept themepark that I then kind of decide,
like, if I had to open one thatmakes sense and makes money,

(03:53):
yeah, why not?
This would kind of be somethingthat I go towards.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
So not including I mean I don't know which one
yours is, or where yours is inthe world, or whether it's
somewhere you've been or notwhat has been your best ever's
somewhere you've been or not.
What has been your best evertheme park you've been to?

Speaker 2 (04:07):
and why I haven't been too many, too too many.
No, because I actually uh steerclear of them the shit yeah,
and why do you stay clear ofthem, dylan?

Speaker 1 (04:19):
you're afraid because I'm in your pants no, no, no,
no.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Those are well, yes probably but, okay, um no, I'm
terrified of heights, james I Ireally any situation that that
involves theme parks or heightsI actively try and move away.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
That involves theme parks or heights, or like what
happens theme parks or heights.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah, that's you can have.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Let me give you an example.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Okay, I went to uh okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
I went to lego land in windsor in england, right,
and as a kid I loved lego right,putting those blocks together.
Oh, baby, come at me with somecreativity.
I loved lego right and thistheme park is very flat because
it's lego.
You can only build lego so highright, so not really any high
roller coasters.
Now, the very disappointingthing of lego land it's just for

(05:14):
kids, and I wasn't a kid, I wasprobably in my early 20s.
You knew this before going tolego, hey I mean lego's been
around for a long time, dylan.
I thought maybe.
I just thought maybe therewould be something for the
broader market.
Yeah, I was wrong, dylan.
I was very wrong, it was allfor kids.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
That sounds more my speed.
Yeah, yeah, exactly yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Just shame.
You're not allowed to goanywhere within 100 feet of a
place like that anymore, dylan,so that's sad for you.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Why is it sad?
I'm joking.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
I'm obviously I'm joking.
Yeah, I'm joking, I'm joking.
Dylan, you can go near anychild you want to, uh, within
reason.
So basically we went there andthey have, like this large, like
model village of the world madea lego, right?
Um, I guess if you're five thenit seems massive, right?
Because you're like you're lowdown, you're like, wow, look at
big ben, wow, look at the eiffeltower.
When you're like you're lowdown, you're like, look at big
ben, look at the eiffel tower.
When you're six foot tall, itlooks shit.

(06:07):
It looks shit and it looksfaded and that was basically
like the main part of what youcould enjoy in lego land.
So instead I just ended upgoing drunk and getting drunk
somewhere else.
So that was lego land for me.
But that could be that kind oftheme park, right?
So it doesn't necessarily haveto be like roller coasters and
whatever.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
It could be extreme disappointment or it could
actually just be enough, like interms of my uh, my adrenaline
scope if you call it yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh my god, I can't believe it that that just looks
like london oh, I can't believeit.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
No, but if you know you get uncomfortable at certain
heights or at certain speeds,then you can kind of keep an ad
bay by just sitting flat on theground, and that's about it.
The speed I can probably do abit more.
But yeah, the heights thing, no, just freaks me out.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
So it doesn't do it for you.
Okay, so you want to feet inand around?
Maybe lego land that would helpyou?
Okay, well, lego land isn't myplace.
So where in the world have youput your theme park, and why?

Speaker 2 (07:18):
I put mine in egypt, cairo specifically, of course,
and then, if you link the threewords to that, that would then
be helpfully, helpfully,helpfully.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
I didn't know that was a word, though okay, like
helpful, but you can dosomething helpfully.
You can fill up the help if youhelpfully.
Yeah, yeah, okay so we've gothelpfully is word number one
Screech.
Yeah, that wasn't a soundboard,by the way.
That was me, for everyone athome Screech.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
and what was my third word?

Speaker 1 (07:52):
What was your third word?
Come on, dylan, come on, takeit to the bridge.
Roller coaster, flat Mountains,pyramid, the River Nile, levels
the river Nile, ooh, levels,levels, okay, right, so helpful,
helpfully.
Screech levels, okay.
Uh, anything you want todivulge on this place in Egypt,
or is this going to link to whatyou have to?

Speaker 2 (08:13):
tell us today.
I think I'll try andincorporate everything into the
story and kind of yeah, I'llgive, give like a preamble, how
I got into where, okay, whereyou, how you got lost in egypt
where you may find yourself.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Um, I hope it's fenced off.
I kind of went down a littlerabbit hole on tiktok the other
day of scammers in egypt, andwhich they are rife.
So for those who don't know,like I've not been there, but I
have had some friends who havegone to like the great pyramids
right just outside cairo or gizaor wherever it is, yeah and uh,
when you look at them they lookphenomenal and fantastic, right

(08:51):
like wow, look at them out inthe desert and the sphinx is
there and everything, whenactually in reality it's two
inches away from the actual city.
Yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, itlooks like a mess, right.
And then all around it ispeople just trying to scam, scam
and scam, scam, scam, scam,scam and scam.
One after the other, andthere's like fake police
officers there.

(09:11):
There's people saying like comewith me, give us your documents
.
So if you go to the pyramids,beware.
So you know, public serviceannouncement.
If that shit's all over yourstory, I apologize, I didn't
mean to, unless it was justgoing to be a public service
announcement of looking afteryourself in egypt.
I don't know, dylan.
So where am I going to put mytheme park, I hear you say in

(09:33):
your mind, yes, well, dylan, I'mgoing to put my theme park and
I'm going to talk about thiseven more in my story.
But I'm going to give you alittle bit of history about this
place first.
I'm going to really paint thepicture for you and those at
home.
I'm taking you, dylan, to theisle of white.
Do you know the isle of white,dylan?

(09:53):
No good, the isle of white isthe southernmost tip of the
british isles.
It is this lovely, lovely littleisland or isle just off the
south of England, like whereSouthampton is, and it just sits
there by itself.
There ain't much going on inIsle of Wight, to be honest, but
that's what makes it such abeautiful place, a place of

(10:16):
virtue and humbleness, and thatis where I want to put my thing,
because I am virtuous and sovery humble, dylan.
I am so fucking humble andfantastic yeah, all at the same
time he almost worked it inthere like those are your, your
words.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Uh, I couldn't be farther.
No, actually not even.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
I did not think that far ahead.
In fact, I didn't think anypart ahead.
Um, I don't know what I wasdoing there.
I was just riffing, you know,riffing.
I don't have the anymore, but Ionly have four things on this
number, so thank fuck for that,sad for me.
So I'm taking you to the Isle ofWight, dylan, specifically.
Specifically, I'm taking you tothe lovely hamlet of Black Gang

(10:58):
.
Okay, I'm taking you to BlackGang and within Black Gang, and
I can see, I can see your browfurrowing.
I'm taking you to Black Gangand within Black Gang, and I can
see, I can see your browfurrowing, I can see the deep
intake of breath, and you'rethinking, james, you are going
down an avenue which will ceasethis podcast forever.
Well, let me tell you, dylanActually I will think you'll

(11:19):
find that Black Gang is namedafter the black mineral that was
found in the rocks at BlackGang, and so it's, black is what
is in the mountain, and gang isthe pathways that sailors used
to use to get up into the hamlet.
That's where the term Black Gangcomes from, and nowhere else.
Nowhere else, dylan, it's to dowith rock and paths.

(11:41):
Repeat after me it's aboutrocks and paths.
Okay, so we're going to blackgang, and in black gang is a
beautiful, wonderful ready-madetheme park called black gang
chine.
Baby black gang chine.
I can see black gang chine,black gang chine mean though.

(12:03):
So chine Means a coastal ravine,so it's like it's right on the
sea and then there's a ravinethat breaks into the rock, and
that is what you call a chine.
So black it's the colour of theminerals in the rock Gang, it's
the gangways of the paths, andchine Is this coastal ravine.
My goodness, none of that hasgot anything to do with anything

(12:23):
else other than the things thatI just said.
You can google it, you can comeat me, but that is that okay, I
seem paranoid about this.
I'm not paranoid, dylan.
No, I'm existing.
I believe in my facts.
I've done some thoroughresearch.
I've been there.
I didn't.
I have been to black gang,china.
This is why I'm bringing mytheme park to it, because it is

(12:44):
it's the oldest.
It is the oldest theme park inthe whole of the united kingdom.
It was the very first, the veryfirst one.
Basically, it was founded by agentleman, uh, his name was
alexander, and he visited blackgang as a child during victorian
times, in 1842 1842, dylan, soit's fucking old.

(13:05):
And he went there.
And he went Papa, I will buythis land one day and I will set
myself up an amusement park.
And well, alexander did justthat.
He went back, made himself somemoney and he came back to lease
the land.
Okay and dear, alexander had abet with the landlord of the
land, the Lord of the land, thelord of the land, he said I will

(13:28):
lease this land as far as I canthrow the stone.
And Alexander knew that he couldfling a stone if he wanted to
and got himself a big old leaseof land, because that man can
throw a stone.
And that is how Black GangChime was originally established
.
He was like hey, heck, nay, Ishall make myself a theme park

(13:52):
for the Victorians.
So how did he start?
There was a whale that washedup on Black Gang Chime.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Okay, and the locals.
This is a story that just, Imean, keeps on giving.
It really does, honestly.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
I'm hoping that after this there'll be an enormous
influx of Black Gang Chime,because it's a place that's very
dear to my heart.
A whale washed up onto the seaand the Victorians, they took
the blubber and, dear Alexander,he said, ha, this shall be one
of my first amusements.
And he painted the bones and hetook them to the black gang
chine.
And they are still there tothis day.
Those whale bones are in blackgang chine.

(14:28):
You could get yourself on aflight right now and go all the
way down to the isle of wightand you can go wow, that man
that threw that stone andbrought those bones over here.
They are still here.
So what a man, what a man.
So you've got the oldest andyou've got the oldest theme park
in the whole of the uk and, inmy opinion, one of the one of
the humblest.

(14:48):
Yeah, so it's got a history of.
You know, there's a bit ofsmuggling happened around there.
Not really much else, to behonest.
As I said, there's not reallymuch going on on the isle of
wight, so the layout of thistheme park is, I guess you would
call it, erratic.
So you go from, say, cowboyland and you wind up in fairy
land and then you get into thisdistrict that is, you're not

(15:12):
allowed in.
Then you have a maze, then youhave a castle and amongst many
things.
So I guess you could maybesurmise it as a slight bit of a
of a cluster f, but in a goodway, dylan, in a way that is
humble, in a way that isbeautiful.
There's a lot of stationarythings there.
There's a few like plasticdinosaurs, I think.
Limited rides.

(15:32):
You would love it, because I'mpretty certain nothing is that
high.
You would love black gang chineagain, dylan, you would love
black gang chai.
So that is where I'm going tobase my story now.
The three words that it givesme, dylan, is plan, greed and
rekindle.

(15:53):
Okay, so later on the story I'mgoing to go deeper into black
gang chai and I'm going to giveyou my plan for it and how we
can be greedy and take more.
That is what's coming up, ohshit.
Now, naturally, we need todecide who takes the first story
today.
And we're going to go back tosorry, we're going to go back to

(16:14):
rock paper scissors.
Okay, because that's that's thesafe one.
Okay, that's the safe way to go.
Or we can go gun carrot.
Let's just do rock paper now.
Look, now it's on youtube.
I want to bring it out to theworld, not whatever you called
it before, because I don't likethat name, but yeah, gun, carrot
and hole what was the other one?

(16:38):
just the carrot and the hole andyou were like just the carrot.
What was the third one?

Speaker 2 (16:43):
come on so, uh, this is bunny bunny.
No, so rabbit carrot gun.
Okay, and how?

Speaker 1 (16:49):
do you do the rabbit again?
What's?
The yeah, so that so do thepeace sign, so do.
The peace sign is rabbit, thegun, the gun and then the carrot
, and for everyone at home,especially on YouTube, explain
to the grand audience.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, so basically you've got your gun.
Naturally, you put the carrotin into the barrel and the gun
no longer works that's how theyfamously stopped world war ii.
Yes, a great supply of carrots,it was fantastic I just watched
bugs bunny do it once and itfucking blew up in.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Uh, the hunter's face in elmer thud's face, you know,
and that's how Bugs Bunny doesit.
Okay, so carrot beats gun Gun,I guess.
Beats Beats the rabbit, beatsthe rabbit and the rabbit, yep
obviously Noms on that carrot.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Okay, so we have it all the way around.
So Right, pistol.
Okay, so no, I put my carrotthere Like you just put up your
pistol.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
So was like yeah, okay, so dylan goes first.
There we go, we have it.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
No, that's not drop it down low.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Three word story all right, okay, shit, bamboozled
myself over there um drop itdown low.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Three word story yeah , so I said egypt I heard that
you did say that, yeah, rightspecifically the pyramids of
giza.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
And uh, it's not like I've got.
I've never been there before,don't know what it's like, but I
felt like you know what, itwould be cool to have this
historic theme and I thought, ah, okay, well, let's go.
I mean, where shall I make thetheme park?
Should be the coliseum?
Should it be um?
Should be ancient egypt?

(18:36):
Can we go up north?
I don't know.
But yeah, I figured, let me,let me play around with the,
with the pyramids.
So you went, pyramids orcoliseum so you embodied
yourself.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
yeah, you thought right, I, I me, dylan.
You sat there, you crossed yourlegs, you did the old peace
signs and you go, hmm, and youchannel your inner self, where
depicts me more than anything,and you instantly went to
Pyramids of Giza and Colosseum.
Wow, wow, dylan.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
That's a great way to see yourself.
Yalla, let's go.
Okay, so then?

Speaker 1 (19:04):
you decided to go to the Great Pyramids because that
embodies you more than anywherein the world.
Is what you're saying?
No?

Speaker 2 (19:11):
but I thought it might be a good selling point,
Like it's the pyramids.
So I figured the grandeur ofthe pyramids was like okay sure,
let's use that, because it'skind of the biggest ancient
thing, because I did want toincorporate history into it,
like the biggest ancient thing,that I did want to incorporate
history into it, like thebiggest ancient thing, uh, that

(19:32):
I could create buzz around andthen why not make roller
coasters going, uh, going aroundit, the things you hate so much
?

Speaker 1 (19:37):
but I mean you're painting the image in my mind
that hopefully you will developand flick your imaginary
paintbrush all over the placeand I can see it and it sounds
fantastic and I like the sloganalready it's the pyramid.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
It's the pyramid, you shrugging next to the hey,
listen, if, if people can makean advertisement of got milk,
that is true, and just kind ofthe same with the pyramids.
Considering it has been aroundfor thousands of years, why not

(20:10):
the pyramids?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
And where do you stand on how they were made,
Dylan?

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Was it aliens?

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
Okay, good, now moving on.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Okay.
So yeah, it was the aliensMoving on, because I don't want
to speak about who else may havebuilt it, so I'm going to stick
with aliens, right?
You were like oh, it's theMayans, yeah, it could have been
.
They could have flown over withtheir calendar, which was wrong
, by the way.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Mayans, yeah, 2012 yeah, one of the best years of
my life, yeah was it whathappened?
What happened?
Oh no, right, anyway, dylan.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Yeah sorry drop it down low.
Three word story what happened?
What's your three words?
What's your story words?
What's your story Coming at?

Speaker 2 (20:48):
you, marge.
So Anubis Kingdom Deep in theheart of Egypt and I will
slightly read off this as I'mill-prepared that's okay but
where golden sands stretchendlessly and the whispers of

(21:11):
the past linger you havedefinitely read that.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
To be honest, dylan, you didn't have to say that.
You were reading that as soonas those words came out your
mouth I was like that guy isreading, but anyway, sorry,
dylan.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
Well, you know, you know, what is impressive is the
fact that I could read that wellyeah, honestly, I am gobsmacked
.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
When you turned up with a laptop for the first time
, I was like the guy can readand type, and type.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
But now, okay, sorry, right.
So this is not any theme park,right?
This is kind of to helppreserve the ancient I don't
want to say culture of theEgyptians.
I think you could say that Ithen wanted to say that every

(21:58):
ticket purchased 30% of itsprice.
I don't know what the price ofthose tickets are.
I haven't gone that far but youhave the percentage.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
I have the percentage yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
We'll go to local charities In aiding communities
In and around Cairo.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Wow, the virtue signaling is amazing White
privilege saving everyone elseagain.
Thank you very much, dylan.
So there we go.
You're not on the campaigntrail, by the way.
You don't have to be givinganything to anyone in this
imaginary land.
But hey look, this is part ofyour value and if we know
anything about you, dylan, youwill take a piece of pizza off a
homeless person, and thistranslates to this theme park.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Just to show that I do care about that connection,
not necessarily just about thefood.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Yeah, you'll take off a homeless man because of the
connection.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
So about the food?
But yeah, yeah, yeah, you'lltake off a homeless man.
Because of the connection,because of the kind of so
annibus kingdom, I figured, allright, we'll do a bunch of rides
and there might be a, a sectionfor people and um, no, not kids
, but where the um?
I should finish a sentencequickly.
Yeah, you really should.
Why?

Speaker 1 (23:06):
are you sweating so much?

Speaker 2 (23:09):
But no, where people who are scared of heights they
can chill around.
It's called the bar.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, okay, and that's where you are.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
Okay, annabas Kingdom ?
Not for the faint of heart.
Every ride, every corridor?
No, actually, I'm not evengoing to read this.
So I figured let me do rides,something fast, fast and flat,
and let's call it the Curse ofthe Pharaohs.
Then we'll go for the River ofJudgment.

(23:43):
I figured, some scary themed,scary themed.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Okay, River of Judgment.
So what happens on the river ofjudgment?

Speaker 2 (23:51):
um, they go on the river, okay, and they get judged
so are they like?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
so I I imagine like the river is kind of sunk into
the ground a bit and thenthere's like people like up on
the top of the walls.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Yes, and they're just pointing down to you like that
looks like a baby.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
Look at his hair that man looks like he can't be near
kids.
You know all of that above yousmell yeah, not from yeah and,
like I guess, because obviouslyI imagine this to be like an
international kind of park, willthere be like all different
languages just kind of hurtlingabuse at you, or is it just all
going to be in english?

Speaker 2 (24:30):
no, would you like international judgment?
Yeah, international.
So there'll be just some, likeyou know, world class africans
going you know whatever anafrican slander is, and then
some kind of chinese slander,but I figured kind of like maybe
, uh, maybe a lazy river typefeel, but with the, the eerie
element of judgment, andscariness, and scaring and

(24:52):
scariness, how do you?
Provide the scary um, you knowwhat?
there's always a mummy involvedsomewhere okay, the mummy and I
think the fact that you arethose are tombs and that's
obviously linked to the dead andspirits of the dead.
So no, I think, by default,you've got, you've got the

(25:15):
history over there, you've gotthe scariness of the dead, or
the potential of the rise.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yes, okay.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Right, and the fact that it actually happened there
where you are now at.
So no, I think it's um, I thinkit's actually a pretty cool
combination of things that uhcome together okay and does this
.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
So your theme park is ?
Is you're really focusing onthe location.
This isn't kind of an innerworking of how you see yourself
no being judged, all right.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
I thought this was getting like slightly dark and a
bit like this is the river ofjudgment and people say that I
suck and I can't speak properlyand I have an R all the time.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
What?

Speaker 2 (25:58):
do you mean I can't speak properly?

Speaker 3 (26:00):
No, this is not you.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
This is just an example of what someone would be
like this has got nothing to dowith you.
You know like nothing at all.
My English is not that good.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
all the time it does come out when I'm drunk, though.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
Yeah, yeah, we know, we know, we know they don't know
, we know that's true, invitethem, invite the people at home
to a drink with Dylan.
You can find out Once he's hada tequila or two.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
And then some maze element.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Amazing, like a walkthrough experience, and if
the walls can shift, maybesomething I'm pretty sure I
can't remember in Harry Potter.
That's funny, thank you.
No, not Harry Potter, indianaJones Okay, indiana Jones,
shifting walls, a maze, and yeah, I think that would be a pretty

(26:53):
cool ride, or kind of like thethe fourth, harry potter, the
goblet of fire, the third, Ithink the third test.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
They go into that magical maze where, like
everything heals over, thingstry and reach out and grab you.
Sometimes you get a little bitenchanted, does that not do it
for you?
Yeah?
I think that does it for youokay, so you would you want a
difficult maze, or would youlike a nice, like easy one?

Speaker 2 (27:12):
around.
No, no, no, I think people whatI thought about and this is
maybe just going too deep intothis and I should probably get
to my story oh shit, we're noteven on your story.
Oh well, it's my story, okay,fucking hell okay, but it's it's
more convovo story, obviouslyOkay, but no, I would really
like it to be a bit morechallenging, what I figured I'd

(27:33):
do, but then people like myselfmight not make it to the end of
the park Like I wanted it tostart at one point, right, and
then it kind of goesincreasingly more difficult or
scary.
Okay, and then you kind of getthe full ride or the full
experience, but then I thoughtabout it, I'm like no, dylan,

(27:53):
because then you'll just walkback out or kind of want to like
not do the you just leave, okay.

Speaker 1 (27:59):
So you're not going to park in your own maze, you
would just turn around and leave.
I think for other people itmight be a good experience, but
for me no.
But would you be confident thatyou?
How is your sense of direction?
So if you went into a maze like, no, I think, I think I can do
that.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
Yeah, okay the maze part, like if the maze, one of
them, uh, but with regards tosome of the other rides, um,
maybe something with water, thenyou've got the uh, like the
lazy river part.
Yeah, yeah and then obviouslythe main attraction the mummy,
the mummy.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
The mummy, okay, right.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
Yeah, that's the ride called the mummy.
The mummy, yeah.
So basically and this is whereI need to start focusing again
so I figured the mummy takes uson a trip, starting down at the
bottom of the pyramid, going upand around, because, yeah, it's

(28:57):
not a UNESCO World Heritage Siteand you can build a roller
coaster there.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Okay, so this is a roller coaster, this is a roller
coaster, this is a rollercoaster.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
This is a roller coaster.
This is a roller coaster, right.
So going up, taking you in andaround just to experience the
grandeur of the pyramids, right,and then obviously the drop.
But what I wanted to do withthat is you have different drops

(29:28):
and speeds at different levels,going down, right, and
obviously you don't stop atground level because it's a tomb
, so you're going to go downinto the tomb, I'm going to go
down.
Okay, we're tomb diving Right.
So each one of these kind oflevels drops into a room and a

(29:51):
story of ancient Egypt.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Oh, this is education .

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Kind of I thought about that.
I'm like I don't know who thefuck's going to want to live,
but if there's, and how wouldthat work?

Speaker 1 (30:02):
on a roller coaster Like um.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
All right, take out your books today.
I think you're sorry, I thinkyou're sorry.
It was Bill Wesley.
Take out your books today.
I think you're sorry.
I wasn't too sure About how youdo that, but I figured maybe
like kind of a drop Stop andthen, if you have, let's say 25
metres Of Slower Right.

(30:27):
You kind of take it in.
You've got the intercom.
Tutankhamen was discovered inthis tomb by the ancient
explorer it would always besomeone that was almost Michael
Caine yeah, of course MichaelCaine would I mean.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Hey, it's your theme park.
Who would you like to narrate?

Speaker 2 (30:54):
david attenborough, but scarier if he could.
If he could, yeah, if he couldmake it a bit like tan, but
deeper and scarier maybe.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yeah, okay, oh, samuel jones is james, james
jones, samuel, samuel jones,james jones I just want, I think
I'm gonna say james, I'm gonnasay james James, james, james,
james, james, james, james JamesSamuel Jackson hey what the
fuck are you talking about?
Samuel Jackson right?
Is that who you said?
No, what are you?

Speaker 2 (31:20):
on about then Mufasa's voice.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Oh, I don't know.
That's your neck of the woods.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
That's Darth Vader's voice, but anyway, okay, right,
we were.
That was completely.
Anyway, wavelengths know it'syour neck of the wind that's dot
.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yeah, darth vader's voice, but anyway, okay, right,
we were, that was completelyanyway.
Wavelengths not on.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
That could be another right with each descent, then
cover levels of history, right,the myths.
They were the myths they weretold as children.
Yeah, might not be so mythical.
So basically it kind of exposesthe darkness of what
mummification is the light sideof mummification.

(32:00):
Yeah, that's probably.
This is probably true.
But well, I guess there's ahaunting element to it, which is
probably true.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I'd like again I don't quote me by this, but yeah
, one will, no, no but I guessyou go from one level of kids on
halloween wrapping themselvesup with toilet paper, you want
to get to the real deal ofpeople hooking out the pancreas
and shoving it in a jar.
Is that what you want?
yes, because I knew they'd dothat yeah, yeah, that's exactly
what they do through the anus.

(32:27):
So what you, what you're saying, dylan, is you want to educate,
I guess, adults and children onthis of how they used to
basically take the dead body ofa pharaoh and they usually they
would be like their late teens,early twenties and how they
would go inside their bodythrough the mouth or the anus

(32:50):
and take those organs out andthen place them in jars.
That, I guess, and again, thesethese thing parts kind of
embody you, embody you as aperson.
So this makes total sense.
Thank you, you're welcome no,it's funny.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
I actually think I missed the whole fucking brief,
even as I as I'm telling my ownstory, because the idea was for
me to speak in a slower voice,highlighting the scariness of
the mummy no, no, look, wealways go off brief, okay, I'm
just.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
I'm just trying to insinuate that your personality
has something to do with hookingup with kidneys and anus.
Um, you know which is kind ofmy you know what yeah and um yep
, and for that I'm sorry, forthat I'm sorry.
Okay, so you want to bring inthe mummies into it, and?
And then what?
So we're going up and down,we're in the tombs, and and yeah
, where?

Speaker 2 (33:38):
are we at now?
It's scary and now I want toput you in.
This was actually supposed tobe the true story, which kind of
made me, as I say, miss mybrief with with my fucking story
.
However right.
So, as people go through thesedifferent levels, I to get to

(34:04):
the final one, called the thechamber, the chamber of the
unfinished mummy, the chamber ofthat's quite wordy title, that
one okay.
Chamber of the unfinished.
Chamber of the unfinished mummy.
Okay.
So you see?
yeah, just because it's faster,wordier, anyway so it's just

(34:25):
just before they get there right, the final drop, which is
complete darkness, right, right,but this is where my story.
All of a sudden, you just hearright, that was that scared me.
Yeah, it's scared a horrificscreech, a banshee like screech,

(34:49):
right, shit.
Right now they people are kindof going busy completing the
ride.
However, this actually scaresthe guests and draws the
attention of even the this, theamusement park staff.
Right, so this was no, I'mbeing serious.

(35:19):
We needed to stop this becauseI was supposed to tell the story
from somebody's perspective,which I never did that's staying
in, that is staying in.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
How do you get to the end of the story and realize
wait, this is from my point ofview.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, yeah the fact that you got that on camera as
well.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Just me kind of realizing being like, and it was
this moment he realized Ifucked up.
Yeah, I mean, look, let's keepit in, because that I liked,
that I liked that a that wasbased on my personality.
Okay, yeah, that is exactly.
Wow.
Did you just?
Did you just, freaking fourthwall, come from behind and

(36:20):
mummify my anus?
Because that was fantastic?
If you, if that was a whole, ifthat was a bruise, then I all
of a sudden fear you because, uh, now I don't know who you are.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Yeah, no, you, because, uh, now I don't know
who you are.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
Yeah, no, um, no, you just fucked up yeah, I just
fucked up, okay, sorry, Icompletely forgot what were the
key beats of the story like.
If you could just surmise it toa few points kind of yeah, what
was it about?

Speaker 2 (36:42):
well, it was.
Normally I've got the secret orthe twist on every end of my
stories.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
So what I wanted to do?

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I was thinking too much about what I would do.
Um, so I had different things,so I wanted to tell a story
about people going on this ride,going on this journey, getting
to different levels, getting tothat final drop, hearing the
screech Okay Right, and even thepeople working there.

(37:16):
It's like that's not fuckingpart of the ride.
So it draws kind of the tension, attention of like okay, well,
shit, what's happening.
And then you have this.
Uh, then they kind of figureout what the screech like sounds
are.
And then they get to thisperson going on the teacup ride

(37:38):
and this teacup ride is pullingway too many fucking g's.
And this lady ends upcomplaining about not being able
or not.
They don't, she doesn't knowhow the park allows people of
determination, if you can callit that, onto this ride.

(38:01):
And this person is like what doyou mean?
And she's like, well, thisguy's clearly kind of special,
just hear how he's fuckingbansheen out on these teacups.
And then they are like what areyou talking about?

(38:24):
He's the manager.
And then I get off the ridebeing like actually I'm the
owner so so you were useless inyour story yeah, so now half way

Speaker 1 (38:53):
through, yeah so you were the special person in your
own story I was the specialperson in my own story.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Telling a story, yeah yeah, like wow, this is.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
This is like a, this is like the recent deadpool
movie we're fourth wall.
We're back in the story offourth wall again.
Oh well, dylan, that was, thatwas, and that well, that was
quite, quite the ride, yeah,which is and now I probably
should tell you how that linksto my three words yes, please,

(39:29):
dylan, how the fuck does itrelate to your three words?
Well, the ticket sales rightrelates to being helpful right,
I did wonder why that uselessfucking piece of information was
, and I forgot that until now.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
So, yeah, that's how that links.
Obviously the ride's got levelsand yes, I, uh, I have the
screech on me on the Arabicteacups pulling Gs.
So boom, james, that's my story.
Use whatever you want out ofthat Well there we go.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Drop it down low with three word story, dylan.
Yes, that was quite the rollercoaster.
I cannot promise the same kindof roller coaster.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Three word story, dylan.
Yes, that was quite therollercoaster.
I cannot promise the same kindof rollercoaster, probably
because there's not so muchdepth as your story.
And look, there's going to besome interaction.
I'm going to need a bit of youas well to help me out, to
figure things out.
So to remind you of my threewords, so you know how they
relate to my story and not yourfucking, whatever that was

(40:33):
whatever that was.
Plan, plan agreed, rekindle okay.
So I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna be up front of howthey relate.
This is not like a plot twistkind of thing.
Basically, we are going to comeup with a plan right now we're
going to go through some rightswith you of how we can extract
more money out of Black GangChyne so we can rekindle the

(40:55):
great success of the Victoriantimes.
Does that make sense?
We are going to discusstogether as corporate bigwigs
about how we are going to makethese rides a little bit more
lucrative for us, and then I'mgoing to package it all together
at the end as a lovelycorporate video that we can then
present to investors furtherdown the line to black gang

(41:16):
chine.
Does that make sense?

Speaker 2 (41:18):
that's fair.
I just wish I knew more ofblack gang chine besides the uh,
the mineral, the chine and thewhale bones dylan, you already
know more than 99.9999% of thewhole population by knowing
those facts alone, dylan.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
So no, I've got the, I've got the rights in front of
you, in front of me, not you allright, okay, because otherwise
I wouldn't know I've got therights in front of me.
Okay, um, I kind of you cankind of guess what they are
based on, what they're fuckingcalled right.
So we're not gonna have, youdon't have the pictures in front
of you and we're gonna think tothink, how can we make this a
little bit more lucrative?
How can we be a little bit moregreedy?

Speaker 3 (41:56):
Does that make sense.
You're happy with that.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
So get your big wig on and let's get greedy, okay.
So the first one is a.
It's like it's just a waterpark, okay.
So, as I said, black Gang Chaiis a bit here, there and
everywhere you go, fairyland,you go this side, you go like
that, okay.
So we start with water force.
Yes, okay, if you get any ideasjump off your head of how you
could make water force a littlebit more lucrative because I do

(42:23):
okay, you take it from waterforce, which is just a couple of
water slides, and you change itto force water.
Okay, what you do?
People arrive into the park andyou lock them in a barren
desert area for 24 hours and youmake the water extremely
expensive.
Okay, but you give 30 of itscharity so they can't come back

(42:45):
and sue you.
Okay, so you force them to havewater.
Does that make sense?
It?

Speaker 2 (42:53):
does make sense.
Do you think that's brilliantSure you know you could get?

Speaker 1 (42:58):
them to like maybe you could supply some like free
peanuts to dry their mouths outa little bit more so you can try
and get the foot full in alittle bit more.
I don't know what other dryproduce that you have back home
that you could supply.
That would really just get thatmouth dry like suck the
moisture so we can force water.
What do you think?

Speaker 2 (43:18):
I like the idea of where this is going.
However, yeah to, I guessthat's what people do anyway,
like these big corporates, orlike the studies on certain
things, or like the studies oncertain things, like they just
want you to spend more and theythey've got certain ways of
doing it, uh, forcing peoplekind of in that we're on the

(43:40):
nose here, dylan, we're on thenose, we're not even hiding
behind it.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Okay, but this is part of the attraction.
Okay, now you're thinking howdoes it relate to me?

Speaker 2 (43:47):
and so am I, because it's now making me sound like a
massive dickhead no, no, no, no,but we just lock them in there
and, yeah, we do the thoughtit's an experience.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Okay, I in my life have gone through some, some
dark days, you know, long daysout in the mountains.
You know we live out in thedesert.
Haven't really been much in thedesert, but I'm sure I'd be
thirsty, right?
So it's, that is an element ofmy life.
You know, going through somesuffering and at the end of it
some delicious, expensive water,and some of that money goes to
charity.
How's about that?

Speaker 2 (44:19):
yeah, yeah, the fact that I can't complain about it.
Yeah, considering it's going tocharity, it'd be like, yeah,
okay, it's money better spentnot necessarily well spent but
it's gone to.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
It's gone to people of of need, so that is, that is
number one, okay but, but aquestion just a last, last
question about this yeah, themarkup on top of that needs to
be considerably higher.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
Considering going away, giving away 30 of whatever
we just made okay, I like yourgreedy thinking, dylan.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
This is, you're getting the big wig status right
.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Up above is a ginormous bulb.
Okay, because, I'll be honestwith you, it doesn't get very
sunny in the isle of wight thatoften, okay.
So we have an enormous bulb,okay, um, and it can be powered
by the tidal, you know the tidalwave outside, so we're not

(45:13):
paying for the electricity.
The sea provides it for us.
So we have this enormous bulbabove.
So it's like a solarium, youknow, just like a turtle basking
on a rock.
The sweat pours down frompeople into a grated floor.
The sweat drops through thefloor into a reservoir the
reservoir.
Dri sweat drops through thefloor into a reservoir.
The reservoir drips down tofill the bottles we just sell

(45:40):
people their own sweat bags.
Yes, Dylan To the followingpeople yes, we do.
We are selling people their ownsweat, and how is the markup for
that for you, dylan?
So we have free coastal poweredbulb shining down on people and
we sell them their own sweat.
They drink the bottles and weask them to recycle them on the

(46:02):
way out, so we just use the samebottles over and over again.
How's that for greed?

Speaker 3 (46:06):
for you, how's that for a plan.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
So we can rekindle their sweat and put the back in
the bottles, and we can rekindlethe bottles and give it back to
put more sweat in it's, yeah,it's lovely chop it down though.
Three word story.
So the next one, dylan, thisone.
This one is not necessarilymaybe more greedy.
Well, maybe you can make thismore greedy.
I can't really think ofanything off the top of my head

(46:33):
that was make the super greedy.
But this is the hall of mirrors, okay, so again, a lot of these
places are kind of on the nose,and this is the hall of mirrors
.
So it is a hall of mirrors.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
I don't know how else to tell you Okay, it's just a
hall of mirrors.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Some make you small, some make you wide, some make
you whatever.
So I guess it can make you abit body conscious.
Is there any way that we couldmake this greedier, for example?

Speaker 2 (46:59):
uh, not necessarily greedier, but hopefully we can
make the normal mirrors right,not even be normal like so.
I want the people over theremore body conscious and then we
sell meal plans just outsidewhoa right, so so okay, so you

(47:21):
post it as like.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
This is a hall of mirrors, the normal mirror, yeah
, yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
So it would be like this is the I don't know one
that makes you short and fat,this is the one that makes you
tall and skinny.
And then the normal mirror isalso not really a normal mirror
so then they go outside and thenall of a sudden like here's a
30 30 day meal plan for you yeah, that is hopefully if you can

(47:45):
kind of disguise it, obviouslynot being like you look like you
could lose some weight, maybenot that upfront about it, but
yeah, if you can kind of mask itin there with I like that.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
That's so greedy, you're getting your big wig on.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
I like it on to do x, y and z.
Yeah, that is proper corporatebig wig style.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
How about this as well?
All right, so you could have.
That will grasp some people.
Maybe some people aren't thatbody conscious, and good for
them.
I'm happy for Dylan.
I would like more people to beless body conscious, other than
other, like you know, unlike you.
How about we have a mirror thatdigitally has like a TV behind

(48:25):
it?
Okay, All right.
So my thinking is this you lookin the mirror and in the TV you
see a ghoul behind you.
Oh shit.
You turn around, there's noghoul there and other people to
the side.
So it's like you know how youhave like those TV screens that
you can only see.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
Once you look directly at it.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Yeah, sure so you have that filter on it, so
anyone next you can't see?
Well, actually is that not?

Speaker 2 (48:49):
how a mirror normally works, James.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
You can see an angle right, Like that mirror there.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
Yeah, but only because it's reflecting off of
that one you can see, right.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
So basically it just looks dark, or okay, you can't
see the ghoul, you can see themirror, but you can't see the
ghouls.
You can only see the ghoulsstraight on right, and it only
happens every now and then.
Yeah, so they'll be like oh, myGod, oh.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
God, you've got to see this.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
There's a ghoul here and it gets switched off and the
person's like uh, timmy, youokay?
Like no, there's, there was aghoul there.
And like then there's like amember of staff there and
they're like tell, no, therewasn't.
But no, they don't have.
These are just mirrors.
Okay, they don't, they're notmessed with.
And then you have a 30-daypsychiatry program at the end,

(49:37):
yeah, so then, and then he'slike, oh shit.
So you know, one of the mates isoff getting a 30-day diet plan
and the other guy is gettingsome psychiatry because he just
thinks he's seen ghouls.
You could go one step further.
Okay, I have like a bundle plan.
You could make a bundle plan.
You can have like a stag doplan or, you know, like a
bachelor party, yeah, where this, the the best man, phones ahead

(50:00):
with an image of like adeceased family member, like a
grandma or something like that.
They build it into the mirrorand then he believes his, his
great-great-grandmother ishaunting him and then you can
really lock down on thepsychiatry.
I really you can really reallyget the price up.
Then, you know, and it's greatfor the stag party, you know
someone being completely fuckedoff the whole time drop it down

(50:22):
low with three word story.
Jonah's whale.
So you know that old Jonah thatended up in the whale.
Yes, so realistically it's justa big whale that you can go in,
so you can feel like Jonah okayhow can we extract more of that
?
Is that actually a?
These are all real rides thatare in the Black Gang Shine wow

(50:48):
you needed to add that extra.
I wanted to do that a while ago, but.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
I completely forgot.
Wow, I wanted to do that awhile ago.
Okay, so I'm thinking tobroaden the market within the
people already visiting the park.
We make this particularattraction Jonah's brothers
whale and then hopefully peoplestill know who the Jonah's

(51:10):
brothers are.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Oh right, I wonder where we were going to go down
the same route, and not for thefirst time today.
We didn't, so you've gone downthe Jonas Brothers, okay.

Speaker 3 (51:20):
So, that's good for a younger crowd, but I guess then
they are now older.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
I don't know, are Jonas Brothers still a thing?

Speaker 2 (51:26):
I think they're back together oh are they In what way
?

Speaker 1 (51:36):
I'm a super fan.
Yeah, that's funny, that'screepy.
I haven't licked my lips for noreason.
Yeah, why did you look into thecamera and wink?
They're not watching.
I hope they're not anyway.
So I went down a slightlydifferent one.
Yeah, maybe we could have halfand half, so on one side for
some one and a half brothersyeah, sorry.
Yeah, there's three brothers,right, anyway, then let's move
on.
I don't want to talk about theJonas Brothers.
I'm sure you can agree.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
I just missed your idea.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Let's move on On one half, all three.
Jonas Brothers.
I think only people care abouttwo.
Right, I think there's a thirdthat people don't care about.
Yes, so on the other side,jonah Hillswell, so you play
Superbad, you play Wolf of WallStreet.
Jonah Hill's whale so you playSuperbad, you play, uh, wolf of
Wall Street and a variety ofother films that Jonah Hill's

(52:17):
been in, because then you havethe comedy crowd and then you
have the Jonah Hill's crowd onthe other side, so they're going
to pay more.
People are going to want to gointo Jonah's whale.
Discuss.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Well, if, if you are looking at what are we just
going down?

Speaker 1 (52:37):
the, the tangent of jonah hill's whale.
No, what we can have like oneside of the rib cage is jonah's
brothers one side of the ribcage is jonah hill, because what
am I?
We're greedy.

Speaker 3 (52:44):
We're greedy and we're trying to rekindle some
custom here?

Speaker 2 (52:47):
yeah, and what am I supposed to do?
Sit there, look pretty.
Next one, next one, yeah, right, so this one.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
I just like your idea .
Okay, we can go full jonah hillif you want to.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
No, I would rather go full jonah hill okay, all right
, we're gonna go jonah hill,then fine fantastic, great,
great, great, right.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Next one, dylan this one's called extinction.
Okay, so there it's a bunch ofbasically plastic dinosaurs,
it's.
It's fantastic.
You should go there.
It's wonderful.
I'm thinking okay, becausewe're greedy, we want to brand
it just like Jurassic Park, butwe don't want to pay for the
branding of Jurassic Park.

(53:23):
Okay, so we have like a similarlooking logo.
Everyone drives around in likejetors, so like rip off Jeeps.
Okay, so they're not actualjeeps and we call it prehistoric
public garden instead ofjurassic park I thought you were
gonna say something terriblewhat did you think I was gonna
say?

Speaker 2 (53:43):
and why you mentioned the jetour car, and then I was
like then you just went for it.
I just thought maybe there's arecurring theme.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
I'm not sure there isn't, there's, I'll be.
Do you know what I'll do?
I'll bleep that out, okay, noone will hear it.
But people, yeah, no, theycan't, because there is no
evidence of what you just said.
There was nothing wrong with itand actually it was really
intelligent and clever.
But I'm going to stick withprehistoric public garden, so

(54:21):
everyone's safe.
So it's going to be prehistoricpublic garden, all right.
Okay, and we are going to.
We're going to animate thedinosaurs a little bit, and by
animate, we're just going to getpeople to climb into the
costumes and wave around,because we want to pay for
animatronics.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Oh yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Okay, so we can have prehistoric public garden.
There's only a couple more,Don't worry.
Uh-huh Hedge maze.
So how do we make it morelucrative Hedge maze?
So how do we make it morelucrative Hedge maze?
So it's just, you know yourstandard hedge maze, right?
How can you monetize more ahedge maze, Dylan?

Speaker 2 (55:01):
Well, I was thinking about hedges and upkeep, but
it's already there, so it's likeWell, you went down a complete
different route.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Here's what I'm thinking, dylan, right, so let's
say three o'clock, people enterthe maze.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
Right, they go into the maze and it's a big maze and
bouncers keep them therehostage you see, when they're
around the corner, out the wayyou seal the maze.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
You seal the maze but you don't tell them they don't
know.
So it's like a hidden, so theycannot like it's a hidden.
It's a long way, so they go inthinking right, you guys need to
go around and back out this way.
Yeah, but they don't know thatit's completely sealed off.
Inside you have kiosks, youhave burgers, you have a hotel,

(55:43):
yes, you have a metro, you havelike a hot and basically you
keep them forever and you justkeep adding people every couple
of days and and it's literallylike a basically a town or a
city and because I can't get out, yeah, and you could have a
university, a school, and it'sjust.
They literally just become mazepeople and they become mazes and
that's what they callthemselves.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
It's just.
It's just the mazes, not not mymaze runners yeah, no, no, no,
that's too cool, no, we can'tpay for those right.

Speaker 1 (56:11):
No no, no, yeah, we're having prehistoric public
garden and we're just havingmazes, not maze runners.
Okay, we're greedy, dylan, weare greedy, yeah, so how do you
think, are we ever?

Speaker 2 (56:21):
evolving maze within, and then, yeah, to keep people
stuck there to spend money,because they are exactly
everything you need.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
So and we will buy the land and we will make Black
Gang Chime its own country.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
This is such a scary place, though that keeps on
popping up.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
No, it's just I'm advertising Black Gang Chime.
You know I want it to beradical because I'm trying to
rekindle some businesses.
I get this Plan, greed rekindle, so we keep them there.
We make kidnapping not a crimeand voila.

(57:04):
So dylan, the next one, nowthis one, this is our kind of
three-word story flavor ontoblack and chai, because at the
moment they have a character, uh, who has their own lawn and
mansion, and this is called therumpus lawn and mansion.
What was it?

(57:26):
What was it?
The big sigh, what?

Speaker 2 (57:29):
what are you not linking this for a third episode
?
Now I was just scared.
You were going to say and he'sgot a cousin called fucking
krampus, and then all of asudden you start speaking in a
fucking german accent again andthen, yeah, I wasn't going to,
but now you've said it now.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
You've said it yeah we?

Speaker 1 (57:48):
we simply stick a k onto the front of it, so it
becomes Krumpus, and then, allof a sudden, we are getting paid
the rights, dylan.
We are getting paid the rights,you see, because we own the
Christmas Krumpus rights.
We've created this character,so we are going to have a
Christmas Krumpus lawn.

(58:09):
That's where a load of goatswill just eat, because he is
half goat, and then in themansion it would just be painted
red like a demon.
So we're going super cheap, butthey have to pay for the rights
of the Christmas Krampus.
So instead of the Rumpusmansion and lawn, we're going to
have the Krampus mansion andlawn, and you can Google it.
The Rumpus is there, but we'regonna rebrand it with the

(58:33):
krampus.
Okay, all right, it's a placecalled fairyland.
I don't think we need to domuch with that.
We're just gonna stick you init.
Pirate.
They already have a pirate land, but I don't want to touch that
either.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
So they have a trust me this place, black gang.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Chine is one of the best theme parks on earth
because it just has pretty mucheverything.
But I'm thinking fairyland, wejust stick you you, and a cute
pair of wings, a little tutu, wejust stick you in there.
I think that'll be enough.
Next one snakes and ladders.
Right, I'm thinking real,snakes, real ladders.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
I don't want to say I don't know what that sound was
I'm gonna sound by that.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
Put that on the uh, the soundboard next time.
Yeah, that'd be interesting towatch.
Yeah, so it's basically it'd beall underground in one of the
caves, live studio audiencethough.
Great idea.
Yeah, great idea.
But we've got to do it beforethe Koreans do it, because they
have some batshit fucking gameshows.
We could get there before Realsnakes and ladders and then
there could be like a bigPerspex screen where there's

(59:29):
like a live studio audiencebehind.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
Otherwise, the snakes are getting the audience to be
a mess.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
So I'm thinking they go down in there thinking
they're going to play snakes andladders, and there's just
ladders obviously going up toget them out, and a lot of
snakes.
What more do you need?

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Yeah, thoughts, yeah, no, I'm just trying to think of
how long this game would last,because I mean loss, because I
mean, um, I think most of thesnakes should just be
non-venomous, non-choky, right,like okay.
So meaning by default, therewill be some venomous, like a
couple, just a couple, yeah, butthe fear is there, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
So the chances of them the dying are pretty slim,
bar a couple of cobras, a cheekyboa constrictor or two that may
suffocate and strangle them.
But that's part of the game,right, we'll just squid game it.
But we won't squid it, we'lljust octopus game it.
Well, whatever, whatever,whatever we could get away with
not paying with the actual um,the rights, and he didn't want
to use the word snake yeah, butI wanted you know what I was

(01:00:29):
trying to do.
Fine, we'll go to snake games,then we'll call it the snake
games and they go in.
Some people make, yeah, but Iwant to.
You know what I was trying todo?
Yeah, I do.
Fine, we'll go to Snake Games,then We'll call it the Snake
Games and they go in.
Some people make it out or not.
Then they get up to the topDylan Guess where they are.
They're back at Force Water andthen we go again.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
And then they go, All the sweat that they conjure up
in that glass box we also usebrilliant to feed the live
studio.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Keep that in mind, dylan.
Now we've got this sorted.
There are, amongst other, ridesthat, to be honest, they're too
perfect to even to sort out.
What we are going to do now iswe're going to put together a
quick promotional video of howthis will sound to investors, so
we can extract the money out ofthem, put them into black gang
chine and then be greedy withour plan to rekindle some money
you got me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Yeah, Are we getting paid like like black gang chine?

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Oh, we will.

Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
We will.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
When this kicks off, when this goes out there, when
this goes ultra viral or we getsued, no, it's fine, right I've
checked with the the black gang.
They're fine.
That's what they're calledthere, because it's called the
place based off the mineralcolor in the rock and gangways,
dylan gang ways, which arepathways, by the way.
Nothing else.

(01:01:45):
You ready, okay?
So I'm gonna start like thispromotional video.
We'll use these videos that isgoing to be up for YouTube so
you can talk to the camera ifyou want to.
And this is going to be to ourinvestors and we're just going
to go down and explain them justbriefly, ok, and it'd be a nice
little soundbite.
Welcome to the three word storytheme park developments.

(01:02:08):
Today we are going to show youan investment guideline to
enhance the beautiful Black GangChai.
The first ride that we have isthe Force Water.
Dylan, please tell our lovelyinvestors what the Force Water
is so.

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
the idea behind this glass box would be to get the
people inside as thirsty aspossible, right whilst
restricting them of water, butthen selling bottled water with

(01:02:48):
a markup increasingly higher,but then using some of that
profit as charitable donationsto keep them from coming after
us.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Thank you so much, dylan.
Next up we have the Hall ofMirrors, where our lovely
consumers will walk down themirrors and they may get a
distorted version of themselves,which may make them want to go
on a meal plan, or they may lookinto the mirrors where they are
haunted by people of their past, meaning that they may want to
purchase some psychiatry.

(01:03:24):
Here are some of the thingsthat some of the people had to
say.
Is that my gran, you can tellthey love it.
So the next up we have jonah'swhale, and in jonah's whale we
will have one side, jonah hill,celebrating the wide range of

(01:03:45):
films for truly cinema's great,and on the other side you'll
have the jonas brothers just to,just to entertain and appeal to
the younger market, which Ibelieve is teenage girls and
thankfully we had dylan here,who is one of our leading

(01:04:07):
experts well, thank fuck you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
You said that instead of.
Actually I shouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
I'd rather take that instead of jonas and next up we
have extinction, where we willbasically take all of jur Park's
logos and branding but we willcall it Prehistoric Public
Garden.
Enough said on that one, Ithink, or nothing.

(01:04:44):
The next, we will have a hedgemaze.
The idea of this hedge maze isto entrap our customers to
becoming part of the hedgecommunity, where there will be a
tax rate of 99% and that theywill be locked into this area at
all times.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
Some of the community .
Members said such things as oh,what overpriced bottle of water
.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
Well, this bottle.
It almost tastes like sweat andhelp me, please let me out of
here.
As you can tell, they arereally happy to be here, and
next up we have the Krampus lawnand mansion, and here we have
our very own Krampus.
Hi, welcome to my mansion andmy lawn.
Come and visit me.

(01:05:32):
I have all my lovely goats,because I am a half a goat
eating all the lovely grass.
And well, you have to wait andsee and see what happens in the
mansion side.
Thank you very much, krampus.
And we have snakes and ladders.

Speaker 2 (01:05:45):
Dylan, please explain to our investors snakes and
ladders snakes and ladders infront of a live studio audience.
Some of the guests would betrapped in a glass box
simulating the real life game ofsnakes and ladders.
Not all snakes will be venomous.

Speaker 1 (01:06:04):
Just to add that element of surprise and also
saves on the markup of buyingsnakes Right.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
Interesting stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
And just to polish all that off, if said customer
does escape and go up throughthe top, then they'll find
themselves back up to the largebulb where they will, of course,
be charged to drink their ownsweat.
Thank you very much forlistening.
And there we go, dylan, that is, we'll use that to get
investors and, of course, wewill enhance black gang shine

(01:06:38):
after that lovely promo videoblack gang shine.
Yeah, that'll be perfect.
Look, and we've we've got thevideos for it.
I can stick some slides over itso they can really get what
we're we're talking about.
Um, we'll just draw some stickfigures on it.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
So those are our theme parks.
What a fever dream that was, ora fever nightmare, I I don't
know if it was because it wasparticularly hot in here, or

(01:06:59):
you're.
You're dressed as I'll just saythat again.

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
What would you want to say?

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
like you.
Just, you look, um, you looknice, uh, and obviously I'm
wearing a large felt costume,which is then making me hot.
Check it out on YouTube.
Wait what you think you'rewearing this.
Oh, you don't usually wear this.
So, dylan, where will we belooking for our next story and
why?

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
The place where?
The location where you wouldhave your last beer, your final?

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
beer.
Yes, and we're not suggestingthat this is like an end of life
thing, because that would bevery depressing.
It's kind of uh, you've fallenoff the bandwagon.
If life's got a bit tough, youknow you need to stop.
You need to stop because yourpancreas is gonna gonna shoot up
and the egyptians might comefor you and pull it out of your
anus to mummify you.
You don't know that, so it'sgoing to be somewhere where you

(01:07:54):
are going to take that sip ofyour last beer on Three.

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
Word Story.

Speaker 1 (01:08:11):
Thank you for listening to this week's Three
Word Story.
If you would like to get intouch with James and Dylan, then
please email us atthe3wordstory at gmailcom.
Send your reviews negative orpositive, or even your three
words, and we'll read them outon air.
See you next week.

Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
Drop it down low with Three Word Story.