24. Proto-type or Not? & Kevin Meets Barbara

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James and Dylan return with another improv comedy episode, taking three words from the What3Words app to create hilarious stories with unexpected twists and outlandish characters.

• Dylan shares his weekend story of being stood up at a meeting spot after walking 2km in sweltering heat
• The hosts plan to use South America as their geographic focus for finding their three words
• James selects Suriname to create a business that helps people choose new surnames and nicknames
• Dylan proposes a coca leaf tea export business based on traditional uses in South America
• James plays recently divorced comedian Kevin on a disastrous date with militant vegan Barbara
• "Prototype or Not" game show pits Dylan against historical inventions with a tiger as punishment for wrong answers
• The hosts spontaneously create a theme song for their fictional game show
• Dylan and James receive new nicknames: Dill Pickle and Newsflash

If you would like to get in touch with James and Dylan, please email us at [e-mail]. Send your reviews, negative or positive, or even your three words, and we'll read them out on air.

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
What three words.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
And improv the shit out of a story.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today on Three Word Story Nailed it.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
What am I doing here, Dylan?
You may think you may ask.
Well, with.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Sorry, let me ask, what are we doing there?
Slap me on the ass and call meDilpical.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
This is what I wanted to avoid being Barbara in the
story.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Is it prototype or not?
Oh, that's fear that you've gotwhat came first the mannequin
or the mannequin Dill Pickle.
How are you doing today?

Speaker 2 (00:50):
hi, james, I'm doing picklish thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Okay, so you're feeling picklish today I lived
in pick a lily square.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Do you have you ever?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
been to pick aadilly Square.
No, it was Piccadilly.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Piccadilly Square.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, yeah, so I played so much Monopoly in my
life.
You'd think I would know that Idon't come from London, so I
wouldn't know it for that reasonah, okay, but yeah.
Piccadilly Square.
I don't know how we got here,but hey ho, how are you Dill
Pickle today?
What?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
saying yeah, yeah, another match, all good.
Uh have been been a prettyproductive weekend I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Okay, tell me.
Tell me where has theproductions come from your
productivity?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
productions.
Got a bit of work done.
Uh, trying to help out a fewbuyers of mine hopefully,
hopefully getting to endingstages within the next week,
week or so oh Ooh, real estatetalk with three-word story, and
do you know what that is, dylan?

Speaker 4 (01:49):
Nice job.
One more time Nice job.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
I think we should have somebody screen these.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
for us, this is a good one.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
You're telling me you don't like nice job I'm
surprised it came so early.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
I was kind of trying to play that out, but the fact
you're talking about work andyou did it on the weekend, it's
impossible for me not to go notto go nice job.
Okay, shit, right, calm down,mate.
So okay, so Okay.
So you've been doing some work.
What else Been?

Speaker 2 (02:24):
doing some work.
We were supposed to go to and abit of play was supposed to be
involved Was so, yeah, yeah, wewere supposed to head out to the
range yesterday.
Yes, yes, Kind of sports, cityside, else club side Potentially
having a beer or two afterwards?

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Oh, that sounds exciting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
and then however, for various reasons, I, brandon, I
love you, but yeah, I guessplans changed in the meantime
and I showed up.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Why aren't we recording this, the visuals?
Because I, you know we couldhave seen that Dylan didn't
think that it was a nice jobfrom brandon at all.
There was pure salt on thatface, okay, so they, they
planned yeah, or at least yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
no, it was kind of just uh, uh, we planned the
previous day and I said, okay,that's fine, I'll see you
tomorrow at three.
And that's why I left it,because I figured actually
that's how plans work, that okay, that's fine, I'll see you
tomorrow at three, and that'swhy I left it?

Speaker 1 (03:26):
because I figured I'll see you tomorrow at 10.
That's how plans work and theyturn into a Nice job.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
I love how you just tee yourself up just to fucking
fit in with the soundboard.
Every time it's like what do wegoat?
Yeah, I think that one we canprobably let go of.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Nice, Okay, well, I'm very surprised by that.
Okay, right Now I've rinsed thesoundboard for the whole of the
episode.
Please tell me what happenedand why.
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
So basically showed up.
He was like oh shit, man, sorry, i'm'm still at home, but if we
can do this later, this later.
And uh, at that particularpoint he was like no, because it
just seemed a tad bit too hot.
And I was like yeah, I justwalked two k's to get here, I
don't know it's very well.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
That's where the saltiness came from.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
I think more so from the sweat and also the shirt
that I decided to wear wasprobably the worst.
It was a linen shirt and itlooks like I was swimming.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
But I thought linen was meant to be good for hot
weather.
I see lots of rich peoplewearing linens.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
I can understand that , I don't know why.
But this particular shirt,maybe I sweat-ed it so much that
no material would have workedin that setting.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
So you looked in the mirror and you were like Okay,
well, did you try and call it.
So before you left, you justassumed all plans were swimming,
which I get that.
Do you not try and reach out?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
I did try and reach out a couple of times but it was
I didn't realize.
But I called from my worknumber and as far as I know he
doesn't have that number.
So he was like why is?
Why is this real estate?

Speaker 1 (05:17):
loser trying to call me over again and he was just
like fuck this guy I don't wantproperty today.
Screw this guy.
Uh, well, that's fair enough,that makes sense.
I, if I was him on a saturdaywell, it's sunday today, so yeah
, saturday I probably would havedone the same thing.
Um, actually, in the news,dilla, I don't know if you read
there was a guy, if someone Idon't read oh, that's true, you
can't read.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
I don't know why you're staring at your laptop.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
It's just pictures of farm animals just popping up
and that's why you smile so muchand you look at it and go nice.
So yeah, there was this guy inamerica, right, and um, he was
hiking somewhere in thewilderness and he got lost and
he went out there by himself,but he told people where, what
he was doing, where he's going,so I'm going hiking around at

(05:59):
this point I'll be back at thistime.
And when he wasn't back at saidtime, then they sent out resc
rescuers to try and find him.
Okay, and the rescuers weretrying to call him and because
it was a number he didn'trecognize, he just would not
answer the phone.
They phoned him three, fourtimes, as there's an actual
search party out for him, andhe's looking at this unknown

(06:21):
number and he's like, fuck, I'mlost, why am I going to pick up
the phone to these fuckers?
He would not pick up the phoneto them and then eventually got
himself back to the car, inwhich case the rescuers were
like what the fuck man, why didyou?

Speaker 4 (06:34):
do that, so America Nice job.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Also why America?

Speaker 1 (06:42):
specifically Because he was an American person in
America doing American things,such as being lost and not
answering your phone, and I alsoassume that he had signal and
didn't do anything about it.
What a freaking top topAmerican fella America fuck.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a bad, thank youDrop it down low with three
word story.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
So, speaking of the Americas.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
We're going to South America, the South.
All right, so you came up withan interesting location setting
to find our three words.
So, again for anyone chiming inon episode 24 for the first
time, essentially the premise,how we work is we use the map
app What3Words and we locate aplace which gives you three

(07:32):
random unique words and we usethose words to tell a story.
Now, dylan, you came up withwhat.
What were we going to do tofind our location for our three
words?

Speaker 2 (07:43):
I wanted to keep it kind of location centric,
obviously and then I was likeyeah, no, no no, and then I was
like, okay, let's stick to,let's stick to a certain certain
continent, and I figured, yeah,why not south america?
And then I was like southamerica.
And then, yes, um, some, someillegal activities entered my

(08:06):
mind in terms of businessstrategy.
And then I was like well, findplaces to start a business or
business ideas within.
Okay, it's fine, because youknow.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Central and South America are usually linked to
narcos some drug-relatedinstances.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
I'm not wrong in saying that I mean look for
right or for wrong.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
They're usually linked with, uh, you know, drug
kingpins and stuff like that.
So I've gone a slightlydifferent way.
All right, okay, so I thinkit's the first time we've we've
gone to south america to try andfind ourselves uh, three words.
So it was interesting.
I don't know that much aboutsouth america and this is what
kind of interests me, so I wenton a journey across South

(08:47):
America, dylan, as I'm sure youwould have loved to hear.
Dora the Explorer.

Speaker 4 (08:51):
No, I stayed away from Dora the.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Explorer and and I went to now I haven't actually
clarified the pronunciation ofthis place.
Ah, okay, but to me it reads asSuriname, it's Suriname,
suriname.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
Suriname.
Okay, so they know it.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah, so it's on the top of the South Americas.
Okay, so I have read it asSuriname.
It could be Suriname.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
It could be Suriname.
You just say it in an accentand then you sort it out well,
actually that would be.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
That would actually be the wrong, um, the wrong
accent.
Dylan, it would actually be adutch accent, because the
language spoken in serename isdutch.
That is the official languageof serename, which is on the
very northern peak of the SouthAmerican continent.
So South Suriname is a smallcountry on the northeastern

(09:52):
coast of South America.
It's defined by vast swathes oftropical rainforest, dutch
colonial architecture which Iknow you'd fucking love being
South African, and all your zanyzany language that you speak
and a melting pot of culture,just like certificate.
On its Atlantic coast is thecapital, para Maribo, where palm

(10:16):
gardens grow, near FortZealandia, a 17th century
trading post, and, as I said,their language is dutch.
So there we go.
Did you know that your languageobviously, for those who don't
know is is a lot related todutch and english and french and
german.
Okay, so it's just a clusterfuck, but you can understand a lot

(10:38):
of dutch, right like you canhear people speaking dutch, and
you can.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
You can yeah, I can, I can words.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
So you could go to Der Leename and you could sit
with these people and maybe belike huh, I kind of know what's
going on, which is a beautifulthing, right, like you can be in
Cedric and you could meetsomeone from Central Europe and
you could also meet someone fromDer Leename in South America,
and you maybe will have a brokenconversation with each other.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
That was pretty nice, right, I think it's pretty nice
, and the fact that this is inthe caribbean, I think that's
pretty cool.
Yeah, it's kind of like settingwise, it's like the ideal
holiday destination, and thenyou kind of have some sprinkles
of some other um, like the dutchpast as well.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Exactly, it's, you know, and it's mainly rainforest
, like it's an extremely denserainforest place, um, and I'm
gonna take none of that intoaccount with my business idea so
instead of instead of lookinginto the rich history of the
place, the luscious forest, whatI am going to do is future.
It's basically, um, take thepiss out their name slightly.
Well, not take the piss, butI'm gonna take, I'm gonna take,

(11:41):
I'm going to be inspired bytheir name.
So, as I said, I read this asSuriname, as in surname.
Okay.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
That's yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Now there is a town to the northwestern side of
Suriname called Nickery.
Okay, now in Nickery.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Just be careful, I'm just.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
Nickery In Nickery.
Be careful, I'm just Nickery inNickery.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
okay, one more time in Nickery nice job, thank you,
thanks, man, I love this guy, bythe way.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
He really makes me feel good about myself.
Look, I didn't grow up with afather, so having a guy telling
me that I'm doing a nice job isreally good, and maybe that's
why I'm over emphasizing thebutton.
But Nice job, it's really good,and maybe that's why I'm
overemphasizing the button.
But knickery, nice job Is wherewe are.
So what am I doing here, dylan,you may think you may ask.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Well, with Sorry, let me ask what are we doing there,
Jen?

Speaker 3 (12:36):
Thanks for asking, Dylan.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
Fucking prompting me, you think you'd mind asking.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
You might want to fucking say a question or two,
dylan, and, prompting me, youthink you'd mind ask thank you
very much.
Well, thank you for, uh, forasking that question unprompted.
I appreciate that in a in aworld that we live in now, dylan
, where people are clamberingfor individualism and often that
leads to people choosing uniquenames or names that don't
necessarily fit into theirregion, their culture, or maybe
they name their children aftercharacters out of a show which

(13:11):
is basically along the lines ofchild abuse.
So people shouldn't do that.
So what I want is Suriname, andin particular Nickery, to be
the capital of the world ofwhere you go to choose a new
family name or a new nicknamefor yourself.
So it is, it is, there is,there is pomp, there is ceremony
, and you go there and you arechristened, whatever this new

(13:34):
name will be, or you arechristened whatever this new
nickname will be okay, andbecause I want suriname or
surname to be the kind ofevolution of this, it's going to
be ai powered, okay.
So, sir, uh, what was it now?
Nickery, nickery nice job isalong a river.
Okay, so we can submergeourselves some supercomputers,

(13:58):
so they can be, they can becooled and we can use ai to
power the, the generation ofsurnames and nicknames.
Does that make sense?
So this is my business ideaSurname and nickery.
People come there and it's likethey go for two weeks, they
stay in the rainforest, theymeditate, they hum, they become

(14:18):
a piece and they tear away theirname and everything that's
connected with it.
Okay, so I go in as James Royal, okay, and I, I release my name
.
You know, I, I, I'm not my nameanymore.
I'm not bound by that.
I'm a spirit, I'm an Eagleflowing through the rainforest.
For some reason, and and and,and I approach the elders, who

(14:39):
will then assign me a new nameand I can be whatever that wants
to be, and the elders are theelders or the supercomputer they
are the elders, but there's asuper cute computer behind them,
right?

Speaker 2 (14:48):
this is this is.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
this is new age, right?
So we've got to.
You know, I want to use somepomp and ceremony, but I also
want to use some, some cheeky ai.
So, uh, what I've done is,through the development of, uh,
this ai, because I'm goingthrough this, I've already
spoken to uh, some some Surinameand in in Nickery and we're
going to go ahead with it.
So, um, I've already beendeveloping the AI software.

(15:10):
So, um, I I've already goneahead and gotten you a new
surname and a new nickname Okay.
So, um, I've asked this surnameand nickname supercomputer in
Suriname.
I said, uh, give me a surnameand a nickname idea for a South
African national called Dylan.
He is five foot eight and ahalf, enjoys mid-2000s comedy

(15:30):
films and works in real estatein Dubai.
He loves to play golf and winkat people.
Okay, so, so the surname Loveis a strong word for winking at
people.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Okay, sure, let's go.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
I thought I wanted to be honest and, uh, say how much
you love to wink at people.
Now, uh, the the surname thatis generated.
So, again, this is.
This is this is through pompmystique you are.
You are dylan marlo marlo marloand it explains it has a cool,
smooth, easygoing ring to it.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Fits someone who winks and works and just get me
a new new set of chompers aswell.
Let me go for veneers so, so,dylan marlo.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
so look, when you winked at that woman, she seemed
a bit disturbed.
If she heard that you wereDylan Marlowe, everything would
have changed.
She'd be like.
That would have made sense.
So what did I call you at thebeginning of the episode?
Dillpickle, dillpickle.
So the nickname is Eva.
So it gives us two choices, ohwonderful.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
It gives us two choices.
Choices thought I was off thehook with marlo.
Okay, now we're leaning towardspickles phallic shaped great,
um, happy you're enjoying this.
What's the fucking name?

Speaker 1 (16:58):
so it's.
It's indeed a dill pickle.
Uh, the explanation is playfuland memorable, plus it feels
very mid-2000s comedy, which itdoes dill pickle dill pickle,
it's so yeah, frat boy vibes,it's fine so you have a and the

(17:18):
elders have given you a choice.
You can either have dill pickleor you can, or you could quite
simply have winks.
Super simple, and if he'salways winking at people, it
could catch on easily.
That's what it said.
So are you a dill pickle or awinks?

Speaker 2 (17:41):
I'm leaning towards, obviously, the more normal
sounding one, but I feel it's atrap, right, things are never
straightforward with you, james,so fine Cause, slap me on the
ass and call me deal pickle.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
That's fine, okay, nice.
Well, I didn't want to justsingle you out there and so very
quickly I did, do.
I did do one for myself as well, um.
So it's now do one for myselfas well.
Um.
So I'd say, now do one forjames.
He's 30 years old and works as asales manager in real estate.
He has ear stretchers and likesreading the news and generally
is irritatingly comedic.
He's five foot eleven and ahalf with blue eyes and blonde
hair, would you say that's aboutright.
Yes, okay, cool.

(18:17):
So he said, um, and this is theagain the serename, sacred, ai
powered generation I've beenworking on it said James sounds
like a character.
Here's what I suggest.
So I've released the name Royaland I am now James Huxley A bit
sharp and clean but still haspersonality, fits a sales
manager who's sharp-witted and abit cheeky.

(18:38):
James Huxley, huxley, huxley.
Now I have two options for anickname and I Huxley Huxley.
Now I have two options For anickname and I'll let you decide
which one to go for.
I can either have StretchBecause of the ear stretchers
and also plays on him beingtall-ish I like how it says
Tall-ish, that's bang on orNewsflash, since he loves
reading the news and is probablyalways Dropping random facts In

(19:01):
a comedic way.
So I can either be Stretch orNewsflash.
What do you reckon, dylan?

Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, I think I'd call you Newsflash.

Speaker 4 (19:10):
Nice job.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Newsflash.
It is, then.
So we have Dill, pickle andNewsflash coming to you.
Three word story Dill, pickleand Newsflash.
Right, dylan, what's up?
What was your business andwhere?

Speaker 2 (19:26):
And why, right?
So obviously the nefariousnessof what South America has cooked
up historically with theirtrade.
Yeah, yeah, a lot of that islinked to the coca leaves.
Okay, yeah, right, andobviously the it's been used in

(19:51):
various forms and it's yes, yes,the obvious one might be it's
used to, um, uh, it's used tomake cocaine.
What, what?

Speaker 1 (20:04):
you're telling me.
You are telling me, that was nosurprise that you were going to
be surprised because you

Speaker 2 (20:11):
were sitting with your fingers on the button at
any one point.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
I could be ready for a celebration, I could be ready
for a shock, I could be readyfor a very, very funny time, or
I could be ready for, as we know, nice job okay.
So look, I was prepared forwhatever was coming out your
mouth, and it just turned out tobe shocking that what they grow
cocaine in south america yeahwhat?

Speaker 2 (20:38):
and then I figured okay, okay, um, coca-cola ryan
is, uh also, I don't want to sayfamous for, but that taste is
derived from the coca leaves,true, true, true, which
eventually then got removed, notbecause people were getting
high, but yeah, it was always arisk of, was always a risk of.

(21:08):
So I wanted to move away fromthe cocaine part of things
because traditionally, um, someof the tribes over there um
basically just make tea from thecoca leaves and this particular
tea, um is, is a stimulant, sonatural energy boosts, um
increased levels of focus and isthis actually?
available and is it actuallylegal um it?
It's not legal anywhere elsebesides peru, colombia or then

(21:33):
bolivia okay, well, three-wordstory tour.

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Going is to any one of those places okay.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
So, uh, apparently, if you want to grow it legally,
you need to get it from eitherone of those three countries and
um, apparently the export ofthat is is quite difficult.
Um, in the legalities of okayso not the tariffs?
Then yeah, no, not the tariffs,but the legality but then I

(22:00):
also thought of, like okay, butit really does seem to have
quite a few benefits and itseems like a business that
actually could be a business.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
So does it.
I don't know how much you knowabout this.
You've been very chatty so fartoday, so I don't know if you've
been doing samples already.
Is it basically tea, cocaine,or is it just?

Speaker 2 (22:25):
No.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
It takes.
It takes the the cocaine highpart out of it, because again,
it's um, that is where the humantouch kind of comes in.
That's where they mix it withwhatever fucking bath salt or
whatever.
That's.
That's manmade.
But the natural coca leaf as isis um, yeah, it's actually

(22:48):
pretty good for you.
It's just people don't trust it, but people in those areas have
been using that for thousandsof years.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
So, yeah, I really feel like this has now turned
into a joe rogan podcast.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
I feel like, actually , but what I wanted to say is we
just export, that we start.
We started off in africabecause, um, yeah, or at least
where I'm from it's prettylawless anyway.
So, yeah, we just start sellingit there, okay.
So we're gonna get some there,and I guess like then that moves
it.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
You know a bit eastern okay and we can be, uh,
having some tea around there,nice, and then they drink the
tea and they become a little bitmore fluid, they become a
little bit more spiritual, youknow, then they're feeling like,
look, pre-tu, you need torelease that name.

Speaker 4 (23:37):
You need to release that, you need to reborn
yourself for post-TU.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Then, bam, we get them into one of our tourism
shops, we get that one-wayticket to suriname and take them
to nickery, we get them a newname and they, they, they spend
on treatments of, like yoga andt-shirt, yeah, and, and there we
go, and then we can just, youknow, have a an amazonian cult
surname thing going.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
yeah, sounds wonderful yeah, it's glad that
we can.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
We might as well like okay, so we're gonna have like
this three-word storyenterprises and then I will
branch off into the surname andnickname stuff.
You'll branch off into the notcocaine, not cocaine stuff, the
coca leaf, coca leaves, and Ithink there's a great place to
start yeah then we can do ourtouring show, we can have the,
the krampus musicals, we canhave all of that good stuff.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
You know what's our theme park, jonah?
Yeah, I know we can go buy out.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
Black Gang Shine and we can have.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
Jonah Hill there.
Yeah, like man, we have anabsolute killer enterprise on
the go.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
So, dylan, yes, I'm thinking of a number.
I need you to guess if it'seven or odd.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, it's definitely .
Even it was odd.
So it was definitely odd.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
You will go first for today's three word story.
Drop it down low with threeword story.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Lovely note, all right, so Hualaga.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
River Bless you In, you, in the.

Speaker 4 (25:10):
Oh yeah, that's a point oh fuck, do you know what
we did?
We didn't say what our threewords were it's only the 24th
episode, right?

Speaker 2 (25:15):
so your three words are, and they've taken you where
they've taken me to justpronounce it again hua laga
River in Peru.
Ooh, okay, right, stuck to mythree block radius.
Nice, ended up with note cards,vegans and worms.
So say again Note cards Fromthe top, yeah yeah.

(25:38):
Take it from the top.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
So the three words, so you selected a square.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah, yeah, selected a square Note cards Is one word
Vegans, okay, worms.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Note the fact that note cards is one word is just
yes, note cards, it's just.
It's not note cards, it's notecards, note cards, note cards,
yeah yeah, yeah so note cardsvegans and worms, worms yeah,
okay, yeah, that's one how thefuck you're gonna weave this
into a story.
I am excited and I really hopethat you do a nice job good,

(26:12):
I'll take it away.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Thanks, greg, from the top yeah yeah, thank you,
greg, appreciate it.
Oh, that's how I'm falling intothe story now.
Yeah, I hope so.
Okay, well, all right, so letme.
Let me give a bit of background.
Yes, please, you, soulja Boy,you are going to be going on a

(26:38):
date, james.
However, you won't be going ona date as yourself.
You will be going on a date asa character in my story.
Okay, my wife will be pleased.
That's good.
Yeah, yeah, so, but I havesecured.
I I have kind of bitched outfrom participating in this story
because I've never done thatbefore so I will just be handing

(27:06):
you some prompts and somebackgrounds and I and you just
naturally give me your response.
Obviously, I cannot respondthen yet again, because my name
is not actually barbara and weare not.
It is yeah, it no, no, no no,however.
Okay, no, no, however, so a bitof background to yourself.
Your name's Kevin.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Hi Kevin, you recently got divorced, oh okay,
yeah, it's quite sad.
However, you are now back onthe dating scene but since, like
, it's been a pretty roughterrain out there for most
people and, yeah, you've got tobe aware of what you say and

(27:51):
people's feelings and and andRight, so I will be going on
this date.
And how old is Kevin?

Speaker 1 (28:02):
by the way, and where is Kevin from?
Mid-40s, okay, mid-40s, okay,I'm mid-40s.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Where am I from?
You can be from the UK.
I think I said Thank the fuckfor that.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
Yeah, because I've not prepared an accent at all.
Okay, right, so Kevin, mid-40s,do I wear a hat?

Speaker 2 (28:15):
Oh, that's very important.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
No, a pipe if you, if you like one, yeah, that's
fantastic.
Okay and um, is this a like, aproper smoking pipe, or is it a
bart simpson bubble-esque pipe,you know, because?
That's what people naturally Ineed to clear this up for kevin.
I really need to.
I need to embrace kevin'scharacter and and physically, if
I'm kevin right now and I hadto escape from a fire in a
three-story burning building,how likely am I to get out?

Speaker 2 (28:54):
No, I think you are fairly movable.
Also, occupation-wise, you area comedian.
I made this a bit easier foryou.
I gave you room to run.
Okay, well, the bubble pipewould make sense for a comedian.
Easier for you, Okay, like Igave you room to to run.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Okay, well, the bubble pipe would make sense for
a comedian.
Then that checks out.
And I'm wily enough to get outof a fire and that checks out
why I wouldn't wear a hat,because if I'm going to go get
my hat then I could perish inthe fire, because I'm going to
get my very, very, very valuablehat and obviously my my bubble
pipe.
Right, does that all check out?
That all checks?

Speaker 2 (29:22):
out Okay Brilliant.
Right Now, the person you aregoing on the date with right.
It's Barbara.
We met online.
Okay Interesting.
Okay Now her bio she all thatyou kind of need to know is she
is very opinionated.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
She's vegan.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
And you could stick to that Like you can run
wherever Now, within this, I doprovide some note cards for you
because you, as Kevin, slightlynervous.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
getting back onto the dating, scene yeah, back in the
halls.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
So I'll maybe just read you the uh uh the note card
before you can then choose touse it, or like a dating coach
in this I, I guess so.
Okay, I guess so okay, but um,as, depending on how this date
progresses, I mean I might justfucking chuck the note cards out
the window, who knows?
Okay, all right, mine doneanyway and sorry, who's playing?

(30:26):
Barbara.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
I will be speaking as barbara okay, so you'll be so
with gary won't be okay no,because he's just nice job.
That's all he says so otherwiseit'd be a very good date.
So, no, gary, no, no gary.
Okay, all right.
What do you think about that,gary?

Speaker 4 (30:43):
nice job he agrees, he agrees that was good, that
was a good production.
What's?

Speaker 2 (30:47):
amazing to me is I keep on looking as if, as if, as
if Gary's in the room with us.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
Weirdly, we both do.
I think it's getting a bit hotand delirious and we've had too
many cocoa leaves this morning.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
So that scene?
Um, right, we at the restaurant.
And uh, you know barbara'svegan, right?
You've greeted each other andhaving a sit down now as you are
receiving your meals?
Oh, nice, nice barbara,considering she is vegan and
apparently also a nutter becauseshe's based off of Dylan's

(31:29):
imagination.
Oh my goodness, barbara thankseach piece of lettuce
individually before eating it.
So, kevin, she looks at youexpectantly.
What do you?

Speaker 1 (31:43):
doara, that's a.
That's a lovely thing you dothere.
Um, it's interesting that you,you do that, barbara.
Now, um, are you personalizingyour food, as in giving them a
soul every time?
You, you thank, uh, the thelettuce.
Yes, you are okay.
So, uh, let me get thisstraight.
So, when you look at a, aniceberg of letters, which I

(32:05):
believe is what they're calledin the vegan society, do you see
one being or do you see acollection of many souls, as in
each leaf is its own soul.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
No, I see each iceberg, as they call it.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Iceberg.
Yeah, yeah, it is an iceberg,oh it's an iceberg.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Okay, yeah, that is one berg, it's a collective as
one this is what I wanted toavoid being barbara in the story
now.
I'm just barbara in me I justwanted you to make a fucking

(32:46):
wisecrack at her, thanking herletters, and now, all of a
sudden, I'm thinking out a storyso sorry about barbara.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
You know that is a, that is a lovely thing.
Uh, now, do you, do you not seewhen you so, when you're
thanking it?
Are you seeing a soul withinthe letters?

Speaker 2 (33:05):
knowing where it came from.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Yes, okay, so you would say that you are a bit of
a soul crusher then, because youput them in your mouth and you,
you crush them.
I would assume now, if that'sokay, barbara, because, uh, I
have actually, um, I'm actuallypart of this corporation that
specializes in rename surnames,okay, and we can also do redo a
nickname for you.
So, uh, we can ask the eldersand we may be able to get you,

(33:28):
um, a barbara, uh, icebergcrusher, um, you know, maybe,
and maybe we can, maybe it'll bea nice treat for us, you know,
if it all goes well, you knowwhat?

Speaker 2 (33:36):
I mean barbara.
If it allows me to go on to mynext question, yes, that's fine,
very formal, barbara.
Thank you very much.
Uh, so barbara proudly showsher her vegan tattoo, okay, and
then she asks um, do you haveany tattoos, james?

Speaker 1 (33:56):
uh, funny enough, barbara, I do.
And uh, instead of the, thecasual black ink, uh, I decided
to take the ink from a squid andinject it inside myself.
Now I bet you're thinking as avegan, it's probably a little
bit too far.
Well, barbara, as I thought Iwas just about to bash this
squid's brains in before I eatit, which is the Japanese way of

(34:19):
eating, the Sokonami way ofsmashing a squid skull in with a
rock, a jaggedy rock, I thought, hey, as a ceremonial event,
just before I get my new surname, why do I not take its ink
whilst it looks at me deep inthe eyes and inject it into my
skin as drawing its young?
So it looks at and it's seeingme drawing its young, which I've

(34:42):
already kidnapped, by the way.
I already have it in a cage to,uh, to myself, and I'm gonna
inject his ink inside me to drawout their young, um, before I
eat it.
So, yeah, funny enough.
Uh, barbara, I, I do.
Um, I guess you wouldn't callit necessarily vegan, maybe a
bit psychotic, but hey, I'mkevin, I don't wear hats and I
love bubble pipes.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Lovely to know.
Good on you, kevin.
Thanks, barbara.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
I love your voice, by the way.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
Very nice, right.
So, kevin, the restaurant'sloud, you raise your voice
slightly just to be heard, andBarbara accuses you of masculine
verbal dominance Okay,interesting.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yes, I actually work out my throat on a regular basis
I have.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
They call me the throat goat.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
The elders gave me the new name, so I do, um, I do
a lot of throat reps, I do a lotof a lot of throat squats, uh,
and I have a localized steroidinjection into my throat.
So, yes, it's very strong, youknow.
And look, it's not aboutnecessarily being overly
masculine or dominating you,barbara, I just want a six pack

(35:58):
on my Adam's apple, becauseeveryone has just a standard
curved Adam's apple.
I want mine to look likeCristiano Ronaldo's torso and I
just want mine to look likecristiano ronaldo's torso and I
just want it to be like there.
So, uh, I've even actually youcan see, with the remaining
squid ink, that I had two littlenipples, so that's what, like
his chest would look like.

(36:19):
And then here's the, the sixpack.
So sometimes, every now andthen, I do, uh, speak a bit
loudly, but that's just becauseI have a rippling, rippling
throat all right, okay, that's,that's wonderful, that's really
nice no just

Speaker 2 (36:33):
joking I'm not gonna open that door um so worms I'm
sorry, barbara I've got

Speaker 1 (36:42):
it, you've got it yeah, I wonder why you were
shuffling around in your seat soum.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
I brought Barbara brought, barbara brought uh a
Tupperware of worms.

Speaker 4 (36:56):
Okay, why you ask.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
Yeah, yeah, because now thinking that she's vegan,
how would that work.
How would that work, barbara?

Speaker 1 (37:10):
why do you have a box full of worms?
As a vegan, they seem likethey're in distress.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Barbara please tell me.
Why do you have some worms?
So what it boils down to is themenus aren't always vegan
friendly.
Okay, so I bring out my ownprotein of worms and worms are

(37:39):
good for protein, but they areall dead.
And who killed them?
Probably the fact that theydon't have oxygen in the barbara
, I'm gonna say that's not veryvegan.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Uh, you said that you've claimed you're a vegan.
I saw, I saw you go to thebathroom and cry about my squid
story, uh, but now you have, uh,suffocated a cluster of worms
inside a box.
That seems pretty, seems prettyevil, barbara and also not very
well thought out at all is, ifyou were gonna, if you're gonna,
introduce the word worms intothe story as a vegan, it just

(38:12):
doesn't sound very thoughtthrough.
I could almost say that itwasn't a nice job thank you,
gary.
Yeah, sorry, uh, I bring himeverywhere on dates it's we're
not together we're not together,uh, but he looks after me, um,
after the whole squid incident.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Legally he has to be here.
The court ordered ah,understood well, to get back to
uh, to barbara.
Um, no, it wasn't well thoughtout.
No, not at all.
I know.
I don't know what you want meto tell you.
I thought of making the wormsCome back to life, because I now

(38:50):
have possessed those powers, ofcourse.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
And then also.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
I was like, why bring them back to life, then why the
?
Fuck, would she have worms withher, and even if she eats the
live worms Now I'm like that'snot vegan either.
Just because you it's basicallyhunting insects.
So you know what James?
Next one, Barbara tells a veganjoke.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Oh, I can't wait for this one.
Everything's been so wellthought out already.
I'm sure this is going to besensational yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
Fine, why did the tomato?

Speaker 1 (39:44):
turn red.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it's just therestaurant is going crazy gary
thinks it's a nice job andeveryone else is still laughing
because that was an absolutewhat a barber.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
But she demand, she demands.
You tell one of your best jokesmotherfucker, I don't know any
jokes I literally.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
I don't know any jokes, barbara.
I'm more of a very much on thefly kind of guy, yeah, yeah yeah
, speaking of on the fly kind ofguy, um, why did um the?
Why did the duck blush?

Speaker 3 (40:26):
because it's all.
Because it's all because it'sall duck quacks duck quacks oh,
for fuck's sake oh, that's funny, that jumped to mind we will
not say from where?

Speaker 4 (40:47):
yeah, it was from a valuable, very hilarious source.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Any more, any more barbara.
This date is going very, verywell.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Uh, any more from you , barb right, um, yeah, so um,
actually, yeah, considering theworms are now back alive.
Yeah, because of the magicalpower the barn owl had, and also
she will not be eating thembecause that would not make
sense.
But she recently got in a newshipment of worms and she needs

(41:23):
help naming them.
Why a shipment of worms?
Why?

Speaker 1 (41:25):
is she naming them?
Why is?

Speaker 2 (41:26):
shipment of worms.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
Right, why?
Why is she shipping him worms?
As a vegan, who's shipping himworms?
Yeah, I thought when I saidthat I was like you know, why
would I?

Speaker 2 (41:34):
ship worms that's like the most.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah, all right so she's dug out some worms okay,
right, she's saving some wormsshe's saving.
She went to a fishing shop andshe bought some worms to save
them from being fed to fish.
How about that?

Speaker 2 (41:49):
All right, but she needs help naming six of them.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Well, thankfully, you've come to the right place.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
Because comedic six names.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Well, actually I don't know if I've told you this
, barbara, but I've actuallylaunched this new enterprise in
Suriname which is renaming notonly humans but worms, and, as a
great fan of the PlayStation 1,playstation 2, playstation 3,
and probably PlayStation 4, andmaybe PlayStation 5 game Worms.

(42:26):
I I'm sure that in there in mycranium somewhere would be some
names, um for some, for someworms, you would think.
But for a large amount ofalcohol and or drug abuse.
In my life cannot think of asingle worm.
So name so we're gonna go withsquirmy, okay, that's okay.
Wormy Original yeah, learning,we go with Furmy.

(42:55):
He's a bit the grumpy one he'slike.
So we've got learning.
He's like the learned guy.
You could say he's a bookworm.
Okay, we have Furmy, he's a bithang on.
Then we have Furmy.
He's could say he's a bookwormand we have fermi.
He's a bit hang on.
Uh, that we have fermi.
He's like uh, he's the bit of atough guy, you know, he's the
the tough one.
Okay, um then you're susan andthen I'm guessing you're

(43:17):
thinking how many worms werethere?
Sorry?
Six, only six there was onlysix, only six worms, uh.
So you would think I'd be ableto by now come up with uh
something what these uh may becalled.
Uh, we have a loomy uh, he's aglow worm, uh, so he lights up
at night.
Thank you very much.
That's funny.
Thank you and um, and then Iwill name one after.

(43:39):
After you, um, uh, dill pickle.
This is the last one that I'mgonna name it after, so that was
easy all right, well, um, thedate went terribly.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
Uh, I won't keep us here much longer.
You have offended her way toomany times.
Fair enough, we haven't usedany of the note cards and um,
yeah, on to the next story,james yeah, nice job drop it
down low.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Three word story no, so dylan.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Yes, um, my area in nick name.
Uh, I took me and I was onlyone square away from actual
nickname and it gave me threeunique words of prototype, okay,
ingenious and fear, and Ithought that's a.

(44:35):
Do you need a?
Do you need a definition of anyof those?

Speaker 2 (44:40):
I'm just trying to think which way you would be
leaning with those.
Well, Dylan, you know.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
That's why I'm here.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
That's what I'm going to explain to you.
So, naturally, when I had thesethree words, I thought what
else?
What else will I possibly dothan make a game show?
Ha, is it prototype orprototype or not?
Is it prototype or not?
Is it prototype or prototype ornot?
Is it prototype or not?
Is it?
Is it prototype or not?

(45:11):
Oh, there's a sphere thatyou've got.
Whether it's a prototype or not, is it prototype or not?
Oh, there's a sphere thatyou've got.
Is it a prototype or not?
Is it prototype or not?
That's the fear that you'vegone.

(45:32):
Whether it's prototype or not,so welcome to Prototype or Not.
So the fear that you have iswhether you are going to get
these questions right on thegame show prototype or not.
So, dylan, I'm going to gothrough a list of prototypes.

(45:54):
So these are inventions, ideas,formulations that have been
made in real life.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
Or not.
Yeah, nice, I like it Nice job.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
So thank you, gary, and basically we're going to go
down and I'm going to list youout some prototypes and you need
to use your cranium to decidewhether or not it is a prototype
or not, there we go Right, sodoes that make sense, Dylan?
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, fucking obviously.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Where does the fear jump in?

Speaker 1 (46:26):
The fear is whether you get it wrong, oh, okay In
this game show if

Speaker 2 (46:31):
you lose.
If you get it wrong, you die.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Yeah, we bring up the tiger in the escalator.
As you can see, with all thescratches, we bring the tiger up
and the tiger mauls you.
Now you're thinking well, ifthat is the price you pay for
losing, what is the price ofwinning?

Speaker 4 (46:47):
well, your life, dylan, so who else?

Speaker 1 (46:49):
would not want that right, so again it is prototype
or not?
Yeah right, there we go Dylan.
So to begin with we have sothis is like a business quiz
background music, right?
So Dylan, begin with we have.
So this is like a quizbackground music, right?

Speaker 2 (47:07):
So Dylan Feeling the tension.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
We have the prototype Nekon Mimi.
No prototype, whatever, it isJust joking.
Back in 2011, inventors came upwith a new device that combined
Japan's technology expertisewith its fascination with
dressing up like animals.

(47:30):
The result was called theNekomini, which are cat's ears,
controlled by the user's brainweight.
When the user concentrates, theears of the device perk up.
When the ears drop, the user isin a state of relaxation.
Now, dylan, I'm asking you,prototype or not?

(47:50):
And now please make it a littlebit entertaining and think
about a little bit first, andthink about it a little bit
first don't just go no damn itright.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
So that's what I normally mean right, let's,
let's, let's think about thisout loud.
Yes, I have heard that, um,they, they do like this is kind
of one of those, one of theircustoms dressing up like animals
, and I have seen kind of thethe hello kitty thing, and then
they've kind of got the uh, Idon't know, it's called an alice

(48:20):
band, I don't know what.
I have seen the ears, but thengoing so far as to having
something connected to yourbrain.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Yeah, yeah.
So it says a device usesbrainwaves.
So did they go all the way tothe brainwaves to get?

Speaker 2 (48:43):
I think they would do something like that.
Honestly, I do think the techis out there, but just to make
ears pop up, that seems prettybizarre.
But then, yet again, it isJapanese.
So yeah, I'm gonna say yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
So you're saying Prototype is not Dylan Dylan.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
Gary, gary, what did you say?
Nice job, that's correct, itwas indeed not.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
No, it was no wait.
Wait, what did you say?
It was a prototype.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Like it is out there.
Yeah, sorry.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
It is a prototype yeah, sorry, Sorry.
Sorry, gary, you could havebeen a bit clearer.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
Say something else, Gary.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Fuck you, Gary.
Right.
Next one Right the bowler hat.
Back in 1849, the originalbowler hat was designed to
accommodate King Edward VII'sservants in handling marble
bowls.
When playing bowls witharistocratic revelers, the
servants were expected to handthe bowl over within the hat as

(49:47):
to not sully the bowl beforeplay.
The hats would then be returnedto the head to maintain an
immaculate presentation,prototype or not well, there is
obviously something like abowler hat.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
It is a bowler hat, so, but it's basically just
stating that's.
That's the reason for that hat.
But no, the bowler hat wouldthen by definition, not be a pro
, like it would be a prototypebecause it's already in
existence.
Right, but was it?

Speaker 1 (50:20):
was it a prototype?
For this reason, right, so okay, okay, okay.
So a prototype has to have aspecific reason.
Sometimes, things are made andthen they're made into something
else, but there was an originalprototype.
So is this prototype or not?
Fuck, so you think the servantsare there with the bowler hat

(50:41):
and then they, they kind of thebowler hat the bowler's in there
and they hand it over to the,to the king and his what was the
sport?
Uh playing bowls oh bowls.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
So you know like, yeah, listen it, it seems like a
sticky enough idea.
And you said king, who?
Uh?
King edward the seventh?
Oh then I definitely know.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Okay, that's proven.
Okay.
So, dylan, you are sayingprototype, prototype.
Gary, what are we saying?
That is no prototype, dylan.
There is indeed such thing as abowler hat, but the bowler hat
was originally invented to placeon a gentleman's head whilst he
was on a horse to protect hishead from branches and or

(51:24):
foliage.
It was not created to havebowls to hand over to King
Edward VII.
I made that one up.
Good one, james, You're welcome.
I was quite happy with that one.
I had a little chockle tomyself thinking about it.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
So villain you are and you fell for it so that one
all Villain, one all.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
I can hear the tiger amping up.
So the next one, shakitani.
We're back in Japan in 2008,.
Dylan, a sensory device wasdeveloped that would sense and
alert public transport users asto if someone had passed a gas
passed gas.
In early trials of the device,the alerts were so common it

(52:06):
became a hindrance to travelersand was discontinued Prototype
or not.
Why was it discontinued?
In early trials of the device,the alerts were so common, it
became a hindrance to travelers.
So it was going.
Basically, people were farting,passing gas, so much it was
just In Japan.
2008, in Japan, gas, so much itwas just In Japan 2008 in Japan

(52:27):
.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
No, so it's.
I don't know, maybe I'm this isgoing to sound bizarre, but I'm
going to- go for it anyway,this is just based on the fact,
not the fact, not the fact.
But I can't seem to evenconjure up the idea of a

(52:50):
Japanese person farting, exactlyyeah.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
So do you not think that?
So it's a lot about politeness,yes, that kind of culture,
right?
Yeah, so one may slip out, butyou would never know Okay.
Of culture, right, yeah, so onemay slip out, but you would
never know okay.
So would you not think that, tomaximize politeness in society,
they would want everyone tokeep their anuses completely
tight?

Speaker 2 (53:15):
so no one yeah, so nobody would get found out.
But then yet again, it's.
It's uh very much, I guess, anhonor system like and if it does
slip out, it slips out, but wearen't going to chastise you for
it, do you think they wouldn't?
No, I don't think they would.
I think the embarrassment fromthe individual itself would
probably be enough.

(53:36):
So, no, I would say no, no, notin Japan.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
So you are saying prototype is not Gary.
What are we saying?
Yeah, I know what that is, gary.
What we're saying yeah, I knowwhat that.
Yeah, I love that you'relooking at the buttons in
anticipation.
I really don't want that tigerto come in.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
I don't want I don't want a chance really feeling the
pressure so, dylan?

Speaker 1 (54:00):
um, we are still in japan.
Those crazy motherfuckers areinventing everything.
This one is a choice.
It's a 50-50 choice.
Is it a tomato tan or a bananatron?
In Japan, a prototype wasdeveloped to assist marathon

(54:20):
runners in energizing on the go.
The robot sat on the runner'sback and fed them what?
Tomatoes or bananas Runners,yes.
So in Japan, a prototype wasdeveloped to assist marathon
runners in energizing on the go.
I've seen this.
The robot sits on the back andshoulders and it reaches around
into your mouth and feeds youeither a tomato or a banana.

(54:42):
So was it the Tomatan?

Speaker 2 (54:44):
or a Bananatron.
I'll go with Bananatron justbecause I reckon, I think and
again, I'm not a runner myself.
But yeah, you need the.
I think sugar is absorbedeasier from a banana.
They need sugar while running.

(55:04):
There's a good source ofpotassium um irons in there, so
yeah, I think you know you're afreaking banana salesman.
No, but I think that's what Ijust can't think, um that they
would need a tomato whilstrunning a marathon, and that's,
that's solely what I, solelywhat I'm basing this on.

(55:25):
So we are going for theBananatron, gary.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
What are we saying?
Fuck, it was a Tomatotron.
It was actually designed by asoup company as it was a bit of
a publicity thing, and it was afull robot.
It was ridiculous.
Full robot on their shoulderswould pick a tomato from their
own robotic backpack and switchit around and put it into the
runner's mouth.
Did they say why?

(55:53):
A tomato, though?

Speaker 2 (55:54):
it was a soup company .
So I think it was just a soupcompany it was just, I assume,
selling tomato soup.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
I've never had banana soup.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Uh, I'm not sure if that's a thing, that's no maybe
you can sell that in your newbanana shop I, I think they just
call it smoothies, so the nextone, Dylan.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Yes, so you're too old.
You really are one or the otherway from getting annihilated by
a tiger.
Goodyear tires.
In the 1960s, tire companyGoodyear had an interesting idea
, or did they?
Why not produce tires thatwould light up?
The tyres were made from asingle piece of synthetic rubber

(56:29):
and were lit by bulbs mountedinside the wheel, making the
whole tyre glow brightly.
The idea was to offer a wholerange of colours, but while the
tyres looked amazing in the dark, they performed poorly in the
wet and the idea was scrapped.
But was it prototype or not?

(56:51):
Light up tyres in the 1960s?
I mean, how cool would thatlook?

Speaker 2 (56:54):
right, you are going around with light up tyres, like
I can imagine, because correctme if I'm wrong, but the that's
when the white wall tyre was, Ithink, a bit more popular right.
I would say so yeah, so I canimagine kind of the ring around

(57:16):
and I can imagine it is prettycool.
But Light up tires though.
Light up tires, yeah, thethought seems a bit alien, bulbs
mounted inside the wheel makingthe whole tire glow brightly?
No, like it just doesn't seemtoo sticky to me, don't you?

(57:39):
Like I mean fucking on bulbs,on that, on that?
No, no, just yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
So we are saying prototype is not.
Gary what do you say?
Oh no, it was indeed aprototype in the 1960s that they
had light up tyres.
Oh my goodness, we are one stepfurther from the Tiger coming
in Dillill pickle.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
You are in a pickle, that's what I would say how many
questions left?

Speaker 1 (58:11):
we have two left oh, fuck, so you really need to do
yeah otherwise, you know, I'mI've actually paged, I have a
pager, I've actually paged themto start bringing the the tiger
out one floor by one floor.
So it's uh, if this was avisual thing you can imagine,
like the floor numbers going upand up and you're thinking how
am I gonna survive the tiger's,my friend, just so you know so
the next one dylan, let me justuh, let's get back our our tense

(58:34):
music.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
No googling no, no, no, I just want to remove um
porn hub.

Speaker 1 (58:39):
Close that right.
Next one, dylan, is thestanakin.
In poland 1914, with mostmarried men fighting in the war,
igar schwitz developed alife-sized temporary husband.
The 117 centimeter tall hessianmannequin would be able to keep
the housewife company and hearcomplaints without retort.

(59:02):
The mannequin, dubbed by eagleas the stanakin, courted
controversy with its wood turnedmale genitalia and creepy,
gaunt button-eyed face.
No surprise that stanakin didnot make it into polish
households.
What do you think about thestanakin?

Speaker 2 (59:23):
I would like to know where the word mannequin came
from.
You can't.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
Google it.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
It's not how it works .
Yeah, because then I'd be likewell, what was first?
The chicken or the egg, thestanakin or the mannequin, the
stanakin or the mannequin?

Speaker 1 (59:43):
I want this podcast to take off so badly because I
want a t-shirt that saysmannequin or mannequin.
What came first, the mannequinor the mannequin?
Um?
So, with a lot of married menfighting off in the war 1914, uh
, one of the biggest amount ofuh deaths, human deaths, within
the space of four years ever,did Igor Svits?

Speaker 2 (01:00:07):
develop In the year 1914.
World War I, yeah, it is, butThanks.
No, he would have plannedbetter than that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
Did he know Franz Ferdinand was going to be shot?

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
No, probably not, but I don't know.
Tensions were probably arisingwith Germany beforehand.
No, I'm going to call it no.
No, I can't see.
I can't see the Polish societybeing like listen, I think they
probably reckoned you know what.

(01:00:46):
The woman will kind of hold upthe fort whilst we are gone.
They don't need Stanekins.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
It does say that it didn't take off.
It said that no surprise thatthe Stanekin did not make it
into Polish household.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
But that's also the thing, though you need like one
person to have a fucking bizarreidea, igor.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Shvets.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
To be like like hey guys, here's what I've got.
Yeah, and just imagine, yeah,yeah, you know what I would do
if I was eagle schmitz, right?

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
yeah, I would take the loveliest housewife that
there was, right, and I'd go.
Hey, helena, uh, I have thisnew doll for you.
It has a wooded male genitalia.
It's just a Hessian mannequin.
Okay, you do whatever you wantwith it.
Okay, I'm going to go out inanother room and this mannequin,

(01:01:35):
stanakin, will be in this room.
I will be gone.
You will never see me again.
But just this Hessian mannequinwill be there.
You'll never see me again.
Okay, and this is just amannequin.
Okay, this is where sex toyscame from.
I mean, it's 1914, I couldimagine.
I went to the sex museumsplinters.
I went to the sex museum inamsterdam and I don't remember

(01:01:56):
seeing a mannequin.
To be fair, I bet it would beworth a lot of money if you
could find a mannequin, butmaybe igor schwitz would put
himself into the stanakin.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
Um, pretending that indeed, okay well, no, I, either
way, no, I I'm, I have to.
And again, obviously I might bewrong, I might just be gobbled
up by the tiger.
But no, I, I don't see this.
So you are saying not, not fuck, oh, you have two now, dylan

(01:02:27):
yeah, two all at the moment yeah, nice job, nice job, dylan you
are three, two and you have onemore.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
So, alright, if, if you draw, we still release the
tiger, but we get it off youbefore it kills you, so you're
going to be mauled.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
But not to death.
Yeah, that was two, two, so I'mone ahead.
Yes, you're three, two.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
So if you don't get this one right.
Yeah, you will still be mauled,but not to death, just some
life-changing injuries, you knowthat's what we like to do here
at prototype or not right sothat was such a game show.
I was like so for the final one,dylan.
Yes, sir, the moustache shield.

(01:03:11):
The moustache has been apopular form of facial hair for
hundreds of years, and duringthe latter part of the 19th
century the handlebar moustachebecame a common sight around the
world.
So in 1876, american VirgilGates took out a patent for a
mustache guard to keep it cleanand dry whilst eating and

(01:03:35):
drinking Prototype or not?

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
Can I ask what it was made of?
How much info do you have?

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
That is all I have.
That is all I have.
That's all the producers havegiven me.
That is all I have.
That is all I have.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
That's all the producers have given me.
That is all I have.
Right Gates, virgil Gates.

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
Virgil Gates Could have been in the long lineage of
Bill Gates.
Maybe, maybe it's a long lineof inventors.
It went mustache guards.
That's where they got theoriginal amount of money.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
And then Bill Gates took that money and did
computers with it.
You know, yeah, um, practical,but yeah, again, it stumps me
every time thinking that, hey,listen, the, the, and fair
enough, that's how people, thisis how, uh, technology evolves,
right, is somebody willing toput something stupid out there?
However, this, yeah, I'm, yeah,I don't see it.

(01:04:30):
I don't see it, I really don'tHaving something for what not
wet, so it doesn't get wet.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
So it keeps it clean and dry.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
Clean, handlebar clean and dry.
Clean and dry yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:44):
So, dylan, the tiger is nearly at the lift.
The final answer is prototype,is not?
No?
Gary, for the final time thisevening, do we have a good job
or do we have anime style shocknoise?
Dylan, that is a draw.

(01:05:06):
So, whilst you are being mauledand mangled by the tiger, we
are going to play out with alittle bit of.
It is prototype or not?
It was prototype or not.
He didn't get it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
It wasn't prototype.

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
And Dylan's getting mangled and chewed up by a tiger
because he didn't know it was aprototype.
It was a prototype or not.
Was it prototype or not?
The fear that he got, oh yeah,was it prototype or not?

(01:05:45):
The fear that he got, whetherit was a prototype or not, yeah,
so Dylan, well, half of you now, because obviously the lower
half has been mangled by by thetiger.
I don't know why I've beencalling you Dylan, because
obviously your name is stillpickle.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
As we know, all winks I, I couldn't, I couldn't hold
eye contact while you call medill pickle.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
So dill pickle for next week.
Yeah, where are we gonna look?
I have literally given not asecond of thoughts to where we
may then put.
So we had a business set up inSouth America.
I liked that.
I liked that a lot.
So why do we not have some abusiness that we set up in Asia?

(01:06:33):
Oh okay, we'll stay on thebusiness theme.
Maybe we'll do this for anotherepisode or two, until we
actually engage our imagination,that's fair and we'll see where
this will take us on nextepisode of Three.
And we'll see where this willtake us on next episode of Three
.
Word Story.
Nice job Nice job.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Drop it down low with Three Word Story.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
Thank you for listening to this week's Three
Word Story.
If you would like to get intouch with James and Dylan, then
please email us atthe3wordstory at gmailcom.
Send your reviews negative orpositive, or even your three
words, and we'll read them outon air.
See you next week.