November 25, 2025 • 42 mins
We go from loose jokes to a grounded talk on nicotine, routines, and the thin line between a habit and a compulsion. We unpack vape bans, explain cravings to kids, and test whether “routines” are comfort or cage.
• defining addictions versus routines and why it matters
• nicotine cravings explained in simple terms
• Wisconsin vape ban, legal workarounds, and confusion
• parents talking to kids about vaping and pouches
• debating nicotine’s risks and perceived benefits
• hidden habits and nervous ticks in daily life
• morning rituals, dressing order, and cognitive load
• gambling limits, cash-only logic, and risk framing
• small addictions: reels, slow replies, clickbait
• practical ideas for setting boundaries and adapting routines
Listen to us every Tuesday for advice, hot takes, and some camaraderie
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony.
SPEAKER_01 (00:25):
Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen, we're
back.
SPEAKER_03 (00:29):
Hey everybody.
This episode of Top ShelfStories podcast is gonna be
called Arm Vagina.
Wait, what?
Did you what did you say?
Did you just make the handsignal for arm vagina?
Something like that.
SPEAKER_04 (00:46):
Can I can I understand?
Square vagina?
Well, you just drew a vagina inthe air with your vagina.
An air vagina.
Can I understand what that is?
SPEAKER_03 (00:52):
Very large one.
I'll show you.
Hold on.
SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Oh, so you made like okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:57):
I put like my hands in like making a quotations
symbol, but like sliding down,and Tony said it was an air
vagina.
SPEAKER_04 (01:05):
No, they connected at the bottom.
Oh, I connected them though.
I thought you were praying.
You basically either made avagina or the leaf of an aspen
tree.
SPEAKER_03 (01:14):
Jay, can you say the word vagina for me, please, just
one time?
Vagina.
Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:19):
Vagina.
He did it.
I think that counts.
I uh I have problems with itjust because it doesn't roll off
my tongue like it should.
Like normal people.
SPEAKER_02 (01:27):
I've been having vagina roll off my tongue since
I was about 16 years old, man.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
I'm not getting into that at all.
Let's just keep it down along.
SPEAKER_03 (01:38):
This is uh family podcast.
That's why we tried to keep itclean.
Yeah.
Just like that vagina when I was16.
SPEAKER_01 (01:45):
You know, the problem is I gave my son oh
goodness the the the uh the wayto get to this podcast, and now
I just kind of feel weird.
But that's fine.
I don't give shit.
He probably doesn't listen.
He's young.
You're over 18.
You gave the 13-year-old?
Yeah, no, 18 didn't want it.
SPEAKER_03 (02:02):
This is explicit.
His Spotify shouldn't show it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:06):
There's ways, there's ways to get around
everything, man.
These kids, these kids areonline mingling with predators
right now.
Yeah, that's why they ball uprole.
My kid's got two counts onRoblox.
I guess one is for the fuckingpredators, one's for his
friends.
SPEAKER_03 (02:22):
My kids actually got two logins too.
She's like, here, you can usemine.
Why is that a thing?
Different devices, these kidsdon't understand how to resign
it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:29):
And they're just like, if I got a new one, I'll
just make a new one.
We got into that last time.
Yeah, we're not talking aboutthat.
This time, uh, I want to so it'snot ba it's not necessarily a
story, but I think stories willcome out of this.
And what I wanted to ask youguys is about vagina.
SPEAKER_03 (02:48):
Alright, sorry, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (02:49):
That was good.
Uh addictions.
Addictions.
Everyone has them.
I have certain addictions tocertain things.
Oh, absolutely.
I want to know.
I want to start out with both orall of our addictions to what
I'll go first.
How long they have been in yourlife and what addictions you
have gone through and got outof.
(03:11):
Because I mean, I don't thinkTony, he doesn't he he he you
still manicure?
Pedicure.
Pedicure, I mean.
SPEAKER_04 (03:19):
Uh yeah.
Actually, I haven't been inalmost two months because of the
new toenail growth.
I'm waiting until it gets to anacceptable length before I go
in.
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
I saw these things, they look like a strap or like a
band-aid strap kind of thing,but they're a little more rigid
and the glue's a lot stickier.
And what you do is you put themaround your toes or fingernails
in a way that it goes around thefront, but under the nail, so
that when the nail grows, itgrows over this like band-aid
(03:55):
thing instead of into your sideskin.
SPEAKER_01 (03:57):
I feel like that'd be the most uncomfortable thing
to wear.
SPEAKER_03 (04:00):
Yeah, but you'd only have to do it for a little while
because once it gets past thatspot where the nail keeps going
in instead of over, but you cannever cut your nail growing.
SPEAKER_01 (04:09):
You can never cut the nail too far.
SPEAKER_03 (04:10):
Well, I think that's part of what people have done is
cut it too far, or you keepcutting it flat and it keeps
growing in the sides.
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
I'd let my fing my.
SPEAKER_03 (04:17):
As we get older, our nails just curled the fuck over,
too, though.
Yeah.
But, anyways, so you stoppedyour addiction because of the
colours.
Well, it's not the addiction.
SPEAKER_01 (04:28):
It's it's more of a routine.
Let's retrack.
Let's retrack.
Uh, you go to the the what is itcalled?
Nail salon?
Let's just give it a nail salon.
SPEAKER_04 (04:38):
Silver nails, generic Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_01 (04:40):
Okay, you shout out.
I go.
I think it's called Are you sureit's not called happy ending
massage pilots?
No.
Nails, nails and endings.
Okay, no, that's stupid.
All right, so it's basicallylike your wife would be the one
that goes to get nails done.
But you every single month, forhow many years have you got your
(05:01):
toenails trimmed, bimmed, andshaved?
SPEAKER_04 (05:06):
Oh, probably six times a year.
How many years?
Well, I'm man.
So more than you can remember.
Pretty regularly, like maybethree or four.
No way.
I think it's longer than that.
SPEAKER_03 (05:19):
Okay, fine.
I don't think it's an addiction,though.
That's more of a routine, andthat's also more of like Okay,
fine.
SPEAKER_04 (05:25):
Let's get it.
It's not even a routine.
It's not like the third Mondayof every month I go see Lily.
SPEAKER_03 (05:32):
But I think this brings up a point about
addiction.
Not all addictions are likenegative or bad.
SPEAKER_01 (05:37):
Exactly.
That's why I said there's gonnabe positive addictions, but some
positive addictions can benegative towards your body.
Like working too working out toomuch or taking something to uh
amplify your workouts, basicallyuh implying that you're is this
your way of pussy footing intotelling us you're on roids?
SPEAKER_04 (05:58):
Do I look like I'm on roids?
Well, not yet.
You might have just started.
I hope you just started.
SPEAKER_01 (06:05):
I've been taking them two years, not doing
anything at all.
SPEAKER_03 (06:09):
Just putting on the weight, I'm gonna burn it off
later, turn it into muscle.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
It's so weird.
I don't have to work out, but myfeet are fucking ripped.
It's the strangest thing.
Because I walk a lot.
No, but yeah, they're right.
There's negative and positive uhaddictions.
Uh for me, uh, I got a lot ofaddictions.
First off, would be smoking,nicotine.
Been doing that since I was alittle kid.
Drinking.
(06:37):
Um swearing.
That's gonna be an addiction.
I don't know if that's anaddiction.
Okay.
Um yeah, I mean, the main twothings are drinking and and and
smoking.
That's the thing.
The two things I can never kicksince I started.
SPEAKER_03 (06:59):
So, what brought you to talk about this today here?
You uh you trying to quit or notsmoke, or does this have to do
with the state of Wisconsin'sridiculous law now where you
can't get vapes in our town?
SPEAKER_01 (07:13):
Yeah, it was it was a tragedy for about a week.
So I didn't take it serious.
In Wisconsin, the governor ofWisconsin declared a no vape
unless USDA approved vape wasin.
SPEAKER_04 (07:28):
Uh oh, so this is a government getting their money
thing.
SPEAKER_01 (07:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:31):
I think so.
SPEAKER_01 (07:32):
And there's no vapes that are USDA approved.
SPEAKER_03 (07:35):
No, I got one.
There are.
Really?
They just got some on the on theapparently there's this one, the
one I got now, it's the guy atthe I asked the guy at the vape
store because I've been notvaping.
What is the name of the vape?
But I was like, I'm goingcamping.
I'm gonna get a um It looksfucking crazy looking.
You can't charge it, it tasteslike trash.
(07:56):
Uh, but it I think it's atobacco derived nicotine.
I don't know.
That's strange.
SPEAKER_01 (08:01):
Okay, so so it's not there's no like uh there's less
liquid chemicals in it.
I have no idea, dude.
SPEAKER_03 (08:07):
It looks weird.
I just huffed the thing when Iwant to huff the thing.
It's I'm addicted to thenicotine.
SPEAKER_01 (08:14):
Yeah, so I didn't tr I didn't believe it was gonna
happen.
SPEAKER_03 (08:17):
All three of us are addicted to nicotine.
SPEAKER_01 (08:19):
Yeah, we all do it.
We all do it.
We try to, you know, keep itdown.
Have you talked to your kidsabout nicotine?
SPEAKER_04 (08:25):
Um well, he talks to me about about it more than I
talk to him about it.
SPEAKER_03 (08:30):
I've taught I talk to my kid almost every day about
it.
SPEAKER_01 (08:33):
So I give the I think I feel like I give the
best example about what the uhthe uh feeling is to be addicted
to nicotine.
Basically, have you ever umplayed a sport and ran around
and got just like you were likeafter you're done, you're
fucking thirsty as shit.
I mean it's been a decade sinceI ran around like that, but
yeah.
(08:54):
You basically you I mean you'reso thirsty you would drink from
a puddle from the ground.
SPEAKER_04 (09:01):
Yeah, that's only happened to me once in my life.
It was the fall of 1987.
I was in an intense two-day-longduck duck goose match.
Why are you laughing?
unknown (09:14):
Duck duck.
SPEAKER_03 (09:16):
I'm intently listening, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (09:19):
I am not anyway.
The duck goosed around thecircle for almost two hours.
I could not catch him.
You know, he could have laughedme if he wanted.
I was the fat kid, but yeah, Iwould I would have literally
drank the sweat off the back ofmy neck.
SPEAKER_01 (09:36):
I'm only laughing, Chris, because I'm envisioning
it in my head, and I can seetotally running and running.
Stop! Slow down.
Oh, Titty's slapping me in mychin.
No, but basically, this is whatit is.
You're so thirsty, but when youfinally get that drink of water,
it's it's that's the feeling ofgetting that hit of nicotine.
(09:57):
Not having the drink of water,like needing it and seeing it in
front of you and taking thedrink, that's the feeling of
nicotine withdrawal and thenactually getting hit.
Does that make sense?
Do you remember the last timeyou were that thirsty?
I don't.
Well, then try it sometime.
Go fucking work out and then belike, it's like every morning I
wake up, dude.
SPEAKER_03 (10:17):
I wake up extremely thirsty.
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Okay, so then basically that would be the the
nicotine uh addiction tonicotine.
SPEAKER_03 (10:27):
I feel like the way I would explain nicotine
addiction is that life is prettyrough as it is, right?
So we go around and everything'sirritating for the most part.
I mean, in general, right?
You you're a perfect life,there's no irritations.
Perfect life doesn't exist,right?
So when you're when likeeverything is irritating you to
(10:49):
the point where like you'reabout to yell at your kid for
tying their shoes the wrong way,because it's not how you would
do it.
Yeah.
If you had a if you go like justgive me a second and take some
nicotine in, come back, it'slike it's everything's okay.
SPEAKER_01 (11:03):
Yeah, that's kind of like more like a release than
actually being addicted to acertain type of chemical, in my
opinion.
SPEAKER_03 (11:10):
And I'm not even sure it's is it the nicotine?
Is nicotine really that bad foryou?
I've heard nicotine actually hasa lot of good health benefits.
I what the hell are you reading?
SPEAKER_01 (11:21):
Uh it does.
It fucks up it fucks up your uhyour your blood flow through
your body.
Does it fuck it up or does itfix it?
SPEAKER_03 (11:30):
It fucks it up.
I think it fixes it.
It's always it restricts theblood flow.
Sweet, sweet nicotine is like,don't worry, bro.
I got you.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
I'll fix your shit up.
It restricts the flow of bloodthrough your body.
Um it ages you can't.
SPEAKER_04 (11:49):
But that's my quickly.
That's one of my biggestproblems is all the blood flow.
To your dick.
Yeah, I'm sick of walking thestreets with a rock hard cock.
Like I need the nicotine to keepit down.
SPEAKER_03 (12:05):
So what about so okay.
Nicotine is definitelysomething.
I would say uh what percentageof people do you think are
nicotine addicted?
SPEAKER_04 (12:18):
I would say it's while we're in the 30s.
SPEAKER_01 (12:20):
Are we gonna do are we gonna do an age group or just
30% of people altogether witheveryone?
I think I think well, I don'tknow.
I wouldn't say 30, no way.
I bet that's I bet it is.
SPEAKER_03 (12:33):
We're three of three here.
Look, that's like saying threeout of Does your wife smoke or
use nicotine or not?
Not at all.
Does yours?
Nope.
Mine does not.
Okay, so that's like saying 10people out of six.
Yeah, it's like, but I mean, I'mjust saying.
Why think about this way wedon't hang out outside here.
It's not like we have the sameclick.
SPEAKER_04 (12:54):
Every every fucking person I see under 30 but over
15 is fucking vaping.
Or putting zins in their lip.
That's totally different, man.
SPEAKER_01 (13:05):
That's that's like a popularity and then uh being
part of the trend.
SPEAKER_04 (13:08):
You asked how many people use nicotine.
I'm talking about the entire Ithink it's zero to fucking a
hundred.
And then you get into that 30 to50 range, and how many people
you know fucking chew tobaccopouches?
I miss nicotine.
That's nicotine.
But that's what I'm saying.
Like, I know I know people thatare hiding it from their
(13:31):
families.
SPEAKER_03 (13:31):
Sure, sure.
SPEAKER_04 (13:32):
I know I know tons of people that fucking use them
little nicotine pouches.
Yeah, and then you look and thenyou get into the older age
group, and every single one ofthem fucking people smoked their
whole lives.
So a big majority of them stilldo.
SPEAKER_03 (13:50):
I was gonna say that the people who've been smoking
for so long, their face lookslike leather, and they're like,
you could tell they used to gothat they're like used to ride
their motorcycle and like rip apack of smokes up in their
shoulder sleeve.
Those guys when they still dothat.
Those guys when they switch andare vaping on these little pink
(14:12):
and fruity fucking things, it ishilarious.
SPEAKER_01 (14:15):
Okay, so when I was when I was like 14 or 15, I was
dating this girl.
She smoked, I didn't.
And I can never I could neverunderstand why her fucking
breath smelled and tasted sobad.
I mean, I'm not sure.
I'm stupid, yeah.
I mean, I thought maybe she justdrank some nasty alcohol.
(14:35):
Because we were yeah we dranktwo.
But like it it didn't click.
It didn't click at all.
It didn't click at all.
I don't know why it didn'tclick, but it didn't.
I just always call her shitbreath.
And but you continued to dateher?
Uh it was, you know, when you'reyoung, it's everything that's
dating is like a monster.
Head game strong.
What does that mean?
(14:57):
Head game strong?
Yeah, what does that mean?
Oh, ask your kid when you gethome.
It's a it's a young term.
Like 76.
Is it 76 or 67?
I think it I think it's uh 67,right?
67.
Yeah, and what does that mean?
I nobody knows.
SPEAKER_03 (15:15):
Nobody knows nobody, nobody's so serious.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
I learned this recently.
SPEAKER_04 (15:20):
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
I know I had I had volleyballcarpool for my kid uh month or
Tuesday this week, and uh Ipicked them all up in uh the
caddy, the convertible.
So I had three kids in the backand then mine in the front, and
(15:42):
the three kids in the back, itwas their first time ever in a
convertible, so they didn't knowhow to act, so they were doing a
lot of arms in the air, likefucking breaking them backwards
and talking to the drivers nextto us, like like they couldn't
do that with a rolled downwindow.
SPEAKER_03 (15:59):
It's totally different though.
SPEAKER_04 (16:01):
And every single person that they talk to, the
conversation either started orended with 6'7.
SPEAKER_03 (16:09):
I gotta know what that is.
I had I had to have thisconversation with these kids.
I'm like, all right, you don'tknow what it is, I don't know
what it is.
I don't say six seven.
They're like, well, it's becauseyou're fucking old, boomer.
And I said, No, because I thinkit's important to realize you
shouldn't use terminology youdon't know the meaning of,
(16:31):
because you could be sayingsomething absolutely ridiculous,
and others could be offended bywhat you're saying, and you
don't even know.
So now they don't say six sevenanymore because they don't know
what it means.
SPEAKER_01 (16:43):
Back to the topic.
So, but those are those arehardcore addictions, the the
drugs, alcohol, and and smoking.
Sure.
But I'm talking about now I wantto like delve back into the
addiction slash uh habit formingthings that you can't get out,
like fucking scratching yourhead every once in a while.
Or you know, while you'rewatching a movie.
I play with my hair as long asI'm watching a movie.
(17:07):
That's how I concentrate.
Basically, like fiddling withsomething is another addiction,
or could it be a just the randomthing I do too?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:20):
Well, you're doing it, although you're you don't
even realize you're doing it,right?
SPEAKER_01 (17:25):
But it's not harmful unless I realize I'm doing it
because my wife's slapping myhand every fucking time I get a
chance to get in there, get inthere.
SPEAKER_03 (17:31):
So like people chew their nails and shit too.
Yeah, that's another one.
My kids do that, it'sdisgusting.
SPEAKER_04 (17:36):
So so there was this guy.
Um I I dealt with him a longtime ago.
He owned a little flooringstore.
I used to buy stuff from him.
Was it little?
I got my I got my little brothera job there.
So my brother worked there for acouple years, and uh this this
guy was a fucking great guy.
(17:58):
And uh it was, you know, outkinda in a country little
suburb, and uh like a real areal cheap area, people didn't
spend a lot of money, like a lotof country people, and uh this
guy had a fucking nervous tick,and all he did was deal with
(18:18):
people, you know, at his store,customers.
What's his what was his nervoustick?
His nervous tick was anytime hetalked to anybody after like ten
seconds, his hand would slowlycome up and he would just start
picking his nose while he wastalking to you.
SPEAKER_01 (18:37):
Get the fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_04 (18:38):
I could call my brother and verify this right
now.
No way.
This yes way.
SPEAKER_01 (18:43):
Okay, wait, wait.
So you when you say nervoustick, like he had a
confrontation with someone, andthat was his way to relieve the
it it was anybody.
If you started talking to himright now about fishing, so it's
not nervous, like an actualconversation that he actually
wanted to converse with youabout something he liked, he'd
(19:04):
start picking his nose.
SPEAKER_04 (19:05):
Anytime I I don't know what the fuck it was, but
anytime you started talking tohim, a finger just slowly went
to his fucking nostril.
There are things every fuckingtime.
Did you ever try grabbing his?
SPEAKER_01 (19:18):
I don't think he even realized he was doing it.
Did you ever try grabbing hishand and take take slowly taking
away from his nose?
Did it go right back to hisnose?
SPEAKER_04 (19:26):
I I never tried it.
Um I don't believe that.
I should probably meet up withhim.
I don't believe that.
SPEAKER_03 (19:35):
It's a fact.
You have a video of it?
He's grabbing his phone.
People will do things like that,like uh when they're talking.
Some people will like play withtheir fingers and roll them
together.
They're not picking the nose ofit, playing with the fingers.
Not even realizing they're doingit.
SPEAKER_01 (19:51):
Okay, well, that I guess maybe, but that's not an
addiction.
That's more of a I'm sure youwould rather not do it.
What would you call that then?
If it's something you can'tconcentrate.
It's an addiction, though.
Because you're not doing it tosatisfy satisfies Jesus Christ.
Can you talk?
You can't concentrate.
SPEAKER_03 (20:08):
Satisfy something.
Yeah, but you can't concentrateon a movie without playing with
your hair.
This guy can't concentrate onhaving a conversation with your
hair.
SPEAKER_01 (20:14):
Yeah, but I know I'm playing with my hair.
SPEAKER_03 (20:17):
He probably knows too, but it just happens.
You can't stop.
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
There's no way.
SPEAKER_03 (20:21):
Why?
There's no way.
Why?
Picking your nose isn't thatgross.
SPEAKER_01 (20:25):
I'm not saying it's gross, but there's no way you
you don't know you're pickingyour nose.
It's impossible.
Keep an eye on that.
And I would I would tell I wouldsay something.
I don't know why you haven'tsaid anything to him.
I I don't know.
This is fucking ridiculous.
SPEAKER_04 (20:43):
It is ridiculous.
It's the most ridiculous.
You're ridiculous.
And I think the thing is, isnobody ever told him he even
does it.
SPEAKER_00 (20:52):
Pretty late.
SPEAKER_04 (20:54):
Unless he's having a conversation with somebody in
front of a mirror.
His mom and how would he know?
His parents are like, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (21:02):
We're used to it.
Thanks for coming over to ourhouse for dinner.
Oh, by the way, Timmy kind ofpicks his nose when he talks.
Just ignore it.
SPEAKER_01 (21:12):
Does he do it when he does anything?
Like when he's eating?
Uh I don't know.
I never ate with him.
But I think that's hard.
That's hard to believe.
You've eaten it with everyoneI've ever met.
SPEAKER_03 (21:27):
It's coming from a guy who can't eat in front of
people.
SPEAKER_04 (21:32):
That's another your d another one of your
addictions, not being able toeat in front of people.
SPEAKER_01 (21:36):
I would say that's that's an adverse addiction.
That would be a negativeaddiction.
SPEAKER_03 (21:41):
I'm trying to think.
Because I I think like that'slike more too looks at like
habits, right?
You'd be more habit.
Like you do it by habit, you doit because you kind of have to,
like a tick, like a thing.
Like Tony, we talked once inthis podcast about how you get
dressed in the morning, and Tonyhas the exact same thing every
(22:02):
time.
And I will sometimes noticethat, like, oh, for four days in
a row, I've put underpants on,then my t-shirt, then my pants.
Let's switch it up and put onthe pants and then go grab a
t-shirt.
Wait, pants underwear?
Switch it.
So, like, I a lot of people havethese things.
I don't know if I do, but I betyou if you ask my wife, she'd be
(22:22):
like, Oh, but what about this?
And what about that?
Because she sees me doing thesethings.
The less the non-harmful stuffthat are like kind of like of an
addiction or like thenon-harmful, non-invasive to
others things that you do.
Unless someone's telling you,you don't even realize you're
doing them.
SPEAKER_01 (22:41):
I will say that one thing that my wife that my wife
has told me that I do that Inever noticed I do is before I
swallow, I'll chew reallyquickly, like and then swallow.
Like every time.
And I've never noticed that.
So, yes, uh, that makes sense.
Okay.
But come on, that's literallybasically in it's not visual to
(23:03):
chew really quickly and swallow.
SPEAKER_04 (23:05):
Visually picking your nose.
Does your wife just like nonstopfollow you around and tell you
everything that's wrong thatit's wrong with everything you
do?
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03 (23:14):
I mean, there are uh see, my wife thinks I do that to
her, and I don't feel like I do.
I can see you doing that there.
You do it to me.
I do work on it.
Do it to me.
I do it to Jay.
SPEAKER_01 (23:27):
Yes, all the time.
I'm like, every time I see you,you're like, Jay, how you doing?
Get taller.
Yeah, you should really work onyour height.
It's gross.
You work on your height.
Jay, how are you doing today?
Whoa, you got a little tallertoday.
Oh no, you're wearing shoes.
SPEAKER_03 (23:44):
But the wife will the one, I mean, that's the
other part of it is that, yeah,if your wife was here, Tony, or
your wife, Jay, that we aremine, and they would tell us.
SPEAKER_01 (23:53):
They're like, this is a great podcast where if our
wives listen, they'll be intheir head going, no, you gotta
tell them about how you imagine,imagine if we bring our wives to
our podcast and had a podcastwith them, the conversations
that would happen.
Or if they would let it happen.
I think they would back off andbe nervous to say anything.
SPEAKER_03 (24:14):
I don't think so.
Not yours?
Nah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:16):
My wife would, unless you got like her angry.
I think she's asked.
If you got her angry, she'd beshe'd let you know.
Kate's asked to be a part of thepodcast.
She can come whenever she wants.
No, she can't.
Okay, and she can never come.
Never ever.
Never.
SPEAKER_04 (24:32):
Yeah.
Trying to think of it.
I don't know, but yeah.
So a long time ago, we on one ofour various podcasts.
Like last month.
Um when we talked about morningroutines and and things like
that.
And I brought up the fact thatmy morning routine is identical
(24:53):
every day, regardless of where Iam, what I'm doing.
I I shit the same way.
SPEAKER_01 (25:00):
Let me ask you this, Rogue, before you finish that.
SPEAKER_03 (25:02):
For those at home, Tony faces the tank.
SPEAKER_01 (25:06):
Yeah.
You know why I think that's sofunny?
Because I'm visualizing it rightnow.
Yeah.
And he has a mirror behind histoilet.
Like, he's looking at doing agood job today, boy.
SPEAKER_04 (25:19):
Today's your day.
SPEAKER_01 (25:19):
Fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Go ahead.
Finish Tony.
But uh, you know maybe fuckingget off track.
SPEAKER_04 (25:26):
I do I do everything identically every fucking day.
You know, I wake up, hit myvape, go to the bathroom, take a
shit, turn on the shower.
SPEAKER_01 (25:40):
Is it at the exact same situation?
SPEAKER_04 (25:41):
Well that's the same time.
Well that's no, not at the sametime.
No, I'm saying like you wake upat the same time.
No.
Okay.
Uh I start up the shower, andwhile that's getting warm, I
brush my teeth, then I get intothe shower, then I dry off, I
get dressed the same way everytime.
And Chris told me I'm a fuckinglunatic and that he mixes it up.
SPEAKER_03 (26:05):
And uh, I'm in the minority, I think.
I I think most people do.
SPEAKER_04 (26:10):
So there was there was like a long stretch of time
where I tried doing my routinedifferently, where I like tried
breaking my routine.
Because I'm like, well, if Chriscan do it, anybody can when you
say long stretch, how long liketwo days in a row.
Seem like an eternity.
But you know, like I triedputting on my socks before my
(26:33):
underwear, and I'm just like,this doesn't feel right.
Well, that's weird.
And I got yeah, you don't wantto go ill logic.
SPEAKER_01 (26:39):
Yeah, you get you always gotta pick the socks
last.
SPEAKER_04 (26:43):
Well, I don't see a more logical way to do it.
I mean, I'm not gonna take ashit after I take a shit.
But you know, like the other dayI put on my shirt before my
pants, and I was like, the fuckam I doing right now?
SPEAKER_03 (26:59):
I do that every day.
That's crazy.
That's nearly that is normal.
No, normal behavior for me is towith the dressing, it's grab the
underpants, then a t-shirt.
I feel like something's wrong.
And then I get myself together,and then actually my work shirt,
my overshirt, does go on nearlylast typically.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
I feel something was wrong with me because if I find
my shirt, it does whatever Ifind first, I put on.
Yeah, you got a weird pilesystem.
When I wa when I go to bed, Itake my clothes off and not
throw them.
Uh I slightly throw them around.
Not throw.
Say that twice though.
(27:39):
You just put them where I don'tremember when then when I find
them, I put them back on inseparate.
SPEAKER_02 (27:46):
Um what happened when you went into that?
SPEAKER_04 (27:51):
It just didn't feel right, so now I know that I'm
addicted to my morning routine.
You can't change it.
I can't change it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:59):
Okay, so then there you go.
You have an addiction that youdidn't even know you well, you
know you had it, but we'remaking light here at the
crackest.
SPEAKER_04 (28:09):
I figured that the things that I do in the morning
in the order in which I do themare just completely normal.
SPEAKER_01 (28:17):
Well, they say uh what what's the word for it?
Something about animal ofhabitat?
No.
Creature of habit.
Of habit?
SPEAKER_03 (28:27):
Yeah, I don't like I hate I don't hate much, but it's
like you're so close.
SPEAKER_01 (28:33):
I was so far off, but you guys know what I'm
talking about because it's mylanguage.
SPEAKER_03 (28:37):
When I find something creature of habit is
starting to become repetitive, Iintentionally try to change it.
Oh no, I love the repetition.
I'm no see I'm addicted torepetition.
SPEAKER_04 (28:50):
You heard it here first.
SPEAKER_03 (28:51):
So I'll say, like, since I had this new car, I
always put my backpack in theback seat.
So I go to the front door,unlock it with my hand, go into
the back seat, put the put thebackpack on the back seat, close
the backseat door, get into thefront seat on a separate door.
SPEAKER_04 (29:10):
You're you're like an executive at a large company.
Sure.
And it's funny that in in thisday and age, uh, printed
t-shirts and backpacks havereplaced suits and briefcases.
SPEAKER_03 (29:27):
But I I even like the last few days, I'm like, I
gotta do something differenthere.
I don't want to keep doing it.
SPEAKER_04 (29:34):
Yeah, but you don't want to you don't want to take
the chance of sliding thatbackpack against your fine
Corinthian leather.
SPEAKER_03 (29:40):
Well, I know.
So like what you know, frontseat was my first thought.
Like, I'll just put it in thepassenger seat as I get in.
But then I'm wisping thisbackpack across all of this.
SPEAKER_04 (29:51):
Who knows?
One of your carabiners might getcaught in a leather seat.
Exactly.
You never know.
SPEAKER_03 (29:56):
So I think I'm gonna go trunk next.
SPEAKER_04 (29:58):
Yeah, no, you gotta go trunk, but.
The other part is I've realizedno, then you lift up the floor
mat and put it by the sparetire.
No, I see how that feels.
SPEAKER_03 (30:06):
See, I was thinking to myself too.
Then I was like, why the hell amI carrying this backpack around?
Every single time I go to work,I put it now in a new spot
because I got sick of the oldspot, but I put it down and I
don't think I ever really go init.
I really don't need it.
I really want to.
Emergency snacks and an extrapair of underwear.
(30:28):
Exactly, basically.
And so now I'm like, you knowwhat?
I'm gonna do is not carry thebag at all.
See how it feels, dude.
I don't know if you've seen myeyes there.
SPEAKER_04 (30:38):
They got crazy.
SPEAKER_03 (30:39):
I mean, they go out without extra pens, snaps, lens
wipes, paper, pen.
SPEAKER_01 (30:47):
I wonder, like uh the three of us, you guys seem
habit forming as far as ritualsin the morning or things you do
out throughout the day.
SPEAKER_03 (30:56):
I want to be as free as you.
I I do not ever want to get intothe Tony zone.
So I find these I know theballs.
You're gonna give me anxiety.
I'm I see these things that havebecome routine.
I'm like, oh fuck, I gottachange this shit before it
becomes a habit.
SPEAKER_01 (31:11):
I kind of I'm a little jealous though, because I
I have no uh I'm not a creatureof habit as far as like rituals,
as far as getting ready or doingthings uh physically at all.
SPEAKER_03 (31:24):
There's gotta be some things that have been the
same.
SPEAKER_01 (31:27):
I can't think about anything that I do that is.
SPEAKER_03 (31:30):
Like when you go to bed, do you like put your phone
in the same spot plugged intothe charger?
SPEAKER_01 (31:37):
Yes, the only thing I do is I plug it, I plug
usually digs it out of a couchcushion in the morning.
Um sometime most of the time I'mlooking for my phone or and the
cord because I have three catsagain, and they fucking play
with it and rip it apart andfucking I can't find it.
SPEAKER_04 (31:51):
I hope nobody from your building listens to this.
They find out you got three catsand you own paid a security
deposit on Walton.
SPEAKER_01 (31:59):
Do you not know that no one knows my name there?
I'm James, Jared, and Jacob.
No one knows my name is Jason.
You're the only white guy there.
SPEAKER_03 (32:09):
James, Jacob.
SPEAKER_01 (32:11):
Jeremy, did you say?
You're calling him Jeremiah.
I'll tell you right now, I've Ilost track of all the J's, but
it's a J.
That's the only thing they getright, is the J.
They could just get rid of theletters in the screen.
But yeah, uh I never have aroutine as far as getting
dressed, getting up, doingthings in the morning, doing
things before night.
(32:32):
Everything is always different.
Always a different time.
Sometimes I'll play FIFA untilmidnight.
Sometimes I'll I'll watchfootball till it's done and I'll
fall asleep on the couch.
Yeah, right now they're justplaying right now.
San Francisco and uh LA Chubb L.
SPEAKER_03 (32:50):
What about that addiction?
Your gambling addiction.
SPEAKER_04 (32:53):
That that actually That's why he wanted to record
this podcast and talk about hisgambling addiction.
So it must not be going goodthis year.
Uh I watched both of these weirdass Packer games that happened,
and you gotta be losing someone.
SPEAKER_01 (33:09):
No, I never been in the Packers.
I won$500 last week.
Coming from kind of lost.
But I'm down like the weekbefore.
Already?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's only fourth week.
It's four, it's week four.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (33:24):
Week five coming on week five.
Anyway.
Still a lot of weeks to redeemyourself.
Go big or go home.
SPEAKER_01 (33:32):
But again, that's another habit that could be
positive or negative.
Like another gambling habit.
It's always negative.
SPEAKER_04 (33:38):
If you're winning, even if you're winning, it's
negative.
SPEAKER_03 (33:42):
I heard something about how you can easily double
or triple or quadruple yourmoney, but you can never lose
more than a hundred percent.
I mean, you can 400% win, butyou can only 100% loss.
I can't lose more thaneverything.
SPEAKER_01 (34:02):
Damn, Chris, that's gonna be my new slogan.
I'm gonna tattoo that on my ass.
I like that.
I never heard that before, butthat makes sense.
I mean, it's true.
SPEAKER_03 (34:09):
Yeah, it's awesome.
You can put$100 on number six ona roulette table, and it'll hit,
and you will win 32 times yourmoney or 34 times your money.
But you can only lose$100.
SPEAKER_01 (34:25):
You can't lose more than I'm gonna tell you, yes,
how you can lose more than 100%of the game.
That's not gambling.
That's voting and federalsharking.
And when you go on FanDuel anduse a credit card to put money
in your APR and you lose it all,yeah, there's a hundred percent.
That's not true.
SPEAKER_03 (34:44):
That's not gambling, that's being an idiot.
SPEAKER_01 (34:46):
Yes, but that's over 100% right gone.
SPEAKER_03 (34:48):
That's not gambling less than more than 100%.
But that makes sense, and I lovethat saying, Chris.
SPEAKER_01 (34:55):
The odds are in your favor, man.
Gamble away, folks.
But if you go into anywhere withcash, you're never gonna lose
more than 100%.
Okay.
You can't, you literally can't.
SPEAKER_03 (35:10):
Is there a way?
No, let's figure out.
Except for being stupid andtaking money you don't have,
then yes.
If you don't have it, youalready are losing.
You're you're like immediatelyhere.
Can I get a loan for threegrand?
You're immediately$3,000 in thehole.
Immediately.
So you're already lost.
You're not gambling anymore,you're just being an idiot.
SPEAKER_01 (35:32):
So any so any smaller addictions or habits do
you guys feel like that you havethat I would like to know.
Uh, because I want to know yourhabits.
SPEAKER_04 (35:41):
I'm addicted to codeine cough syrup.
There you go.
We call it lean.
Who here is addicted to porn?
Nah.
Honestly, I have not watchedporn in several years.
Let me ask you why.
SPEAKER_01 (35:54):
Or let me ask you why I'm asking you.
Why are you asking us, Jay?
I want to know first.
SPEAKER_04 (36:01):
Tony, tell me why.
I feel like I feel like porn uhkind of like fills a need that I
don't need.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (36:14):
I've heard that if you watch too much porn, you
can't get it up when you finallyget to the situation that you
want to get into.
SPEAKER_04 (36:23):
I mean, all of it, all of it is like, oh man, I
can't wait for my mom to getremarried so I can get a hot
stepsister.
And there's too many likestraight on giant shots.
SPEAKER_01 (36:35):
Somewhat shots?
Makes you uncomfortable.
Way.
SPEAKER_03 (36:39):
No, I would say people certainly a society, our
society is addicted to sex andlike sexual imaging.
Like you can't watch two hoursof TV without seeing, and
probably even 20 minutes of TV,without seeing the commercial
that's like completely sexualinto.
SPEAKER_01 (36:58):
I want both of you to be honest about this.
How many times have youclickbaited clicked something?
What is clickbaited clicked?
SPEAKER_03 (37:05):
Like you see a picture where it's like a girl's
boobs in the picture, so youclick it to see what's more.
Oh, every time.
I mean, what are you what areyou talking about, dude?
You know when they were alwayslike, don't go into the van just
because the guy's got candy,kids.
SPEAKER_01 (37:25):
And how disappointed do you get when every time
picture?
No, that picture that youclicked on was never in the
video.
SPEAKER_03 (37:31):
Yeah, well, that happens in all kinds of things.
That's not just sexual.
SPEAKER_01 (37:36):
That's like Tony, you're can't wait till you see
this.
SPEAKER_03 (37:40):
Yeah, it's just a good thumbnail.
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
You're pretty quiet there, Tony.
What about you?
SPEAKER_04 (37:44):
I don't click on shit on my phone.
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
You just let the reels run?
Yeah.
So you're that you're a bandit?
Just go.
You're a real bandit.
Just go.
So you put them together, it's areal bandit.
Meaning you just turn reels onand let them just let it go.
SPEAKER_04 (38:03):
You're a real bandit.
Uh they keep going?
Yeah, like I don't hand selectthe reels I want to.
What's reels on?
Face.
But really, that's yeah.
Anywhere you find reels.
That's that's really the onlything I use.
I mean, aside from phone calls,I could get rid of my phone.
SPEAKER_01 (38:19):
I mean, it's it's so fucking great that when I call
or text you, you don't reply.
I do reply.
No, not right away.
Ever.
And when you do, if you ever doreply right away, you do I'll
call you back in a minute.
Like and then that's automated.
Yeah, an automated text that youclick and he doesn't call me
back till the next day.
(38:39):
And maybe not even until I callhim back again.
SPEAKER_03 (38:42):
That should be a feature on those machines.
Like your car will tell you,like, tell him to call back.
You click it, whatever, toauto-reply.
It should remind you.
So he gets mad that actually myphone does remind you.
SPEAKER_01 (38:53):
Do you want to reply to this?
It'll show up in my scan.
So he gets mad that I don't go,I don't do stuff that he asks me
to do.
But like the simple thing ofreplying to a text or a phone
call is a lot easier thanshowing up to a fucking party.
I don't know.
That's relative, bro.
SPEAKER_03 (39:08):
That is super relative.
It's way easier for me to showup at a party than texting.
Fucking bullshit.
For sure.
SPEAKER_01 (39:15):
You are so full of cheap.
SPEAKER_03 (39:17):
I will way show up to the city.
SPEAKER_01 (39:18):
It's so much easier to show up to a party than it is
to reply to a text or a phonecall.
SPEAKER_03 (39:22):
People will be like, hey, I'm having a party on
Saturday night.
Swing by, here's the address, 830.
Let me know if you're coming.
So you don't reply.
A crew of 10 together, go tothat party and show up, and the
guy will be like, Oh, I didn'tknow you were gonna come.
I'd be like, I told you I wasgonna come.
I got all these people with me.
No, you didn't reply.
No, you didn't reply.
(39:43):
I'll be like, oh shit, you knowyou're right.
I just can't.
Way easier to come to a partythan to reply to a party invite.
What do you say about this,Tony?
SPEAKER_04 (39:53):
I think you were slightly in your feelings
because you agreed to come to mycampground this weekend.
Oh, yeah.
And now immediately backpedaledwhen you knew the fucking date.
Wait, no, because uh you told meit was not possible and not a
fucking camper.
And now you're using it as as athing to say, well, it's you
(40:14):
know, all you had to do wasreply to me.
It's not like you actually hadto like physically go someplace
and actually do something.
SPEAKER_01 (40:21):
Okay, but right now, what makes more sense?
My argument or Chris's?
I'm gonna say mine.
SPEAKER_04 (40:27):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Get the fuck out of here.
Say the truth.
There's no unreplied to textmessages in my phone from you.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
SPEAKER_01 (40:37):
No, no, I didn't say unreplied, I said like days
later.
That is basically unreplied, inmy opinion.
That's definitely a reply.
But that's uh Tony, I need toknow something today, two days
later.
Oh yeah, this is the answer tothat thing you need to know two
days earlier.
SPEAKER_04 (40:58):
No, that's not a reply.
Sorry, I'm gonna make anautomatic text that I can
assign.
That just says I'm working onit, bro.
SPEAKER_03 (41:10):
I think the greatest addiction to circle back, sir,
sure, is downloading top shelfstories podcasts.
They're available everywhereeverywhere.
SPEAKER_04 (41:24):
My phone knows I'm so addicted to this podcast that
every two automaticallydownloads it.
SPEAKER_01 (41:30):
Here's the greatest thing is I asked them about the
last two weeks of shows and Isaid, What did you think about
our last week?
Because you should listen to ourshow.
It's your fucking show.
What was the show?
I don't what are you talkingabout?
We have a show.
SPEAKER_03 (41:43):
I haven't listened to anything fantasy football
podcast in probably two weeks,to be honest with you.
Should be listening to your ownshow to take critiques.
What'll happen is like I'm doingsomething in the yard or
whatever, or doing somethingwith the headphone in and
listening to podcasts, and it'llgo to like two or three
different fantasy football ones,and then all of a sudden I'll
(42:04):
hear this music, and it's mypodcast coming into my ears.
It's actually kind of coolbecause it's like, oh wow, I'm
right up with these other guysfrom ESPN and CBS Sports or
whatever.
SPEAKER_01 (42:17):
You know it.
We picked the best music.
We we had the best stories.
What else do we do?
SPEAKER_03 (42:22):
What do we what else do we do?
That's Top Shelf StoriesPodcasts will cure your
addictions.
Oh my god, Chris, that'samazing.
Listen to us every Tuesday foradvice, hot takes, and some
camaraderie.
SPEAKER_04 (42:35):
Yeah, we'll do a separate podcast about my brief
addiction to crack cocaine.
SPEAKER_03 (42:40):
Bangarade.
That's a good one.
For subscribers, hit the bell.
Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony.
SPEAKER_01 (00:25):
Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen, we're
back.
SPEAKER_03 (00:29):
Hey everybody.
This episode of Top ShelfStories podcast is gonna be
called Arm Vagina.
Wait, what?
Did you what did you say?
Did you just make the handsignal for arm vagina?
Something like that.
SPEAKER_04 (00:46):
Can I can I understand?
Square vagina?
Well, you just drew a vagina inthe air with your vagina.
An air vagina.
Can I understand what that is?
SPEAKER_03 (00:52):
Very large one.
I'll show you.
Hold on.
SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Oh, so you made like okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:57):
I put like my hands in like making a quotations
symbol, but like sliding down,and Tony said it was an air
vagina.
SPEAKER_04 (01:05):
No, they connected at the bottom.
Oh, I connected them though.
I thought you were praying.
You basically either made avagina or the leaf of an aspen
tree.
SPEAKER_03 (01:14):
Jay, can you say the word vagina for me, please, just
one time?
Vagina.
Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (01:19):
Vagina.
He did it.
I think that counts.
I uh I have problems with itjust because it doesn't roll off
my tongue like it should.
Like normal people.
SPEAKER_02 (01:27):
I've been having vagina roll off my tongue since
I was about 16 years old, man.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
I'm not getting into that at all.
Let's just keep it down along.
SPEAKER_03 (01:38):
This is uh family podcast.
That's why we tried to keep itclean.
Yeah.
Just like that vagina when I was16.
SPEAKER_01 (01:45):
You know, the problem is I gave my son oh
goodness the the the uh the wayto get to this podcast, and now
I just kind of feel weird.
But that's fine.
I don't give shit.
He probably doesn't listen.
He's young.
You're over 18.
You gave the 13-year-old?
Yeah, no, 18 didn't want it.
SPEAKER_03 (02:02):
This is explicit.
His Spotify shouldn't show it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:06):
There's ways, there's ways to get around
everything, man.
These kids, these kids areonline mingling with predators
right now.
Yeah, that's why they ball uprole.
My kid's got two counts onRoblox.
I guess one is for the fuckingpredators, one's for his
friends.
SPEAKER_03 (02:22):
My kids actually got two logins too.
She's like, here, you can usemine.
Why is that a thing?
Different devices, these kidsdon't understand how to resign
it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:29):
And they're just like, if I got a new one, I'll
just make a new one.
We got into that last time.
Yeah, we're not talking aboutthat.
This time, uh, I want to so it'snot ba it's not necessarily a
story, but I think stories willcome out of this.
And what I wanted to ask youguys is about vagina.
SPEAKER_03 (02:48):
Alright, sorry, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (02:49):
That was good.
Uh addictions.
Addictions.
Everyone has them.
I have certain addictions tocertain things.
Oh, absolutely.
I want to know.
I want to start out with both orall of our addictions to what
I'll go first.
How long they have been in yourlife and what addictions you
have gone through and got outof.
(03:11):
Because I mean, I don't thinkTony, he doesn't he he he you
still manicure?
Pedicure.
Pedicure, I mean.
SPEAKER_04 (03:19):
Uh yeah.
Actually, I haven't been inalmost two months because of the
new toenail growth.
I'm waiting until it gets to anacceptable length before I go
in.
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
I saw these things, they look like a strap or like a
band-aid strap kind of thing,but they're a little more rigid
and the glue's a lot stickier.
And what you do is you put themaround your toes or fingernails
in a way that it goes around thefront, but under the nail, so
that when the nail grows, itgrows over this like band-aid
(03:55):
thing instead of into your sideskin.
SPEAKER_01 (03:57):
I feel like that'd be the most uncomfortable thing
to wear.
SPEAKER_03 (04:00):
Yeah, but you'd only have to do it for a little while
because once it gets past thatspot where the nail keeps going
in instead of over, but you cannever cut your nail growing.
SPEAKER_01 (04:09):
You can never cut the nail too far.
SPEAKER_03 (04:10):
Well, I think that's part of what people have done is
cut it too far, or you keepcutting it flat and it keeps
growing in the sides.
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
I'd let my fing my.
SPEAKER_03 (04:17):
As we get older, our nails just curled the fuck over,
too, though.
Yeah.
But, anyways, so you stoppedyour addiction because of the
colours.
Well, it's not the addiction.
SPEAKER_01 (04:28):
It's it's more of a routine.
Let's retrack.
Let's retrack.
Uh, you go to the the what is itcalled?
Nail salon?
Let's just give it a nail salon.
SPEAKER_04 (04:38):
Silver nails, generic Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
SPEAKER_01 (04:40):
Okay, you shout out.
I go.
I think it's called Are you sureit's not called happy ending
massage pilots?
No.
Nails, nails and endings.
Okay, no, that's stupid.
All right, so it's basicallylike your wife would be the one
that goes to get nails done.
But you every single month, forhow many years have you got your
(05:01):
toenails trimmed, bimmed, andshaved?
SPEAKER_04 (05:06):
Oh, probably six times a year.
How many years?
Well, I'm man.
So more than you can remember.
Pretty regularly, like maybethree or four.
No way.
I think it's longer than that.
SPEAKER_03 (05:19):
Okay, fine.
I don't think it's an addiction,though.
That's more of a routine, andthat's also more of like Okay,
fine.
SPEAKER_04 (05:25):
Let's get it.
It's not even a routine.
It's not like the third Mondayof every month I go see Lily.
SPEAKER_03 (05:32):
But I think this brings up a point about
addiction.
Not all addictions are likenegative or bad.
SPEAKER_01 (05:37):
Exactly.
That's why I said there's gonnabe positive addictions, but some
positive addictions can benegative towards your body.
Like working too working out toomuch or taking something to uh
amplify your workouts, basicallyuh implying that you're is this
your way of pussy footing intotelling us you're on roids?
SPEAKER_04 (05:58):
Do I look like I'm on roids?
Well, not yet.
You might have just started.
I hope you just started.
SPEAKER_01 (06:05):
I've been taking them two years, not doing
anything at all.
SPEAKER_03 (06:09):
Just putting on the weight, I'm gonna burn it off
later, turn it into muscle.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
It's so weird.
I don't have to work out, but myfeet are fucking ripped.
It's the strangest thing.
Because I walk a lot.
No, but yeah, they're right.
There's negative and positive uhaddictions.
Uh for me, uh, I got a lot ofaddictions.
First off, would be smoking,nicotine.
Been doing that since I was alittle kid.
Drinking.
(06:37):
Um swearing.
That's gonna be an addiction.
I don't know if that's anaddiction.
Okay.
Um yeah, I mean, the main twothings are drinking and and and
smoking.
That's the thing.
The two things I can never kicksince I started.
SPEAKER_03 (06:59):
So, what brought you to talk about this today here?
You uh you trying to quit or notsmoke, or does this have to do
with the state of Wisconsin'sridiculous law now where you
can't get vapes in our town?
SPEAKER_01 (07:13):
Yeah, it was it was a tragedy for about a week.
So I didn't take it serious.
In Wisconsin, the governor ofWisconsin declared a no vape
unless USDA approved vape wasin.
SPEAKER_04 (07:28):
Uh oh, so this is a government getting their money
thing.
SPEAKER_01 (07:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:31):
I think so.
SPEAKER_01 (07:32):
And there's no vapes that are USDA approved.
SPEAKER_03 (07:35):
No, I got one.
There are.
Really?
They just got some on the on theapparently there's this one, the
one I got now, it's the guy atthe I asked the guy at the vape
store because I've been notvaping.
What is the name of the vape?
But I was like, I'm goingcamping.
I'm gonna get a um It looksfucking crazy looking.
You can't charge it, it tasteslike trash.
(07:56):
Uh, but it I think it's atobacco derived nicotine.
I don't know.
That's strange.
SPEAKER_01 (08:01):
Okay, so so it's not there's no like uh there's less
liquid chemicals in it.
I have no idea, dude.
SPEAKER_03 (08:07):
It looks weird.
I just huffed the thing when Iwant to huff the thing.
It's I'm addicted to thenicotine.
SPEAKER_01 (08:14):
Yeah, so I didn't tr I didn't believe it was gonna
happen.
SPEAKER_03 (08:17):
All three of us are addicted to nicotine.
SPEAKER_01 (08:19):
Yeah, we all do it.
We all do it.
We try to, you know, keep itdown.
Have you talked to your kidsabout nicotine?
SPEAKER_04 (08:25):
Um well, he talks to me about about it more than I
talk to him about it.
SPEAKER_03 (08:30):
I've taught I talk to my kid almost every day about
it.
SPEAKER_01 (08:33):
So I give the I think I feel like I give the
best example about what the uhthe uh feeling is to be addicted
to nicotine.
Basically, have you ever umplayed a sport and ran around
and got just like you were likeafter you're done, you're
fucking thirsty as shit.
I mean it's been a decade sinceI ran around like that, but
yeah.
(08:54):
You basically you I mean you'reso thirsty you would drink from
a puddle from the ground.
SPEAKER_04 (09:01):
Yeah, that's only happened to me once in my life.
It was the fall of 1987.
I was in an intense two-day-longduck duck goose match.
Why are you laughing?
unknown (09:14):
Duck duck.
SPEAKER_03 (09:16):
I'm intently listening, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (09:19):
I am not anyway.
The duck goosed around thecircle for almost two hours.
I could not catch him.
You know, he could have laughedme if he wanted.
I was the fat kid, but yeah, Iwould I would have literally
drank the sweat off the back ofmy neck.
SPEAKER_01 (09:36):
I'm only laughing, Chris, because I'm envisioning
it in my head, and I can seetotally running and running.
Stop! Slow down.
Oh, Titty's slapping me in mychin.
No, but basically, this is whatit is.
You're so thirsty, but when youfinally get that drink of water,
it's it's that's the feeling ofgetting that hit of nicotine.
(09:57):
Not having the drink of water,like needing it and seeing it in
front of you and taking thedrink, that's the feeling of
nicotine withdrawal and thenactually getting hit.
Does that make sense?
Do you remember the last timeyou were that thirsty?
I don't.
Well, then try it sometime.
Go fucking work out and then belike, it's like every morning I
wake up, dude.
SPEAKER_03 (10:17):
I wake up extremely thirsty.
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Okay, so then basically that would be the the
nicotine uh addiction tonicotine.
SPEAKER_03 (10:27):
I feel like the way I would explain nicotine
addiction is that life is prettyrough as it is, right?
So we go around and everything'sirritating for the most part.
I mean, in general, right?
You you're a perfect life,there's no irritations.
Perfect life doesn't exist,right?
So when you're when likeeverything is irritating you to
(10:49):
the point where like you'reabout to yell at your kid for
tying their shoes the wrong way,because it's not how you would
do it.
Yeah.
If you had a if you go like justgive me a second and take some
nicotine in, come back, it'slike it's everything's okay.
SPEAKER_01 (11:03):
Yeah, that's kind of like more like a release than
actually being addicted to acertain type of chemical, in my
opinion.
SPEAKER_03 (11:10):
And I'm not even sure it's is it the nicotine?
Is nicotine really that bad foryou?
I've heard nicotine actually hasa lot of good health benefits.
I what the hell are you reading?
SPEAKER_01 (11:21):
Uh it does.
It fucks up it fucks up your uhyour your blood flow through
your body.
Does it fuck it up or does itfix it?
SPEAKER_03 (11:30):
It fucks it up.
I think it fixes it.
It's always it restricts theblood flow.
Sweet, sweet nicotine is like,don't worry, bro.
I got you.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
I'll fix your shit up.
It restricts the flow of bloodthrough your body.
Um it ages you can't.
SPEAKER_04 (11:49):
But that's my quickly.
That's one of my biggestproblems is all the blood flow.
To your dick.
Yeah, I'm sick of walking thestreets with a rock hard cock.
Like I need the nicotine to keepit down.
SPEAKER_03 (12:05):
So what about so okay.
Nicotine is definitelysomething.
I would say uh what percentageof people do you think are
nicotine addicted?
SPEAKER_04 (12:18):
I would say it's while we're in the 30s.
SPEAKER_01 (12:20):
Are we gonna do are we gonna do an age group or just
30% of people altogether witheveryone?
I think I think well, I don'tknow.
I wouldn't say 30, no way.
I bet that's I bet it is.
SPEAKER_03 (12:33):
We're three of three here.
Look, that's like saying threeout of Does your wife smoke or
use nicotine or not?
Not at all.
Does yours?
Nope.
Mine does not.
Okay, so that's like saying 10people out of six.
Yeah, it's like, but I mean, I'mjust saying.
Why think about this way wedon't hang out outside here.
It's not like we have the sameclick.
SPEAKER_04 (12:54):
Every every fucking person I see under 30 but over
15 is fucking vaping.
Or putting zins in their lip.
That's totally different, man.
SPEAKER_01 (13:05):
That's that's like a popularity and then uh being
part of the trend.
SPEAKER_04 (13:08):
You asked how many people use nicotine.
I'm talking about the entire Ithink it's zero to fucking a
hundred.
And then you get into that 30 to50 range, and how many people
you know fucking chew tobaccopouches?
I miss nicotine.
That's nicotine.
But that's what I'm saying.
Like, I know I know people thatare hiding it from their
(13:31):
families.
SPEAKER_03 (13:31):
Sure, sure.
SPEAKER_04 (13:32):
I know I know tons of people that fucking use them
little nicotine pouches.
Yeah, and then you look and thenyou get into the older age
group, and every single one ofthem fucking people smoked their
whole lives.
So a big majority of them stilldo.
SPEAKER_03 (13:50):
I was gonna say that the people who've been smoking
for so long, their face lookslike leather, and they're like,
you could tell they used to gothat they're like used to ride
their motorcycle and like rip apack of smokes up in their
shoulder sleeve.
Those guys when they still dothat.
Those guys when they switch andare vaping on these little pink
(14:12):
and fruity fucking things, it ishilarious.
SPEAKER_01 (14:15):
Okay, so when I was when I was like 14 or 15, I was
dating this girl.
She smoked, I didn't.
And I can never I could neverunderstand why her fucking
breath smelled and tasted sobad.
I mean, I'm not sure.
I'm stupid, yeah.
I mean, I thought maybe she justdrank some nasty alcohol.
(14:35):
Because we were yeah we dranktwo.
But like it it didn't click.
It didn't click at all.
It didn't click at all.
I don't know why it didn'tclick, but it didn't.
I just always call her shitbreath.
And but you continued to dateher?
Uh it was, you know, when you'reyoung, it's everything that's
dating is like a monster.
Head game strong.
What does that mean?
(14:57):
Head game strong?
Yeah, what does that mean?
Oh, ask your kid when you gethome.
It's a it's a young term.
Like 76.
Is it 76 or 67?
I think it I think it's uh 67,right?
67.
Yeah, and what does that mean?
I nobody knows.
SPEAKER_03 (15:15):
Nobody knows nobody, nobody's so serious.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
I learned this recently.
SPEAKER_04 (15:20):
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
I know I had I had volleyballcarpool for my kid uh month or
Tuesday this week, and uh Ipicked them all up in uh the
caddy, the convertible.
So I had three kids in the backand then mine in the front, and
(15:42):
the three kids in the back, itwas their first time ever in a
convertible, so they didn't knowhow to act, so they were doing a
lot of arms in the air, likefucking breaking them backwards
and talking to the drivers nextto us, like like they couldn't
do that with a rolled downwindow.
SPEAKER_03 (15:59):
It's totally different though.
SPEAKER_04 (16:01):
And every single person that they talk to, the
conversation either started orended with 6'7.
SPEAKER_03 (16:09):
I gotta know what that is.
I had I had to have thisconversation with these kids.
I'm like, all right, you don'tknow what it is, I don't know
what it is.
I don't say six seven.
They're like, well, it's becauseyou're fucking old, boomer.
And I said, No, because I thinkit's important to realize you
shouldn't use terminology youdon't know the meaning of,
(16:31):
because you could be sayingsomething absolutely ridiculous,
and others could be offended bywhat you're saying, and you
don't even know.
So now they don't say six sevenanymore because they don't know
what it means.
SPEAKER_01 (16:43):
Back to the topic.
So, but those are those arehardcore addictions, the the
drugs, alcohol, and and smoking.
Sure.
But I'm talking about now I wantto like delve back into the
addiction slash uh habit formingthings that you can't get out,
like fucking scratching yourhead every once in a while.
Or you know, while you'rewatching a movie.
I play with my hair as long asI'm watching a movie.
(17:07):
That's how I concentrate.
Basically, like fiddling withsomething is another addiction,
or could it be a just the randomthing I do too?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:20):
Well, you're doing it, although you're you don't
even realize you're doing it,right?
SPEAKER_01 (17:25):
But it's not harmful unless I realize I'm doing it
because my wife's slapping myhand every fucking time I get a
chance to get in there, get inthere.
SPEAKER_03 (17:31):
So like people chew their nails and shit too.
Yeah, that's another one.
My kids do that, it'sdisgusting.
SPEAKER_04 (17:36):
So so there was this guy.
Um I I dealt with him a longtime ago.
He owned a little flooringstore.
I used to buy stuff from him.
Was it little?
I got my I got my little brothera job there.
So my brother worked there for acouple years, and uh this this
guy was a fucking great guy.
(17:58):
And uh it was, you know, outkinda in a country little
suburb, and uh like a real areal cheap area, people didn't
spend a lot of money, like a lotof country people, and uh this
guy had a fucking nervous tick,and all he did was deal with
(18:18):
people, you know, at his store,customers.
What's his what was his nervoustick?
His nervous tick was anytime hetalked to anybody after like ten
seconds, his hand would slowlycome up and he would just start
picking his nose while he wastalking to you.
SPEAKER_01 (18:37):
Get the fuck out of here.
SPEAKER_04 (18:38):
I could call my brother and verify this right
now.
No way.
This yes way.
SPEAKER_01 (18:43):
Okay, wait, wait.
So you when you say nervoustick, like he had a
confrontation with someone, andthat was his way to relieve the
it it was anybody.
If you started talking to himright now about fishing, so it's
not nervous, like an actualconversation that he actually
wanted to converse with youabout something he liked, he'd
(19:04):
start picking his nose.
SPEAKER_04 (19:05):
Anytime I I don't know what the fuck it was, but
anytime you started talking tohim, a finger just slowly went
to his fucking nostril.
There are things every fuckingtime.
Did you ever try grabbing his?
SPEAKER_01 (19:18):
I don't think he even realized he was doing it.
Did you ever try grabbing hishand and take take slowly taking
away from his nose?
Did it go right back to hisnose?
SPEAKER_04 (19:26):
I I never tried it.
Um I don't believe that.
I should probably meet up withhim.
I don't believe that.
SPEAKER_03 (19:35):
It's a fact.
You have a video of it?
He's grabbing his phone.
People will do things like that,like uh when they're talking.
Some people will like play withtheir fingers and roll them
together.
They're not picking the nose ofit, playing with the fingers.
Not even realizing they're doingit.
SPEAKER_01 (19:51):
Okay, well, that I guess maybe, but that's not an
addiction.
That's more of a I'm sure youwould rather not do it.
What would you call that then?
If it's something you can'tconcentrate.
It's an addiction, though.
Because you're not doing it tosatisfy satisfies Jesus Christ.
Can you talk?
You can't concentrate.
SPEAKER_03 (20:08):
Satisfy something.
Yeah, but you can't concentrateon a movie without playing with
your hair.
This guy can't concentrate onhaving a conversation with your
hair.
SPEAKER_01 (20:14):
Yeah, but I know I'm playing with my hair.
SPEAKER_03 (20:17):
He probably knows too, but it just happens.
You can't stop.
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
There's no way.
SPEAKER_03 (20:21):
Why?
There's no way.
Why?
Picking your nose isn't thatgross.
SPEAKER_01 (20:25):
I'm not saying it's gross, but there's no way you
you don't know you're pickingyour nose.
It's impossible.
Keep an eye on that.
And I would I would tell I wouldsay something.
I don't know why you haven'tsaid anything to him.
I I don't know.
This is fucking ridiculous.
SPEAKER_04 (20:43):
It is ridiculous.
It's the most ridiculous.
You're ridiculous.
And I think the thing is, isnobody ever told him he even
does it.
SPEAKER_00 (20:52):
Pretty late.
SPEAKER_04 (20:54):
Unless he's having a conversation with somebody in
front of a mirror.
His mom and how would he know?
His parents are like, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (21:02):
We're used to it.
Thanks for coming over to ourhouse for dinner.
Oh, by the way, Timmy kind ofpicks his nose when he talks.
Just ignore it.
SPEAKER_01 (21:12):
Does he do it when he does anything?
Like when he's eating?
Uh I don't know.
I never ate with him.
But I think that's hard.
That's hard to believe.
You've eaten it with everyoneI've ever met.
SPEAKER_03 (21:27):
It's coming from a guy who can't eat in front of
people.
SPEAKER_04 (21:32):
That's another your d another one of your
addictions, not being able toeat in front of people.
SPEAKER_01 (21:36):
I would say that's that's an adverse addiction.
That would be a negativeaddiction.
SPEAKER_03 (21:41):
I'm trying to think.
Because I I think like that'slike more too looks at like
habits, right?
You'd be more habit.
Like you do it by habit, you doit because you kind of have to,
like a tick, like a thing.
Like Tony, we talked once inthis podcast about how you get
dressed in the morning, and Tonyhas the exact same thing every
(22:02):
time.
And I will sometimes noticethat, like, oh, for four days in
a row, I've put underpants on,then my t-shirt, then my pants.
Let's switch it up and put onthe pants and then go grab a
t-shirt.
Wait, pants underwear?
Switch it.
So, like, I a lot of people havethese things.
I don't know if I do, but I betyou if you ask my wife, she'd be
(22:22):
like, Oh, but what about this?
And what about that?
Because she sees me doing thesethings.
The less the non-harmful stuffthat are like kind of like of an
addiction or like thenon-harmful, non-invasive to
others things that you do.
Unless someone's telling you,you don't even realize you're
doing them.
SPEAKER_01 (22:41):
I will say that one thing that my wife that my wife
has told me that I do that Inever noticed I do is before I
swallow, I'll chew reallyquickly, like and then swallow.
Like every time.
And I've never noticed that.
So, yes, uh, that makes sense.
Okay.
But come on, that's literallybasically in it's not visual to
(23:03):
chew really quickly and swallow.
SPEAKER_04 (23:05):
Visually picking your nose.
Does your wife just like nonstopfollow you around and tell you
everything that's wrong thatit's wrong with everything you
do?
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03 (23:14):
I mean, there are uh see, my wife thinks I do that to
her, and I don't feel like I do.
I can see you doing that there.
You do it to me.
I do work on it.
Do it to me.
I do it to Jay.
SPEAKER_01 (23:27):
Yes, all the time.
I'm like, every time I see you,you're like, Jay, how you doing?
Get taller.
Yeah, you should really work onyour height.
It's gross.
You work on your height.
Jay, how are you doing today?
Whoa, you got a little tallertoday.
Oh no, you're wearing shoes.
SPEAKER_03 (23:44):
But the wife will the one, I mean, that's the
other part of it is that, yeah,if your wife was here, Tony, or
your wife, Jay, that we aremine, and they would tell us.
SPEAKER_01 (23:53):
They're like, this is a great podcast where if our
wives listen, they'll be intheir head going, no, you gotta
tell them about how you imagine,imagine if we bring our wives to
our podcast and had a podcastwith them, the conversations
that would happen.
Or if they would let it happen.
I think they would back off andbe nervous to say anything.
SPEAKER_03 (24:14):
I don't think so.
Not yours?
Nah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:16):
My wife would, unless you got like her angry.
I think she's asked.
If you got her angry, she'd beshe'd let you know.
Kate's asked to be a part of thepodcast.
She can come whenever she wants.
No, she can't.
Okay, and she can never come.
Never ever.
Never.
SPEAKER_04 (24:32):
Yeah.
Trying to think of it.
I don't know, but yeah.
So a long time ago, we on one ofour various podcasts.
Like last month.
Um when we talked about morningroutines and and things like
that.
And I brought up the fact thatmy morning routine is identical
(24:53):
every day, regardless of where Iam, what I'm doing.
I I shit the same way.
SPEAKER_01 (25:00):
Let me ask you this, Rogue, before you finish that.
SPEAKER_03 (25:02):
For those at home, Tony faces the tank.
SPEAKER_01 (25:06):
Yeah.
You know why I think that's sofunny?
Because I'm visualizing it rightnow.
Yeah.
And he has a mirror behind histoilet.
Like, he's looking at doing agood job today, boy.
SPEAKER_04 (25:19):
Today's your day.
SPEAKER_01 (25:19):
Fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Go ahead.
Finish Tony.
But uh, you know maybe fuckingget off track.
SPEAKER_04 (25:26):
I do I do everything identically every fucking day.
You know, I wake up, hit myvape, go to the bathroom, take a
shit, turn on the shower.
SPEAKER_01 (25:40):
Is it at the exact same situation?
SPEAKER_04 (25:41):
Well that's the same time.
Well that's no, not at the sametime.
No, I'm saying like you wake upat the same time.
No.
Okay.
Uh I start up the shower, andwhile that's getting warm, I
brush my teeth, then I get intothe shower, then I dry off, I
get dressed the same way everytime.
And Chris told me I'm a fuckinglunatic and that he mixes it up.
SPEAKER_03 (26:05):
And uh, I'm in the minority, I think.
I I think most people do.
SPEAKER_04 (26:10):
So there was there was like a long stretch of time
where I tried doing my routinedifferently, where I like tried
breaking my routine.
Because I'm like, well, if Chriscan do it, anybody can when you
say long stretch, how long liketwo days in a row.
Seem like an eternity.
But you know, like I triedputting on my socks before my
(26:33):
underwear, and I'm just like,this doesn't feel right.
Well, that's weird.
And I got yeah, you don't wantto go ill logic.
SPEAKER_01 (26:39):
Yeah, you get you always gotta pick the socks
last.
SPEAKER_04 (26:43):
Well, I don't see a more logical way to do it.
I mean, I'm not gonna take ashit after I take a shit.
But you know, like the other dayI put on my shirt before my
pants, and I was like, the fuckam I doing right now?
SPEAKER_03 (26:59):
I do that every day.
That's crazy.
That's nearly that is normal.
No, normal behavior for me is towith the dressing, it's grab the
underpants, then a t-shirt.
I feel like something's wrong.
And then I get myself together,and then actually my work shirt,
my overshirt, does go on nearlylast typically.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
I feel something was wrong with me because if I find
my shirt, it does whatever Ifind first, I put on.
Yeah, you got a weird pilesystem.
When I wa when I go to bed, Itake my clothes off and not
throw them.
Uh I slightly throw them around.
Not throw.
Say that twice though.
(27:39):
You just put them where I don'tremember when then when I find
them, I put them back on inseparate.
SPEAKER_02 (27:46):
Um what happened when you went into that?
SPEAKER_04 (27:51):
It just didn't feel right, so now I know that I'm
addicted to my morning routine.
You can't change it.
I can't change it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:59):
Okay, so then there you go.
You have an addiction that youdidn't even know you well, you
know you had it, but we'remaking light here at the
crackest.
SPEAKER_04 (28:09):
I figured that the things that I do in the morning
in the order in which I do themare just completely normal.
SPEAKER_01 (28:17):
Well, they say uh what what's the word for it?
Something about animal ofhabitat?
No.
Creature of habit.
Of habit?
SPEAKER_03 (28:27):
Yeah, I don't like I hate I don't hate much, but it's
like you're so close.
SPEAKER_01 (28:33):
I was so far off, but you guys know what I'm
talking about because it's mylanguage.
SPEAKER_03 (28:37):
When I find something creature of habit is
starting to become repetitive, Iintentionally try to change it.
Oh no, I love the repetition.
I'm no see I'm addicted torepetition.
SPEAKER_04 (28:50):
You heard it here first.
SPEAKER_03 (28:51):
So I'll say, like, since I had this new car, I
always put my backpack in theback seat.
So I go to the front door,unlock it with my hand, go into
the back seat, put the put thebackpack on the back seat, close
the backseat door, get into thefront seat on a separate door.
SPEAKER_04 (29:10):
You're you're like an executive at a large company.
Sure.
And it's funny that in in thisday and age, uh, printed
t-shirts and backpacks havereplaced suits and briefcases.
SPEAKER_03 (29:27):
But I I even like the last few days, I'm like, I
gotta do something differenthere.
I don't want to keep doing it.
SPEAKER_04 (29:34):
Yeah, but you don't want to you don't want to take
the chance of sliding thatbackpack against your fine
Corinthian leather.
SPEAKER_03 (29:40):
Well, I know.
So like what you know, frontseat was my first thought.
Like, I'll just put it in thepassenger seat as I get in.
But then I'm wisping thisbackpack across all of this.
SPEAKER_04 (29:51):
Who knows?
One of your carabiners might getcaught in a leather seat.
Exactly.
You never know.
SPEAKER_03 (29:56):
So I think I'm gonna go trunk next.
SPEAKER_04 (29:58):
Yeah, no, you gotta go trunk, but.
The other part is I've realizedno, then you lift up the floor
mat and put it by the sparetire.
No, I see how that feels.
SPEAKER_03 (30:06):
See, I was thinking to myself too.
Then I was like, why the hell amI carrying this backpack around?
Every single time I go to work,I put it now in a new spot
because I got sick of the oldspot, but I put it down and I
don't think I ever really go init.
I really don't need it.
I really want to.
Emergency snacks and an extrapair of underwear.
(30:28):
Exactly, basically.
And so now I'm like, you knowwhat?
I'm gonna do is not carry thebag at all.
See how it feels, dude.
I don't know if you've seen myeyes there.
SPEAKER_04 (30:38):
They got crazy.
SPEAKER_03 (30:39):
I mean, they go out without extra pens, snaps, lens
wipes, paper, pen.
SPEAKER_01 (30:47):
I wonder, like uh the three of us, you guys seem
habit forming as far as ritualsin the morning or things you do
out throughout the day.
SPEAKER_03 (30:56):
I want to be as free as you.
I I do not ever want to get intothe Tony zone.
So I find these I know theballs.
You're gonna give me anxiety.
I'm I see these things that havebecome routine.
I'm like, oh fuck, I gottachange this shit before it
becomes a habit.
SPEAKER_01 (31:11):
I kind of I'm a little jealous though, because I
I have no uh I'm not a creatureof habit as far as like rituals,
as far as getting ready or doingthings uh physically at all.
SPEAKER_03 (31:24):
There's gotta be some things that have been the
same.
SPEAKER_01 (31:27):
I can't think about anything that I do that is.
SPEAKER_03 (31:30):
Like when you go to bed, do you like put your phone
in the same spot plugged intothe charger?
SPEAKER_01 (31:37):
Yes, the only thing I do is I plug it, I plug
usually digs it out of a couchcushion in the morning.
Um sometime most of the time I'mlooking for my phone or and the
cord because I have three catsagain, and they fucking play
with it and rip it apart andfucking I can't find it.
SPEAKER_04 (31:51):
I hope nobody from your building listens to this.
They find out you got three catsand you own paid a security
deposit on Walton.
SPEAKER_01 (31:59):
Do you not know that no one knows my name there?
I'm James, Jared, and Jacob.
No one knows my name is Jason.
You're the only white guy there.
SPEAKER_03 (32:09):
James, Jacob.
SPEAKER_01 (32:11):
Jeremy, did you say?
You're calling him Jeremiah.
I'll tell you right now, I've Ilost track of all the J's, but
it's a J.
That's the only thing they getright, is the J.
They could just get rid of theletters in the screen.
But yeah, uh I never have aroutine as far as getting
dressed, getting up, doingthings in the morning, doing
things before night.
(32:32):
Everything is always different.
Always a different time.
Sometimes I'll play FIFA untilmidnight.
Sometimes I'll I'll watchfootball till it's done and I'll
fall asleep on the couch.
Yeah, right now they're justplaying right now.
San Francisco and uh LA Chubb L.
SPEAKER_03 (32:50):
What about that addiction?
Your gambling addiction.
SPEAKER_04 (32:53):
That that actually That's why he wanted to record
this podcast and talk about hisgambling addiction.
So it must not be going goodthis year.
Uh I watched both of these weirdass Packer games that happened,
and you gotta be losing someone.
SPEAKER_01 (33:09):
No, I never been in the Packers.
I won$500 last week.
Coming from kind of lost.
But I'm down like the weekbefore.
Already?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's only fourth week.
It's four, it's week four.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (33:24):
Week five coming on week five.
Anyway.
Still a lot of weeks to redeemyourself.
Go big or go home.
SPEAKER_01 (33:32):
But again, that's another habit that could be
positive or negative.
Like another gambling habit.
It's always negative.
SPEAKER_04 (33:38):
If you're winning, even if you're winning, it's
negative.
SPEAKER_03 (33:42):
I heard something about how you can easily double
or triple or quadruple yourmoney, but you can never lose
more than a hundred percent.
I mean, you can 400% win, butyou can only 100% loss.
I can't lose more thaneverything.
SPEAKER_01 (34:02):
Damn, Chris, that's gonna be my new slogan.
I'm gonna tattoo that on my ass.
I like that.
I never heard that before, butthat makes sense.
I mean, it's true.
SPEAKER_03 (34:09):
Yeah, it's awesome.
You can put$100 on number six ona roulette table, and it'll hit,
and you will win 32 times yourmoney or 34 times your money.
But you can only lose$100.
SPEAKER_01 (34:25):
You can't lose more than I'm gonna tell you, yes,
how you can lose more than 100%of the game.
That's not gambling.
That's voting and federalsharking.
And when you go on FanDuel anduse a credit card to put money
in your APR and you lose it all,yeah, there's a hundred percent.
That's not true.
SPEAKER_03 (34:44):
That's not gambling, that's being an idiot.
SPEAKER_01 (34:46):
Yes, but that's over 100% right gone.
SPEAKER_03 (34:48):
That's not gambling less than more than 100%.
But that makes sense, and I lovethat saying, Chris.
SPEAKER_01 (34:55):
The odds are in your favor, man.
Gamble away, folks.
But if you go into anywhere withcash, you're never gonna lose
more than 100%.
Okay.
You can't, you literally can't.
SPEAKER_03 (35:10):
Is there a way?
No, let's figure out.
Except for being stupid andtaking money you don't have,
then yes.
If you don't have it, youalready are losing.
You're you're like immediatelyhere.
Can I get a loan for threegrand?
You're immediately$3,000 in thehole.
Immediately.
So you're already lost.
You're not gambling anymore,you're just being an idiot.
SPEAKER_01 (35:32):
So any so any smaller addictions or habits do
you guys feel like that you havethat I would like to know.
Uh, because I want to know yourhabits.
SPEAKER_04 (35:41):
I'm addicted to codeine cough syrup.
There you go.
We call it lean.
Who here is addicted to porn?
Nah.
Honestly, I have not watchedporn in several years.
Let me ask you why.
SPEAKER_01 (35:54):
Or let me ask you why I'm asking you.
Why are you asking us, Jay?
I want to know first.
SPEAKER_04 (36:01):
Tony, tell me why.
I feel like I feel like porn uhkind of like fills a need that I
don't need.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (36:14):
I've heard that if you watch too much porn, you
can't get it up when you finallyget to the situation that you
want to get into.
SPEAKER_04 (36:23):
I mean, all of it, all of it is like, oh man, I
can't wait for my mom to getremarried so I can get a hot
stepsister.
And there's too many likestraight on giant shots.
SPEAKER_01 (36:35):
Somewhat shots?
Makes you uncomfortable.
Way.
SPEAKER_03 (36:39):
No, I would say people certainly a society, our
society is addicted to sex andlike sexual imaging.
Like you can't watch two hoursof TV without seeing, and
probably even 20 minutes of TV,without seeing the commercial
that's like completely sexualinto.
SPEAKER_01 (36:58):
I want both of you to be honest about this.
How many times have youclickbaited clicked something?
What is clickbaited clicked?
SPEAKER_03 (37:05):
Like you see a picture where it's like a girl's
boobs in the picture, so youclick it to see what's more.
Oh, every time.
I mean, what are you what areyou talking about, dude?
You know when they were alwayslike, don't go into the van just
because the guy's got candy,kids.
SPEAKER_01 (37:25):
And how disappointed do you get when every time
picture?
No, that picture that youclicked on was never in the
video.
SPEAKER_03 (37:31):
Yeah, well, that happens in all kinds of things.
That's not just sexual.
SPEAKER_01 (37:36):
That's like Tony, you're can't wait till you see
this.
SPEAKER_03 (37:40):
Yeah, it's just a good thumbnail.
SPEAKER_01 (37:41):
You're pretty quiet there, Tony.
What about you?
SPEAKER_04 (37:44):
I don't click on shit on my phone.
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
You just let the reels run?
Yeah.
So you're that you're a bandit?
Just go.
You're a real bandit.
Just go.
So you put them together, it's areal bandit.
Meaning you just turn reels onand let them just let it go.
SPEAKER_04 (38:03):
You're a real bandit.
Uh they keep going?
Yeah, like I don't hand selectthe reels I want to.
What's reels on?
Face.
But really, that's yeah.
Anywhere you find reels.
That's that's really the onlything I use.
I mean, aside from phone calls,I could get rid of my phone.
SPEAKER_01 (38:19):
I mean, it's it's so fucking great that when I call
or text you, you don't reply.
I do reply.
No, not right away.
Ever.
And when you do, if you ever doreply right away, you do I'll
call you back in a minute.
Like and then that's automated.
Yeah, an automated text that youclick and he doesn't call me
back till the next day.
(38:39):
And maybe not even until I callhim back again.
SPEAKER_03 (38:42):
That should be a feature on those machines.
Like your car will tell you,like, tell him to call back.
You click it, whatever, toauto-reply.
It should remind you.
So he gets mad that actually myphone does remind you.
SPEAKER_01 (38:53):
Do you want to reply to this?
It'll show up in my scan.
So he gets mad that I don't go,I don't do stuff that he asks me
to do.
But like the simple thing ofreplying to a text or a phone
call is a lot easier thanshowing up to a fucking party.
I don't know.
That's relative, bro.
SPEAKER_03 (39:08):
That is super relative.
It's way easier for me to showup at a party than texting.
Fucking bullshit.
For sure.
SPEAKER_01 (39:15):
You are so full of cheap.
SPEAKER_03 (39:17):
I will way show up to the city.
SPEAKER_01 (39:18):
It's so much easier to show up to a party than it is
to reply to a text or a phonecall.
SPEAKER_03 (39:22):
People will be like, hey, I'm having a party on
Saturday night.
Swing by, here's the address, 830.
Let me know if you're coming.
So you don't reply.
A crew of 10 together, go tothat party and show up, and the
guy will be like, Oh, I didn'tknow you were gonna come.
I'd be like, I told you I wasgonna come.
I got all these people with me.
No, you didn't reply.
No, you didn't reply.
(39:43):
I'll be like, oh shit, you knowyou're right.
I just can't.
Way easier to come to a partythan to reply to a party invite.
What do you say about this,Tony?
SPEAKER_04 (39:53):
I think you were slightly in your feelings
because you agreed to come to mycampground this weekend.
Oh, yeah.
And now immediately backpedaledwhen you knew the fucking date.
Wait, no, because uh you told meit was not possible and not a
fucking camper.
And now you're using it as as athing to say, well, it's you
(40:14):
know, all you had to do wasreply to me.
It's not like you actually hadto like physically go someplace
and actually do something.
SPEAKER_01 (40:21):
Okay, but right now, what makes more sense?
My argument or Chris's?
I'm gonna say mine.
SPEAKER_04 (40:27):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Get the fuck out of here.
Say the truth.
There's no unreplied to textmessages in my phone from you.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
SPEAKER_01 (40:37):
No, no, I didn't say unreplied, I said like days
later.
That is basically unreplied, inmy opinion.
That's definitely a reply.
But that's uh Tony, I need toknow something today, two days
later.
Oh yeah, this is the answer tothat thing you need to know two
days earlier.
SPEAKER_04 (40:58):
No, that's not a reply.
Sorry, I'm gonna make anautomatic text that I can
assign.
That just says I'm working onit, bro.
SPEAKER_03 (41:10):
I think the greatest addiction to circle back, sir,
sure, is downloading top shelfstories podcasts.
They're available everywhereeverywhere.
SPEAKER_04 (41:24):
My phone knows I'm so addicted to this podcast that
every two automaticallydownloads it.
SPEAKER_01 (41:30):
Here's the greatest thing is I asked them about the
last two weeks of shows and Isaid, What did you think about
our last week?
Because you should listen to ourshow.
It's your fucking show.
What was the show?
I don't what are you talkingabout?
We have a show.
SPEAKER_03 (41:43):
I haven't listened to anything fantasy football
podcast in probably two weeks,to be honest with you.
Should be listening to your ownshow to take critiques.
What'll happen is like I'm doingsomething in the yard or
whatever, or doing somethingwith the headphone in and
listening to podcasts, and it'llgo to like two or three
different fantasy football ones,and then all of a sudden I'll
(42:04):
hear this music, and it's mypodcast coming into my ears.
It's actually kind of coolbecause it's like, oh wow, I'm
right up with these other guysfrom ESPN and CBS Sports or
whatever.
SPEAKER_01 (42:17):
You know it.
We picked the best music.
We we had the best stories.
What else do we do?
SPEAKER_03 (42:22):
What do we what else do we do?
That's Top Shelf StoriesPodcasts will cure your
addictions.
Oh my god, Chris, that'samazing.
Listen to us every Tuesday foradvice, hot takes, and some
camaraderie.
SPEAKER_04 (42:35):
Yeah, we'll do a separate podcast about my brief
addiction to crack cocaine.
SPEAKER_03 (42:40):
Bangarade.
That's a good one.
For subscribers, hit the bell.
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