August 21, 2025 • 22 mins
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In this heartfelt conversation, Frank Beecham explores the multifaceted nature of grief, emphasizing that it extends beyond the loss of loved ones to include the grief experienced in relationships, dreams, and personal identity. He discusses the importance of acknowledging grief in its various forms, the significance of silence in the grieving process, and the strength found in embracing one's emotions. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, Frank encourages listeners to navigate their grief with compassion and understanding, reminding them that love endures even in the face of loss.
takeaways
- Grief is not limited to death; it encompasses all forms of loss.
- The quiet moments often bring forth unexpected grief.
- Grief is the price we pay for love and connection.
- Strength in grief is about feeling and acknowledging emotions.
- Silence can be a space for self-discovery and reflection.
- Love never truly leaves us; it transforms and remains.
- Talking through grief can be a powerful healing tool.
- Honoring memories can help in the grieving process.
- Grief is a chapter in our story, not the end.
- You are not alone in your grief; it is a shared human experience.
Thanks for Listening! Follow on us Instagram @tobefrankpodcast_ and snapchat @tobefrank2024
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsbNZuK-gEWRAaPMC6gwYcw
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
They don't tell you this about grief.
They don't tell you that griefis not just about funerals.
Grief shows up in breakups aswell.
It shows up when a friendshipyou thought would last forever
suddenly ends.
It shows up when life shifts,when the dream that you had
(00:24):
doesn't work out, and when theversion of yourself that you
used to be no longer exists.
Like when you look in the mirrorand you wonder, like, who am I?
It sneaks into the quiet momentswhen you're driving, when you're
watching a movie, when you'recooking, when you're...
(00:47):
where you just are.
And when you pick up the phoneto call someone who you know
will never answer again.
Or...
You pick up the phone to textsomeone who used to text you
back, but wouldn't do thatanymore.
Grief is not just about death.
(01:10):
It's about change.
And it's about how the universe,or in my case, how God whispers
in the silence.
Welcome back to To Be Frank.
This is where we keep it real,where we tell the truth, even,
(01:31):
even, and especially when ithurts.
And where we believe thathealing isn't just possible,
it's promised.
This month, we've been in aseason of grief and a season on
grief.
Last week, I sat down with theauthor, an amazing person, which
(01:53):
I know most of you loved andliked.
I say most of you because I'mstill waiting for some to come
back and give me your feedback.
But her name was Deandra FordWing for our first ever video
episode.
And we talked about her book,Redbird, and how hope sometimes
(02:13):
shows up with wings andfeathers.
So if you've not gotten thatbook, please go get it.
Make a read.
And let me know what you thinkabout it.
Let me know how that book hashelped you.
But today, I want to talk aboutthe grief that lives in the
quiet moments.
(02:33):
I want to talk about...
That grief that shows up whenyou least expect it, whether
that's after losing a loved one,losing a relationship, losing a
friend or even losing yourself.
Recently, I listened to thisamazing podcast that you'd hear
me talk about because it'sliterally like number one on my
(02:56):
list right now.
It's the Say More podcast withMiss JJ.
And again, I'll say this.
This is no way or shape or forma promotion.
It's just I like to presentthings that have helped me, that
have impacted me, with hopesthat they will do the same thing
(03:16):
for you.
Because that's what To Be Frankis all about.
We are literally being frank.
And To Be Frank, that podcast...
It's causing me to want to saymore.
I know, I know.
Too much on the puns and dadjokes and all.
But yeah, this podcast with MissJJ, they spoke about the
(03:39):
heartbreaks in friendships.
And that really gave me a lot ofdepth and a lot of introspection
to understand that grief is notonly about, you know, someone
that you love, that you you'velost it's also about so many
other layers see we often thinkthat grief belongs only to death
(04:04):
like death is the author theowner the you know the king of
grief but grief wears many facessaying that reminds me of an
episode of game of thrones whereyou know And if you're a big GLT
fan, there was a scene or thisepisode where, I've forgotten
(04:27):
what her name is, but one of theStark girls said she was with he
who has many faces.
That was basically grief, orthat is what grief is.
It's the silence after a breakupwhen you realize the number that
you have on the phone is stillsaved, but you can't call it
(04:48):
anymore.
It's walking past the cafe orthe restaurant that you used to
visit with your friend who's nowa stranger.
It's looking at old photos onvacation every year, that yearly
(05:09):
vacation that you take, andrecognizing that that yearly
vacation is not going to lookthe same anymore.
You are looking at it andrealizing that over the years,
you don't even recognize aversion of who you are anymore.
Grief is basically the price wepay for love, for connection,
(05:33):
for dreams.
I remember losing my dad, and Iwill give this podcast, to be
frank, big props.
Because if you know me verywell, you will say that, no,
(05:55):
Frank doesn't really speak much.
But if you don't, you would sayFrank is the most robust, if
that's the right word, but youwould say I'm an extroverted
person.
But I barely really speak on myprivate life or anything.
(06:17):
Barely really speak on thethings that really matter to me
because I cherish them so muchand I'm afraid that they will
lose their meaning the morethey're spoken about.
But my dad, my uncles, myauntie, basically everyone I've
(06:40):
lost.
Myself, especially myself that Ilost.
Reminds me of why I do this.
So back to the story.
I remember when I lost my dad.
Silence filled my world,actually.
I remember I was told that newsin January.
(07:06):
And I can tell you that that iswhen everything changed for me.
Because my first birthday, rightafter that, the following month,
I spent my birthday in thecemetery wearing black.
I spent my birthday with my dad.
(07:27):
And because I couldn't reallywrap my head around the fact
that I have lost a man.
And I can be very honest and saythat that sense of denial led me
(07:49):
to start to shut down.
Because you don't want to getclose to someone this much and
then you lose them.
It's like you're losing a partof yourself.
It's like you finally put inwork and you've lost it.
So I didn't want to let go.
But years later, years laterafter that, I also remember
(08:16):
grieving relationship that Ithought was forever.
And some of them say you werekids at the time, but hey, that
was like the highlight of myday.
If you can relate thoselistening to me, you know,
you're dating that one girl andyou're just like, or you're
(08:39):
dating that one guy and you'relike, this is the person I'm
going to spend the rest of mylife with.
You come up with cute nicknamesand You even start social media
together.
You have those couple pages.
Before there were TikTokcouples, there was literally a
couple pages for Facebook.
(09:00):
Believe it or not.
You say this is the personyou're going to spend the rest
of your life with.
And, I mean, it wasn't just me.
There were other people that Iknow who ended the relationships
and stuff.
And the silence after that wasalmost as heavy as when I lost
(09:26):
my dad.
Because different griefs comewith similar heartaches.
Because it's the effort that youput in that you lost.
It's...
Yes, you've lost the person.
And yes, you want the person.
But I believe that we alsogrieve because we had invested
(09:49):
ourselves.
So it's like, again, and todayI'm full of movie references.
It's like in Harry Potter whereI forgot what they called it.
But he who must not be named,Lord Voldemort.
And I proceed to name him.
Crazy.
Anyways.
(10:12):
Lord Voldemort kept parts of hissoul and so many other things
like the diary, the sword.
Is it a sword?
The snake.
I'm not saying that we are LordVoldemort, just to clarify.
But the investment we make withother people, we put parts of
(10:36):
ourselves in them.
So to lose them, is to lose partof us if it was genuine.
D'Andra said something verypowerful when we spoke.
And she said it was when herhusband asked her, what do you
(10:56):
need?
She realized she needed toscream.
Sometimes that's what thesilence calls for.
It does not call for words.
It does not call for answers.
It does not call forexplanations.
You can say, God, why did I losethis person?
(11:19):
God, why did this happen to me?
God, why did this happen to me?
But sometimes silence does notcall for any of those things.
It doesn't call for logic.
Sometimes it doesn't even callfor understanding of emotions.
It just calls for a release.
(11:39):
In Ghana, in my culture, peopledon't always know what to say.
So they say, and I say this,they say stuff like, and I call
it nonsense, but they say stufflike, be strong.
How am I going to be strong?
I just lost someone I careabout.
I don't want to be strong.
(12:01):
I don't.
But they say stuff like, youknow, and I'll be fair.
It comes from a great place.
It comes from a good place.
It comes from a place of love.
But they just don't know what tosay.
People don't know what to say insituations like this.
So they say stuff like I said,be strong.
They say don't cry, especiallyif you're a man.
(12:23):
And, oh, my God, I feel soterrible for even mothers.
They tell you don't cry.
Your children are here.
They tell you all sorts ofthings, like move on, like it's
easy.
But strength is not pretendingthat you don't feel.
(12:45):
And that's something that I'vehad to learn and relearn and
relearn.
To be frank, it's not easy toremember that.
Strength is...
not the same as not feeling.
Sometimes it takes a very braveand confident person and takes
(13:06):
all the strength in you to feelbecause it's easy to hide from
your demons.
It's hard to face them.
Strength is saying, I loved, Ilost, and I'm still here.
A different version of Veni, isit Veni?
Veni Vidi Vici, I came, I saw, Iconquered.
(13:27):
But this time, you loved, youlost, and you're still here.
Whether you're grieving someonewho died, or you're grieving
someone who left, or someone youleft, or someone who's changed,
or you're grieving yourself,silence is not your enemy.
It's a place where your soul,your spirit talks to you and
(13:56):
says, for me it's a place whereGod tells me that my grace is
sufficient for you and I saythat and I keep talking about
God because when I lost my dad Iwouldn't say I lost God I never
did God lost me because I hatedhim so much and I walked away
(14:23):
but he never walked away from meAnd I just want you all to keep
that in mind because sometimeswhen grief happens, it's easy to
walk away.
It's easy to say, it's easy toshut down.
But what we fail to realize isthat what we didn't lose hasn't
(14:47):
walked away from us yet.
But we are the ones who arewalking away.
We need to be conscious of that.
Like, in Deandra's case, whenshe lost her mom, she could
have, you know, shut down fromher husband, not spoken to the
(15:07):
man and whatnot.
But he didn't say the exactwords God said, but what he said
showed that he was there, youknow?
And...
It's the same way in your life.
There is someone there.
There is something there.
You are still here.
(15:28):
Don't walk away from yourself.
Do you know why the quietmoments cuts deep?
It's because love is louder thanabsence.
If you never loved someone, youwould never grieve.
(15:50):
And So grief, whether it's theend of life, a friendship, a
season, it's not weakness.
It's evidence that you did lovethis thing.
You did love this person.
You did love yourself.
(16:10):
Someone said this one time, thatthe silence of a man is the
speech of God.
And I found this.
That the quiet is notpunishment.
It's an invitation to rediscoveryourself.
(16:31):
Rediscover who you are.
Rediscover your purpose.
Rediscover that whoever you'velost or whatever you've lost
still lives on through you.
When you sit in the silence, youremember the laughter.
You remember the lessons.
You remember the moments.
And you realize that they'venever left you, neither have
(16:54):
they forsaken you.
They're still with you in thememories, in the laughter, in
the things that remind you ofthem that makes you break down
and cry.
Those are the same things thatremind you that they are still
with you.
Those are the things thatpresent themselves to you as
your red bird.
The friend may leave.
(17:15):
The relationship may end.
The person may pass away, butthe love never walks away.
You never walk away.
So how do we survive thesilence?
(17:36):
Don't run away from it.
Trust me.
I am giving this advice, but Iknow and I don't want to sound
hypocritical because sometimes Ialso run away from it.
To be frank, I run away from itsometimes.
But don't run from it.
I'm advising you and myself atthe same time.
(17:57):
Don't numb it with distractions,with distractions like, you
know, going to go get alcohol todrink just to numb the pain or
flirting with the next girl nextto you or, you know, engaging or
flirting with, you know, thenext guy or engaging in
frivolous activities just so youdon't have to deal with it.
(18:22):
Sit with it.
Second thing, talk through it.
Deandra mentioned something.
She said she was in her roomwhen she felt like her mom was
nowhere closer to her.
She spoke to her.
Talk to the person that you'velost, even if they cannot
respond, like I did with myuncle, where I sent him a text
(18:45):
message telling him of myachievements, like I did with my
dad.
I remember his birthday.
I went to his graveside.
And I actually had a friendteach me how to play the
keyboard, the piano, my roommateat the time.
(19:07):
He taught me.
I learned the keyboard.
I took his keyboard, went to thecemetery, played a song, Little
Do You Know, to my dad by hisgraveside.
Will he speak back?
(19:27):
Will he respond?
No.
But I still talked myselfthrough it.
I still spoke to him.
And I spoke to God.
But most of all, talk toyourself if you have to.
Look in the mirror.
Record a voice note.
Record a podcast.
And just speak to yourself.
(19:53):
And last but not least, honorit.
Light a candle.
Write a journal.
Plant a tree.
Revisit a memory.
For me, it's in my art.
I remember I started doingspoken word poetry.
I write poetry because it allowsme to revisit that memory.
(20:15):
Let the silence carry weight andnot shame.
And if the grief you carry isfrom a friendship or a
relationship ending, allowyourself to say goodbye, even if
you never got the closure youneeded.
(20:36):
That goodbye is not weakness.
I have realized and I'mrealizing that it's strength
because silence is not empty.
Silence is literally full ofechoes.
And if you listen, if you listenclose enough, that echo will
(21:00):
remind you that love, true love,pure love, it never dies.
It just changes form.
So to anyone listening to me,Whether you're grieving a loved
one, whether you're grieving alost love, a broken friendship,
(21:23):
or even the loss of who you usedto be, I want you to hear me
clearly.
You are not crazy.
You are not weak.
You are not insecure.
You do not have low self-esteem.
(21:45):
And you are not alone.
Grief is not the end of yourstory.
It's a chapter.
And in that chapter, you arestill writing it.
God is still writing it.
The quiet moments are heavy.
But they are also yours.
(22:07):
Because it is there that loveproves itself eternal.
Love proves itself eternalbecause it never died and it
will never die because that'show you were feeling and that
came from a place of love.
(22:28):
So if tonight the silence feelsunbearable in your room, I want
you to remember this.
Silence is not the absence oflove.
Silence It's a reminder thatlove is everlasting.
(22:49):
This is To Be Frank.
And today, To Be Frank, I'mstill healing.
And so are you.
Until next time, keep living,keep loving, keep believing.
I love you.
They don't tell you this about grief.
They don't tell you that griefis not just about funerals.
Grief shows up in breakups aswell.
It shows up when a friendshipyou thought would last forever
suddenly ends.
It shows up when life shifts,when the dream that you had
(00:24):
doesn't work out, and when theversion of yourself that you
used to be no longer exists.
Like when you look in the mirrorand you wonder, like, who am I?
It sneaks into the quiet momentswhen you're driving, when you're
watching a movie, when you'recooking, when you're...
(00:47):
where you just are.
And when you pick up the phoneto call someone who you know
will never answer again.
Or...
You pick up the phone to textsomeone who used to text you
back, but wouldn't do thatanymore.
Grief is not just about death.
(01:10):
It's about change.
And it's about how the universe,or in my case, how God whispers
in the silence.
Welcome back to To Be Frank.
This is where we keep it real,where we tell the truth, even,
(01:31):
even, and especially when ithurts.
And where we believe thathealing isn't just possible,
it's promised.
This month, we've been in aseason of grief and a season on
grief.
Last week, I sat down with theauthor, an amazing person, which
(01:53):
I know most of you loved andliked.
I say most of you because I'mstill waiting for some to come
back and give me your feedback.
But her name was Deandra FordWing for our first ever video
episode.
And we talked about her book,Redbird, and how hope sometimes
(02:13):
shows up with wings andfeathers.
So if you've not gotten thatbook, please go get it.
Make a read.
And let me know what you thinkabout it.
Let me know how that book hashelped you.
But today, I want to talk aboutthe grief that lives in the
quiet moments.
(02:33):
I want to talk about...
That grief that shows up whenyou least expect it, whether
that's after losing a loved one,losing a relationship, losing a
friend or even losing yourself.
Recently, I listened to thisamazing podcast that you'd hear
me talk about because it'sliterally like number one on my
(02:56):
list right now.
It's the Say More podcast withMiss JJ.
And again, I'll say this.
This is no way or shape or forma promotion.
It's just I like to presentthings that have helped me, that
have impacted me, with hopesthat they will do the same thing
(03:16):
for you.
Because that's what To Be Frankis all about.
We are literally being frank.
And To Be Frank, that podcast...
It's causing me to want to saymore.
I know, I know.
Too much on the puns and dadjokes and all.
But yeah, this podcast with MissJJ, they spoke about the
(03:39):
heartbreaks in friendships.
And that really gave me a lot ofdepth and a lot of introspection
to understand that grief is notonly about, you know, someone
that you love, that you you'velost it's also about so many
other layers see we often thinkthat grief belongs only to death
(04:04):
like death is the author theowner the you know the king of
grief but grief wears many facessaying that reminds me of an
episode of game of thrones whereyou know And if you're a big GLT
fan, there was a scene or thisepisode where, I've forgotten
(04:27):
what her name is, but one of theStark girls said she was with he
who has many faces.
That was basically grief, orthat is what grief is.
It's the silence after a breakupwhen you realize the number that
you have on the phone is stillsaved, but you can't call it
(04:48):
anymore.
It's walking past the cafe orthe restaurant that you used to
visit with your friend who's nowa stranger.
It's looking at old photos onvacation every year, that yearly
(05:09):
vacation that you take, andrecognizing that that yearly
vacation is not going to lookthe same anymore.
You are looking at it andrealizing that over the years,
you don't even recognize aversion of who you are anymore.
Grief is basically the price wepay for love, for connection,
(05:33):
for dreams.
I remember losing my dad, and Iwill give this podcast, to be
frank, big props.
Because if you know me verywell, you will say that, no,
(05:55):
Frank doesn't really speak much.
But if you don't, you would sayFrank is the most robust, if
that's the right word, but youwould say I'm an extroverted
person.
But I barely really speak on myprivate life or anything.
(06:17):
Barely really speak on thethings that really matter to me
because I cherish them so muchand I'm afraid that they will
lose their meaning the morethey're spoken about.
But my dad, my uncles, myauntie, basically everyone I've
(06:40):
lost.
Myself, especially myself that Ilost.
Reminds me of why I do this.
So back to the story.
I remember when I lost my dad.
Silence filled my world,actually.
I remember I was told that newsin January.
(07:06):
And I can tell you that that iswhen everything changed for me.
Because my first birthday, rightafter that, the following month,
I spent my birthday in thecemetery wearing black.
I spent my birthday with my dad.
(07:27):
And because I couldn't reallywrap my head around the fact
that I have lost a man.
And I can be very honest and saythat that sense of denial led me
(07:49):
to start to shut down.
Because you don't want to getclose to someone this much and
then you lose them.
It's like you're losing a partof yourself.
It's like you finally put inwork and you've lost it.
So I didn't want to let go.
But years later, years laterafter that, I also remember
(08:16):
grieving relationship that Ithought was forever.
And some of them say you werekids at the time, but hey, that
was like the highlight of myday.
If you can relate thoselistening to me, you know,
you're dating that one girl andyou're just like, or you're
(08:39):
dating that one guy and you'relike, this is the person I'm
going to spend the rest of mylife with.
You come up with cute nicknamesand You even start social media
together.
You have those couple pages.
Before there were TikTokcouples, there was literally a
couple pages for Facebook.
(09:00):
Believe it or not.
You say this is the personyou're going to spend the rest
of your life with.
And, I mean, it wasn't just me.
There were other people that Iknow who ended the relationships
and stuff.
And the silence after that wasalmost as heavy as when I lost
(09:26):
my dad.
Because different griefs comewith similar heartaches.
Because it's the effort that youput in that you lost.
It's...
Yes, you've lost the person.
And yes, you want the person.
But I believe that we alsogrieve because we had invested
(09:49):
ourselves.
So it's like, again, and todayI'm full of movie references.
It's like in Harry Potter whereI forgot what they called it.
But he who must not be named,Lord Voldemort.
And I proceed to name him.
Crazy.
Anyways.
(10:12):
Lord Voldemort kept parts of hissoul and so many other things
like the diary, the sword.
Is it a sword?
The snake.
I'm not saying that we are LordVoldemort, just to clarify.
But the investment we make withother people, we put parts of
(10:36):
ourselves in them.
So to lose them, is to lose partof us if it was genuine.
D'Andra said something verypowerful when we spoke.
And she said it was when herhusband asked her, what do you
(10:56):
need?
She realized she needed toscream.
Sometimes that's what thesilence calls for.
It does not call for words.
It does not call for answers.
It does not call forexplanations.
You can say, God, why did I losethis person?
(11:19):
God, why did this happen to me?
God, why did this happen to me?
But sometimes silence does notcall for any of those things.
It doesn't call for logic.
Sometimes it doesn't even callfor understanding of emotions.
It just calls for a release.
(11:39):
In Ghana, in my culture, peopledon't always know what to say.
So they say, and I say this,they say stuff like, and I call
it nonsense, but they say stufflike, be strong.
How am I going to be strong?
I just lost someone I careabout.
I don't want to be strong.
(12:01):
I don't.
But they say stuff like, youknow, and I'll be fair.
It comes from a great place.
It comes from a good place.
It comes from a place of love.
But they just don't know what tosay.
People don't know what to say insituations like this.
So they say stuff like I said,be strong.
They say don't cry, especiallyif you're a man.
(12:23):
And, oh, my God, I feel soterrible for even mothers.
They tell you don't cry.
Your children are here.
They tell you all sorts ofthings, like move on, like it's
easy.
But strength is not pretendingthat you don't feel.
(12:45):
And that's something that I'vehad to learn and relearn and
relearn.
To be frank, it's not easy toremember that.
Strength is...
not the same as not feeling.
Sometimes it takes a very braveand confident person and takes
(13:06):
all the strength in you to feelbecause it's easy to hide from
your demons.
It's hard to face them.
Strength is saying, I loved, Ilost, and I'm still here.
A different version of Veni, isit Veni?
Veni Vidi Vici, I came, I saw, Iconquered.
(13:27):
But this time, you loved, youlost, and you're still here.
Whether you're grieving someonewho died, or you're grieving
someone who left, or someone youleft, or someone who's changed,
or you're grieving yourself,silence is not your enemy.
It's a place where your soul,your spirit talks to you and
(13:56):
says, for me it's a place whereGod tells me that my grace is
sufficient for you and I saythat and I keep talking about
God because when I lost my dad Iwouldn't say I lost God I never
did God lost me because I hatedhim so much and I walked away
(14:23):
but he never walked away from meAnd I just want you all to keep
that in mind because sometimeswhen grief happens, it's easy to
walk away.
It's easy to say, it's easy toshut down.
But what we fail to realize isthat what we didn't lose hasn't
(14:47):
walked away from us yet.
But we are the ones who arewalking away.
We need to be conscious of that.
Like, in Deandra's case, whenshe lost her mom, she could
have, you know, shut down fromher husband, not spoken to the
(15:07):
man and whatnot.
But he didn't say the exactwords God said, but what he said
showed that he was there, youknow?
And...
It's the same way in your life.
There is someone there.
There is something there.
You are still here.
(15:28):
Don't walk away from yourself.
Do you know why the quietmoments cuts deep?
It's because love is louder thanabsence.
If you never loved someone, youwould never grieve.
(15:50):
And So grief, whether it's theend of life, a friendship, a
season, it's not weakness.
It's evidence that you did lovethis thing.
You did love this person.
You did love yourself.
(16:10):
Someone said this one time, thatthe silence of a man is the
speech of God.
And I found this.
That the quiet is notpunishment.
It's an invitation to rediscoveryourself.
(16:31):
Rediscover who you are.
Rediscover your purpose.
Rediscover that whoever you'velost or whatever you've lost
still lives on through you.
When you sit in the silence, youremember the laughter.
You remember the lessons.
You remember the moments.
And you realize that they'venever left you, neither have
(16:54):
they forsaken you.
They're still with you in thememories, in the laughter, in
the things that remind you ofthem that makes you break down
and cry.
Those are the same things thatremind you that they are still
with you.
Those are the things thatpresent themselves to you as
your red bird.
The friend may leave.
(17:15):
The relationship may end.
The person may pass away, butthe love never walks away.
You never walk away.
So how do we survive thesilence?
(17:36):
Don't run away from it.
Trust me.
I am giving this advice, but Iknow and I don't want to sound
hypocritical because sometimes Ialso run away from it.
To be frank, I run away from itsometimes.
But don't run from it.
I'm advising you and myself atthe same time.
(17:57):
Don't numb it with distractions,with distractions like, you
know, going to go get alcohol todrink just to numb the pain or
flirting with the next girl nextto you or, you know, engaging or
flirting with, you know, thenext guy or engaging in
frivolous activities just so youdon't have to deal with it.
(18:22):
Sit with it.
Second thing, talk through it.
Deandra mentioned something.
She said she was in her roomwhen she felt like her mom was
nowhere closer to her.
She spoke to her.
Talk to the person that you'velost, even if they cannot
respond, like I did with myuncle, where I sent him a text
(18:45):
message telling him of myachievements, like I did with my
dad.
I remember his birthday.
I went to his graveside.
And I actually had a friendteach me how to play the
keyboard, the piano, my roommateat the time.
(19:07):
He taught me.
I learned the keyboard.
I took his keyboard, went to thecemetery, played a song, Little
Do You Know, to my dad by hisgraveside.
Will he speak back?
(19:27):
Will he respond?
No.
But I still talked myselfthrough it.
I still spoke to him.
And I spoke to God.
But most of all, talk toyourself if you have to.
Look in the mirror.
Record a voice note.
Record a podcast.
And just speak to yourself.
(19:53):
And last but not least, honorit.
Light a candle.
Write a journal.
Plant a tree.
Revisit a memory.
For me, it's in my art.
I remember I started doingspoken word poetry.
I write poetry because it allowsme to revisit that memory.
(20:15):
Let the silence carry weight andnot shame.
And if the grief you carry isfrom a friendship or a
relationship ending, allowyourself to say goodbye, even if
you never got the closure youneeded.
(20:36):
That goodbye is not weakness.
I have realized and I'mrealizing that it's strength
because silence is not empty.
Silence is literally full ofechoes.
And if you listen, if you listenclose enough, that echo will
(21:00):
remind you that love, true love,pure love, it never dies.
It just changes form.
So to anyone listening to me,Whether you're grieving a loved
one, whether you're grieving alost love, a broken friendship,
(21:23):
or even the loss of who you usedto be, I want you to hear me
clearly.
You are not crazy.
You are not weak.
You are not insecure.
You do not have low self-esteem.
(21:45):
And you are not alone.
Grief is not the end of yourstory.
It's a chapter.
And in that chapter, you arestill writing it.
God is still writing it.
The quiet moments are heavy.
But they are also yours.
(22:07):
Because it is there that loveproves itself eternal.
Love proves itself eternalbecause it never died and it
will never die because that'show you were feeling and that
came from a place of love.
(22:28):
So if tonight the silence feelsunbearable in your room, I want
you to remember this.
Silence is not the absence oflove.
Silence It's a reminder thatlove is everlasting.
(22:49):
This is To Be Frank.
And today, To Be Frank, I'mstill healing.
And so are you.
Until next time, keep living,keep loving, keep believing.
I love you.
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