March 31, 2024 • 61 mins
Get ready for a wild ride with PAHMOANAH BULITZ as she tackles the everyday absurdities of work, friendship, and modern life. From attempting to take out the damn trash without any damn interruptions to getting to know her bestie, Baroque Medusa, like, for real, this episode is a rollercoaster of sarcasm and common sense. And hold onto your seats for the hysterical saga of PAHMOANAH BULITZ trying to explain the ancient art of writing a damn check to the clueless cash register millennial clerk at the grocery store. Don't miss out on this hilarious and slightly profane journey through life's most bizarre moments!
7-11's debuts Hot Dog flavored seltzer water: https://corp.7-eleven.com/corp-press-releases/7-eleven-inc-announces-the-arrival-of-new-big-bite-hot-dog-sparkling-water
Volume 3 - Foot Pose Maven: A Foot Model's Diary written by Baroque Medusa, is now available on Amazon Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. Buy it. Read it. Review it.
Baroque Medusa home:
https://baroquemedusa.com/
https://www.instagram.com/baroquemedusa/
https://twitter.com/baroquemedusa
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Good day. Good afternoon. Clink, clink, bitches. I am Pomona Butts. And, well, now I am. Baruch Matusa. This is Top Shelf Hi Jinks. Welcome, bitches.
(00:19):
Good evening, Bestie. Good evening, Bestie. Happy Saturday. Shit. I'm so lost on the days. I am so lost. And I have to, I have to admit, I totally forgot we were doing Saturday night for the podcast until you texted me.
(00:40):
I'm like, oh, I guess I better go home. Can you, the first time Pomona Butts actually can be counted on, right? Like, yes. Thank you, Pomona Butts.
I was just like, oh, God damn it.
I'm so tired. I had to work today. It was such a shit show. A shit show. I'm just going to briefly tell you because we haven't talked all week.
(01:07):
Right. So what happened?
Yes, to you and all the listeners. This is, this is crazy. So my store is closed completely for Eastern. I think I mentioned that in a previous podcast. Okay. So, um, why does everybody and their fucking mother want to call off?
They're sick today. Everybody. Everybody, everybody, everybody. So this day was an actual weekend, I guess.
(01:33):
Yeah. And I was like, I was, I was thinking to myself like, you fucking fucks. I wanted to call off. I wanted a fucking weekend too. But here we are. I'm a daltine.
Yeah, I'm a daltine. I'm right. I have bills to pay. And of course, it's most of the little, the younger Jen, but right. And if I was in their shoes, fuck yeah, I'd call off. Fuck yeah.
(02:00):
But it just made shit so bad and so worse. And busy. Oh yeah, because we were having this huge Easter sale. Oh, brother. I know. I know. And being Oregon and we had son. And it was like 70 degrees.
Wow. Yeah. Everybody. Shit. It was just a madhouse, but I don't work the floor. So I just felt bad for whoever the fuck showed up for work, which is the whole three people. Fuck. Well, I'm glad you didn't work the floor.
(02:32):
That's a good thing. Oh, but I did almost kind of. Oh, so they asked my managers asked me if I could throw away some trash that they some some employees took out.
And it was like trash like they were cleaning up the break room or whatever trash bags. Take it to the back into receiving where the trash goes.
(02:55):
Okay, the back that's in the back of the store. I said, sure, I'll do it. Tell me why the fuck I pick up those three bags of trash. And obviously these bags are clear bags.
So you know, it's fucking trash. I'm walking through the store and I get stopped by every fucking customer.
(03:16):
Excuse me. Excuse me. This says online that it's for sale is the toilet paper really for sale. I'm like, who the fuck stops your toilet paper at Lowe's on a like the day before Easter.
I don't know, but I don't know, bitch, because I just work here.
I'm taking out the trash.
(03:37):
I did do the best customer service possible, but I was no good. So I just told everybody that I was new.
And
I said, Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help, but I knew this is actually my third day go hence these trash bags that I'm fucking carrying and I don't know why you would stop to ask me, but anything I wouldn't.
(04:06):
I would have the courtesy and the decency to not ask a fucking employee who looks like they need help carrying the trash bags the fucking wherever they're going for any help. But there's old man I'm going to say this, God bless his soul.
He looked like he was probably in his 70s and he stopped me and he was very polite. And I set the fucking trash bags down because I was just over it. He tells me oh yeah I just I'm looking for a generator and this and this and that he's talking to me.
(04:40):
And all of a sudden he's trying to show me pictures on his phone like this is what the generator I have at home. Like I fucking know but I'm trying to act like.
I'm just listening to the old guy, his fucking nose. It just starts pouring like.
And it goes down. Yes, coming out of his nose. Yes, girl, it just started like, it just, yeah, just started. It wasn't pouring like rain but you know, just like.
(05:10):
Clean it up. Co-cor. Yeah, and you know what he does. He gets his sleeve. It goes on God, but it goes on his phone he's trying to show me you know how old okay just imagine everybody just imagine a 75 year old person with a fucking iPhone trying to show you pictures of a fucking
generator they have in the back of their house. Oh, was there any dick pics in those. I don't even he was just taking so long and clicking the wrong shit. You're like I just want to take the dress.
(05:42):
Yeah, I can't fucking do this. I can't do this. I can't fucking do this. Oh my God. I can't do this. And so let's just fast forward because yeah, I finally make it to the mother fucking.
I think I'm crying. I don't know where the fucking trash can is. So I asked the people in receiving the employees.
(06:05):
I said, hey, where does the trash go because I don't this is not my job. I don't do. I'm management and I don't take out trash.
Right. So they tell me just put it in that trash can right there and we'll dump it in the compact or whatever.
Sounds good. I go to the fucking trash can why is it so fucking full and the three bags that I have just won't even stay.
(06:33):
I should have just called out today.
I was pissed. So I so what do I do I try to push the fucking trash bags down just a little bit so that they would just stay.
Okay, and I fucking cut the fuck out of my finger.
Oh shit. Yeah. You know what I did reason I can go home for real. Yeah.
(06:54):
And I said what the fuck like what what the fuck did I cut it on it was one of the takeout when you have like Chinese food the little the little cartons and you know how they have a little tiny handle it's usually the metal wire.
Yeah, it was one of those. Yeah. Yeah, I know.
(07:15):
My fucking luck of course my fucking luck of course of course. So my fucking finger is bleeding.
And sometimes the littlest cuts just kind of hurt.
So it's bleeding and I said God bless it.
So I grab my it's my middle here on my right hand and I grab it.
(07:37):
Yeah, and I'm trying to get to the well the first aid kit that's all the way by my fucking office and the fucking entrance of the store and I'm in the back and tell me why does every mother fucking customers.
I'm trying to get a bandaid.
You should have your middle finger up your like it's bleeding I have to go.
No, they, you know what two customers saw. They're like, Oh my gosh, you're bleeding.
(08:02):
Yeah, there's way too many customers in your fucking store.
It was, it was crazy. I was ready just like seriously punch everybody.
And it just, I don't know if you have anything to say because it just brought me to something that I thought about when we would talk on our podcast but if you have something to say, I'm just going to stop my.
No, I tell you're done.
(08:24):
Well, it's going to be.
I just started thinking, you know what, Medusa has been my bestie for what?
Almost 18, 19 years.
That was long.
As before, G was when I think it was.
Oh yeah, because you know, was, oh yeah, G was just like a maybe a not she was a baby baby.
(08:48):
She was a year.
Yeah, holy fuck. I can't believe we've been friends that long.
I know.
Right. And I was, and you know what your, your bros.
They, he didn't even have the youngest yet.
Wow. Why, why is this just barely clicking in my head right now that is so fucking crazy.
(09:09):
I know. And isn't it funny that I was just so pissed off with everything happening at work and I was like, Oh man, I just started thinking how old am I really I'm going to be there one day.
And then I just, all these things were just fucking happening.
And I was trying to just keep it together because I.
Ladies and gentlemen, yes, I struggle with a temper, but I've been very, very good.
(09:33):
Yes, you've been very angelic lately. It's astonishing.
I know I'm fucking.
On the back bitch girl. And so when I think about like, I just want to find somebody in the throat.
I just think it now I actually don't do it.
Like, so you don't follow through.
Nope, I just think it in my head and that's it. So anyways, getting back to the point, I'm sorry everybody.
(09:58):
I just started thinking bestie that how long has it been.
It's been a long time. It's almost a fucking decade for what for our, our, I mean, maybe we weren't besties at first, but we were friends and.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just, I can't believe. Yeah, that's so weird that you say that and I'm just like, yeah, that makes sense.
(10:19):
But really, I never thought about it.
Yeah, because I thought about it and I was thinking, well, I thought about that I was thinking, of course.
We were, yeah, you were in your 30s.
Yeah, I guess so because I'm 50 now.
Yep. I was in my 20s.
God.
(10:40):
I know. So to just wrap it up what I ended up thinking about.
I'm like, I'm never taking the trash out again.
I know I was like, I just thought to myself what I know pretty much everything about you. I think if somebody were to ask me five questions about my bestie, I would be able to answer it or come very close.
(11:07):
Same.
I would think so I started to saying, Hey, you know what, there are some things that if somebody asked me about Medusa.
I would, I would fail because I don't know.
And they're simple, simple questions. So I'm just going to ask you the questions that I would fail.
Okay.
(11:28):
Okay.
So you know, but then you just answer it for me.
Okay.
Okay. Did you ever go to a high school prom?
Yes, I went to one. It wasn't mine. It was, I guess, some of this guy from Dory high. I went to his or he asked me to go with him.
What do you have a picture?
(11:50):
Like that that prom pictures that you know,
No, no, no.
And I would have not kept it because no, now that we're asking about that, are you the type of person to keep like your books and all that shit like
I know I don't have one yearbook.
Yeah, I was going to say I had a I had the yearbook, I guess, from junior high or whatever, but I never kept them. I mean, I kept them, like maybe until college and then I threw them out like who the fuck wants this.
(12:23):
I made homecoming queen.
Right.
In my head.
Yeah, I never made it most likely to succeed.
I was most likely to get knocked up your senior year. That's me winner winner chicken dinner.
Most likely. I was likely to need bail money.
That's why you're my bestie.
I got knocked up and you needed bail.
(12:48):
Okay, so you did go to a prom.
What about you?
Yeah, I thought I mentioned it on the right. Yes, with the lobster and yeah. Oh my God, how could I forget that?
Okay, okay, okay, well, you know, fair enough.
All right.
So, one thing that I, okay, here's another question. It's just another one. I legit can't, I can't answer this. Have you ever really slapped somebody in the face.
(13:19):
Like, slap, like, like slap.
Um,
I probably slapped my daughter.
I was like, kids count, kids count.
It was discipline. It wasn't just because, but I would say my daughter.
Oh, so you have slapped.
I want to say, yeah, I hit somebody. So it had to have been her.
(13:43):
Okay. I mean, yeah, we know it's not like beat mode, but discipline.
Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
But you never slapped like somebody in defense or.
You know how those old school movies were the ladies like, how dare you slap, you know, no, now that we're speaking of that, I met with two of my long beach buddies, I guess, or whatever that I used to work with the city of Long Beach today.
(14:09):
I told them they're like, well, one of them said like, you bark a lot. I'm like, yeah, I bark loud so I don't have to fucking bite.
I know there's people that fucking bite, but I don't, I think I've only had to bite like once and not actual bite, but like do the legal go the legal route with somebody.
Yeah.
But other than that, I'm like, don't fuck with me because then that you're wasting, now you're wasting my time and now I got to get the law law enforcement involved, that type of thing.
(14:34):
So, um, yeah, I bark loud. Like when you said the bark, I know people don't like to bark loud. They would rather bite. I just bark loud so you can leave me the fuck alone.
But you know, you're really, you're, you're bark is very vicious.
So that's a blood. I think a man. Yeah, I guess, whatever. That's stupid.
(14:55):
What about you? Well, I should say probably yes for you.
Oh fuck yeah.
You're like more times than I can count. Yeah, and not even, but you know, I'm not a, not for a self defense mechanism. Um, but I have slapped the shit out of the bitch.
You know, like an adult. Right. But, I know I could hire you as my bodyguard if I needed one. Oh for sure. You know that.
(15:20):
You know that. I'm like, I know she's got my back.
I have a little fanny pack full of ninja stars. There you go.
Like my oldest nephew, like he'll say these hands my hands are rated E for everyone.
I would be you smack and everybody.
(15:43):
My
I used to say when I was younger.
Don't make me release these or these are my two dogs and they don't got names and I would have fists.
And I guess if I let them go, there ain't no calling them back.
Fly away.
Okay, all right. So next question that I was thinking and these are most random questions, but it's just I don't know the answer of my best team.
(16:13):
So do you
Okay, this is a three part question, but do you go to the dentist every six months or are you one of those people that my teeth don't hurt. I don't need to go.
I go between six to 10 months, I guess.
Just for like the cleaning the
Random.
Yeah, the cleaning or whatever.
Okay, all right. So I didn't know that for sure.
(16:33):
And
Your dental hide used to be a dental hygienist. So I was
Yes, for you, you would go every six months, eight months to
Oh, fuck. Yeah, my teeth are
Yeah, they're on like like mine. That's I mean, you only get one set of teeth. So you
Right.
And and we got that. I under like teeth like our teeth are good like our gums or I don't know our enamel. It's pretty tough. I guess.
(16:58):
I don't know. Some people just I think it's in their DNA. They just have some like weak ass enamel or I don't know.
Oh, they're gums or whatever.
Yeah.
I think it's some of its genetic well being in the dental field at once upon a time. Yeah, it can be.
So, okay, but do you currently white in your teeth with the whitening strips or any kits or
(17:23):
No, I used to do that and I stopped and then there was a period of time where I was like
I'm swish my teeth out or I guess wish peroxide in my mouth because that's the same thing, right?
It's cheaper and everybody's like, well, what if you swallow it? I'm like, do you fucking swallow your toothpaste?
No, then why would you swallow fucking hydrogen peroxide? Like, I don't fucking get you guys.
(17:45):
It's gonna look like a mad dog full of bubbles.
Because their mouth is all fucking dirty.
My mouth is clean.
My mouth is clean. I know. Clean. Hell yeah.
Okay. All right. So I just didn't know if you're one of those people who actually go and whiten their teeth
(18:05):
because I was like, you know what? She does have pretty white teeth, but
okay. All right. Another the other question was
what the fuck was your what was your very, very first job, very first job and how old were you?
I was 17 and I worked at Mervins. Remember that department store and then I guess Coles Bottom out.
(18:28):
Yeah. I used to love Mervins. Yeah. Yeah. I worked there when I was pregnant.
I'm sorry. My throat is messed up. It's okay. I have my allergies too. I sound like
but Mervins? Mervins. Yeah. Wow. Now at least the ones down here, I don't know if that Coles
Bottom out, but I just know that the Mervins in my area turned into Coles. So I don't know if that was
(18:54):
just a merger, a buyout or what? Yeah. I know. I think it was a buyout because Mervins was going to
bankrupt. Okay. Shit. Yeah. I remember. She's like that story. They hired me a seasonal Christmas.
Yeah. That's what they did with me too. So question then your first job was the Honeyham shop?
(19:15):
Nope. Mrs. Fields? Nope. Selling weed?
No. No. I'm just kidding. No. No. No. No. My very, very, very first job was Burger King.
Oh, nice. Okay. And I was 15 with the permit, a workers permit. Oh, I remember those. Remember
(19:39):
those? I wonder if they still do that. What the hell? You could only work like four hours a day, but
Yeah. And obviously after school, you couldn't work in school hours or whatever, but I totally
forgot about that. Yeah. That was, yeah, had a fucking workers permit. I don't think they even
do that anymore. Yeah. Huh. You just have to be 16 and that's it, right? Yeah, right. We don't care.
(20:06):
Shit. They were doing child labor, right? No, but yeah, my very, very first job was Burger King
and with the little workers permit and it was a bad experience. And I just, yeah, I waited until
I turned 16. Then you're like done. Yeah. And then I got another job and stuff. But my very, very,
(20:27):
very first job, yeah, was Burger King. And so the dude threw water in my face because I accidentally
hit the water button on the cash register and it charged him 10 cents, 10 fucking cents. And he threw
water on you because you charged him 10 extra cents. Yeah. Because he, it was, wow. Yep. I know.
(20:48):
And I said $3.75 is not worth it. An hour. No, actually, yeah, it was three fucking. Dude,
I cannot believe like, yeah, growing up the fucking minimum wage was fucking like trash. Well,
I guess obviously the cost of living was a lot cheaper than it is today. But isn't that crazy?
Like when I was, I just remember, would you say was $3.75? Yeah, that was my very first. Yeah.
(21:15):
Oh my God, that's so fucking crazy. A fucking hour. Right? Really? I'm going to work five hours.
Okay. 15 less than 20 bucks. I was after taxes. Right. I was talking to my co-workers today and
(21:36):
then I guess one of them was talking about cigarettes and I'm like, I don't even know how
much a pack of cigarettes costs because I don't smoke. And he's like, yeah, they're about 18 bucks
a pack now. I'm like, shut up. What the fucking hell? I remember when they were two bucks,
I don't know. I don't buy them. I guess the next time I hit the liquor store or 7-eleven,
I'm going to have to look because that is fucking ridiculous. Holy shit. I do know that
(22:01):
there was little signs in the 7-elevens and stuff saying, tobacco's going up or whatever.
Yeah. He said there was a lot or a lot of tax that passed or whatever that they added more taxes to it.
And I'm like, well, okay. Wow. Damn. 18 bucks.
(22:22):
Speaking of, I guess, whatever, smoking, I broke my sobriety today. I had one fucking
Guinness and I'm going to go back to sobriety tomorrow. So I'm proud of myself. I only had one.
And plus you said it was 70 degrees up there. Girl, today it was 51 degrees and rain non-fucking
stop. It should be 74 by Tuesday. Thank God. What? Exactly. 51 degrees and fucking just
(22:48):
continuous rain. The rain stopped maybe about two hours ago and I hope it stays that way.
I don't know. I haven't looked at the forecast. What is that? Like earthquake weather. Right?
Shit. Oh shit. So okay. All right. Well, I only have one last question that I was like,
(23:08):
I think I don't know, which is going to be great because I honestly feel like somebody can say,
ask me pretty much anything. I think I'll be able to know now. Okay. Wait, do you know how to do one
of these three things? Okay. A backflip, a cartwheel, or the splits. Do you know how to do one of those?
(23:34):
In my head. Oh yeah. Can you? Or physically? No. No. Were you ever able, like as a kid,
to just be the one? Maybe a cartwheel, like an elementary, but I can't remember off the top
of my head. So I don't want to say yes, but maybe. But the other ones, most definitely not the splits.
(23:55):
And then you said the backflip. I fucking wish I could do that. That would have been cool.
I know. I know I cannot. I can't even, I can't even do a fucking cartwheel. I could. Yeah. I don't,
I never even, the splits. I mean, I'm not like cool, like one of those dancers and just fucking
(24:15):
just drop it and with like drop it. Yeah. Drop it like a top. Yeah. Like boogie night. What is it?
John Travolta. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or John Claude Van Damme. Just. Yeah. No, fuck no. I could do a
backflip off a diving board and I could do a backflip on a trampoline, but I can't just
(24:41):
do a backflip. Oh, that would be, yeah. I never thought to do a backflip off a diving board because
that would be the safest way to practice until you got it right because you're fucking landing in water.
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, you might, you could break your neck.
You smack it on the diving board on the way down, I guess. I don't know.
Yeah. If you don't project yourself for enough shit. Okay. Smart. All right. I just, well, thank you.
(25:08):
Now I know. Well, I'm going to have to come up with some questions for next week, Van.
Oh, yeah. I still can't believe we've been friends for fucking eight years.
Girl, I'm telling you, Medusa, I was like, there's no fucking way. We are totally fucking old. That's
just so fucking crazy to me. I thought you were going to say like 10 years when you said 20.
I'm like, no, she's fucking wrong, but then June, it's like fucking 18. I'm like, yeah. Oh yeah.
(25:32):
Wow. Yeah. I know. Fuck and fuck. We're going to, we're getting there. Right.
So remember last week when we were talking about skin tags and on the next and everything and
how animals get them? Yeah. Don't. Then we has one. No. I'm like, I knew she had one when I looked.
(25:58):
It's like right where her collar hits all the time. So her collar like moves up and down and
there's one there. I just want to fucking cut it off, but she would cry like a baby.
But yeah, she has a big one and I was just like, oh, that's right. I forgot about that skin tag.
No. I remember you very, very, very first Scott. She's going to be 13 on Monday.
(26:24):
Okay. So there you go. And you're going to tell me we have facts. It's all about perspective.
I'm in denial. Clearly girl. I live my fucking life in the day. That's why I love you.
(26:46):
All right. Well, that's like pretty much that those are just all I had to say. And I just
so glad that this fucking day is over. Pretty much. You know what? I did have something I
wanted because I told you I didn't have anything for today's podcast, but I have something that
I guess you might want to know about. I don't know if you do or not, but 711 they have.
(27:15):
They have flavored waters coming out for their brand. Okay. So the first one is
lemon lime and apple. Or I'm sorry. Lemon. One of them is lemon lime. If I'm reading this correctly.
The second one is green apple. The third one is sweet orange. Okay. Are you ready for the fourth
one? Are you sitting down? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm not sitting down. Hold on. Okay.
(27:37):
Go. Hot dog flavored water in a can is the fourth fucking flavor. And the can is it says big gulp
on it with the hot dog on it for the hot dog flavored water. And I'm like, so this is dick
water. Like it's going to taste like you're all is this a limp biscuit album? Right. Right.
(28:00):
What the don't wait. Okay. And you know what's so funny is because the comments you said a limp
biscuit. The first the first comment is hilarious. It says is link. Sorry is link. I can't is limp
I can't is limp biscuit involved. And this and the person who wrote that comment, the Instagram
(28:22):
handle is cock a fellow records. That's his name. I'm like, what the fuck hot dog flavored water.
Now you know all the I would assume the pot heads are going to be the ones that are buying the fucking
hot dog flavored water. There's no way yet. Have you ever I have. Have you ever drank hot dog
(28:45):
water like if you I don't even boil my fucking hot dog so exactly like who boils hot dogs. I'm
assuming that's when I think of hot dog flavored water. That's what I think of is like when you
boil the hot dogs and water that's what it's going to be. Like tea. You boil the tea bags.
You get tea like you boil the hot dog powdered cock.
(29:08):
That is so gross. That is so gross. I've never know it. No words but you know that I bet you
that's going to be limited or I guess a limited supplier whatever it's going to fucking sell out
and it's going to be the next fucking rage because people are dumb. So did you wait? Yeah. Fuck yeah
they're dumb. Man. I have a fucking story that I can tell you right now where I'm just like wow.
(29:32):
But but did you see that water in Seven Lemon or did you read it online? No it's I guess it's on
Instagram but they're going to be debuting it or I guess it's going to be on shelves soon.
Wow hot dog. Right. I'm just like I'm at a loss. I don't even know what to say.
(29:54):
It can't. Yeah. There's no words. So is it like getting released in like Alabama or something or
right? Probably. Yeah I mean they're going to be like a little trial period. I don't even I don't
even know anybody anybody. I never met anybody that says yeah I boil hot dogs and I drink the water.
(30:17):
I've never even met somebody. I've never ever ever ever ever ever. Period. I'm going to have to GTS
because maybe as a dare somebody probably would show up online or but I will google it.
Look I put Seven Eleven hot dog and it automatically comes up flavored water.
(30:41):
What the hell. Oh it's so disgusting. That's insane. I don't know. Oh my god. Okay I'm actually
going to read this to you then. Okay. Seven Eleven incorporated the world's largest convenience retailer
today announced a collection of seven new selects spark oh it's sparkling water. That's even worse.
(31:05):
That part was left out on the Instagram. The big bite hot dog sparkling water combines the delicious
and mouthwatering experience of Seven Eleven's iconic big bite hot dog into one refreshing
beverage ketchup and mustard included. What. Gone are the days of alternating bites of a hot dog
with sips of beverage. Now those on the go can swap the bun for bubbles.
(31:33):
What. It's what plants crave. It's what it's what plants crave. I guess there's electrolytes in this
shit. Wow. I'm just totally at a loss. Holy moly. Oh my gosh.
(31:56):
Now I'm going to watch Idiocracy. Right. And for the listeners I have this bookmarked. If you go to
the show notes I will put the link in the description so you can read this monstrosity. I don't even
know what the absurdity. How about absurdity. You can read this absurdity for yourself. Oh man.
That's crazy. You know what though. What are you. Okay. So I thought what was gross was when I
(32:27):
tried to order pizza one time and I think it was Domino's or Papa John's. Somebody did that whole
like hamburger pizza where they don't put the marinara sauce. They use the Thousand Island
for the pizza. Yeah. For the sauce. Yeah. And then they put ground beef pickles. Tomato.
(32:51):
Oh that might actually was a good. You know what I was well. Yes. As many drinks as I had it was
fucking delicious. Like you're like I don't care. Yeah. I'm like it was it was two in the morning. It
was fucking delicious. Actually it was but it wasn't hot dog flavored seltzer water. There's a
(33:14):
difference. That would make me throw up even with now that seltzer water that just makes me want to
throw up even. Oh yeah. To drink that. It's all bubbly and just grow. Oh. You know. Shit. I don't
know. Maybe it's to like I don't know. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut people. Same. You know
(33:36):
what they said if you can't say nothing nice don't say nothing at all. That's what my therapist says.
I was kidding. Oh wow. Okay. You know what I'm going to boycott 7-eleven just for being that like
to carry something so atrocious on their shelves or even make it. You know. Who came up with that.
(34:01):
It had to have been like somebody that was high one night and be like I think I'm going to drink boiled
hot dog water and then I'm going to make it seltzer water and we're going to sell it.
Ben and Jerry's kids probably made that up because sometimes Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors. I'm
like what is going on here. There's potato chips. Right. Pretzels. Peanut butter cups.
(34:28):
Pop. And it's all frozen together with cream. Yeah. And almonds.
Who does that. I don't know. Somebody wants nuts in their mouth I guess. I guess. You do it.
I saw that they had a Bob Marley version called One Love. For the ice cream. Yeah. The Ben and
(34:49):
Jerry's did. So did you get it. Oh fuck yeah. I got it because it's Bob Marley. So I was like
I just I don't even give a fuck. So what was in it. What was in the ice cream. You know what.
It was actually fucking amazing. It was banana ice cream. Okay. And it had a little bit of dark
chocolate chunks. Oh yeah. That sounds really good. Yeah. It was it was fucking amazing. And
(35:14):
they think they just put like a little bit of coconut like toasted coconut in it. It was okay.
It was so freaking good. I don't know. But when I went back for some more it was a
fucking limited edition. So that was all gone. Yeah. And I was like I've never even had fucking
(35:34):
banana ice cream. You know you can freeze bananas and just throw them in like the blender or whatever
and make smooth or not. Well you can make smoothies like that. But that's why that's my version of
ice cream. I put like frozen bananas in the like in the NutriBullet or whatever your blender.
And then I do like a little bit of yogurt and then my protein mix and it's like a fucking milkshake.
(35:56):
It's delicious. I used to for the kids when they were younger. I just put a popsicle stick
or the banana in the freezer and then dipped it in like the chocolate or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
Those right time. I do put bananas in my smoothies and stuff too. Yeah. But I've never had banana
(36:17):
ice cream. Yeah. It's just I don't know. I just and then everybody thinks I'm weird because I don't
like to eat my fruit room temperature. I like to eat my my fruit is always eaten frozen pomegranate
and I just eat it like I'm like I'm so good at eating my fruit. I mean you can eat it like you
can. I know it's not that great. I know it's not that great. I know it sounds weird. But like so I
(36:40):
bought a five pound bag of those Mandarin peels that are seedless I guess. Yeah. So I peeled them all
and then I put them in individual bags and then I throw them in my either in my smoothie or like if
Pat on the back. It's natural sugar, I guess. Like if I'm out walking or doing cardio and it's hot then I
Pack that with me. I guess that makes sense. I used to do that with grapes
(37:02):
I still do fucking frozen grapes are good
But I overdosed on that like ten years ago because I would eat those non-stop
That is so fucking good and they're so easy to just to clean and then throw into a baggie and freeze them. Yep
So good and I used to do that to do like two birds one stone if I was taking a lunch to work
Uh-huh, and I didn't have a little ice pack
(37:27):
Yeah, there you go. Yeah, and I would freeze my strawberry
I would freeze my raspberries and my blueberry
You know what fuck I freeze my fruit too
It's just tastes better that way and you know what Tina taught me
Because she's an alcohol not an alcoholic, but she loves her alcohol the way we do or what we once did
(37:49):
She's like em all you need to do like when you freeze your blueberries just throw it in the Tupperware or put
Let me say this right put your blueberries in a Tupperware
I'm like, okay, and then she's like throw some vodka in there and let it just fucking freeze
But you know the vodka doesn't really freeze, but like it's like a blueberry vodka
The blueberries are infused with vodka and it's just yummy to eat them like like oh
(38:15):
Yummy, yeah, just like oh, she knows all the drinks
Yeah, I know Tina. I miss Tina. Damn. You know what it's been 20 years
The listens are probably like you bitches are dumb, you know what yeah, I guess we are
(38:37):
And you call yourselves besties
We're besties for a reason we don't know how to count
Yeah, I know times an illusion
Too much fun just trying to take the crash out
Fuck
Oh my gosh, you know what honestly now shit. I'm thinking yeah last time I saw Tina was
(39:02):
Probably at my brother's house one week karaoke. Yeah. I was what was it 4th of July? Oh, yeah at your brother's house
I think you know was still a toddler or a baby baby
And I didn't even bring her
(39:23):
Yeah, she wasn't there that time I mean yes, of course I would bring her when it was like yeah or whatever, but
Yeah, I didn't bring her that day. I was at your oh, you know what I think the last time I saw Tina was on your brother's birthday
At his house
Okay. Yeah in the garage probably that's yeah, and I think that's when we carry okay, right?
Or was yeah here the kid I
(39:48):
Don't even remember what song it was by the cure, but I know we carry it. Yeah
I'm in love song. Yeah, or the the weekday song or whatever I call it the weekday song
I know that's not what it's called, but all the days of the week song. Yeah
Yeah, we fucking rocked
I miss karaoke nobody likes to karaoke. I like to karaoke. I don't give a fuck
(40:08):
you know we should like
We should like download a karaoke app that you and I can do you know pomeon of us
I'm gonna say this and you're gonna be like no, but I know you don't want to but we should really like do video for
Podcasts like the way Shannon Sharp and Ocho Senko does it on YouTube. I would love to do that with you
Hang out, you know what I would do it with you. I'm just gonna be in a ski mask
(40:30):
You know what we could do that if you down and then I'll have to figure out how to
I think I gotta find out how or what pod or what?
Platform I guess or how they get the recording I guess since they're
Everybody's always not in the same place. So I gotta I'll do some research
If you if you're if you're down for it, then I'll start researching it if not, I'm not gonna bother
(40:53):
I mean, I don't want to I'm pressure you and then I won't I won't look into it is what I'm saying
No, that's not up to you. Just when you whenever if you're up to it, let me know if not, that's fine too
Yes, I will but I'm just being I'm all we could be like death punk
You know what yeah, we could but
How would our mics because we still have our mics too? Yeah, I would I'll have to look into that if you're if you're
(41:16):
Want to do it that way and then if you want to wear a mask or whatever that would like add some mystery and mystique to it
Yeah, I think people are gonna be like
Mom, are you fucking serious? What you trying to hide?
My beautiful face, I don't want
Yeah, I know I don't want a fake
Profile made on that
(41:38):
I don't want to be I don't want my beautiful face to turn into a catfish account
You're hilarious. I love it. No, right. Oh my gosh. Can you imagine all the catfish accounts that would happen?
That's good, right? I mean you already had your identity stolen once it would just happen like a multitude over
(41:58):
At least 20 times
Yeah, I just be like, are you sure you want to still like I'm the kid that
The nobody wants to kidnap
They kidnapped me there. They would have to be drunk from the goonies. Yeah
Fuck you or I yeah, you're just there to say that we stole the wrong kid. Like this the wrong fucking like you got food in a bed
(42:23):
Cool, I'm staying. Yeah, I feel like where we going over there yet. It's
Like, do you know I can get this pen?
Right now my dad taught me that
I can do that the age of four
Right. No. Yeah, nobody. Yeah. Nobody wants to steal my identity. Trust me. I mean, I'm
(42:47):
That would be they would you know, I wish I should encourage somebody to do it so I can just like anyway
You're like
You're gonna have that life
Go ahead
Go ahead
I hope I can
I hope you are you're prepared
(43:10):
I remember one of the guys
I don't remember what his name was or what his handle was but on Twitter. I'm still on Twitter all day long because of Raider Nation
but
Raider Nation Twitter one guy
He was like he posted on there. He's like, what does this mean when it said something like
He got a message on his phone that I guess his Sim got unlocked or whatever even though he had his phone with him
(43:37):
But everybody's like bro somebody hacked your account like somebody's in your phone
But as you like identity theft for the phone does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. So he you know what he fucking says
He's like he ain't gonna get shit from me. My credit sucks and I've been arrested out for my warrants. So
Happy times. Yeah, take my identity is what he said
(44:03):
Like spam emails like so-and-so is requesting money and so I'm like what the fuck like
I think I owe sale money
They're like aren't you scared if somebody hacks your fucking bank account
Oh, they should be scared that they're gonna get the clang
(44:24):
right
Like where's the Nigerian prince that keeps calling everybody talking about he has money to send me
Yeah
Oh speaking of that
(44:45):
I'm gonna ask you there's another thing. Do you have
Checks that you could write you carry checks around actually I do oh my god
They last forever, but when I write my mom checks or whatever but before when I was paying rent
I was just like can we just pay rent on my credit card so I can get points on my card
(45:07):
Yeah, right there like no it doesn't work that way and I'm like I swear my credit's good or like it'll go through
I just want points on my credit card. I'm like there's no point in me fucking writing you a check every fucking month, but
That's the only reason why I have checks is because I was paying rent
Oh
Only paint for the form of payment
(45:27):
Right, yeah
Or I guess once I hope when I move out that I don't have to fucking
What's it called do the check thing I'm like let me sell you or fucking credit cards so I can get my points
That would be great great all day, but yeah, I have like I think maybe you know
How I don't know how many come in a pack or like the books or I think I have like 50 who books left
(45:51):
Yeah, and I'm like I really don't want to have to buy more books after this because who's a fuck right to checks anymore
Well, I carry checks. Oh, you carry them with you. I do. Oh, yeah, and you know what?
I thought I would use that for your mortgage then or yeah, no
They just take my payment this automatic every all my bills most are automatic. Yeah, and they just take just take my money
(46:13):
I'm done. You carry your checks in your in your bag. No in my purse. I have I have a
Book of checks. Yeah. Yeah, um
Yeah, I do it's in a fucking checkbook too one those fucking old
Yeah, well, it's not a old-ass wallets actually a fucking MK wallet, but still it it still has a slot for checks like like ha
(46:36):
Maybe old ladies want to still rock MK. Yeah, I do and you're right and I bought it so
I put my checkbook in there and I thought I was
Legit cool because they had that carbon copy under the check. Oh, yeah
I remember those the duplicate checks
Yeah, and remember when you had the carbon copies, yeah
(46:58):
I really need to balance my checkbook and put the number of the check and what I wrote it for
Mount and yeah, and
Whatever and you're just balancing because we had brains and we had to like we were our own
Yes, yeah, yeah, there was no app for that
Right. There was no Excel back in the day. Yeah, exactly
(47:20):
Exactly. And I yeah, I realized that shit. I fucking carry checks who
Okay, you want to know who will accept a check? I mean other than maybe our parents my my dad would definitely take a check
Yeah, my mom
You know what I wanted to set like Zella between me and my mom
But I was just like that's too much fucking work because shoot it
(47:44):
Just wouldn't she wouldn't be able to grasp the concept exactly
Irritate me that I'd have to explain it 18 fucking times every time
You know my mom thinks she's online when she's reading a fucking Kindle book
On a Kindle. All right, what are you doing? I'm just online. I'm like really you don't even have a cell phone
But what do you what what website are you on? Oh, I'm reading you're reading your fucking Kindle book like just
(48:10):
You're not online. Yeah, I download that shit. I
Don't know precious
Well, I didn't mean to cut you off. I'm sorry. No, you didn't come you off
Okay, so I was gonna tell you though about the whole check thing before we go. Okay. I'm gonna tell you something
(48:31):
This is my gosh. This is how old I am and I carry the checkbook. Why do I carry it? I don't know
I think sometimes I might need to write a check
Who accepts checks? I don't really know because there is a couple times where I wrote checks and they just kind of
Scan it through a thing and they just give it right back to me
(48:52):
They probably yeah, because anytime like I got it like I still do the paper route when it comes to um
Filing my taxes or whatever. I don't do the electronic or whatever
So like I'll take a picture of the check with my banking app and then deposit it that way when they send me my refund
Yeah, that's the same rule. Yeah, you can actually take a picture of the check. You don't have to go to the bank and say
(49:18):
Thank you. I did this check right fucking picture and
Like paper it doesn't even exist like it's there, but oh wait a second. No, I don't do that
I'm sorry. I do
If I do have if somebody writes me a check and that never fucking happens
But if I were to receive a check I can take a picture with that my banking app and then it gets deposited
(49:42):
IRS refund gets automatically deposited into my account
It's been a long day
The same thing I think I got a check and my fucking insurance was just kind of like um, yeah
You you we owe you and I was like, oh you double paid one month. I'm like, yeah, of course because I'm always
(50:03):
I was drunk when I paid it and then I
Again and I just tell myself fuck it. I have the money to pay it again and if I don't one month ahead
Yeah, exactly, then I don't know next month. So yay, that's kind of productive and great
But and they'll send me a check. Oh, yeah, there's a check and my bank will say the same thing
Just take a picture and boom. Well, oh, so
(50:27):
Okay, so but I'm gonna just finish this up. I
Was I switched purses?
Okay, I went from you know, just a black purse. It's gonna be spring now
So I went for a little tan like purse and this is well actually that's a lie you guys. I'm a fucking liar
I'm gonna pretend that that's I'm gonna tell you the story how I wish it went but
(50:49):
Um
But anyways, I switched purses, okay, and I
somehow some way left my
Debit like I have a little wallet
It's a little cute one with my debit card my credit card my triple a car
Just the little cards that all my little cards and it's a cute little thing
(51:10):
I let that fucking thing in my purse and I was purses and I I didn't realize that didn't have to use any money for anything
Whatever I go to the fucking grocery store. Oh
I know and it's one of those runs where it's just not you don't just need bread and milk and eggs
It's you need everything. Yeah. Yeah
(51:31):
and
Yeah, so yeah, I get rung up and everything and
I'm looking in my purse. I'm like motherfucker. Maybe I sometimes I fuck. I don't even know I was just freaking out
I went to my car thought maybe
Sometimes I actually you know leave my debit card somewhere cuz I write whatever anything anything anything
(51:55):
Nope, I don't have shit and I go in my purse. I'm like I have my fucking checkbook though. Oh
Does it so places still take checks? I guess well the guys like a check
Right. Yeah, I was like you take checks and he's all
Uh, yeah, yeah, we'll take checks. I'm like well then fucking perfect because
(52:20):
Perfect, I'll write a fucking check
It's from the same mother fucking account as the card and it's gonna write and I bounce if you guys even know what a bounce check is
but
Insufficient funds for the millenials
I write the check
Okay, don't you remember ever writing a check and the people will ask for your ID and they would
(52:42):
Okay, didn't even ask for my ID because they've never had to deal with a check
Yeah, and then you know what he says I can't accept it. Why and I said why?
And he's like because it just says your name and no address
I was like, but you know my ID you can always like write that way. So your cats don't have your address
(53:02):
Um, I kind of looked at them and I was like motherfuckers because I ordered them
I'm like three like four years ago. I ordered like a new thing of checks, right? I don't you know what actually?
Yeah, I looked at it and it just says my name and there's no fucking weird
But it I ordered those checks through one of those little sites where it's like say this that it was like
(53:26):
like it was it was $10 for a
Like a what is it called a box of checks?
Okay, yeah, and I was like, yeah because my bank is trying to charge me 30. So right
Same shit
Yeah, but no, he didn't want to accept it and I said, you know what I did
I said, are you kidding me because it was so much fucking food and
(53:50):
You're gonna really make somebody take this all back. I said, you know what you need to do
I go you get my ID and I put the little cross and they put
It's just you know, they put the state the thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah little
And I said oh my god, I totally forgot about that. Yeah, and I said because I know what I had to do and I got a check
(54:12):
And and I'm gonna fucking write
I'm gonna write my number on here because yeah just in case I need to call you if this check bounces because guess what?
The check doesn't go into your account the money from the routing number and the count number goes into your account
So please just thank you for educating the millennial because he probably didn't know any of that
Yeah, and you know what he said, let me call my manager and I said
(54:35):
I said, please you ain't getting off that even yeah. Yeah, and everybody's getting like the frustrated like of course because
This whole the fucking lie. Yeah, and I'm and you know, I also get embarrassed
But I I don't leave any situation until
It's handled like there's no way right
Yeah, so did they take it?
(54:55):
Yeah, the manager comes he's like well, why doesn't it have it? I said it doesn't matter. I go and you know what?
Jose you see me here every week
You fucking come on dude. They're gonna do dirty take it. He's like you're right
Yeah, and I was like it has everything legitimate. You guys wait. So when when did this happen? Just this was like this was like four months ago
(55:18):
So that's why when I said I was lying because I was like it's spring and I was changed my purse. No, I changed my purse
Four months. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so it wasn't spring
But I just like to change my purses and I didn't want people to think I'm all bougie and shit
But yes, I I do want my purse to match and shit. Well, I guess carrying your your check or a book a checkbook
(55:40):
And your purse paid off. Yeah, but who would actually what kind of situation?
What if like you you were driving and your car has to go to a shop and you don't have you
You lost your wallet. You lost everything, but you had to check both. Would the mechanic take a check?
would
(56:01):
Yeah, I I would say no. I don't even know about that
Like I don't think any I don't know
Sometimes I get these things that say how are you gonna pay check money order?
I'm like people or credit card
It's like oh you guys accept checks and then I flip it over
(56:23):
What you remember those type of receipts or invoices would say if you're writing a check make it out to xyz
Yes, yeah, and I'm looking like
If you accept checks you would tell me who the fuck to make it out to right
So
I don't know. It's just weird. I don't know who accepts checks. I'm scared now
(56:44):
It's like I'm scared now like am I am I carrying garbage like dead weight?
Is this obsolete? Is this truly obsolete? Should I not carry a check book? I would say just leave it at home
What good is that shit gonna do like I don't know
I might as well just put it like in a shredder bin
(57:06):
And yeah, I keep mine in my nightstand
Yeah, I mean what if I have to change my let's just say my locks at the house emergency
I need a locksmith. Do you accept checks and the locksmith says no
Doesn't matter well. I'm home. I could write you a check because I keep my checkbook at home, but you don't accept them
I'm just like who the fuck would accept that would my gardener would my gardener that like oh, they'll take checks
(57:35):
I'm sure they would
I know no
How do you do him you just paying cash?
Zell oh zell. Okay. Well, but yeah, and you know what the gardeners you got a you know, no
They they ain't taking checks. They don't want no proof of nothing
You know what valid point. Yeah
I'll just take this but I also thought zell if you transferred or maneuvers too much money. They give you like a
(58:02):
Yeah, they report that
Yeah
Well, I mean, I guess that makes sense because you could be a little jugular bird
Zell me 15,000 for this key that I'm shipping over like right
It's crazy. Yeah, but yeah, so I don't know girl. I think checks um
I
(58:23):
Know
I don't know. I just really now that I'm thinking about I think I only have like this one book that I'm
I have now and like one more left and I really don't want to have to buy anymore
Or I guess order is the proper term. Right. I really don't want to have to order anymore. So hopefully that shit goes away permanently
I think it kind of is
(58:44):
I because honestly don't be
I'm not confident at all that anybody would take my check. Should I not have my
Thank god, you're a regular there. I know I was like shut up
You can't like put like a lean on my house or something. It's fucking 300 dollars worth of groceries. Just shut the fuck up
(59:06):
It's a perfectly good
Okay, god, I don't I don't even think they even knew what a fucking check was and they don't teach you how to write checks anymore
Yeah, I know
It's crazy. But why are they gonna fucking tell us about dinosaurs? That's like old news
(59:28):
Is this gonna happen? Fuck your dinosaurs and now your dinosaurs have feathers. Okay
Got it, right? No, it's not a planet and now checks don't exist
I miss the old days right now, right the good old days. I used to churn my butter
(59:52):
And on that note, pomeonable, do you have any parting words, ma'am?
Um, um, just happy
festive
Easter if anybody celebrates that I know it's an important holiday for most
Um, so if you celebrate that happy Easter and for those that are like me
(01:00:13):
Um, yeah, I hope we all get to sleep in until 11 and no family calls us
Right, that's about it
I will say happy Easter to everybody as well and um, if you don't know what a check is or a routing number or the cross that you would write on
Your check with your driver's license and your phone number, etc. Etc. I'm sure you can gts it and
(01:00:38):
There's actually a tutorial and leave us a comment if you write have no idea what we're talking about, please
Please leave us a comment for those that know exactly what we're talking about. Please just reassure us that
We're still in the game of life
We're just a little behind just a little yeah
(01:01:00):
Yeah, all right on that note. We are out. Have a good one. Peace. Peace
Good day. Good afternoon. Clink, clink, bitches. I am Pomona Butts. And, well, now I am. Baruch Matusa. This is Top Shelf Hi Jinks. Welcome, bitches.
(00:19):
Good evening, Bestie. Good evening, Bestie. Happy Saturday. Shit. I'm so lost on the days. I am so lost. And I have to, I have to admit, I totally forgot we were doing Saturday night for the podcast until you texted me.
(00:40):
I'm like, oh, I guess I better go home. Can you, the first time Pomona Butts actually can be counted on, right? Like, yes. Thank you, Pomona Butts.
I was just like, oh, God damn it.
I'm so tired. I had to work today. It was such a shit show. A shit show. I'm just going to briefly tell you because we haven't talked all week.
(01:07):
Right. So what happened?
Yes, to you and all the listeners. This is, this is crazy. So my store is closed completely for Eastern. I think I mentioned that in a previous podcast. Okay. So, um, why does everybody and their fucking mother want to call off?
They're sick today. Everybody. Everybody, everybody, everybody. So this day was an actual weekend, I guess.
(01:33):
Yeah. And I was like, I was, I was thinking to myself like, you fucking fucks. I wanted to call off. I wanted a fucking weekend too. But here we are. I'm a daltine.
Yeah, I'm a daltine. I'm right. I have bills to pay. And of course, it's most of the little, the younger Jen, but right. And if I was in their shoes, fuck yeah, I'd call off. Fuck yeah.
(02:00):
But it just made shit so bad and so worse. And busy. Oh yeah, because we were having this huge Easter sale. Oh, brother. I know. I know. And being Oregon and we had son. And it was like 70 degrees.
Wow. Yeah. Everybody. Shit. It was just a madhouse, but I don't work the floor. So I just felt bad for whoever the fuck showed up for work, which is the whole three people. Fuck. Well, I'm glad you didn't work the floor.
(02:32):
That's a good thing. Oh, but I did almost kind of. Oh, so they asked my managers asked me if I could throw away some trash that they some some employees took out.
And it was like trash like they were cleaning up the break room or whatever trash bags. Take it to the back into receiving where the trash goes.
(02:55):
Okay, the back that's in the back of the store. I said, sure, I'll do it. Tell me why the fuck I pick up those three bags of trash. And obviously these bags are clear bags.
So you know, it's fucking trash. I'm walking through the store and I get stopped by every fucking customer.
(03:16):
Excuse me. Excuse me. This says online that it's for sale is the toilet paper really for sale. I'm like, who the fuck stops your toilet paper at Lowe's on a like the day before Easter.
I don't know, but I don't know, bitch, because I just work here.
I'm taking out the trash.
(03:37):
I did do the best customer service possible, but I was no good. So I just told everybody that I was new.
And
I said, Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help, but I knew this is actually my third day go hence these trash bags that I'm fucking carrying and I don't know why you would stop to ask me, but anything I wouldn't.
(04:06):
I would have the courtesy and the decency to not ask a fucking employee who looks like they need help carrying the trash bags the fucking wherever they're going for any help. But there's old man I'm going to say this, God bless his soul.
He looked like he was probably in his 70s and he stopped me and he was very polite. And I set the fucking trash bags down because I was just over it. He tells me oh yeah I just I'm looking for a generator and this and this and that he's talking to me.
(04:40):
And all of a sudden he's trying to show me pictures on his phone like this is what the generator I have at home. Like I fucking know but I'm trying to act like.
I'm just listening to the old guy, his fucking nose. It just starts pouring like.
And it goes down. Yes, coming out of his nose. Yes, girl, it just started like, it just, yeah, just started. It wasn't pouring like rain but you know, just like.
(05:10):
Clean it up. Co-cor. Yeah, and you know what he does. He gets his sleeve. It goes on God, but it goes on his phone he's trying to show me you know how old okay just imagine everybody just imagine a 75 year old person with a fucking iPhone trying to show you pictures of a fucking
generator they have in the back of their house. Oh, was there any dick pics in those. I don't even he was just taking so long and clicking the wrong shit. You're like I just want to take the dress.
(05:42):
Yeah, I can't fucking do this. I can't do this. I can't fucking do this. Oh my God. I can't do this. And so let's just fast forward because yeah, I finally make it to the mother fucking.
I think I'm crying. I don't know where the fucking trash can is. So I asked the people in receiving the employees.
(06:05):
I said, hey, where does the trash go because I don't this is not my job. I don't do. I'm management and I don't take out trash.
Right. So they tell me just put it in that trash can right there and we'll dump it in the compact or whatever.
Sounds good. I go to the fucking trash can why is it so fucking full and the three bags that I have just won't even stay.
(06:33):
I should have just called out today.
I was pissed. So I so what do I do I try to push the fucking trash bags down just a little bit so that they would just stay.
Okay, and I fucking cut the fuck out of my finger.
Oh shit. Yeah. You know what I did reason I can go home for real. Yeah.
(06:54):
And I said what the fuck like what what the fuck did I cut it on it was one of the takeout when you have like Chinese food the little the little cartons and you know how they have a little tiny handle it's usually the metal wire.
Yeah, it was one of those. Yeah. Yeah, I know.
(07:15):
My fucking luck of course my fucking luck of course of course. So my fucking finger is bleeding.
And sometimes the littlest cuts just kind of hurt.
So it's bleeding and I said God bless it.
So I grab my it's my middle here on my right hand and I grab it.
(07:37):
Yeah, and I'm trying to get to the well the first aid kit that's all the way by my fucking office and the fucking entrance of the store and I'm in the back and tell me why does every mother fucking customers.
I'm trying to get a bandaid.
You should have your middle finger up your like it's bleeding I have to go.
No, they, you know what two customers saw. They're like, Oh my gosh, you're bleeding.
(08:02):
Yeah, there's way too many customers in your fucking store.
It was, it was crazy. I was ready just like seriously punch everybody.
And it just, I don't know if you have anything to say because it just brought me to something that I thought about when we would talk on our podcast but if you have something to say, I'm just going to stop my.
No, I tell you're done.
(08:24):
Well, it's going to be.
I just started thinking, you know what, Medusa has been my bestie for what?
Almost 18, 19 years.
That was long.
As before, G was when I think it was.
Oh yeah, because you know, was, oh yeah, G was just like a maybe a not she was a baby baby.
(08:48):
She was a year.
Yeah, holy fuck. I can't believe we've been friends that long.
I know.
Right. And I was, and you know what your, your bros.
They, he didn't even have the youngest yet.
Wow. Why, why is this just barely clicking in my head right now that is so fucking crazy.
(09:09):
I know. And isn't it funny that I was just so pissed off with everything happening at work and I was like, Oh man, I just started thinking how old am I really I'm going to be there one day.
And then I just, all these things were just fucking happening.
And I was trying to just keep it together because I.
Ladies and gentlemen, yes, I struggle with a temper, but I've been very, very good.
(09:33):
Yes, you've been very angelic lately. It's astonishing.
I know I'm fucking.
On the back bitch girl. And so when I think about like, I just want to find somebody in the throat.
I just think it now I actually don't do it.
Like, so you don't follow through.
Nope, I just think it in my head and that's it. So anyways, getting back to the point, I'm sorry everybody.
(09:58):
I just started thinking bestie that how long has it been.
It's been a long time. It's almost a fucking decade for what for our, our, I mean, maybe we weren't besties at first, but we were friends and.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just, I can't believe. Yeah, that's so weird that you say that and I'm just like, yeah, that makes sense.
(10:19):
But really, I never thought about it.
Yeah, because I thought about it and I was thinking, well, I thought about that I was thinking, of course.
We were, yeah, you were in your 30s.
Yeah, I guess so because I'm 50 now.
Yep. I was in my 20s.
God.
(10:40):
I know. So to just wrap it up what I ended up thinking about.
I'm like, I'm never taking the trash out again.
I know I was like, I just thought to myself what I know pretty much everything about you. I think if somebody were to ask me five questions about my bestie, I would be able to answer it or come very close.
(11:07):
Same.
I would think so I started to saying, Hey, you know what, there are some things that if somebody asked me about Medusa.
I would, I would fail because I don't know.
And they're simple, simple questions. So I'm just going to ask you the questions that I would fail.
Okay.
(11:28):
Okay.
So you know, but then you just answer it for me.
Okay.
Okay. Did you ever go to a high school prom?
Yes, I went to one. It wasn't mine. It was, I guess, some of this guy from Dory high. I went to his or he asked me to go with him.
What do you have a picture?
(11:50):
Like that that prom pictures that you know,
No, no, no.
And I would have not kept it because no, now that we're asking about that, are you the type of person to keep like your books and all that shit like
I know I don't have one yearbook.
Yeah, I was going to say I had a I had the yearbook, I guess, from junior high or whatever, but I never kept them. I mean, I kept them, like maybe until college and then I threw them out like who the fuck wants this.
(12:23):
I made homecoming queen.
Right.
In my head.
Yeah, I never made it most likely to succeed.
I was most likely to get knocked up your senior year. That's me winner winner chicken dinner.
Most likely. I was likely to need bail money.
That's why you're my bestie.
I got knocked up and you needed bail.
(12:48):
Okay, so you did go to a prom.
What about you?
Yeah, I thought I mentioned it on the right. Yes, with the lobster and yeah. Oh my God, how could I forget that?
Okay, okay, okay, well, you know, fair enough.
All right.
So, one thing that I, okay, here's another question. It's just another one. I legit can't, I can't answer this. Have you ever really slapped somebody in the face.
(13:19):
Like, slap, like, like slap.
Um,
I probably slapped my daughter.
I was like, kids count, kids count.
It was discipline. It wasn't just because, but I would say my daughter.
Oh, so you have slapped.
I want to say, yeah, I hit somebody. So it had to have been her.
(13:43):
Okay. I mean, yeah, we know it's not like beat mode, but discipline.
Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
But you never slapped like somebody in defense or.
You know how those old school movies were the ladies like, how dare you slap, you know, no, now that we're speaking of that, I met with two of my long beach buddies, I guess, or whatever that I used to work with the city of Long Beach today.
(14:09):
I told them they're like, well, one of them said like, you bark a lot. I'm like, yeah, I bark loud so I don't have to fucking bite.
I know there's people that fucking bite, but I don't, I think I've only had to bite like once and not actual bite, but like do the legal go the legal route with somebody.
Yeah.
But other than that, I'm like, don't fuck with me because then that you're wasting, now you're wasting my time and now I got to get the law law enforcement involved, that type of thing.
(14:34):
So, um, yeah, I bark loud. Like when you said the bark, I know people don't like to bark loud. They would rather bite. I just bark loud so you can leave me the fuck alone.
But you know, you're really, you're, you're bark is very vicious.
So that's a blood. I think a man. Yeah, I guess, whatever. That's stupid.
(14:55):
What about you? Well, I should say probably yes for you.
Oh fuck yeah.
You're like more times than I can count. Yeah, and not even, but you know, I'm not a, not for a self defense mechanism. Um, but I have slapped the shit out of the bitch.
You know, like an adult. Right. But, I know I could hire you as my bodyguard if I needed one. Oh for sure. You know that.
(15:20):
You know that. I'm like, I know she's got my back.
I have a little fanny pack full of ninja stars. There you go.
Like my oldest nephew, like he'll say these hands my hands are rated E for everyone.
I would be you smack and everybody.
(15:43):
My
I used to say when I was younger.
Don't make me release these or these are my two dogs and they don't got names and I would have fists.
And I guess if I let them go, there ain't no calling them back.
Fly away.
Okay, all right. So next question that I was thinking and these are most random questions, but it's just I don't know the answer of my best team.
(16:13):
So do you
Okay, this is a three part question, but do you go to the dentist every six months or are you one of those people that my teeth don't hurt. I don't need to go.
I go between six to 10 months, I guess.
Just for like the cleaning the
Random.
Yeah, the cleaning or whatever.
Okay, all right. So I didn't know that for sure.
(16:33):
And
Your dental hide used to be a dental hygienist. So I was
Yes, for you, you would go every six months, eight months to
Oh, fuck. Yeah, my teeth are
Yeah, they're on like like mine. That's I mean, you only get one set of teeth. So you
Right.
And and we got that. I under like teeth like our teeth are good like our gums or I don't know our enamel. It's pretty tough. I guess.
(16:58):
I don't know. Some people just I think it's in their DNA. They just have some like weak ass enamel or I don't know.
Oh, they're gums or whatever.
Yeah.
I think it's some of its genetic well being in the dental field at once upon a time. Yeah, it can be.
So, okay, but do you currently white in your teeth with the whitening strips or any kits or
(17:23):
No, I used to do that and I stopped and then there was a period of time where I was like
I'm swish my teeth out or I guess wish peroxide in my mouth because that's the same thing, right?
It's cheaper and everybody's like, well, what if you swallow it? I'm like, do you fucking swallow your toothpaste?
No, then why would you swallow fucking hydrogen peroxide? Like, I don't fucking get you guys.
(17:45):
It's gonna look like a mad dog full of bubbles.
Because their mouth is all fucking dirty.
My mouth is clean.
My mouth is clean. I know. Clean. Hell yeah.
Okay. All right. So I just didn't know if you're one of those people who actually go and whiten their teeth
(18:05):
because I was like, you know what? She does have pretty white teeth, but
okay. All right. Another the other question was
what the fuck was your what was your very, very first job, very first job and how old were you?
I was 17 and I worked at Mervins. Remember that department store and then I guess Coles Bottom out.
(18:28):
Yeah. I used to love Mervins. Yeah. Yeah. I worked there when I was pregnant.
I'm sorry. My throat is messed up. It's okay. I have my allergies too. I sound like
but Mervins? Mervins. Yeah. Wow. Now at least the ones down here, I don't know if that Coles
Bottom out, but I just know that the Mervins in my area turned into Coles. So I don't know if that was
(18:54):
just a merger, a buyout or what? Yeah. I know. I think it was a buyout because Mervins was going to
bankrupt. Okay. Shit. Yeah. I remember. She's like that story. They hired me a seasonal Christmas.
Yeah. That's what they did with me too. So question then your first job was the Honeyham shop?
(19:15):
Nope. Mrs. Fields? Nope. Selling weed?
No. No. I'm just kidding. No. No. No. No. My very, very, very first job was Burger King.
Oh, nice. Okay. And I was 15 with the permit, a workers permit. Oh, I remember those. Remember
(19:39):
those? I wonder if they still do that. What the hell? You could only work like four hours a day, but
Yeah. And obviously after school, you couldn't work in school hours or whatever, but I totally
forgot about that. Yeah. That was, yeah, had a fucking workers permit. I don't think they even
do that anymore. Yeah. Huh. You just have to be 16 and that's it, right? Yeah, right. We don't care.
(20:06):
Shit. They were doing child labor, right? No, but yeah, my very, very first job was Burger King
and with the little workers permit and it was a bad experience. And I just, yeah, I waited until
I turned 16. Then you're like done. Yeah. And then I got another job and stuff. But my very, very,
(20:27):
very first job, yeah, was Burger King. And so the dude threw water in my face because I accidentally
hit the water button on the cash register and it charged him 10 cents, 10 fucking cents. And he threw
water on you because you charged him 10 extra cents. Yeah. Because he, it was, wow. Yep. I know.
(20:48):
And I said $3.75 is not worth it. An hour. No, actually, yeah, it was three fucking. Dude,
I cannot believe like, yeah, growing up the fucking minimum wage was fucking like trash. Well,
I guess obviously the cost of living was a lot cheaper than it is today. But isn't that crazy?
Like when I was, I just remember, would you say was $3.75? Yeah, that was my very first. Yeah.
(21:15):
Oh my God, that's so fucking crazy. A fucking hour. Right? Really? I'm going to work five hours.
Okay. 15 less than 20 bucks. I was after taxes. Right. I was talking to my co-workers today and
(21:36):
then I guess one of them was talking about cigarettes and I'm like, I don't even know how
much a pack of cigarettes costs because I don't smoke. And he's like, yeah, they're about 18 bucks
a pack now. I'm like, shut up. What the fucking hell? I remember when they were two bucks,
I don't know. I don't buy them. I guess the next time I hit the liquor store or 7-eleven,
I'm going to have to look because that is fucking ridiculous. Holy shit. I do know that
(22:01):
there was little signs in the 7-elevens and stuff saying, tobacco's going up or whatever.
Yeah. He said there was a lot or a lot of tax that passed or whatever that they added more taxes to it.
And I'm like, well, okay. Wow. Damn. 18 bucks.
(22:22):
Speaking of, I guess, whatever, smoking, I broke my sobriety today. I had one fucking
Guinness and I'm going to go back to sobriety tomorrow. So I'm proud of myself. I only had one.
And plus you said it was 70 degrees up there. Girl, today it was 51 degrees and rain non-fucking
stop. It should be 74 by Tuesday. Thank God. What? Exactly. 51 degrees and fucking just
(22:48):
continuous rain. The rain stopped maybe about two hours ago and I hope it stays that way.
I don't know. I haven't looked at the forecast. What is that? Like earthquake weather. Right?
Shit. Oh shit. So okay. All right. Well, I only have one last question that I was like,
(23:08):
I think I don't know, which is going to be great because I honestly feel like somebody can say,
ask me pretty much anything. I think I'll be able to know now. Okay. Wait, do you know how to do one
of these three things? Okay. A backflip, a cartwheel, or the splits. Do you know how to do one of those?
(23:34):
In my head. Oh yeah. Can you? Or physically? No. No. Were you ever able, like as a kid,
to just be the one? Maybe a cartwheel, like an elementary, but I can't remember off the top
of my head. So I don't want to say yes, but maybe. But the other ones, most definitely not the splits.
(23:55):
And then you said the backflip. I fucking wish I could do that. That would have been cool.
I know. I know I cannot. I can't even, I can't even do a fucking cartwheel. I could. Yeah. I don't,
I never even, the splits. I mean, I'm not like cool, like one of those dancers and just fucking
(24:15):
just drop it and with like drop it. Yeah. Drop it like a top. Yeah. Like boogie night. What is it?
John Travolta. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or John Claude Van Damme. Just. Yeah. No, fuck no. I could do a
backflip off a diving board and I could do a backflip on a trampoline, but I can't just
(24:41):
do a backflip. Oh, that would be, yeah. I never thought to do a backflip off a diving board because
that would be the safest way to practice until you got it right because you're fucking landing in water.
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, you might, you could break your neck.
You smack it on the diving board on the way down, I guess. I don't know.
Yeah. If you don't project yourself for enough shit. Okay. Smart. All right. I just, well, thank you.
(25:08):
Now I know. Well, I'm going to have to come up with some questions for next week, Van.
Oh, yeah. I still can't believe we've been friends for fucking eight years.
Girl, I'm telling you, Medusa, I was like, there's no fucking way. We are totally fucking old. That's
just so fucking crazy to me. I thought you were going to say like 10 years when you said 20.
I'm like, no, she's fucking wrong, but then June, it's like fucking 18. I'm like, yeah. Oh yeah.
(25:32):
Wow. Yeah. I know. Fuck and fuck. We're going to, we're getting there. Right.
So remember last week when we were talking about skin tags and on the next and everything and
how animals get them? Yeah. Don't. Then we has one. No. I'm like, I knew she had one when I looked.
(25:58):
It's like right where her collar hits all the time. So her collar like moves up and down and
there's one there. I just want to fucking cut it off, but she would cry like a baby.
But yeah, she has a big one and I was just like, oh, that's right. I forgot about that skin tag.
No. I remember you very, very, very first Scott. She's going to be 13 on Monday.
(26:24):
Okay. So there you go. And you're going to tell me we have facts. It's all about perspective.
I'm in denial. Clearly girl. I live my fucking life in the day. That's why I love you.
(26:46):
All right. Well, that's like pretty much that those are just all I had to say. And I just
so glad that this fucking day is over. Pretty much. You know what? I did have something I
wanted because I told you I didn't have anything for today's podcast, but I have something that
I guess you might want to know about. I don't know if you do or not, but 711 they have.
(27:15):
They have flavored waters coming out for their brand. Okay. So the first one is
lemon lime and apple. Or I'm sorry. Lemon. One of them is lemon lime. If I'm reading this correctly.
The second one is green apple. The third one is sweet orange. Okay. Are you ready for the fourth
one? Are you sitting down? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm not sitting down. Hold on. Okay.
(27:37):
Go. Hot dog flavored water in a can is the fourth fucking flavor. And the can is it says big gulp
on it with the hot dog on it for the hot dog flavored water. And I'm like, so this is dick
water. Like it's going to taste like you're all is this a limp biscuit album? Right. Right.
(28:00):
What the don't wait. Okay. And you know what's so funny is because the comments you said a limp
biscuit. The first the first comment is hilarious. It says is link. Sorry is link. I can't is limp
I can't is limp biscuit involved. And this and the person who wrote that comment, the Instagram
(28:22):
handle is cock a fellow records. That's his name. I'm like, what the fuck hot dog flavored water.
Now you know all the I would assume the pot heads are going to be the ones that are buying the fucking
hot dog flavored water. There's no way yet. Have you ever I have. Have you ever drank hot dog
(28:45):
water like if you I don't even boil my fucking hot dog so exactly like who boils hot dogs. I'm
assuming that's when I think of hot dog flavored water. That's what I think of is like when you
boil the hot dogs and water that's what it's going to be. Like tea. You boil the tea bags.
You get tea like you boil the hot dog powdered cock.
(29:08):
That is so gross. That is so gross. I've never know it. No words but you know that I bet you
that's going to be limited or I guess a limited supplier whatever it's going to fucking sell out
and it's going to be the next fucking rage because people are dumb. So did you wait? Yeah. Fuck yeah
they're dumb. Man. I have a fucking story that I can tell you right now where I'm just like wow.
(29:32):
But but did you see that water in Seven Lemon or did you read it online? No it's I guess it's on
Instagram but they're going to be debuting it or I guess it's going to be on shelves soon.
Wow hot dog. Right. I'm just like I'm at a loss. I don't even know what to say.
(29:54):
It can't. Yeah. There's no words. So is it like getting released in like Alabama or something or
right? Probably. Yeah I mean they're going to be like a little trial period. I don't even I don't
even know anybody anybody. I never met anybody that says yeah I boil hot dogs and I drink the water.
(30:17):
I've never even met somebody. I've never ever ever ever ever ever. Period. I'm going to have to GTS
because maybe as a dare somebody probably would show up online or but I will google it.
Look I put Seven Eleven hot dog and it automatically comes up flavored water.
(30:41):
What the hell. Oh it's so disgusting. That's insane. I don't know. Oh my god. Okay I'm actually
going to read this to you then. Okay. Seven Eleven incorporated the world's largest convenience retailer
today announced a collection of seven new selects spark oh it's sparkling water. That's even worse.
(31:05):
That part was left out on the Instagram. The big bite hot dog sparkling water combines the delicious
and mouthwatering experience of Seven Eleven's iconic big bite hot dog into one refreshing
beverage ketchup and mustard included. What. Gone are the days of alternating bites of a hot dog
with sips of beverage. Now those on the go can swap the bun for bubbles.
(31:33):
What. It's what plants crave. It's what it's what plants crave. I guess there's electrolytes in this
shit. Wow. I'm just totally at a loss. Holy moly. Oh my gosh.
(31:56):
Now I'm going to watch Idiocracy. Right. And for the listeners I have this bookmarked. If you go to
the show notes I will put the link in the description so you can read this monstrosity. I don't even
know what the absurdity. How about absurdity. You can read this absurdity for yourself. Oh man.
That's crazy. You know what though. What are you. Okay. So I thought what was gross was when I
(32:27):
tried to order pizza one time and I think it was Domino's or Papa John's. Somebody did that whole
like hamburger pizza where they don't put the marinara sauce. They use the Thousand Island
for the pizza. Yeah. For the sauce. Yeah. And then they put ground beef pickles. Tomato.
(32:51):
Oh that might actually was a good. You know what I was well. Yes. As many drinks as I had it was
fucking delicious. Like you're like I don't care. Yeah. I'm like it was it was two in the morning. It
was fucking delicious. Actually it was but it wasn't hot dog flavored seltzer water. There's a
(33:14):
difference. That would make me throw up even with now that seltzer water that just makes me want to
throw up even. Oh yeah. To drink that. It's all bubbly and just grow. Oh. You know. Shit. I don't
know. Maybe it's to like I don't know. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut people. Same. You know
(33:36):
what they said if you can't say nothing nice don't say nothing at all. That's what my therapist says.
I was kidding. Oh wow. Okay. You know what I'm going to boycott 7-eleven just for being that like
to carry something so atrocious on their shelves or even make it. You know. Who came up with that.
(34:01):
It had to have been like somebody that was high one night and be like I think I'm going to drink boiled
hot dog water and then I'm going to make it seltzer water and we're going to sell it.
Ben and Jerry's kids probably made that up because sometimes Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors. I'm
like what is going on here. There's potato chips. Right. Pretzels. Peanut butter cups.
(34:28):
Pop. And it's all frozen together with cream. Yeah. And almonds.
Who does that. I don't know. Somebody wants nuts in their mouth I guess. I guess. You do it.
I saw that they had a Bob Marley version called One Love. For the ice cream. Yeah. The Ben and
(34:49):
Jerry's did. So did you get it. Oh fuck yeah. I got it because it's Bob Marley. So I was like
I just I don't even give a fuck. So what was in it. What was in the ice cream. You know what.
It was actually fucking amazing. It was banana ice cream. Okay. And it had a little bit of dark
chocolate chunks. Oh yeah. That sounds really good. Yeah. It was it was fucking amazing. And
(35:14):
they think they just put like a little bit of coconut like toasted coconut in it. It was okay.
It was so freaking good. I don't know. But when I went back for some more it was a
fucking limited edition. So that was all gone. Yeah. And I was like I've never even had fucking
(35:34):
banana ice cream. You know you can freeze bananas and just throw them in like the blender or whatever
and make smooth or not. Well you can make smoothies like that. But that's why that's my version of
ice cream. I put like frozen bananas in the like in the NutriBullet or whatever your blender.
And then I do like a little bit of yogurt and then my protein mix and it's like a fucking milkshake.
(35:56):
It's delicious. I used to for the kids when they were younger. I just put a popsicle stick
or the banana in the freezer and then dipped it in like the chocolate or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
Those right time. I do put bananas in my smoothies and stuff too. Yeah. But I've never had banana
(36:17):
ice cream. Yeah. It's just I don't know. I just and then everybody thinks I'm weird because I don't
like to eat my fruit room temperature. I like to eat my my fruit is always eaten frozen pomegranate
and I just eat it like I'm like I'm so good at eating my fruit. I mean you can eat it like you
can. I know it's not that great. I know it's not that great. I know it sounds weird. But like so I
(36:40):
bought a five pound bag of those Mandarin peels that are seedless I guess. Yeah. So I peeled them all
and then I put them in individual bags and then I throw them in my either in my smoothie or like if
Pat on the back. It's natural sugar, I guess. Like if I'm out walking or doing cardio and it's hot then I
Pack that with me. I guess that makes sense. I used to do that with grapes
(37:02):
I still do fucking frozen grapes are good
But I overdosed on that like ten years ago because I would eat those non-stop
That is so fucking good and they're so easy to just to clean and then throw into a baggie and freeze them. Yep
So good and I used to do that to do like two birds one stone if I was taking a lunch to work
Uh-huh, and I didn't have a little ice pack
(37:27):
Yeah, there you go. Yeah, and I would freeze my strawberry
I would freeze my raspberries and my blueberry
You know what fuck I freeze my fruit too
It's just tastes better that way and you know what Tina taught me
Because she's an alcohol not an alcoholic, but she loves her alcohol the way we do or what we once did
(37:49):
She's like em all you need to do like when you freeze your blueberries just throw it in the Tupperware or put
Let me say this right put your blueberries in a Tupperware
I'm like, okay, and then she's like throw some vodka in there and let it just fucking freeze
But you know the vodka doesn't really freeze, but like it's like a blueberry vodka
The blueberries are infused with vodka and it's just yummy to eat them like like oh
(38:15):
Yummy, yeah, just like oh, she knows all the drinks
Yeah, I know Tina. I miss Tina. Damn. You know what it's been 20 years
The listens are probably like you bitches are dumb, you know what yeah, I guess we are
(38:37):
And you call yourselves besties
We're besties for a reason we don't know how to count
Yeah, I know times an illusion
Too much fun just trying to take the crash out
Fuck
Oh my gosh, you know what honestly now shit. I'm thinking yeah last time I saw Tina was
(39:02):
Probably at my brother's house one week karaoke. Yeah. I was what was it 4th of July? Oh, yeah at your brother's house
I think you know was still a toddler or a baby baby
And I didn't even bring her
(39:23):
Yeah, she wasn't there that time I mean yes, of course I would bring her when it was like yeah or whatever, but
Yeah, I didn't bring her that day. I was at your oh, you know what I think the last time I saw Tina was on your brother's birthday
At his house
Okay. Yeah in the garage probably that's yeah, and I think that's when we carry okay, right?
Or was yeah here the kid I
(39:48):
Don't even remember what song it was by the cure, but I know we carry it. Yeah
I'm in love song. Yeah, or the the weekday song or whatever I call it the weekday song
I know that's not what it's called, but all the days of the week song. Yeah
Yeah, we fucking rocked
I miss karaoke nobody likes to karaoke. I like to karaoke. I don't give a fuck
(40:08):
you know we should like
We should like download a karaoke app that you and I can do you know pomeon of us
I'm gonna say this and you're gonna be like no, but I know you don't want to but we should really like do video for
Podcasts like the way Shannon Sharp and Ocho Senko does it on YouTube. I would love to do that with you
Hang out, you know what I would do it with you. I'm just gonna be in a ski mask
(40:30):
You know what we could do that if you down and then I'll have to figure out how to
I think I gotta find out how or what pod or what?
Platform I guess or how they get the recording I guess since they're
Everybody's always not in the same place. So I gotta I'll do some research
If you if you're if you're down for it, then I'll start researching it if not, I'm not gonna bother
(40:53):
I mean, I don't want to I'm pressure you and then I won't I won't look into it is what I'm saying
No, that's not up to you. Just when you whenever if you're up to it, let me know if not, that's fine too
Yes, I will but I'm just being I'm all we could be like death punk
You know what yeah, we could but
How would our mics because we still have our mics too? Yeah, I would I'll have to look into that if you're if you're
(41:16):
Want to do it that way and then if you want to wear a mask or whatever that would like add some mystery and mystique to it
Yeah, I think people are gonna be like
Mom, are you fucking serious? What you trying to hide?
My beautiful face, I don't want
Yeah, I know I don't want a fake
Profile made on that
(41:38):
I don't want to be I don't want my beautiful face to turn into a catfish account
You're hilarious. I love it. No, right. Oh my gosh. Can you imagine all the catfish accounts that would happen?
That's good, right? I mean you already had your identity stolen once it would just happen like a multitude over
(41:58):
At least 20 times
Yeah, I just be like, are you sure you want to still like I'm the kid that
The nobody wants to kidnap
They kidnapped me there. They would have to be drunk from the goonies. Yeah
Fuck you or I yeah, you're just there to say that we stole the wrong kid. Like this the wrong fucking like you got food in a bed
(42:23):
Cool, I'm staying. Yeah, I feel like where we going over there yet. It's
Like, do you know I can get this pen?
Right now my dad taught me that
I can do that the age of four
Right. No. Yeah, nobody. Yeah. Nobody wants to steal my identity. Trust me. I mean, I'm
(42:47):
That would be they would you know, I wish I should encourage somebody to do it so I can just like anyway
You're like
You're gonna have that life
Go ahead
Go ahead
I hope I can
I hope you are you're prepared
(43:10):
I remember one of the guys
I don't remember what his name was or what his handle was but on Twitter. I'm still on Twitter all day long because of Raider Nation
but
Raider Nation Twitter one guy
He was like he posted on there. He's like, what does this mean when it said something like
He got a message on his phone that I guess his Sim got unlocked or whatever even though he had his phone with him
(43:37):
But everybody's like bro somebody hacked your account like somebody's in your phone
But as you like identity theft for the phone does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. So he you know what he fucking says
He's like he ain't gonna get shit from me. My credit sucks and I've been arrested out for my warrants. So
Happy times. Yeah, take my identity is what he said
(44:03):
Like spam emails like so-and-so is requesting money and so I'm like what the fuck like
I think I owe sale money
They're like aren't you scared if somebody hacks your fucking bank account
Oh, they should be scared that they're gonna get the clang
(44:24):
right
Like where's the Nigerian prince that keeps calling everybody talking about he has money to send me
Yeah
Oh speaking of that
(44:45):
I'm gonna ask you there's another thing. Do you have
Checks that you could write you carry checks around actually I do oh my god
They last forever, but when I write my mom checks or whatever but before when I was paying rent
I was just like can we just pay rent on my credit card so I can get points on my card
(45:07):
Yeah, right there like no it doesn't work that way and I'm like I swear my credit's good or like it'll go through
I just want points on my credit card. I'm like there's no point in me fucking writing you a check every fucking month, but
That's the only reason why I have checks is because I was paying rent
Oh
Only paint for the form of payment
(45:27):
Right, yeah
Or I guess once I hope when I move out that I don't have to fucking
What's it called do the check thing I'm like let me sell you or fucking credit cards so I can get my points
That would be great great all day, but yeah, I have like I think maybe you know
How I don't know how many come in a pack or like the books or I think I have like 50 who books left
(45:51):
Yeah, and I'm like I really don't want to have to buy more books after this because who's a fuck right to checks anymore
Well, I carry checks. Oh, you carry them with you. I do. Oh, yeah, and you know what?
I thought I would use that for your mortgage then or yeah, no
They just take my payment this automatic every all my bills most are automatic. Yeah, and they just take just take my money
(46:13):
I'm done. You carry your checks in your in your bag. No in my purse. I have I have a
Book of checks. Yeah. Yeah, um
Yeah, I do it's in a fucking checkbook too one those fucking old
Yeah, well, it's not a old-ass wallets actually a fucking MK wallet, but still it it still has a slot for checks like like ha
(46:36):
Maybe old ladies want to still rock MK. Yeah, I do and you're right and I bought it so
I put my checkbook in there and I thought I was
Legit cool because they had that carbon copy under the check. Oh, yeah
I remember those the duplicate checks
Yeah, and remember when you had the carbon copies, yeah
(46:58):
I really need to balance my checkbook and put the number of the check and what I wrote it for
Mount and yeah, and
Whatever and you're just balancing because we had brains and we had to like we were our own
Yes, yeah, yeah, there was no app for that
Right. There was no Excel back in the day. Yeah, exactly
(47:20):
Exactly. And I yeah, I realized that shit. I fucking carry checks who
Okay, you want to know who will accept a check? I mean other than maybe our parents my my dad would definitely take a check
Yeah, my mom
You know what I wanted to set like Zella between me and my mom
But I was just like that's too much fucking work because shoot it
(47:44):
Just wouldn't she wouldn't be able to grasp the concept exactly
Irritate me that I'd have to explain it 18 fucking times every time
You know my mom thinks she's online when she's reading a fucking Kindle book
On a Kindle. All right, what are you doing? I'm just online. I'm like really you don't even have a cell phone
But what do you what what website are you on? Oh, I'm reading you're reading your fucking Kindle book like just
(48:10):
You're not online. Yeah, I download that shit. I
Don't know precious
Well, I didn't mean to cut you off. I'm sorry. No, you didn't come you off
Okay, so I was gonna tell you though about the whole check thing before we go. Okay. I'm gonna tell you something
(48:31):
This is my gosh. This is how old I am and I carry the checkbook. Why do I carry it? I don't know
I think sometimes I might need to write a check
Who accepts checks? I don't really know because there is a couple times where I wrote checks and they just kind of
Scan it through a thing and they just give it right back to me
(48:52):
They probably yeah, because anytime like I got it like I still do the paper route when it comes to um
Filing my taxes or whatever. I don't do the electronic or whatever
So like I'll take a picture of the check with my banking app and then deposit it that way when they send me my refund
Yeah, that's the same rule. Yeah, you can actually take a picture of the check. You don't have to go to the bank and say
(49:18):
Thank you. I did this check right fucking picture and
Like paper it doesn't even exist like it's there, but oh wait a second. No, I don't do that
I'm sorry. I do
If I do have if somebody writes me a check and that never fucking happens
But if I were to receive a check I can take a picture with that my banking app and then it gets deposited
(49:42):
IRS refund gets automatically deposited into my account
It's been a long day
The same thing I think I got a check and my fucking insurance was just kind of like um, yeah
You you we owe you and I was like, oh you double paid one month. I'm like, yeah, of course because I'm always
(50:03):
I was drunk when I paid it and then I
Again and I just tell myself fuck it. I have the money to pay it again and if I don't one month ahead
Yeah, exactly, then I don't know next month. So yay, that's kind of productive and great
But and they'll send me a check. Oh, yeah, there's a check and my bank will say the same thing
Just take a picture and boom. Well, oh, so
(50:27):
Okay, so but I'm gonna just finish this up. I
Was I switched purses?
Okay, I went from you know, just a black purse. It's gonna be spring now
So I went for a little tan like purse and this is well actually that's a lie you guys. I'm a fucking liar
I'm gonna pretend that that's I'm gonna tell you the story how I wish it went but
(50:49):
Um
But anyways, I switched purses, okay, and I
somehow some way left my
Debit like I have a little wallet
It's a little cute one with my debit card my credit card my triple a car
Just the little cards that all my little cards and it's a cute little thing
(51:10):
I let that fucking thing in my purse and I was purses and I I didn't realize that didn't have to use any money for anything
Whatever I go to the fucking grocery store. Oh
I know and it's one of those runs where it's just not you don't just need bread and milk and eggs
It's you need everything. Yeah. Yeah
(51:31):
and
Yeah, so yeah, I get rung up and everything and
I'm looking in my purse. I'm like motherfucker. Maybe I sometimes I fuck. I don't even know I was just freaking out
I went to my car thought maybe
Sometimes I actually you know leave my debit card somewhere cuz I write whatever anything anything anything
(51:55):
Nope, I don't have shit and I go in my purse. I'm like I have my fucking checkbook though. Oh
Does it so places still take checks? I guess well the guys like a check
Right. Yeah, I was like you take checks and he's all
Uh, yeah, yeah, we'll take checks. I'm like well then fucking perfect because
(52:20):
Perfect, I'll write a fucking check
It's from the same mother fucking account as the card and it's gonna write and I bounce if you guys even know what a bounce check is
but
Insufficient funds for the millenials
I write the check
Okay, don't you remember ever writing a check and the people will ask for your ID and they would
(52:42):
Okay, didn't even ask for my ID because they've never had to deal with a check
Yeah, and then you know what he says I can't accept it. Why and I said why?
And he's like because it just says your name and no address
I was like, but you know my ID you can always like write that way. So your cats don't have your address
(53:02):
Um, I kind of looked at them and I was like motherfuckers because I ordered them
I'm like three like four years ago. I ordered like a new thing of checks, right? I don't you know what actually?
Yeah, I looked at it and it just says my name and there's no fucking weird
But it I ordered those checks through one of those little sites where it's like say this that it was like
(53:26):
like it was it was $10 for a
Like a what is it called a box of checks?
Okay, yeah, and I was like, yeah because my bank is trying to charge me 30. So right
Same shit
Yeah, but no, he didn't want to accept it and I said, you know what I did
I said, are you kidding me because it was so much fucking food and
(53:50):
You're gonna really make somebody take this all back. I said, you know what you need to do
I go you get my ID and I put the little cross and they put
It's just you know, they put the state the thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah little
And I said oh my god, I totally forgot about that. Yeah, and I said because I know what I had to do and I got a check
(54:12):
And and I'm gonna fucking write
I'm gonna write my number on here because yeah just in case I need to call you if this check bounces because guess what?
The check doesn't go into your account the money from the routing number and the count number goes into your account
So please just thank you for educating the millennial because he probably didn't know any of that
Yeah, and you know what he said, let me call my manager and I said
(54:35):
I said, please you ain't getting off that even yeah. Yeah, and everybody's getting like the frustrated like of course because
This whole the fucking lie. Yeah, and I'm and you know, I also get embarrassed
But I I don't leave any situation until
It's handled like there's no way right
Yeah, so did they take it?
(54:55):
Yeah, the manager comes he's like well, why doesn't it have it? I said it doesn't matter. I go and you know what?
Jose you see me here every week
You fucking come on dude. They're gonna do dirty take it. He's like you're right
Yeah, and I was like it has everything legitimate. You guys wait. So when when did this happen? Just this was like this was like four months ago
(55:18):
So that's why when I said I was lying because I was like it's spring and I was changed my purse. No, I changed my purse
Four months. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so it wasn't spring
But I just like to change my purses and I didn't want people to think I'm all bougie and shit
But yes, I I do want my purse to match and shit. Well, I guess carrying your your check or a book a checkbook
(55:40):
And your purse paid off. Yeah, but who would actually what kind of situation?
What if like you you were driving and your car has to go to a shop and you don't have you
You lost your wallet. You lost everything, but you had to check both. Would the mechanic take a check?
would
(56:01):
Yeah, I I would say no. I don't even know about that
Like I don't think any I don't know
Sometimes I get these things that say how are you gonna pay check money order?
I'm like people or credit card
It's like oh you guys accept checks and then I flip it over
(56:23):
What you remember those type of receipts or invoices would say if you're writing a check make it out to xyz
Yes, yeah, and I'm looking like
If you accept checks you would tell me who the fuck to make it out to right
So
I don't know. It's just weird. I don't know who accepts checks. I'm scared now
(56:44):
It's like I'm scared now like am I am I carrying garbage like dead weight?
Is this obsolete? Is this truly obsolete? Should I not carry a check book? I would say just leave it at home
What good is that shit gonna do like I don't know
I might as well just put it like in a shredder bin
(57:06):
And yeah, I keep mine in my nightstand
Yeah, I mean what if I have to change my let's just say my locks at the house emergency
I need a locksmith. Do you accept checks and the locksmith says no
Doesn't matter well. I'm home. I could write you a check because I keep my checkbook at home, but you don't accept them
I'm just like who the fuck would accept that would my gardener would my gardener that like oh, they'll take checks
(57:35):
I'm sure they would
I know no
How do you do him you just paying cash?
Zell oh zell. Okay. Well, but yeah, and you know what the gardeners you got a you know, no
They they ain't taking checks. They don't want no proof of nothing
You know what valid point. Yeah
I'll just take this but I also thought zell if you transferred or maneuvers too much money. They give you like a
(58:02):
Yeah, they report that
Yeah
Well, I mean, I guess that makes sense because you could be a little jugular bird
Zell me 15,000 for this key that I'm shipping over like right
It's crazy. Yeah, but yeah, so I don't know girl. I think checks um
I
(58:23):
Know
I don't know. I just really now that I'm thinking about I think I only have like this one book that I'm
I have now and like one more left and I really don't want to have to buy anymore
Or I guess order is the proper term. Right. I really don't want to have to order anymore. So hopefully that shit goes away permanently
I think it kind of is
(58:44):
I because honestly don't be
I'm not confident at all that anybody would take my check. Should I not have my
Thank god, you're a regular there. I know I was like shut up
You can't like put like a lean on my house or something. It's fucking 300 dollars worth of groceries. Just shut the fuck up
(59:06):
It's a perfectly good
Okay, god, I don't I don't even think they even knew what a fucking check was and they don't teach you how to write checks anymore
Yeah, I know
It's crazy. But why are they gonna fucking tell us about dinosaurs? That's like old news
(59:28):
Is this gonna happen? Fuck your dinosaurs and now your dinosaurs have feathers. Okay
Got it, right? No, it's not a planet and now checks don't exist
I miss the old days right now, right the good old days. I used to churn my butter
(59:52):
And on that note, pomeonable, do you have any parting words, ma'am?
Um, um, just happy
festive
Easter if anybody celebrates that I know it's an important holiday for most
Um, so if you celebrate that happy Easter and for those that are like me
(01:00:13):
Um, yeah, I hope we all get to sleep in until 11 and no family calls us
Right, that's about it
I will say happy Easter to everybody as well and um, if you don't know what a check is or a routing number or the cross that you would write on
Your check with your driver's license and your phone number, etc. Etc. I'm sure you can gts it and
(01:00:38):
There's actually a tutorial and leave us a comment if you write have no idea what we're talking about, please
Please leave us a comment for those that know exactly what we're talking about. Please just reassure us that
We're still in the game of life
We're just a little behind just a little yeah
(01:01:00):
Yeah, all right on that note. We are out. Have a good one. Peace. Peace
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