Welcome to Throuple, the podcast that's the Islamabad of fentanyl! This week the gang is reading delusional NYC mayor Eric Adams' anti-drug book 'Don't Let it Happen'. This book has it all: out of touch drug slang (Dusty Road? CAT PEE??), pit bull b*stiality, blaming acne on ecstasy use, gang/lesbian style tips, malt liquor culture, and how to use “because I love you” hugs to detect guns on your family members.
Monica starts out strong with a beach Zoom background and color coordinated lime style (spoiler alert: she’s drinking boozy limeade). Liz reads the truly shocking introduction to ‘Don’t Let it Happen’ featuring a violent gang sex-in, and wonders about how to get jumped into famed hood Teletubby alternative the Boobas.
Eric Adams teaches us how to detect marijuana use (incessant laughing and stinky clothes), including an oddly detailed description of incense. Adams claims that the main method for ingesting PCP is on breakfast cereal and Beau recalls a former coworker’s crack habit.
Monica explains malt liquor culture and Beau describes his college favorites including King Cobra which Liz mistakes for venomous snake wine. We wonder if cocaine is vegan and Monica indicates her support for the gentrification of malt liquor (White Claw we’re looking at you!).
Eric Adams’ continues with a list of gang styles to look out for in your children’s wardrobes. On the gang list: unbuckled overalls, loose tees but also tight shirts, gang belt buckles on yoga pants, baby oiled hair, shaved eyebrows, and dark lipstick. Braless Monica and Liz wonder if they are in a gang. Beau realizes the book is inadvertently describing Chola style and recalls getting beaten up by his Cholo cousins as a kid.
Adams then tells a clearly fictional story about almost shooting a classmate in kindergarten. Monica shares her million dollar idea to hollow out Eric Adams’ book as a drug safe. Lastly, we toast to the mayor’s recent COVID diagnosis.
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