27.Napoleon Visits The Future & Nuremberg Comment Box

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Step into a world of underground wonders as James and Dylan embark on an improvisational journey to discover hidden civilizations beneath our feet. Using the What Three Words app as their guide, they transport listeners to mysterious caves with fascinating histories and supernatural connections.

The adventure begins with James recounting his recent visit to Team Lab Phenomena in Abu Dhabi, where immersive digital art installations create magical experiences—though somewhat marred by holiday crowds. His vivid descriptions of interactive projections and impossibly black spheres set the stage for our exploration of other mysterious spaces.

When searching for underground lairs, Dylan takes us to Ecuador's Cueva de los Teos, speculating about connections to El Dorado myths and the possibility of civilizations living deep within Earth's core. Meanwhile, James shares his personal experiences at Wookiee Hole in Somerset, England, where childhood fears of an animatronic witch gave way to adult encounters with unexplainable phenomena that left him questioning his skepticism about the supernatural.

The episode features two brilliant improvisational segments that showcase the hosts' quick wit and historical imagination. First, Dylan transforms into time-traveling Napoleon Bonaparte, who's eager to set the record straight about his height (he insists he's 5'7") and his numerous romance novels. Then James crafts an alternative history where social media platforms like "Instagram" and "YouTube" were actually invented in 1662 Nuremberg through mass-produced pencils and sheep-skin scrolls—complete with the same toxic comment sections we know today.

Whether you're fascinated by underground mysteries, historical reimaginings, or just love spontaneous comedy, this episode delivers with the perfect blend of research and absurdity. Subscribe now and join us next week as we search for locations where you might find mythical creatures!

Thank's for listening, Tune in next week for another episode!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Three Word Story.
I'm James.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I'm Dylan.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
And this is the podcast where we take three
words from the app.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
What three words.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
And improv the shit out of a story.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Today on Three Word.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Story Humor me.
I'm a humor puma.
Humor me.
Okay, Please don't do thatagain.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Let's start your week today.
Three words To the world.
Who is your oyster?

Speaker 1 (00:36):
That is funny.
I prefer the cat.
Dogs are for pussies.
Jump in, Jumping in.
You want me to jump in BecauseI'll jump in.
Merry podcast to you.
Dilbas Dimbledore, how are you?
Avalokitavara and a merrypodcast.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Avalokitavara.
Avalokitavara.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
I was banking on people having watched that reel
you were what?

Speaker 1 (00:59):
At least knowing you were banking.
Sorry, you were banking onhoping that.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
That I mean, I think everyone in the known universe.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Dylan has seen the, and that is why I called you,
because I think of you everysingle time, especially when it
goes to the.
Every single time I think ofyou.
Do you like how I pulled themicrophone away from my face?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, veryprofessional.
What do you say, tom?
Sorry, he doesn't say that.

(01:29):
He says nice job.
Thanks, tom dilbas dimpledor.
How are you today?

Speaker 2 (01:32):
and why?
Yeah, not bad I.
I wanted to respond asdumbledore dumbled uh, whatever
the fuck you called me.
Yeah, yeah, uh dilbas dimpledoris what I call this dilbas
dimpledor.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
I might do a few episodes of Harry Potter-related
joke names because it's in thezeitgeist at the moment They've
cast for a HBO series of HarryPotter.
I don't know if you've seenthis or not.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
I've seen this, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's creating quite the stir because people hate the
fact that maybe there's somediversity in this particular
series now, so that maybethere's some diversity in this
particular uh series now.
So that is wound people up thewrong way because apparently
fictional characters can't beanything other than white in the
harry potter?

Speaker 2 (02:11):
okay, so that makes me ask the question who was then
not the typical cast?
Oh, like you don't know, youdon't know, okay, no, no,
there's two notable there's twonotable.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
So snape is a black man I think it's the guy who
plays doctor, who I think he's afamous actor, very good actor,
seems very good um it, but whogives a fuck you know whether
he's.
Whatever he may be.
And then hermione is um puertorican maybe I'm not quite sure

(02:45):
she's not like, um, uh, it'sreally gonna sound awful.
Whatever way I say, she's notwhite, right and again, that's
absolutely fine.
Good for them.
Who gives a shit?
The people apparently onlinelosing their rag because this
book that they once read whichI'm not sure if they ever
actually described the skincolor of these kids or not, who
knows but because they were castin a film once upon a time.

(03:06):
Apparently that needs to bethat forever.
But hey, they've come in,they've added some diversity,
they've shown that the world isa diverse place.
So why not?
Well done, well done the peopleinvolved.
Tom, you say nice job.
Tom is not racist, he's a notracist producer, he's a nice guy
and he likes he seems prettyconsistent in his approach of
most things.
He is look hey if you brought upanything out of order, you know

(03:29):
.
If you said anything like heytom, what's your thoughts on the
kkk?
Nothing, just nothing at all.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'mnot gonna.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
That's not.
I got excited there's a second.
I'm not gonna give him a nicejob.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
No, he is consistent.
He would rather say nothingthan something negative, and
that's what we like about ourproducer.
He's a nice guy nice job sodylan, today we are obviously
we're gonna find our three wordsusing the map application.
What three words?
And we're gonna find somewheretoday, uh that, where we think
maybe an undergroundcivilization may live somewhere

(04:02):
in the world.
So it's quite broad, um, butbefore before we get into that,
let me tell you about awonderful place that I visited,
uh, that I cannot remember thename, that I copy and pasted and
now I've just pasted and now Ican remember, okay, so yesterday
, uh dylan, I went with uh aliand two friends to Team Lab

(04:26):
Phenomena.
Have you heard of said place,yes or no?
Tell me, is it a?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
laser tag arena.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Do you know what It'd make a great laser tag arena if
it was?
It's not, in fact, it is anarea.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
It is a laser tag arena.
Shit, I wish you had it.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Come back.
I wish you hadn't got me withthat one.
Uh, no, dylan, it's not, itwouldn't make a great one.
It's basically how to describeit is art installations of a
digital nature.
Okay, okay.
So picture this you arrive atsaid event arena in abu dhabi
okay, wonderful city, thecapital of this great, great

(05:08):
nation and you go there and it'sa blacked out room.
One thing I would say aboutthis place lighting is minimal,
and I guess that adds to theambience, right.
So you go there, you have afoyer, you're queuing and it's
pretty dark and you go in andthen there's these tall pillars
and they've got projectors onevery single surface of colors
moving around, animals weavingand ducking, and you can

(05:32):
basically work with yoursurroundings.
So there could be petals, let'ssay, on the wall, and I could
brush my hand over them, dylan,and then they would move, like I
am the master of the sceneryaround me.
It's a magical place.
So you go from room to room,area to area and you experience
different things.
There's one room.
It's a big, old cylindricalroom and in the middle is an

(05:55):
impossibly black ball.
So I mean, like you're lookingat it and it's it's like a
silhouette, silhouette like ashadow, like it just seems like,
how is this, this dark Like?

Speaker 2 (06:08):
am.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
I looking into a hole , like, has someone bent over?
And am I just looking deep intoa hole or not?
And then these fans come on andit raises ever so gradually and
it's wonderful and grandiose,right, so it's things like this.
Then we had some tea aroundsome Japanese lanterns and then,
yeah, it was pretty good.
There then was this was the dryside, right?

(06:29):
So the dry side it's, as youwould imagine, not very wet.
Okay, then we went to the wetside.
Now the issue with going at thetime we went, dylan, is it was
the holidays, so Eid Mubarak toeveryone out there and to our
muslim friends eat my barrack.
The issue is kids are plentyeverywhere.

(06:51):
So what should have been alovely ambiance and lovely art
fixtures and a big floatingblack void, for some reason was
slightly ruined by screaming.
Right, so you get to the dryarea.
Everyone's pretty chill, right,everyone's just relaxed oh yeah
, it's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Put a bit of water in there.
Especially in the desert, youput a bit of water in there is
what the kids think.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Right, they're going and you know what they're gonna
do.
They're gonna fuck shit up,right.
So the first room you go intoyou have to take your shoes off
and you're kind of like shin,mid shin height and there's like
these floating I don't likeboys almost and kids are going
fucking spastic for it.
Like everywhere else being calmhere, chaos and pandemonium,

(07:35):
just the the sharp smell ofchlorine and kids diving over
each other, splashing everywhereand you're like shit.
I've just gone to a water park.
So the wet stuff I would eitherwait till the kids are back at
school or not bother.
The dried stuff.
Oh yeah, it was good, it wasfine, right.
So it was basically projectorseverywhere.
It was a very immersiveexperience.

(07:56):
You were fully immersed, unlessthere was kids screaming and
shouting at you.
But I would recommend, I wouldgive that uh four out of five.
Uh, three word story points forthat okay, that's yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Four out of five.
Three and a half, three and ahalf I'm gonna give it three and
a half.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
I'm gonna give three and a half because it's my fault
for going when it's theholidays I, if you could go on a
wednesday yeah, when the kidsare at school.
I'm sure, and you went in earlyit would be a four and a half
five, you know, but because ofmy stupid fault, what's trip
advisor out of?

Speaker 2 (08:24):
like it's also out of five, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but fuck those guys.
Yeah, yeah, this is a threeword story.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Trip advisor.
We're coming to you.
You know we're taking overeveryone.
Everything will be related andthey'll be like why is out of
five when it's three?
And we'll go, don't, don't youworry, don't you worry I thought
he was going to pop up youthought I to pop up, didn't you?
uh, so that was my, that was mystart of my holidays.
I would, I would recommend thatplace.
Just don't go when the kids arescreaming.

(08:53):
And uh, sadia island, abu dhabi.
What a beautiful place.
All right, go there.
Dylan, have you been up toanything interesting for these
merry holiday?

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, no, I actually.
I actually kind of started thebeginning of the week.
I actually started pretty well,but then after that, yeah, I
got a bit of illness.
I'm not sure if it's kind ofthe temperature change, I don't
know, but like I just woke upthe one morning feeling so flat
and, yeah, kind of just spentthe rest of the week recovering,

(09:24):
I guess, and yeah, not to bringthe vibe down.
But yeah, that was basicallythat I was basically, I am up on
my feet again.
Yes and uh, yeah, ready to,ready to rumble exactly, and
that's what you keep saying tome.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
You keep grabbing me.
Look, let's always say you arealways rumbling, we're ready to
rumble For those who don't know.
With the temperature change inDubai, it's gone from hot to
really fucking hot.
It's basically a sweatbox outthere.
So it happens right.
There's air conditioningeverywhere, there's germy
wormies, but Dylan is firing allcylinders and he's ready to go.
Rumble, so Rumble just acorrection.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
Drop it down low with three word story oh Rumble.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Okay, I thought that would have been a really good
transition, Okay no, that's fineOkay so, yeah, okay, Drop it
down low with three word story,dylan, right, so please keep it
like that.
We wanted to find our threewords based in a place where we
thought we might find anunderground lair.

(10:30):
I don't know why.
I don't know why I put spice on.
Fine, okay, hey, get out therubble, tom gather rubble.
What do you say behind, rightyou?

Speaker 2 (10:53):
know that that was.
Could I, could I just apologizeto you?
James, I started laughing atthe way that you pronounce
something which, which reallyhappens, it happens to me all
the time and you don't shit onme when I do it.
And then, the first opportunitythat I had, I fucking jumped on
it because I thought that wasso funny.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Fuck you man.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
So, Dylan, I'm going to style this one out.
And what?
Did you find for yourunderground lair you dickhead.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, it was kind of a.
I was unsure if I was going togo dark with it.
I don't know if you rememberthe, uh, the story, or like
there's a book um child indarkness.
Uh, no, please let me know.
I think it was written 1985.
I can't remember the author.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
And how often, dylan, are you?
We announced the three wordswhere we're going to go find it.
How often do you sit there,look in the mirror and go?
Am I going to go dark today?

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Oh, actually almost every time, yeah, a hundred
percent.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
There's so many different ways you can go, and
even with the story itself, Ireally sit there and think you
know what maybe this directionbut normally what I do is I
stick to my first instinct andthen I run with it whether it's
a good idea or not, I just runwith it.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
What mid-2000s comedy film can I parody out of this
one?

Speaker 2 (12:23):
coming up next on the three-word story yeah, um, but
no, uh.
I decided not to go.
Dark, not child in darkness, Idecided to go I am looking
forward to the day mid-2000sanimation road to el dorado,
that's the way I went with it.
Or, if you really want to, youcan go early 2000s, with

(12:48):
atlantis possibly, but no, Iwent to cueva de los teos and
for, for those listening, thethree-word story at gmailcom.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
do you want dylan to go dark next time?
Let us know in the comments ofspotify or the email address
okay, so we've gone to sorryagain.
Ecuador pronunciation okay, andwhat we think and we're finding
there, dylan um, that would beel dorado.
So yeah, and moving on, andmoving on, we said we said that

(13:21):
it was somewhere where we mightfind an underground lair or
civilization right, what do youthink's going on?
tell me, no, it's uh, I mean nolet's start off with that no,
and let me continue so we wentto an improv class once and um

(13:55):
people weren't too fond of me inthat class because, um, yeah,
it either started with no or Icouldn't get my three words out,
which is essentially no, yeah,literally

Speaker 3 (14:05):
so tell me the exercise.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
No, I don't want to okay, so moving on.
So it's located high in therainforest um about one uh two
kilometers uh south of thesantiago river, but basically
it's a cave with a vertical void70 meters downwards.
How did you come across thisvoid?

(14:26):
I wasn't there personally.
I'll be honest.
I did some digging.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
I wonder why you came in with a suitcase and stickers
from no.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
I was.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
No, I just did some research and I actually figured,
instead of making up a locationor just going back home in
terms of caves that I've been inthere, I figured you know what.
Let me kind of scroll around,see, see what's up and then yeah
, kind of did some down yeahyeah, and went into this
particular cave or came acrossthis cave and I just love the

(15:02):
thought.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
You're just scrolling , scrolling around, scrolling.
Yeah, fuck me, is that?
Is that a cave?

Speaker 2 (15:08):
no man, hey cave.
I googled caves and then I wentfor for for caves that could be
linked to some other storyabout myths of people living
there or civilizations livingthere, and that's where I went
with this particular one.
And yes, considering that I didwatch the uh, the movie road to

(15:28):
el dorado earlier the week, Iwas like you know what this
links perfectly.
Let me stick to that.
It seems like it might bepossible, and the three words
okay.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
So does the?
Is it we hearing of the myth oris the myth relate to the story
?

Speaker 2 (15:43):
no, it's basically it's literally the movie, it's
basically this undergroundcivilization.
They have apparently foundtraces of human life down there
and it's basically this longtunnel and connections what was
they call it?
The series of caves underneaththe main cave, and they reckon,

(16:04):
yeah, people probably kind ofsurvived or lived down there and
, yeah, there's potentiallystill some, some roots or some
paths or tunnels to bediscovered.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Do we think that maybe there's still people
living down there?
Do you want to speculate rightnow?
Is there people down in thosecaves?

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Probably not.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
No.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
No.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
Moving on.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
Let's say let's humor me.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Humor me.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
I'm a humor puma, humor me.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
okay, please don't do that again what do you mean I'm
a?
Humor.
Puma Style me right now.
All right, what would they looklike?
Let's say, these cave people.
They're so deep in this cave,right, so they're barely seeing.
Like, what are these cavepeople looking like and why?

Speaker 2 (16:52):
don't say something racist, no, what I figured, okay
.
So to get back to the child ofdarkness story, I was like you
know what that could be linkedto vampires and I thought about
like the, like the europeansection.
I thought, ah, you know what?
Romania, maybe over there, likeI'm thinking that's the way you

(17:13):
go for it, but no, I reckonthey probably look um somewhat
latino.
So you just think that, yeah, Ithink so, I mean.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
But they're not giving any sun.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
There are probably some deficiencies within that um
for not being able or notseeing sun for x amount of time.
But yeah, I think as as a baselevel of of human that's
normally found in the area, Ithink that's so you just think
they're just standard CentralAmerican?
No, I actually think they looklike.

(17:45):
No, they look like aliens Okay.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
I'm thinking like golems, I'm thinking just a load
of.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
That was one part of it, but then what I figured
happened here was it opens upLike there are some myths out
there that, like the core ofearth is actually quite hollow,
okay, okay, here we go.
Now we're getting somewhere nowthey really are going to label
me as enough.

Speaker 4 (18:15):
Tell me, come on, I want to hear about this hollow
core all right.
Who's living there?

Speaker 2 (18:20):
come on yeah, um, animated characters, but no, no,
no, it's um so no.
There is some speculation thatthere could be a series of caves
that leading to or more towardsthe center of the earth, kind
of having a kind of a differentecosystem, but then hopefully

(18:41):
they would get their nutrientsand kind of do their thing Just
two kilometers below Earth towhat we do.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
OK, and you're actively speculating with these
people, based on science, Iassume.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
No, not at all.
This is pure speculation.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
You're not going in and chiming in on the Reddit
feeds going Hi guys, I've gotsome scientific evidence here.
I have found myself a cave inEl Salvador and I think these
are just latino people, but theygo to the core of the earth.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, you're not doing that.
I wouldn't say that out loud ifit weren't this podcast.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
No, fair enough, dilbas dimpled, or so okay, now
we know that you are a completefucking lunatic who believes in
people who live in the core ofthe earth uh, what were your
three words for ethavador?

Speaker 2 (19:26):
posting, gain a and promptness okay, nice, all right
.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Well, I'm looking forward to hearing.
Uh, what otherworldly tales youspin with such intricate three
words.
Now let me tell you, dylan,about where I got my three words
.
Now let me tell you, dylan,about where I got my three words
for.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
And why Wait, James, tell me where you got your three
words and why Thank you.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
I'm just wondering when you're ever going to ask me
.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
Dylan Okay, because.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
I want to know why, where I get myself from and why.
But no, I just have to spinalong like a neglected wife just
saying things into this goddamnmicrophone.
So good at it.
Oh, thanks, Dylan, I reallyappreciate that as you cheer
your beater to me that was aproper.
If you were wearing a whitebeater, beater, beater, that

(20:14):
would have been perfect.
You're like, and you're so goodat it, love you.
Go on there.
Yeah, he's all right, you knowhe says nice things to me
sometimes, Right, Dylan?
Let me tell you about WookieHole.
Have you heard of?

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Wookie Hole before you slam your head like that
once more, it's going to beproblems, kabam.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
No, it wasn't very bad, was it no, right?
Wookie Hole, wookie, wookieHole.
What do you think I say to you,wookiee hole?
What are you thinking?
I'm thinking?
Hole and hole.
Yeah, it's just a hole, I think, and hole.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Is it a hairy arsehole.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
And yes, welcome to hairy arsehole.
No, dylan, it's not a hairyarsehole.
It is in fact a location inSomerset, england Hole.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
No, not hole, that's a completely different place.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Hole H-O-L-E.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Hole.
Holy holy holy holy holy Hole.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
Okay, we're going wookie Hole Hole.
Okay, let me take you to thewonderful side once more hole,
hole, okay, not, not hole, don'tgo to hole.
It's wookie hole, right, lasttime I'm gonna say wookie hole.
Now, wookie hole is a smalltown in somerset england where

(21:39):
I'm from.
I'm not what from wookie hole,but I'm from somerset england,
as as I have said before.
So, like you saying, oh no, Idon't want to go back to South
Africa, well, fuck you, dylan.
I'm going back to SomersetEngland to tell you about a
wonderful place, wookiee Hole.
Now you're thinking huh James,what underworld civilization is
going to live in Wookiee Hole,england?

(21:59):
Well, let me tell you this,dylan Wookiee Hole is a a
sensational, woven, intricatedesign of underground caves you
with me, okay, yeah, it's the50th, 50th largest.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
We're in the 52nd deepest cave in southwest of
england uh, no, dylan, it is anancient cave system that's the
word that I was looking for,like earlier.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah, yeah, system, god, we are so clever um, and in
these caves they havestalagmites, stalactites, they
have acid, they have littlebubbly pools of witchcraft and
wizardry.
Uh, I went there as a child.
Uh, a young youth I've actuallybeen there multiple times
explains a lot.
There are two, and that's whyI'm an underground person.

(22:50):
I've been twice.
First time I went as a child, ayoung little whippersnapper the
name james, and at the end theyhave this witch pop out at you.
So, basically, you go throughthe caves.
It's all very cavey, as you'dimagine very deep, very wet,
very cavey, very dark, verycavey.
Okay, I hope you're gettingthis.
It's cavey echoing echo echocavey.

(23:11):
Okay, and at the end, for somefucking strange reason I guess
for the kids, but not forsomeone of my age a witch pops
out like this freakinganimatronic witch.
And then she's like I'm a witch, whatever.
I fucking flee and jump undermy grandfather's jumper that
he's wearing to hide fromsandwich.
Okay, so the first time doesn'tgo so well for me.

(23:32):
Now, on the return to wookieehall, I was an.
I was an adult.
I was probably in my earlytwenties.
Right, I'm gonna sock this I'mgonna fucking suck this witch
right.
So I go there and I'm like I'mprepared.
Any tomfoolery that wookieehall is gonna chuck at me, I'm
fucking prepared for you.
Prepared.
Any tomfoolery that WookieeHole is going to chuck at me,
I'm fucking prepared for you,don't even bother.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
I actually think that's pretty embarrassing, the
fact that you're already, as anadult, being like no, no they're
not going to get me.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
I'm basically Scrappy Doo.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
I'll wrap him, I'll tough him and everyone's like
okay.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
Just relax.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
So I'm, I'm tailing on the back of this group.
Okay, I'm tailing on the backof this group, thinking I'll be
last the line, right, cause Idon't give a shit what's behind
me.
Yeah, it's dark in here, butthere's nothing scary, there's
no witches, they ain't shit,right?
And as I'm walking, I and Idon't believe in ghosts, I don't

(24:26):
believe in any of that shit,right, and that's why I'm at the
back being a fucking hard nut,dylan, right, being a hard nut,
going to anyone who will look atme and say otherwise, okay, and
I just feel this otherworldlychill behind me, just like
what's that?
So I put my camera up, becauseI've watched those stupid ghost
like searching shows where they,they see the quotations, orbs,

(24:48):
right.
So I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonnarecord, I'm gonna put my flash
on and I'm gonna record it.
Nothing there.
I'm like, screw you, ghost, youdon't have anything on me.
I know nothing's there, I knowwitches don't exist.
Fuck you, I'm a horse you rodein on.
I watched the video back then.
Guess what?
I saw still nothing.
A tiny, floating, potentiallydust particle, but also could be

(25:09):
confirmed as an orb.
It was definitely a ghost.
100.
I saw one and it tried to spookme and it couldn't get me.
So fuck you ghost and wookiehole.
But yeah, in, in, in allseriousness.
Yes, though it did literallylike float across the screen and
I don't believe in this stuff,I genuinely don't but it still
gave me the willies.
Okay, if I was you know in 18,the willies were given.

(25:32):
I was, I had all the williesRight and I was like, okay, I
don't believe in it, but fuckyou.
Okay, but also fuck you.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
It's kind of just putting it no, I don't but I
want to get out of this cave.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
I don't believe that there is a load of El
Salvadorians in the core of thecentre of the earth, you know
doing their core people.
But I don't want to go thereand find out and prove anyone
wrong, because it's probably hotmagma and I will turn to slime.
If I go there, you get me.
Well, there goes that theoryExactly right.
So there is the legend of theWitch of Wookiee Hall.
Maybe I was haunted by her,maybe I wasn't, but I almost

(26:10):
certainly was, and she fuckinglooked at me and thought that
guy is a fucking tough nut.
I'm staying away from that guyand that's my story of Wookiee
Hall ladies and gentlemen, andnext time on Three Word Story.
Dylan, you're probably thinkingwhat words and I knew it was on
the tip of your tongue you'regonna go james.
What words did that give youand why?

(26:30):
I knew you were literally aboutto say that.
Let me do it, I always do yeah,and let me do it for you.
That gave me these three wordsfor wookie hole.
And this is precisely wookiehole, not even four squares away
.
It gave me irate followersteach Capiche, capiche, capiche.

(26:50):
Okay, tom, you ready.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
Nice job.

Speaker 1 (26:54):
Let's hit our two stories right now for a double
kill Drop it down low with threeword story.
Tell them You're up first today, as we prearranged this,
because we've gone past uh, rock, paper, scissors and all the

(27:14):
other tomfoolery in games andwe're just getting right down to
business.
So please, filber stimbledore,let's start your weeks today.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
Three-word story yeah .

Speaker 2 (27:31):
I think the flow of those words really makes sense.
I don't think you said anythingwrong, but you made me question
if that was actually the way tosay it.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
I was like I'm not sure that's the way you should
say it.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
I know he's the native English speaker, but fuck
that up.
You know I think you're notwrong.
Listen back and see on.

Speaker 4 (27:53):
Three.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Word Story to James.
Fuck it Up, he edits it, somaybe he can stitch it together
if he wants to, all right.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
So we've got an interesting character coming in
today.
Yes, now, as you kind of haveconfirmed me believing that
there's an ancient civilizationliving in the core of the earth

(28:21):
kind of basing or going on thatI also have a few bizarre
friends.
Now, this particular personbelieves he has time traveled
all the way from the 1700s Okay,interesting To today's time.

(28:42):
So he is actually not only heis actually or claiming to be
Napoleon.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Bonaparte oh shit, you just dropped that on me,
Just absolutely freaking.
I love the pause.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
I love the pause yeah because actually I couldn't
remember his name, ironically,but I could remember his surname
.
Bonaparte.
Yeah, of course you could.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Bonaparte, bonaparte.
Yeah, of course you could,bonaparte.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Bonaparte Anyway.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
So we have no proof or evidence if this is or is not
Bonaparte himself, Mr Bonaparte.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, yeah, I guess essentially.
So I mean, don't get me wrong,don't be rude about it, but I
guess you could try and uh on onmaybe a few things that you
didn't know of of napoleon.
Maybe kind of ask him you can,maybe maybe the audience can
fact check later, um, which theyalmost certainly would I mean,

(29:38):
our audience is exceedinglyclever.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
I know that, for if they're listening to words they
are a cut above.
For the rest, they're probablyoxford, uh, harvard graduates.
They're probably sat thereright now with their cigars and
their ancient books thinkingwhat?

Speaker 2 (29:54):
I have a really smug laugh indeed, christmas crampers
.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
So yeah, they probably would do and look,
we'll get this covered, and Iguess between us and the
listeners at home who are superpompous and super clever, we can
figure out if this guy is or isnot mr bone part today.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, uh, yeah, that's fair.
I'll let him take over and Iguess you you can ask him a
couple of questions, see howthings go.
I mean, feel it out.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
He's a bit of a bit of a nutcase, but good luck and
these guys in the corner, uh,with the instruments and they're
kind of like the striped shirtson they're wearing like garlic
things and those kind of like.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Actually funny, you brought that up um, yeah, so he
believes okay, on top of this,yeah that he is now attending a
banquet to celebrate his I meanhis achievements over the last
couple of years.
So he figured he neededsomebody to interview him, and

(30:59):
who else than the esteemed James?

Speaker 1 (31:01):
from Three Word Store .
Well, that's good.
I'm glad we cleared that up,because I've not spoken to these
guys once we keep making eyecontact the whole time we're
doing this.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
The guy with the tuba really seems to.
He seems to have it out for me,right, it's?

Speaker 1 (31:11):
really glaring.
I can just see his moustachejust draping over the mouthpiece
of the tuba.
It's almost kind of sexual andI don't like it, I'm afraid,
because the podcast you do isalso a bedroom, so.
I guess the band can kick on in, right, very nice guys.
All right, see you, dylan, seeyou.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
Cheers.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Go on there.
Sorry, you're probably not usedto these.
Mr Bonaparte, these areheadphones, okay, mr Bonjour?

Speaker 2 (31:43):
Yes, mr Napoleon Bonaparte as I live and breathe.
How are you today, sir?
I am absolutely magnifique.
How are you doing today, James?
I am fantastic.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
You have a lot of good vibes to you, Mr Bonaparte.
I'm feeling the smile.
I wish we were recording this,because the smile beaming on
your face is truly magnifique,as you would say.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
You know what?
As I actually popped into thisgeneration, I was watching Pink
Panther last night from SteveMartin.
What an absolutely hilariouscharacter.
Good one, good one on the show.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
And out of five bonapartes, what would you give
him?

Speaker 2 (32:26):
Obviously not my Bonaparte, but I would give him
a solid four.
Four better than the.
This might be controversial,but I'm going to say it
nonetheless.
It is better than the previousPink Panther, Ooh okay, that is
a With Peter Sellers.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
Okay, well, that is.
Look, when Dylan comes back,you guys can.
Is a bitter cellars.
Okay, well, that is I.
Look I.
When Dylan comes back, you guyscan have a big debate about
that Cause I know that issomething that he would really
think Right.
All right, mr Bonaparte, let methink of some questions for you
.
What can we, what can we askthe Mr Bonaparte himself?
I know you've been painted Allright.
Some might say a tyrant, somemight say a genius of his time,

(33:13):
but a man, potentially with aheight complex.
Which of those do you identifywith most Tyrant, genius or
short?

Speaker 2 (33:23):
ass, I would say D.
I would say, I am a tyrant agenius ass right I just uh, I
just want to take a moment to tocheers uh and make a thirst
toast to you okay, very nicewith slivona part.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Very nice for making a toast.
That was making a toast.
Okay, right.
So to being a tyrant genius and, uh, and having, maybe, a high
complex.
I hear word on the street isaround these parts that you
wrote a romance novel, right, uh, and allegedly once banned
women from attending certainmeetings.
A bit fruity there, mrbonaparte.

(34:06):
What was going on there?
And why?

Speaker 2 (34:09):
interestingly enough, and you can read this because
apparently we need fact checkersready all the time, but at one
stage and this contradicts itactually now that I think about
it.
But I once had to permit Womenin Paris could not wear pants or

(34:39):
trousers without a permit.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
All right, but anyway , to get back to your question,
so they had to have a permit towear them, otherwise their vag
was out no dresses or yes, theladies of the night were quite
prominent so just lady guardseverywhere they were really
ready for it anytime.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
But no, to get back to the question, being a romance
novel, you know what I wouldlike to toast to life and
romance Toast ching, ching.
Yeah, so no it was me as a teen.
I had my heart broken and thisreally got me into the depths of

(35:25):
my own heart and what elsethere could be for me.
So I wrote this novel and youknow what Did it land?
No, it did not, but it is allright.
It is not for everyone.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Okay, and was the novel pre or post you going to
war Actually?

Speaker 2 (35:43):
it was pre post and during, because you know what, I
could not stop writing thesenovels.
I actually wrote 26 of them.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Oh, wow, okay, and did any of them land?
Or was it just you reading them?

Speaker 2 (35:58):
No, it seems On top of my letters to my lovely
Josephine, my wife, which Iprobably shouldn't have wrote it
.
It is kind of like a drunk text.
My lovely Josephine, my wife,um, these, um, I, I, which I
probably shouldn't have wrote it.
It is kind of like a drunk textlike day after, but this is
like yeah, yeah, um, so, no, um,not any of them really landed,

(36:20):
no, but it was a passion of mine, and who, who is anyone else to
put me down of my passion?

Speaker 1 (36:27):
That's true, anyone in the band?
No, no, they've got nothing tosay for themselves, they're just
playing.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
The guy with the two-bar.
Who are you?

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Well, I've just got a message from Dylan, the guy
that you've arranged all thiswith.
Good guy, good guy, fun guy, heis a fun guy, he is a fun guy.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
We call him a mushroom around these parts.
I wanted to make a great man'sspeaker.
The French do not really laughlike that.
They don't laugh at all.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
Mishable fuckers Anyway.
So Dylan texts me this, sayingpeople often say you conquered
much To conquering.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
I just want to say to conquer you know what to the
world who is your oyster.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
So I figured that he texts me this just so he could.
So it feels a bit contrived,but we'll see what you have to
say about this.
Anyway, you conquered, but alsolost.
We'll see what you have to sayabout this.
Anyway, you conquered theplanet, but also lost.
How do you define gain in yourown words?
How do you define gain in yourown words?

(37:37):
This is from Dylan himself thelittle shit.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
What a terrible question.
How do I define gain in my ownwords?
Well, I cannot define them inanybody else's words because my
word is law, where I am from, sono gain is.

(38:03):
This might sound a bit dark,but yeah, gain was to conquer,
conquer, conquer life, conquerlove, conquer land.
Oh wow, that was magnifique.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
Oh wait, wait, the band is revved up for this.
You might not tell, but theyhave no, just turn it up
slightly.
They are feeling nationalistic.
Now, final thing before you go,napoleon, I'm sure you've got
many battles to fight.
Stand up for your motherland,for the modern listeners at home
, for those who are notnecessarily fluent in your work.

(38:43):
What do you want modernlisteners to remember you for?
Uh, and I'm not just thinkingthe hat, the height or judging
by this portrait you a terribleposture which what would you
like them to remember?

Speaker 2 (38:58):
you know what I would like to clear up.
Something about my height is um, this was purely propaganda
from the English side.
I am actually 5'7".

Speaker 1 (39:11):
A whole 5'7".

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Dylan Dylan.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
Did you hear that Dylan 5'7's good Dylan 5'7.
Yeah, it is, yeah, but that isgreat to hear, napoleon, that
5's.
Honestly, you and D-Bag are twopeas in a pod, beautiful.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
We are one of the same and uh yes, so it was from
the english that that kind ofmisconstrued.
I was actually a wee bit taller, um then a bit taller, a wee
bit taller, um, but it's funny.
And on that note, napoleon,that is funny.

(39:55):
Hold on.
What was the last question?

Speaker 1 (39:58):
for the modern listeners at home to the modern
listeners that was a joke.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
I only make toast to real, real achievements and
things in my life.
What was the question, sorry?
What would you like?

Speaker 1 (40:13):
modern listeners at home to remember you, napoleon
Bonaparte the great how wouldyou like to be remembered?

Speaker 2 (40:21):
I want to touch on a few things before I let you go.
So one is height I was taller.
Two, I could have arrived or Icould have attacked earlier
during the Battle of Waterlooyes, I admit that.
And then, ooh, exile right,this was a big one.

(40:45):
I escaped my first exile, goingback to Paris, and becoming
emperor again?

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Is this when you were replaced by chocolate
confectionary?

Speaker 2 (40:58):
You were replaced by the Bourbons right?
This sounds right you werereplaced.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
So how do you feel that you were replaced by
chocolate confectionary?

Speaker 2 (41:05):
Well, I just want to highlight the fact that I could
escape exile.
Ah no other man that I knew upuntil that point could do that,
except Captain Jack Sparrow.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yeah, you are, and I know you and you, the two of you
and Dylan together would make agreat drinking quartet Quartet,
so that three of you could makea quartet drinking a quartet
Quartet, so that three of youcould make a quartet.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Quartet.
Okay, no, just to kind ofhighlight that I love life and I
am sorry to.
I am sorry to have laid to havepassed so slowly, as they would

(41:49):
say.
I think I had a little morefirepower and I think I could
have left on a better note.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Well, mr Bonaparte, that was a true enlightening
experience, from all the wayback to whenever the fuck you
were alive, to today, 2025,.
I feel like we've crossed a fewbridges.
We've shaken hands from all theway back to whenever the fuck
you were alive, to today 2025,.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
I feel like we've crossed a few bridges.
We've shaken hands and we'vesaid let's move on together.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
What a lovely message , james.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
We, we, we we we're toast to that.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
We're toast to that.
Cheers Chin chin.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
Stroking off.
Well thanks, dylan coming backin.
Okay Right, ching chingstroganoff.
Well thanks, dylan coming backin.
Okay, right, and the bands justsqueezing by.
Thanks, yeah, thanks, guys,thanks, yep, nice thanks.
Well, dylan, that was.
That was truly a blast in thepast.
What a guest.
I think I might be your bestguest so far.
What an absolute freaking grabthat was.
Um from.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
Is that supposed to be a compliment, or was my
previous guest?

Speaker 1 (42:47):
just so you've managed to get a time traveler.
You've got like.
Napoleon is a.
That's a big catch man.
It's a big catch.
You managed to score that forthe podcast.
I gotta say well done so.
Uh, a big double.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Kill anna now it's probably the time to say it's
actually just this random guypicked up from the streets I
thought it was hobo jack Ifucking random guy picked up
from the streets listen, he'sgot a got a fantastic mustache
and, yeah, I think he does apretty good french accent.
So I figured why not bring himon?

Speaker 3 (43:18):
we were right, drop it down low.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Three word story dylan, yeah, tell me, james, so
it is incredible the synergythat me and you share.
It is magnificent, it is truly.
There is usually some kindsynergy mirroring between our

(43:43):
stories.
Right, my guest today is no,it's not really I'm joking I'm
joking no, um, I have gone.
We're getting continental europe, okay, and we are back in 1662,
okay, so we are not too farapart, location wise and time

(44:05):
wise, okay, and I've got a storyfor you.
It's been a while since we'vegone back to a story.
I'm usually testing you orcreating some silly game, or is
it prototype or not?
Or you know some of the fanfavorites I'm bashing out, but
actually I've gone back to astory.
I've been a researcher, ahistorian once more I like this,

(44:27):
I like, I like the.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
I could tell a good story, okay, well.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
I mean, I've done all .
I've had to go back to then and, as before, he's bare faced
fact.
And that's what I have for youtoday.
Okay, and so I'm taking you toNuremberg, germany 1662.
Okay, you're with me.
We have Paulus Imhoff.

(44:50):
Okay, let me set your moodRight, guys.
Guys in the corner, do you knowany kind of like German-ish
kind of music?
But not too German, not, thanks, not too German.
We don't want like umpire, wedon't want it to be a bit
stereotypical, we just want itkind of in the background.
We want to set the scene alittle bit.
Can you put something togetherfor us?
Okay, cheers, guys, thanks,thanks, right.

(45:10):
So, um, sorry, they're justtuning.
They're just tuning theirinstruments.
Uh, that makes sense, causethey've just done French.
You're gonna have to do Germannow.
So it sounds pretty sounds a bitAmerican little bit might be a
little bit better wait for it.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Why do you know the song?

Speaker 1 (45:31):
yeah, yeah, no, it's great, it's a great one, this,
right, okay, thanks guys.
Right, so we are painting thescene.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
We're in nuremberg 1662 oh no, now I know exactly
where I am exactly.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
You close your eyes and you can see it.
You can smell it.
It smells like shit, but you'rethere.
We have polis Imhoff okay, headof the council, so let's call
him de facto mayor.
Okay, at the time, this waspost-Roman capture.
30 years' war has passed andnow we have Paulus Imhoff,

(46:02):
leading With him Jakob vonSandrath okay, he was a German
engraver.
Okay, he.
He had just founded, in thesame time, in 1662, the academy
of fine arts in nuremberg, whichis still going today, okay.
Okay, now, another trulylife-changing invention let's

(46:28):
say invention, let's sayevolution of an invention
Happened in this city.
At the same time, the Fine ArtsCentre was founded.
1662 was the first time thehumble pencil was mass-produced.
Before, it was an expensiveluxury, not for the masses.
But in Nuremberg, in 1662, theylaunched to the world the

(46:52):
mass-produced pencil.
And so begins our journey ofPaulus and Jakob.
Okay.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
Oh, this is fun.

Speaker 4 (47:15):
Hiya Paulus, how are you today?

Speaker 1 (47:18):
Right, sorry, let's not mess around.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
Oh you shouldn't have said that.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
Now I'm like Okay right, there's no messing around
.
There's no messing around, sowe could.
I'm Paulus today.
My name is Paulus.
Okay, hi, paulus, and my friendhere is.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
Jakob.
Okay, my name is Jakob.
Okay, it's going to be quitesome hard work to try and
remember these voices, but I amJakob and I am Paulus.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Okay, so I am Paulus, the head of the council, the
Factor Mayor, and my name isJakob.
Okay, so, dylan, now you'reintroduced to Paolo and Jakob, a
very in the moment voice thatI've done and I have now
instantly regretted.
So we're going to take you tothe council meeting between
Paolo and Jakob and where westart to use the use of the

(48:07):
pencils and the etchings.
Okay, where we start to use theuse of the pencils and the
etchings, jakob, can I just sayI am such a child.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Can I just apologize to everyone and to you.
Where the fuck are you going toedit this?
I don't know, but me trying tokeep a straight face, yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Which is for the people of Nuremberg, Dylan.
They are dismayed because theywant their history told, okay.
So can we take this pleaseseriously?
Okay, Can we take thisseriously?
Want it for all?
Yes, Okay.

Speaker 4 (48:43):
Hi Sopalus, how are you today, Hello?

Speaker 1 (48:46):
Jakob, it's great to see you.
Hi.
I'm just so happy that thesemass-produced pencils, we have
managed to give them to everyonein our humble city, nuremberg,
so everyone now will be able tohumbly write in our alphabet,
which has way too many letterswhen we spell stupid words.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
Yes, I guess we do, Paulus.
We do have a lot of silly wordsin German, don't we?

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Yes, yes, we do.
Jakob Now I'm thinking Jakobnow the Romans have fled our
land.
Maybe we can rule in adifferent way, maybe we can take
the humble pencil for the massmarket and we can connect with
our civilization like no one hasever before.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
Oh, yes, that sounds great, and maybe I can do my
etchings.
And if you don't know whatetchings are, they are basically
little drawings that you justscratch into things.
So with, let's say, littlenotes that your people make and
my etchings we can buildtogether.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Yes, jakob, that sounds like a great idea, right?
So this is what I'm thinking.
We supply the masses withlittle bits of paper, but
because we are not a rich nationjust as of yet, what we do is
we give them a single gram ofpaper.
Okay, and what we do?
We will use your etchings andwe will give them out to the

(50:09):
civilization with a short, sharpmessage.
Then, with the single gram ofpaper and the pencil, they will
be able to leave us a smalllittle comment instantly.
We will get feedback, would yousay.
That makes sense.
Yes, that sounds great.
So, with a simple gram of paperand an instant feedback, we
will call the system Instagrams.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
How does that sound?
Yes, what a great name.
I'm sure it will catch on andwill be a thing Right?

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Jakob, for the first time, what we will do.
I simply want an etching of acat, simple, and I will go out
to the people and I will tellthem that all is good.
Look at the picture of this cat.
What a lovely thing to say.

Speaker 4 (50:52):
Okay, jakob, I'll get etching that and we will put it
to the people.
So.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Dylan, this was the first founding of the simple
message to the masses, a simplepicture, as you will.
You could say the first meme ofits time.
And Jakob and Paulus are goingto put out to the world their
first message.
Okay, are you with me?

Speaker 3 (51:13):
I'm with you thank fuck for that, because I don't
know if I'm with myself, mypeople.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
I want to tell you that, for the world, I want you
to look at this picture of a cat.
I don't want you to be dismayed.
I want us to live like this cat.
Everyone should be more cat.
Everyone look at the cat and behappy.
Capisce, capisce.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
That's very German.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
Jakob, I think that went extremely well.
We have all of these grams inthis box right here.
That gives us instant feedbackof what people think of this
wonderful picture of a kittenthat you have put together.

Speaker 4 (52:02):
Oh, I cannot wait to hear about all these comments
about my lovely picture of a cat.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
Okay, well, let me look through these.
Okay, so we have okay, I lovecats, yes, normal, Ooh, kittens.
It's so cute, I love kittens.
Ah, it's another one.
Ah, I can't wait to show mymother, my mother, my father
these pictures of this cat.
It's so good, See.
See, Jakob, we are bringingcivilization together.
We will unite people together.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
I cannot wait to do so.
You're such a good guy.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
Let me look through some here.
Why not draw a dog in Stein?
What's wrong with the kitten?
I hate cats.
This is not very good, look atall.
Why not draw more dogs?
You fascist pig?
That's not very nice at all.
Well, jakobub, maybe this timewe should draw a picture of a
dog and give it out to thepeople oh yes, a dog, paulus.

Speaker 4 (52:58):
I can draw a dog and we can see how people think.
Some people want cats.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Let's give them dogs so, dylan, we have the first
instance in human history of acomment section, okay, and we
see it falling apart instantly.
Okay, how?
What are you feeling so far ofthis take of 1662 and the world
that will be?
How real do you think this?

Speaker 2 (53:21):
is I'm, I'm enthralled, and this is, uh,
this could not be more true thefact that, yeah, instagram took
400 years to 350 odd years to toactually get to where it is
today.
So evolution evolution.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Indeed, dylan.
So we're going to go back topaulus and jacob.
They've just done the drawingand they put it out to the
masses of the doggenstein of thedoggenstein and we're going to
go back and we're going to seehow that plays out for them
sitting at the edge of my seat.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
I can promise you that fuck you.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Jakob, I do not know what is going on.
The picture of the dog has justcaused us more issues.
Look at the comments like thisfuck you, I hate your dog and I
fucking want to fuck your face.
Like who even says this?
I prefer the cat.
Dogs are for pussies.
It does not even make sensethat, like it literally, a cat
is a pussy and a dog is not.

(54:19):
I just do not make sense.

Speaker 4 (54:22):
Yes, all I wanted to do is draw a nice, lovely,
fluffy picture of a dog and acat and look at people fighting
one another.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
It makes no sense well, what should we do now?
Jakob, I am at a loss.
We try and give people onething that they want.
They try and give other peoplewhat they want and it ends in
chaos, pandemonium.
I do not know what these peoplethink in these comments boxes.
Why don't we go out and speakto the people?

Speaker 4 (54:50):
Ha yes, let's go speak to the people of Nuremberg
, alles klar.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
Is this good?
That's good, that's good.
So yes, young lady, you overthere, please enlighten me.
I am trying to rule the newNuremberg and giving people what
they want.
Sometimes People want cats,some people want dogs.
So what do people want?

(55:20):
I'm just a German lady inNuremberg.
The thing is, people are stillworried about the plague.
You know, no one actually givesreally two shizons about a cat
or a dog.
You know, you put thesepictures out there and you get
all these comments about thecartons and the dogons and
people are dying from plaguing.

(55:41):
People are dying from plaguing,and that's what people are
truly worried about.
You know, jakob, I think Imight be onto something here.
I don't think that we shouldjust simply be putting
individual snippets withoutthought out there and relying on
comments just of what peoplehave to say about certain things

(56:03):
.
I think we should go and speakto the people, the real people
of the world, not just what isin this stupid little comment
box right here, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 4 (56:13):
I agree, and actually , as I'm looking at the comment
box right now, I see Klaus overthere just shoving 10 and 20
different of the same commentsin over and over again.
I don't actually see any normalpeople pushing themselves in
this comment box right now, it'sjust Klaus.
And I know Klaus just sits inhis mother's basement all day

(56:33):
fingering his Banschensteisen,you know.
So I don't think it's a verygood way to do things at all.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
Ta Yasin Jakob, whatever the fuck your name is,
you in South Africa mate, eyes,eyes.
Formally agreed.
All of me, africa mate.
I firmly agree.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
All of me agrees.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
I think we can.
Maybe we can do something alittle bit more detailed for our
population.
They were worried about theplague.
Why don't we not give them asolution?

Speaker 4 (57:08):
Yes, it is such a great idea.
What are you thinking?

Speaker 1 (57:11):
Well, maybe we can take a female sheepskin and
write out detailed factualinstructions on them.
We can take a sheepskin and wecan put them in some cylindrical
vessel, you know.
So we can take all the femalesheep out there, all the ewes,

(57:33):
and we can put them in thesetubes and we can have
instructions of a detailed wayto detail with the plague.
What do you say, jakob?
Yes, we could call it a YouTube.
Yes, jakob, we can call it aYouTube.

Speaker 4 (57:57):
That one really cool, that one really cool.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
It was so shit.
It was so shit, oh fuck.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Like it was really pointless, Like it was a fuck me
oh wow.
Oh well, Dylan, I don't reallyknow what that was.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
I don't know what my point was I actually enjoyed the
story, but then that was theclimax of the story, and then
when you started laughing, I waslike, oh okay, well, that one
caught you but, then I waswaiting for the follow-up after
that and I was like no, we willcall it Z.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
YouTube what I'm trying to say, I think, is is go
YouTube go watch us on YouTubewith the three word story live
we will be recording more oftenafter this and we will be on
YouTube and I've got some greatideas of what we're going to do.

(59:09):
I'm thinking we're going to dosome a poker tournament in our
characters live on youtube oneday.
I had that idea yesterday, soit all plays into it, dylan, it
all plays into it, and you weresober while having this oh god,
no, I was absolutely off my titson heroin at the time.
But you know that is when thebest ideas, when you're riding
that horse.

Speaker 4 (59:31):
And and.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
What should we cover next?
On Three Word Story when are wegoing in the world?
Where are we finding our threewords?
On the wonderful map service,what Three Words?
Good question.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
James, back to you, okay.
Well, that is a phenomenalthing to say no, if.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
If I had to guess, let's go with where you would
find your made-up mythicalcreature okay, so we're going to
go made up mythical creatureand when I ask you what the fuck
your made up mythical creatureis, do not hit me with a no.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Okay, that's fair.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Right, it's going to be in my hometown, in next door
to where I live, and no, youdon't fucking get to know where
it is.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
Okay, so we're going to come back.
It's a crab.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
That's not very fucking mythical.
We're two heads.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
Whoa Next week on Three Word Story.
Kabam Drop a download WithThree Word Story.