August 5, 2025 • 22 mins
Our magical Disney World adventure takes an unexpected turn when we encounter an army of gigantic Florida cockroaches during the Phantasmic nighttime show at Hollywood Studios. What begins as an exciting family outing with prime seating quickly transforms into a horror show as hundreds of enormous roaches emerge from a manhole cover, creating waves of panic throughout the audience.
• Giant cockroaches the size of flip phones invade the Phantasmic amphitheater
• Creatures emerge by the hundreds from a manhole cover near our front-row seats
• A motorized scooter runs over one cockroach, leaving it twitching right in front of us
• Audience members jump onto bleachers screaming while some brave souls attempt to stamp out the invaders
• My four-year-old remains surprisingly unfazed by the roach invasion
• Despite the chaos, the Phantasmic water and light show proves to be spectacular
• Research reveals this is a well-documented ongoing problem at the Phantasmic venue
• Florida wildlife encounters continue at Legoland with a snake that fascinates my fearless four-year-old
Share your cockroach horror stories with us in the comments - we'd love to hear about your encounters with these resilient creatures!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You ever go out of town and meet some new,
unexpected friends, some friendsyou didn't know you had, some
friends you didn't know youwanted, some friends you
actually can't escape from.
I'm gonna tell you my disneystory from spring break 2024 on
this week's episode of top shelfstories bam.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
okay, that sounds like a herpes Can.
Did you get herpes?
No, okay.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So uh went to Florida , as you may have heard on a
previous episode, and uh took to, the took the kids to the
magical place on earth, mostmagic place on earth.
I don't know how they coin it,but it's a pretty cool fucking
place.
It's Disney.
We went place on earth I don'tknow how they coin it, but it's
a pretty cool fucking place.
It's disney.
We went to, uh, disneyhollywood studios and the reason
(01:10):
we went there is because it wasmy four-year-old's first time
going jealous and uh, the 11year old's been there like three
or four times because he'sspoiled, fucking rotten.
But uh, hollywood studios hasthis thing at the end of the
night called phantasmic and uh,the park closes at nine.
(01:31):
Um, well, they stop letting youin line for the rides at nine,
but at 10 o'clock they have thisshow in an empathy outside
amphitheater and it's, it's,it's nothing less than a magical
show.
It's there's like bellagiostyle water fountains and a lot
(01:57):
of the show.
Uh, they, they run these waterfountains to the point where
they create a solid wall ofwater, if that makes sense.
There's like a vertical wall.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Can you walk off?
Twitter is in like a lake or apond.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So you sit in this amphitheater and then in front
of you there's a moat with anIsland in the middle and all
this, all this water featurehappens, you know, between you
and the island.
And when they run this solidscreen wall of water they
project movie clips and shit onit and it's fucking crazy, yeah.
(02:38):
And then on the island there'sa mountain and they do all kinds
of like stunt things and it'slike little clips for movies and
there's boats going around onthe moat with people dancing on
them.
It is the coolest fucking showyou've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I fucking love this what's the name of the show?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
phantasmic.
Oh, you did say that.
Um, it's just it's really.
It sounds a little sexualreally the coolest thing that'd
be orgasmic yeah that's, yeah,that would be.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's .
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Maybe they have a later show that's called
orgasmic I mean, I'm sure that'swhat the cast does when she's
done and instead of a mount,instead of a moat, they use the
ladies but uh.
So I was really excited becausewe were trying to decide
whether to take the kids tomagic kingdom or hollywood
(03:31):
studios.
Like there's more for kids todo at magic kingdom, it's better
for the four-year-old.
But more kiddies I really wantedto show him this show because I
knew he'd be totally into it.
So the show's at 10 and we'relike we want to get really good
seats and everything at disney.
There's so many people so we goget in line for this show at
(03:55):
nine o'clock so we get to it.
We stand in this line an hourearly and it's not like a roller
coaster ride where you're anhour early, where you're where
you're walking for an hourmoving and you're standing there
still for an hour.
So it was fucking impossible tokeep the kids in line, not
(04:17):
acting crazy.
But we made it through and theylet us in and it's like a mile
walk to this amphitheater sothis is the point where your
four-year-old is as bad as your11-year-old during turbulence.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Because you can't stand, you just stand still.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah right, there's like a lot going on and we get
down there and we're like 70thin line which I mean there's
probably that's not a lot.
There's probably like 1500people.
So we're gonna get in thecenter and they kind of seat you
.
You know they kind of likeusher you in the seats and your
(04:55):
position, and there there was.
So the amphitheater consists oflike five different sections
that are probably 50, 60 feetlong and we're going to be in
the middle one.
But in front of those sectionsis like the wheelchair handicap,
(05:20):
you know, kind of like 12 foot.
There's like two 12 foot aislesin front, like the very front
okay, and they kind of warn youlike if you sit in like the
first couple rows you're gonnaget wet yeah, yeah yeah, and
we're like chase is superexcited.
He's like, yeah, let's, let's doit, let's get wet, you know,
all right cool sorry, we'regonna do it like.
(05:42):
This is gonna be like this isgonna be the part of the
vacation that my four-year-oldactually like retains and
remembers, because chaseremembers this and we haven't
been there since he was like sixyears old to this show so like
two more years.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Oh, I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Just kidding.
But we're sitting up front,we're like fucking hyped, like
this is going to be the shit.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Handicappers who came moved you to the back.
No, no.
Handicappers who came beat theshit out of you.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
No, we told the handicapped people like you can
fucking go over there.
We waited, you can wait we, wewaited.
You can't stroll in at the lastfucking second and take our
prime seats.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
You think you can just walk up in here, or I mean
roll up in here and take my seatyou know, the whole back is
flat level ground.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
You can sit up there, bitch.
So we're on this little, likefucking small bench.
We're all excited.
Uh, michelle and the 11 yearold went and got some popcorn
and we're getting fucking ready.
The kids are asking for neonglowing bubble makers and I'm
like, fuck you, bitch, we ain'ttaking those home.
They had like 80 a piece, right.
(06:58):
So we're getting.
We're like fucking ready to go,dude.
And I'm looking and I got alittle concrete wall in front of
me and then in the concretewall is a railing that's, you
know, a foot and a half tallerthan it.
You know kind of just a barrierrunning across the whole front
so you can't jump into the moat.
(07:19):
And uh, is the alligators inthe moat could be.
But there's, there's a full,like foot wide drain that runs
across the whole front of thiswall.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, you get splashed.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
So when the water comes through, it can get back
into the moat.
Yeah, and I'm sitting therewith the four-year-old and I'm
looking and I see the biggestfucking cockroach.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Oh, I've ever seen him give me a description on,
give me something, a comparable.
It's something, uh, an originalflip phone those aren't that
big for a cockroach.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
That's fucking gigantic it is it?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
is I actually small?
I had some small flip, originalflip the odd days the phones
are bigger than they were.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, if okay, okay, fine, if your.
If your middle child made afist, it would be the size of
the top of his hand okay, it'sfucking enormous.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
So did it have two black eyes or not eyes, but fake
eyes on the top of it too?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
It was just a brown disgusting fucking, I think, all
the Floridians call thempalmettos.
Yeah, they're fine with them.
A palmetto is not a cockroach.
These were them palmettos.
Yeah, they're fine with them.
A palmetto is not a cockroach.
These were cockroaches though.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Okay, I'm like oh okay, there's a cockroach.
It goes scurrying across thiswall.
I'm like maybe that's anisolated incident, oh my God.
And then I look over there'sanother cockroach.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
They.
And then I look over, there'sanother cockroach, oh my God.
So I mean, they're mostlyharmless too.
I know I'm like okay.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah, but people freak out about it because
they're so I mean to me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
The name is Cockroach , dude, nobody wants that shit.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
The name is terrible enough, but if it was a spider
cockroaches don't bother, Ifit's a spider I'd be crying.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
So now the cockroaches are playing and it
runs about three inches in frontof the top of my foot.
They're chasing each other.
I'm sure they weren't like thetoy they might have been
fighting, but to me it lookedlike they were gently playing.
They were playing tag, oh, mygod and uh, it runs right in
front of my foot and I'm like,I'm like, okay, well, like I can
(09:46):
deal with this, but I thinkmichelle's gonna freak out if
she sees this dude, bring yourgun, take your killer I know,
take your gun out.
I pulled my sock knife out and Itried to stab it, but they were
too fucking fast.
So so, between my little rowand the other little row where
(10:10):
the person on the motorizedscooter would be sitting.
There was a gigantic manholecover and you know like a big,
like 24 inch manhole cover, andso they have these little holes
on opposite ends.
Yeah, pick it, lift it to.
(10:30):
To shove the hook down and liftit up.
And I'm looking and that holeis fucking filled, oh, with
roaches and they're scurryingout.
And now there's dozens of them,okay, running around and I'm
like the the family's gonnafucking freak the fuck out
(10:54):
you're trying to keep it quietsome all I'm not saying, yeah,
my family.
So then I look behind me andmichelle and the 11 year old are
walking down the amphitheaterto get back to us and a
motorized scooter is passing infront of us, okay, in front of
me, and she runs over acockroach right in front of my
(11:16):
foot, okay, okay.
So it's like a big deadcockroach still like twitching.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
It's still alive.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Eight inches in front of my foot.
She only ran over the back halfof it.
Don't die Because her tirewasn't big enough to get over
the whole.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Thing.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So I'm like, I'm like motherfucker, now I got this
twitching upside down, half deadcockroach in front of me
twitching and the family'scoming down without food.
So I'm like, oh fuck, now we'resitting there and now they're
there's, now there's dozens ofthem out and they're running on
(11:58):
the face of the wall across thefront of us back and forth so
wait, one and one dies and itsignals like, uh, I don't,
they're fucking everywhere.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
They gotta check out.
Well, yeah, they probably smellthe death and they're like what
happened?
We gotta go check out where'sbilly?
Oh fuck, billy's fucked.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I gotta go see too oh fuck, I'm gonna go see too like
you remember joe's apartmentwithout cockroaches talking and
shit.
So chase sees the one wigglingand he looks at, he's watching
them on the wall and they'relike on the fucking railing.
And now, dude, now, by thistime there's hundreds of them
out oh my god and they're allthat size and chase goes what
(12:36):
are those?
And michelle looks at and shegoes oh my god, I think those
are cockroaches.
And I'm like well, they'redefinitely cockroaches, you
don't have to think they are.
And now she's on her phoneGoogling huge cockroach
Cockroaches indigenous toFlorida.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Are they poisonous?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Do they bite?
So Michelle's like I don't'tknow, I think we need to move
and I'm like, well, we have thebest seats.
Now I'm like I wouldn't mindgetting away from this manhole
cover that they're filing out ofsingle, single file like
(13:16):
fucking soldier ants.
I'm like I wouldn't mindgetting away from this.
So we move over to one of theside sections, in like the
second row there's.
So now we're like 20 feet awayfrom the manhole cover and now
they're working their way intothe crowd, and now the crowd oh,
yeah, that'd be amazing,they're screaming.
(13:39):
They're doing the wave andscreaming really yeah, so
everybody's like standing up andfucking standing on the fucking
bleachers, and there's thiswhole fucking big ordeal, and
then there's good, and thenthere's like when was?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
this.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
This is better than this show there's like three of
them eating a piece of popcornright in front of me, right
right in front of like michelle,and shit.
When was this, huh?
When was this sorry?
Uh, last wednesday, oh, it wasokay, your florida trip and uh
Florida trip and Michelle's likeshould I go stomp on him?
(14:16):
I'm like you don't go stomp onhim.
I'm like you never stomp aroach.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, because they get stuck on the eggs and shit.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
They're always filled with eggs and they fucking
hatch, no matter what Likenuclear fucking science can't
kill them.
What like nuclear fuckingscience can't kill them.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I'm like you're we're not, we're not bringing home
this fucking mutant problem.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Florida, florida theme park, bro, yeah like I'm
sitting here with a 20 ouncefucking fast food cup in front
of me and you could fit likefive of them in here they're
fucking enormous god.
So chase is like should I gostomp it?
I'm like no, just don't touchthem, just let them fucking go
about their business.
The show's about to start,let's just fucking concentrate
(15:01):
on that.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Once the water starts flowing.
They probably won't.
It's just I don't know.
I maybe they, you know that'stheir, that's their fucking ride
to them, yeah this is theirhighlight of the fucking night.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
They're like let's go antagonize all these white
people.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
The wave's coming guys.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Where's?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Billy, oh yeah, he was killed by the fucking
wheelchair, wheelchair, billy,billy.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
The rugged real man who's sitting behind us sees all
these people freaking out, andthen he goes up and he starts
stomping him he killed probably10 of them right, and he's irish
dancing all through the fronttrying to fucking stomp these
ass fuckers and he's gettingthem, he's getting them, but
(15:52):
eventually chase goes, forgetthis and he moves back like 10
more rows what is your youngestdoing?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I feel like that would be.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
He doesn't call he doesn't give a fuck about
anything that's going on juicebox.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yeah, he's like he's sharing popcorn with the
cockroach.
I feel like your son, youryoungest son, would be like oh,
I'm ready to fucking kill him,dad.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
He's like this is the best.
Yes, he's like this is good asa turbulence dad and see, the
thing is is is.
Every time I take the kids toflorida, we spend the whole time
looking everywhere for themlittle fucking anole lizards
that are everywhere so they'relooking, trying to catch them so
now, this is just like findingthe lizards.
(16:35):
He's like look, dad, there'sanother cockroach.
Look, there's a cockroach and sonow we're like 10 rows back and
people are still doing the wavelike six rows up.
So they're getting closer, likethe wave of cockroaches is
getting closer to us and we'rejust sitting there and
michelle's like I don't want tobring roaches home with us.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I'm like I don't want to bring them home with us
either.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
You're not gonna bring them home.
No, you never know, dude, younever know, ain't drinking dude
anything then?
Things could live in the soulof your crock until hatching
dude tony doesn't even comb hishair.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
They probably he's got cockroach eggs in his hair
right now.
He just got home from florida,so you guys left the fucking
show.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
No, we moved back to like 10 rows and the fucking
show starts.
And my four-year-old is into it.
He is standing on the fuckingbleachers, he's clapping when
things are happening and then hesits down about 10 minutes into
it and passes the fuck out hefalls asleep.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
People during the show are still jumping up
screaming for these cockroachesdude, I wish I had the the
mentality of your fuckingfour-year-old to just fucking
not care about shit.
I'd be such a better person sowe knew that.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
The thousands of people that were going to be
scurrying down this 12 foot widepath when this thing ended, and
now I gotta carry a sleepingchild after being at disney for
14 hours I'm like let's justfucking go and chase is like
thank you thank you.
I need to get away from theseroaches did you check your son's
(18:23):
pockets and shit?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
for no, I didn't climbing in there for a soft
spot we could have cockroachescurrently, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
So we went, uh, we were at that lego land, which is
like an hour away from orlando,and uh, and one of the exhibits
they had the lego ninjongo,yeah, yeah, um exhibit and they
have this big like japanesestyle rock garden and there was
(18:54):
like a four foot black snakethat was scurrying through this
rock garden.
Some of those are poisonousyeah, I think.
I think it was a rat snake, I'mnot a snake expert but it
looked like a normal rat snake.
But my four-year-old.
(19:14):
His first reaction to it was torun after it and catch it dude,
you know fast snakes yeahfucking he almost got it a
couple times unbelievably fastand it did scurry its way all
the way over to me and I I didpick it up by its tail, so I'm
probably not the best examplefor the four-year-old, but I was
(19:37):
just gonna pick it up by thetail and fucking move it over
back to the bushes to get itaway from, but uh, my kid, yeah,
like, whip it like a, like awhip, like.
Oh man, I ain't trying to hurtit or nothing, just to get it
out of the way, I'm not sayingkill it.
Dude, what if something fucking30 times your size?
Just picked your little ass up.
Everything is 30 times my size.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
By your face tail and whipped you across.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
My face tail.
You're talking about my nose.
Asshole you dick.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
And fucking threw you across a parking lot Like don't
hurt it, just fuck it.
And fucking threw you acrossthe parking lot like don't hurt
it, just fucking.
Oh, that would hurt.
No, I just I went to go move itand, uh, my fucking
four-year-old spent a half hourtrying to like rustle that thing
out of bush.
It's like there was nothing Icould do to keep him away from
trying to catch there is apoisonous black snake in florida
(20:30):
.
Well, it could have got him.
I don't know I got him, I don'tknow got him you got him.
I don't know what it's called,but there is one that is
poisonous so so the next day I'mlike, I'm like, dude, that was
so fucking crazy with thosecockroaches, like how many of
them I couldn't imagine werethere, I can't believe it place
still operates fully infestedyeah and, uh, you can't stop
(20:54):
them.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Though you can't stop a cockroach infestation.
No, it's unbelievably in pot.
You can't stop it.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, the orcan man can't do shit.
He walks in, he walks right thefuck out he's like I take these
dirty motherfuckers back home,if you have bats, spiders,
centipedes, cockroaches.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I'm done.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
I don't pay for that so I started googling phantasmic
cockroaches and there arethousands of fucking articles
written about the fat phantasmiccockroach infestation over the
course of the last year and ahalf.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
My guess is the sewer or whatever it is Well.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah, they like that moist yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Whatever that is that takes the water down and brings
it back.
That's where they'remultiplying like a fucking
frenzy.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Like cockroaches.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
It's wild dude.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
They're going to have to fucking set that whole
amphitheater on fire.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
We know what I want to hear.
I want to hear someone else'sstory about a cockroach.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Oh, dude if you got a cool cockroach story like an
apartment infestation, yeah, orthe time I stayed at mount
olympus at the dows and found acockroach on my door when I
opened it, jesus Christ.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Hit us up in the comments.
We would love to hear any typeof cockroach story.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
And don't even just limit yourself to cockroaches.
Give me your best spider story.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
No, I don't want any of those.
No, no Negative, not any ofthose Thanks for tuning in today
.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
You guys have been wonderful.
Peace out.
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You ever go out of town and meet some new,
unexpected friends, some friendsyou didn't know you had, some
friends you didn't know youwanted, some friends you
actually can't escape from.
I'm gonna tell you my disneystory from spring break 2024 on
this week's episode of top shelfstories bam.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
okay, that sounds like a herpes Can.
Did you get herpes?
No, okay.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So uh went to Florida , as you may have heard on a
previous episode, and uh took to, the took the kids to the
magical place on earth, mostmagic place on earth.
I don't know how they coin it,but it's a pretty cool fucking
place.
It's Disney.
We went place on earth I don'tknow how they coin it, but it's
a pretty cool fucking place.
It's disney.
We went to, uh, disneyhollywood studios and the reason
(01:10):
we went there is because it wasmy four-year-old's first time
going jealous and uh, the 11year old's been there like three
or four times because he'sspoiled, fucking rotten.
But uh, hollywood studios hasthis thing at the end of the
night called phantasmic and uh,the park closes at nine.
(01:31):
Um, well, they stop letting youin line for the rides at nine,
but at 10 o'clock they have thisshow in an empathy outside
amphitheater and it's, it's,it's nothing less than a magical
show.
It's there's like bellagiostyle water fountains and a lot
(01:57):
of the show.
Uh, they, they run these waterfountains to the point where
they create a solid wall ofwater, if that makes sense.
There's like a vertical wall.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Can you walk off?
Twitter is in like a lake or apond.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So you sit in this amphitheater and then in front
of you there's a moat with anIsland in the middle and all
this, all this water featurehappens, you know, between you
and the island.
And when they run this solidscreen wall of water they
project movie clips and shit onit and it's fucking crazy, yeah.
(02:38):
And then on the island there'sa mountain and they do all kinds
of like stunt things and it'slike little clips for movies and
there's boats going around onthe moat with people dancing on
them.
It is the coolest fucking showyou've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I fucking love this what's the name of the show?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
phantasmic.
Oh, you did say that.
Um, it's just it's really.
It sounds a little sexualreally the coolest thing that'd
be orgasmic yeah that's, yeah,that would be.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's .
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Maybe they have a later show that's called
orgasmic I mean, I'm sure that'swhat the cast does when she's
done and instead of a mount,instead of a moat, they use the
ladies but uh.
So I was really excited becausewe were trying to decide
whether to take the kids tomagic kingdom or hollywood
(03:31):
studios.
Like there's more for kids todo at magic kingdom, it's better
for the four-year-old.
But more kiddies I really wantedto show him this show because I
knew he'd be totally into it.
So the show's at 10 and we'relike we want to get really good
seats and everything at disney.
There's so many people so we goget in line for this show at
(03:55):
nine o'clock so we get to it.
We stand in this line an hourearly and it's not like a roller
coaster ride where you're anhour early, where you're where
you're walking for an hourmoving and you're standing there
still for an hour.
So it was fucking impossible tokeep the kids in line, not
(04:17):
acting crazy.
But we made it through and theylet us in and it's like a mile
walk to this amphitheater sothis is the point where your
four-year-old is as bad as your11-year-old during turbulence.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Because you can't stand, you just stand still.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah right, there's like a lot going on and we get
down there and we're like 70thin line which I mean there's
probably that's not a lot.
There's probably like 1500people.
So we're gonna get in thecenter and they kind of seat you
.
You know they kind of likeusher you in the seats and your
(04:55):
position, and there there was.
So the amphitheater consists oflike five different sections
that are probably 50, 60 feetlong and we're going to be in
the middle one.
But in front of those sectionsis like the wheelchair handicap,
(05:20):
you know, kind of like 12 foot.
There's like two 12 foot aislesin front, like the very front
okay, and they kind of warn youlike if you sit in like the
first couple rows you're gonnaget wet yeah, yeah yeah, and
we're like chase is superexcited.
He's like, yeah, let's, let's doit, let's get wet, you know,
all right cool sorry, we'regonna do it like.
(05:42):
This is gonna be like this isgonna be the part of the
vacation that my four-year-oldactually like retains and
remembers, because chaseremembers this and we haven't
been there since he was like sixyears old to this show so like
two more years.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Oh, I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Just kidding.
But we're sitting up front,we're like fucking hyped, like
this is going to be the shit.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Handicappers who came moved you to the back.
No, no.
Handicappers who came beat theshit out of you.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
No, we told the handicapped people like you can
fucking go over there.
We waited, you can wait we, wewaited.
You can't stroll in at the lastfucking second and take our
prime seats.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
You think you can just walk up in here, or I mean
roll up in here and take my seatyou know, the whole back is
flat level ground.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
You can sit up there, bitch.
So we're on this little, likefucking small bench.
We're all excited.
Uh, michelle and the 11 yearold went and got some popcorn
and we're getting fucking ready.
The kids are asking for neonglowing bubble makers and I'm
like, fuck you, bitch, we ain'ttaking those home.
They had like 80 a piece, right.
(06:58):
So we're getting.
We're like fucking ready to go,dude.
And I'm looking and I got alittle concrete wall in front of
me and then in the concretewall is a railing that's, you
know, a foot and a half tallerthan it.
You know kind of just a barrierrunning across the whole front
so you can't jump into the moat.
(07:19):
And uh, is the alligators inthe moat could be.
But there's, there's a full,like foot wide drain that runs
across the whole front of thiswall.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, you get splashed.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
So when the water comes through, it can get back
into the moat.
Yeah, and I'm sitting therewith the four-year-old and I'm
looking and I see the biggestfucking cockroach.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Oh, I've ever seen him give me a description on,
give me something, a comparable.
It's something, uh, an originalflip phone those aren't that
big for a cockroach.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
That's fucking gigantic it is it?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
is I actually small?
I had some small flip, originalflip the odd days the phones
are bigger than they were.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, if okay, okay, fine, if your.
If your middle child made afist, it would be the size of
the top of his hand okay, it'sfucking enormous.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
So did it have two black eyes or not eyes, but fake
eyes on the top of it too?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
It was just a brown disgusting fucking, I think, all
the Floridians call thempalmettos.
Yeah, they're fine with them.
A palmetto is not a cockroach.
These were them palmettos.
Yeah, they're fine with them.
A palmetto is not a cockroach.
These were cockroaches though.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Okay, I'm like oh okay, there's a cockroach.
It goes scurrying across thiswall.
I'm like maybe that's anisolated incident, oh my God.
And then I look over there'sanother cockroach.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
They.
And then I look over, there'sanother cockroach, oh my God.
So I mean, they're mostlyharmless too.
I know I'm like okay.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah, but people freak out about it because
they're so I mean to me.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
The name is Cockroach , dude, nobody wants that shit.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
The name is terrible enough, but if it was a spider
cockroaches don't bother, Ifit's a spider I'd be crying.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
So now the cockroaches are playing and it
runs about three inches in frontof the top of my foot.
They're chasing each other.
I'm sure they weren't like thetoy they might have been
fighting, but to me it lookedlike they were gently playing.
They were playing tag, oh, mygod and uh, it runs right in
front of my foot and I'm like,I'm like, okay, well, like I can
(09:46):
deal with this, but I thinkmichelle's gonna freak out if
she sees this dude, bring yourgun, take your killer I know,
take your gun out.
I pulled my sock knife out and Itried to stab it, but they were
too fucking fast.
So so, between my little rowand the other little row where
(10:10):
the person on the motorizedscooter would be sitting.
There was a gigantic manholecover and you know like a big,
like 24 inch manhole cover, andso they have these little holes
on opposite ends.
Yeah, pick it, lift it to.
(10:30):
To shove the hook down and liftit up.
And I'm looking and that holeis fucking filled, oh, with
roaches and they're scurryingout.
And now there's dozens of them,okay, running around and I'm
like the the family's gonnafucking freak the fuck out
(10:54):
you're trying to keep it quietsome all I'm not saying, yeah,
my family.
So then I look behind me andmichelle and the 11 year old are
walking down the amphitheaterto get back to us and a
motorized scooter is passing infront of us, okay, in front of
me, and she runs over acockroach right in front of my
(11:16):
foot, okay, okay.
So it's like a big deadcockroach still like twitching.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
It's still alive.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Eight inches in front of my foot.
She only ran over the back halfof it.
Don't die Because her tirewasn't big enough to get over
the whole.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Thing.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So I'm like, I'm like motherfucker, now I got this
twitching upside down, half deadcockroach in front of me
twitching and the family'scoming down without food.
So I'm like, oh fuck, now we'resitting there and now they're
there's, now there's dozens ofthem out and they're running on
(11:58):
the face of the wall across thefront of us back and forth so
wait, one and one dies and itsignals like, uh, I don't,
they're fucking everywhere.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
They gotta check out.
Well, yeah, they probably smellthe death and they're like what
happened?
We gotta go check out where'sbilly?
Oh fuck, billy's fucked.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I gotta go see too oh fuck, I'm gonna go see too like
you remember joe's apartmentwithout cockroaches talking and
shit.
So chase sees the one wigglingand he looks at, he's watching
them on the wall and they'relike on the fucking railing.
And now, dude, now, by thistime there's hundreds of them
out oh my god and they're allthat size and chase goes what
(12:36):
are those?
And michelle looks at and shegoes oh my god, I think those
are cockroaches.
And I'm like well, they'redefinitely cockroaches, you
don't have to think they are.
And now she's on her phoneGoogling huge cockroach
Cockroaches indigenous toFlorida.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Are they poisonous?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Do they bite?
So Michelle's like I don't'tknow, I think we need to move
and I'm like, well, we have thebest seats.
Now I'm like I wouldn't mindgetting away from this manhole
cover that they're filing out ofsingle, single file like
(13:16):
fucking soldier ants.
I'm like I wouldn't mindgetting away from this.
So we move over to one of theside sections, in like the
second row there's.
So now we're like 20 feet awayfrom the manhole cover and now
they're working their way intothe crowd, and now the crowd oh,
yeah, that'd be amazing,they're screaming.
(13:39):
They're doing the wave andscreaming really yeah, so
everybody's like standing up andfucking standing on the fucking
bleachers, and there's thiswhole fucking big ordeal, and
then there's good, and thenthere's like when was?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
this.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
This is better than this show there's like three of
them eating a piece of popcornright in front of me, right
right in front of like michelle,and shit.
When was this, huh?
When was this sorry?
Uh, last wednesday, oh, it wasokay, your florida trip and uh
Florida trip and Michelle's likeshould I go stomp on him?
(14:16):
I'm like you don't go stomp onhim.
I'm like you never stomp aroach.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, because they get stuck on the eggs and shit.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
They're always filled with eggs and they fucking
hatch, no matter what Likenuclear fucking science can't
kill them.
What like nuclear fuckingscience can't kill them.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I'm like you're we're not, we're not bringing home
this fucking mutant problem.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Florida, florida theme park, bro, yeah like I'm
sitting here with a 20 ouncefucking fast food cup in front
of me and you could fit likefive of them in here they're
fucking enormous god.
So chase is like should I gostomp it?
I'm like no, just don't touchthem, just let them fucking go
about their business.
The show's about to start,let's just fucking concentrate
(15:01):
on that.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Once the water starts flowing.
They probably won't.
It's just I don't know.
I maybe they, you know that'stheir, that's their fucking ride
to them, yeah this is theirhighlight of the fucking night.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
They're like let's go antagonize all these white
people.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
The wave's coming guys.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Where's?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Billy, oh yeah, he was killed by the fucking
wheelchair, wheelchair, billy,billy.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
The rugged real man who's sitting behind us sees all
these people freaking out, andthen he goes up and he starts
stomping him he killed probably10 of them right, and he's irish
dancing all through the fronttrying to fucking stomp these
ass fuckers and he's gettingthem, he's getting them, but
(15:52):
eventually chase goes, forgetthis and he moves back like 10
more rows what is your youngestdoing?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I feel like that would be.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
He doesn't call he doesn't give a fuck about
anything that's going on juicebox.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Yeah, he's like he's sharing popcorn with the
cockroach.
I feel like your son, youryoungest son, would be like oh,
I'm ready to fucking kill him,dad.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
He's like this is the best.
Yes, he's like this is good asa turbulence dad and see, the
thing is is is.
Every time I take the kids toflorida, we spend the whole time
looking everywhere for themlittle fucking anole lizards
that are everywhere so they'relooking, trying to catch them so
now, this is just like findingthe lizards.
(16:35):
He's like look, dad, there'sanother cockroach.
Look, there's a cockroach and sonow we're like 10 rows back and
people are still doing the wavelike six rows up.
So they're getting closer, likethe wave of cockroaches is
getting closer to us and we'rejust sitting there and
michelle's like I don't want tobring roaches home with us.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I'm like I don't want to bring them home with us
either.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
You're not gonna bring them home.
No, you never know, dude, younever know, ain't drinking dude
anything then?
Things could live in the soulof your crock until hatching
dude tony doesn't even comb hishair.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
They probably he's got cockroach eggs in his hair
right now.
He just got home from florida,so you guys left the fucking
show.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
No, we moved back to like 10 rows and the fucking
show starts.
And my four-year-old is into it.
He is standing on the fuckingbleachers, he's clapping when
things are happening and then hesits down about 10 minutes into
it and passes the fuck out hefalls asleep.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
People during the show are still jumping up
screaming for these cockroachesdude, I wish I had the the
mentality of your fuckingfour-year-old to just fucking
not care about shit.
I'd be such a better person sowe knew that.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
The thousands of people that were going to be
scurrying down this 12 foot widepath when this thing ended, and
now I gotta carry a sleepingchild after being at disney for
14 hours I'm like let's justfucking go and chase is like
thank you thank you.
I need to get away from theseroaches did you check your son's
(18:23):
pockets and shit?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
for no, I didn't climbing in there for a soft
spot we could have cockroachescurrently, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
So we went, uh, we were at that lego land, which is
like an hour away from orlando,and uh, and one of the exhibits
they had the lego ninjongo,yeah, yeah, um exhibit and they
have this big like japanesestyle rock garden and there was
(18:54):
like a four foot black snakethat was scurrying through this
rock garden.
Some of those are poisonousyeah, I think.
I think it was a rat snake, I'mnot a snake expert but it
looked like a normal rat snake.
But my four-year-old.
(19:14):
His first reaction to it was torun after it and catch it dude,
you know fast snakes yeahfucking he almost got it a
couple times unbelievably fastand it did scurry its way all
the way over to me and I I didpick it up by its tail, so I'm
probably not the best examplefor the four-year-old, but I was
(19:37):
just gonna pick it up by thetail and fucking move it over
back to the bushes to get itaway from, but uh, my kid, yeah,
like, whip it like a, like awhip, like.
Oh man, I ain't trying to hurtit or nothing, just to get it
out of the way, I'm not sayingkill it.
Dude, what if something fucking30 times your size?
Just picked your little ass up.
Everything is 30 times my size.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
By your face tail and whipped you across.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
My face tail.
You're talking about my nose.
Asshole you dick.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
And fucking threw you across a parking lot Like don't
hurt it, just fuck it.
And fucking threw you acrossthe parking lot like don't hurt
it, just fucking.
Oh, that would hurt.
No, I just I went to go move itand, uh, my fucking
four-year-old spent a half hourtrying to like rustle that thing
out of bush.
It's like there was nothing Icould do to keep him away from
trying to catch there is apoisonous black snake in florida
(20:30):
.
Well, it could have got him.
I don't know I got him, I don'tknow got him you got him.
I don't know what it's called,but there is one that is
poisonous so so the next day I'mlike, I'm like, dude, that was
so fucking crazy with thosecockroaches, like how many of
them I couldn't imagine werethere, I can't believe it place
still operates fully infestedyeah and, uh, you can't stop
(20:54):
them.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Though you can't stop a cockroach infestation.
No, it's unbelievably in pot.
You can't stop it.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, the orcan man can't do shit.
He walks in, he walks right thefuck out he's like I take these
dirty motherfuckers back home,if you have bats, spiders,
centipedes, cockroaches.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I'm done.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
I don't pay for that so I started googling phantasmic
cockroaches and there arethousands of fucking articles
written about the fat phantasmiccockroach infestation over the
course of the last year and ahalf.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
My guess is the sewer or whatever it is Well.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah, they like that moist yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Whatever that is that takes the water down and brings
it back.
That's where they'remultiplying like a fucking
frenzy.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Like cockroaches.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
It's wild dude.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
They're going to have to fucking set that whole
amphitheater on fire.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
We know what I want to hear.
I want to hear someone else'sstory about a cockroach.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Oh, dude if you got a cool cockroach story like an
apartment infestation, yeah, orthe time I stayed at mount
olympus at the dows and found acockroach on my door when I
opened it, jesus Christ.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Hit us up in the comments.
We would love to hear any typeof cockroach story.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
And don't even just limit yourself to cockroaches.
Give me your best spider story.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
No, I don't want any of those.
No, no Negative, not any ofthose Thanks for tuning in today
.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
You guys have been wonderful.
Peace out.
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