20. Debating Cartoons & Karate Shop Hotline

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Classic cartoons like Tom & Jerry, Johnny Bravo, and Courage the Cowardly Dog weren't just mindless entertainment—they were formative influences that shaped our worldviews in ways we're only now understanding as adults. 

James and Dylan dive deep into cartoon analysis, challenging conventional perspectives with refreshingly mature takes: perhaps Tom was the sympathetic working-class hero all along, while Jerry was the entitled trespasser facing zero consequences for his actions? Maybe Johnny Bravo's character wasn't a humorous display of confidence but rather a cautionary tale about delusion and misogyny that would fit uncomfortably well into certain internet subcultures today? And could Courage the Cowardly Dog actually be television's most surreal portrayal of gaslighting—a loyal pet repeatedly dismissed despite witnessing genuine threats?

Between animated deconstructions, James shares a mishap in the desert where his car became stuck in sand, leading to an unexpected rescue by fasting Ramadan observers who demonstrated extraordinary kindness despite their own physical discomfort. This story transitions beautifully into a thought experiment about where each host would choose to have their final beer if alcohol disappeared forever—Dylan's familiar childhood golf range versus James's transcendent Alpine vista revealing fundamental differences in how they process meaningful experiences.

The episode culminates in an improvised segment where Dylan handles increasingly absurd customer service calls at a fictional karate shop, fielding complaints about "face-removing nunchucks" and "assassination-ready rubber guns" with remarkable composure. Their ability to navigate these scenarios showcases the quick wit and imaginative thinking that animated their childhood favorites clearly cultivated.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
What three words.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
And improv the shit out of a story.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today on Three Word Story Panorama driving range.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Double kill.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Um, all right, so we are basically debating cartoons
Fuck yes, I'm in.
Yeah, Johnny Bravo.
What a weirdo.
What a weirdo.
Confidence or delusion.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
And her face fell off .
She has no face.
You, sir, owe me one child'sface and I'm just falling
because I need your help, mrDillon, if you could help me.
Indeed, god save Our graciousDylan.
Long live our Wonderful Dylan.

(00:52):
God save our Dylan, dylan.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
That's rude of him.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
I got rid of applause , so that was all I had.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
For those on YouTube, you can see Dylan is wearing a
very, very fetching crown.
For those who haven't, hence,therefore, I gave him the
respect that he deserved as KingDylan IV.
How are you today, my wonderfulzany friend?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
gracias, james very kingly of you yeah, mi amigo es
pergata mantues me sina.
Anyways, I'm gonna stop.
Gracias, james, very kingly ofyou.
Yeah, mi amigo es PregataMontuez.
Anyways, I'm going to stopright there, hi James, yeah, I'm
doing pretty well.
Good on this Thursday afternoon.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
It is a Thursday afternoon.
Word on the street, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Last time I checked, I mean, yeah, the previous time
that you had to name a date, itwas.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
I think you were awful.
I fucked it immediately.
It was early on then.
I even I doubted you.
I checked the calendar and Ireally hammered it home how
terrible it was.
Well, today we are recordingfrom Shays Dillon today what a
lovely time it is.
I love being wedged between afridge freezer and a fire
extinguisher.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
It's nice, it happens more times than not it's cute,
I like it.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
It's.
It's nice.
It smells fresher than Iexpected.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Thank you for wiping up the jizz off the floor.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I really appreciate that that'd be ridiculous.
I just picked up the socks oh,you're such a space saver, so
you um.
So how's your week been, dylan?
Since last last time we saweach other.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, it's been a busy week.
I've been trying to get somebusiness done.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Busy, busy business.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, so pretty busy.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Okay well congratulations for your
busyness.
I, dylan, on the other hand,yeah well, how was your week,
james?
Well, my week, dylan.
Specifically Sunday, me and mywife Ali decided that we were
going to go out on a journey toa lovely place called love lakes
.
Now we've been there before,uh-huh in there.
Done that, got the postcardright, so it's out.

(02:55):
Done that, it's done that, donethat.
So we've been there before so wedidn't expect any surprises, we
didn't expect any troubles,okay, and we drove up there.
Now it's a mainly like a stonylike path off the road.
So you get to the road and thenit's like another 20 minutes on
like a stony path and I thoughtthat I'd gone the exact same

(03:15):
way that we did before.
Turns out, they went off roadand immediately all the sand in
the world arrived on the roadand I was quite gung-ho with it
and I went straight in andwithin about 10 to 15 seconds,
uh, we were beached and that wasit.
Paul allen, the 4d co-sport,had stuck himself.

(03:39):
I say stuff himself you stuckhim into.
Yeah, so it was truly a no, itwas a double kill, is what I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
I don't know where this one came from but, I've got
a feeling it's gonna stay yeah,double kill.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
So, um, unfortunately , I double killed me and ali and
I got us stuck in the sand.
And then now you're thinking,well, how the fluff did you get
your way out of that?
So the first thing we did iswent to google, as any
self-respecting millennial woulddo that's better than going to
chat gbt.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
So I mean we could have done.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
It would just basically google anyway, I guess
.
And we went to google and wegot this man and this lovely man
was basically specializes ingetting dickheads out of the
sand and he was like I'll bethere in half an hour and it's
going to be 400 dirhams, so,like you know, like a hundred
dollars, which you know goodmoney for just dragging some
dickheads out of some sand.

(04:32):
So I said, okay, come on then,feeling really silly and sorry
for myself, fine, come join us,pull us out.
Then this lovely pickup truckpulled up full of three
gentlemen, and the threegentlemen they kind of stopped
and they looked and they got outsheepishly and I could tell

(04:52):
they didn't want to help but itbeing the very holy month of
ramadan, you could tell thatthey felt duty bound, right so
they were like 400 there yeah,well, no, these guys, these guys
were not the rescue guys, thesewere just three gentlemen, okay
sureoff to the lovely lakes, I
assume, to probably watch thesun set and and break that fast

(05:13):
and have a lovely time.
And for those who don't know,in in the holy month of ramadan,
if you're a muslim, uh, as soonas the sun rises you don't
drink water and you don't eatfood until the sun sets, which
is shit for every personinvolved.
They will say so, but it bringsthem, you know, it makes them
feel grateful and brings themholier.
Yeah to god.

(05:33):
So they did not want to do that.
They didn't want to help us intheir eyes, but because they
were lovely and wonderful people, they felt duty-bound to to do
so.
So they did.
They helped us push the car.
The guy was like, by the way,I'm fasting.
I was like I know you don'thave to do this.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'm sorry for getting you this.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
So out of nowhere and I didn't even see this there
was this like wire mesh withtwigs entwined into it.
Didn't even see it, it justpopped out of nowhere.
So thank you, the powers thatbe, and we kind of dug it under
the wheel and gave it a push andthen bam, we were out and
rescued by these three beautifulmen.
So I want to say thank you.
Didn't get their names, but Iwant to say thank you to these

(06:12):
three beautiful, wonderful menand I hope they have a wonderful
holy month of Ramadan.
And it really shows how lovelythese human beings are and in
your time of need they are, andin your time of need they're
willing to help you.
Uh, even though they are, theyliterally have had no water.

(06:32):
It is in the desert, it'sboiling hot and they now can't
drink water for another five tosix hours.
So, um, thank you to them.
That's the air horn of, uh,gratitude.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
So that basically double kill, it was the opposite
of a double kill.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
So that was the unfortunate, but we felt
gratitude.
After that we turned around, wefucked off, we stuck on the
road and we went to a pubinstead the British way, yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
When in doubt.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
So did you have any other dramas like that?
Did you get stuck in any sand?
Did you make yourself look likea dickhead, like I did?

Speaker 2 (06:59):
No, James, that's my default setting.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
That is true.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
That is so.
That's my default setting.
That is true, no, but I'mtrying to think, no, nothing
interesting happened.
I haven't been too many places,a bit of a work week, but I
venture out doing anything else.
No, I wish I was moreinteresting.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
That's what I want to say that's why we have that air
horn on the board.
So okay then, dylan, so forthis one, we we're going to find
a place on the what three wordsmap and find ourselves
somewhere where we would haveour last beer.
Right, so, not, like you know,we're terminally ill and this is
our last beer ever.

(07:35):
It's just.
This is like, let's say, allbeer has run out in the world,
all beer has gone.
There's a, there's a, there's adictator has come into power.
Um, they, you know they'vetaken over the biggest economy
in the world and they've decidedshit against our will, but
everyone seems to follow itanyway, because that's just the
world that we were apparently inat this time, and they say no

(07:56):
more beer, so this is the lastbeer, and you want to make it
count.
Right, you want to.
We know that that crisp, lovelyamber nectar going down our
throat really means a lot to us.
So where would you have thisfinal beer?

Speaker 2 (08:10):
and why, james, difficult question to answer.
I really kind of wrestled withmyself for this one because I
wonder what you're doing on thefloor just rolling around when I
have my'm going to have my lastbeer.
I'm going to take away my beer,Dylan.
It's just the scenario.
It's just make the leap.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Get it, take away my beer.
Get it, take away a beer.
So where?
What were you thinking?

Speaker 2 (08:34):
So you wrestled, you toiled yeah wrestled, toiled and
I was thinking, ah, shit, maybeit should be something like
having a Heineken draft inAmsterdam or is it going to be
like a pint of Guinness inScotland?

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Is it Scotland In Dublin, in Ireland, dublin,
ireland?
Sorry, okay, that's actually agood point.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Wrong cultic region.
But I thought, yeah, maybe dosomething like that.
But you thought, fuck that, no,because I know where we
normally end up, or at leastwhere I normally ended up back
home.
So yes, unfortunately I'mboring like that.
I went back home to southafrica because it's one of those
places where you know you'vegot that one friend who, whose

(09:17):
house you kind of always endback at, or like someone's mom's
house, because growing upthat's where you always ended up
.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
Yeah, there was.
There was one guy whose umwhose parents were slightly more
neglectful than all otherparents yeah, in a good way.
We're grateful for them but,probably not for that child's
ultimate well-being.
Um, but they were just a littlebit more.
You know they have thementality of look, if they drink
here, we know they're here.
Yeah so are they neglectful,are they not?
I don't know, I don't know.
I'd spent most of my time inparks and sand dunes, drinking

(09:47):
uh and falling asleep when it'slike you know five five, so you
know so okay, so you've gone tono, I have not got.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah, I've gone.
I have not gone to someone'shouse.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
It's actually not at all what I was going to say, but
no, no, no what I wanted to say, that was just you just went
down the wrong path and you justwent Double kill.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, no, we went, ended up at the Panorama Driving
Range Now yeah, wow, you saidthat again like that Panorama
Driving Range.
Double kill, double kill.
Nice, that sounds good.
I want to go there.
It's literally just a pub 300meters from my childhood home

(10:26):
and uh, yeah, it was convenient.
Obviously I like playing golf,so, yeah, it was normally the
place, despite the service beingutterly shit and it may be not
even, oh, listen, you, you canorder the beer yourself, and it
would still take 10 minutes, 15minutes to deliver the beer.
So, and it would still take 10minutes, 15 minutes to deliver
the beer.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
So was it particularly busy in this place?
No, it was just shit service.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
However, convenience of it being that close and it's
the easiest choice, you know,when you kind of get to talking
like, okay, where are we goingthis time?
And that was kind of just thego-to place because it was kind
of central to everybody's kindof surrounding area and it was
easier just to say, oh, fuck it,let's just, let's just start
over there, plan something forthe weekend and, um, then we'll

(11:18):
go from there and then,ironically enough, we'll go
somewhere and end up back there.
So what I'm trying to get to,james is what I'm trying to get
to is, even if I knew thegovernment was closing alcohol
sales, right, and I'm trying tothink of the best place to go,
I'll probably just end up backat the driving range you do

(11:41):
stick to what you know.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Right, because it has it has personal memories.
Now, did you think about whatthe beer would be?
Because I've just thought this,right, I didn't even consider
what the drink would be, and Ithink further onto this.
Maybe we should put together athree-word story top five beers
that we go by, that we swear by.
Okay, that's fair, because goby that we swear by.

(12:10):
Okay.
Okay, because with there'smultiple things we can take into
account here.
There are situational beers,like you have this beer in this
place.
That's to take into account.
You have pure taste.
Then you have a price pointmaybe, or something special, or
there was a specific time wherethis specific beer was work.
Yeah, the best, okay.
So do you have a favorite offthe top of your head if you were
going to go?

Speaker 2 (12:25):
that's my favorite, that's what I want I know what I
know black label calling, blacklabel calling black label.
Yeah, you don't find them outhere.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
No, I don't.
I don't think, because callingback in the uk for us is is
around the same areas wherestellar is back home, where it's
usually you drink it whilstwearing a vest and beating your
spouse, because that is justgenuinely what is involved with
those kind of people who drinkthat, which is bizarre, because
here I love drinking, stella, Ilove it, like it's just the

(12:57):
perfect round glasses that theyhave here.
It's like, yes, stella, I goback home and you drink Stella,
Stella.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
I punch her in the face immediately.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Yeah, I just can't help it.
And then she takes a sip andshe punches me back.
It's equality at the end of thekill, Double kill.
So you know, and that is just.
That is just Stella there.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
If I was in the UK I would not even put Stella in the
top 10 because it's just too byit, but here, stella, for me is
delicious, like I know exactlywhat it is, and uh, oh shit, and
thus I order it and you have no, no.
So yeah, it's, it's something.
It's similar tasting to stella,ironically enough, and it costs
you.
Uh, it costs you a pound, okay.

(13:37):
So the cost as well is costtaste, and yeah, in all honesty,
it's something that I like,it's something that I've had for
years now.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
So, yeah, it's weird, because that's the same
criteria as how you chooseprostitutes as well.
So that makes total sense.
Okay, so we have right, carling, black Label I can't judge by.
Yeah, stella for me goes upthere only if it is in the.
Stella round glass with the stemthat is quite nice, we went
somewhere the other day askedfor stella and they brought it

(14:06):
over in a heineken glass andobviously I was very polite and
I drank it like a little bitch Iam, but in my mind I was like
this is not, this is not goingto be the same, and it wasn't
wasn't the same, it didn't,didn't it hit right, I didn't
cradle it in my hand, uh, like asmall frappage egg you know,
I'm really appreciating andholding it.
So you know, fuck it.
Sorry, we got two beers.

(14:26):
Is there any other ones?
Because heineken for me.
Nah, ain't doing it for me.
The name is for you, it justseems I don't know if it's
because it's everywhere, likeyou, can you look under a rock?
There's a heineken you go tothis bar.
It's a heineken you go to thatbar.
I don't know if it's likeoversaturated, that it just
doesn't.
It doesn't hit the same.
You know, uh, there was for mebeer moretti.
Uh, you know, the same kind ofsimilar kind of glass hits, hits

(14:48):
right, estrella.
You know spanish beer in spain,anywhere else not so much.
Yeah, I guess beer has asituational side to it.
You know, and maybe the has notbeen tapped into before.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Like, here I will drink this beer, there I will
drink that beer no, I'm, I'mjust a creature of habit and I
stick to what I know.
So, yeah, if there's a stellar,I'll order a stellar by default
.
If there's a black label, orrather order a black label, um,
if you go into the nitty-grittyof no, what about device?
What about the ipa?
What about this and that?
No, not interested in thatconversation.
No, we're not having thatconversation.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
I don't want to like.
It's just it tastes good,though I don't like a heavy beer
.
I don't like a heavy, like deepbrown beer.
Um, I think because obviouslywhen you start drinking beer it
tastes like shit.
Right when you're a little kidand you're like, why is everyone
drinking this?
For, yeah, this is stupid, Idon't want to drink this and I
don't want to even try and drinkthis.
And then a couple of yearsyou're obviously hooked and
addicted.
And then you have a podcast andyou're rating which beers you

(15:42):
prefer.
So I guess at some point in ourlife those beers won't hit
enough and we need to go darkerand harder.
I guess it's kind of the samejourney from smoking your first
joint to shooting up heroin.
I'm sure it's like the beerequivalent.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
What you would assume to be, unless you've actually
been.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
No track marks zero track marks there's no track
marks, I will not touch thehorse track marks.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
There's no track marks, I will not touch the
horse.
Thank you very much.
I nearly I was like why thefuck are you showing that way?
And I forgot you also have acamera yeah, I am recording.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
I wasn't just showing my armpit to your tv, for so?
No, that's the camera that Iinstalled just before you moved
in.
Um.
So, dylan, what three words didthis?
Lovely shooting range, notshooting range.
Golf, golf, golf, range, golfrange.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
Uh, I know you like a good debate.
I love a good debate.
Yeah, cartoons, which you alsolike.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
I do love those things Wow.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
And, uh, you totally like debating and cartoons, so
the last one's totally.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
And is that your story?
You've just related it to meand and double kill.
Yeah, james, so speak aboutyourself for the next 20 minutes
.
Go I shall.
Let's debate some cartoons.
So the simpsons?
I'm joking, dylan.
No, but we will.
We, oh fucking good, right,cool.
So tell us my last beer, andwhy?

(16:57):
For this?
Like you, I'm going back to aplace now.
This is not a place that I havefrequented.
This is a place where I havebeen only twice in my life,
dylan only twice I take you tothe french alps and I take you
to a lovely town called les ushmeaning uh les ush it means it's

(17:23):
um, so it actually translatesto a hoot, and it's where they
have endangered owls or they'renow endangered because obviously
humans fuck it up.
So it's actually a hoot and itis the town of a hoot because
there's lots of owls, owls.
Okay, probably, probablyallegedly, allegedly.
I like it yeah I'm taking youthere, d Dylan, because this is.

(17:44):
I went back into my early 20sand now I'm going to be, you
know, a bit self-cultivitous andtalk about how cool I was when
I used to mountaineer.
That's why we're here.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yeah, that's why we're here.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
20 minutes, 18 minutes left so this is when we
me and my, my gaggle of friends.
So it was my fuck, you neverhad a gaggle you might have had
a fucking chuckle.
This is a gaggle.
I say friends, this was me andmy friend and some, uh some
adult men who decided to take usas with us and not in that way.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
No, I get it.
It's kind of that's a gaggle.
Yeah, that's a gaggle, it'sofficially a gaggle, it's not
that kind of gaggle.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
So we go and we decide so we're gonna go climb
mont blanc uh, the the highestpeak in western europe, and
we're.
So we're going to go climb MontBlanc, the highest peak in
Western Europe, and we're goingto do it the manly way.
We ain't going to just go dumpour stuff at the bottom, take a
load of ski lifts to a couple ofhuts and just go the easy way.
No, no, no, no.
We're going to walk from thevery bottom in Chamonix and we
are going to walk our way to afirst campsite.

(18:42):
There we'll put our stuff andwe are going to walk the entire
way.
And we did right.
Yeah, so on the way up we stopat this lovely chalet and we set
up our tents and we leave ourstuff there and we sleep
overnight and don't think muchof it okay, don't really look
around the scenery because we'redumping our stuff and we need
to go, and we're going to go,stay in another hut and then
we're going to climb up anotherone and go.
And we did that.

(19:03):
So we leave our stuff there, wego, we spend one night in one
hut and then we go up and spendanother night in another hut and
then we make the wonderfulascent and then we ascend down
in one day.
Now, okay, that was a slightmistake, because it was a bit
rocky going up, as in the secondnight we didn't really sleep

(19:24):
because they gave away our bedsand we had to sleep in the boot
room, which was fucking freezingcold, so didn't really sleep.
So we woke up at the crack ofdawn, um, and walked all the way
up, uh, in very, very coldtemperatures, with little sleep,
and got there.
But we got there, half of us gotthere I was one of the half and
got to the very peak.
It was fantastic.
And on the way down we werelike, right, let's get down in

(19:48):
one day, so just down down, downdown.
Now, one of the main issues was, uh, I didn't realize, doing
that on your feet, doing that.
Well, I actually did it on myass for a while, um, oh yeah, so
it was kind of like a slidingdown, yeah by myself, with no
one around me, and I didn'treally know what a crevasse was
at that time, which is a hole inthe in the snow, so I could
have plummeted down and died.
I am here, so I didn't, so thatis fine, um, but anyway.

(20:11):
So go all the way down and andmy face is kind of blistered
from the nose downwards, becauseno one told me that you had to
put sun cream up when you arecloser to the sun.
But it's cold.
You just don't think of thesethings, right, I would have
probably done yeah, so I'mfeeling in like a bit of a bad
mood.
My face hurts and we climb downthis rocky sod and then we it's.
The sun is setting, it is dark,so we follow this train track.

(20:31):
There's a tram that goes kindof part of the way up and we're
following it down and it's likehour after hour after hour.
I feel like crying because Iknow I'm fucking in the middle
of nowhere.
I have no idea where ourite is.
It's like two o'clock in themorning.
My actual friend that I waswith was already down, like he
was one of the ones whounfortunately didn't make it.
It went the next year.

(20:51):
So I was like with these peopleI didn't really know that well
and I was like I felt sick, myface hurt because it was like
blistered and sunburned and Iwas just so fucking miserable
that used to be sad horn so Ijust thought I'd press the
button.
It used to be sad horn, sowe'll deal with laugh instead.
Now 15, yeah, eventually, Ithink a half, two, three o'clock

(21:13):
in the morning, we see thechalet.
Oh my god, there's the tent.
The absolute relief waspalpable.
Oh my god, thank god, climbinto bed straight away like just
gone, and then sun rises in themorning somebody sing to your
way nearly.

(21:34):
Yeah, no, that was like again.
If that was on the soundboard,that's what I would have had.
So I'm gonna partly be thesoundboard.
Sure, wake up, get out the tentand gloriously beautiful day.
It is sensational.
Now I'm going to paint thepicture for you.
There's a chalet, beautifulfrench alpine design chalet, uh
like two, two up, two down kindof style, and in front of there

(21:56):
is a couple of benches and infront of that is this little,
it's a little fountain thatlooks like one of those kind of
pumps uh, like we used to pumpthe woods, and it's just
trickling out of there into atrough really gently.
And when you sit on the, it's alittle fountain that looks like
one of those kind of pumps,like we used to pump the water,
and it's just trickling out ofthere into a trough really
gently.
And when you sit on the benchand you're looking at this
trough, you look down into thisgorgeous valley.
So you see the mountains turninto rolling green hills and you

(22:17):
see smattering of chalets andyou see a stream and trees.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
And it's truly picturesque.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
And then we sit down down and the lady comes over,
and then she also pretends tospeak french is what I asked for
and I have this delicious,incredibly crisp ice, chilled
coca-cola.
Sipping this as I'm looking downthis valley and then, all of a
sudden, 10 to 12 people, frenchpeople, come from the village

(22:49):
and they stand there and theyhave their books open and they
softly sing some beautiful hymnsin french.
I mean, they could have beensummoning cthulhu, for all I
know, but they were just softlysinging as, drinking this
beautiful coca-cola, lookingdown this valley and I thought
are you?

Speaker 2 (23:08):
sure you haven't died yet, though no, I was like, oh,
I'm dead, yeah, no I've thought, oh shit, I've died and now
this is heaven.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Yeah, plot twist, I didn't.
I didn't die, I just singedhalf of my face off and and
burnt it heavily.
But this was like heavenly,like this little, this little
snippet, and I've spent probablyan hour and a half on a what
three words trying to find wherethis actual place was.
And it became an obsessionbecause I want to go there again

(23:36):
one day.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
I want to know where heaven is.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
I want to have a beer there, because I didn't have a
beer there.
But if I was gonna have, I getyou my last beer.
Yeah, that's where I would besitting, and in, let's say, a
san miguel glass.
Let's say san miguel, becausethese are the last good beers
I've had in that glass, my handcupped underneath it like a,
like a soft bosom, and then justsipping that as I look into the

(23:59):
valley, as I hear thesebeautiful hymns, and that's what
I would have.
Double kill.
So I tried to get it exactlywhere that bench was.
Yeah, and I found it, and thatgives me the three words of
hotline melts and Ah, literallyA-A-R-G-H.

(24:24):
Ah, that's interesting, I don'tknow't know.
Right again, I don't know howyou so, again, what three words?
Is a map service that has teeny, tiny little squares on it so
you could locate exactly thelocation that you are in.
So it gives you three uniquewords.
There's nowhere else in theworld that will have these three
words in this order.
How do you get across to, let'ssay, the emergency service on

(24:46):
the other line?

Speaker 2 (24:49):
So yeah, I'm at hotline melt.
Excuse me, sir, can you repeat?

Speaker 3 (24:52):
that.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
Is that a, or is it like a, or is it like a?

Speaker 1 (24:58):
I'm at hotline melt.
Or is it hotline melt?
Or is it hotline melt?

Speaker 2 (25:08):
That was too much A, not enough h, okay, so how would
you do it?

Speaker 1 (25:12):
it was a soft part and you're happy with that.
Yeah, I'm happy with that, andespecially especially okay.
So this is in france, right, soyou speak it.
So is it the same?
You know you're going oh, Idon't know if the french haven't
yeah you know it would be moreof a, so it would be okay, so
you're at hotline melt, orthey'd be like no, no, no,
hotline melts, and they'd be no,so it's oh, and then you're

(25:33):
dead yeah, and then I assumethat the bear is eating you or
the wolves are telling youthat's an interesting point,
though right, because so I alsotyped in panorama driving range.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
but but those three words right.
And it came up close toChristmas Island and that's why
I asked you kind of off whilstwe were not recording.
I kind of asked, well, listen,is it?
Kind of?
So I thought, yeah, how fuckingrandom would that be?
And I was like, no, I'm notgoing to have my beer in fucking
Point Nemo or close to.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
In Christmas Island with like no, I'm not gonna have
my beer in fucking point nemoor close to in christmas with
these fucking huge scary crabs.
Go back, but anyway yeah, it'sfunny.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
It's funny how we can .
It's actually usable, this app.
It's not just to randomizethree words for us to be able to
talk shit for one yeah, yeah,yeah, it's the set, like you
know.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Maybe it's.
The secondary use is the globalpositioning and helping people
out.
The first use is us talkingshit.
I would say, alright, so, dylan, right, we're gonna frickin,
we're gonna gun rabbit carrotout very quickly.
See who goes first one, two,three, go, boom, boom, you
carotted my gun, and then Icarrot yeah, you've gotten.

(26:38):
You've gotten the end of my gun.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Okay, so Dylan what do I do I?
Gotta go first.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
You want to go first, yeah drop it down low with
three word story all right.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
So I always say, let's begin at the beginning and
you do say that you're veryfamous for saying that.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
It's very annoying actually when I try and get to
the end of something um, allright, so we are basically
debating cartoons.
Fuck, yes, yes, I'm in.
Yeah, so first I need toestablish what cartoons you
watched growing up.
So, uh, I'm going to runthrough a quick list of them the
classics, and then kind of thenineties and early two thousands
the Y2Ks.

(27:26):
Yeah, peak childhood nostalgiaright there.
And then some of the moremodern ones, but I I actually
don't.
I don't know them because I gotolder.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Well, that's good.
That's good If you were stillwatching.
I don't know Ben 10?
The Ben 10 wasn't in my era.
I don't know if it was in yourera.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
It kind of touched.
I still did the Ben 10, but theearlier versions.
But just a quick one While weare on that kind of subject
Adventure Time, fuck.
Yes, yes.
Yeah yeah, hell yeah, rick andMorty, rick and Morty, hell yeah
.
All right, now we let's let'skind of revert back to the

(28:07):
classics, um, because we aregoing to debate some of these,
uh, or at least try and answersome some some deeper questions,
because one of my words are oh,it wasn't deep, even it was
totally.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
It was totally, it was totally deep.
Yeah, totally deep, totallydeep.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
All right, tom and Jerry, yes, looney Tunes, scooby
Doo, flintstones, jetsons,popeye, and we'll stop there.
Now, the part that I actuallythe things that I really grew up
watching was um Powerpuff Girls.
Yeah, oh yeah, right, soPowerpuff Girls.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
So I would like.
So it was on uh like cabletelevision Powerpuff Girls, and
I only had that at mygrandparents house and I would
spend most weekends at mygrandparents house.
But yeah so, and I was only kid.
Only child sat in the frontroom by myself.
Wake up in the morning, youknow, watch a bit of wrestling
and then stick cartoon networkon and and powerpuff girls would

(29:08):
come on right, but if I hear mygrandparents coming down, the
corridor.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
No, I'm not watching Powerpuff Girls.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Sugar, spice and everything nice, though switch
over.
No, I'm watching.
Top Gear instead Megas XLR.
I'm watching wrestling.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
I'm watching oiled up , naked men wrestle each other
instead of watching three girlskick ass and a freaking Japanese
monkey.
Oh, that's funny.
So, yeah, I don't know what Iwas hiding from myself.
Well, I was fat and had a lispat the time, so everyone was you
.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
You didn't want anyone to pile on especially not
your grandparents.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Okay, so what exactly are we debating here?

Speaker 2 (29:45):
all right.
So uh, no, I first wanted toconfirm if we we knew some of
these right, considering you do,because I wasn't sure if
cartoon network like if youactually watch cartoon network
if it was more american basedthan it.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Necessarily we had it as long as you had cable tv, so
I didn't have it every day umof my life, but I had it on
weekends around my grandparentshouse.
So these ones I did know, I didknow them fondly.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
So let me let me start off.
Just a couple of questions moreso pose towards you, and you
can kind of go down tangentslike you normally do.
Um start with tom and jerry,right?
Yeah, tom and jerry, I love youlove, love so violent.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Yeah, I mean, look, the older I get, the more I feel
for tom I.
He wasn't a bad guy, right hewas.
He was kind of like a cobra kai.
Uh, fill me in, not not awareof that reference.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Well, uh, like the netflix show, like the karate
kid, and then johnny yeah, right, yeah, yeah, never watched it.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Never watched karate kid, not even karate kid.
No, I'm out of the loop on thatone.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Oh, shit, shit.
So, okay, well, let me let mequickly, quickly, try and do.
There's basically one party,another party, but daniel san
the hero, the Mr Miyagi kind ofside of things, they were made
out to be the heroes.
However, it's not like theother party was a bad party, it
was just.
That was the situation theywere in and for a certain set of

(31:12):
reasons, they had to act acertain way or kind of.
So, the situation necessitatesit.
So yeah, so please go on.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
I'm curious to know what tom it's all right, tom,
he's a house cat, right?
Yeah, he doesn't really getmuch freedom in life.
And then we see, you know, his,his owner, his mother, every
now and then you see the bottomof their legs and and they're
pretty pissed usually prettypissed off at tom, right, yeah,
and as far as I'm aware, theowners don't really want a mouse
in the area.

(31:40):
That's maybe sometimes why yougot a cat back in the day.
Yet this cat always just getsshit from this mouse.
It's his house, he lives there,he lives there and he has been
given permission to live thereby the owners.
This little prick, jerry, right, he's living in the walls, he's
vandalizing the house.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
He can literally go anywhere else, like he's a mouse
.
He doesn't.
He doesn't have to stay in thathouse tormenting tom, or does?

Speaker 1 (32:05):
he exactly.
Well, I'm thinking he does, I'mthinking like.
He vandalizes the, the skirtingboards, makes it a home for
himself, can bury aroundeverywhere.
Poor little tom, you know he'sgood, he's.
He's left with the aftermath ofthis chase, usually involving
overly sized uh, mousetraps,mallets, fire, and then the
owners come back and be like Tom, you dickhead, you fucking

(32:26):
dickhead.
You were meant to do one thinglook after us and protect the
mouse from a mouse, and thenyou'll get hit with a pan,
you'll get chucked outside, andat the time we're meant to be
rooting for this little prickmouse who can be wherever he
wants to little prick mouse, whocan be wherever he wants to
yeah, just because he was funny,just because he had a little
smiley, little fucking grin.
He's basically that kid atschool, right, the naughty kid
who was a cheeky chappy.
He would smile his face all thegirls fancy, because he was

(32:48):
just a bit out there.
A normal guy, normal tom, who'sjust freaking, trying to, you
know, work with the system, playby the rules, get shit on by
society.
And that's my opinion on that,that's my thought on him.
The more I reflect on this, themore I see how the real world
goes.
I think I side on Tom Doublekill.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Boom.
Well then, we'll end it rightthere.
Johnny Bravo, johnny Bravo.
What a weirdo.
What a weirdo Confidence ordelusion.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Absolute delusion.
He um absolute delusion.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
He hangs around with children.
If I remember correctly he has.
He hangs around the childthat's, uh, you know, not a
child, but yeah, kind of hetries, yeah, I kind of guess.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
So he's hanging around with children trying to
um hit on women constantly, yeahlike what is what we now call a
misogynist.
You know, I don't think, Idon't know if it was truly
invented back then, back in thebefore andrew tay, tate People
not using the word Exactly.
I mean the good thing is he's afailed misogynist like Andrew
Tate, so I guess it kind oftracks there.

(33:48):
But we love him because he's,you know.
Thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Why is he Elvis?
Hang on a minute.
Why is he Elvis?
He is Elvis Blonde hair.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Blonde hair Elvis.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Blonde hair, blonde hair albus, and he's like oh my,
my good friend is a child, I'mgonna hang around with this
child as I try and have sex withwomen all the time for some
reason, and now, unfortunately,people have to hear this live on
air, but I remember him playingit cool around kids.
I'm not sure if he was heactually had some character that
was a kid that was around himthe whole time, but I know, yeah
, the pursuit why was the?

Speaker 1 (34:23):
lady attention those things should not be involved in
in with kids around right, likeit should be a separate, a
separate thing.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
Um, and you know, very small legs, if I remember,
huge upper body for some reasonhuge upper body, smaller legs
yeah, and in comparison um sopast, yeah, but then yet again,
also, you look at that and he'llprobably do alright on the
shorter term, like if he had tohave Tinder today, I'm pretty
sure he would.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
You think Johnny Bravo if he had Tinder today?
You're going out on record nowthat you think Johnny Bravo big
upper body, hair quiffed upquite aggressively, sunglasses
indoors, you think he's pullingwomen?
Yes, that's what I think aboutthat.
Yeah, that's what I think aboutthat.
There is no chance.
There is no chance.

(35:11):
Right, he would fit into theAndrew Tate category.
He'd probably go, he'd probablyget on like you know, freaking
TikTok or whatever now, and hewould turn dark.
You know, like back then in the90s and 2000s, everyone's
having a good time, everyone'shaving a laugh.
You know, everyone's having agood time.
Yeah, everyone's so angry now,everyone's so, and he would just
be like, you know, talk towomen like piece of shit.

(35:33):
You know, be misogynistic,women, do what they want, and
then I think that's where johnnybravo would go.
And I ain't subscribing to that, dylan, and I don't think he.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
I think you pretend to do well with women, but I
think yeah, and I think in turnalso that's what would make
women think he's doing well, andthus they might just think,
yeah, let's, let's give him ashot, maybe on the shorter term
okay yeah, very short term.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
And then the human person.
You'd be super desperate andthey'd be like why are these
kids everywhere?

Speaker 2 (36:01):
why are you bringing children to try and help me.
That's not what I'm into.
And then, if you, find outepstein island.
He's out of here next onescooby-doo, scoobith, doobith,
doobith, um um.
Look, you can kind of give theuh, your just of it, but I think

(36:21):
we know where this one is going, james I agree.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
So I know this might be an obvious tract of
conversation, but let me tellyou about one of the greatest
parody pornos ever made in thehistory of pornography.
Okay, now I'm not going to gettoo graphic about it, but this,
this, this was a porno.
In the case of the, it was.

(36:44):
I kind of watched it all theway to the end, uh, and enjoyed
the story enjoyed the.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
It's just for research.
It was, it was, it was.
You know, it was a clickingaround a girl.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
oh, this looks zany, and this is me turning my laptop
just just search.
But the casting Dylan wasphenomenal.
I truly believe that I waswatching Fred in Velma and Velma
in Daphne, and with a bit ofShaggy on top, I will go on
record and say there was noScooby-Doo.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
There was no Scooby-Doo.
It wasn't that kind yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
He was just out in the yard watching.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Reggie, what are you doing?
Old school?
Go and lick the peanut butterthere's um.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
Okay, so basic question Daphne or Velma?

Speaker 1 (37:33):
uh, velma, because you know like how in.
Scooby Doo.
The movie the um the liveaction one of the best films
ever made.
You know how she's likedoby-doo.
The movie the um, the the liveaction one of the best films
ever made.
You know how she's like dorkyat the beginning and then
something happens to do with theuh, the evilness that turns her
into sexy velma, where she'swearing tight clothes all of a
sudden.
That's very sexy.
That's the second one, yeah,yeah no, the first one on the

(37:55):
island the first one on the yeahshe goes like and then all of a
sudden she's sexy Velma.
She starts at dorky Velma andthen she's sexy Velma and she's
very much naturally sexy Velmain the.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
In the dorky kind of way In the porno, in the actual
porno, so these all relate toeach other.
So on Spooky Island, on SpookyIsland.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Look, we'll watch it apartment will sit together on
your weirdly uncomfortable sofanext to each other, and we'll
watch.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
We'll watch scooby-doo number one, which is.
It is one of the best.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
It is one of them.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Yeah, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, it really is
scrappy do ends up being the badguy, which again is a great
point, rowan adkinson, though.
What the fuck were theythinking in the cartoon when
they bought scrappy do into it?
Who thought?
You know what?
This is missing completeirritation.
We need the shortest littledickhead to.

(38:49):
You know, the bad guys in thecartoon aren't enough.
We need a consistentlyirritating short ass.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
Pain in the ass to ruin the cartoon yeah To to to
be there for no apparent reason.
It's like paprika in food.
I feel like that's the title.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
Scrappy do is paprika .
Well, I I like every singletime it'd come on to boomerang.
It would be on scooby dooby, do100 that's.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
That's the two that I switched to.
It was three 303 and 302 and 30.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
I think was when the Disney channel came out, and
that's kind of where I sit wellaway from Disney channel I think
I already knew there was weirdshit going on there and as soon
as Scooby-Doo would come on andthen you'd hear uncle Scooby bam
straight off that done Getfucked, scrappy, do get fucked.
But he didn't actually on theporno parody, it was only humans

(39:42):
, only humans involved.
They caught the bad guy andnaturally they all had an orgy
at the end.
It was fantastic.
Well, directed to whoever thatwas.
Shout out to whoever that was.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Okay, so that was.
I think we've coveredScooby-Doo pretty
comprehensively.
I do think so, actually, yeahyeah.
Okay, we might touch on, by theway, this moustache on, it goes
down.
Yeah, yeah, it's actuallysomebody else.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
I can't help it I can't I put this mustache on.
I just cannot stop talkingabout the high inversions of
pornography.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
Listen but honestly it suits you.
I don't know if it's the wholenew fresh cut.
Yeah, I think it's the shirtthe floor.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Shirt the fresh cut it just works.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
It does work, it does work.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
We'll keep all this camera set up and we'll uh,
we'll see what we can figure outum ed, ed and eddie ring any
bells ed and eddie.
Now, I loved ed and eddie, butI can't really remember why.
Now the things I rememberedited any edited.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
Well, it's, it's.
There's a lot of oh, thatsounds terrible.
There's a lot of d's in allthese eddies yeah, well, now
we've got our next porno parodythere's a lot of d's.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
There was a yeah and there's a lot of d's and I
remember plank yes, jimmy'sjimmy's jimmy's I can't really
remember what ed ed ed didn't.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
He was no, that wasn't jimmy's friend, it was
fucking the other weird guy'sname who had a friend for plank,
a plank for a friend friend fora plant, plant for a friend.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
Um, yeah, I can't really remember what the gist
was.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
I don't know if they were all like, um, mentally ill
or like I don't really come upwith the all the the shtick was
for them to trying to getjawbreakers really jawbreakers,
yeah yeah, but the jawbreakersare actual jawbreakers and they
were massively large, and I'mstill referring to jawbreakers

(41:21):
yeah, but this adds to the pornoscripts, by the way yeah, then
they basically scheme and tryand come up with these different
plans, trying to secure some ofthese jawbreakers, and
everybody always seemed to havesome um, except except ed, ed
and eddie okay, great, this isgoing to work great with the
porno.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
So these like I'm not really into, but you know
there's a market for it so thesethree guys are looking for in
quotations, jawbreakers, um, andyou know, we could just have a
huge like seven foot six dudeand just call him plank well
listen, each, each one of thesekind of you could probably go
into some deeper questions thatmight be themes for.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Okay, let's say, johnny Bravo, yeah, confidence
to lose Tom and Jerry?
A toxic relationship if youwill Very much so yeah,
Scooby-Doo, just a porno.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
Yeah, just gangbang.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
Ed and Eddie is first traces of the rat race.
I thought yeah yeah okay, kindof like people scheming, trying
to get the money, trying to getthings that they think they want
and, in all honesty, with mewatching all those episodes, I
can't actually remember if Iactually got the jawbreakers in
there.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
That's what makes you come in on week by week.
It's what you know you're likeare they going to get the
jawbreaker?
And I said but I cannotremember that, I cannot remember
.
I can't remember them chasingjawbreak.
That seems like such a fuckingit's a girl.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Who ever?

Speaker 1 (42:43):
wants them okay, right so yeah, we can.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
We can kind of uh recess, but this was more I
think on maybe disney disney, Ithink it was yeah, and I wasn't
really okay I wasn't really allover that.
Remember they had like thatrandall kid that you know every
school had a randall, but butthat's kind of what I was
getting at is like a schoolyardwhich is kind of like a
blueprint of where I guess youyou how you'd navigate real life

(43:12):
school honestly, because every,every school had some kind of
bully, some king, I guess, therewas always a fucking rat or
there was always a new kid onthe block or there.
So yeah, they kind of played tothat.
So yeah, I figured it was, itwas.
It was interesting to watch howthey they kind of summed it up
and, yeah, a TJ, he was kind ofthe main character or his group

(43:34):
of friends.
Okay, um, and did you?

Speaker 1 (43:36):
where would you like, if again, I'm not really, I'm
not really, I'm not really up toyou know he's a scratch with us
, yeah.
Who would you say you're mostlike out of all the characters
in it?

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Oh, definitely Gretchen the overachiever, yeah,
yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Oh shit, Say that with a straight face.
I mean, is there any that likeeat sand or throw blunt knives
at logs or anything like that?
There's any?

Speaker 2 (44:07):
characters.
Yeah, yeah, so it was butter.
Knives that are blunt it's not.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Yeah, it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Blunt knives, don't just but no, um again you.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
You'd think you'll always be the cool guy, which I
probably wasn't, but I thought Ihad enough street smarts to get
to where I mean the fact thatyou just said you think you had
enough street smarts instantlyputs you at the bottom of pile
of of cool people, becausethere's no cool people going,
just I think it just doesn'thappen.

(44:38):
Well, that's a terrible accent,though, but yeah, okay, well, I
was I was actually trying not todo the south african, because
usually then I just go on amassive tirade of uh doing
something other yeah, that'sfair yeah well, thanks for that,
you're very welcome.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Um, all, right, then we'll skip recess.
Uh, courage the cowardly dog.
Courage the cowardly dog.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
What a fucking trip of a show I think that has
defined my personality much morethan I would like you know of
just complete, fucking derangedweirdness saying things and
doing things when you should andhow you shouldn't, being
socially inept.
In a lot of ways, it's probablydown to courage.
The cowardly dog.

(45:16):
What is going on?
What is it?
What is going on?
What is it?
What is going on at any onetime?
What is the lesson?
What is the lesson of?

Speaker 2 (45:22):
that show.
Well, like literally just thename itself.
I guess you could take probablysome form of lesson out there.
But yeah, the fact that it wasall these weird ghosts and
creatures, a pink dog.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
That's the soundboard .

Speaker 2 (45:39):
A pink dog.
That's the soundboard.
A pink dog.
And then, um, yeah to to olderpeople that are neglectful.
I don't even have eyes.
Yeah, so, but why?

Speaker 1 (45:50):
is he so, the cowardly dog who, in that
situation, other than thesedementia ridden old people that
don't know what the fuck's goingon and a very aggressive old
man that, just you know, shoutsand beats courage, who would
react differently in thatsetting?
Where you go outside the world,as you know, it has disappeared
.
And there's just this massivetentacle monster outside.

(46:10):
Who's not going to go as hedoes and run back in and then go
to your owner and go and pointoutside and go.
Stupid dog, exactly, you knowyou're gonna.
I don't know if courage thecowardly dog, it's just courage
the freaking gas lit dog,because he's constantly going up
to these people being likethere's danger outside and

(46:32):
they're like there isn't, andthen all of a sudden they're
possessed by some kind of demonand now he's being chased around
the house.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Solve the, solve the cartoon.
Courage, courage, just leave.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
Just leave.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Anyone being gaslit out there, anyone being?

Speaker 1 (46:45):
gaslit out there.
When you know that there'ssomething wrong and you're being
consistently told that thereisn't by a person who keeps
turning into a monster or keepsgetting taken over by a demon,
then leave.
Then you need to leave.
Okay, don't do what courage thecowdy dog did and stay and
maintain the abuse that he hasto.

(47:06):
But other than that fuckinggreat cartoon, what a mental
trip that was like.
How do you get into hi cartynetwork?
Here is our pitch for a cartoondog, small and pink gappy teeth
.
Can't speak't speak English.
Okay, I got you.
Old man, very angry, veryaggressive, probably got
dementia.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, I like this.
Okay, yeah, keep on going.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Next I got old lady, very sweet, but completely
oblivious to everything that'sgoing along.
Right, you get that.
Eyes, eyes.
I'm going to go.
No eyes, no Glasses, though I'mgoing to go.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
no eyes Glasses, though.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
I'm going to give her glasses but no eyes.
Okay, so we're going to assumethat her vision is limited or
nothing at all.
Right, we're going to takethese three.
Right, we're going to put themin a cabin, you with me In the
woods?
No, I'm not going to put themin the.

(47:59):
What the fuck's going to go on?
Well, let me tell you Take thistab of acid quickly.
Just put this bit of acid inyour mouth.
Just put it in there.
Let it work around your mouth abit.
What do you see?
What do you see?
You see that acid workingaround your system, coursing
through your veins.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Yeah, I don't know, kid, I see, see squid.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
yep, floating squid, floating squid okay, yeah, cool,
yeah, we're gonna have thatyeah, and then I think, I think
I I'm changing accents it's theacid.
It will do that to you.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
Yeah, the acid will.
Yeah, we're gonna have squid,yeah, and a toilet monster and a
toilet monster.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Yeah, we're gonna.
That's episode three.
Actually we've got toiletmonster.
That is the pitch to courage.
The cowdy dog and and someonewent after snoring.
The crack that they weresnorting went, yeah go for it
man, and then they put it on tv.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Yeah, look 100 fair, like it's.
It's a bizarre.
But then also things like whatwas that other one?
Uh was not.
Or cat dog or cat dog cat dog.
Cat dog, or what was that?

Speaker 1 (49:04):
cow and chicken cow and chicken was mental that was
probably the weirdest, yeah like, why see red?
And stimpy was like that littledemon guy, yeah, and then
stimpy was like a scrawny littlecreature and it was the cartoon
where they would like theywould draw really detailed,
disgusting pictures of theirfaces up close, where they're

(49:24):
like dripping with pus and sweatand mucus, and it was the most
disgusting thing.
And there you're, there is akid going, that's good, I love
it.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Oh, it's that.
Oh shit, yeah, yeah, yeah,that's right, okay.
Well, you know what?
Yeah it's, it's pretty trippyshit out there, the fact that
it's cartoons, and I think backthen people just thought, oh
well, it's cartoons, it doesn'tlike, doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
Where did they go?
What happened one day?
They were like, okay, the uh,the ceo's just been replaced, um
, he's retired.
And then the new one walked inand he was like why is there
crack pipes everywhere?
Why is there psychedelicdrawings all of?
Why is it glow in the dark inhere?
What the fuck are we doing?
And all of a sudden they justtoned it down to ben 10.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
I don't, I don't know , I don't know what happened
yeah, well, either way, in anutshell, I don't want to keep
you too long um run a quick fire.
Let's do that, okay, 10 seconds, yeah, 10 seconds of you
waiting for it.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Okay, and then we're going to do 10 seconds of it.

Speaker 3 (50:19):
Double, kill it another five times.
Double kill, double kill,double kill, double kill, double
kill.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Right Got it.
So Popeye familiar.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Right, if Popeye had a superpower, what would it be?

Speaker 1 (50:45):
The ability to grip anything harder than anyone else
can in the world, because hisforearms are just busting full
of either muscle or tumors, whoknows?

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Would Tom ever go to therapy?

Speaker 3 (50:55):
Tom, the cat Tom.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Would he ever go to therapy?
No, I think he's too down ahole.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
I think that poor kitten is just.
He doesn't know where he'scoming or going.
I don't think he will.
I think what he will do isprobably settle down.
One day he'll have kids andthen he'll push all that anger
on the kids, and the cyclecontinues.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
If Ed and Eddie considering they're always
scheming had linkedin profiles,uh, what would their titles be?

Speaker 1 (51:25):
what would their titles be?
Um, entrepreneurs is what theywould call, and maybe that's so
general, yeah eddie, eddie orsomething like that, and they
would.
They would post things alongthe line of um, you know,
business is a lot like ajawbreaker, okay you, you have
your jawbreaker.
And the thing is, if you wantto tackle a jawbreaker, okay you
, you have your jawbreaker.
And the thing is, if you wantto tackle a jawbreaker, you're
not going to get it on the firstlick.
No, okay, you need.

(51:46):
You need cohesion consistencyyou need good recruitment, you
need a good hr system to lickthat, that jawbreaker, you know,
and the success is in themiddle of the ball.
We need a team and we needcycle to get to the bottom of
that ball, you know, and that'sbasically how they would
probably link everything to.
So there'll be like oil priceshave gone up.
Well, the thing is, with oilprices, it's just like licking

(52:07):
the jawbreaker Once you keep onlicking it down, and down, you
know they'll eventually go downagain, because that is just
laissez-faire kind of way ofdoing economics, you know, just
like a jawbreaker, just like ajawbreaker, last one, just like
a jawbreaker, you know, last one.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
if scooby-doo didn't have a career at solving
mysteries not that I think he'sthat great at it anyway is what
would he do?
What would he?
What would he do?

Speaker 1 (52:28):
direct.
Obviously that's an easy one.
He would direct porn, he'd getall his friends in there and he
would just, you know, call thebad guys.
The bad guys are, you know,they never committed two heinous
crimes.
These bad guys to really belocked away for too long.
So they're going to probablyspend five years max in prison.
They're going to get out andthey're going to be down on
their luck, right, yes, okay,they maybe haunted an old

(52:49):
factory because they didn't wanta new roller coaster park to be
freaking built on it.
That's not really the mostheinous crime.
So I'm thinking, if themysteries dry up, you know,
people move on, technology moveson.
I'm thinking, scooby-doo getsbehind the camera and and he
gets these guys positioned andhe's a talking dog for exactly I
mean like he's gonna be able tosell it to you.

Speaker 2 (53:11):
You know, like they were ragging each other, and
then raggy ragged relma, andthen relma ragged rafni, and
then rafni ragged red.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
You know and you are going to buy those DVDs and VHSs
.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
And VHSs.
I thought he was just going tokind of what do they call them
Like a guide dog?
I thought that I thought thefact that he could talk at least
like the person walking the dog.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
He's going to guide them into this room.
He's going to rip on your mouth.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
And and walking the dog, who would at least have
more company.
He's going to guide them intothis room, he's going to rip
open your mouth and on that note.
Yeah, that's everything Iwanted to know, james.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Oh shit, oh no, I haven't got claws anymore, yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Double kill.
I like it.
Drop a download with threewords in the story right.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
So, dylan, yes, sir, I'm glad that we have debated
hard and fast all of those shows.
Now I've got an equal to and orgreater than level of making it
up on the spottery.
So, as you know, I had hotline,hotline melts.
What we're gonna do, dylan, youaren't the owner of a business

(54:18):
now.
I believe that you were theowner of a karate shop.
No, oh yes, sir, and are weallowed to talk about this?
There's no like mda about the,the, the karate shop that you
sold.
Are we allowed to discuss thisopenly?

Speaker 2 (54:32):
as far as I know, unless I am, I am open and free
to discuss that until I'm notokay great.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
We'll see if this ever sees the light of day.
So we're going to say you areback to being the owner of the
famous karate shop, yes, okay,so naturally you're the manager,
you're the go-to guy, right?
You're the customer servicedude of this one.
Yeah, right.
So you're going to be on thecomplaints hotline, right, right

(55:00):
, when customers phone andthey're gonna have a bit of a
meltdown at you, right, right?
You know, a bit of a bitfrustrated, sure.
So they're gonna phone you, allright, with some issues, uh-huh
, and you're gonna have to thinkon your feet of how you're
gonna react with these issues.
You know, I would argue that Iwould probably have to think on
my feet to think about what theissues actually are.
Oh, but there's only one way tofind out really.
So you know, I would argue thatI would probably have to think
on my feet to think about whatthe issues actually are.

(55:21):
Oh, but there's only one way tofind out really.
So you know, did you deal muchwith with customer service
issues back in your day?

Speaker 2 (55:26):
yeah, I did, but I I figured I was going to use this
tactic see if it actually works.
Okay, all right.
Okay, all right.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
So we've, we've got some experience.
We've got some experience.
So, um, so I'm I'm gonna phonein, okay, and phone in Okay, and
I'm going to come at you withan issue and we'll see how you
deal with it.
Maybe we'll do a few of these.
We're going to kind of try andgo, mr Miyagi, and we're going
to try, and you know, wash on,wash off Again.
I haven't seen the film, but Ihope these resonate with you, I

(56:02):
think so right.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
so, dylan, you're in the shop?

Speaker 1 (56:03):
yeah, phone's next to you.
Am I dialing someone?
I don't know what's going on, Ididn't know when.
On this, like hang on, karateshop alone, hi, um, uh, is this
the karate shop?
Yeah, yeah, karate shop alone.
Uh, hi, karate shop, hello, um,who am I speaking to, dylan?
Oh yeah, usually that'ssomething you would say when you
pick up the phone.
Um, you're not.

(56:24):
No, not at all.
Okay, uh, well, obviously thisis not great start.
Is it for for customer service?
Well, um, let me tell you, mrdylan, the issue that I have.
I bought a pair or a set or agaggle, whatever you may call it
of your nunchucks.
Yes, sir, I was swinging themaround merrily in my back garden

(56:47):
and your nunchucks that Ipurchased from you hit my
daughter square in the face andher face fell off.
She now has no face.
What are you going to do aboutit?

Speaker 2 (57:01):
No face, sir.
She has no face.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
No face anymore, your nunchucks are faulty, because
it hit my daughter in the faceand her face fell off.
She has no face.
You, sir, owe me one child face.
What are you going to do aboutit?

Speaker 2 (57:16):
Well, point number one, sir.
I just wanted to confirm whichset of nunchucks these are,
because we have two sets.
One is the wooden one.
Actually, I have three sets.
One is the wooden one, theother one is the kind of plastic
one with the chain in themiddle.
The other one is just a plasticone with the rope.
I'm assuming it was the woodenone.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
It was the woodchuck.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
5000 is what I bought from you chuck 5000, that is
4999 more times better.
Yes, exactly that's what youtold me.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
You said to me you said to me, sir, in that shop,
when you demonstrated thosenunchucks, that they were indeed
4,999 better than the originalones.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
I actually am aware of the purchase.
However, the person on thesales floor that day was Jason.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
And where is this?

Speaker 2 (58:10):
Jason.
Well, jason is currently onholiday, so I'm going to do my
best to talk you through and seehow I can help.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
Well, let me tell you yes, yes, I'm listening.
My daughter currently has noface.
She cannot eat, she cannot evenblow her nose okay, so just
another question she has no eyes.
You know, the only potentialthat she has in life is maybe
starring in a live actionversion of courage to carry the
dog at some point.
So please, dylan, tell me howI'm gonna get my daughter's face
back.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Listen, I do apologise for your daughter's
face.
However, this is what theNunchuck 5000 is set out to do
is to obliterate faces.
So hold on.
I just want to ask you wouldn'thappen to have another daughter
, do you?
Let me check?
Hang on.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
Marjorie, marjorie, marjorie, how many daughters?

Speaker 2 (59:05):
have we got okay, right, so I've got 10.
So what can I do?
Okay, so what I would suggestis, if we still, if you'd allow
me, I would like to send you afree pair.
However, it would be theplastic nunchuck set with the
foam uh, foam exterior, okay,just to make things a bit easier
, or at least a bit softer whenthat that blow does land whilst

(59:26):
practicing with the nunchucks,so that this never happens again
.
Sorry, what was your daughter'sname that now has no face?
Felicity, um, yeah, listen, II'd be happy to.
I don't actually want to writea note because she has no eyes
anymore she will not be able toread it or hear it.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
She's now just walking around.
She keeps hitting into a tree.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Felicity Bobaggins says she can't even hear me
because her ears are gone aswell in that case, I can only
apologise and promise you thenext time we will do better and
all the best, with felicity Imean, I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
I'm not sure how much that we have.
I mean, the guy's daughterstill has no face.
That is my.
Only you better get.
That is my only concern youknow the, the faceless daughter,
but I guess he has got.
He has got nunchucks as well,so that's fair enough.
Okay, right, okay, we got it.
We got another call coming in.
We've got another call.
Yeah, yeah, really fucked uphello speaking to the karate

(01:00:30):
shop.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
Uh, we, we, sir, this is the karate shop, uh this is
dylan speaking.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Mrs Dylan speaking.
Bonjour, dylan, I havepurchased from you a gun, a
weapon, a gun, shooty, shooty,shooty gun and I went to
assassinate a man and it did notwork.
It feels like rubber to me.
Why did you sell me a fake gun?

(01:01:01):
I have not been able toassassinate this man.
What are you going to do aboutit?

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Well, sorry, sir, your name is Just before I
Pierre Pierre, I didn't see thatcoming at all.
It's either Pierre or Francois.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
It's Pierre Francois Le Pen.
Now, what are you going to doabout's Pierre Francois Le Pen?
Now, what are you going to doabout my rubber gun?

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
Mr Le Pen, and I do not know why I said that in a
French accent.
Mr Le Pen, I sincerelyapologize for you not actually
being able to follow through.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
I can follow through.
My anus works.
I did not say that my anus didnot work.
I can follow through.
Thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Not to go too deep into detail.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
I just want to confirm who was this.
Who was this man that you were?
He was a very important man.
He needed to die immediately,but I will not name him here
because he would probably launchme in a lot of trouble.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
I was going to say that, depending on who this man
is, I can maybe give you acontact of mine's number, right,
should I feel that yourreasoning is just for wanting to
kill the man.
However, for now we deal withthe situation at hand.
Yes, sir, you are correct, itis a rubber gun.

(01:02:14):
We do not sell the real ones.
That's what my friend's numberis for.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
Why would you sell it ?
You're a pointless fuck goon.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
It's pretty straightforward, so that people
don't actually kill each otherin training.
So people like the Krav Magaspecialists, people like the
police, academies or evensometimes the military use these
as props just for the sake oftraining, so that hopefully, if

(01:02:45):
in case one day they do have thesituation where they are met
one on one with somebody, youare trying to tell me that you
are training people to karate.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Chop a gun out of someone's hand.
That is very silly.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Stupidly enough, yes, yes, it is definitely over
there, out of someone's hand.
That's very silly.
Stupidly enough, yes, yes, itis definitely over there, and
that's actually one of thethings when I used to teach was
yeah, you are.
You are never faster than abullet, so please assess the
situation, but again, we supplyand then you are the person that
should decide whether it isworth using or not.

(01:03:20):
Double kill.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
Merci.
I look forward to hearing thenumber of this assassin.
Merci beaucoup.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
Merci.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
Okay, so do you think you dealt with that one well,
do you think you?

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
No, probably not.
No, no, no.
My thing with angry customersis just get them to talk, right,
have them feel heard.
Is that, does that have them?

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
have them, have them feel heard.
Yeah sure, let's go for thatright and get off the phone and
get off the phone.
Get off the phone.

Speaker 2 (01:03:52):
No, I'm being serious .
Just let them speak.
So apologize, make them feelheard, okay, and get them off
the phone.
Well, that's great advice.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
That's great, okay, oh, we've got another one coming
through Karate shop alone.
Hi, yes, am I speaking to thekarate shop phone over there?

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
Yes, yes, this is.

Speaker 1 (01:04:17):
Hi, my name's Mr Phyllis and I'm just phoning
Because I need your help.
Mr Dillon, if you could help me.
Indeed, you see, I'm lookingfor some geese.
Do you sell some of these geese?

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Um Mr.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
Mr Phyllis, mr Phyllis, mr Phyllis.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
Mr Phyllis.
Mr Phyllis, could you pleaserepeat the last part of that
Last sentence that you arelooking for.

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
I'm looking for I think they call them the geese.
I think they look a little bitlike dressing gown, if you know
what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
Like something that you wear.
That's what it is.
That's understood the gays.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
Something like you'd wear to bed, but you fight your
friends.
You know what?

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
I do apologize for the confusion.
It's just normally when peoplephone.
Actually, I can't go down thatroad.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
What do you mean when they're fighting for the geese?

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
No, honestly, I thought you said the geese.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
I'm not looking for the geese.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
No, I'm looking for the geese.
I'm looking for the geese.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
And I'm not talking about the little white birds
with the orange fleas.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
I'm looking for what looks like a dressing gown.

Speaker 1 (01:05:42):
Can you?

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
help me, sir.
So I know this might seem likean obvious question, but would
you mind me asking what you werelooking to use the geese for?

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
Now, here's the thing .

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
The dressing gown?
Is that mainly?

Speaker 3 (01:05:56):
the reason.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
No, not quite.
I think you're fine is I waslooking to find out if you had
any used geese, any ones thathave been extra sweated in.
You know anyone that's beenrolled around in any at all?
Have you got any of those?

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
mr dealer, I'm really not sure if that's going to see
the light.
Sorry to the new owner, who Istill know.
You know what that is actuallyour most popular department With

(01:06:41):
the G.
Or the used G department.
No, so, mr Phyllis, yes, yes,we actually do.
A lot of people, once they giveup the sport of karate, which
normally has a pretty longlifespan, they feel like they
should give back to thecommunity and for some reason

(01:07:04):
they thought it would be a goodidea to gift some of their older
trained in Gi.
So, yes, I do have a set ofthem.
However, I won't ask any morereason as to why, but if you
were looking for a new set,we've got those for you as
lightweight, heavyweight.

(01:07:25):
We've got competition ready,and then we've got bed ready.

Speaker 1 (01:07:31):
Oh well, bed ready sounds mighty fine.
And what would a bed ready gilook like?
Is it a bit like one of thosekimonos and I'm not talking
about a dragon?

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
It certainly is.
It's a polycotton blend,normally 6535.
It's a twill material and, yes,the white.
The white isn't that practical,that I've learned.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
Why?
Why is that the one?

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
practical.
Well, I guess for what youmight be using it for.
I'm just assuming maybe theblack twirl geese might not suit
, whatever substance follows.

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
Now, sir, I do not know what you mean, but I would
love to know what you'd use abed gi for.
It sounds mad and mysterious.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
No, it's not necessarily.
Let's say, it's all terrainready.

Speaker 1 (01:08:33):
Can I use it in a jungle?

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
You can use it anywhere and any way you'd like
can I use it for 500 bucks can Iuse it in the arctic circle?
I, I would maybe use that as along john in the arctic circle.
But no, sir I, I wouldn'tnecessarily just stick with a gi
I'll tell my friend long Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
Can I use it?

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
down at my local swimming pool More than welcome.
Oh, thank you so much, dylanWell.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
I'll have five of your finest bed geese.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Right, so tallying that up, that's two and a half
grand.
I'll get them shipped over toyou right away.

Speaker 1 (01:09:16):
Thank you very much.
Can I pay in pennies please?

Speaker 2 (01:09:20):
No, sir, I can send you a payment link.
You're welcome to visitin-store and we'll have a card
machine ready, or I guess noteswould be fine.

Speaker 1 (01:09:31):
Well, thank you, Dylan.
You sound like a fine, finegentleman.
It's been wonderful to speak toyou today.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
Wonderful.
Likewise, sir, have a lovelyday.
Bye, well, and how did you feelyou dealt with that one, dylan?
I think I spoke way too long onthe phone.
I just wanted to get it off.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
That's fine.
I mean, like you said, youwanted to keep them on the phone
.
And how did you assess, mrPhyllis?

Speaker 2 (01:09:51):
Did you enjoy him?
He was a lively character andhe was friendly, so no, I had no
reason to complain about him.
I I just always wonder whatthese intentions are with people
purchasing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:03):
Did you have many of those kind of like no question
asks you know I want this gi,you know oh yeah, if people know
what they want, I obviouslysell it to them because there's
no back and forth about it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:12):
But, um, I I've had people call me and be like,
listen, I'm looking for, and now, in retrospect, october month,
it didn't take me that long tofigure out.
But for instance, halloweenwould come up Right Right,
people would phone in, buykarate suits, and then I'm

(01:10:37):
talking about it's not like thecheapest suits, and then they
would buy karate suits in themonth of october because they
want to dress their child and Iwas like that.
That is ridiculous and maybebecause like the kids will come
up for trick or treat and theyjust want to open the door and
be like I don't know what it isbut, yeah, it's a couple of
things, like the one guy, um,like, because you do get

(01:11:01):
characters, especially in themartial arts world.
It's kind of like the McDojopeople, the McDojo McDojo,
please explain.
So you've got people that youcould kind of, you can kind of
assume they know what they aredoing, like they might actually
be legit fighters, whether it bemma guys, bjj guys that are

(01:11:24):
editor, but then every now andagain you got this person who
has probably done three onlinelessons, um, or watched three
youtube videos on how to dosomething, and now they are
ready to kind of buy their gi.
And the one guy just wanted meto.
So he was kind of putting onthe gi, like over his clothes,

(01:11:47):
and he was doing a lot ofshoulder work, I guess, and I
was like, well, I'm okay.
And he was like, can I test itout?
And I'm like wait what he'slike?
No, can I, can I test out thesuit?
And I said I'm sorry, I don'tknow what you mean.
You are wearing the suitcurrently.
He's like, yeah, yeah, you know, but like, take it for a spin.

(01:12:08):
And I'm like, okay, so I'm like, well, the dojo side is next
door and what I had in mind wasokay, there's a punching bag.
So had in mind was okay,there's a, there's a punching
bag so he could throw a coupleof punches, see if it doesn't
restrict any movement.
And he starts rolling around onthe fucking mat and I'm standing
there thinking that's a whitekarate suit and you are just

(01:12:34):
testing that hasn't been paidfor and you are just testing it
out by doing multiple fuckingrolls on the ground, so that's
kind of where I was like um,yeah, that's, that's.

Speaker 1 (01:12:47):
There have probably been some mr phillips, did he
buy one at least um?

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
he bought.
He bought that one.
But on other occasions I've hadtwo russian ladies literally
measure out each and every suitfor probably about three and a
half hours in my store I'm beingserious and at the end of it
they were like thank you, weappreciate your time, and they
just left so they were basicallymeasuring stuff up to probably

(01:13:15):
get it to try and producethemselves like thank you we
have stolen all yourintellectual property, so yeah I
thought that was funny as wellwell, funny four weeks
afterwards.
But what I want to?
Sorry, and then we can wrapthis up.
But uh, what I wanted to sayabout the the first, the first
phone call is me referring tojason is what is what I did on

(01:13:37):
on a couple of occasions wasyour real life make-believe
person.
Make-believe person If I messedup something which very rarely
happened, and then I would belike, listen, I'm sorry.
And then I know, because I'mthe only person working there, I
would know, okay, who Jason is,but if anyone else answered the

(01:13:58):
phone, so everyone around townis like fucking have you heard
about this Jason guy he can't

Speaker 1 (01:14:02):
fucking get an order right to save his life this guy
is a dickhead, but that, dylan,what a guy.
He'll just roll around on youand test the suits out whenever
you want to.
He's a great dude.
That's a great idea.
There's another customerservice tip make up, pick up a
person and blame everything onthem.
Double kill.
So, dylan, next week, what arewe doing and why?

(01:14:23):
Where are we going in the world?

Speaker 2 (01:14:26):
I thought it would be fun if we pick each other's
location, or at least pick thelocation you think the other
person would pick if there was aworldwide hide and go see
competition.

Speaker 1 (01:14:46):
Okay, so I'm going to pick where I think you would
hide, yeah, and vice versa, viceversa.
How about we find those placesand we give the other one three
words, so then there is no,there is no wiggle room, like
you just have to fucking go forit.
And because, look, just yeah,let's face it right, like
usually, we find a place, yeah,and you can skip around a few

(01:15:07):
squares because they're verysmall squares, I mean meter by
meter or whatever.
You know, my rules are yeah,four, the four.
Yeah, fair enough, right, um,but this one, that's fair we can
still find one that maybe wecould be harsh, we could be like
you know, three ridiculouswords.
Or we could find three goodwords that we can, we can play
with.
So today we have debated somecartoons.
Yeah, um, terrifically, orwhatever the fuck it was and we

(01:15:30):
have also totally yeah, we'vealso seen cartoons we've also
seen how it melts when customersare on your hotline in your
karate shop.
Yeah well, well done, dylan sonext week we'll look where each
other will hide in, hide andseek on three word story drop it

(01:15:51):
down low.
Three word story thank you forlistening to this week's
three-word story.
If you would like to get intouch with james and dylan, then
please email us at thethree-word story at gmailcom.
Send your reviews, negative orpositive, or even your three

(01:16:11):
words, and we'll read them outon air.
See you next week.