April 28, 2024 • 50 mins
In this episode, Baroque Medusa gets a crash course in Chaldean Name Numerology from PAHMOANAH BULITZ, who reveals the number assigned to Medusa. The Clink-Clink Gang takes a trip down memory lane, discussing road rage, Shake n Bake, and the challenges of being moms getting their kids involved in extracurricular activities. Join in as the besties catch up, with plenty of profanities flying along the way. Tune in for a lively and nostalgic conversation!
Mentioned in this episode:
- Chaldean Name Numerology: https://astrologyfutureeye.com/fortune-tellers/name-numerology-calculator
All good things must come to and end:
Volume 4 - Foot Pose Maven: A Foot Model's Diary written by Baroque Medusa, is now available on Amazon Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. Buy it. Read it. Review it. https://a.co/d/2kYSF0l
Baroque Medusa home:
https://baroquemedusa.com/
https://www.instagram.com/baroquemedusa/
https://twitter.com/baroquemedusa
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Clean, clean, drink, drink. You are Pomona Bullets and I am Baruch Medusa and this is Top
(00:15):
Shelf Hi Jinks. Let us begin.
Good afternoon Bestie. Good evening I guess. Good early evening Bestie. Shit. Right. We
are getting old. That is right. I am not happy hours. What is it called when the seniors
(00:41):
go out to Denny's dinner and it is really early. Oh. Is that called sunrise or what
is it? I don't know. I don't know either. I never attended such an event. What is going
on? Nothing much. You know what? I was thinking. Remember back in the day we were just kind
(01:10):
of like exploring things as far as vision boards and stuff like that. Yeah. Okay. Remember
you were doing like I think it was like numerology or something. I think I was reading up on
that when Madonna was into it. I am like what the fuck is this shit? Let me read into
it. Yeah. We were trying to figure out what it was because I guess it was all that whole
(01:35):
thing where people were like it is 1111 and 1111 and oh yeah. If you see that and I think
they mean like trying to make like a scary movie about it or some shit. I don't know.
But yeah. Like did you ever do your name? Or it is like you calculate the number of
(01:56):
your name and it is supposed to give you some type of like. No. Oh shit. What is it called?
It is not numerology. Well it is. Well it is a part of it I guess. I don't know. I did
not know that. Yeah. So I found this like you can find your you can like enter your
(02:16):
name and you get your number or whatever but I was like okay but I don't know like what
does it mean? So yeah. I don't know. Did you do it? Actually I just pulled up the site
and I was like oh shit. Maybe I should do it. So I put my name in there and it is like
I guess my number is like 25. Okay. I was going to put your name and see what your number
(02:40):
is but then again I don't know what the hell that is supposed to mean. Well what is my
number? I am curious. I am just telling you what my number is. I am going to go there.
I am getting it. Alright. Let's see. Yours is. Okay. Of course there is a bunch of fucking
ads on this shit. Right. And they are all pop up. Okay. Pop ups later. Yep. Let's see.
(03:09):
You are. You are doing my birth name I am assuming. My government name. Yep. Doing
your government issue name. Got it. Oh shit. You are a 10. Okay. I am a 25. Right. Let's
see. It says that. Oh so I guess break it down. So the one. The one is the sun. Means
(03:36):
leader independent creative. You are influenced by the qualities of planet sun. Well I am
a sun worshipper and that's for damn sure. There you go. You are firmly determined. Brave.
You have leadership qualities. You are original thinker. You have the qualities to control
(03:57):
everything around you. Sometimes you become stubborn and angry when things don't happen
according to your desires. Every fucking day. Right. I am a 10. Yeah. You are a fucking
10. I am a 10. Yep. And what about 25. Oh shit. Let's see. Let me go back to that.
(04:19):
Okay. Well that's just what one means. I don't know what the zero means. Let's see. Wait.
Hold on. Before I do that. Let's see what zero means. There's I mean there's a plethora
of other stuff that says that. Where's your zero. Zero even freaking mean anything. I
don't think I'm right. I can't tell everything out. I don't see a zero anywhere. Okay. Hold
(04:45):
up. Let's let's keep going. Okay. Two. One. Sheesh. I don't see a zero. Well at least
on this site I don't see anything about zero. Okay. So 25 I guess I'll just begin with two.
Let's see. Freaking crazy. Okay. My my I have so many phones like I told you I feel like
(05:11):
I'm some type of drug dealer or something. Right. I'm like you know let me just let me
have too many. Yeah. I hate my phone. I am not the one that just keeps it strapped to
me like a little leash. Right. Right. Yeah. So many people. Why didn't you answer it.
Well maybe because I freaking didn't want to. Right. I saw your name pop up and I'm like
(05:34):
I'm going to hard pass. Yeah. Okay. What the hell does to okay to describe your inner potentials
and their likes dislikes. Okay. Whatever. I don't know how come mine doesn't freaking
out. Of course mine has to be so high. Huh. What's the five. The five. Let me look for
(05:59):
five. I just keep saying like how to calculate and what to do. I don't know how come yours
gave such direct answers. You're going to send me the web link when you can and then
I'll put it in the show notes in case anybody else wants to I guess compute their name.
Oh for sure. Huh. I've never heard of that. So interesting.
(06:21):
Yeah. It is. I mean I guess it's somewhat like horoscopes. I mean I know both of us
aren't truly like we live our life according to horoscope says but it's kind of interesting
to just see. Yeah. To see what they say and see if it matches up with our how we are.
(06:42):
Yeah. I do believe in Torres. Yeah. Totally Torres. Oh to the listeners it was Pomona
Bullets birthday this past Wednesday. So happy belated birthday. I mean I told you happy
birthday on your birthday but the listeners just say happy birthday to Pomona Bullets.
Yay. This rock star. Yes. I'll take all I can get. Did your co-workers throw you a party
(07:06):
since they're always big on fucking birthdays or I don't know how that works. No. They didn't.
The funny thing is is hey boss she's like barking orders at me the day of and I'm listening
and I'm like OK. Yep. And I said sure I said do you think maybe I could leave a little
bit early today since it's my birthday. Let me drop that on you. Yeah. Not that it's
(07:32):
a big deal but she's like oh shit bitch it's your birthday. Why did you tell me. OK one
I am not that one. I'm not either. I used to be but not anymore. Yeah. Shit. I ain't
trying to celebrate. I am one step closer to my grave like no. Celebrating that shit.
(07:52):
I'm not going to go wearing my birthday banner. Yeah. Yeah. I was like yeah I'm not that one
that wants all that attention like my birthday tomorrow. It's my birthday tomorrow. No I
don't do that. I do know many people that do and it makes me not even want to even say
happy birthday. Right. Shut up. But yeah no nothing. And then they did one of those shit.
(08:17):
It's her birthday. Somebody go run and grab her a card that we can all sign and so it
was one of those. It was OK because I don't want to celebrate my birthday with them anyways.
Right. OK well at least you're able to leave early. Yeah like 30 minutes early. 30 minutes.
(08:42):
Wow. But I'll take what I can get. My son bought me a gift and it was OK. Super cute
and I opened it up and guess what it was. New hoops. OK. I'm like Bob Marley. No. Yeah.
I got new hoops and they're actually bigger than the ones I have. So. There you go. Got
(09:06):
some door knock. To Jesus. Got some door knockers. Saintly. That's right bitch. Bring back the
90s. There you go. And then. How cute is that. But I did get a another gift and actually
it was Bob Marley. It was a beautiful picture. It's like a canvas. Pretty big. Oh OK. Yeah
(09:28):
it's pretty awesome. And then it says you never know how strong you are until being
strong is your only choice. Well that's what you are the last few months bitch. I know.
I was like preach it Bob. I'm going to hang right above my fucking bed. You're like bless
me sir. Rasta far right. That's right. Yeah. I don't know. OK so did you see the Instagram
(09:57):
I sent you of the person that was tattooing a handbag. Yeah. Have you ever done that.
I'm like that would be so cool to do. No. You know I used to do that to the plastic
cups like plastic cups. OK. Well you need to start doing it on handbags. You could sell
those bitches real fucking quick and then you wouldn't have to deal with anybody's like
(10:18):
oh can you put a hummingbird on my fucking foot. Yeah. No shit. If I didn't have to touch
anybody ever again. That would be great. That would be great. Like please no. I don't know.
I just I can't take it. And the biggest caveat for me that really maybe say yeah you know
(10:41):
maybe tattooing isn't really for me is that I hate fucking cry babies. Why do people feel
like they can I want to tattoo. You think it's not going to hurt. Thank you very much.
And they can't breathe and you see all their fucking blood just going to their head and
they turn red like a beat and they keep out. Yeah. And you wonder why your tattoo is like
(11:06):
shit because you're fucking shaking like a leaf in the wind. Exactly. Fucking calm down.
But you said I couldn't drink. Well yeah because I don't want you to bleed all over
the fucking place. Right. You look like you need iron one. You need some thick blood up
in this. Yeah. Exactly. Shit. I don't know. So I didn't of course I muscled through those
(11:32):
type of appointments but right. It was just always so freaking irritating. And I think
like my whole creative like light was just would just dim by the moment because of the
other energy. Yeah. Totally understandable. That's why I stop personal training. I'm like
well if you don't want to do my regimen then you can go just be fat. Yeah. Yeah. It's
(11:55):
a ding dong. You fucking sorry. I have a certain way of training and just have you have a certain
way of tattooing and it's just like you got to put the work in. Yeah. So I'm like super
selective. I hate it when someone's like can can you do a tattoo on me this that. Um sure.
Yep. I'll just what do you want. What is it. Where at. Let me drop a brick on your
(12:21):
foot. Test it out. How did that feel. Here. Catch the start. Even better. So did you
do. Did you. I know last week you said that you were going to draw out or I don't know
if you talked to the guy the paw print. Oh yeah. Yeah. I got. Yeah. His doggy that passed
(12:42):
away of 14 years. Yep. No I have it all set up and. Oh cool. Yeah. I know. I just got
to wait for some materials to get come in and get delivered. Okay. Yeah. So that. Well
good. I'm glad to hear. Yeah. But yeah. I really want to check out that purse. I was
watching that video that you sent me and I was I almost thought it was one of those
(13:07):
um heat type guns for you or like a scriber or you can spend on metal. I have. Yeah.
I don't know what I just assumed it was a regular tattoo gun but I'm like so I'm sorry
Pomona bullets will be able to figure this out. Yeah. I'm like it is a tack it is a
tattoo machine because I see the little grip on it that was taped around it. I'm like right
(13:29):
it's a tattoo machine. So shit that would be freaking nice. And what is that. Okay.
So now that you say the tape the tape the grip tape or whatever why is it like that
because all tattoo people have that. Yeah. It's just easier to handle them or yeah because
well obviously your your hands get a little clammy at times. Oh that makes sense. Okay.
(13:52):
So you just kind of want to grip. So right. Make fine lines and not all shaky or you know
got it. Yeah. Forgive me. I'm sorry. You are forgiven my child. So sorry. Did you get
your car wash. Oh my god. Yes. Mike I haven't had a car wash in like maybe months like maybe
(14:13):
three or four months because it keeps raining off and on and I'm like I don't think it's
going to rain anymore. And then my next door neighbor they're getting a brand new roof.
And so me and M's cars were in the driveway and they they ripped all the like the old
roof off right and all this shit just came crashing not crashing down but like all sprayed
my my car and my daughter's car and I'm just like okay well I'm parking on the street till
(14:36):
this is fucking over but I had so much fucking shit on my fucking car I finally got it washed
and I'm thank God. Well I gave you a better or a reason. Yeah. So it's been washed. Thank
God and I think I'm just going to start going Sunday afternoons because there was nobody
there. I was in and out in 30 minutes. I'm like why do I go when they first open because
(14:59):
that's when everybody's there. Yeah. Whatever. I just finally learned. Is it when were they
like wash your car and then vacuum it for you. Yeah vacuum and then wipe it down and
all that. Yeah. You get to pick a free air freshener. Yeah. You know what I did and I'm
like you know let me try black ice because I've never smelled it. I don't know. It is
(15:19):
the duchiest fucking. It smells like a fucking tools fucking cologne. Yes. But yeah it's
just like Dracor nor nor Harvey said nor on crack and I'm like wow okay this is cool
never again should have went with cherry or vanilla. Black ice. That's why I don't know
(15:45):
why I just I'm like yeah just give me black ice. It's like a cheap ass cologne. I'm like
fuck this shit. I can taste it in my mouth. It's gross. I'm surprised it's not all up
in my pores. It was really strong. Well you know you're not supposed to remove the bag
completely from those little trees. Oh no it's not a tree. They sprayed it. Oh oh shit.
(16:09):
So it's even worse. So it's like legit cologne. Oh no they spray like your the mats. Yeah
right. Okay well here we are at least my car is clean. Yeah at least you can see out your
windshield now. Thank God. It was just all smearing even when you know you turn your
windshield wipers on with the water to wash it. It was just smearing everywhere. I'm like
(16:33):
I guess I really need a car wash. So what happened you're not doing the detailer anymore.
No I never did it and then I'm like if he comes over my mom's just gonna ask way too
many questions and she'll get in my business and I don't have time for this shit. It will
just set me off. That's all you need to know. Like I'm not having one of those episodes.
(16:58):
Do people often tell you why are you so angry or are you do they ever come up to you or
like. No they haven't they used to say that to me all the time to monobulls but not anymore
but like every now and then like mom will set me off. My daughter's like you just need
to let it go. I'm like oh I'm gonna get cancer. Yeah I'm holding this shit in. Exactly.
(17:24):
I take mine out on the streets. I mean that's why I go to the gym. You're at the gym for
two and a half hours. Yeah I'm getting away from you. I release my anger out. I don't
follow people or honk my horn anymore. I don't. I use my horn like yeah I use my mouth.
Girl and I used to do my I used to flash my brights all the way. Oh my God especially
(17:51):
on the freeway when I would tailgate people I'm like get the fuck out of the fast lane
bitch. What you're doing the same and I like lose it like three feet from your right exactly
and I'm like and then like now when people do that to me I was just like don't have me
slam on my brakes bitch because I will fucking do that. I will tap my tap the brakes so you
(18:11):
can see that the lights come on. Yeah. And we can't believe I used to be that much of
an asshole. I'm just a bitch. Yeah I'm a tired bitch. I don't even honk. I don't even honk.
Do not invade my personal space please and thank you. Yes. If you want me to remain nice.
Exactly. I don't even yeah I just I'm just a crazy woman in my car and I'm just like
(18:34):
you fucking idiot. I usually just like slam my hands on my steering wheel and I'll just
I hope they're looking at me in their rear view. I don't even flip them off anymore. I
just go what the fuck like I just do like go. I can actually see you flipping people.
(18:54):
I do. Yeah I do. And I'm in tears over you. I used to honk the fucking lights green go
but would you be the type of person that you would just like lay on the horn and like
for a good minute because I was like I'm just like they start driving and I'm like I'm
(19:15):
still going to be on my fucking horn bitch. Yeah. You packed me up and I'll beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep. Right. Get the fuck out of my way. You know what I just sometimes I
just want to like carry a sack of oranges and just like throw an orange at them or you
know like some really really really ripe oranges that will just splatter once they hit. Right.
(19:40):
And they're really heavy. Yeah. Maybe maybe a ripe grapefruit. I can see that. Maybe like
Medusa my shoulder hurts again. Why. I trucked a grapefruit out the window while I was driving.
I mean it's better than I used to chuck water bottles and shit like. Oh my God my uncle he's
(20:05):
no longer alive. He died like a couple years ago. He was I want to say he was 80 but like
growing up in New Jersey he would he would have rocks underneath his fucking seat and
he would throw him out the window at people if they pissed him off. No. Yes. And I was
just like how is this motherfucker never been arrested for assault or vandalism. I don't
(20:29):
even know what it was like shit man. He would just like open his window and fucking and
I never witnessed it. My brother asked. I was just like this guy is so fucking retarded.
Like what the fuck rocks. Were they like rock girl. I don't know. Just big enough that he
and he this motherfucker was all of five one obviously short man. He got a little man syndrome.
(20:55):
Three. Yeah. I was just like oh my God. I'm so glad that was not my dad because I'd have
been like you know what I'm going to have to sever ties with you real fucking quick
bro. I've never thrown a rock at a car. Right. I did that I would have been arrested. Yeah
(21:17):
of course I would have been caught. I would have been caught and caught and caught and
caught and straight straight to the cell. Same. Oh hell no. I don't know. That's insane.
So you didn't honk. You don't honk. Every now and then I do if we're out of stoplight
(21:40):
and you know like it turns green and obviously you know the person's on their fucking phone
right because I'm like I'm still fucking sitting here bitch. Let's go. Right. Then I honk.
So do you wait like a three. I give it a rule. Yeah I don't count it but I was just like
you can you know you can just tell her like get off your fucking phone and drive. Yeah.
(22:00):
Yeah. I do the same. He's just kind of but you know what I don't even get angry anymore
if I'm trying to like hurry up and get something out of my purse like let's just say it's a
light. I'm trying to get chapstick out of my purse and the light turns green. I don't
realize it and someone honks. I used to get fucking heated. I was I was like one over
(22:23):
you want to fuck. Oh I can totally see you doing that after now that I got I've gotten
to know you a lot. I'm doing the podcast. I'm like not today. Not today. But yeah now
I'm just like oh like I'm like the old day like oh thank you sorry like let me go. I'm
(22:45):
just kidding my chapstick. That's it. You know I was just going to say I'm like I'm I'm
moistening my lips because I'm about to go down on your husband. Shut the fuck up and
you know show up an hour later. Okay. Well bitch my work in bitch if you're driving your
(23:06):
other car you have to go right over me. You have your fucking broom your motherfucking
witch. Does your broom have a horn you fucking witch. Right. I know. Go play Quidditch with
Harry Potter. Oh my gosh. It's so funny. I even oh gosh I hate when people don't know
(23:33):
a four way stop. How the fuck do you have your license. I don't know. Oh that's right.
You don't even own a signature. You don't even know Christmas. What. Why would I expect
you to know how to. Yeah. I expect you to know how to use a four way stop. Fucking hate
that. I hate that. And of course they wouldn't know how to drive manual. Of course not.
(23:59):
Exactly. My daughter doesn't know how I offered her to teach her how to drive manual before
I got rid of my rid of my Dodge Neon back in 2013. And she's like no. And then I fucking
get my Chevy Sonic right. And of course it's manual and like a month later she's like I
think I'm ready to learn now. I'm like you're not learning how to drive stick on a brand
(24:21):
new fucking car. Are you fucking crazy. Like what the fuck. And that was the end of the
conversation. I will never teach you. Not on a brand new car. Yeah. Yeah. Tell her to
go rent a car. Right. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So when does your son get out of school. I
(24:46):
think I asked you this probably mid June. Yeah. Mid June. Okay. Yep. Yeah. My youngest
nephew is graduating this year. Shut the front door. That's what I said. I'm like go ahead.
Wow. Is the oldest nephew college founder. He's 20. Shit. How old is that motherfucker.
(25:07):
He's 26. Now he moved to Chicago. I thought I told you that his girlfriend lives in Chicago.
He moved out there like a year and I want to say it's going to be two years. I think
it'll be two years or maybe two years. No. I think it'll be two years in August. What
is he married engaged. No. They're just living together. Boyfriend girlfriend. Good. Good.
(25:30):
Yeah. Whoa. That's that's where does the time go. Geez. I know. And I'm turned 32 last
week. Last Friday. Not this past Friday but last Friday. We finally did Chili's yesterday.
Oh. And every time we fucking go to Chili's I always order the same thing. It's the fajita
trio. Right. And she ordered whatever the fuck she ordered. She normally ordered something
(25:52):
different. And why do I always look at the fucking menu like it's changed. And I'm just
like yeah I'm just going to get the trio. I don't know why fucking look at it every fucking
time. It hasn't changed. Yeah. They have other foods but I was just like yeah I'm getting
the trio. I always get the ribs. Yeah. My daughter wanted to get the ribs and I'm like
(26:18):
she's like did you ever get the ribs. I'm like I got them once and they were messy and
I had fucking shit between my teeth and I'm like never again. And I'm like if I eat ribs
it has to be at home. I can't do that in public. I can't return to me. I motherfucking carry
dental floss in my purse at all times. Oh that's smart. Well yeah I guess. Just like
(26:41):
the shit out of my teeth. Right. I was just like oh this is never never again lesson learned.
Yeah. Well I'm glad she had a decent birthday. Did she go in parlay. She went to Coachella
last weekend. I thought she was no longer doing it. Yeah she wasn't but she's like my
(27:01):
only stipulation was no doubt no Dutch. I she only went one day. She didn't go for the
entire weekend. So she went on Saturday night which was the night no doubt was there. How
did that. She said it was good. Yeah you know what. Dev Tones was there and I'm like Dev
Tones is all over the place now they're they're going to have a new album. So I'm like oh I
fucking love Dev Tones. Yeah but they're back. Like yeah they were on Coachella. They did
(27:25):
like an early set like 645 p.m. but still the fact that they were there. Yeah. Wow.
That's what I said. And Chino Moreno lost some fucking weight because he was fat for
a little bit. I'm like I don't know if he did ozampa. He looks like he did that but
I'm like I don't give a fuck. We got the old Chino back. Shit. Nice. Huh. And did I send
(27:51):
you the meme that I from Instagram where it said I think it was I would call it a meme
that the girl went into it was just a it was writing it. So the girl went into I guess
she picked up or she went on a date from Tumblr. He she gets in his car and she and he says
(28:11):
you can play any of my playlists. So one of the playlists is called sexy time and so
sexy time and she's like yeah it was nine hours of Dev Tone music. She's like we're
going she's like we're going out again tomorrow night. I'm like that's my bitch.
She must be all like us because no younger people like the Dev Tones. Yeah no they're
(28:34):
like the Dev what. Right exactly like what you're talking about. Yeah. Oh my gosh that's
a big thing. Every time I ask anybody just anybody just if I if you are going to be my
friend a partner or just like what can I be like who's your favorite I didn't know. I
(28:56):
didn't know because if you just say you know I don't know they like Sir Mix a lot or some
shit we just like oh shit like right. We're all over the place right but like I've never
I was telling my coworker when I used to work in a Zeeza and she's 24. She was 24 and she
fucking loved the Dev Tones. I'm like I told her I'm like I have never known a person that
(29:18):
says that they love the Dev Tones to have ill intent or be a bad person so. So welcome
to the club. So I'm like I induct you into the hall of I love you. Just wait if you ever
need a jump start you can call me. I'll probably go out of my way to help you out. There you
(29:40):
go. Just because you said you love the Dev Tones. Yes. We're so shitty. Yeah we're so loving.
We got to stay true to our people. Our little sheeples. So what did you do last night? So
(30:05):
you were out partying. I was having good times. Last night I was just home. Oh I thought you
went out the way you were talking. Oh maybe out to sleep. Like I got knocked out. Like
I'm out. Going to bed. I lids shut. Got it. Okay. Yeah no I didn't go out. Oh shit. I
(30:31):
hate people and I don't really want to drive. There you go. Just stay home. Just stay home.
It's like I'm such a fun fucking person to be around. Just swear. Part of it doesn't
start until Pomona pull it's enters the room. There you go. Of course. Let me illuminate
this light. Walk into this potty. Okay. Hello. Yeah I'm too old for that shit. I don't know.
(31:00):
I'm like you can pick me up. No I don't even ask people to pick me up. You want to go out
and like Uber. If I go anywhere yeah it's either I'll Uber or drive my goddamn self.
So that way I can leave when I want to fucking leave. Shit this week I think it was Thursday
because me and my daughter both work from home and my mom she had a dentist appointment
and she's like oh I'm going to leave at 10 so I'm like okay. And I didn't realize I thought
(31:24):
my brother was going to take her just the way she said it but she's like I'm like what
are you doing. She's like I'm having Uber pick me up. I'm like oh my gosh she actually
knows how to order an Uber. Like what the fuck is going on. She Ubered back because
I'm like we were both on calls me and my daughter were doing our thing so otherwise we would
have taken her. But I was just like okay well I'm like keep I sent a prayer but I'm like
(31:45):
please keep my mom safe. Pitch is 82. You check your Uber account and it's like charged
to yours. I don't know what happened. I'm assuming she ordered it on her phone. I didn't ask
my daughter if she ordered it. So I don't know but shit that's amazing. Yeah that's
what I said. I'm just like okay mom. Get down with yourself. I think she's 82. Is my mom
(32:10):
82 or 84. I don't even what how old am I. I'm 50. Oh she's 82. Wow. Yeah impressive.
Yeah right impressive. Impressive. I don't think I would be able to order an Uber. You
know what I think if I even live to be 82. I don't have this conversation. I'm gonna
be done by 80 like just call it a day. Yeah my mind will be gone. I'm pretty sure I'm
(32:33):
gonna be one of those with Alzheimer's and shit. But you're gonna be rocking them hoops
your son gave you. Yeah I sure will with some saggy ass ear lobes. I love you. Shit. I
don't know. I still be wearing fucking hoodies. That's right bitch. I'm cold. The way to do
(33:01):
it. Yeah. Oh shit. So I saw a commercial when I was at the gym this morning about Kellogg's
corn flakes and I'm like they still fucking make this shit. And I'm like is there even
corn and corn flakes because you know everything's fucking whatever you want to call it now.
Yeah. Whatever. I had to actually look it up. The first ingredient is mold corn. I'm
(33:23):
like okay well at least we got that. Whoa. How is this like that shocking. Like with
that rooster. Yeah it was with the rooster. I'm like wow people still eat this shit. Okay.
But like you said the second ingredient was sugar. Must add sugar. Kids don't need it.
(33:45):
Right. And corn flakes are fucking boring as fuck. You still need to add like a shit
ton of sugar to it. Yeah or like banana or like some fruit or some shit. I don't know.
Just throw it down the drain. It's fucking nasty. I know. Well you know what it makes
good chicken like fried chicken. Oh yeah the coating or whatever. Yeah that's the only
my mom. My mom used to do shake and bake all the time and I fucking love that shit. I love
(34:08):
shaking bake too. I wonder if they still they probably still they do. I have some in my pantry.
Okay. Nice. Shake and bake Ricky Bobby. Yes. I remember they used to have like the spicy
one. That's the one I liked. You know I like the barbecue one. Have you tried that one.
No I've never had that one. It's pretty good. Okay good to know. You know what's another
(34:31):
thing that I used to do when I was in my keto phase or if I need to lose weight I would
like crunch up or I guess crunch up break up. I don't know like the hot and spicy teacher
on is and use that for coding. Really. Yeah but it would like it wouldn't it would stick
to the chicken but it would be like it wouldn't stay crunchy like the way shaken bake does
(34:52):
that make sense. Yeah. I guess if you mix it with any liquid or whatever it would just
like whatever. So yeah stay stay with taken steak and bake. I like to get big. I did
try there was like a ranch one. Was that good. No. Well no I didn't I didn't like I didn't
(35:14):
care for it. Okay. I was like the way you said it I'm like it doesn't sound good. Yeah
I just ruined I just ruined like the chicken. Yeah ruin my chicken. Well actually I left
the skin on the chicken so I just try to peel off the skin with the shake and bake shake
and bake. Got it. I like shaking bake. Yes. I don't have to pick that up the next time
(35:36):
I go to the grocery store because I have I totally forgot about that until now. Yeah
I won't even when it comes to ranch I don't really eat ranch too much but if I do make
sometimes I'll do chicken salad I'll get chicken breast grill that up and put all kinds
of shit in the salad and then I'll do ranch and I won't use hidden I can't do hidden
(35:59):
valley or God knows I always have a yeah no packet. I get the oh I'm thinking salad dressing
but the packets oh I've never done the packets that way I've never actually done like I guess
ranch chicken like that. I've never done ranch chicken. Yeah I'm not talking about the chicken
I'm just saying the ranch dressing I'll do the dressing. Oh yeah it's like one cup of
(36:21):
beer so it's good it tastes better that way. Fuck yes it is so good if you've ever been
to like red Robin and you're like the best ranch ever it's like that it's freaking delicious.
I might have to try that because I know I just by the I like the ranch dressings that are
refrigerated in the refrigerated section those are always legit and they're not full full
(36:43):
of fake shit I guess like hidden valley ranch because it's ranch dressing and shouldn't
be on the on the counter I know it's all in the refrigerator section hello it's all room
temperature yeah no that's not real yeah what the fuck's in that the fucking mayo but me
fucking spoiled right oh no yeah I get like a mason jar and I'll mix up the it calls for
(37:10):
a couple of what ingredients do you have to put in that besides the packet it's the packet
mayo and milk oh okay that sounds like it would be real I'm gonna have to try that then
and I'm not even a ranch person but that sounds really good because with the milk and everything
okay I'll try that yep it's delicious it's delicious I don't know like I yeah I'm not
(37:33):
a big ranch person either but same if I had to have ranch it's gonna be that way that way yeah
yep oh god well I just stood up inside my body aches oh my gosh I'm getting old are you in your room
yeah okay I said you're in bed I was like are you downstairs or are you now usually when I record
(37:57):
him just like uh I alert my children I'm gonna be recording don't not a little bit yeah there you go no
interruptions please I know I asked you this already and I forgot I'm sorry your son's gonna be a
(38:18):
freshman this year or in September yep oh shit he's almost gonna be gone I know you go son
I know I'm so excited I'm it's like that you know happy it's the I don't know I think I'm out
do the eighth graders I guess have graduation then like they do down here do they have graduation
(38:41):
up there I assume uh they do but it's super small it's just kind of like in the gym and
get their little certificate and okay that's it cool yeah look how's his karate going good
real good he's doing very well um he has I was gonna ask if he advanced I don't know how long it
(39:03):
takes to get to the next belt or whatever um usually it's three months and okay so now he's blue belt
but when I asked him what's the next rank or the next color whatever he said that um he has to get
a few stripes before he goes so yeah okay yeah I don't really know it's it's different than the karate
(39:26):
belts because it's like jiu-jitsu mixed martial arts types oh okay I thought he was doing karate
okay well it's like karate jiu-jitsu and I'm it's like a mixed martial it's like three different
techniques or styles in one so it's like a mixed martial art I don't know how long has he been
doing it for oh shit probably like um going on two years okay yeah yeah he and any and he suddenly
(39:57):
always tries to give me hints that you know you work a lot and I know you're tired I don't have
like I know he doesn't right I know yeah well at least you make him at least at least he still does
it because I would have been like I would have found some way to not go well I gave him an option
I said if you're not gonna go if you don't want to do karate or this mixed martial art stuff like
(40:22):
give me another extra curricular activity that you would like to do because I just can't have him
that's what you're so good at that no but no pairs do that anymore
yeah I know so I did you do that with um your daughter yes yes what was her extra
(40:43):
curricular activity so at first I put her uh she was um playing the flute
okay for a while and she was good at it she enjoyed it man she maybe oh shit maybe not
like six months but I tried to make the experience for her she was she was the one that brought it
up to me uh and she's a letty so I bought a left-handed flute I I made it I got it purple I engraved
(41:12):
her name on it just try to how old was she uh eight okay eight I think yeah so she went about
maybe six months and nah not for me I was like what about this 600 fucking dollar flute
oh I got something I could I can't even tell it it has your name engraved right
(41:36):
I was like fuck it I'll learn how to play the flute left-handed
on the corner of Kingsley yeah I'm fucking make some extra cash there you go but she yeah so she
did the flute for a little bit and then um well she did uh tracked she did tracks for a little bit
(42:00):
and then she she that wasn't she yeah she didn't really care for it then she was in choir
oh I can see her excelling in that yeah I know she was like like yeah like yeah and then she just
decided to do more of the theater she went into theater because I was always trying to get her
to do sports but thank god bless her soul because I hate doing the whole I need new cleats or
(42:25):
oh yeah and sports gear and everything yeah and then it's my week to bring the snacks and
right I'm so damn tired like I don't uh it was like she's never gonna no either neither of my
children would ever advance because I don't make them practice like just practice after school go
(42:47):
to the games and I don't do it yeah I don't continue to push them to practice to be the best because
I work if they wanted to well if they wanted to or if they wanted I guess more of it they would
have done it on their own anyway so right and the fact that you had him doing something is good
yeah yeah so with her theater yeah she did that so she found something that was an after
(43:13):
school something like an extracurricular activity something she wanted to do and she
dived into it and I never bothered her to get out of the house or do something and yeah
yeah so my son is more of like I guess let's go karate but he's doing well so yeah that's good
(43:35):
he doesn't like it I think he's just doing it to like pacify me and not like bark at him
I had M try um when she was probably in first grade I had her try karate for like a class like
was the free trial period and she's like not for me I'm like okay fine um and then it was it was
(44:00):
called cheerleading but it wasn't cheer but um so she would be like in her cheer a cheer uniform
but she did all the parades locally does that make sense like they would do all the marching and
all that I guess what their pom poms yeah yeah I don't know what it's called but I called it cheer
even though it wasn't cheer but she did that for at least five years four or five years
that was about it so no instruments no she did tennis um in her in high school that was about it
(44:30):
was she good I guess I never went to any of her fucking matches she come on with that
trophy or or or participation trophies she got a part I guess she got the most improved one for
her senior year whatever the second or third year that she played because I guess um she wasn't
I don't know is it called first I don't even know if it's called first string for um I'm talking
(44:52):
football terms I don't know it's first string for um whatever I don't think she was first string but
maybe by the end she was I guess I don't know I'm not really involved obviously you can tell
that's why I only have one kid and I got my tubes tied never again there you go there you go
(45:14):
so try yeah that's insane well that's good show that's cool like I don't know my kids like
does you know how to ride a bike yes okay how old was she when you taught her or when she you know
what I don't even know I didn't teach her huh I don't know she had like my brother got her um a bike
(45:41):
and obviously with the training wheels I want to say that she was probably like
spyre six I don't know she was young what about your kids um yeah they ride bikes I but I taught
them both and I remember teaching them both in a parking lot yeah I don't remember teaching her
(46:02):
but I mean she had the training wheels on and obviously she knows how to ride a bike so
oh cool I don't know I guess pat on the back to the training wheels not me she was riding her
little bike and then all of a sudden one training wheel fell off and she just kept going total
fucking Adam Sambler movie I've seen some kids riding their bikes with training wheels and the
(46:27):
training wheels are not even touching the fucking floor the ground right they're just going to fight
man safety support I guess or whatever you want to call it your parents must be fucking like drunk
at home or some shit because like get those motherfucking training wheels off you don't even need them
oh good it's a safety net for them yeah security blanket yeah because back then I guess they
(46:52):
have to wear helmets right so like I fucking refuse to wear a helmet when I ride a bike
I'm not going yeah I don't either is it the right to there um I want to say it probably is for the
kids or at least back in the day but I don't know about now freaking adults so um speaking of banning
(47:15):
shit I was on Twitter right before I logged on and I guess um Joe Biden is I don't know if he did
or he's about to ban menthol cigarettes and the fucking tweets are so hilarious from one of both
what the first one said oh so I guess he's cast I'm not castrating he's out casting or he's blocking
(47:36):
all the black voters from voting for him I'm like nobody's gonna vote for him period who the fuckers
like got two feet in the grave already just die shit I will send you the tweet yes because he's in
uh obviously it's not him but he's got cornrows and he's got um Newport news um you know the
(48:03):
you know what the brand looks like or the box looks like yes this this guy or whatever the
photoshop the guy has the jogger suit of the menthol or the Newport news oh my god it's
fucking great oh my gosh Newport's are still around that's crazy that's what I said I'm like
people still smoke fucking menthols yeah like cool's and Newport's send a tweet right now I'm
(48:31):
gonna send a tweet yeah it's just ridiculous I'm just like this is fucking party town
shit there it comes let's see
and um for the listeners I will put the if I remember I'm gonna remember I will put the tweet
(48:53):
link into the show notes just because it's straight ridiculous I want that get up right
stand in front of a liquor store no loitering I'm not
(49:19):
crazy oh shit all right pomeon of all I think we should call today we're rounding up on an hour
pretty soon oh right I can't believe we actually pulled that one off okay okay I know right
oh shit all right well do you have any parting words I do not I just hey everybody just hang on
(49:41):
it's May's coming up sync OJ my oh and may the fourth be with you that may oh sync up to my
house next weekend right yeah yeah fuck well okay and um yeah I guess I'm gonna probably pour some
vodka here I'm gonna have vodka all week so maybe I'll just have some vodka and I guess if you
(50:02):
guys are gonna drink tonight watch some basketball and drink up I don't know yeah have a good week
yes all right we are all right please
Clean, clean, drink, drink. You are Pomona Bullets and I am Baruch Medusa and this is Top
(00:15):
Shelf Hi Jinks. Let us begin.
Good afternoon Bestie. Good evening I guess. Good early evening Bestie. Shit. Right. We
are getting old. That is right. I am not happy hours. What is it called when the seniors
(00:41):
go out to Denny's dinner and it is really early. Oh. Is that called sunrise or what
is it? I don't know. I don't know either. I never attended such an event. What is going
on? Nothing much. You know what? I was thinking. Remember back in the day we were just kind
(01:10):
of like exploring things as far as vision boards and stuff like that. Yeah. Okay. Remember
you were doing like I think it was like numerology or something. I think I was reading up on
that when Madonna was into it. I am like what the fuck is this shit? Let me read into
it. Yeah. We were trying to figure out what it was because I guess it was all that whole
(01:35):
thing where people were like it is 1111 and 1111 and oh yeah. If you see that and I think
they mean like trying to make like a scary movie about it or some shit. I don't know.
But yeah. Like did you ever do your name? Or it is like you calculate the number of
(01:56):
your name and it is supposed to give you some type of like. No. Oh shit. What is it called?
It is not numerology. Well it is. Well it is a part of it I guess. I don't know. I did
not know that. Yeah. So I found this like you can find your you can like enter your
(02:16):
name and you get your number or whatever but I was like okay but I don't know like what
does it mean? So yeah. I don't know. Did you do it? Actually I just pulled up the site
and I was like oh shit. Maybe I should do it. So I put my name in there and it is like
I guess my number is like 25. Okay. I was going to put your name and see what your number
(02:40):
is but then again I don't know what the hell that is supposed to mean. Well what is my
number? I am curious. I am just telling you what my number is. I am going to go there.
I am getting it. Alright. Let's see. Yours is. Okay. Of course there is a bunch of fucking
ads on this shit. Right. And they are all pop up. Okay. Pop ups later. Yep. Let's see.
(03:09):
You are. You are doing my birth name I am assuming. My government name. Yep. Doing
your government issue name. Got it. Oh shit. You are a 10. Okay. I am a 25. Right. Let's
see. It says that. Oh so I guess break it down. So the one. The one is the sun. Means
(03:36):
leader independent creative. You are influenced by the qualities of planet sun. Well I am
a sun worshipper and that's for damn sure. There you go. You are firmly determined. Brave.
You have leadership qualities. You are original thinker. You have the qualities to control
(03:57):
everything around you. Sometimes you become stubborn and angry when things don't happen
according to your desires. Every fucking day. Right. I am a 10. Yeah. You are a fucking
10. I am a 10. Yep. And what about 25. Oh shit. Let's see. Let me go back to that.
(04:19):
Okay. Well that's just what one means. I don't know what the zero means. Let's see. Wait.
Hold on. Before I do that. Let's see what zero means. There's I mean there's a plethora
of other stuff that says that. Where's your zero. Zero even freaking mean anything. I
don't think I'm right. I can't tell everything out. I don't see a zero anywhere. Okay. Hold
(04:45):
up. Let's let's keep going. Okay. Two. One. Sheesh. I don't see a zero. Well at least
on this site I don't see anything about zero. Okay. So 25 I guess I'll just begin with two.
Let's see. Freaking crazy. Okay. My my I have so many phones like I told you I feel like
(05:11):
I'm some type of drug dealer or something. Right. I'm like you know let me just let me
have too many. Yeah. I hate my phone. I am not the one that just keeps it strapped to
me like a little leash. Right. Right. Yeah. So many people. Why didn't you answer it.
Well maybe because I freaking didn't want to. Right. I saw your name pop up and I'm like
(05:34):
I'm going to hard pass. Yeah. Okay. What the hell does to okay to describe your inner potentials
and their likes dislikes. Okay. Whatever. I don't know how come mine doesn't freaking
out. Of course mine has to be so high. Huh. What's the five. The five. Let me look for
(05:59):
five. I just keep saying like how to calculate and what to do. I don't know how come yours
gave such direct answers. You're going to send me the web link when you can and then
I'll put it in the show notes in case anybody else wants to I guess compute their name.
Oh for sure. Huh. I've never heard of that. So interesting.
(06:21):
Yeah. It is. I mean I guess it's somewhat like horoscopes. I mean I know both of us
aren't truly like we live our life according to horoscope says but it's kind of interesting
to just see. Yeah. To see what they say and see if it matches up with our how we are.
(06:42):
Yeah. I do believe in Torres. Yeah. Totally Torres. Oh to the listeners it was Pomona
Bullets birthday this past Wednesday. So happy belated birthday. I mean I told you happy
birthday on your birthday but the listeners just say happy birthday to Pomona Bullets.
Yay. This rock star. Yes. I'll take all I can get. Did your co-workers throw you a party
(07:06):
since they're always big on fucking birthdays or I don't know how that works. No. They didn't.
The funny thing is is hey boss she's like barking orders at me the day of and I'm listening
and I'm like OK. Yep. And I said sure I said do you think maybe I could leave a little
bit early today since it's my birthday. Let me drop that on you. Yeah. Not that it's
(07:32):
a big deal but she's like oh shit bitch it's your birthday. Why did you tell me. OK one
I am not that one. I'm not either. I used to be but not anymore. Yeah. Shit. I ain't
trying to celebrate. I am one step closer to my grave like no. Celebrating that shit.
(07:52):
I'm not going to go wearing my birthday banner. Yeah. Yeah. I was like yeah I'm not that one
that wants all that attention like my birthday tomorrow. It's my birthday tomorrow. No I
don't do that. I do know many people that do and it makes me not even want to even say
happy birthday. Right. Shut up. But yeah no nothing. And then they did one of those shit.
(08:17):
It's her birthday. Somebody go run and grab her a card that we can all sign and so it
was one of those. It was OK because I don't want to celebrate my birthday with them anyways.
Right. OK well at least you're able to leave early. Yeah like 30 minutes early. 30 minutes.
(08:42):
Wow. But I'll take what I can get. My son bought me a gift and it was OK. Super cute
and I opened it up and guess what it was. New hoops. OK. I'm like Bob Marley. No. Yeah.
I got new hoops and they're actually bigger than the ones I have. So. There you go. Got
(09:06):
some door knock. To Jesus. Got some door knockers. Saintly. That's right bitch. Bring back the
90s. There you go. And then. How cute is that. But I did get a another gift and actually
it was Bob Marley. It was a beautiful picture. It's like a canvas. Pretty big. Oh OK. Yeah
(09:28):
it's pretty awesome. And then it says you never know how strong you are until being
strong is your only choice. Well that's what you are the last few months bitch. I know.
I was like preach it Bob. I'm going to hang right above my fucking bed. You're like bless
me sir. Rasta far right. That's right. Yeah. I don't know. OK so did you see the Instagram
(09:57):
I sent you of the person that was tattooing a handbag. Yeah. Have you ever done that.
I'm like that would be so cool to do. No. You know I used to do that to the plastic
cups like plastic cups. OK. Well you need to start doing it on handbags. You could sell
those bitches real fucking quick and then you wouldn't have to deal with anybody's like
(10:18):
oh can you put a hummingbird on my fucking foot. Yeah. No shit. If I didn't have to touch
anybody ever again. That would be great. That would be great. Like please no. I don't know.
I just I can't take it. And the biggest caveat for me that really maybe say yeah you know
(10:41):
maybe tattooing isn't really for me is that I hate fucking cry babies. Why do people feel
like they can I want to tattoo. You think it's not going to hurt. Thank you very much.
And they can't breathe and you see all their fucking blood just going to their head and
they turn red like a beat and they keep out. Yeah. And you wonder why your tattoo is like
(11:06):
shit because you're fucking shaking like a leaf in the wind. Exactly. Fucking calm down.
But you said I couldn't drink. Well yeah because I don't want you to bleed all over
the fucking place. Right. You look like you need iron one. You need some thick blood up
in this. Yeah. Exactly. Shit. I don't know. So I didn't of course I muscled through those
(11:32):
type of appointments but right. It was just always so freaking irritating. And I think
like my whole creative like light was just would just dim by the moment because of the
other energy. Yeah. Totally understandable. That's why I stop personal training. I'm like
well if you don't want to do my regimen then you can go just be fat. Yeah. Yeah. It's
(11:55):
a ding dong. You fucking sorry. I have a certain way of training and just have you have a certain
way of tattooing and it's just like you got to put the work in. Yeah. So I'm like super
selective. I hate it when someone's like can can you do a tattoo on me this that. Um sure.
Yep. I'll just what do you want. What is it. Where at. Let me drop a brick on your
(12:21):
foot. Test it out. How did that feel. Here. Catch the start. Even better. So did you
do. Did you. I know last week you said that you were going to draw out or I don't know
if you talked to the guy the paw print. Oh yeah. Yeah. I got. Yeah. His doggy that passed
(12:42):
away of 14 years. Yep. No I have it all set up and. Oh cool. Yeah. I know. I just got
to wait for some materials to get come in and get delivered. Okay. Yeah. So that. Well
good. I'm glad to hear. Yeah. But yeah. I really want to check out that purse. I was
watching that video that you sent me and I was I almost thought it was one of those
(13:07):
um heat type guns for you or like a scriber or you can spend on metal. I have. Yeah.
I don't know what I just assumed it was a regular tattoo gun but I'm like so I'm sorry
Pomona bullets will be able to figure this out. Yeah. I'm like it is a tack it is a
tattoo machine because I see the little grip on it that was taped around it. I'm like right
(13:29):
it's a tattoo machine. So shit that would be freaking nice. And what is that. Okay.
So now that you say the tape the tape the grip tape or whatever why is it like that
because all tattoo people have that. Yeah. It's just easier to handle them or yeah because
well obviously your your hands get a little clammy at times. Oh that makes sense. Okay.
(13:52):
So you just kind of want to grip. So right. Make fine lines and not all shaky or you know
got it. Yeah. Forgive me. I'm sorry. You are forgiven my child. So sorry. Did you get
your car wash. Oh my god. Yes. Mike I haven't had a car wash in like maybe months like maybe
(14:13):
three or four months because it keeps raining off and on and I'm like I don't think it's
going to rain anymore. And then my next door neighbor they're getting a brand new roof.
And so me and M's cars were in the driveway and they they ripped all the like the old
roof off right and all this shit just came crashing not crashing down but like all sprayed
my my car and my daughter's car and I'm just like okay well I'm parking on the street till
(14:36):
this is fucking over but I had so much fucking shit on my fucking car I finally got it washed
and I'm thank God. Well I gave you a better or a reason. Yeah. So it's been washed. Thank
God and I think I'm just going to start going Sunday afternoons because there was nobody
there. I was in and out in 30 minutes. I'm like why do I go when they first open because
(14:59):
that's when everybody's there. Yeah. Whatever. I just finally learned. Is it when were they
like wash your car and then vacuum it for you. Yeah vacuum and then wipe it down and
all that. Yeah. You get to pick a free air freshener. Yeah. You know what I did and I'm
like you know let me try black ice because I've never smelled it. I don't know. It is
(15:19):
the duchiest fucking. It smells like a fucking tools fucking cologne. Yes. But yeah it's
just like Dracor nor nor Harvey said nor on crack and I'm like wow okay this is cool
never again should have went with cherry or vanilla. Black ice. That's why I don't know
(15:45):
why I just I'm like yeah just give me black ice. It's like a cheap ass cologne. I'm like
fuck this shit. I can taste it in my mouth. It's gross. I'm surprised it's not all up
in my pores. It was really strong. Well you know you're not supposed to remove the bag
completely from those little trees. Oh no it's not a tree. They sprayed it. Oh oh shit.
(16:09):
So it's even worse. So it's like legit cologne. Oh no they spray like your the mats. Yeah
right. Okay well here we are at least my car is clean. Yeah at least you can see out your
windshield now. Thank God. It was just all smearing even when you know you turn your
windshield wipers on with the water to wash it. It was just smearing everywhere. I'm like
(16:33):
I guess I really need a car wash. So what happened you're not doing the detailer anymore.
No I never did it and then I'm like if he comes over my mom's just gonna ask way too
many questions and she'll get in my business and I don't have time for this shit. It will
just set me off. That's all you need to know. Like I'm not having one of those episodes.
(16:58):
Do people often tell you why are you so angry or are you do they ever come up to you or
like. No they haven't they used to say that to me all the time to monobulls but not anymore
but like every now and then like mom will set me off. My daughter's like you just need
to let it go. I'm like oh I'm gonna get cancer. Yeah I'm holding this shit in. Exactly.
(17:24):
I take mine out on the streets. I mean that's why I go to the gym. You're at the gym for
two and a half hours. Yeah I'm getting away from you. I release my anger out. I don't
follow people or honk my horn anymore. I don't. I use my horn like yeah I use my mouth.
Girl and I used to do my I used to flash my brights all the way. Oh my God especially
(17:51):
on the freeway when I would tailgate people I'm like get the fuck out of the fast lane
bitch. What you're doing the same and I like lose it like three feet from your right exactly
and I'm like and then like now when people do that to me I was just like don't have me
slam on my brakes bitch because I will fucking do that. I will tap my tap the brakes so you
(18:11):
can see that the lights come on. Yeah. And we can't believe I used to be that much of
an asshole. I'm just a bitch. Yeah I'm a tired bitch. I don't even honk. I don't even honk.
Do not invade my personal space please and thank you. Yes. If you want me to remain nice.
Exactly. I don't even yeah I just I'm just a crazy woman in my car and I'm just like
(18:34):
you fucking idiot. I usually just like slam my hands on my steering wheel and I'll just
I hope they're looking at me in their rear view. I don't even flip them off anymore. I
just go what the fuck like I just do like go. I can actually see you flipping people.
(18:54):
I do. Yeah I do. And I'm in tears over you. I used to honk the fucking lights green go
but would you be the type of person that you would just like lay on the horn and like
for a good minute because I was like I'm just like they start driving and I'm like I'm
(19:15):
still going to be on my fucking horn bitch. Yeah. You packed me up and I'll beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep. Right. Get the fuck out of my way. You know what I just sometimes I
just want to like carry a sack of oranges and just like throw an orange at them or you
know like some really really really ripe oranges that will just splatter once they hit. Right.
(19:40):
And they're really heavy. Yeah. Maybe maybe a ripe grapefruit. I can see that. Maybe like
Medusa my shoulder hurts again. Why. I trucked a grapefruit out the window while I was driving.
I mean it's better than I used to chuck water bottles and shit like. Oh my God my uncle he's
(20:05):
no longer alive. He died like a couple years ago. He was I want to say he was 80 but like
growing up in New Jersey he would he would have rocks underneath his fucking seat and
he would throw him out the window at people if they pissed him off. No. Yes. And I was
just like how is this motherfucker never been arrested for assault or vandalism. I don't
(20:29):
even know what it was like shit man. He would just like open his window and fucking and
I never witnessed it. My brother asked. I was just like this guy is so fucking retarded.
Like what the fuck rocks. Were they like rock girl. I don't know. Just big enough that he
and he this motherfucker was all of five one obviously short man. He got a little man syndrome.
(20:55):
Three. Yeah. I was just like oh my God. I'm so glad that was not my dad because I'd have
been like you know what I'm going to have to sever ties with you real fucking quick
bro. I've never thrown a rock at a car. Right. I did that I would have been arrested. Yeah
(21:17):
of course I would have been caught. I would have been caught and caught and caught and
caught and straight straight to the cell. Same. Oh hell no. I don't know. That's insane.
So you didn't honk. You don't honk. Every now and then I do if we're out of stoplight
(21:40):
and you know like it turns green and obviously you know the person's on their fucking phone
right because I'm like I'm still fucking sitting here bitch. Let's go. Right. Then I honk.
So do you wait like a three. I give it a rule. Yeah I don't count it but I was just like
you can you know you can just tell her like get off your fucking phone and drive. Yeah.
(22:00):
Yeah. I do the same. He's just kind of but you know what I don't even get angry anymore
if I'm trying to like hurry up and get something out of my purse like let's just say it's a
light. I'm trying to get chapstick out of my purse and the light turns green. I don't
realize it and someone honks. I used to get fucking heated. I was I was like one over
(22:23):
you want to fuck. Oh I can totally see you doing that after now that I got I've gotten
to know you a lot. I'm doing the podcast. I'm like not today. Not today. But yeah now
I'm just like oh like I'm like the old day like oh thank you sorry like let me go. I'm
(22:45):
just kidding my chapstick. That's it. You know I was just going to say I'm like I'm I'm
moistening my lips because I'm about to go down on your husband. Shut the fuck up and
you know show up an hour later. Okay. Well bitch my work in bitch if you're driving your
(23:06):
other car you have to go right over me. You have your fucking broom your motherfucking
witch. Does your broom have a horn you fucking witch. Right. I know. Go play Quidditch with
Harry Potter. Oh my gosh. It's so funny. I even oh gosh I hate when people don't know
(23:33):
a four way stop. How the fuck do you have your license. I don't know. Oh that's right.
You don't even own a signature. You don't even know Christmas. What. Why would I expect
you to know how to. Yeah. I expect you to know how to use a four way stop. Fucking hate
that. I hate that. And of course they wouldn't know how to drive manual. Of course not.
(23:59):
Exactly. My daughter doesn't know how I offered her to teach her how to drive manual before
I got rid of my rid of my Dodge Neon back in 2013. And she's like no. And then I fucking
get my Chevy Sonic right. And of course it's manual and like a month later she's like I
think I'm ready to learn now. I'm like you're not learning how to drive stick on a brand
(24:21):
new fucking car. Are you fucking crazy. Like what the fuck. And that was the end of the
conversation. I will never teach you. Not on a brand new car. Yeah. Yeah. Tell her to
go rent a car. Right. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So when does your son get out of school. I
(24:46):
think I asked you this probably mid June. Yeah. Mid June. Okay. Yep. Yeah. My youngest
nephew is graduating this year. Shut the front door. That's what I said. I'm like go ahead.
Wow. Is the oldest nephew college founder. He's 20. Shit. How old is that motherfucker.
(25:07):
He's 26. Now he moved to Chicago. I thought I told you that his girlfriend lives in Chicago.
He moved out there like a year and I want to say it's going to be two years. I think
it'll be two years or maybe two years. No. I think it'll be two years in August. What
is he married engaged. No. They're just living together. Boyfriend girlfriend. Good. Good.
(25:30):
Yeah. Whoa. That's that's where does the time go. Geez. I know. And I'm turned 32 last
week. Last Friday. Not this past Friday but last Friday. We finally did Chili's yesterday.
Oh. And every time we fucking go to Chili's I always order the same thing. It's the fajita
trio. Right. And she ordered whatever the fuck she ordered. She normally ordered something
(25:52):
different. And why do I always look at the fucking menu like it's changed. And I'm just
like yeah I'm just going to get the trio. I don't know why fucking look at it every fucking
time. It hasn't changed. Yeah. They have other foods but I was just like yeah I'm getting
the trio. I always get the ribs. Yeah. My daughter wanted to get the ribs and I'm like
(26:18):
she's like did you ever get the ribs. I'm like I got them once and they were messy and
I had fucking shit between my teeth and I'm like never again. And I'm like if I eat ribs
it has to be at home. I can't do that in public. I can't return to me. I motherfucking carry
dental floss in my purse at all times. Oh that's smart. Well yeah I guess. Just like
(26:41):
the shit out of my teeth. Right. I was just like oh this is never never again lesson learned.
Yeah. Well I'm glad she had a decent birthday. Did she go in parlay. She went to Coachella
last weekend. I thought she was no longer doing it. Yeah she wasn't but she's like my
(27:01):
only stipulation was no doubt no Dutch. I she only went one day. She didn't go for the
entire weekend. So she went on Saturday night which was the night no doubt was there. How
did that. She said it was good. Yeah you know what. Dev Tones was there and I'm like Dev
Tones is all over the place now they're they're going to have a new album. So I'm like oh I
fucking love Dev Tones. Yeah but they're back. Like yeah they were on Coachella. They did
(27:25):
like an early set like 645 p.m. but still the fact that they were there. Yeah. Wow.
That's what I said. And Chino Moreno lost some fucking weight because he was fat for
a little bit. I'm like I don't know if he did ozampa. He looks like he did that but
I'm like I don't give a fuck. We got the old Chino back. Shit. Nice. Huh. And did I send
(27:51):
you the meme that I from Instagram where it said I think it was I would call it a meme
that the girl went into it was just a it was writing it. So the girl went into I guess
she picked up or she went on a date from Tumblr. He she gets in his car and she and he says
(28:11):
you can play any of my playlists. So one of the playlists is called sexy time and so
sexy time and she's like yeah it was nine hours of Dev Tone music. She's like we're
going she's like we're going out again tomorrow night. I'm like that's my bitch.
She must be all like us because no younger people like the Dev Tones. Yeah no they're
(28:34):
like the Dev what. Right exactly like what you're talking about. Yeah. Oh my gosh that's
a big thing. Every time I ask anybody just anybody just if I if you are going to be my
friend a partner or just like what can I be like who's your favorite I didn't know. I
(28:56):
didn't know because if you just say you know I don't know they like Sir Mix a lot or some
shit we just like oh shit like right. We're all over the place right but like I've never
I was telling my coworker when I used to work in a Zeeza and she's 24. She was 24 and she
fucking loved the Dev Tones. I'm like I told her I'm like I have never known a person that
(29:18):
says that they love the Dev Tones to have ill intent or be a bad person so. So welcome
to the club. So I'm like I induct you into the hall of I love you. Just wait if you ever
need a jump start you can call me. I'll probably go out of my way to help you out. There you
(29:40):
go. Just because you said you love the Dev Tones. Yes. We're so shitty. Yeah we're so loving.
We got to stay true to our people. Our little sheeples. So what did you do last night? So
(30:05):
you were out partying. I was having good times. Last night I was just home. Oh I thought you
went out the way you were talking. Oh maybe out to sleep. Like I got knocked out. Like
I'm out. Going to bed. I lids shut. Got it. Okay. Yeah no I didn't go out. Oh shit. I
(30:31):
hate people and I don't really want to drive. There you go. Just stay home. Just stay home.
It's like I'm such a fun fucking person to be around. Just swear. Part of it doesn't
start until Pomona pull it's enters the room. There you go. Of course. Let me illuminate
this light. Walk into this potty. Okay. Hello. Yeah I'm too old for that shit. I don't know.
(31:00):
I'm like you can pick me up. No I don't even ask people to pick me up. You want to go out
and like Uber. If I go anywhere yeah it's either I'll Uber or drive my goddamn self.
So that way I can leave when I want to fucking leave. Shit this week I think it was Thursday
because me and my daughter both work from home and my mom she had a dentist appointment
and she's like oh I'm going to leave at 10 so I'm like okay. And I didn't realize I thought
(31:24):
my brother was going to take her just the way she said it but she's like I'm like what
are you doing. She's like I'm having Uber pick me up. I'm like oh my gosh she actually
knows how to order an Uber. Like what the fuck is going on. She Ubered back because
I'm like we were both on calls me and my daughter were doing our thing so otherwise we would
have taken her. But I was just like okay well I'm like keep I sent a prayer but I'm like
(31:45):
please keep my mom safe. Pitch is 82. You check your Uber account and it's like charged
to yours. I don't know what happened. I'm assuming she ordered it on her phone. I didn't ask
my daughter if she ordered it. So I don't know but shit that's amazing. Yeah that's
what I said. I'm just like okay mom. Get down with yourself. I think she's 82. Is my mom
(32:10):
82 or 84. I don't even what how old am I. I'm 50. Oh she's 82. Wow. Yeah impressive.
Yeah right impressive. Impressive. I don't think I would be able to order an Uber. You
know what I think if I even live to be 82. I don't have this conversation. I'm gonna
be done by 80 like just call it a day. Yeah my mind will be gone. I'm pretty sure I'm
(32:33):
gonna be one of those with Alzheimer's and shit. But you're gonna be rocking them hoops
your son gave you. Yeah I sure will with some saggy ass ear lobes. I love you. Shit. I
don't know. I still be wearing fucking hoodies. That's right bitch. I'm cold. The way to do
(33:01):
it. Yeah. Oh shit. So I saw a commercial when I was at the gym this morning about Kellogg's
corn flakes and I'm like they still fucking make this shit. And I'm like is there even
corn and corn flakes because you know everything's fucking whatever you want to call it now.
Yeah. Whatever. I had to actually look it up. The first ingredient is mold corn. I'm
(33:23):
like okay well at least we got that. Whoa. How is this like that shocking. Like with
that rooster. Yeah it was with the rooster. I'm like wow people still eat this shit. Okay.
But like you said the second ingredient was sugar. Must add sugar. Kids don't need it.
(33:45):
Right. And corn flakes are fucking boring as fuck. You still need to add like a shit
ton of sugar to it. Yeah or like banana or like some fruit or some shit. I don't know.
Just throw it down the drain. It's fucking nasty. I know. Well you know what it makes
good chicken like fried chicken. Oh yeah the coating or whatever. Yeah that's the only
my mom. My mom used to do shake and bake all the time and I fucking love that shit. I love
(34:08):
shaking bake too. I wonder if they still they probably still they do. I have some in my pantry.
Okay. Nice. Shake and bake Ricky Bobby. Yes. I remember they used to have like the spicy
one. That's the one I liked. You know I like the barbecue one. Have you tried that one.
No I've never had that one. It's pretty good. Okay good to know. You know what's another
(34:31):
thing that I used to do when I was in my keto phase or if I need to lose weight I would
like crunch up or I guess crunch up break up. I don't know like the hot and spicy teacher
on is and use that for coding. Really. Yeah but it would like it wouldn't it would stick
to the chicken but it would be like it wouldn't stay crunchy like the way shaken bake does
(34:52):
that make sense. Yeah. I guess if you mix it with any liquid or whatever it would just
like whatever. So yeah stay stay with taken steak and bake. I like to get big. I did
try there was like a ranch one. Was that good. No. Well no I didn't I didn't like I didn't
(35:14):
care for it. Okay. I was like the way you said it I'm like it doesn't sound good. Yeah
I just ruined I just ruined like the chicken. Yeah ruin my chicken. Well actually I left
the skin on the chicken so I just try to peel off the skin with the shake and bake shake
and bake. Got it. I like shaking bake. Yes. I don't have to pick that up the next time
(35:36):
I go to the grocery store because I have I totally forgot about that until now. Yeah
I won't even when it comes to ranch I don't really eat ranch too much but if I do make
sometimes I'll do chicken salad I'll get chicken breast grill that up and put all kinds
of shit in the salad and then I'll do ranch and I won't use hidden I can't do hidden
(35:59):
valley or God knows I always have a yeah no packet. I get the oh I'm thinking salad dressing
but the packets oh I've never done the packets that way I've never actually done like I guess
ranch chicken like that. I've never done ranch chicken. Yeah I'm not talking about the chicken
I'm just saying the ranch dressing I'll do the dressing. Oh yeah it's like one cup of
(36:21):
beer so it's good it tastes better that way. Fuck yes it is so good if you've ever been
to like red Robin and you're like the best ranch ever it's like that it's freaking delicious.
I might have to try that because I know I just by the I like the ranch dressings that are
refrigerated in the refrigerated section those are always legit and they're not full full
(36:43):
of fake shit I guess like hidden valley ranch because it's ranch dressing and shouldn't
be on the on the counter I know it's all in the refrigerator section hello it's all room
temperature yeah no that's not real yeah what the fuck's in that the fucking mayo but me
fucking spoiled right oh no yeah I get like a mason jar and I'll mix up the it calls for
(37:10):
a couple of what ingredients do you have to put in that besides the packet it's the packet
mayo and milk oh okay that sounds like it would be real I'm gonna have to try that then
and I'm not even a ranch person but that sounds really good because with the milk and everything
okay I'll try that yep it's delicious it's delicious I don't know like I yeah I'm not
(37:33):
a big ranch person either but same if I had to have ranch it's gonna be that way that way yeah
yep oh god well I just stood up inside my body aches oh my gosh I'm getting old are you in your room
yeah okay I said you're in bed I was like are you downstairs or are you now usually when I record
(37:57):
him just like uh I alert my children I'm gonna be recording don't not a little bit yeah there you go no
interruptions please I know I asked you this already and I forgot I'm sorry your son's gonna be a
(38:18):
freshman this year or in September yep oh shit he's almost gonna be gone I know you go son
I know I'm so excited I'm it's like that you know happy it's the I don't know I think I'm out
do the eighth graders I guess have graduation then like they do down here do they have graduation
(38:41):
up there I assume uh they do but it's super small it's just kind of like in the gym and
get their little certificate and okay that's it cool yeah look how's his karate going good
real good he's doing very well um he has I was gonna ask if he advanced I don't know how long it
(39:03):
takes to get to the next belt or whatever um usually it's three months and okay so now he's blue belt
but when I asked him what's the next rank or the next color whatever he said that um he has to get
a few stripes before he goes so yeah okay yeah I don't really know it's it's different than the karate
(39:26):
belts because it's like jiu-jitsu mixed martial arts types oh okay I thought he was doing karate
okay well it's like karate jiu-jitsu and I'm it's like a mixed martial it's like three different
techniques or styles in one so it's like a mixed martial art I don't know how long has he been
doing it for oh shit probably like um going on two years okay yeah yeah he and any and he suddenly
(39:57):
always tries to give me hints that you know you work a lot and I know you're tired I don't have
like I know he doesn't right I know yeah well at least you make him at least at least he still does
it because I would have been like I would have found some way to not go well I gave him an option
I said if you're not gonna go if you don't want to do karate or this mixed martial art stuff like
(40:22):
give me another extra curricular activity that you would like to do because I just can't have him
that's what you're so good at that no but no pairs do that anymore
yeah I know so I did you do that with um your daughter yes yes what was her extra
(40:43):
curricular activity so at first I put her uh she was um playing the flute
okay for a while and she was good at it she enjoyed it man she maybe oh shit maybe not
like six months but I tried to make the experience for her she was she was the one that brought it
up to me uh and she's a letty so I bought a left-handed flute I I made it I got it purple I engraved
(41:12):
her name on it just try to how old was she uh eight okay eight I think yeah so she went about
maybe six months and nah not for me I was like what about this 600 fucking dollar flute
oh I got something I could I can't even tell it it has your name engraved right
(41:36):
I was like fuck it I'll learn how to play the flute left-handed
on the corner of Kingsley yeah I'm fucking make some extra cash there you go but she yeah so she
did the flute for a little bit and then um well she did uh tracked she did tracks for a little bit
(42:00):
and then she she that wasn't she yeah she didn't really care for it then she was in choir
oh I can see her excelling in that yeah I know she was like like yeah like yeah and then she just
decided to do more of the theater she went into theater because I was always trying to get her
to do sports but thank god bless her soul because I hate doing the whole I need new cleats or
(42:25):
oh yeah and sports gear and everything yeah and then it's my week to bring the snacks and
right I'm so damn tired like I don't uh it was like she's never gonna no either neither of my
children would ever advance because I don't make them practice like just practice after school go
(42:47):
to the games and I don't do it yeah I don't continue to push them to practice to be the best because
I work if they wanted to well if they wanted to or if they wanted I guess more of it they would
have done it on their own anyway so right and the fact that you had him doing something is good
yeah yeah so with her theater yeah she did that so she found something that was an after
(43:13):
school something like an extracurricular activity something she wanted to do and she
dived into it and I never bothered her to get out of the house or do something and yeah
yeah so my son is more of like I guess let's go karate but he's doing well so yeah that's good
(43:35):
he doesn't like it I think he's just doing it to like pacify me and not like bark at him
I had M try um when she was probably in first grade I had her try karate for like a class like
was the free trial period and she's like not for me I'm like okay fine um and then it was it was
(44:00):
called cheerleading but it wasn't cheer but um so she would be like in her cheer a cheer uniform
but she did all the parades locally does that make sense like they would do all the marching and
all that I guess what their pom poms yeah yeah I don't know what it's called but I called it cheer
even though it wasn't cheer but she did that for at least five years four or five years
that was about it so no instruments no she did tennis um in her in high school that was about it
(44:30):
was she good I guess I never went to any of her fucking matches she come on with that
trophy or or or participation trophies she got a part I guess she got the most improved one for
her senior year whatever the second or third year that she played because I guess um she wasn't
I don't know is it called first I don't even know if it's called first string for um I'm talking
(44:52):
football terms I don't know it's first string for um whatever I don't think she was first string but
maybe by the end she was I guess I don't know I'm not really involved obviously you can tell
that's why I only have one kid and I got my tubes tied never again there you go there you go
(45:14):
so try yeah that's insane well that's good show that's cool like I don't know my kids like
does you know how to ride a bike yes okay how old was she when you taught her or when she you know
what I don't even know I didn't teach her huh I don't know she had like my brother got her um a bike
(45:41):
and obviously with the training wheels I want to say that she was probably like
spyre six I don't know she was young what about your kids um yeah they ride bikes I but I taught
them both and I remember teaching them both in a parking lot yeah I don't remember teaching her
(46:02):
but I mean she had the training wheels on and obviously she knows how to ride a bike so
oh cool I don't know I guess pat on the back to the training wheels not me she was riding her
little bike and then all of a sudden one training wheel fell off and she just kept going total
fucking Adam Sambler movie I've seen some kids riding their bikes with training wheels and the
(46:27):
training wheels are not even touching the fucking floor the ground right they're just going to fight
man safety support I guess or whatever you want to call it your parents must be fucking like drunk
at home or some shit because like get those motherfucking training wheels off you don't even need them
oh good it's a safety net for them yeah security blanket yeah because back then I guess they
(46:52):
have to wear helmets right so like I fucking refuse to wear a helmet when I ride a bike
I'm not going yeah I don't either is it the right to there um I want to say it probably is for the
kids or at least back in the day but I don't know about now freaking adults so um speaking of banning
(47:15):
shit I was on Twitter right before I logged on and I guess um Joe Biden is I don't know if he did
or he's about to ban menthol cigarettes and the fucking tweets are so hilarious from one of both
what the first one said oh so I guess he's cast I'm not castrating he's out casting or he's blocking
(47:36):
all the black voters from voting for him I'm like nobody's gonna vote for him period who the fuckers
like got two feet in the grave already just die shit I will send you the tweet yes because he's in
uh obviously it's not him but he's got cornrows and he's got um Newport news um you know the
(48:03):
you know what the brand looks like or the box looks like yes this this guy or whatever the
photoshop the guy has the jogger suit of the menthol or the Newport news oh my god it's
fucking great oh my gosh Newport's are still around that's crazy that's what I said I'm like
people still smoke fucking menthols yeah like cool's and Newport's send a tweet right now I'm
(48:31):
gonna send a tweet yeah it's just ridiculous I'm just like this is fucking party town
shit there it comes let's see
and um for the listeners I will put the if I remember I'm gonna remember I will put the tweet
(48:53):
link into the show notes just because it's straight ridiculous I want that get up right
stand in front of a liquor store no loitering I'm not
(49:19):
crazy oh shit all right pomeon of all I think we should call today we're rounding up on an hour
pretty soon oh right I can't believe we actually pulled that one off okay okay I know right
oh shit all right well do you have any parting words I do not I just hey everybody just hang on
(49:41):
it's May's coming up sync OJ my oh and may the fourth be with you that may oh sync up to my
house next weekend right yeah yeah fuck well okay and um yeah I guess I'm gonna probably pour some
vodka here I'm gonna have vodka all week so maybe I'll just have some vodka and I guess if you
(50:02):
guys are gonna drink tonight watch some basketball and drink up I don't know yeah have a good week
yes all right we are all right please
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