June 3, 2025 • 51 mins
What happens when a Komodo dragon, a Chinese exchange student, and a few clueless tourists cross paths in a Bangkok nightclub? According to Dylan, it leads to a multi-million yuan casino empire in Beijing. Welcome to the wonderfully absurd world of Three Word Story, where fictional business ventures spring from random locations and three arbitrary words.
Fresh off their sunburned and boulder-bruised two-week hiatus, James and Dylan take their entrepreneurial imagination to Asia. Dylan weaves an elaborate tale of how he and three companions—Peter Ink, Glenn Layers, and David Dragon—leveraged a lizard bite into political capital with China's "Minister of Infrastructure and Strategic Amusements." The story takes an unexpected comedic turn when Dylan's pronunciation of "glares" as "glayers" becomes the episode's running joke, revealing his tendency to add extra sounds to certain English words.
Meanwhile, James develops an international cheerleading competition based in Phuket, Thailand (which he consistently mispronounces to hilarious effect). Rather than focusing on athletic ability, his cheerleading business emphasizes culturally-specific chants and audience engagement. The episode reaches its peak as James performs three increasingly outrageous routines for South Africa, the United Kingdom, and the United States—each packed with stereotypes ranging from vuvuzelas and safari references to Brexit jokes and Donald Trump worship.
Between the mispronunciations, cultural stereotypes, and completely implausible business plans, this episode perfectly captures the show's signature blend of improvised storytelling and friendly banter. Listen now, and discover why sometimes saying "fuck it" (or as James would say, visiting Phuket) leads to the most entertaining business concepts you'll never invest in.
Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!
Follow us on:
- Insta: @three.wordstory
- TikTok: @Threewordstory
- X: @_threewordstory
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
What three words.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And improv the shit out of a story.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today on Three Word Story.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
You've got yourself a casino in Beijing.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Casino in Beijing.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Yeah right, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Lady boys no, that's a different Okay you can't just
keep saying the word Gliars.
Let me tell you, gliars, it'sactually Big Ben Chime.
Tea Time Rhyme Bloke let's go.
(00:43):
Yeah, yeah, let's go, dylan,let's go.
Yeah, yeah, let's go, dylan,let's go.
Yeah, yeah, let's go, dylan,let's go, let's go, let's go,
dylan, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hey, dylan, how are you, dil Pickle?
I am now ready, I'm psyched.
You just put me in the mood forthis podcast With a bit of
let's go, team let's go, as weare.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Team Three Word Story Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
to rock today.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Dil Pickle yeah, we are Right.
So it's been two weeks becausewe are lazy little shitheads.
So shall we remind thelisteners at home what we're
trying to do here, dylan?
Yes, we shall.
So we are going to pick arandom place in Asiaia this time
, I believe it was.
So we are going to picksomewhere in the world,
specifically down to a metersquare, that we would set up a
(01:33):
business in asia and we're goingto use what three words?
Which will give us three unique, individual words that we can
then use to create a story.
How does that that sound, dylan?
Does that sound like a?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Nice job, fantastic job, fantastic.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm glad you said something, because I was just
going to do this whole podcastwith me and this guy and these
guys.
The fact that they are mycompetition right, I think I
need to up my game somewhat.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Just being like let's go, we need to get you some
catchphrases.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
That's what we need to.
Get you some catchphrases,that's what we need to do.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Uh, well, it has been a while, it's been a while and
so hopefully our stories have.
No, that's, uh, it's beautiful,it's true, and I saw your face.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I'm just going to let this keep on going.
Something along those linesyeah, was that it, I like it
Nice job.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I miss this guy honestly, Tom.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Tom, he's given us a nice job.
I was going to go through andmaybe find more quotes from Tom,
but Tom just likes a nice job,that's all he needs.
So, wow, what a wicked car job.
That's all he needs.
So, uh, wow, what a wicked carcrash.
To the beginning of thispodcast, we've, we've stated,
indeed, what we do, which isfinding three random words.
So let's, let's, skip the smalltalk because, honestly, I've
(02:58):
done sweet fuck all these pasttwo weeks, which really lends me
to believe.
What have we been doing?
Why not do a podcast?
But we've just been doingstupid, smelly work, which
sounds about right yeah, thathonestly sounds about right, I
mean within the word context.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Even I try and pick stories honestly leading up to
those, because I know we have to.
I mean, do do the small talkportion of this, and that's
actually what I strive for,james, is to make interesting
stories.
Uh, just that I can actuallyrelay them here on the podcast
and then I just that's good.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Well, what do you say producer tom?
Nice job, he likes that helikes it.
You're coming in with a pop ofsmall talk.
What have you got for me?
No, no, no, no, but I failed.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
That's what I wanted to say listen I'm building and
I'm working with scraps here.
So, yes, I just wanted to tellyou of the process and yet then
still failing at the uh, at theprocess.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I mean, what have I done?
Uh, when I sat on a beach,nothing interesting.
Oh, I burnt like a motherfucker.
There we go.
I sat on a beach back up and Iuse right, okay, okay, like, let
me start, let me just say, andyou know, let me just go in a
caveat that I love my wife blahblah, blah blah, but she fucked
something up for me, dylan, shefucked something up because he
(04:11):
just he kept on going.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, she's what?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
no, no, no, no no, no , she fucked it up for me, dylan
, because we didn't take suncream with us, right, which is a
silly thing when you go on a 45degree beach holiday.
And she said James, don't youworry, your dear, dear face,
what your?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
English skins will be fine.
No, no, no.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
She said there is communal sun cream on the beach.
There's like these dispensers.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
That dispense sun cream.
That's nice, that's what Ithought If it were to be true,
that's what I thought it were tobe true, that's what?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
no, no, no, no, they did have these, but, dylan, if
I'm if I'm a business and Iwon't name the business because
I don't want to get into troublefor besmirching their communal
sun cream if I'm a business, I'mprobably gonna not put the most
expensive sun cream in thesedispensers, right?
because, people are just gonnafuck it around everywhere, have
sun cream fives, put itaccidentally on hot dogs and
give it to someone, maybe as ajoke, right, as like sun cream
(05:07):
mayonnaise, it might even tastelike mayonnaise, so I'm not
going to.
It's quite expensive sun creamby the kilogram, so I'm probably
not going to put the mostrefreshing.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Win for kilogram and not liter.
I do mine in kilos.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I do kilos of sun cream.
I'll have five kilo your finestsun cream.
I'll have five kilo your finestsun cream, please, sir.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
So we were Feel the weight on me.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
We were left with the communal sun cream.
Now we went into the littleshop that was there, thinking
they'll have some reasonablypriced stuff.
You'd be surprised, dylan.
They had the cheapest shittiestsunglasses per exemplar that
would have totaled around ahundred dollars, us dollars like
and they were the stuff thatyou find in just a pharmacy,
(05:52):
right like you know, that thatstuff that has like combs hair
bands and a pair of sunglasses.
So it's 400 dirhams, which wasinsane.
And then they had sun cream.
That was awful anyway, yeah,communal sun cream.
So I was like, okay, fine, I'lltrust the sun cream.
You know my wife's usuallygoing to look after me.
It should be fine.
Slathered myself.
I slathered myself with thissun cream because it's free.
(06:13):
Yeah, because it's free and Iput it on my hot dog and I put
it in some sandwiches.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It does taste and it was great, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
But no, I was.
It was just a weekend.
We're back to work on mondayand I didn't want to look like a
silly prick you know, as anEnglish person does going into a
predominantly Arab office.
I didn't want everyone to laughat me more than they usually do
, so I slathered myself.
Did it work, did it fuck?
So I had like third degreeburns on my back and chest.
Thankfully my face wasn't toobad because we had a teeny, tiny
little bit of 50 spf in alittle bottle that we had.
(06:43):
So I reserved that for mybeautiful, beautiful face.
But my body totaled, ruined,absolute fiery car crash for my
body and there was pain, upset,discomfort so that's been that's
been my two weeks right,there's you fucking small talk
and shove it up, your ass, we godid you do anything?
Did you do like boulder orsomething?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
like that oh shit, yeah, yeah, I went.
Some bouldering is what I nowknow it's called I really didn't
know.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
I just chucked a word out there and just so happened.
That's something you did crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, I didn't know the.
Uh, it was called boulderingand then, as opposed to, was it
rock climbing or wall climbing?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
well, you tell the listeners at home.
Dylan, what did you do?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
why?
I think, well, it's calledboulder zone, but then you
basically just fucking climb upthe walls and, uh, what is it
probably about?
Three meters, four meters.
It can't be higher than thatbut yeah, you've got this.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Zero ropes, no ropes.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Uh, you got the mats down at the bottom.
Should you you obviously fall?
And uh, yeah, you've got this,this series of rocks.
Then to climb.
The idea is not to use all ofthe colors, it's to stick to a
certain route.
That obviously varies indifficulty and I actually really
(07:58):
, really enjoyed it.
I don't think I was too bad,but I probably fucked up my
knees a bit because, jumpingfrom up there instead of
climbing down, I figured, yeah,that just wastes energy.
That wastes energy for the nextone, because some of these
things are really not that easyto climb.
(08:19):
And yeah, needless to say, thenext day I couldn't walk
properly.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
You had climber's knees or boulder's knees.
Boulders, boulder's knees, andto what degree?
How hard did you go?
How difficult did you go?
Or did you stick to the bigchugs, as they call?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
them.
I don't know what thedifficulty level is like.
I know it is better than thekids, than the kids area um at
restaurants, like because youtry because I'm trying to warm
up there.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
You're like kids, fuck off, move out the way.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Right, I didn't want to be a prick about it, but they
keep on hogging the fuckingwalls like fuck you guys.
Yeah, um, so I chased them awayto the playstation so that they
could go.
It's a bit late, guys, come on.
Um, no, so, um, I think thelevel was uh, six.
Uh, there's apparently yeahthat I chased away.
Yeah, um, I guess, or you justsaid that I chased away um, yeah
(09:19):
, apparently the difficultyscale is from 1 to 12 or
something, and we just got up to6.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I think it was, and then like slipping off at 6, or
you were like comfortable at 6?
.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
No, no, it took me probably about 5 times.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
We're talking about the difficulty of rock climbing
anyone who's at home is going tosnap that up and get Dylan in
trouble.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
He's talking about the difficulty of climbing that
sound bite would go viral.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
it would go but we wouldn't then be going.
Let's and get Dylan in trouble.
He's talking about thedifficulty of climbing.
That soundbite would go viral.
I'm pretty sure it would go.
It would go, but we wouldn'tthen be going.
Let's go, team.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Let's go.
No, we wouldn't, we wouldn'ttake a team, anyway.
Oh, that was, that was.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I'm sorry, that wasn't a.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Nice job.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Right.
So, dylan, let's sprint away.
Nay, let's run away.
All right, drop it down low.
Three word story, dylan, welast week, last two weeks,
whenever it may be we decided touh start up businesses in south
(10:18):
america, yes, which gave us ourstories.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Uh, we had, uh, my company was going to create
nicknames and surnames insuriname and you were gonna coca
leaves you were coca leavesguys, coca leaves in south
america, and then I thought,yeah, let me just take it to
asia.
So we got the same story inasia so yeah, I mean, uh, we've
started those.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Now they're in production.
We've, uh we've fundraised sofar.
Uh, we're in development stage.
So if any investors are outthere that want to get into
business in Suriname fornicknames and surnames, hit me
up.
If anyone wants to get into notdrug smuggling- let's make it
very clear to the authoritiesout there that we are nothing
into drug smuggling whatsoever.
It's just cocoa leaves.
(11:00):
Please leave us alone.
We're very sorry so it was justa joke, so uh dylan, in asia
and asia is famously large whydid you go to set up a business?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
and why so?
Pretty serious.
Oh sure, I actually alreadyhave set up this business and
it's already quite profitable.
I've kind of been operating forthe last two years, so I will
tell you where it is.
I will leave the three words tomyself until I get into the
(11:39):
story because, I'm not going totell you.
I'm not going to tell anyone andyou have to decipher them from
the story which, if history saysanything will be a fucking stab
in the dark you couldn't eveneven get to my three words,
despite me actually trying touse those three words.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Honestly.
You tell me that in thebeginning your story and at the
end I'm like there is no way.
There is no way that thosethree ways corresponded.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
But I'm sure this time, dylan, they will.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So where is this business?
What is this business?
What have you been doing?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
casino not in macau beijing, beijing.
So you've got yourself a casinoin beijing casino in beijing
yeah, right okay, I have to pullsome strings forward, um, but I
think it's.
This would be uh, this wouldkind of be the definition of a
plan coming coming together, andthat's what.
(12:33):
Uh, that's what I'll explain toyou just now.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Okay, so is your story about this casino.
So I can't now ask you anythingabout this casino, which is
usually a good four to sixminutes of our patter.
Uh, to really eke out thisabsolute horseshit that we talk
about, okay, right so, and thisis me shaking my head like the
listeners can yeah?
Yeah, they can hear your, yourbreathing, go in and out, and in
(12:55):
and out, and in and out.
So maybe that's why, yeah, um,okay, well there's four fucking
valuable minutes in the podcast.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Gone, jesus.
Well done, dylan, nice job no,tom, not nice job.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
We needed some patter to get to at least 45 minutes
for the algorithm.
So anyway, okay, dylan.
Well, I guess I will try andeke out my piece of shit that I
have to talk about, so half anhour, here we go so, dylan, I
take you to a country that Iobviously know is the country
(13:27):
and I'm not zooming out, just toclarify.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
So don't get it wrong don't be silly.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I go to the british tourists favorite traveling
destination, thailand.
Now because I am not middleclass and above and slightly
posh.
I have not been there myself into be a British uh kind of in
your early twenties, late teens.
To travel to these places youusually have to your parents
have to have a bit of money, um,and that's about it.
(13:52):
Me, not so much scumbag wouldonly go to uh anywhere in Europe
, so, uh, I've not been.
(14:13):
The life-changing stories andabout how I don't know bowl of
noodles changed my perspectiveon camels or whatever, uh, or
how the water is so fresh thatit cleaned my soul, or whatever,
um, so it's all new to me, soI'm coming at a completely
business point of view.
Okay, okay, we're talkingbusiness.
I'm not going there to takedrugs, to kind of find myself
right.
I'm going there for a differentreason, because I didn't go
there as someone in my 20s orlate teens to live it large, as
the kids say.
I'm going there as a fullyfledged adult, okay, an adult
(14:36):
that has, let's say, a bit ofrage, a bit of a bit of bit of
stuff, bit of life baggage tolet go.
Okay, and I think Thailand hasthe perfect place to go to let
out that rage.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Ladyboys Sorry no, that's a different.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
No, no, no, no no, no , no, Not ladyboys, so we are
going out.
You might have to correct mypronunciation.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
We're going to Phuket .
Yeah, it's pocket.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
And I teed it up.
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
what you've got.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Nice job.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yeah, you've got a nice job Because, yes, I believe
it is probably pocket Pocket.
Oh, a little bit of an accenton there as well.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Okay, wow, that's coming for you.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I didn't realise I was with a tie in the room.
Are you a lady boy?
No, so we have.
Right, so I'm sure it's calledPuckett for a reason, but
because of my colonialisticnature, I'm coming in with the
Isle of Fuckit.
All right, I like it.
So for the people that didn'tgo there and find themselves in
their late teens and earlytwenties, they just figured fuck
(15:42):
it their late teens and early20s.
I'm going back there and I'msaying fuck it, right.
I'm saying fuck it and fuck you.
What am I specifically going todo there?
Well, there's shit loads oftrees, so I can go there with a
hatchet or an axe.
That's so specific.
It's not that specific becausethe map is in my eye gaze and I
see a lot of green which Iassume to be trees.
It's just moss, yeah to betrees, so you can just moss yeah
(16:06):
yeah, moss growing on wood I'mseeing.
I didn't realize you knew it'sa dirty lake.
It's just one massive mossylake.
No, dylan, no that, I believethat they are probably trees.
Um, you'll be happy as I zoomit onto this map.
There is rebel rock climbingthere, so you could say fuck it
(16:26):
all right I'm gonna do some rockclimbing and or bouldering with
a six-year-old or not, or I'mgonna do it with six difficulty
or above, or I could say fuck it.
I'm gonna go to an elephantconservationist and ride a
fucking elephant and give it ahigh five and be its friend,
befriend it and talk about deep,meaningful issues, like you
know what do they do when theirnose gets blocked.
(16:47):
You know what do they do whenthey need to pick something out
their teeth.
Do they use their trunk?
Or did they get someone else'stusk?
I don't know, fuck it.
That's what I'm saying.
So my business is to bringpeople to the wonderful country
of Thailand, to bucket countryof Thailand to Phuket, phuket.
sorry, it's like I'm with theThai man himself, and you come
(17:10):
here and you say Phuket, fuck itall, right, okay, so is that my
cue every time?
yeah, yeah, I mean I'm lookingcan you not read this sign that
I'm holding it up and oh, it'sme again.
Okay, yeah, okay, okay, um, so,yeah, so it's basically, you go
here and you say, uh, you sayfuck it.
Okay, what else can you do?
(17:31):
Swim, fuck it.
You could go to moo one, youcould go to moo two.
Uh, am I just reading off thismap?
Yes, yes, yes, sir, yeah, whatdo you reckon, tom?
Nice job.
Yeah, the prep has gone hardinto this one, so I think that
I've eked out as much patter asI can.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, that's definitely four minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And now, I'm sure, because they seem to have
regions here, a different Mu canhave a different region.
Look, I'm making up for yourlack of patter okay, so I'm
gonna go into the fact thatthere's regions in thailand
called moo dylan and you'regonna fucking like it, okay,
right.
Moo one okay, they can have itwhere you hit trees.
Moo two okay, that's where youfreaking, just go in and bash
(18:09):
one out.
Moo three okay, you could do.
You could do, freaking, claypigeon shooting dylan.
Move four you could say fuck itI'm gonna go swim.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Listen, could I just tell you it's.
I think it's funny because Ikind of wanted to do the same
thing.
I'm looking at this map and I'mlike, yeah, so, dylan, what can
you talk about?
Yeah, it's in the town, town,or it is uh, the guang uh or the
uh jheng.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Is this your casino?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, you should fucking know, it's your casino
apparently so okay.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Well, yeah, so you get it now.
The regions of Mu 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, they can all have
their own fuck it regions, youknow?
So fuck it, dylan, right, okay,so are we with these stories
(19:03):
team?
Yes, let's go drop it down lowwith three word story, right,
dylan?
I have formally announced.
I've talked to the group, theteam who are cheerleading in the
corner, remember that, oh, Ididn't announce my three words
fuck it, we'll get to that lateryou're holding.
Yours is the theme of the themeof the podcast.
You're gonna do your storyfirst.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
And you've already spoken to the team about this.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah, yeah.
What do you say team, let's go,team, let's go.
That means yes, it's you first.
And Tom, what do you say?
Nice job?
Yeah, he says a nice job.
Give it a nice job, because youare holding back your three
words and I know the listenersat home Busting to find these
three words.
What is your casino in Beijingabout All?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
right and why the story reported as widely known
or not so widely known, but thisis the true account of it and
I'm going to keep this prettystraight to the point pretty
serious.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Oh okay, sorry, sorry yeah okay as um.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
So you don't want any of these.
You don't want any of no, no,no it's not an a-hole story.
Okay, all right, but I willallow you to ask me some
questions after I recount.
Is that a word?
Recount my story?
You can, it depends Anyway.
(20:25):
Okay, tell me.
Alright, three words Story.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Pink.
Okay, we're going straight intothe three words Dragon Layers.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Glayers, ooh Layers, sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Sorry, do you want to go back over that?
I'm not going to edit that out,we're going to go back into it
Because you were so sincere andthen you hit me with a misword
at the end.
So again, pink, pink Layers.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Dragon Glayers glares , glares, glares, g l fuck.
Now you make him spell g l a re s glares.
What is that?
Not a word?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
help me, help me out glares glares.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Use it in a sentence I am glares.
Fuck off Glares, okay.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Wait, you can't just keep saying the word glares.
Well, let me tell you.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It actually has nothing to do with my story.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, no shit, because you don't even know what
the word means.
Wow, welcome back to Three WordStory.
Right, come on, help me outGlares.
Right, I'll tell the story.
Let me to Three Word Story.
Nice job, right, come on, helpme out Glayards.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Right, I'll tell the story Let me just go into this
yeah yeah, tell the story onceand swiftly.
Okay, I am not a gambler, I'm astrategist.
Okay, I'm a planner, mm-hmm.
So when people ask how I, ofall people, helped launch the
(22:01):
most successful business in Asia, I give them the truth.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Komodo.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Dragons.
Let me explain Please.
There were four of us P Ink, gLayers, d Dragon.
So Peter Ink, emotionallydamaged, suspiciously good at
limbo.
Glenn Layers Only wore swagpants, believed mercury was a
(22:26):
vitamin Vitamin.
David Gragan, chronicallyunemployed.
And me, chronically yeah.
And me the fourth amigo, theone with the plan, it was 2015.
Bangkok, let's go.
Team.
We were on a Contiki tour.
(22:47):
Regrets, optional Hangovers,mandatory, okay.
And then we found Club Pink.
Motto we love bites.
This will become important.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Sorry, what was it the motto of the?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
The club.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
So you found the club .
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Club.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Pink, we love bites For Peter Inc.
No, no, they've got nothing todo with each other.
Pure Quinky Dink.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Quinky Pink.
So here's where most people getit wrong.
Earlier that day, david showedup holding a sack Inside a
Komodo dragon he had rescuedfrom a man behind a tuk-tuk in
exchange for my wallet.
He named it Gary yes, myfather's name Again.
(23:34):
What David didn't know and Iabsolutely did was this ordinary
lizard.
What I am saying was thisordinary lizard and that was my
wallet Was no ordinary lizardand that was my wallet.
According to the plan, as hedidn't own a wallet, gary was
(23:54):
the only Komodo dragon I've everencountered who responded to
jazz flute and had a deadlyallergy to papaya.
He also hated eye contact.
I loved the scent of a woman'sperfume so I stopped wearing it.
After that, in Club Pink, davidset Gary down during a lap
dance.
He claimed it was to let himbreathe.
(24:16):
However, moments later, weiChonglong, a Chinese exchange
student and a sandal enthusiast,walked past Gary, lunged and
bit his ankle.
Chaos Screams.
The dance had to put a dickback.
Peter ink tried to negotiatewith a bouncer using
(24:39):
interpretive dance.
I remained calm.
I wrapped gary in a curtain,applied great goose as a
disinfectant and recited a linefrom mulan way.
Survived through the pain,blood and possibly light venom,
he looked up and said I owe youa life debt.
Then he blacked out, cut to.
(25:02):
Eight years later, wei Junlongis now China's Minister of
Infrastructure and StrategicAmusements and yes, that is a
real name, I checked.
He controls the licensing andtour grants.
Great for our plan.
David messaged him a couple ofyears back, about two years back
(25:23):
.
Hey bro, you remember when, uhwhen, gary batu, three weeks
later, we were pitching the pinkdragon casino?
The name, a tribute to histrauma.
The logo a komodo dragonwearing aviators.
They're sent in the lobbypapaya, because revenge is
(25:47):
subtle.
Today the pink dragon casinobrings in 72 million huang per
quarter and gary, immortalizedin bronze wearing a bow tie,
still allergic to papaya.
People say it's the luckiestbusiness launch in history.
It wasn't luck, it was planning, it was precision, it was me.
(26:09):
You want to build an empire?
Start with a Komodo, name himGary and wait for him to bite.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Thank you, let's go, team, let's go.
Wow, okay, wow, I was engrossed, I didn't want to get you off
your vibe there.
Pretty serious, it was serious,a lot of detail.
It was painting a picture.
It was painting anextraordinary picture in my head
(26:40):
.
So I've got a few questions.
So where did you meet thesepeople?
Where was Club Pink Bangkok,thailand, ah, thailand, okay,
right, because you did say theChinese exchange student.
I thought for a second theChinese exchange student was in
China and I was really confusedas to why he would be exchanging
in his own country as a chineseexchange.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah, he's in thailand, he was in thailand
fuck it by any chance.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
No, no, he wasn't okay.
No, it was too early for that.
Okay, right, and so you arepart of this, uh I am incredible
casino.
The fourth amigo the fourthamigo, so excuse me.
So, uh, just to go back to, wasit gary?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
layer.
Uh, no, no, no.
No, gary was my, not mine, it'snot my lizard, it's komodo,
komodo.
It was glenn, glenn, glennglenn layer layer.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Okay, and peter ink, peter ink.
Okay, so paint for me peterpeter ink, right?
What type of guy is he?
If I'm going to bump into peterink down the road, what?
What were we saying?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Peter Inc.
Yep, very good at limbo,probably wears a lot of hemp.
Um, very free spirited.
He's probably the person thatwanted to find himself on this
tour.
He was that guy.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
He was that guy that the hemp checks out.
He was probably riddled withcocaine at the time, I imagine.
Yes um finding himself inquotations trying to save the
planet whilst also inhalingthings that were destroying the
planet also have third eyetattoos um everywhere.
What is the third eye tattoo?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
it's like the, the uh , the two eyes and the third eye
, like the uh the, the mind ofeye.
Eye of mind, mind of eye tattoo.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
What is it.
Did he have it tattooed on hisforehead?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
No, that's not where it would be, but it would be
tattooed somewhere else.
So he had them tattooed?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Now for the third eye .
Did he have two eyes and thenanother eye above it, which
would then make it three extraeyes.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yes, okay, it would be three eyes, with the mind's
eye included into your twoadditional eyes.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Okay, that's what I mean.
So now this man is riddled witheyes.
Yes, so he must have beenriddled with cocaine too, and
just mushrooms and all kinds ofthings to be like.
That's fair.
Feed me with eyes, okay.
And so who got poisoned again?
Who was the?
It just went so quickly, I was.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
That's fair.
Wei Wei Wei got poisoned, gotbit by Gary.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
By Gary, who was the Komodo.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
And he was in a sack.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
And where's Gary now?
Where's Gary to these days?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Gary, is he got?
We actually took him to ataxidermist first because he
unfortunately has metaphoricallykicked the bucket.
Okay, but they said theycouldn't help us.
So, yeah, we dipped him inbronze.
So now he's in bronze.
Just dipped him in bronze, yep.
Just his lifeless iguana bodyJust dipped him in bronze In a
Komodo.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Komodo, sorry, I could tell how angry you were
about that.
Sorry For misracing your lizard, not gendering Misracing, yeah.
Race, race racing, your lizardmiss not gendering miss racing.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, race right species, species, your uh, your,
your pet, your friend.
Yeah, look, it was verycalculated.
I mean, look, did I know thekomodo will strike way in
particular?
Yes, yes, I did.
Oh, I also knew way's kind ofbackground.
I knew he was, uh, he was going.
That's actually his reason foruh going on the kontiki to.
(30:03):
It was before going to studypolitical science in beijing,
china.
So, yes, a very calculateddecision on my part.
Um comes from a family ofdiplomats.
That's ironic, is it?
I don't know, I am the diplomatin in china yeah, yeah, you can
(30:26):
be a diplomat wherever you want.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Dylan, it's very diplomatic yeah, nice job.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
So yes, nice job tom, fuck's sake.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Okay, right, well, can we?
It was an extraordinary storyand I was really engrossed in
everything that was happening.
I think it'd make a great filmunless it is a film, and I'm
completely missing the point inwhich I apologise greatly, but
it no, but I can probably speakto the uncanny resemblance that
it might have to the Hangover 2movie okay, well, I missed that
boat entirely.
(30:55):
Did they start a casino?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
No, they don't start a casino.
However, they are in Bangkok,thailand, and, yes, mr Chow is
probably there.
And, by the way, I only thoughtof this afterwards and I'm
being completely serious, dylan.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I have no doubt that you could unknowingly recite an
entire script of a mid-2000scomedy movie and paint it as
your own with no malicewhatsoever.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
I can.
Very nice I can you could?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
And this is my friend Horat.
He's very nice, he's from.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Kazakhstan.
Oh, he is actually from.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Kazakhstan.
But I can.
I would understand that fromyour encyclopedia-level
knowledge of mid-2000s comedy.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
It's actually sad.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
It is your best trait .
If you want to call that sad,then I wouldn't call it I like
it and we would all say let's go, team, let's go, let's go Right
.
Can we get to the bottom?
Because I know the listeners athome are dying to know what the
fuck is a glare Right defineglare.
(31:57):
We need to do it right now.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Is somebody not glaring at me.
So if somebody glares, wouldthen be past tense glare, stare,
stare, right layer.
No, hold on, hold on okay, Iget what you're doing you are
letting me dig, and I appreciatethat, but I'm going to use this
opportunity to, yes, dig deeperokay, right yeah, okay, fine,
(32:24):
we're gonna stick with it yeah,you're gonna stick to glare,
because, right, what's yourspelling of a glare?
g-l-a-y-e-r.
No, no, oh the g-l-a-r-e.
Glare, glare, just glare.
What fuck?
G-l-a-r-e?
Yeah, glare, yeah, well, andthen the s.
(32:45):
There's an s at the end.
Glares, yeah.
So that's past tense of glare,whatever the fuck that means.
What is it?
Just to glare?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
at someone yeah is that?
Is that?
Is that not a thing?
I mean, you glare at someone.
I'm glaring at you right now,in disbelief of what is going on
.
I feel like I'm having a stroke.
But where did glare come from?
It's not like glare, glare,glaest.
What is?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
it my mispronunciation of the word.
Well, I hope so.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
This is the letter glare, but you said glare,
g-l-a-r-e.
Glare, glare, glare.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Glare, yeah, glare For the next Glare, so glares.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Glares for the next.
So glares, glares.
That was phenomenal, that was,that was digging deep into it.
Look again, everyone at home.
English is Dylan's secondlanguage.
You would think maybe the fifthor sixth, but it's it is.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
It's not glaire, glaire, it is glaire, glaire
actually I think my dad hasbrought this up, where I tend to
add some sounds sounds to aword that isn't actually there,
just sticking some spice onglare it's the same thing.
When, uh, I say the word bold,right it like now, I said it
correctly.
But normally I would say bold,old, bold, and he's like what?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
the fuck.
I'm a quarter bold over there,maybe that.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Maybe that's what it so yes, this is me confessing
yes, dad, you're right, fine andbold and glares, you just want
to go for like a bit ofLouisiana spice on all your
words.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
I say a glare over there for that by old man Shit
Okay.
Well, there we go.
I mean, I hope you lean intothat.
I want that to be yourpersonality.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Glare.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Glare.
I mean, I hope you lean intothat.
I want that to be yourpersonality.
I do say I declare Well, thankyou very much.
Thank you very much, it soundedlike.
Again we can go back through itand see is it copyrightable or
not, which I'm sure 70% of theshit that we say, is
copyrightable.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yeah, I've got some ideas on kind of building
backstories to the character,but no, I just wanted to tell
you how serious I I was about myplan and it's just the uh, the
sheer genius of me uh being ableto, uh, to deliver the genius
of you genius of me, drop itdown low with Dylan.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
Yeah, what's up.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
So Right, we've got a couple of minutes out of that.
I know we're absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
I know I love how you purposely messed up that word,
because you were like, if Ithrow some spice on it, that's
going to get the four to sixminutes of patter that we missed
at the beginning.
And our listeners, they lovepatter.
You're just pip-p padding herway to our next story.
So obviously I went to fuck itin thailand, which will be named
this, because we're going tosay fuck it about things and my
(35:36):
story's got, thankfully, nothingto do with fuck it, um, or who
cares it's actually more of thejing song.
You right, just for thelisteners at home.
I assume you're, uh, you'rejust looking at a map and saying
, yes, okay, thank god for that.
I just, I just thought you werejust looking around and just
(35:58):
saying these things blindly.
No, you were reading a map.
So these words are real andthey are not characterizing
anyone in a stereotyping way,because we have three word story
.
Don't believe in that.
We believe in making ourselveslook like nincompoops and no one
else.
Okay, yes.
So my three words for my areain bucket that I would say fuck
it to are wincing hamperscheerleading, okay, wincing
(36:25):
hampers, cheerleading.
Now, these words flew very well.
Flowed flew, flew.
They flew very well, um, and Icould have gone for a whole
story about how wincing hamperscheerleading, um, but like my
lovely business that I'm goingto set up, I said fuck it.
And I'm really just going tofocus on one word, because I
want to fuck it, okay.
(36:46):
Theme of the podcast Dylan.
I want to Fuck it, okay.
Theme of the podcast Dylan.
Fuck it, okay.
So I looked into cheerleadingand not in a creepy way, okay,
and I thought what do I enjoyabout cheerleading?
Right, what I enjoy aboutcheerleading is the chance.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
That's my favourite category.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Oh Dylan, that's not a Nice job.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Right, that's it.
Purpose it purposely what Iwanted to go, what I didn't want
to talk about.
Cheerleading dylan, I'm sorry,yeah okay right.
So you, your favorite dancecategory.
Shall we say, yes, the uh,because you know we want to keep
this podcast completely so fuckit, we are.
We're talking aboutcheerleading right now.
I thought what do I rememberabout cheerleading, uh, in films
(37:34):
, because we didn't do this inthe uk.
I don't know.
Yeah, did they do cheerleading?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
no, I think it's a very, very recent thing.
They've kind of started to workin but not really.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
It's not really like a big deal anywhere else in the
us.
You know, like americanfootball, how they're like.
We're the world champions atthis thing that only we do.
Um, they kind of the same thingwith cheerleading.
Yeah, so I want to bringcheerleading out to the wider
world.
But when I looked in, they doalready have a world competition
for cheerleading and I wasdisgusted to see that it was
(38:05):
based on teamwork, athleticism,choreography and just general
impressiveness.
Okay, it was more of anathletic endeavor and I don't
want anything to do with that.
I want the chance.
Okay, give me a D, give me a YGive me an L.
(38:25):
Give me an A.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
Give me an M there's a lot of spelling involved.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
There is a lot of spelling involved which you
could do with.
So we don't end up with a glareopportunity again.
We'll get a glare right.
So we can take this worldwideand we're going to focus on
nations having their own cheersquads.
That is based on the song, notthe athleticism, because you
know what happens with theathleticism, dylan a lot of
wincing hampers the overall joyof what cheerleading should be,
(38:52):
which is rallying a group behindyou and getting them to shit on
the other team, which isbasically what the olympics
should be about.
Okay, all right.
So it just means that anyonecan be involved.
Whether you're fat, thin, tall,small or whatever you may be,
you can get a chance together.
Okay, dylan, it does that makesense.
Yeah, okay, so I've prepared acouple of cheer chants for you,
(39:14):
okay, especially for you, um,and then we can see.
Maybe we could play around andand see what we can get.
You know, to make our ownchance, or you know, we'll just
see how long this takes.
We'll just fucking chat, shituntil, uh, it hits roughly 45
minutes and go home.
All right, how does that sound?
That sounds fun, festy, let'sgo Right.
So, dylan, for the first one.
I've picked RSA South Africa.
(39:37):
You know your land of joy andfreedom, and whatever else you
say about it, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Yeah and I, I just fit it with some words played it
around, right, and I need thisis a cheer, right.
So I'm going to point at youand I need you to hit me with a
word like yeah or go or whatever.
It's a cheer thing, right?
It's going to be a lot of a lotof spunk, a lot of sassy nars,
right?
A lot of you know cheer.
Don't say glares, okay.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Don't say glares either.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Not a cheerleading competition.
For the last time, dylan, stopglaring at cheerleading
competitions, okay.
So I have a song here.
To be honest with you, Idownloaded this just before I
left.
I have no idea if this willwork at all, which it usually
doesn't, but let's go for it,okay, sure, okay, I think this
just might be cheering, right?
So we're in the chair stadium,okay.
Okay, south Africa has come outto the cheer group.
(40:29):
Wow, the idea of this is to getpeople on your side.
Right, we're going, we arefucking out, they're going crazy
up there.
Did you hear that?
They're really here for SouthAfrica?
So in this cheer, we are goingfor the key things of South
Africa, something that saysSouth Africa to the world.
Okay, and you are going to hitwith a word, a bam, to get that
(40:49):
spunk, that spazziness at theend.
I don't know why I said thatword, but okay, right, okay,
right.
So we're just going to go forthis, dylan, right, we're going
to go for this.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
We are going to give you a cheer, Are you sure?
Right?
So?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
it'm going to need you to do that for me.
I think.
Right, okay, right.
So you're going to give me abum-bum clap, right, all right?
Table Mountain, skyline High,yeah, safari Drive, big Five
Drive, hee-hee-hoo, vuvuzelaBlast, rugby Fast.
(41:23):
Lee-lee-lee Bright Flames.
Bill Tongstash Ha-ha, elevenThongs One Big Song.
Le Le Le Bright flames.
Bill Tongstache, ha Ha, eleventongues.
One big song.
Like a Front five strong Singalong.
Hey, give me an R, r, give mean S, s, give me an A.
(41:48):
A For the rainbow a cotton tray.
Hey, there we go.
Wow, so that was South Africa'sentry to the cheerleading
competition.
How did you find that, as amember of the state of RSA Of
the Republic?
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Republic, yeah Of.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
South Africa.
How did you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Well, I think I only heard the last two sentences of
the Republic, sorry, of SouthAfrica.
How did you feel about that?
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Well, I think I only heard the last few sentences
because I was trying to keep therhythm and try and not do
something inappropriate which Ifound more difficult than it
should be.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
But yeah, like I enjoyed the chant, I enjoyed all
the references.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
It's not difficult getting a crowd in your corner
with that chant.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Okay, so you enjoyed it.
Yeah, so any more referencesthat you would have had for our
essay.
So I had Table Mountain, someSafari, big Five, we had the
Vuvuzela in there.
We had Rugby in there.
We had Rugby twice actually hadthe vuvuzela in there, we had
rugby in there, we had rugbytwice actually.
Because I also put front fivein there, because obviously
that's like you know, you'refamous for your big, your big
forwards bri flames, bill tongum, I think we could have gone
(42:59):
for for wildlife.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
I think we could have gone big five, big five.
I got the big five.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Oh shit, so uh safari drive, big five jive there we
go Big Five Drive.
Yeah, rainbow Nation, maybeRainbow Contre.
I said at the end.
Ah, that's what it was, becauseI said Give me an R, give me an
S, give me an A.
A doesn't rhyme with nation, soit was Rainbow Contre.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
I actually really like that.
I didn't, is that?
Even?
I didn't know that was anEnglish word.
What country Cont?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
I didn't know that was an English word.
What country?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Contre, contre.
No, it's just me, it's me, it'sme.
You're saying country, you'resaying that way.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
It's me putting some sparse on Contre, oh shit.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Yeah, well, it actually that's ironic, like
Contre in Afrikaans, I mean kindof refers to area, or like I
think it means area.
Oh, it refers to to area, orlike um, I think it means area,
yeah.
So yeah, I accidentally did anafrican, yeah, that's why I was
kind of shocked by that and Iwas like the the rainbow kind of
contrary, or or community, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, I fucking
(44:02):
winged that.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I hit.
What do you reckon, tom?
And there's nothing offensivein there which I, you, we can
all say is great and we can allsay let's go so.
Rsa for the win who's up next,or are we going to have?
Speaker 2 (44:16):
to do something for no, no, I've got.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
I've actually got two more which, judging by the time
, might be fucking enough, dylan.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I was really really scraped and barred okay, so I
went for I'll.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
So I went, for I'll, I'll admit I went for your
country, went for my country andI've gone for the USA as well,
mainly because I didn't want toget into trouble with any
accents or anything like that.
You know so that's unlike us.
I know, I know so.
I nearly did a German one.
I know that would have gonedown very well, but I didn't
have time or the effort.
But you know what, If this goeswell, fuck it.
(44:52):
I might come back to the uh,cheerleading international
championships later, because wedo France, and then we do um.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
What is it?
We'll do Spain.
Why not?
Okay, all right, do you knowwhat?
I Fuck it.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
We'll add it in again next time.
We'll come back to thecheerleading.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Maybe we'll do a special.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
No, no, no, maybe we'll just do a special on the
international cheerleadingcompetition.
Fuck, there's so many thingsthat we said we should do and we
never do.
Maybe we'll do them one day.
I'll write it down somewhere orI won't Right.
Next one Next up, dylan we, theUnited Kingdom, entering the
stadium.
We're getting ready.
Okay, it's the same stadium, soeveryone's like, really, you
(45:32):
know, we've opened the doorsagain.
The crowd are hot for this one.
Okay, so I want to stomp, stomp, clap, clap, clap again.
Okay, so I need you on yoursharpest behavior, okay.
And then again I'm going topoint at you and try and
embolden yourself in someBritishness.
Okay, like, give me a tally-ho,give me a top of the morning.
I was Irish, literally.
The second thing I had tofucking say wasn't even British.
(45:52):
Just, you know, fucking, justgive me anything Morning,
whatever, right, I want you toembolden.
You know you've got an Englishside to you, dylan.
I know this.
Feel it Be.
So, again, we want the stomp,stomp, clap, clap.
You got it for me, or are youprepping?
Speaker 4 (46:09):
yourself.
I'm prepping myself.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Okay, right, the crowd is warming up.
I wonder if that woman's goingto go fucking mental again like
she did before there she is Ican hear her Right ready the UK
team.
Let's go, big Ben chime, teatime rhyme.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Blokeke, stop clapping.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Double deck ride River tames, glide Pound what.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
I'm just saying.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Castles, locks, valleys, green Dodgy the best
queuing you have ever seenKnackered, I like that one.
It's a very little shine Chipswith gravy Bob's back, footie
fans drinking getting wavyLocked up.
(47:02):
Give me a?
U?
U, give me an N?
N.
Give me an I-O-N.
I o n, I o n jack.
Somebody.
Give us our country back.
Oh right, well, that was the?
Uh, that was, that was theunited.
By the way, I don't share that,that sentiment of I don't give
(47:24):
a shit anyone.
Go to the uk, freaking someonetrying make people work, because
we have a million people inthat country not being bothered
to fucking work.
So I don't give a shit anyone.
Go to the uk freaking someonetrying to make people work,
because we have a million peoplein that country not being
bothered to fucking work.
So I don't feel that sentiment.
But there's a lot of freakingwhite supremacists out there
that do.
I just thought it would behilarious to chuck it in,
because they would be the oneswho would be well up for this
cheerleading concert I'llfucking tell you something about
(47:45):
the uk sunshine, and I lovedyour words.
What were your words?
Because there was one that thecrowd loved.
Yeah, it's knackered, knackered.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
I'm fucking knackered .
Speaker 1 (47:57):
Yeah, that was good, that was good.
Right, okay, for the next one,then I'm going to need you to
get some American phrases outthere, I can do that.
Okay, because it's going to be.
Look the USA, as we know,famous for their cheerleading
competitions, but I think thisone will level the playing field
a little bit for them.
Okay, we're not going to go forathletic merit, we're not going
based on how short your skirtis, dylan.
(48:19):
We are literally just going onlyrics and getting the crowd in
action.
Okay, dylan, so when you areready, you're going to put your
American hat on, you're going toget your Americanisms out there
and we are going to hit the USAteam, not hit them physically.
We're going to, we're going tosee them.
So we're going to open up thedoors again.
We're going to need some stomp,stomp, clapping and we're going
(48:40):
to see how this crowd reacts.
Let's go, team.
Let's go coast to coast.
Messicle to toast bet, grandcanyon deep tariffs are steep.
Cool child pageants at 6 route66 no cap world champions of
(49:09):
american football chill no cap.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
World champions of American football Chill.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Don't mention Vietnam , because that'll be hurtful Lol
.
Speaker 4 (49:25):
USA will make everything.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Bff Donald Trump is our king Woo.
Okay, I think they like thatone.
They like that one.
Well, dylan, I like the lol.
By the way, I like the pre-lolwhich was a laugh out loud.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
They're followed by the lol, which is amazing.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
Okay, dylan Wright, obviously you are's put.
Try and put your impartial haton now.
If you are the judge of thiscompetition.
You've just seen rsa, you'veseen the uk and you've seen the
usa.
Who would you give the trophyto, and why?
Speaker 2 (50:01):
um my unbiased opinion yes.
Third party outsider.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, no personal interest in the matter.
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Yeah, rsa.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah Well, dylan that was truly a remarkable three
word story episode, where wefound our Asian businesses and
we located a location to placethem, which gave us three random
words using the wonderfulwebsite what three words map
(50:31):
service to get us for you Anamazing casino, I think, in
Beijing, revolving uh iguanas,not iguana, oh my unspeaking
your fucking come on.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
Sorry, your.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Komodo dragon.
Okay, and your three words werelayers.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Glare, glare, glare.
Maybe I should start saying itlike that.
Words were Glayers, glayers,glayers, glayers.
Maybe I should start saying itlike that Okay, so Glayers,
mm-hmm Pink.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Mm-hmm Dragon.
Okay, and mine were WincingHampers Cheerleading.
I think we absolutely,phenomenally, phenomenally
smashed that one Now Dylan fornext week.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
What are we gonna do and why?
Speaker 1 (51:15):
and I'll ask you this straight up, where would you
find a genie?
Speaker 2 (51:17):
imagine putting you on the spot, right there, and
then being like you need to picka location right now and then
don't fucking tell me, becauseI'm gonna ruin next week's story
I'm going to north k week'sThree Word Story.
Speaker 4 (51:29):
I'm going to North Korea back to Pyongyang.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
Next week on Three Word Story.
Speaker 4 (51:38):
Let's go team, let's go Drop it down low with Three
Word Story.
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
What three words.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And improv the shit out of a story.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today on Three Word Story.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
You've got yourself a casino in Beijing.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Casino in Beijing.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Yeah right, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Lady boys no, that's a different Okay you can't just
keep saying the word Gliars.
Let me tell you, gliars, it'sactually Big Ben Chime.
Tea Time Rhyme Bloke let's go.
(00:43):
Yeah, yeah, let's go, dylan,let's go.
Yeah, yeah, let's go, dylan,let's go.
Yeah, yeah, let's go, dylan,let's go, let's go, let's go,
dylan, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hey, dylan, how are you, dil Pickle?
I am now ready, I'm psyched.
You just put me in the mood forthis podcast With a bit of
let's go, team let's go, as weare.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Team Three Word Story Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
to rock today.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Dil Pickle yeah, we are Right.
So it's been two weeks becausewe are lazy little shitheads.
So shall we remind thelisteners at home what we're
trying to do here, dylan?
Yes, we shall.
So we are going to pick arandom place in Asiaia this time
, I believe it was.
So we are going to picksomewhere in the world,
specifically down to a metersquare, that we would set up a
(01:33):
business in asia and we're goingto use what three words?
Which will give us three unique, individual words that we can
then use to create a story.
How does that that sound, dylan?
Does that sound like a?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Nice job, fantastic job, fantastic.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm glad you said something, because I was just
going to do this whole podcastwith me and this guy and these
guys.
The fact that they are mycompetition right, I think I
need to up my game somewhat.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Just being like let's go, we need to get you some
catchphrases.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
That's what we need to.
Get you some catchphrases,that's what we need to do.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Uh, well, it has been a while, it's been a while and
so hopefully our stories have.
No, that's, uh, it's beautiful,it's true, and I saw your face.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I'm just going to let this keep on going.
Something along those linesyeah, was that it, I like it
Nice job.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I miss this guy honestly, Tom.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Tom, he's given us a nice job.
I was going to go through andmaybe find more quotes from Tom,
but Tom just likes a nice job,that's all he needs.
So, wow, what a wicked car job.
That's all he needs.
So, uh, wow, what a wicked carcrash.
To the beginning of thispodcast, we've, we've stated,
indeed, what we do, which isfinding three random words.
So let's, let's, skip the smalltalk because, honestly, I've
(02:58):
done sweet fuck all these pasttwo weeks, which really lends me
to believe.
What have we been doing?
Why not do a podcast?
But we've just been doingstupid, smelly work, which
sounds about right yeah, thathonestly sounds about right, I
mean within the word context.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Even I try and pick stories honestly leading up to
those, because I know we have to.
I mean, do do the small talkportion of this, and that's
actually what I strive for,james, is to make interesting
stories.
Uh, just that I can actuallyrelay them here on the podcast
and then I just that's good.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Well, what do you say producer tom?
Nice job, he likes that helikes it.
You're coming in with a pop ofsmall talk.
What have you got for me?
No, no, no, no, but I failed.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
That's what I wanted to say listen I'm building and
I'm working with scraps here.
So, yes, I just wanted to tellyou of the process and yet then
still failing at the uh, at theprocess.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
I mean, what have I done?
Uh, when I sat on a beach,nothing interesting.
Oh, I burnt like a motherfucker.
There we go.
I sat on a beach back up and Iuse right, okay, okay, like, let
me start, let me just say, andyou know, let me just go in a
caveat that I love my wife blahblah, blah blah, but she fucked
something up for me, dylan, shefucked something up because he
(04:11):
just he kept on going.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, she's what?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
no, no, no, no no, no , she fucked it up for me, dylan
, because we didn't take suncream with us, right, which is a
silly thing when you go on a 45degree beach holiday.
And she said James, don't youworry, your dear, dear face,
what your?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
English skins will be fine.
No, no, no.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
She said there is communal sun cream on the beach.
There's like these dispensers.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
That dispense sun cream.
That's nice, that's what Ithought If it were to be true,
that's what I thought it were tobe true, that's what?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
no, no, no, no, they did have these, but, dylan, if
I'm if I'm a business and Iwon't name the business because
I don't want to get into troublefor besmirching their communal
sun cream if I'm a business, I'mprobably gonna not put the most
expensive sun cream in thesedispensers, right?
because, people are just gonnafuck it around everywhere, have
sun cream fives, put itaccidentally on hot dogs and
give it to someone, maybe as ajoke, right, as like sun cream
(05:07):
mayonnaise, it might even tastelike mayonnaise, so I'm not
going to.
It's quite expensive sun creamby the kilogram, so I'm probably
not going to put the mostrefreshing.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Win for kilogram and not liter.
I do mine in kilos.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I do kilos of sun cream.
I'll have five kilo your finestsun cream.
I'll have five kilo your finestsun cream, please, sir.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
So we were Feel the weight on me.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
We were left with the communal sun cream.
Now we went into the littleshop that was there, thinking
they'll have some reasonablypriced stuff.
You'd be surprised, dylan.
They had the cheapest shittiestsunglasses per exemplar that
would have totaled around ahundred dollars, us dollars like
and they were the stuff thatyou find in just a pharmacy,
(05:52):
right like you know, that thatstuff that has like combs hair
bands and a pair of sunglasses.
So it's 400 dirhams, which wasinsane.
And then they had sun cream.
That was awful anyway, yeah,communal sun cream.
So I was like, okay, fine, I'lltrust the sun cream.
You know my wife's usuallygoing to look after me.
It should be fine.
Slathered myself.
I slathered myself with thissun cream because it's free.
(06:13):
Yeah, because it's free and Iput it on my hot dog and I put
it in some sandwiches.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It does taste and it was great, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
But no, I was.
It was just a weekend.
We're back to work on mondayand I didn't want to look like a
silly prick you know, as anEnglish person does going into a
predominantly Arab office.
I didn't want everyone to laughat me more than they usually do
, so I slathered myself.
Did it work, did it fuck?
So I had like third degreeburns on my back and chest.
Thankfully my face wasn't toobad because we had a teeny, tiny
little bit of 50 spf in alittle bottle that we had.
(06:43):
So I reserved that for mybeautiful, beautiful face.
But my body totaled, ruined,absolute fiery car crash for my
body and there was pain, upset,discomfort so that's been that's
been my two weeks right,there's you fucking small talk
and shove it up, your ass, we godid you do anything?
Did you do like boulder orsomething?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
like that oh shit, yeah, yeah, I went.
Some bouldering is what I nowknow it's called I really didn't
know.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
I just chucked a word out there and just so happened.
That's something you did crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, I didn't know the.
Uh, it was called boulderingand then, as opposed to, was it
rock climbing or wall climbing?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
well, you tell the listeners at home.
Dylan, what did you do?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
why?
I think, well, it's calledboulder zone, but then you
basically just fucking climb upthe walls and, uh, what is it
probably about?
Three meters, four meters.
It can't be higher than thatbut yeah, you've got this.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Zero ropes, no ropes.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Uh, you got the mats down at the bottom.
Should you you obviously fall?
And uh, yeah, you've got this,this series of rocks.
Then to climb.
The idea is not to use all ofthe colors, it's to stick to a
certain route.
That obviously varies indifficulty and I actually really
(07:58):
, really enjoyed it.
I don't think I was too bad,but I probably fucked up my
knees a bit because, jumpingfrom up there instead of
climbing down, I figured, yeah,that just wastes energy.
That wastes energy for the nextone, because some of these
things are really not that easyto climb.
(08:19):
And yeah, needless to say, thenext day I couldn't walk
properly.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
You had climber's knees or boulder's knees.
Boulders, boulder's knees, andto what degree?
How hard did you go?
How difficult did you go?
Or did you stick to the bigchugs, as they call?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
them.
I don't know what thedifficulty level is like.
I know it is better than thekids, than the kids area um at
restaurants, like because youtry because I'm trying to warm
up there.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
You're like kids, fuck off, move out the way.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Right, I didn't want to be a prick about it, but they
keep on hogging the fuckingwalls like fuck you guys.
Yeah, um, so I chased them awayto the playstation so that they
could go.
It's a bit late, guys, come on.
Um, no, so, um, I think thelevel was uh, six.
Uh, there's apparently yeahthat I chased away.
Yeah, um, I guess, or you justsaid that I chased away um, yeah
(09:19):
, apparently the difficultyscale is from 1 to 12 or
something, and we just got up to6.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I think it was, and then like slipping off at 6, or
you were like comfortable at 6?
.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
No, no, it took me probably about 5 times.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
We're talking about the difficulty of rock climbing
anyone who's at home is going tosnap that up and get Dylan in
trouble.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
He's talking about the difficulty of climbing that
sound bite would go viral.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
it would go but we wouldn't then be going.
Let's and get Dylan in trouble.
He's talking about thedifficulty of climbing.
That soundbite would go viral.
I'm pretty sure it would go.
It would go, but we wouldn'tthen be going.
Let's go, team.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Let's go.
No, we wouldn't, we wouldn'ttake a team, anyway.
Oh, that was, that was.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I'm sorry, that wasn't a.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Nice job.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Right.
So, dylan, let's sprint away.
Nay, let's run away.
All right, drop it down low.
Three word story, dylan, welast week, last two weeks,
whenever it may be we decided touh start up businesses in south
(10:18):
america, yes, which gave us ourstories.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Uh, we had, uh, my company was going to create
nicknames and surnames insuriname and you were gonna coca
leaves you were coca leavesguys, coca leaves in south
america, and then I thought,yeah, let me just take it to
asia.
So we got the same story inasia so yeah, I mean, uh, we've
started those.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Now they're in production.
We've, uh we've fundraised sofar.
Uh, we're in development stage.
So if any investors are outthere that want to get into
business in Suriname fornicknames and surnames, hit me
up.
If anyone wants to get into notdrug smuggling- let's make it
very clear to the authoritiesout there that we are nothing
into drug smuggling whatsoever.
It's just cocoa leaves.
(11:00):
Please leave us alone.
We're very sorry so it was justa joke, so uh dylan, in asia
and asia is famously large whydid you go to set up a business?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
and why so?
Pretty serious.
Oh sure, I actually alreadyhave set up this business and
it's already quite profitable.
I've kind of been operating forthe last two years, so I will
tell you where it is.
I will leave the three words tomyself until I get into the
(11:39):
story because, I'm not going totell you.
I'm not going to tell anyone andyou have to decipher them from
the story which, if history saysanything will be a fucking stab
in the dark you couldn't eveneven get to my three words,
despite me actually trying touse those three words.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Honestly.
You tell me that in thebeginning your story and at the
end I'm like there is no way.
There is no way that thosethree ways corresponded.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
But I'm sure this time, dylan, they will.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
So where is this business?
What is this business?
What have you been doing?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
casino not in macau beijing, beijing.
So you've got yourself a casinoin beijing casino in beijing
yeah, right okay, I have to pullsome strings forward, um, but I
think it's.
This would be uh, this wouldkind of be the definition of a
plan coming coming together, andthat's what.
(12:33):
Uh, that's what I'll explain toyou just now.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Okay, so is your story about this casino.
So I can't now ask you anythingabout this casino, which is
usually a good four to sixminutes of our patter.
Uh, to really eke out thisabsolute horseshit that we talk
about, okay, right so, and thisis me shaking my head like the
listeners can yeah?
Yeah, they can hear your, yourbreathing, go in and out, and in
(12:55):
and out, and in and out.
So maybe that's why, yeah, um,okay, well there's four fucking
valuable minutes in the podcast.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Gone, jesus.
Well done, dylan, nice job no,tom, not nice job.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
We needed some patter to get to at least 45 minutes
for the algorithm.
So anyway, okay, dylan.
Well, I guess I will try andeke out my piece of shit that I
have to talk about, so half anhour, here we go so, dylan, I
take you to a country that Iobviously know is the country
(13:27):
and I'm not zooming out, just toclarify.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
So don't get it wrong don't be silly.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I go to the british tourists favorite traveling
destination, thailand.
Now because I am not middleclass and above and slightly
posh.
I have not been there myself into be a British uh kind of in
your early twenties, late teens.
To travel to these places youusually have to your parents
have to have a bit of money, um,and that's about it.
(13:52):
Me, not so much scumbag wouldonly go to uh anywhere in Europe
, so, uh, I've not been.
(14:13):
The life-changing stories andabout how I don't know bowl of
noodles changed my perspectiveon camels or whatever, uh, or
how the water is so fresh thatit cleaned my soul, or whatever,
um, so it's all new to me, soI'm coming at a completely
business point of view.
Okay, okay, we're talkingbusiness.
I'm not going there to takedrugs, to kind of find myself
right.
I'm going there for a differentreason, because I didn't go
there as someone in my 20s orlate teens to live it large, as
the kids say.
I'm going there as a fullyfledged adult, okay, an adult
(14:36):
that has, let's say, a bit ofrage, a bit of a bit of bit of
stuff, bit of life baggage tolet go.
Okay, and I think Thailand hasthe perfect place to go to let
out that rage.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Ladyboys Sorry no, that's a different.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
No, no, no, no no, no , no, Not ladyboys, so we are
going out.
You might have to correct mypronunciation.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
We're going to Phuket .
Yeah, it's pocket.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
And I teed it up.
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
what you've got.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Nice job.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yeah, you've got a nice job Because, yes, I believe
it is probably pocket Pocket.
Oh, a little bit of an accenton there as well.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Okay, wow, that's coming for you.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I didn't realise I was with a tie in the room.
Are you a lady boy?
No, so we have.
Right, so I'm sure it's calledPuckett for a reason, but
because of my colonialisticnature, I'm coming in with the
Isle of Fuckit.
All right, I like it.
So for the people that didn'tgo there and find themselves in
their late teens and earlytwenties, they just figured fuck
(15:42):
it their late teens and early20s.
I'm going back there and I'msaying fuck it, right.
I'm saying fuck it and fuck you.
What am I specifically going todo there?
Well, there's shit loads oftrees, so I can go there with a
hatchet or an axe.
That's so specific.
It's not that specific becausethe map is in my eye gaze and I
see a lot of green which Iassume to be trees.
It's just moss, yeah to betrees, so you can just moss yeah
(16:06):
yeah, moss growing on wood I'mseeing.
I didn't realize you knew it'sa dirty lake.
It's just one massive mossylake.
No, dylan, no that, I believethat they are probably trees.
Um, you'll be happy as I zoomit onto this map.
There is rebel rock climbingthere, so you could say fuck it
(16:26):
all right I'm gonna do some rockclimbing and or bouldering with
a six-year-old or not, or I'mgonna do it with six difficulty
or above, or I could say fuck it.
I'm gonna go to an elephantconservationist and ride a
fucking elephant and give it ahigh five and be its friend,
befriend it and talk about deep,meaningful issues, like you
know what do they do when theirnose gets blocked.
(16:47):
You know what do they do whenthey need to pick something out
their teeth.
Do they use their trunk?
Or did they get someone else'stusk?
I don't know, fuck it.
That's what I'm saying.
So my business is to bringpeople to the wonderful country
of Thailand, to bucket countryof Thailand to Phuket, phuket.
sorry, it's like I'm with theThai man himself, and you come
(17:10):
here and you say Phuket, fuck itall, right, okay, so is that my
cue every time?
yeah, yeah, I mean I'm lookingcan you not read this sign that
I'm holding it up and oh, it'sme again.
Okay, yeah, okay, okay, um, so,yeah, so it's basically, you go
here and you say, uh, you sayfuck it.
Okay, what else can you do?
(17:31):
Swim, fuck it.
You could go to moo one, youcould go to moo two.
Uh, am I just reading off thismap?
Yes, yes, yes, sir, yeah, whatdo you reckon, tom?
Nice job.
Yeah, the prep has gone hardinto this one, so I think that
I've eked out as much patter asI can.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, that's definitely four minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And now, I'm sure, because they seem to have
regions here, a different Mu canhave a different region.
Look, I'm making up for yourlack of patter okay, so I'm
gonna go into the fact thatthere's regions in thailand
called moo dylan and you'regonna fucking like it, okay,
right.
Moo one okay, they can have itwhere you hit trees.
Moo two okay, that's where youfreaking, just go in and bash
(18:09):
one out.
Moo three okay, you could do.
You could do, freaking, claypigeon shooting dylan.
Move four you could say fuck itI'm gonna go swim.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Listen, could I just tell you it's.
I think it's funny because Ikind of wanted to do the same
thing.
I'm looking at this map and I'mlike, yeah, so, dylan, what can
you talk about?
Yeah, it's in the town, town,or it is uh, the guang uh or the
uh jheng.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Is this your casino?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, you should fucking know, it's your casino
apparently so okay.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Well, yeah, so you get it now.
The regions of Mu 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, they can all have
their own fuck it regions, youknow?
So fuck it, dylan, right, okay,so are we with these stories
(19:03):
team?
Yes, let's go drop it down lowwith three word story, right,
dylan?
I have formally announced.
I've talked to the group, theteam who are cheerleading in the
corner, remember that, oh, Ididn't announce my three words
fuck it, we'll get to that lateryou're holding.
Yours is the theme of the themeof the podcast.
You're gonna do your storyfirst.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
And you've already spoken to the team about this.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah, yeah.
What do you say team, let's go,team, let's go.
That means yes, it's you first.
And Tom, what do you say?
Nice job?
Yeah, he says a nice job.
Give it a nice job, because youare holding back your three
words and I know the listenersat home Busting to find these
three words.
What is your casino in Beijingabout All?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
right and why the story reported as widely known
or not so widely known, but thisis the true account of it and
I'm going to keep this prettystraight to the point pretty
serious.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Oh okay, sorry, sorry yeah okay as um.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
So you don't want any of these.
You don't want any of no, no,no it's not an a-hole story.
Okay, all right, but I willallow you to ask me some
questions after I recount.
Is that a word?
Recount my story?
You can, it depends Anyway.
(20:25):
Okay, tell me.
Alright, three words Story.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Pink.
Okay, we're going straight intothe three words Dragon Layers.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Glayers, ooh Layers, sorry.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Sorry, do you want to go back over that?
I'm not going to edit that out,we're going to go back into it
Because you were so sincere andthen you hit me with a misword
at the end.
So again, pink, pink Layers.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Dragon Glayers glares , glares, glares, g l fuck.
Now you make him spell g l a re s glares.
What is that?
Not a word?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
help me, help me out glares glares.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Use it in a sentence I am glares.
Fuck off Glares, okay.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Wait, you can't just keep saying the word glares.
Well, let me tell you.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
It actually has nothing to do with my story.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, no shit, because you don't even know what
the word means.
Wow, welcome back to Three WordStory.
Right, come on, help me outGlares.
Right, I'll tell the story.
Let me to Three Word Story.
Nice job, right, come on, helpme out Glayards.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Right, I'll tell the story Let me just go into this
yeah yeah, tell the story onceand swiftly.
Okay, I am not a gambler, I'm astrategist.
Okay, I'm a planner, mm-hmm.
So when people ask how I, ofall people, helped launch the
(22:01):
most successful business in Asia, I give them the truth.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Komodo.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Dragons.
Let me explain Please.
There were four of us P Ink, gLayers, d Dragon.
So Peter Ink, emotionallydamaged, suspiciously good at
limbo.
Glenn Layers Only wore swagpants, believed mercury was a
(22:26):
vitamin Vitamin.
David Gragan, chronicallyunemployed.
And me, chronically yeah.
And me the fourth amigo, theone with the plan, it was 2015.
Bangkok, let's go.
Team.
We were on a Contiki tour.
(22:47):
Regrets, optional Hangovers,mandatory, okay.
And then we found Club Pink.
Motto we love bites.
This will become important.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Sorry, what was it the motto of the?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
The club.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
So you found the club .
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Club.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Pink, we love bites For Peter Inc.
No, no, they've got nothing todo with each other.
Pure Quinky Dink.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Quinky Pink.
So here's where most people getit wrong.
Earlier that day, david showedup holding a sack Inside a
Komodo dragon he had rescuedfrom a man behind a tuk-tuk in
exchange for my wallet.
He named it Gary yes, myfather's name Again.
(23:34):
What David didn't know and Iabsolutely did was this ordinary
lizard.
What I am saying was thisordinary lizard and that was my
wallet Was no ordinary lizardand that was my wallet.
According to the plan, as hedidn't own a wallet, gary was
(23:54):
the only Komodo dragon I've everencountered who responded to
jazz flute and had a deadlyallergy to papaya.
He also hated eye contact.
I loved the scent of a woman'sperfume so I stopped wearing it.
After that, in Club Pink, davidset Gary down during a lap
dance.
He claimed it was to let himbreathe.
(24:16):
However, moments later, weiChonglong, a Chinese exchange
student and a sandal enthusiast,walked past Gary, lunged and
bit his ankle.
Chaos Screams.
The dance had to put a dickback.
Peter ink tried to negotiatewith a bouncer using
(24:39):
interpretive dance.
I remained calm.
I wrapped gary in a curtain,applied great goose as a
disinfectant and recited a linefrom mulan way.
Survived through the pain,blood and possibly light venom,
he looked up and said I owe youa life debt.
Then he blacked out, cut to.
(25:02):
Eight years later, wei Junlongis now China's Minister of
Infrastructure and StrategicAmusements and yes, that is a
real name, I checked.
He controls the licensing andtour grants.
Great for our plan.
David messaged him a couple ofyears back, about two years back
(25:23):
.
Hey bro, you remember when, uhwhen, gary batu, three weeks
later, we were pitching the pinkdragon casino?
The name, a tribute to histrauma.
The logo a komodo dragonwearing aviators.
They're sent in the lobbypapaya, because revenge is
(25:47):
subtle.
Today the pink dragon casinobrings in 72 million huang per
quarter and gary, immortalizedin bronze wearing a bow tie,
still allergic to papaya.
People say it's the luckiestbusiness launch in history.
It wasn't luck, it was planning, it was precision, it was me.
(26:09):
You want to build an empire?
Start with a Komodo, name himGary and wait for him to bite.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Thank you, let's go, team, let's go.
Wow, okay, wow, I was engrossed, I didn't want to get you off
your vibe there.
Pretty serious, it was serious,a lot of detail.
It was painting a picture.
It was painting anextraordinary picture in my head
(26:40):
.
So I've got a few questions.
So where did you meet thesepeople?
Where was Club Pink Bangkok,thailand, ah, thailand, okay,
right, because you did say theChinese exchange student.
I thought for a second theChinese exchange student was in
China and I was really confusedas to why he would be exchanging
in his own country as a chineseexchange.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah, he's in thailand, he was in thailand
fuck it by any chance.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
No, no, he wasn't okay.
No, it was too early for that.
Okay, right, and so you arepart of this, uh I am incredible
casino.
The fourth amigo the fourthamigo, so excuse me.
So, uh, just to go back to, wasit gary?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
layer.
Uh, no, no, no.
No, gary was my, not mine, it'snot my lizard, it's komodo,
komodo.
It was glenn, glenn, glennglenn layer layer.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Okay, and peter ink, peter ink.
Okay, so paint for me peterpeter ink, right?
What type of guy is he?
If I'm going to bump into peterink down the road, what?
What were we saying?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Peter Inc.
Yep, very good at limbo,probably wears a lot of hemp.
Um, very free spirited.
He's probably the person thatwanted to find himself on this
tour.
He was that guy.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
He was that guy that the hemp checks out.
He was probably riddled withcocaine at the time, I imagine.
Yes um finding himself inquotations trying to save the
planet whilst also inhalingthings that were destroying the
planet also have third eyetattoos um everywhere.
What is the third eye tattoo?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
it's like the, the uh , the two eyes and the third eye
, like the uh the, the mind ofeye.
Eye of mind, mind of eye tattoo.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
What is it.
Did he have it tattooed on hisforehead?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
No, that's not where it would be, but it would be
tattooed somewhere else.
So he had them tattooed?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Now for the third eye .
Did he have two eyes and thenanother eye above it, which
would then make it three extraeyes.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yes, okay, it would be three eyes, with the mind's
eye included into your twoadditional eyes.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Okay, that's what I mean.
So now this man is riddled witheyes.
Yes, so he must have beenriddled with cocaine too, and
just mushrooms and all kinds ofthings to be like.
That's fair.
Feed me with eyes, okay.
And so who got poisoned again?
Who was the?
It just went so quickly, I was.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
That's fair.
Wei Wei Wei got poisoned, gotbit by Gary.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
By Gary, who was the Komodo.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
And he was in a sack.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
And where's Gary now?
Where's Gary to these days?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Gary, is he got?
We actually took him to ataxidermist first because he
unfortunately has metaphoricallykicked the bucket.
Okay, but they said theycouldn't help us.
So, yeah, we dipped him inbronze.
So now he's in bronze.
Just dipped him in bronze, yep.
Just his lifeless iguana bodyJust dipped him in bronze In a
Komodo.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Komodo, sorry, I could tell how angry you were
about that.
Sorry For misracing your lizard, not gendering Misracing, yeah.
Race, race racing, your lizardmiss not gendering miss racing.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, race right species, species, your uh, your,
your pet, your friend.
Yeah, look, it was verycalculated.
I mean, look, did I know thekomodo will strike way in
particular?
Yes, yes, I did.
Oh, I also knew way's kind ofbackground.
I knew he was, uh, he was going.
That's actually his reason foruh going on the kontiki to.
(30:03):
It was before going to studypolitical science in beijing,
china.
So, yes, a very calculateddecision on my part.
Um comes from a family ofdiplomats.
That's ironic, is it?
I don't know, I am the diplomatin in china yeah, yeah, you can
(30:26):
be a diplomat wherever you want.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Dylan, it's very diplomatic yeah, nice job.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
So yes, nice job tom, fuck's sake.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Okay, right, well, can we?
It was an extraordinary storyand I was really engrossed in
everything that was happening.
I think it'd make a great filmunless it is a film, and I'm
completely missing the point inwhich I apologise greatly, but
it no, but I can probably speakto the uncanny resemblance that
it might have to the Hangover 2movie okay, well, I missed that
boat entirely.
(30:55):
Did they start a casino?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
No, they don't start a casino.
However, they are in Bangkok,thailand, and, yes, mr Chow is
probably there.
And, by the way, I only thoughtof this afterwards and I'm
being completely serious, dylan.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
I have no doubt that you could unknowingly recite an
entire script of a mid-2000scomedy movie and paint it as
your own with no malicewhatsoever.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
I can.
Very nice I can you could?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
And this is my friend Horat.
He's very nice, he's from.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Kazakhstan.
Oh, he is actually from.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Kazakhstan.
But I can.
I would understand that fromyour encyclopedia-level
knowledge of mid-2000s comedy.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
It's actually sad.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
It is your best trait .
If you want to call that sad,then I wouldn't call it I like
it and we would all say let's go, team, let's go, let's go Right
.
Can we get to the bottom?
Because I know the listeners athome are dying to know what the
fuck is a glare Right defineglare.
(31:57):
We need to do it right now.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Is somebody not glaring at me.
So if somebody glares, wouldthen be past tense glare, stare,
stare, right layer.
No, hold on, hold on okay, Iget what you're doing you are
letting me dig, and I appreciatethat, but I'm going to use this
opportunity to, yes, dig deeperokay, right yeah, okay, fine,
(32:24):
we're gonna stick with it yeah,you're gonna stick to glare,
because, right, what's yourspelling of a glare?
g-l-a-y-e-r.
No, no, oh the g-l-a-r-e.
Glare, glare, just glare.
What fuck?
G-l-a-r-e?
Yeah, glare, yeah, well, andthen the s.
(32:45):
There's an s at the end.
Glares, yeah.
So that's past tense of glare,whatever the fuck that means.
What is it?
Just to glare?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
at someone yeah is that?
Is that?
Is that not a thing?
I mean, you glare at someone.
I'm glaring at you right now,in disbelief of what is going on
.
I feel like I'm having a stroke.
But where did glare come from?
It's not like glare, glare,glaest.
What is?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
it my mispronunciation of the word.
Well, I hope so.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
This is the letter glare, but you said glare,
g-l-a-r-e.
Glare, glare, glare.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Glare, yeah, glare For the next Glare, so glares.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Glares for the next.
So glares, glares.
That was phenomenal, that was,that was digging deep into it.
Look again, everyone at home.
English is Dylan's secondlanguage.
You would think maybe the fifthor sixth, but it's it is.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
It's not glaire, glaire, it is glaire, glaire
actually I think my dad hasbrought this up, where I tend to
add some sounds sounds to aword that isn't actually there,
just sticking some spice onglare it's the same thing.
When, uh, I say the word bold,right it like now, I said it
correctly.
But normally I would say bold,old, bold, and he's like what?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
the fuck.
I'm a quarter bold over there,maybe that.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Maybe that's what it so yes, this is me confessing
yes, dad, you're right, fine andbold and glares, you just want
to go for like a bit ofLouisiana spice on all your
words.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
I say a glare over there for that by old man Shit
Okay.
Well, there we go.
I mean, I hope you lean intothat.
I want that to be yourpersonality.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Glare.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Glare.
I mean, I hope you lean intothat.
I want that to be yourpersonality.
I do say I declare Well, thankyou very much.
Thank you very much, it soundedlike.
Again we can go back through itand see is it copyrightable or
not, which I'm sure 70% of theshit that we say, is
copyrightable.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yeah, I've got some ideas on kind of building
backstories to the character,but no, I just wanted to tell
you how serious I I was about myplan and it's just the uh, the
sheer genius of me uh being ableto, uh, to deliver the genius
of you genius of me, drop itdown low with Dylan.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
Yeah, what's up.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
So Right, we've got a couple of minutes out of that.
I know we're absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
I know I love how you purposely messed up that word,
because you were like, if Ithrow some spice on it, that's
going to get the four to sixminutes of patter that we missed
at the beginning.
And our listeners, they lovepatter.
You're just pip-p padding herway to our next story.
So obviously I went to fuck itin thailand, which will be named
this, because we're going tosay fuck it about things and my
(35:36):
story's got, thankfully, nothingto do with fuck it, um, or who
cares it's actually more of thejing song.
You right, just for thelisteners at home.
I assume you're, uh, you'rejust looking at a map and saying
, yes, okay, thank god for that.
I just, I just thought you werejust looking around and just
(35:58):
saying these things blindly.
No, you were reading a map.
So these words are real andthey are not characterizing
anyone in a stereotyping way,because we have three word story
.
Don't believe in that.
We believe in making ourselveslook like nincompoops and no one
else.
Okay, yes.
So my three words for my areain bucket that I would say fuck
it to are wincing hamperscheerleading, okay, wincing
(36:25):
hampers, cheerleading.
Now, these words flew very well.
Flowed flew, flew.
They flew very well, um, and Icould have gone for a whole
story about how wincing hamperscheerleading, um, but like my
lovely business that I'm goingto set up, I said fuck it.
And I'm really just going tofocus on one word, because I
want to fuck it, okay.
(36:46):
Theme of the podcast Dylan.
I want to Fuck it, okay.
Theme of the podcast Dylan.
Fuck it, okay.
So I looked into cheerleadingand not in a creepy way, okay,
and I thought what do I enjoyabout cheerleading?
Right, what I enjoy aboutcheerleading is the chance.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
That's my favourite category.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Oh Dylan, that's not a Nice job.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Right, that's it.
Purpose it purposely what Iwanted to go, what I didn't want
to talk about.
Cheerleading dylan, I'm sorry,yeah okay right.
So you, your favorite dancecategory.
Shall we say, yes, the uh,because you know we want to keep
this podcast completely so fuckit, we are.
We're talking aboutcheerleading right now.
I thought what do I rememberabout cheerleading, uh, in films
(37:34):
, because we didn't do this inthe uk.
I don't know.
Yeah, did they do cheerleading?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
no, I think it's a very, very recent thing.
They've kind of started to workin but not really.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
It's not really like a big deal anywhere else in the
us.
You know, like americanfootball, how they're like.
We're the world champions atthis thing that only we do.
Um, they kind of the same thingwith cheerleading.
Yeah, so I want to bringcheerleading out to the wider
world.
But when I looked in, they doalready have a world competition
for cheerleading and I wasdisgusted to see that it was
(38:05):
based on teamwork, athleticism,choreography and just general
impressiveness.
Okay, it was more of anathletic endeavor and I don't
want anything to do with that.
I want the chance.
Okay, give me a D, give me a YGive me an L.
(38:25):
Give me an A.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
Give me an M there's a lot of spelling involved.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
There is a lot of spelling involved which you
could do with.
So we don't end up with a glareopportunity again.
We'll get a glare right.
So we can take this worldwideand we're going to focus on
nations having their own cheersquads.
That is based on the song, notthe athleticism, because you
know what happens with theathleticism, dylan a lot of
wincing hampers the overall joyof what cheerleading should be,
(38:52):
which is rallying a group behindyou and getting them to shit on
the other team, which isbasically what the olympics
should be about.
Okay, all right.
So it just means that anyonecan be involved.
Whether you're fat, thin, tall,small or whatever you may be,
you can get a chance together.
Okay, dylan, it does that makesense.
Yeah, okay, so I've prepared acouple of cheer chants for you,
(39:14):
okay, especially for you, um,and then we can see.
Maybe we could play around andand see what we can get.
You know, to make our ownchance, or you know, we'll just
see how long this takes.
We'll just fucking chat, shituntil, uh, it hits roughly 45
minutes and go home.
All right, how does that sound?
That sounds fun, festy, let'sgo Right.
So, dylan, for the first one.
I've picked RSA South Africa.
(39:37):
You know your land of joy andfreedom, and whatever else you
say about it, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Yeah and I, I just fit it with some words played it
around, right, and I need thisis a cheer, right.
So I'm going to point at youand I need you to hit me with a
word like yeah or go or whatever.
It's a cheer thing, right?
It's going to be a lot of a lotof spunk, a lot of sassy nars,
right?
A lot of you know cheer.
Don't say glares, okay.
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Don't say glares either.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Not a cheerleading competition.
For the last time, dylan, stopglaring at cheerleading
competitions, okay.
So I have a song here.
To be honest with you, Idownloaded this just before I
left.
I have no idea if this willwork at all, which it usually
doesn't, but let's go for it,okay, sure, okay, I think this
just might be cheering, right?
So we're in the chair stadium,okay.
Okay, south Africa has come outto the cheer group.
(40:29):
Wow, the idea of this is to getpeople on your side.
Right, we're going, we arefucking out, they're going crazy
up there.
Did you hear that?
They're really here for SouthAfrica?
So in this cheer, we are goingfor the key things of South
Africa, something that saysSouth Africa to the world.
Okay, and you are going to hitwith a word, a bam, to get that
(40:49):
spunk, that spazziness at theend.
I don't know why I said thatword, but okay, right, okay,
right.
So we're just going to go forthis, dylan, right, we're going
to go for this.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
We are going to give you a cheer, Are you sure?
Right?
So?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
it'm going to need you to do that for me.
I think.
Right, okay, right.
So you're going to give me abum-bum clap, right, all right?
Table Mountain, skyline High,yeah, safari Drive, big Five
Drive, hee-hee-hoo, vuvuzelaBlast, rugby Fast.
(41:23):
Lee-lee-lee Bright Flames.
Bill Tongstash Ha-ha, elevenThongs One Big Song.
Le Le Le Bright flames.
Bill Tongstache, ha Ha, eleventongues.
One big song.
Like a Front five strong Singalong.
Hey, give me an R, r, give mean S, s, give me an A.
(41:48):
A For the rainbow a cotton tray.
Hey, there we go.
Wow, so that was South Africa'sentry to the cheerleading
competition.
How did you find that, as amember of the state of RSA Of
the Republic?
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Republic, yeah Of.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
South Africa.
How did you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Well, I think I only heard the last two sentences of
the Republic, sorry, of SouthAfrica.
How did you feel about that?
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Well, I think I only heard the last few sentences
because I was trying to keep therhythm and try and not do
something inappropriate which Ifound more difficult than it
should be.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
But yeah, like I enjoyed the chant, I enjoyed all
the references.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
It's not difficult getting a crowd in your corner
with that chant.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Okay, so you enjoyed it.
Yeah, so any more referencesthat you would have had for our
essay.
So I had Table Mountain, someSafari, big Five, we had the
Vuvuzela in there.
We had Rugby in there.
We had Rugby twice actually hadthe vuvuzela in there, we had
rugby in there, we had rugbytwice actually.
Because I also put front fivein there, because obviously
that's like you know, you'refamous for your big, your big
forwards bri flames, bill tongum, I think we could have gone
(42:59):
for for wildlife.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
I think we could have gone big five, big five.
I got the big five.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Oh shit, so uh safari drive, big five jive there we
go Big Five Drive.
Yeah, rainbow Nation, maybeRainbow Contre.
I said at the end.
Ah, that's what it was, becauseI said Give me an R, give me an
S, give me an A.
A doesn't rhyme with nation, soit was Rainbow Contre.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
I actually really like that.
I didn't, is that?
Even?
I didn't know that was anEnglish word.
What country Cont?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
I didn't know that was an English word.
What country?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Contre, contre.
No, it's just me, it's me, it'sme.
You're saying country, you'resaying that way.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
It's me putting some sparse on Contre, oh shit.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Yeah, well, it actually that's ironic, like
Contre in Afrikaans, I mean kindof refers to area, or like I
think it means area.
Oh, it refers to to area, orlike um, I think it means area,
yeah.
So yeah, I accidentally did anafrican, yeah, that's why I was
kind of shocked by that and Iwas like the the rainbow kind of
contrary, or or community, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, I fucking
(44:02):
winged that.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I hit.
What do you reckon, tom?
And there's nothing offensivein there which I, you, we can
all say is great and we can allsay let's go so.
Rsa for the win who's up next,or are we going to have?
Speaker 2 (44:16):
to do something for no, no, I've got.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
I've actually got two more which, judging by the time
, might be fucking enough, dylan.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I was really really scraped and barred okay, so I
went for I'll.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
So I went, for I'll, I'll admit I went for your
country, went for my country andI've gone for the USA as well,
mainly because I didn't want toget into trouble with any
accents or anything like that.
You know so that's unlike us.
I know, I know so.
I nearly did a German one.
I know that would have gonedown very well, but I didn't
have time or the effort.
But you know what, If this goeswell, fuck it.
(44:52):
I might come back to the uh,cheerleading international
championships later, because wedo France, and then we do um.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
What is it?
We'll do Spain.
Why not?
Okay, all right, do you knowwhat?
I Fuck it.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
We'll add it in again next time.
We'll come back to thecheerleading.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Maybe we'll do a special.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
No, no, no, maybe we'll just do a special on the
international cheerleadingcompetition.
Fuck, there's so many thingsthat we said we should do and we
never do.
Maybe we'll do them one day.
I'll write it down somewhere orI won't Right.
Next one Next up, dylan we, theUnited Kingdom, entering the
stadium.
We're getting ready.
Okay, it's the same stadium, soeveryone's like, really, you
(45:32):
know, we've opened the doorsagain.
The crowd are hot for this one.
Okay, so I want to stomp, stomp, clap, clap, clap again.
Okay, so I need you on yoursharpest behavior, okay.
And then again I'm going topoint at you and try and
embolden yourself in someBritishness.
Okay, like, give me a tally-ho,give me a top of the morning.
I was Irish, literally.
The second thing I had tofucking say wasn't even British.
(45:52):
Just, you know, fucking, justgive me anything Morning,
whatever, right, I want you toembolden.
You know you've got an Englishside to you, dylan.
I know this.
Feel it Be.
So, again, we want the stomp,stomp, clap, clap.
You got it for me, or are youprepping?
Speaker 4 (46:09):
yourself.
I'm prepping myself.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Okay, right, the crowd is warming up.
I wonder if that woman's goingto go fucking mental again like
she did before there she is Ican hear her Right ready the UK
team.
Let's go, big Ben chime, teatime rhyme.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Blokeke, stop clapping.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Double deck ride River tames, glide Pound what.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
I'm just saying.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Castles, locks, valleys, green Dodgy the best
queuing you have ever seenKnackered, I like that one.
It's a very little shine Chipswith gravy Bob's back, footie
fans drinking getting wavyLocked up.
(47:02):
Give me a?
U?
U, give me an N?
N.
Give me an I-O-N.
I o n, I o n jack.
Somebody.
Give us our country back.
Oh right, well, that was the?
Uh, that was, that was theunited.
By the way, I don't share that,that sentiment of I don't give
(47:24):
a shit anyone.
Go to the uk, freaking someonetrying make people work, because
we have a million people inthat country not being bothered
to fucking work.
So I don't give a shit anyone.
Go to the uk freaking someonetrying to make people work,
because we have a million peoplein that country not being
bothered to fucking work.
So I don't feel that sentiment.
But there's a lot of freakingwhite supremacists out there
that do.
I just thought it would behilarious to chuck it in,
because they would be the oneswho would be well up for this
cheerleading concert I'llfucking tell you something about
(47:45):
the uk sunshine, and I lovedyour words.
What were your words?
Because there was one that thecrowd loved.
Yeah, it's knackered, knackered.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
I'm fucking knackered .
Speaker 1 (47:57):
Yeah, that was good, that was good.
Right, okay, for the next one,then I'm going to need you to
get some American phrases outthere, I can do that.
Okay, because it's going to be.
Look the USA, as we know,famous for their cheerleading
competitions, but I think thisone will level the playing field
a little bit for them.
Okay, we're not going to go forathletic merit, we're not going
based on how short your skirtis, dylan.
(48:19):
We are literally just going onlyrics and getting the crowd in
action.
Okay, dylan, so when you areready, you're going to put your
American hat on, you're going toget your Americanisms out there
and we are going to hit the USAteam, not hit them physically.
We're going to, we're going tosee them.
So we're going to open up thedoors again.
We're going to need some stomp,stomp, clapping and we're going
(48:40):
to see how this crowd reacts.
Let's go, team.
Let's go coast to coast.
Messicle to toast bet, grandcanyon deep tariffs are steep.
Cool child pageants at 6 route66 no cap world champions of
(49:09):
american football chill no cap.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
World champions of American football Chill.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Don't mention Vietnam , because that'll be hurtful Lol
.
Speaker 4 (49:25):
USA will make everything.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Bff Donald Trump is our king Woo.
Okay, I think they like thatone.
They like that one.
Well, dylan, I like the lol.
By the way, I like the pre-lolwhich was a laugh out loud.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
They're followed by the lol, which is amazing.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
Okay, dylan Wright, obviously you are's put.
Try and put your impartial haton now.
If you are the judge of thiscompetition.
You've just seen rsa, you'veseen the uk and you've seen the
usa.
Who would you give the trophyto, and why?
Speaker 2 (50:01):
um my unbiased opinion yes.
Third party outsider.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, no personal interest in the matter.
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Yeah, rsa.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah Well, dylan that was truly a remarkable three
word story episode, where wefound our Asian businesses and
we located a location to placethem, which gave us three random
words using the wonderfulwebsite what three words map
(50:31):
service to get us for you Anamazing casino, I think, in
Beijing, revolving uh iguanas,not iguana, oh my unspeaking
your fucking come on.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
Sorry, your.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Komodo dragon.
Okay, and your three words werelayers.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Glare, glare, glare.
Maybe I should start saying itlike that.
Words were Glayers, glayers,glayers, glayers.
Maybe I should start saying itlike that Okay, so Glayers,
mm-hmm Pink.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Mm-hmm Dragon.
Okay, and mine were WincingHampers Cheerleading.
I think we absolutely,phenomenally, phenomenally
smashed that one Now Dylan fornext week.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
What are we gonna do and why?
Speaker 1 (51:15):
and I'll ask you this straight up, where would you
find a genie?
Speaker 2 (51:17):
imagine putting you on the spot, right there, and
then being like you need to picka location right now and then
don't fucking tell me, becauseI'm gonna ruin next week's story
I'm going to north k week'sThree Word Story.
Speaker 4 (51:29):
I'm going to North Korea back to Pyongyang.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
Next week on Three Word Story.
Speaker 4 (51:38):
Let's go team, let's go Drop it down low with Three
Word Story.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.