March 11, 2025 • 36 mins
This episode delves into the unique experience of growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, exploring themes of upbringing, faith, and rebellion. Through personal anecdotes, hosts discuss the profound impact of restrictive beliefs on social interactions, mental health, and the journey toward personal freedom.
• Exploring the restrictive upbringing within Jehovah's Witness faith
• The absence of holiday celebrations and their emotional effects
• Understanding disfellowshipping and its psychological implications
• Anecdotes of rebellion after leaving strict norms
• Clarifying misunderstandings about the Jehovah's Witness community
• A reminder of the importance of personal growth and connection
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chris (00:00):
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Jay (00:27):
So how religious are you guys?
Hit me again.
Chris (00:35):
I would say mild, strong in my belief.
I am not practicing anyreligion at this time.
Jay (00:40):
When's the last time you've been to church?
Probably 10 years years no, notthat many tony this year.
Okay, it was it for, like, uh,jesus birthday or some shit or
something like that.
No birthdays involved.
So imagine being three yearsold and going to to church three
(01:03):
times a week and also goingdoor to door on every saturday
what were you selling dildosnice that's your new word, tony
cross dildos.
Okay, so this?
Chris (01:19):
is uh.
So it was church, church,church, church, church, church,
church.
Go tell other people aboutchurch.
Tony (01:24):
Yeah, exactly, so here's my question for you Were you
religious, or was it just yourparents?
Jay (01:33):
My dad was not, my mother was, and we were forced into it.
Tony (01:37):
My brother and my sister Right, but I'm saying did you
believe what was being taught?
Jay (01:42):
I'm three years old, fuck no.
Tony (01:43):
Were you on board with it.
Well, I know this carried intoyour teenage years.
Jay (01:48):
Okay, I'm talking about being a Jehovah's Witness.
There's a lot of differentstereotypes about it and
different ideas of how it is,but it's sometimes way worse.
I was going to say sometimesit's not the truth, but
sometimes it's way worse.
I don't think any kid nowadayswe started.
Chris (02:11):
Do you have a historical?
You should pull up some data onthe Jehovah Witness.
Jay (02:15):
It started in 1860s.
I think I forgot the name ofthe guy that started the
religion.
Chris (02:25):
It was probably Jehovah.
Jay (02:26):
It's a branch off.
I mean Jehovah, God, Jehovah isanother name for God and it's
been that way for a long time.
Basically, we started, you know, on football.
They used to kneel for thenational anthem and all that.
Jehovah's Witnesses startedthat shit.
In school we were not allowed.
Charles Taze, Russell, Is it 18something, 1864?
Chris (02:52):
That's when Columbus sailed the ocean.
Yeah, 19th century what?
Tony (02:57):
What the fuck are you talking?
Jay (02:58):
about.
So I was Jehovah's Witnessgrowing up, never celebrated
holidays.
They were a pagan holiday orthey were pagans celebrated them
, so we did not celebrate them.
Never had christmas birthdays.
Fucking anything, everythingand anything.
Chris (03:16):
1917 1917 those are false prophets or something right, I
don't know I didn't.
Jay (03:21):
You know what this is.
Tony (03:22):
Probably there's never the truth, you know so is this a
ploy by your parents becausethey didn't have money for gifts
?
Chris (03:30):
jehovah's witnesses are known for door-to-door preaching
, distributing literature suchas the watchtower and awake, and
for refusing military serviceand blood transfusions.
What's up with your?
Jay (03:41):
blood bro.
Oh yeah, okay.
So if, for some reason, I gotin some type of accident or I
needed a transfusion for bloodor I would die, you would.
Your parents would let you dieif you didn't get it.
If you needed blood, if youneeded blood, yes, your blood is
sake so sacred to them that youare not supposed to let any
(04:01):
other type of d blood so forthinto your.
Chris (04:04):
Did you ever get shunned?
Or are you shunned now?
Jay (04:08):
I was never baptized.
You have to be baptized to beshunned.
Chris (04:11):
Oh, you didn't.
Jay (04:12):
I didn't get baptized.
My mother was baptized, so sheshunned?
Tony (04:17):
Yeah, because I know she took in some fake blood when she
got those fake titties.
Chris (04:21):
Members are not.
She's got a lot more than fakeblood.
Members are not allowed tosocialize with a shunned
individual.
Jay (04:28):
You are cast out like the leopard.
Tony (04:32):
I think it's just leopard Leopard yeah.
I think leopard is the actualanimal.
Chris (04:37):
This doesn't sound culty at all but I'm going to give you
one more sentence.
Shunned individuals mayeventually be reinstated if
deemed repentant.
Former members may experiencesignificant mental distress as a
result of being shunned, andsome seek reinstatement just to
(04:57):
keep contact with their friendsyeah, you got a family, that's
not culty at all, dude.
Jay (05:02):
No, you gotta, you gotta if you're a woman, you gotta suck
a couple times you just tookthat out of my mouth and, uh,
you're back into good graces,okay, so basically, no holidays,
no hanging out with people thatare not jehovah's witnesses,
unless it's, you know, school orotherwise that's why we never
became friends as kids.
Chris (05:23):
Jay, yeah, imagine all the fun trouble we could have
gotten in our 20s if I hadn'tbeen a fucking disassociated now
you know why you sent me thosebirthday cards to come to your
birthday and I couldn't come.
Jay (05:35):
Yeah, I don't remember that never had birthdays, never had
nothing, dude.
So the first time I was, I puta christmas tree up.
I was 25 and it was.
It was exciting.
It was like holy shit, it'skind of cool.
Two years later, I fucking hatedoing this shit.
I never, ever, ever put thechristmas tree up.
My wife puts it up right afterfucking halloween it's
(05:57):
ridiculous we have more than one.
Tony (05:59):
I had some family that was jehovah's witnesses and uh they
weren't family, they didn'tcall you family, you weren't
family, they were yeah, so thedad was a mean son of a bitch
about the fucking meanest personI ever met.
Um, unfortunately, he uhcommitted suicide just a few
(06:23):
years ago.
Jeez, louise it's he was even.
Jay (06:26):
That's against.
That's against jehovah's uh law, and if they do that, they will
not be resurrected what a way.
Chris (06:33):
So he was a jackass his whole life because of this shit,
and then he fucking lost it atthe and line I remember my aunt
gave my little brother a stuffedanimal for his birthday.
Tony (06:47):
She snuck it to him.
Like I remember this, I wasmaybe like 10 years old and it
was super fucking sneaky likeshe carried it out to the car
under her shirt.
She like leaned into the carwindow hoping nobody had seen
her and she gave the stuffedanimal to my little brother said
happy birthday and then shewent in the house and uh, he had
(07:08):
seen it, and beat the fuck outof her for celebrating a holiday
.
Yeah, especially with anon-jehovah, are you fucking
kidding, like?
And she I mean to this day myaunt still defends him there's
eccentric and there is, there'sover, exaggerated and over.
(07:31):
I don't whatever word I'mlooking for, people that yeah,
and any religion, dude or any inlife itself, it doesn't matter
what you're in, but I don't know, I don't even know if this, if
the beatens and shit were, werelike masked behind the Jehovah's
Witness blanket.
Jay (07:46):
I think he would have done that regardless.
Tony (07:48):
I think he just fucking really enjoyed being really
abusive to everybody he knewit's terrible.
Jay (07:55):
You should have slapped him around.
Tony (07:57):
That dude would have beat my ass.
First off way more experiencehad beaten people's ass than me
when I was like 10.
I'm going to tell you thatright now he had.
So his youngest son was likethree years older than me and
(08:19):
his oldest son was I don't know,maybe like 10 years older than
me.
And when we were kids the olderson was like really big into
like DJing and he bought allthese turntables and mixers and
all this shit.
And I just remember his dad goton some shit one day, was
(08:41):
really fucking pissed.
Got on some shit one day, wasreally fucking pissed, and went
up and took all this dude's shitand just bounced it all down
the stairs, just fuckingdestroyed everything this kid
had.
And that's that's how I imagineit is inside of every jehovah's
witness household.
No jesus, no peace.
(09:02):
No jesus, your shit's gonna getfucked up.
Jay (09:06):
Let me ask you this quick, do you, do you think my dad
would ever do that your dadwasn't a jehovah?
Tony (09:12):
I think, I think your mom was the abuser in this household
.
That's what I was gonna say.
Jay (09:17):
Yeah, I think your mom used to beat the fuck out of all
four of you, so basically wewould go to the the meetings he
would work and we would neversee him because we come home
from the meetings like they'reliterally right after class.
Tony (09:31):
They're fucking three days a week and three days a week of
church, yeah, I, I mean, I justimagine your mean ass mom
bouncing you two boys togetherlike fucking marching band
symbols.
Jay (09:43):
Yeah just on the daily just fucking beating you guys she
didn't make us wear the sameoutfit and, uh, we had to wear a
suit and tie.
If you did not go in there withthe suit and tie, you were not
a nice thing.
Tony (09:54):
He says he never grew out of them.
Looks like I won't have to buyhim a new suit this year I'll
tell you what, though.
Jay (10:06):
I can tie a tie in three seconds.
Tony (10:10):
That's what I got for the job that fast, but, uh, I can do
it without looking in themirror now oh my god, really
cool for wow well, I tie a tieonce every year and a half maybe
, dude I taught my dad how totie a tie.
Jay (10:25):
You know what?
You tie it for them and justput it around their neck and
then pull it tight.
Chris (10:30):
He used to keep his ties all loosened and tightened, and
loosened, and tightened and hungup.
He would never untie them.
Jay (10:36):
You know there's a talent to it because there's two parts
to the tie.
Obviously there's that littleskinny part and you don't want
the little skinny part to getlonger than the fat part,
otherwise it looks fucked up.
It just looks stupid, likesomething's wrong with you if
you make that longer.
Tony (10:49):
You just look like Chris Farley on a Saturday Night.
Jay (10:52):
Live skit Down by the river .
Yeah, so yeah again.
Never celebrated holidays.
I've never been the one to bemad about, like it never made me
mad growing up being one wasnot being able to play sports.
Tony (11:11):
Organized sports.
Jay (11:13):
Organized sports.
Chris (11:15):
Fake family rule.
Is that why?
You fall under the fake idolrule.
Jay (11:20):
I can play sports, but it's got to be against Jehovah's
Witnesses.
They all sucked, so I was likethe best.
Now, when I came back to doingsports and gym at school, I had
some competition because theyweren't Jehovah's Witnesses.
They are fucking running aroundwith a suit and tie and fucking
penny loafers.
So I had a little competitionin school.
Tony (11:39):
They didn't start calling it till it was a quad dribble.
Chris (11:43):
What is the Jehovah's opinion of the Amish?
Amish.
Tony (11:48):
Yeah, idols, I would say it's another.
Chris (11:54):
Okay.
Jay (11:55):
Any other religion besides Jehovah's Witnesses wrong.
So is Amish a religion, or is?
Tony (11:59):
that just a lifestyle.
I feel like every religionfeels that.
Jay (12:05):
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Tony (12:06):
They're the only ones that are specific.
Chris (12:08):
It just sounds and seems a lot similar, just with a few
different rules well, yeah, wecould use electronics to drive
vehicles and.
But some of the amish can too,just not the mennonite amish.
There you go.
Tony (12:18):
Yeah, you're right I think mennonite can.
Is that what it is?
Chris (12:22):
yeah, okay, I I'm naive, so forgive me.
Tony (12:26):
for anyone, the best is.
Every couple years I hear thestory of an Amish dude getting
drunk, driving with his horse.
What?
Well, because they drive on theroad, it's a controlled?
Jay (12:37):
Where else is it supposed to drive with the horse On the
sidewalk?
Chris (12:44):
Yeah, but you can't be drunk in control of a one horse
power vehicle operating a onehorse.
Jay (12:47):
But I like this.
But some some op a, if you'rerich, you got two or three.
You got two or three horsesokay, so go on.
Couldn't play sports um, inschool, when they had, uh, you
know how, when you were in gradeschool and you had the parties
for halloween, christmas, um,all those different holidays, I
I'd have to go into the librarythe whole fucking day.
My mom wouldn't let me stayhome.
(13:08):
Oh, at school, yeah.
So she wouldn't let me stayhome, like knowing that all day
long I'd have to be in thelibrary playing Oregon Trail and
the fucking floppy diskcomputer.
Chris (13:18):
I think I remember a few of you in my school.
Jay (13:23):
Dude, we get made fun of.
Did you go to General Mitchell?
Chris (13:26):
Yeah, oh, then you were the people I remember from grade
school.
Jay (13:32):
How is a grade or two ahead of you, though they're like
this loser loves books.
Tony (13:36):
I don't know when are you.
I graduated in 2000.
Chris (13:38):
How many grades did you miss then?
I graduated the same year asyou Did you.
Yeah, I'm just younger than youare by a year.
Jay (13:47):
Okay, anyway, so yeah we were in the same class.
Chris (13:49):
You were the kid that had to leave every time I brought a
treat in Mom's like what do youwant to do for that stupid
Jehovah kid?
I'm like I don't know.
I guess he hollied his fuckingshit.
Jay (13:58):
You know what's funny about that?
My brother and sister we talkedabout that not too long ago and
they were like I was like dude,it sucked in school where I
couldn't grab the treat, likekids bringing cookies or
whatever it was.
Your sister is probably mybrother's grade and my sister
and my brother were like whatare you talking about, jay?
(14:18):
We always took it.
I'm like what?
Chris (14:21):
Yeah, they were like fuck that, jay.
15 years.
Tony (14:24):
I was talking with your brother about this too, so it
was just you, I never took itever not one time.
Chris (14:30):
I'm going to have to find the old third and fourth grade
fucking books and see if.
Jay (14:34):
Jay's in there, Dude.
I was there from first grade tofifth grade.
Chris (14:40):
Did you have Mr McGinnis?
In fifth grade Was that Spurka.
No, fifth grade.
Do you have Mr McGinnis infifth grade?
Was that?
Jay (14:47):
Spurka, no, mcginnis is the one who had the carousel wheel
in his room, I know.
Tony (14:49):
McGinnis, your brother said that he made the rules on
which things he could andcouldn't participate.
Chris (14:56):
He would just tell the teacher he didn't want to.
Tony (14:59):
He's like I got asked every year well, how come you
can do this one, but youcouldn't do the last one?
Do you really want me to teachyou?
Chris (15:07):
I'll come over on Saturday.
Tony (15:10):
He's like no, my mom said this one was OK.
Jay (15:13):
Yeah, and I didn't know that little trick.
I just fucking listen to therules.
Chris (15:18):
Your brother left you hanging dude.
Jay (15:20):
He didn't fucking tell me that little trick.
Tony (15:30):
I could have had cookies and donuts fucking every other
day of the year.
No, I'm not sure.
Yeah, I don't know.
I I just when I close my eyes Ipicture the jehovah's witnesses
having a lot of like peanutallergies and stuff it's a lot
of weak immune systems andanother thing we couldn't do is
we couldn't go to dances.
Jay (15:43):
So, like girls would ask me to go to dances and I you know,
I'm a fucking joe was witnessfirst off nobody asked you to go
to a dance dudes would tease me.
You're gay, that's why I don'twant to go with her.
Really, like no dude.
What are you talking about, man?
I was a fucking diamond in therough.
All the women came out to me,they full beard are you really
(16:03):
not going?
Are you really not gonna gowith me to the?
Tony (16:09):
to the prom jay.
Jay (16:10):
They just invited you because they assumed you could
buy liquor I went to actually Iwent to two proms when I was 22
whoa uh chaperoning right, nodiddy no, it was great, it was
fun time.
That's what they say now no,couldn't go to dances, couldn't
do any of the holidays at schooland, uh, you couldn't hang out
(16:32):
with kids after school unless ithad to do with a project that
you were doing for a class.
I could go to someone's house.
Then I could go to their houseand hang out like so, then I
would do shit like that.
I would say, hey, we're gonna,we're doing a science project,
blah, blah, blah.
So I'd go to my friends, I'dhang out, hang out with them
because of that.
Besides that, yeah, you neverhad friends.
Only friends you could havewere jehovah's witnesses.
Um, you couldn't talk to girls,you couldn't be any.
(16:55):
Everything there's like there'srestrictions to every fucking
thing.
You did so.
Now that you know, when I got toan age where I was not a
jehovah's witness anymore youknow 18 and beyond I moved out.
When I was 17, I fucking wentnuts.
I did everything and anything Icould.
You know I did terrible, dumbshit.
I almost died so many timesbecause I rebelled, because I
(17:17):
followed the fucking rules,unlike my brother.
You went on ramadan what's that?
Tony (17:23):
that's where the year they give the amish to go live in
the real world a year they givethem a year.
Jay (17:31):
Yeah, is that kind of like the purge?
Tony (17:36):
kind of, but after the year they get to decide whether
or not they want to return to alife of nothingness.
Jay (17:45):
I've heard that word before and if that's the truth, I
don't think it's a year.
I think that that's yourmisunderstanding or
misunderstood something.
There's no way.
Chris (17:54):
It's a year long, he's our tech guy's reaching for his
phone now to prove or disprovewho's correct, so so you did you
have a go ahead, go ahead.
No, I was actually asked me aquestion.
I'd rather say are you gonna?
So you've Disprove who'scorrect, so you have a Go ahead,
go ahead.
No, I was actually Ask me aquestion, ed.
So you've elected not tocontinue this trail after your
own private Ramadan, I think.
(18:16):
So what is the percentages thatyou are to do with the reason
I'm getting mailings from ahandwritten letters?
I got one of those too now,written from Jehovah's.
You know what's fucking weird?
We showed them.
Tony (18:33):
I was a little off on my days.
I was 335 days off, so I waspretty close so a month, one day
, one month, one month, onemonth.
Jay (18:44):
Okay 30 days I was going to say a year seems a little
stretched, Anyway.
Okay, so here's a funny kind ofthing.
Like my neighbor is a Jehovah'sWitness Now, yeah, and she
doesn't even know my name, shecalls me James Does she, yeah,
well, no.
I yeah, and she doesn't evenknow my name.
Chris (19:05):
She calls me james, does she yeah?
Tony (19:07):
well, no, I'm sure this dude you don't think she knows
you're laughing at someone onyour phone.
Chris (19:10):
I'm retarded you don't think she knows dude?
Yeah, it has nothing to do withwhat you were talking about I
was like he started laughingreally hard off for no reason.
Tony (19:21):
Go ahead fucking say it, dude, every no people can't read
your mind yeah, don't justlaugh and not say nothing so
ramadan actually has to do withsaudi arabia saudi arabia.
Arabia, uh, not um.
What is the amish?
Jay (19:41):
okay, so we both or Chris you referenced Ramadan as well.
Chris (19:46):
No, I didn't, I just used it because he did no.
Jay (19:48):
I'm saying you referenced it because he did yeah, no,
that's fine Rumspringa.
Rumspringa.
I'm pretty sure you'repronouncing that wrong
Rumspringa.
Chris (20:03):
That's what the Amish get .
The round of muck rum springrough springer.
So what age do you do that?
16, 16, that's crazy can beginaround 16 so your fucking
bitch-ass parents still boss youaround.
You gotta go pretend like youknow what the world is.
They're like we're gonna sendyou into town of fucking
Springfield, Ohio.
(20:24):
You can check out the realworld.
Tony (20:29):
Rum Springer last two years dude, what the fuck?
So you get to leave tojehovah's go on uh trips to
spread the word like they yeah,they go, uh, however far they
can pedal jehovah's we're onjehovah episode.
Chris (20:50):
They call they, they pedal you got nine more minutes
to ask questions on jehovah webepisode they call we're never
doing this again.
Jay (20:58):
They call them assemblies.
Chris (21:00):
Go on assembly for how long?
To where A weekend?
Who signs it?
Jay (21:03):
A weekend.
Chris (21:06):
This is like team rush you all mob into a Days Inn
outside of Frankfurt, indiana,and jump into town and sell the
door to door.
Jay (21:16):
In Wisconsin it was Janesville or Madison.
Really, you drove to Janesvilleor Madison, janesville was the
one we went to a lot of thetimes.
Madison was the big-ass onewhere there was thousands of
them and literally all InMadison.
In Madison, yeah, contrugatedin the giant complex.
I don't remember what we wereat because I didn't pay
(21:37):
attention to any of this shit.
Dude, I didn't like any of it.
Chris (21:41):
I had my binoculars and all I did was look around for
good-looking girls I could talkto, because that's the ones I
could talk to or Jehovah'sWitnesses, but you didn't have a
church where people would go,like the 16 or 18-year-old or
something kid would just go fortwo years.
Jay (21:58):
No, nothing at all nothing, or like a year to south africa
or some shit to like, spread theword of no, no, no, everything
was all together, everyone'stogether, in this shit you know,
you don't very occultish I meanyeah, it was it's like a call
yeah, I like, so I'll steal acouple of remaining remaining
minutes.
Chris (22:18):
I was in a Mormon household which a lot of people
have a lot of like differentpoints of view that are like
extreme.
Jay (22:24):
Like you're saying, don't you not celebrate some holidays,
right?
Chris (22:27):
So no, so sure, yeah, just kidding, so they would.
They would go like push, pedalthe fucking church out.
They would send their young menout and young women out at like
18 or some shit, to likedifferent places around the
world.
And it was like organized, likeyou'd be out, there'll be two
(22:49):
other people in that city fromSan Diego and one from Australia
, and you'll be in South Africa.
There'll be six of you.
Jay (22:55):
That's kind of cool.
Paddle around and pedal theword, you get to go for free.
The church pays for it, right?
Chris (23:01):
Sure, I have no idea.
There was no way in fuckinghell I was going to go?
Jay (23:04):
Why?
I would totally go, dude.
Oh, really, see the world.
That's why I was asking you.
I wouldn't preach, I just seethe world.
Chris (23:12):
Would you go do that?
Now Is what I was going to askyou like cause.
If you had that in your Jehovahthing, I was going to ask you
if you'd go do that at thispoint, like if you had this
envision where you're like Ibecome Jehovah again, the wife,
kids, everybody's on board,everything's good and they're
like well, Jay, it's come uponus from above that you need to
(23:33):
travel to South America.
Jay (23:40):
Well, we're not going to tell you where yet, but we need
you to accept this calling,Because what you do and I think
the Mormon thing is you acceptthe calling?
Chris (23:43):
Yeah, I'll do that.
We've heard up on high from theBibles that you need to go do
this.
Do you accept the challenge?
Jay (23:52):
Yeah, I would accept it, but I wouldn't be allowed to do
it.
Chris (23:54):
Then they're like alright , you're going to fucking
zimbabwe, have fun, you're gonnabe with pete from ohio hey,
it's warmer there than it ishere I'm down break up, yeah,
I'm down.
Jay (24:05):
It's so much warmer there than here, I'm down but you
don't know where you're going.
It could be anywhere if it'scold, then I probably wouldn't
do it well, what are you tellingme?
Tony (24:13):
how are you gonna knock?
Do it I?
Chris (24:15):
why you always have a hat on well yeah, what happens when
you go on these things andyou're like nah, fuck that bro,
I'm just gonna party it up andyou just end up out there you
think the church makes you payit back like.
Is there some type of like?
Who's watching?
Tony (24:29):
you get half the city pregnant you get an invoice.
Chris (24:32):
I'm spreading the word, spread my seed.
No, you get an invoice in themail and it's like you've lost
now in interest, like 13 yearsof eternity in the pearly gates
or whatever 13 years is nothing.
Chris, pretty soon, you're notgoing to have any available time
.
Tony (24:51):
So your parents were Mormon.
Chris (24:55):
It was kind of similar to what Jay was talking about.
My mom was into the religion.
My dad wasn't so much into itat all.
Jay (25:02):
What do they believe happens to you after you die?
I don't know.
Chris (25:06):
I think you go to heaven.
Jay (25:07):
Okay, so Joe's Witnesses there's.
It makes the most sense.
There's no heaven or hell.
Yeah, you live on earth as anew one.
You live on earth.
Chris (25:17):
As a new one.
Jay (25:19):
You live on earth and I don't know, like In, like a
parallel universe.
No, the same earth.
Chris (25:24):
The same earth.
The earth is destroyed and youare survived.
What about all the people thatalready died?
Jay (25:30):
No, everyone that's killed.
That's now Jehovah's Witness.
I don't know how this works.
I don't know.
They put you in a bubble, theyfloat you above the earth and
then float you back down wheneveryone's dead.
I don't know.
Chris (25:40):
But you get to come back to earth, you get to come back
to earth and you live on earth.
Jay (25:43):
But then it comes to me as like everyone.
But it's all Jehovah's day.
Chris (25:45):
Yeah, it's all Jehovah's day.
Jay (25:46):
Oh shit, and this is the question I always ask.
Chris (25:49):
What stores are you going to knock on on Saturday?
Jay (25:53):
I I'm making sure you steal Joe's witness.
Chris (25:57):
Hey.
Jay (25:57):
Pete, just want to make sure.
The only thing I neverunderstood and I asked, even as
a child to myself, is okay, soyou're living on the earth, no
one dies.
You still have kids.
Where the fuck are all thesekids here to go?
No one ever dies, not oldpeople, nothing.
You live forever.
Sure where the fuck Are yougoing to put all these
generations Of kids and people?
(26:18):
I just you know, just doesn'tmake sense.
Chris (26:22):
It was at that point you started to make sense of it all
wait a minute.
The end game is all of us likeforever.
Hey, the math's not math inhere.
Jay (26:35):
Hey, maybe they knew about the Mars cal nation I don't know
about anything before anyoneelse did.
And then there's 144,000 thatyou know there's a lot of weird
stuff, but again, this issuspicious.
This is what my cousins thinkfucked me up.
They think now I'm fucked upbecause of that.
Chris (26:57):
They still think it yeah they think I'm fucked up.
Jay (27:05):
I's fucked up.
Yeah, my sister's fucked up, mybrother's fucked up because of
this.
But my youngest sister didn'thave to deal with it.
She was like two when my momgot away from it and obviously
she got loved way more than you,she got disassociated my yeah,
basically yeah, and what was theother word?
Chris (27:22):
again, I forgot.
Jay (27:23):
Disfellowshipped.
Chris (27:24):
Shunned.
Disfellowshipped Fellowship ofthe rings is gone bitch, you're
out.
Jay (27:31):
Give me that ring back, see , I yeah, I don't know.
But again, yes, like you saidand you read, if you are shunned
, you are not allowed to talk tothat shunned person.
So basically, there has beenpeople that we've known.
My mom has known that it's beenlike divorce You're not allowed
to get a divorce.
You get a divorce, you're done,you're out.
So even if it doesn't matter,if you don't love the person
(27:54):
anymore, you get a divorce.
You, you marry someone, you'restuck with them for the rest of
your life and you cannot get adivorce.
Anyway, mom knew someone thatgot a divorce.
She was not allowed to talk tohim, not allowed to conversate,
whatever.
If she saw him somewhere she'ssupposed to walk away from.
It's fucking crazy it's weirdshit.
Tony (28:13):
Can you just imagine what onlookers at the local walmart
would be saying if your bestfriend walked in and you had to
just like turn around andfucking walk?
Jay (28:22):
how would they know he's your best friend?
What do you mean?
Tony (28:24):
and uh, they're like oh hey, jamie, and you're like
you're shunned, you are shunned.
Stop talking to me, you'regonna pull me in the hell with
you well, it depends on whatcity and where you are in the
world.
Jay (28:37):
Okay, or state, because in new berlin, yeah, people would
be like what the fuck's wrong?
Oh my god, everyone wouldcircle you and I'm like whoa
guys, something's happening.
People, five people will call9-1-1.
But if you didn't walk downtownmilwaukee, everyone would just
just walk right back.
Mixed on tiktok in a matter ofminutes.
So, yeah, no, I get it.
(28:58):
Uh, any other questions beforewe end this episode, guys?
Tony (29:02):
so, listening to your story of uh, almost science
fiction scientology.
You're talking about sciencefiction.
It sounds like a episode ofstar trek well you're you're
fucking weird ass.
Religion you grew up in um, Iwas listening to somebody talk
(29:23):
about, uh, elon musk and uh, howhe's convinced that this world
is a simulation, that he doesn'tthink this real world actually
like the matrix.
Jay (29:36):
Oh, you know what the matrix is, or have you not seen
it?
I haven't seen it.
Matrix is a fake world.
People are used as as uhbatteries and like basically,
right now we would be in like ashell used as a battery for
robots, but this would be theirfake, fake world, like our right
now is our fake world that?
Tony (29:57):
yeah, I don't know.
I just got to thinking and youknow, the weird thing is is I
didn't even smoke marijuana oranything, but I was thinking
like what if we are the fuckingmold growth on some fucking old
piece of food in somebody'srefrigerator?
Jay (30:15):
right, not for real now you're talking about men in
black, where you open up thefucking door to your locker and
there's this whole world thatworships you.
But that's like our world atthe end of black men in black,
one another locker's opened andthe main character whatever his
name, I forgot his name islooking out the locker too like
(30:39):
yeah, I mean, it's a pretty goodpossibility one day we're just.
Chris (30:46):
We're just like bacteria in somebody else's world well,
another one from men in black iswhere, at the end of the movie
where they're just playingmarbles with the galaxy yeah,
the galaxy walking around.
Tony (30:57):
Yeah, like they, you're not only just a yeah, what if?
Chris (31:01):
But we are.
If you look out into thefucking sky, we are.
I'm going to end it with this.
I'm going to end it with no,not with a prayer or something.
Are you Motherfucker?
Hell, no, all right, bow yourheads.
Jay (31:12):
I'm going to end it.
Famous Jehovah's Witnesses thatyou did not know.
Okay, ready.
Prince Jay Wisniewski, did youknow Prince was a Jehovah's
Witness?
How could he do that?
Okay, prince was a Jehovah'sWitness.
Michael Jackson's family,michael Jackson False.
No, that is 100% true.
No, that's propaganda Marketingpropaganda.
(31:34):
No, that is so true.
I've heard that he is readingdirectly from the Saturday Fire.
I knew Michael Jackson's parentswere Jehovah's Witnesses.
He obviously did not follow.
It Makes sense by all thebeatens Terrence Howard, donald
Glover, you guys know any ofthose guys?
You?
Chris (31:52):
can't be in Hollywood and be a Jehovah.
Jay (31:54):
Okay, I'm sorry this one.
Now you're going to think thisis totally close.
Be a Jehovah.
Okay, I'm sorry this one Snoop.
Now you're going to think thisis totally Close.
You're going to totally thinkthis is wrong.
Coolio Notorious.
Chris (32:06):
BIG Dude they're all wrong.
Tony (32:10):
Do you think that's real?
These are all false, 100%Prince is a Jehovah's Witness,
as Jehovah's Witnesses WasWhatever, I don't know no.
Jay (32:19):
Yes, he was.
Look it up Michael Jackson'sparents, hardcore Jehovah's
Witnesses.
Serena Williams, the tennisplayer.
Jehovah's Witness.
Tony (32:28):
I heard her Naomi.
Jay (32:28):
Campbell, you know who she is.
Coco Rocha I don't know who thefuck that is.
Venus Williams, obviouslybecause his fucking sister.
Chris (32:37):
These are all super interesting stories.
Jay (32:39):
Okay, okay.
Well, that's what I want to dowith.
Stop being such a naysayer.
Who's Ja Rule?
That's a rapper, right, sort ofhe's look at.
Was raised.
Okay, this is just.
Was raised and no longer is orwas a Jehovah's Witness Was
raised as one, obviously, allhis songs are about fucking
(33:01):
people out of wedlock.
Go through that list again.
Chris (33:03):
Go through that list again.
Jay (33:05):
Go through the list again Go through the list again, if I
didn't tell you I was Jehovah'sWitness, you would not believe
it.
Tony (33:11):
Serena Williams, the first time I met you, I'm like is
that guy a fucking Jehovah'sWitness?
Chris (33:16):
or something.
How did prince die drugs he was.
How did michael jackson die?
That was, that was prescripted.
Jay (33:26):
How did prescription?
Who else is on that list?
They just weren't naomicampbell.
Chris (33:31):
What's up with that girl?
She's naomi campbell.
Jay (33:33):
She's an actress right, no, no model, no, that's.
That's that black model.
Chris (33:39):
She's still alive.
Good for her.
Jay (33:43):
Dwight Eisenhower.
Chris (33:45):
Dwight Eisenhower, the president of the United States,
dwight.
Tony (33:49):
Eisenhower, I thought you were talking about from the
office Bologna.
Jay (33:53):
That's what it says.
The 34th president of theUnited States was raised in a
religion but also left the faith.
He left the faith as an adultJa Rule, raised as a Jehovah's
Witness, but he grewdisenchanted with religion when
his mother was disfellowshipped.
There you go.
Chris (34:13):
Damn Right there, dude.
Dwight Eisenhower was anAmerican military officer.
How is he of jehovah?
Jay (34:21):
I don't know, dude, this is fucking the internet.
Dude, terrence howard, that,that really smart dude, that
that has fucking all these crazythoughts and, uh, beliefs.
Show me a picture I thinkthat's terror.
Tony (34:32):
terrence mckenna you're thinking of, that's an actor,
that's what I said.
Jay (34:38):
Howard actor, George Benson , Daniel Glover, Donald Glover,
sorry this is less interesting.
Chris (34:48):
Lou Whitaker, this is less interesting than Tony's
routine from last weekend.
Jay (34:54):
Okay, let me read the notorious one real quick.
Rapper, aka Christopher Wallace, was raised as a Jehovah's
Witness faith by his mother,whose mother is still active in
the Jehovah's Witness crowd.
All right, that's it.
That's all I have to say, andyou guys are welcome for this
(35:16):
Top Shell story of faith, Godand belief of never-ending life
and souls.
Chris (35:21):
Hey, just go show you whatever you believe in as long
as he makes you happy, keepfucking going at it until you
realize you're fucking wrong andthen change.
And that's fine too.
And then just find somethingelse that makes you happy and do
that until you realize you'refucking wrong and then change
again, because that's how lifeworks.
Tony (35:35):
Just get knee-deep in the religion until you realize all
you want is a new set of tits.
And then you're like I'm out,I'm out.
Jay (35:42):
They just feel too nice to be back in this religion.
All right, guys.
Top Shelf Stories, have a goodweek.
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Jay (00:27):
So how religious are you guys?
Hit me again.
Chris (00:35):
I would say mild, strong in my belief.
I am not practicing anyreligion at this time.
Jay (00:40):
When's the last time you've been to church?
Probably 10 years years no, notthat many tony this year.
Okay, it was it for, like, uh,jesus birthday or some shit or
something like that.
No birthdays involved.
So imagine being three yearsold and going to to church three
(01:03):
times a week and also goingdoor to door on every saturday
what were you selling dildosnice that's your new word, tony
cross dildos.
Okay, so this?
Chris (01:19):
is uh.
So it was church, church,church, church, church, church,
church.
Go tell other people aboutchurch.
Tony (01:24):
Yeah, exactly, so here's my question for you Were you
religious, or was it just yourparents?
Jay (01:33):
My dad was not, my mother was, and we were forced into it.
Tony (01:37):
My brother and my sister Right, but I'm saying did you
believe what was being taught?
Jay (01:42):
I'm three years old, fuck no.
Tony (01:43):
Were you on board with it.
Well, I know this carried intoyour teenage years.
Jay (01:48):
Okay, I'm talking about being a Jehovah's Witness.
There's a lot of differentstereotypes about it and
different ideas of how it is,but it's sometimes way worse.
I was going to say sometimesit's not the truth, but
sometimes it's way worse.
I don't think any kid nowadayswe started.
Chris (02:11):
Do you have a historical?
You should pull up some data onthe Jehovah Witness.
Jay (02:15):
It started in 1860s.
I think I forgot the name ofthe guy that started the
religion.
Chris (02:25):
It was probably Jehovah.
Jay (02:26):
It's a branch off.
I mean Jehovah, God, Jehovah isanother name for God and it's
been that way for a long time.
Basically, we started, you know, on football.
They used to kneel for thenational anthem and all that.
Jehovah's Witnesses startedthat shit.
In school we were not allowed.
Charles Taze, Russell, Is it 18something, 1864?
Chris (02:52):
That's when Columbus sailed the ocean.
Yeah, 19th century what?
Tony (02:57):
What the fuck are you talking?
Jay (02:58):
about.
So I was Jehovah's Witnessgrowing up, never celebrated
holidays.
They were a pagan holiday orthey were pagans celebrated them
, so we did not celebrate them.
Never had christmas birthdays.
Fucking anything, everythingand anything.
Chris (03:16):
1917 1917 those are false prophets or something right, I
don't know I didn't.
Jay (03:21):
You know what this is.
Tony (03:22):
Probably there's never the truth, you know so is this a
ploy by your parents becausethey didn't have money for gifts
?
Chris (03:30):
jehovah's witnesses are known for door-to-door preaching
, distributing literature suchas the watchtower and awake, and
for refusing military serviceand blood transfusions.
What's up with your?
Jay (03:41):
blood bro.
Oh yeah, okay.
So if, for some reason, I gotin some type of accident or I
needed a transfusion for bloodor I would die, you would.
Your parents would let you dieif you didn't get it.
If you needed blood, if youneeded blood, yes, your blood is
sake so sacred to them that youare not supposed to let any
(04:01):
other type of d blood so forthinto your.
Chris (04:04):
Did you ever get shunned?
Or are you shunned now?
Jay (04:08):
I was never baptized.
You have to be baptized to beshunned.
Chris (04:11):
Oh, you didn't.
Jay (04:12):
I didn't get baptized.
My mother was baptized, so sheshunned?
Tony (04:17):
Yeah, because I know she took in some fake blood when she
got those fake titties.
Chris (04:21):
Members are not.
She's got a lot more than fakeblood.
Members are not allowed tosocialize with a shunned
individual.
Jay (04:28):
You are cast out like the leopard.
Tony (04:32):
I think it's just leopard Leopard yeah.
I think leopard is the actualanimal.
Chris (04:37):
This doesn't sound culty at all but I'm going to give you
one more sentence.
Shunned individuals mayeventually be reinstated if
deemed repentant.
Former members may experiencesignificant mental distress as a
result of being shunned, andsome seek reinstatement just to
(04:57):
keep contact with their friendsyeah, you got a family, that's
not culty at all, dude.
Jay (05:02):
No, you gotta, you gotta if you're a woman, you gotta suck
a couple times you just tookthat out of my mouth and, uh,
you're back into good graces,okay, so basically, no holidays,
no hanging out with people thatare not jehovah's witnesses,
unless it's, you know, school orotherwise that's why we never
became friends as kids.
Chris (05:23):
Jay, yeah, imagine all the fun trouble we could have
gotten in our 20s if I hadn'tbeen a fucking disassociated now
you know why you sent me thosebirthday cards to come to your
birthday and I couldn't come.
Jay (05:35):
Yeah, I don't remember that never had birthdays, never had
nothing, dude.
So the first time I was, I puta christmas tree up.
I was 25 and it was.
It was exciting.
It was like holy shit, it'skind of cool.
Two years later, I fucking hatedoing this shit.
I never, ever, ever put thechristmas tree up.
My wife puts it up right afterfucking halloween it's
(05:57):
ridiculous we have more than one.
Tony (05:59):
I had some family that was jehovah's witnesses and uh they
weren't family, they didn'tcall you family, you weren't
family, they were yeah, so thedad was a mean son of a bitch
about the fucking meanest personI ever met.
Um, unfortunately, he uhcommitted suicide just a few
(06:23):
years ago.
Jeez, louise it's he was even.
Jay (06:26):
That's against.
That's against jehovah's uh law, and if they do that, they will
not be resurrected what a way.
Chris (06:33):
So he was a jackass his whole life because of this shit,
and then he fucking lost it atthe and line I remember my aunt
gave my little brother a stuffedanimal for his birthday.
Tony (06:47):
She snuck it to him.
Like I remember this, I wasmaybe like 10 years old and it
was super fucking sneaky likeshe carried it out to the car
under her shirt.
She like leaned into the carwindow hoping nobody had seen
her and she gave the stuffedanimal to my little brother said
happy birthday and then shewent in the house and uh, he had
(07:08):
seen it, and beat the fuck outof her for celebrating a holiday
.
Yeah, especially with anon-jehovah, are you fucking
kidding, like?
And she I mean to this day myaunt still defends him there's
eccentric and there is, there'sover, exaggerated and over.
(07:31):
I don't whatever word I'mlooking for, people that yeah,
and any religion, dude or any inlife itself, it doesn't matter
what you're in, but I don't know, I don't even know if this, if
the beatens and shit were, werelike masked behind the Jehovah's
Witness blanket.
Jay (07:46):
I think he would have done that regardless.
Tony (07:48):
I think he just fucking really enjoyed being really
abusive to everybody he knewit's terrible.
Jay (07:55):
You should have slapped him around.
Tony (07:57):
That dude would have beat my ass.
First off way more experiencehad beaten people's ass than me
when I was like 10.
I'm going to tell you thatright now he had.
So his youngest son was likethree years older than me and
(08:19):
his oldest son was I don't know,maybe like 10 years older than
me.
And when we were kids the olderson was like really big into
like DJing and he bought allthese turntables and mixers and
all this shit.
And I just remember his dad goton some shit one day, was
(08:41):
really fucking pissed.
Got on some shit one day, wasreally fucking pissed, and went
up and took all this dude's shitand just bounced it all down
the stairs, just fuckingdestroyed everything this kid
had.
And that's that's how I imagineit is inside of every jehovah's
witness household.
No jesus, no peace.
(09:02):
No jesus, your shit's gonna getfucked up.
Jay (09:06):
Let me ask you this quick, do you, do you think my dad
would ever do that your dadwasn't a jehovah?
Tony (09:12):
I think, I think your mom was the abuser in this household
.
That's what I was gonna say.
Jay (09:17):
Yeah, I think your mom used to beat the fuck out of all
four of you, so basically wewould go to the the meetings he
would work and we would neversee him because we come home
from the meetings like they'reliterally right after class.
Tony (09:31):
They're fucking three days a week and three days a week of
church, yeah, I, I mean, I justimagine your mean ass mom
bouncing you two boys togetherlike fucking marching band
symbols.
Jay (09:43):
Yeah just on the daily just fucking beating you guys she
didn't make us wear the sameoutfit and, uh, we had to wear a
suit and tie.
If you did not go in there withthe suit and tie, you were not
a nice thing.
Tony (09:54):
He says he never grew out of them.
Looks like I won't have to buyhim a new suit this year I'll
tell you what, though.
Jay (10:06):
I can tie a tie in three seconds.
Tony (10:10):
That's what I got for the job that fast, but, uh, I can do
it without looking in themirror now oh my god, really
cool for wow well, I tie a tieonce every year and a half maybe
, dude I taught my dad how totie a tie.
Jay (10:25):
You know what?
You tie it for them and justput it around their neck and
then pull it tight.
Chris (10:30):
He used to keep his ties all loosened and tightened, and
loosened, and tightened and hungup.
He would never untie them.
Jay (10:36):
You know there's a talent to it because there's two parts
to the tie.
Obviously there's that littleskinny part and you don't want
the little skinny part to getlonger than the fat part,
otherwise it looks fucked up.
It just looks stupid, likesomething's wrong with you if
you make that longer.
Tony (10:49):
You just look like Chris Farley on a Saturday Night.
Jay (10:52):
Live skit Down by the river .
Yeah, so yeah again.
Never celebrated holidays.
I've never been the one to bemad about, like it never made me
mad growing up being one wasnot being able to play sports.
Tony (11:11):
Organized sports.
Jay (11:13):
Organized sports.
Chris (11:15):
Fake family rule.
Is that why?
You fall under the fake idolrule.
Jay (11:20):
I can play sports, but it's got to be against Jehovah's
Witnesses.
They all sucked, so I was likethe best.
Now, when I came back to doingsports and gym at school, I had
some competition because theyweren't Jehovah's Witnesses.
They are fucking running aroundwith a suit and tie and fucking
penny loafers.
So I had a little competitionin school.
Tony (11:39):
They didn't start calling it till it was a quad dribble.
Chris (11:43):
What is the Jehovah's opinion of the Amish?
Amish.
Tony (11:48):
Yeah, idols, I would say it's another.
Chris (11:54):
Okay.
Jay (11:55):
Any other religion besides Jehovah's Witnesses wrong.
So is Amish a religion, or is?
Tony (11:59):
that just a lifestyle.
I feel like every religionfeels that.
Jay (12:05):
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Tony (12:06):
They're the only ones that are specific.
Chris (12:08):
It just sounds and seems a lot similar, just with a few
different rules well, yeah, wecould use electronics to drive
vehicles and.
But some of the amish can too,just not the mennonite amish.
There you go.
Tony (12:18):
Yeah, you're right I think mennonite can.
Is that what it is?
Chris (12:22):
yeah, okay, I I'm naive, so forgive me.
Tony (12:26):
for anyone, the best is.
Every couple years I hear thestory of an Amish dude getting
drunk, driving with his horse.
What?
Well, because they drive on theroad, it's a controlled?
Jay (12:37):
Where else is it supposed to drive with the horse On the
sidewalk?
Chris (12:44):
Yeah, but you can't be drunk in control of a one horse
power vehicle operating a onehorse.
Jay (12:47):
But I like this.
But some some op a, if you'rerich, you got two or three.
You got two or three horsesokay, so go on.
Couldn't play sports um, inschool, when they had, uh, you
know how, when you were in gradeschool and you had the parties
for halloween, christmas, um,all those different holidays, I
I'd have to go into the librarythe whole fucking day.
My mom wouldn't let me stayhome.
(13:08):
Oh, at school, yeah.
So she wouldn't let me stayhome, like knowing that all day
long I'd have to be in thelibrary playing Oregon Trail and
the fucking floppy diskcomputer.
Chris (13:18):
I think I remember a few of you in my school.
Jay (13:23):
Dude, we get made fun of.
Did you go to General Mitchell?
Chris (13:26):
Yeah, oh, then you were the people I remember from grade
school.
Jay (13:32):
How is a grade or two ahead of you, though they're like
this loser loves books.
Tony (13:36):
I don't know when are you.
I graduated in 2000.
Chris (13:38):
How many grades did you miss then?
I graduated the same year asyou Did you.
Yeah, I'm just younger than youare by a year.
Jay (13:47):
Okay, anyway, so yeah we were in the same class.
Chris (13:49):
You were the kid that had to leave every time I brought a
treat in Mom's like what do youwant to do for that stupid
Jehovah kid?
I'm like I don't know.
I guess he hollied his fuckingshit.
Jay (13:58):
You know what's funny about that?
My brother and sister we talkedabout that not too long ago and
they were like I was like dude,it sucked in school where I
couldn't grab the treat, likekids bringing cookies or
whatever it was.
Your sister is probably mybrother's grade and my sister
and my brother were like whatare you talking about, jay?
(14:18):
We always took it.
I'm like what?
Chris (14:21):
Yeah, they were like fuck that, jay.
15 years.
Tony (14:24):
I was talking with your brother about this too, so it
was just you, I never took itever not one time.
Chris (14:30):
I'm going to have to find the old third and fourth grade
fucking books and see if.
Jay (14:34):
Jay's in there, Dude.
I was there from first grade tofifth grade.
Chris (14:40):
Did you have Mr McGinnis?
In fifth grade Was that Spurka.
No, fifth grade.
Do you have Mr McGinnis infifth grade?
Was that?
Jay (14:47):
Spurka, no, mcginnis is the one who had the carousel wheel
in his room, I know.
Tony (14:49):
McGinnis, your brother said that he made the rules on
which things he could andcouldn't participate.
Chris (14:56):
He would just tell the teacher he didn't want to.
Tony (14:59):
He's like I got asked every year well, how come you
can do this one, but youcouldn't do the last one?
Do you really want me to teachyou?
Chris (15:07):
I'll come over on Saturday.
Tony (15:10):
He's like no, my mom said this one was OK.
Jay (15:13):
Yeah, and I didn't know that little trick.
I just fucking listen to therules.
Chris (15:18):
Your brother left you hanging dude.
Jay (15:20):
He didn't fucking tell me that little trick.
Tony (15:30):
I could have had cookies and donuts fucking every other
day of the year.
No, I'm not sure.
Yeah, I don't know.
I I just when I close my eyes Ipicture the jehovah's witnesses
having a lot of like peanutallergies and stuff it's a lot
of weak immune systems andanother thing we couldn't do is
we couldn't go to dances.
Jay (15:43):
So, like girls would ask me to go to dances and I you know,
I'm a fucking joe was witnessfirst off nobody asked you to go
to a dance dudes would tease me.
You're gay, that's why I don'twant to go with her.
Really, like no dude.
What are you talking about, man?
I was a fucking diamond in therough.
All the women came out to me,they full beard are you really
(16:03):
not going?
Are you really not gonna gowith me to the?
Tony (16:09):
to the prom jay.
Jay (16:10):
They just invited you because they assumed you could
buy liquor I went to actually Iwent to two proms when I was 22
whoa uh chaperoning right, nodiddy no, it was great, it was
fun time.
That's what they say now no,couldn't go to dances, couldn't
do any of the holidays at schooland, uh, you couldn't hang out
(16:32):
with kids after school unless ithad to do with a project that
you were doing for a class.
I could go to someone's house.
Then I could go to their houseand hang out like so, then I
would do shit like that.
I would say, hey, we're gonna,we're doing a science project,
blah, blah, blah.
So I'd go to my friends, I'dhang out, hang out with them
because of that.
Besides that, yeah, you neverhad friends.
Only friends you could havewere jehovah's witnesses.
Um, you couldn't talk to girls,you couldn't be any.
(16:55):
Everything there's like there'srestrictions to every fucking
thing.
You did so.
Now that you know, when I got toan age where I was not a
jehovah's witness anymore youknow 18 and beyond I moved out.
When I was 17, I fucking wentnuts.
I did everything and anything Icould.
You know I did terrible, dumbshit.
I almost died so many timesbecause I rebelled, because I
(17:17):
followed the fucking rules,unlike my brother.
You went on ramadan what's that?
Tony (17:23):
that's where the year they give the amish to go live in
the real world a year they givethem a year.
Jay (17:31):
Yeah, is that kind of like the purge?
Tony (17:36):
kind of, but after the year they get to decide whether
or not they want to return to alife of nothingness.
Jay (17:45):
I've heard that word before and if that's the truth, I
don't think it's a year.
I think that that's yourmisunderstanding or
misunderstood something.
There's no way.
Chris (17:54):
It's a year long, he's our tech guy's reaching for his
phone now to prove or disprovewho's correct, so so you did you
have a go ahead, go ahead.
No, I was actually asked me aquestion.
I'd rather say are you gonna?
So you've Disprove who'scorrect, so you have a Go ahead,
go ahead.
No, I was actually Ask me aquestion, ed.
So you've elected not tocontinue this trail after your
own private Ramadan, I think.
(18:16):
So what is the percentages thatyou are to do with the reason
I'm getting mailings from ahandwritten letters?
I got one of those too now,written from Jehovah's.
You know what's fucking weird?
We showed them.
Tony (18:33):
I was a little off on my days.
I was 335 days off, so I waspretty close so a month, one day
, one month, one month, onemonth.
Jay (18:44):
Okay 30 days I was going to say a year seems a little
stretched, Anyway.
Okay, so here's a funny kind ofthing.
Like my neighbor is a Jehovah'sWitness Now, yeah, and she
doesn't even know my name, shecalls me James Does she, yeah,
well, no.
I yeah, and she doesn't evenknow my name.
Chris (19:05):
She calls me james, does she yeah?
Tony (19:07):
well, no, I'm sure this dude you don't think she knows
you're laughing at someone onyour phone.
Chris (19:10):
I'm retarded you don't think she knows dude?
Yeah, it has nothing to do withwhat you were talking about I
was like he started laughingreally hard off for no reason.
Tony (19:21):
Go ahead fucking say it, dude, every no people can't read
your mind yeah, don't justlaugh and not say nothing so
ramadan actually has to do withsaudi arabia saudi arabia.
Arabia, uh, not um.
What is the amish?
Jay (19:41):
okay, so we both or Chris you referenced Ramadan as well.
Chris (19:46):
No, I didn't, I just used it because he did no.
Jay (19:48):
I'm saying you referenced it because he did yeah, no,
that's fine Rumspringa.
Rumspringa.
I'm pretty sure you'repronouncing that wrong
Rumspringa.
Chris (20:03):
That's what the Amish get .
The round of muck rum springrough springer.
So what age do you do that?
16, 16, that's crazy can beginaround 16 so your fucking
bitch-ass parents still boss youaround.
You gotta go pretend like youknow what the world is.
They're like we're gonna sendyou into town of fucking
Springfield, Ohio.
(20:24):
You can check out the realworld.
Tony (20:29):
Rum Springer last two years dude, what the fuck?
So you get to leave tojehovah's go on uh trips to
spread the word like they yeah,they go, uh, however far they
can pedal jehovah's we're onjehovah episode.
Chris (20:50):
They call they, they pedal you got nine more minutes
to ask questions on jehovah webepisode they call we're never
doing this again.
Jay (20:58):
They call them assemblies.
Chris (21:00):
Go on assembly for how long?
To where A weekend?
Who signs it?
Jay (21:03):
A weekend.
Chris (21:06):
This is like team rush you all mob into a Days Inn
outside of Frankfurt, indiana,and jump into town and sell the
door to door.
Jay (21:16):
In Wisconsin it was Janesville or Madison.
Really, you drove to Janesvilleor Madison, janesville was the
one we went to a lot of thetimes.
Madison was the big-ass onewhere there was thousands of
them and literally all InMadison.
In Madison, yeah, contrugatedin the giant complex.
I don't remember what we wereat because I didn't pay
(21:37):
attention to any of this shit.
Dude, I didn't like any of it.
Chris (21:41):
I had my binoculars and all I did was look around for
good-looking girls I could talkto, because that's the ones I
could talk to or Jehovah'sWitnesses, but you didn't have a
church where people would go,like the 16 or 18-year-old or
something kid would just go fortwo years.
Jay (21:58):
No, nothing at all nothing, or like a year to south africa
or some shit to like, spread theword of no, no, no, everything
was all together, everyone'stogether, in this shit you know,
you don't very occultish I meanyeah, it was it's like a call
yeah, I like, so I'll steal acouple of remaining remaining
minutes.
Chris (22:18):
I was in a Mormon household which a lot of people
have a lot of like differentpoints of view that are like
extreme.
Jay (22:24):
Like you're saying, don't you not celebrate some holidays,
right?
Chris (22:27):
So no, so sure, yeah, just kidding, so they would.
They would go like push, pedalthe fucking church out.
They would send their young menout and young women out at like
18 or some shit, to likedifferent places around the
world.
And it was like organized, likeyou'd be out, there'll be two
(22:49):
other people in that city fromSan Diego and one from Australia
, and you'll be in South Africa.
There'll be six of you.
Jay (22:55):
That's kind of cool.
Paddle around and pedal theword, you get to go for free.
The church pays for it, right?
Chris (23:01):
Sure, I have no idea.
There was no way in fuckinghell I was going to go?
Jay (23:04):
Why?
I would totally go, dude.
Oh, really, see the world.
That's why I was asking you.
I wouldn't preach, I just seethe world.
Chris (23:12):
Would you go do that?
Now Is what I was going to askyou like cause.
If you had that in your Jehovahthing, I was going to ask you
if you'd go do that at thispoint, like if you had this
envision where you're like Ibecome Jehovah again, the wife,
kids, everybody's on board,everything's good and they're
like well, Jay, it's come uponus from above that you need to
(23:33):
travel to South America.
Jay (23:40):
Well, we're not going to tell you where yet, but we need
you to accept this calling,Because what you do and I think
the Mormon thing is you acceptthe calling?
Chris (23:43):
Yeah, I'll do that.
We've heard up on high from theBibles that you need to go do
this.
Do you accept the challenge?
Jay (23:52):
Yeah, I would accept it, but I wouldn't be allowed to do
it.
Chris (23:54):
Then they're like alright , you're going to fucking
zimbabwe, have fun, you're gonnabe with pete from ohio hey,
it's warmer there than it ishere I'm down break up, yeah,
I'm down.
Jay (24:05):
It's so much warmer there than here, I'm down but you
don't know where you're going.
It could be anywhere if it'scold, then I probably wouldn't
do it well, what are you tellingme?
Tony (24:13):
how are you gonna knock?
Do it I?
Chris (24:15):
why you always have a hat on well yeah, what happens when
you go on these things andyou're like nah, fuck that bro,
I'm just gonna party it up andyou just end up out there you
think the church makes you payit back like.
Is there some type of like?
Who's watching?
Tony (24:29):
you get half the city pregnant you get an invoice.
Chris (24:32):
I'm spreading the word, spread my seed.
No, you get an invoice in themail and it's like you've lost
now in interest, like 13 yearsof eternity in the pearly gates
or whatever 13 years is nothing.
Chris, pretty soon, you're notgoing to have any available time
.
Tony (24:51):
So your parents were Mormon.
Chris (24:55):
It was kind of similar to what Jay was talking about.
My mom was into the religion.
My dad wasn't so much into itat all.
Jay (25:02):
What do they believe happens to you after you die?
I don't know.
Chris (25:06):
I think you go to heaven.
Jay (25:07):
Okay, so Joe's Witnesses there's.
It makes the most sense.
There's no heaven or hell.
Yeah, you live on earth as anew one.
You live on earth.
Chris (25:17):
As a new one.
Jay (25:19):
You live on earth and I don't know, like In, like a
parallel universe.
No, the same earth.
Chris (25:24):
The same earth.
The earth is destroyed and youare survived.
What about all the people thatalready died?
Jay (25:30):
No, everyone that's killed.
That's now Jehovah's Witness.
I don't know how this works.
I don't know.
They put you in a bubble, theyfloat you above the earth and
then float you back down wheneveryone's dead.
I don't know.
Chris (25:40):
But you get to come back to earth, you get to come back
to earth and you live on earth.
Jay (25:43):
But then it comes to me as like everyone.
But it's all Jehovah's day.
Chris (25:45):
Yeah, it's all Jehovah's day.
Jay (25:46):
Oh shit, and this is the question I always ask.
Chris (25:49):
What stores are you going to knock on on Saturday?
Jay (25:53):
I I'm making sure you steal Joe's witness.
Chris (25:57):
Hey.
Jay (25:57):
Pete, just want to make sure.
The only thing I neverunderstood and I asked, even as
a child to myself, is okay, soyou're living on the earth, no
one dies.
You still have kids.
Where the fuck are all thesekids here to go?
No one ever dies, not oldpeople, nothing.
You live forever.
Sure where the fuck Are yougoing to put all these
generations Of kids and people?
(26:18):
I just you know, just doesn'tmake sense.
Chris (26:22):
It was at that point you started to make sense of it all
wait a minute.
The end game is all of us likeforever.
Hey, the math's not math inhere.
Jay (26:35):
Hey, maybe they knew about the Mars cal nation I don't know
about anything before anyoneelse did.
And then there's 144,000 thatyou know there's a lot of weird
stuff, but again, this issuspicious.
This is what my cousins thinkfucked me up.
They think now I'm fucked upbecause of that.
Chris (26:57):
They still think it yeah they think I'm fucked up.
Jay (27:05):
I's fucked up.
Yeah, my sister's fucked up, mybrother's fucked up because of
this.
But my youngest sister didn'thave to deal with it.
She was like two when my momgot away from it and obviously
she got loved way more than you,she got disassociated my yeah,
basically yeah, and what was theother word?
Chris (27:22):
again, I forgot.
Jay (27:23):
Disfellowshipped.
Chris (27:24):
Shunned.
Disfellowshipped Fellowship ofthe rings is gone bitch, you're
out.
Jay (27:31):
Give me that ring back, see , I yeah, I don't know.
But again, yes, like you saidand you read, if you are shunned
, you are not allowed to talk tothat shunned person.
So basically, there has beenpeople that we've known.
My mom has known that it's beenlike divorce You're not allowed
to get a divorce.
You get a divorce, you're done,you're out.
So even if it doesn't matter,if you don't love the person
(27:54):
anymore, you get a divorce.
You, you marry someone, you'restuck with them for the rest of
your life and you cannot get adivorce.
Anyway, mom knew someone thatgot a divorce.
She was not allowed to talk tohim, not allowed to conversate,
whatever.
If she saw him somewhere she'ssupposed to walk away from.
It's fucking crazy it's weirdshit.
Tony (28:13):
Can you just imagine what onlookers at the local walmart
would be saying if your bestfriend walked in and you had to
just like turn around andfucking walk?
Jay (28:22):
how would they know he's your best friend?
What do you mean?
Tony (28:24):
and uh, they're like oh hey, jamie, and you're like
you're shunned, you are shunned.
Stop talking to me, you'regonna pull me in the hell with
you well, it depends on whatcity and where you are in the
world.
Jay (28:37):
Okay, or state, because in new berlin, yeah, people would
be like what the fuck's wrong?
Oh my god, everyone wouldcircle you and I'm like whoa
guys, something's happening.
People, five people will call9-1-1.
But if you didn't walk downtownmilwaukee, everyone would just
just walk right back.
Mixed on tiktok in a matter ofminutes.
So, yeah, no, I get it.
(28:58):
Uh, any other questions beforewe end this episode, guys?
Tony (29:02):
so, listening to your story of uh, almost science
fiction scientology.
You're talking about sciencefiction.
It sounds like a episode ofstar trek well you're you're
fucking weird ass.
Religion you grew up in um, Iwas listening to somebody talk
(29:23):
about, uh, elon musk and uh, howhe's convinced that this world
is a simulation, that he doesn'tthink this real world actually
like the matrix.
Jay (29:36):
Oh, you know what the matrix is, or have you not seen
it?
I haven't seen it.
Matrix is a fake world.
People are used as as uhbatteries and like basically,
right now we would be in like ashell used as a battery for
robots, but this would be theirfake, fake world, like our right
now is our fake world that?
Tony (29:57):
yeah, I don't know.
I just got to thinking and youknow, the weird thing is is I
didn't even smoke marijuana oranything, but I was thinking
like what if we are the fuckingmold growth on some fucking old
piece of food in somebody'srefrigerator?
Jay (30:15):
right, not for real now you're talking about men in
black, where you open up thefucking door to your locker and
there's this whole world thatworships you.
But that's like our world atthe end of black men in black,
one another locker's opened andthe main character whatever his
name, I forgot his name islooking out the locker too like
(30:39):
yeah, I mean, it's a pretty goodpossibility one day we're just.
Chris (30:46):
We're just like bacteria in somebody else's world well,
another one from men in black iswhere, at the end of the movie
where they're just playingmarbles with the galaxy yeah,
the galaxy walking around.
Tony (30:57):
Yeah, like they, you're not only just a yeah, what if?
Chris (31:01):
But we are.
If you look out into thefucking sky, we are.
I'm going to end it with this.
I'm going to end it with no,not with a prayer or something.
Are you Motherfucker?
Hell, no, all right, bow yourheads.
Jay (31:12):
I'm going to end it.
Famous Jehovah's Witnesses thatyou did not know.
Okay, ready.
Prince Jay Wisniewski, did youknow Prince was a Jehovah's
Witness?
How could he do that?
Okay, prince was a Jehovah'sWitness.
Michael Jackson's family,michael Jackson False.
No, that is 100% true.
No, that's propaganda Marketingpropaganda.
(31:34):
No, that is so true.
I've heard that he is readingdirectly from the Saturday Fire.
I knew Michael Jackson's parentswere Jehovah's Witnesses.
He obviously did not follow.
It Makes sense by all thebeatens Terrence Howard, donald
Glover, you guys know any ofthose guys?
You?
Chris (31:52):
can't be in Hollywood and be a Jehovah.
Jay (31:54):
Okay, I'm sorry this one.
Now you're going to think thisis totally close.
Be a Jehovah.
Okay, I'm sorry this one Snoop.
Now you're going to think thisis totally Close.
You're going to totally thinkthis is wrong.
Coolio Notorious.
Chris (32:06):
BIG Dude they're all wrong.
Tony (32:10):
Do you think that's real?
These are all false, 100%Prince is a Jehovah's Witness,
as Jehovah's Witnesses WasWhatever, I don't know no.
Jay (32:19):
Yes, he was.
Look it up Michael Jackson'sparents, hardcore Jehovah's
Witnesses.
Serena Williams, the tennisplayer.
Jehovah's Witness.
Tony (32:28):
I heard her Naomi.
Jay (32:28):
Campbell, you know who she is.
Coco Rocha I don't know who thefuck that is.
Venus Williams, obviouslybecause his fucking sister.
Chris (32:37):
These are all super interesting stories.
Jay (32:39):
Okay, okay.
Well, that's what I want to dowith.
Stop being such a naysayer.
Who's Ja Rule?
That's a rapper, right, sort ofhe's look at.
Was raised.
Okay, this is just.
Was raised and no longer is orwas a Jehovah's Witness Was
raised as one, obviously, allhis songs are about fucking
(33:01):
people out of wedlock.
Go through that list again.
Chris (33:03):
Go through that list again.
Jay (33:05):
Go through the list again Go through the list again, if I
didn't tell you I was Jehovah'sWitness, you would not believe
it.
Tony (33:11):
Serena Williams, the first time I met you, I'm like is
that guy a fucking Jehovah'sWitness?
Chris (33:16):
or something.
How did prince die drugs he was.
How did michael jackson die?
That was, that was prescripted.
Jay (33:26):
How did prescription?
Who else is on that list?
They just weren't naomicampbell.
Chris (33:31):
What's up with that girl?
She's naomi campbell.
Jay (33:33):
She's an actress right, no, no model, no, that's.
That's that black model.
Chris (33:39):
She's still alive.
Good for her.
Jay (33:43):
Dwight Eisenhower.
Chris (33:45):
Dwight Eisenhower, the president of the United States,
dwight.
Tony (33:49):
Eisenhower, I thought you were talking about from the
office Bologna.
Jay (33:53):
That's what it says.
The 34th president of theUnited States was raised in a
religion but also left the faith.
He left the faith as an adultJa Rule, raised as a Jehovah's
Witness, but he grewdisenchanted with religion when
his mother was disfellowshipped.
There you go.
Chris (34:13):
Damn Right there, dude.
Dwight Eisenhower was anAmerican military officer.
How is he of jehovah?
Jay (34:21):
I don't know, dude, this is fucking the internet.
Dude, terrence howard, that,that really smart dude, that
that has fucking all these crazythoughts and, uh, beliefs.
Show me a picture I thinkthat's terror.
Tony (34:32):
terrence mckenna you're thinking of, that's an actor,
that's what I said.
Jay (34:38):
Howard actor, George Benson , Daniel Glover, Donald Glover,
sorry this is less interesting.
Chris (34:48):
Lou Whitaker, this is less interesting than Tony's
routine from last weekend.
Jay (34:54):
Okay, let me read the notorious one real quick.
Rapper, aka Christopher Wallace, was raised as a Jehovah's
Witness faith by his mother,whose mother is still active in
the Jehovah's Witness crowd.
All right, that's it.
That's all I have to say, andyou guys are welcome for this
(35:16):
Top Shell story of faith, Godand belief of never-ending life
and souls.
Chris (35:21):
Hey, just go show you whatever you believe in as long
as he makes you happy, keepfucking going at it until you
realize you're fucking wrong andthen change.
And that's fine too.
And then just find somethingelse that makes you happy and do
that until you realize you'refucking wrong and then change
again, because that's how lifeworks.
Tony (35:35):
Just get knee-deep in the religion until you realize all
you want is a new set of tits.
And then you're like I'm out,I'm out.
Jay (35:42):
They just feel too nice to be back in this religion.
All right, guys.
Top Shelf Stories, have a goodweek.
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