Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Top Shelf Stories
with J, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Sippy, sippy, a dippy
.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I really like our
intro, guys oh.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I'm in love with it.
I listen to it every timebefore I go to sleep at night,
Just so I get Actually before.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I have sex.
I listen to it usually.
Oh, it gets you in the mood.
Yeah, and after.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I listen to it during
it's still playing.
It the mood, yeah.
And after I listen to it duringit's still playing.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
It's still playing
when I'm done and the intro is
just long enough for you tofinish up and clean up.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
We're not even
talking by the time I'm done,
this song is in like a threeminute repeat.
So when that three minutes hits, it returns to Chris's voice
saying welcome.
Hits, it returns to Chris'svoice saying welcome, oh, it
does On loop.
Yeah, and that fact you'rejizzing when Chris is talking
about, like you just oh, I'malready napping by the time he
(01:16):
comes back up.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
My wife's already
knee deep and making me a
sandwich.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'll never forget
that Knee deep.
I'll never forget, I'll neverforget that.
I'll never forget.
I'll never forget you guystalking.
We were talking about sex inone of the podcasts.
Chris is like I forget whathappened.
But Tony said, after I have sex, I got you know.
And then Chris is like what yougo downstairs and make a snack.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Man's got to eat.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
She usually gets it
for me all right, so I get.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I gathered you guys
here tonight to talk about
bullying, bullying bully.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
This sounds serious,
jay so my 12 year old.
He got bullied pretty fuckinghard when he was a first grader.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I'll tell you about
that one when, when I'm done
with when you're done, so I Idefinitely got bullied to a
fucking t when I was still do.
Yeah, I've been bullying youfor over an hour today already
every podcast you listen to onour show, I am the one that is
being bullied, maybe because I'mshort, maybe because I don't
(02:23):
say the right shit, but yeah,I'm always being bullied.
I think it's the right shit.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
But yeah, I'm always
being bullied.
I think it's the protectiveglass.
We keep you in back there inthe tech studio.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I can tell you it has
nothing to do with your height,
because when I look at youwe're the same size that's
because you're on a couch nowand I'm on a well high chair
fuck you um no, I bully youbecause you're my friend, no,
and I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I love it because you
know what it makes for a good
show.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I would never treat a
stranger the way I treat you
let's go, amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I don't know.
If that's, I'm fine I just Ijust listened to this uh fucking
thing, I don't know.
It just came on my feed onFacebook About bullying, yeah,
and the guy's like how do youdeter, deter, is that the word?
Deter, deter, thank you A bully.
And his insight was to tell thebully.
(03:18):
To tell the bully that, yes,everything that he says about me
is true and I'm happy for it.
But okay, now if a kid'sfucking rapping at you and just
pounded?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
into you well that's.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Can you really just
go?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
oh yeah, awesome, it
feels great what you're saying
well, if you remember the cultclassic movie eight mile yeah,
that's how he wins that's how hewins the rap battle he's like,
yeah, I'm white.
Yeah, I live in a trailer, sohe's like here's something about
you.
They don't know I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I put that scene in
the movie into my playlist from
the last weekend, but never mind, sorry I don't remember that
part, but basically with theguys rapping at him talking shit
, and then he raps back yeah,he's like yeah, I'm white, yeah,
my mom does drugs.
Like he just rips it all out.
Okay, yeah, he agrees witheverything.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
He says, so everyone,
and then he talks about hey,
this is clarence and clarence.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Parents have a real
good marriage so everyone that's
been bullied should watch eightmile, but just the end just a
rap battle battle Kind of it'son YouTube.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Like I said, I put it
in a playlist.
I made a beautiful playlist.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
So I Great Trump
accent.
He said the same shit.
I didn't even notice it.
It was a wonderful playlist.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Possibly the best
playlist.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Some might say and he
looks around at the others you
said it over here.
Some might say it's the bestplayers.
Some might say and he looksaround at the others.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
You said it.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
You said it over here
.
Yeah, some might say it's thegreatest playlist.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I don't know, I
talked to my friend Dan.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Great guy, maybe the
greatest ever.
Well, he says to his I talkedto my friend Dan Great guy
Probably one of the best guys.
Stop talking about my playlist.
What he does say, a lot too, isnever seen before.
Yeah, like never seen before.
Built like never before, neverbefore anyway.
Whatever, who cares about the?
President, bullying, you'rebullying our president now, oh
(05:12):
yeah, that's true, we are holyshit, which is crazy because all
I hear about is that ourpresident is the biggest bully
of all time.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
But he's the most
bullied.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's, I think,
where we're getting.
Oh my god, how can you be?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
a bully, being
bullied.
That's what makes you a bully,right?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
That's multi-level
marketing in a bully game.
It's a pyramid scheme ofbullies.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
The more you bully
him, the more bully comes back
to you.
Man, I gotta recruit three newbullies.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Move up back to you,
man, I gotta recruit three new
bullies Move up.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You get their
bullying forever.
Like you might stop, You'llstill get bullying from them.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It reciprocates
throughout the years.
It just rolls back to you.
Yeah, so I was bullied likecrazy.
When I was a kid, we talkedwhat?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
did this facebook
thing.
Say though hold on okay, sojust reminded you.
That's what made you think itwas a video.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
It was a video of a
dude and I don't know exactly
what it was, but he, I think hewas talking to a uh like a high
school and he was in anauditorium.
Uh, he had one of the schools,the students come up and he was
like give me your best bully.
And then he would first offnegative, take it negative and
(06:34):
fight back the bully, making thebully stronger.
And then the second part, he'dbe like, okay, now watch, I can
get this bully to stop bullyingme.
And she was.
And he told her I bet you I canget this bully to stop bullying
me.
And she was.
And he told her I bet you, Ican get you to stop, even though
you're acting, stop bullying me.
And then he did everything hecould to to to negate her bully.
(06:56):
And then she just at the end,just kind of like got sick of
bullying her and it worked.
It was kind of it was stupid,but at the same time I Bowling
and it worked.
It was stupid, but at the sametime I feel like it wouldn't
work.
Anyway, I was bullied likecrazy when I was in school for
being a Jehovah's Witness, forbeing short, for a lot of things
.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Those are actually
good reasons.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Well, yeah, I know,
but I was still bullied like
crazy.
So that's not what I'm talkingabout and that's not why I bring
it up.
I bring it up because now mykid, my middle kid, lyric, is
getting bullied really bad thathe doesn't even want to go to
school.
Oh man, he's trying to pretendlike he's sick.
Um, he he'll go to the nurse'soffice during school I don't
(07:43):
know if he's faking Maybe heisn't Fake dry, heaving like
he's sick just to get out ofschool and there's a couple kids
that are just relentlesslyfucking with him.
I mean, he is the shortest kidin the school.
I know, I understand so withyou, tony, but this is different
(08:03):
.
This is a different age.
Nowadays, you can't get awayfrom it.
Back, when you were young,school was done, you went home,
you didn't have a fucking phone,you didn't have Facebook, you
didn't have fucking Instagram,you didn't have these things
that could just keep attackingyou away from school.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Being a kid right now
has to be pretty, I mean.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
it constantly gets
more difficult being a human's,
difficult like an adult so Imean when I was in high school
and, like I said, much like youtell us how.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
You don't see color,
I don't see height, but we you
don't see height every singleepisode we've ever put out.
You've said something about myheight, but you just said
something about me sitting in abooster chair.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It was a high chair,
but yeah, he's right, he's right
.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Thank you, Chris.
Well, I don't see it.
I'm just told that you're short.
You're fucking bullshit.
And I'm told that you're shortby you.
You remind me I wasn't going tosay anything about a high chair
.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
But you're like how
do I remind you?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
I got bullied because
I was short and I'm like, oh
yeah, that's right, thismotherfucker's short.
But so I remember there beingshort kids in like middle school
and high school, yeah, andthose were the kids that were so
fucking tough that you didn'tdare fuck with them.
(09:33):
They would fuck you up.
Is this because our generationsare getting progressively
softer?
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Because I am the same
way.
I had to fucking fight back.
I uppercutted a fucking guy.
That was okay guy.
A kid that was two feet tallerthan me, I uppercutted a grown
man when I was in middle schoolfuck that teacher.
No, I thought you're gonna sayup a gun.
I uppercutted a upper cutted agrown man when I was a grown man
(10:06):
because I couldn't reach his.
I'm sure you did that also.
No, I had to fight, likephysically fight, to defend my
sanctity as being, uh, not abitch.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
But he's he's, uh,
he's so.
So that's that's what I'msaying.
Like I don't know lyric, I'mnot like friends with him or
anything, but I Like I don'tknow Lyric, I'm not like friends
with him or anything, but I'vemet him Hold on.
I wouldn't know.
I've met him a couple times.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Oh hey, dad, you know
I just had a conversation with
Tony Like what yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:38):
we were Snapchatting
each other.
No, but I've met him a coupletimes in the last five years.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
No, but I've met him
a couple times in the last five
years.
Yeah, we just went to theMilwaukee.
What the fuck am I trying tosay?
The Bucks game?
Yeah, the Bucks game.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
He's a sweet kid.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Lyric is a super
fucking nice kid, I know but
he's emotional, super emotional,and this is what my brother
tells me because he'sleft-handed.
Left-handed people use theother side of the brain, which
is more emotions.
Basically, you're a guy, butyou get on the girl's side of
reality but you get periods.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
No, I don't know if
there's science behind
left-handedness.
My brother says left-handed,people.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Well, he's gotta be
right and says he's gotta be
right.
Yeah, that's a good source.
I'm with you I guess.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I mean, I don't know,
that's all I know is dan lefty.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Oh, of course, yeah
yeah, that's why he's well.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
No, I'm just that's
why he's yes.
That's of course why he'ssaying it.
He probably, fucking like,looks it up on the internet and
finds out what.
Hey?
What is wrong with me beingleft-handed?
Why am I?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
the way I am oh.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I'm lefty, you know
you don't live as long.
I mean left-handed people.
There's a lot of there'shardships.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah, like scissors,
they're really difficult when
you've got to use your left.
That like scissors, they'rereally difficult when you gotta
use your left.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
That makes me laugh.
Every time he needed me to cutsomething, every time he needed
something precisely cut withscissors, he always gave it to
me.
That's what makes me laugh, I'msorry.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I don't know my kid's
lefty and I just taught her to
cut with her right hand withscissors.
Maybe she's unprotection callwith her right hand with
scissors.
Maybe she's, maybe she's aprotectionist.
I love you.
I love you, but not enough toget special scissors.
You can't live life gettingspecial shit your whole life.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Adapt that.
That reminds me of the simpsons.
Ned flanders was a known lefty.
Everybody knew that because heowned a business in the mall
called the Leftorium.
Yeah, I remember the Leftorium.
Yeah, yeah, turns out it wasn'treal.
I just kept trying to ordershit online and never send it.
(12:57):
But I think, I don't know, thismight just be me generalizing or
, uh, not being involved inevery group of people growing up
, but I feel like the generationis is way, way softer as people
.
But yeah, I agree, some of thekids are still assholes, like
(13:20):
that's a yeah I think passeddown from generation to
generation.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I think every
generation humans become weaker
and weaker and more bitch-made.
So wait okay, because our livesare too fucking easy on the
outside.
And then, when shit hard comes,all of a sudden it's like how
do I fucking handle this?
And no one can fucking handleshit.
And when it was back in the dayit was like I got two nickels
(13:46):
to rub together.
Life is good.
And now it's like I got 100bucks in my pocket how am I
gonna live?
Like when I was I mean that's agood.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I know the exact
reason.
I know the exact reason.
Back in the day, our day, wehad nothing to take our mind off
of it, so we had to think aboutit and figure out ways to
navigate the negatives yeah, butyour dad thought you were a
bitch because you had fuckingnintendo and cable tv and color
and fucking cars and nowadayskids you say cars, knives.
(14:19):
Nowadays kids they they forgetabout shit because all they do
is watch other people online onTikTok, on fucking you know all
the little small things.
And they never had the chanceto just take the time to think
about what they can do better tofucking you know.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Well, they have no
life experience.
They're watching somebodyelse's life experience.
Yeah, watching somebody else'slife experience.
Yeah, you know when?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
when my 12 year old
was, I don't know like seven uh,
he would watch other familiesplay on the internet and uh, all
kids do.
My kid did it and I'd be likewhat the fuck, bro, I'm right
here, like watching kids playdollhouse instead of playing
dollhouse with dad is what I hadto, you know so.
And then I had to imitate whatthose kids did.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I had to like, talk,
like, like they did, so yeah,
just to get your daughter toacknowledge you as a human being
, because I had to act like thefucking tv or the ipad you had
to cut a fucking perfectrectangle inside of a cardboard
box and hold it over your headfor her to acknowledge you
(15:35):
getting poked in the fucking eyeand it was all afternoon just
an extension cord hanging out ofit, plugged into the wall.
She swipes sideways.
Chris changes his face changesthe fucking video she's all
fucking pissed because she can'tmake Chris go away.
No, so, so here's, here's aquestion, uh, and I'm not
(15:58):
talking about beating your assor anything, but did Scott or
Pat hit you guys?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I don't think so.
No, I don't think so.
I had some shit, but I don'tthink it was physical.
Okay, I think there was likenot fist, for sure not no, not
fist, I'm not saying, but I gotspanked and things like that and
grabbed by the arm and tossedinto the bedroom, kind of thing,
(16:32):
and like that, kind of likethey're yeah tempers ran and it
wasn't off limits, I think, iswhat you're getting at is where,
and now it is I'm not talkingabout like when you were a
teenager and you had a girl overand scott came down with a
Speaker 3 (16:43):
stick out to scare
her out of the room uh like you
ever get grabbed and thrownagainst the wall or slapped or
anything like that sure, and youknow my dad spanked.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
He would spank the
shit out of us and that's a
normal thing, I think, okay doyou do that to your own kids?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
no, I wouldn't touch,
okay.
No, how do you think scott orpat's parents treated them?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
oh, so you're talking
about like this scale more
physical level discipline soyou're saying we're everything.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Every generation is
scaling down.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, so I mean for
the generation after this
generation it's your dad'sresponsibility to teach you how
to take a punch well, that'swhat they always say, like no,
but for real, I think whatyou're getting at is a common
thread.
Like people are, like yourparents always say this your
generation is so fucked up andweak.
(17:38):
It's like bitch, you fuckingbred us.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
You're the one who
did it.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
You did it like what
do you mean?
We are this, we're the resultof our parents.
And then we continue to likeyeah, there's a line here.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
We're talking and my
mom.
Of course, my mom always talksabout shit that I do.
That's negative and I'm likeyou know what?
Who the fuck did I learn itfrom?
Or where right my the genes Igot are from you yeah, not from
a fucking, unless you're nottelling me the truth, and I was
fucking changed at birth.
You're my mom, I got it fromyou.
(18:14):
Why are you fucking diss ortalking shit?
Speaker 3 (18:17):
about it right, and
I'm not saying that this is a
right or wrong method ofthinking.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I think life in
general is easier.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
I don't treat my
child that way either.
Right?
If you took my kid in a roomand told him you can be
completely honest, he would saymy dad's a pussy.
He doesn't even hit me.
No way.
But just think about this.
No way.
(18:45):
But.
But just think about this whenyou were getting your ass
whooped by a fucking grown,grown-up adult man.
It scares you.
We're just gonna say you're 10years old.
You talk some random shit toyour mom.
Your dad doesn't play peopletalking shit to his lady.
Yeah, he grabs you by yourfucking throat, slaps you across
your face, throws you into awall.
(19:05):
You go into your room and thenext day you go.
That never happened in my life,but yeah go on the next day you
go to school after your dad beatyour ass the night before and
some kid makes fun of your shoesare you gonna be afraid of a
fucking other 10 year old child,right?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
no, I get it but then
were those 10 year old charles
were children then morecamaraderie because they knew as
soon as they went home theywere getting bullied there, so
they didn't do it at school likeI didn't grow up with a dad so
I had to deal with mom trying tofucking hit me when I was a kid
and like dodging it, or pushingher back, or like I thought it
(19:46):
was a joke, but it wasn't.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
But there was a
couple times in my life.
One time my, my grandfather,grabbed me by my ear because I
didn't get out of his couch fastenough, or his little recliner
and threw me across the roomthat that's that's way, that the
extent of that is.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
It's ridiculous,
because you didn't get out of
the recliner.
There has to be more of that.
Oh yeah, no, you would you sayfuck off.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
No, my recliner no
like what did you say?
Grandpa was just pissed andneeded to bully someone.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
That's all that is no
, the thing is, is you know,
three or two generations for me,three generations for my kid?
Three generations ago theydidn't fucking play games.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
No, you were kids.
Offsprings to two, threegenerations ago were created to
work on the farm, to work in thething, to do the thing like it
was not.
You were a part of the fuckingjob.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Now you're not so
when I was like when I was
probably like 13 years old, 12years old, something like that,
my friend's dad slapped the shitout of me.
What, yeah, you don'tdisrespect a fucking grown-up
man?
Okay, it doesn't matter if he'srelated or not listen, you did
that shit today.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
That dude's going to
jail, oh for sure.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
But and getting raped
by but that's what I was by my
I.
My grandfather was the onewatching me, my mom was at work
at the time and I went home andI had a fucking black eye, oh my
god and uh, what the fuck didyour mom do?
uh you know I I told my grandpamy grandpa, who was worked in a
(21:28):
factory all his life, was asemi-professional golf uh, boxer
, I mean, not golfer uh he was.
He was in the war in germany,like he's a real fucking man.
And at the time my friend's dadand I mean I looked at him at
the time like he was 100 yearsold, but he's probably 37, right
(21:49):
you know what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, I do remember that,yeah I I mean now that I'm
thinking about it.
That's sad he.
He might have been like 31years old that's.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
That's sad that you
think about like someone that's
like 70.
You're like oh, I think thatlooks pretty fucking good, but
when you're like six, it lookslike he's almost about to die
yeah for real, it's not likelike thinking about it right now
.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I'm like, okay, we
were like 12, he was like early
20s when he had my friend Jason.
So that dude was like in hisearly like I'm 10 years older
than he was, yep At that point.
But my grandpa was like 70 andmy grandpa got out of his
fucking chair, which was a bigdeal Like getting out of the
(22:37):
chair.
He's getting, he's retired atthis point, like he's worked in
the fucking foundry his wholelife you must have been talking
smack dude you don't have a dad,I did, you said something to
him I I can tell you he'ssitting in his chair.
Tell you exactly.
So the dad was, was a real like.
He was funny as fuck and he wasreally sarcastic and we would
(23:04):
talk shit to each other as ajoke, like playing around right
and he wasn't having it and, uh,his big thing.
He would always call you afairy.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
I remember that
everyone used to call
Speaker 3 (23:19):
you a little fairy,
you know yeah and uh and I
remember vividly saying I'drather be a fairy than a piece
of white trash.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Oh god, and that'll
do it, I fucking caught them
hands right.
I don't think it was the chairdude, it was the trash talk,
yeah tony just makes it so bloodso easily like no offensive to
him.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
That was my friend's
dad.
I I call him a piece of whitetrash my grandpa and he put them
hands on me and I went home andI I told my grandpa, my grandpa
gets out of his chair and mygrandpa starts walking up the
block to go fuck this guy up.
And he's a 70 year old man,he's a retired man at this time.
Uh, up until the day he died.
I don't know that I would.
(24:05):
I I've ever had what it took tobeat him in a fight like my
grandpa would have beat my assuntil he got fucking put in the
hospital
Speaker 1 (24:14):
12 get this iv out of
me what'd you say, tony?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
but this?
This kid lived about sevenhouses up the way and I'm
walking with my grandpa to gowatch my grandpa beat the fuck
out of this old man who I'm justrealizing was like 31 and uh 10
years younger than you are nowand we get about four houses up
(24:40):
and my grandpa looks at me andhe's like, why did he hit you?
and I said, well, I called him apiece of white trash.
And he looked at me and thenlooked up at the house and then
just turned around and startedwalking back home and he's like,
yeah, you fuck.
Like he didn't say shit to me.
(25:01):
But right then I realized likeoh, I deserve that.
And uh, it was never reallytalked about again.
Like seven days later I didn'thave a black eye anymore, my
grandpa wasn't pissed at me, myfriend's dad was back to call me
a fairy like it was all.
Like the shit never happened.
Like yeah, can you imagine thateven happening right now?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Like Jay said,
there'd be a fucking
neighborhood watch program setin place specifically for this.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Child protective
services would take me from my
mother.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Dude.
You know why this would neverhappen.
People don't even let theirkids go over to other people's
kids' houses anymore, Especiallyif you're a Jehovah's Witness.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
You wouldn't let us
in your house, just your house,
just kidding.
No, I just I'll fuck with you,but no, like what.
What I want, what I was sayingin the beginning is my, my kid's
spinning is.
He's big, he's getting teasedat school, not wanting to go to
school, and I know I I kind oflike had to trick him out of
telling me who actually isteasing him, because he's not
(26:06):
that.
Better not be the fat kid.
No, no, why is that?
What was it?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Dude it's always a
fact.
The retaliation bully.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
No, because he
doesn't want to be the guy, the
kid that you know tells onsomeone else.
That makes him look like atattletale, or he's going to
feel like that guy's gonna getmore pissed at me and he's gonna
fuck with me more because Itold my parents.
So basically I had to fuckingjew it out of him.
I gave him a little schwindelabout like I'm not following.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Can you please
explain?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
shit, I shouldn't
have said that word, okay, so I
had to get it out of here whocares what.
I didn't give him any money,all right.
Is that what you're thinking?
I just got it out of him who.
It was found out that this kidis the uh, the son of of one of
my parents' good friends, and Itold my mom that, which was a
(27:07):
fucking bad fucking idea.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
But it wasn't like
she's grandma walking down the
street ready to beat dude's assnow.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
It wasn't good.
So she's like well, okay.
So I told her the first name ofthe kid and she's like well,
okay, so I told her the firstname of the kid and she's like
is this blank, blank?
And I was like I don't know, Ijust know his first name you
already said a racial slur.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
You might as well
just say the people's names too.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
We don't need to know
names.
Well, she's like Children.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
She's like is this,
who Is this that person, is this
that person?
I'm like I don't really know, Ijust know the first name.
Find out if it's that person,now let me know who it is right
away.
I'm like, okay, mom, chill,just relax.
I mean, this is my son, notyours.
Just give me a second breathe,I'll let.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'll give the details
that kid is the only reason she
had you.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
It's a grand baby,
I'll find it out, I'll let you
know my mom's fucking.
She's a fighter.
She'll fight men if she has to.
Uh, so I do find out who it isand I it is the actual person
that um is friends with myparents and no, my mom doesn't
(28:19):
go over there and fight the momor the dad.
My dad actually calls theparents and tells the dad that
your son is fucking with mygrandson.
He's got to stop.
I mean, I don't know the actualdetails of what he said.
Whatever he said, he said itwith his hands.
(28:40):
Yes, he did.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
On the phone.
He said it with his hands.
Yes, he did.
On the phone, he said it.
I can't even hear him becausethe phone keeps going in the air
over and over.
Scott, you're cut now.
You're cut now, I think you gota bad connection.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
He's like no, I don't
, I'm just using my hands to
talk.
So you have to have a visual Ofthat, because that was
hilarious.
That's a little too insidebaseball I know, but the visual
of that was very funny.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
The three dimers will
know, scott used to call in on
that show.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yeah, and every time
he talks he's like Because he's
talking with his hands.
So, uh, my dad called him upand talked to him.
Let them, let him know the thelowdown about what the fuck's
going on.
And he's like this is notacceptable.
The dad of the son, I am goingto make sure, blah, blah, blah,
(29:39):
this and that.
So I guess it worked out in hisfavor, my son's favor.
He didn't fuck with him anymore.
But then another kid startedfucking with him and now I don't
know who this kid is.
But now my son is like I just,I mean, he's an emotional kid
and now you're you have to makethe call and now I might have to
go to the school and startbeating some ass, don't go to
(30:02):
the school.
Oh, I might have to go to theschool and start beating some
ass, don't go to the school.
Oh, I will go to the school.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
You go to their
fucking house.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I'll go to the school
.
Well, I have to find out whothe kid is first.
This last name, that's what I'mgoing to get.
I'm going to go in there, findthe last name and an address,
and then I'm going to go to thehouse.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
That ain't happening.
I don't think you know howschools work.
It'll happen.
It ain't happening.
I can make it happen.
It ain't happening.
No, but this is how I wouldlike.
What is the complainantcomplaining about?
What is your kid whining or notwhining?
But, like Before, I answer thatquestion.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Before I answer that
question.
You're right, this is what Iwould want to do, but I know
that it's not going to doanything if I try, Because he
has to do it himself.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Well because you just
explained.
It went from one kid, now it'sa different fucking kid.
Kids are assholes.
And if your kid's sensitive,then he's probably taking it
seriously, so you have tosomehow make it a joke.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, and I think my
son isn't really telling me all
the extent of everything.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
No, because he
doesn't want.
Yeah, so he just told me onekid.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I got it out of him
and then, well, okay, so the one
kid the the biggest kid I guesshe said that was fucking with
him was in a spanish class.
He sat next to him.
We got in contact with thespanish teacher.
We told her to change the seatsthe next day.
Change the seats.
My son was like, oh, he washappy because the that makes
(31:27):
sense, that's good mitigation.
He wasn't sitting next to thekid anymore, but he didn't know
it was because I talked.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
No, that's good
mitigation right there.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
To the Spanish
teacher.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yeah, I don't know,
man Like what is it?
What is a kid saying that he'sthere?
They're bothering him Becausehe's shorter, he's smaller.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Well, they call him
midget, they call him smurf,
they call him all the smallshort names that can just
irritate someone.
When you do it on a veryrelentless, kind of asinine way,
where it's never ending, yeah,and I've experienced that in my
life and I know how it is and Iknow how to deflect it.
But sometimes you just can't.
(32:05):
Sometimes you just get fuckingpissed.
You want to do something, youwant to fucking hurt that person
, but you know you're notsupposed to or you know you
can't.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
So how do you explain
to a what is your kid?
Seven, you said, or nine,Twelve, Twelve?
How do you explain to a12-year-old that it doesn't
fucking matter?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
That's what I'm
trying to figure out.
I talked to him every day aboutit.
I talked to him every day aboutit and I talked to him about.
Like you know, the reason whythey're doing this is either
because they're jealous of you,Just trying to make him feel
better about himself.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
But in the end, how's
his game with the hottest chick
in class?
The what like, does he got somegame?
Can he like become boyfriend ofthe hottest?
Speaker 2 (32:50):
I mean that would
that would help, but I don't
think.
I think nowadays okay.
So girls nowadays are fuckinggiants so he's too short for
that girl dude, they're fuckingtall as me like I don't think a
girl would date a kid half theirsize and he's too young for
(33:10):
that.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Anyways, it's a bad
idea well, yeah, I mean, he's
only 12 you got anything I mean,I mean there's do you want to
do like black eye makeup on himand make him look like he just?
Yeah, you should see the otherguy and just give him that line.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
He gets worried when
I cut his hair because he thinks
that everyone's going to judgehim about something different in
his life.
That's changed Basically.
His haircut Fair enough, likewhen I cut his hair I was in a
weekend and Monday after Mondayhe came home and he's like
everyone made fun of me becausemy hair looks stupid.
(33:47):
I, I'm not a bad hairstylist,I'm actually pretty well well
known around the new berlin areaas one of the cheapest
apartments, specifically one ofthe and more exclusively around
your specific apartment numberone of the most amazing younger
gentlemen that can cut hair forfree.
(34:08):
Doesn't do it for everyone.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
I'm telling you, when
Jay sets up his booth in the
parking garage, I don't evenhave to work there.
There's a line around therecycle bins.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
I don't even have to
wipe the hair.
I take a Milwaukee blower andblow that shit around in the
garage and just let it just free.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Makes sense, let the
hair free.
No, I agree, getting caught insome guy's hair.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Well, I mean, he has
a few options he really does.
So the options is is he funny?
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah, he's quiet well
, that's not gonna work.
Yeah, no, that won't work.
He's quiet, he's he's, he'semotional, he's quiet and he's
very, very, very, very nice,like you, go.
You know.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
You know he's super
nice.
I'm an adult and kids act alittle different around adults.
Because you know he's onlineright now telling, telling his
fucking friends on fortnight tosuck his dick no, let me add
this in uh, in football we hadflag football for for a couple
seasons.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Anytime any kid got
hurt on the opposing team even
if it wasn't his team okay,opposing team he'd be standing
over him, don't die on me.
We need a medic he would helpthat kid up or ask him are you
okay, like he's a, he's very,very he's a good kid, a very
good kid yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
So really, if he's
not hilarious, no where he's
gonna embarrass the kid, he'sfunny but he won't do that in
front of anybody else eitherbecome his bully's friend or
beat the shit out of his bully.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
That's what I told
him You're going to have to
fight him.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
No, I think kill him
with kindness is probably the
play, not really, or that yes,chris, I think that's right.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
That makes you look
weak.
It does, it does.
Who cares?
Speaker 3 (36:01):
And we're talking
about 12-year-old children.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
That like it's true,
like you can't get over a
fucking, but if he's really kindas it is, maybe he can pick up
on what this kid likes and bringhim something he fucking likes
and that's that simple oh that's, that's too much, oh fuck dudes
.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
All right, come to
school of flowers for the kid
here.
Man, you made me really realizethat's all right.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I heard you like
chocolates.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
All right, maybe I
got picked on because I was too
nice.
I don't know what to say.
Wait, did you get picked on?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
I don't know what do
you mean you don't?
Know, you know if you gotpicked on or not.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
I didn't have a ton
of friends.
I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Well, that's not.
I don't believe that.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
I still don't they're
all, actually all in this room.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Chris has the most
friends I've ever known of any
person in my entire life, so youcan talk to.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Tony.
Tony could talk to Dan.
Dan will tell the story abouthow I was sitting alone at lunch
and he invited me over to meethis friends because he felt bad
for me.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Dude, you are not
that type of person.
That's when he got into thepunk scene for a while.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
That's when I started
smoking the reefer.
That's when my goddamn knucklesare tattooed.
But I also had a friend or aperson come up because you were
so nice.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
You got hug life
tattooed across your knuckles.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
So I because I was
probably a nerd or something.
But had, uh, a person come overwho I wasn't friends with high
school in high school, but I hadrun into since high school and
she was like you were an assholein high school, you know what,
(37:44):
chris?
So she thought I was an asshole.
You know, chris, I thought Iwas an old friender, so I don't
know my cousin tyler always usedto like.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
He always used to
tell me that you and him were
best friends.
The fucking chick like youcould get any girl you wanted.
I did get lucky, you had tonsof friends.
He always like amp you up aslike the fucking like this
because he wanted you to hangout with me.
He should have told you I was ajehovah no he used to say you
(38:15):
should see this guy's witnessgame he used to say so much
stuff about you, like he'll rideup to any house on a bicycle.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Well, because I've
never had any fear of going to
talk to people and the best shit.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Like you were, like
the, the man, like he looked up
to you I looked up to him stilldo.
He's a good dude but butseriously, though, like he used
to say so much shit about likechris man, he had the like this
fucking girl.
I just saw him with his fuckingoh my god.
She's like a model.
She was like oh my God.
And like he's got like 20people following him around the
(38:53):
streets.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
I don't know about
all this.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
No, I'm exaggerating
now, but you know what I'm
talking about.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Like he just amped
you up about being the best
person but I really didn't have.
I don't know if I was bullied,but I didn't have a ton of
friends in high school.
That I don't know if I wasbullied, but I didn't have a ton
of friends in high school.
That's weird, that I recall.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Now I feel like I
always felt quite awkward.
Now I'm looking down on you,chris.
Now I'm like hey, you reallyweren't that guy.
Maybe not that my cousin.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
So I don't think
there's like a secret formula.
You just got.
You got to get the kid to notgive a flying fuck.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Yeah, which is hard
because he's fucking 12.
And I'm not there.
I don't experience it.
I really wanted to just go inthere and just be like, pretend
like I'm a teacher, walk around,just follow him and just beat
the shit out of someone thatjust looks at him wrong.
That would be amazing if youcould just do stuff like that,
if that was legal, which maybethey should make kind of legal,
yeah, but then you would have todeal all.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
I'll fight them all.
I'll fight them too.
You'd also have a rugby biggerthan you.
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
You know how many
times I've fought.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I've never fought
anyone smaller than me.
I've never fought somebody mysize.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
But the funny thing
is, I haven't.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I've never even
fought somebody so yeah, tony's
never been in a fight, no.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Oh yeah, tony's
broken guy's ribs and broken
necks.
I've never been in a fight, butI broke some ribs.
My high school experience wasobviously way different from
your guys' and really middleschool is probably pretty
similar, but high school I wentto a school in arguably a
terrible neighborhood, um, and Iwas one of very, very few white
(40:39):
people at my school and it'sfunny that everybody always
blames whites for being theracist.
Yeah, try being one of likeseven white kids at a whole high
school and see how much fuckingfun you have.
So you had to have been pickedon there.
I wasn't really picked onspecifically, but very few
(41:00):
people talked to me at all, wereyou?
Speaker 2 (41:02):
bigger than everyone
there.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Mainly like the three
white kids.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Let me ask you this
Everyone size differential.
How did you compare to them?
Speaker 3 (41:12):
I, I don't remember
and I'm, I'm like I'm not being
funny or anything about this,but I, I, honestly I I do not
look at people and see a heightdifference between me and other
people.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
I don't know if I was
huge or tiny, but listen, I'm
also telling you this that thekids really do look at size and
they do value that.
Out of like almost the mostthing you could think of a kid
is smaller.
They're gonna feel like theycan kick your ass because you're
smaller, but they don't knowwho can or cannot fight yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
No clue.
So, like I know there was a kidand I was probably about the
same, I was probably like 210,220 pounds in high school Age.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
High school age, I
mean like sophomore senior now.
From middle school until that'sa giant kid I can't trust.
I'm not even over 200 fuckingpounds.
I'm 40.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
This guy can't.
This guy can't tell if he'slooking at the top of someone's
head or someone's chin and we'resupposed to expect he knew what
weight he was, but so suspect.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
So I went to high
school with a kid who went on to
the nfl and uh, he wasdefinitely much larger than he
was.
What's his name?
Speaker 2 (42:37):
michael bennett who'd
you play for the?
Speaker 1 (42:41):
rams I.
I think he won a super bowlwith the rams I think he very
well might have been.
Seriously, they were in StLouis.
I know St Louis Rams, wisconsinguy.
So the last thing.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I remember about him.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
He was like a tackle
or something right.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
He went to the NFL
right from high school he played
on the line or somethingOffensive tackle, offensive line
?
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I couldn't tell you.
So was he on offense or defense?
I don't know.
Why would I know?
Speaker 1 (43:05):
that I'll look it up.
You're behind glass.
You should be able to type itup.
Speaker 3 (43:09):
I've never been into
sports, but I know he was on
Minnesota.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
That sounds right.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
He was on Minnesota,
you know when they all got
busted on that yacht with allthe hookers, yeah, you remember
that, like fucking 20 years agoago?
Speaker 2 (43:28):
yeah, it was a long
time he was one of them.
Oh my, really yeah let's seemichael bennett.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
He was.
He was a running back, he was abadger.
That makes sense, okay sobadger.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
So he was offense he
was.
Was he?
Was he full?
Was he a fullback or was he?
He was selected by the Vikings?
Speaker 1 (43:47):
in 2001 that sounds
about right.
Played for the Saints Chiefs,Buccaneers, Chargers and.
Raiders Holy shit Raiders, sohe wasn't on.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
So he wasn't good, so
he threw Everyone threw him
around.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
He was, he was the
best athlete.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
He's 5'10", 211 Went
to Milwaukee Tech.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
He was the best
athlete that you knew.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
First round pick Dude
in the NFL.
Wow, really Pick 27.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Holy fuck.
Well, think about it, he gotdrafted For 10 years man in the
NFL.
Holy shit, he got drafted in2001.
We graduated in 99.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
He was a pro bowler
in 2002.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
I graduated in 2000.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
All Big Ten, 2000.
So he was a year older than us.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
Wow so 13 touchdowns
in the nfl six receiving 13
running.
He actually had.
Uh, there were two displaycases in tech's entryway that
were all only the trophies ofstate records that he's broke.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
He was, as a senior,
the top-ranked football player
in the state All-state selectingand track and field.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
He broke every state
record in all the different
versions of track and field,holy shit.
And he was probably 160 poundsin high school, like in his
track and field days and shitlike that, and so I was
substantially fatter than him,but anytime I was near him I
(45:21):
thought he was fucking waybigger than me.
I'm four inches taller than him.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
What does that even
mean how?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
Because he was bigger
than you.
He was 5'10", 207.
Pre-draft.
At the draft 5'10", that's me207.
Nfl player caliber.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
That's not that heavy
though.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
If it's an NFL player
.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
It's all muscle, bro.
I thought he was double thesize of me.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
That's true, that's
true.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Well, yeah, when you
got those giant ass fucking
muscles popping out of your body, it looked like I remember he
laid across the teacher's deskand told her to suck his dick,
get the fuck out of here.
They were not allowed to failhim, did he?
Speaker 2 (46:06):
really do that.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Yeah, I seen it
happen with my own eyes.
I loved it.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
So we're not going to
solve this before the end.
Jay, no man, You've got tofigure out a way to teach him
how to beat somebody's ass.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
No, I mean yeah, he
has to be ready for it, because
if the kids fuck with him enoughand jail, Listen, man, school
is like jail.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
They're gonna fight
the biggest guy.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
everyone respects you
if there's 10 assholes and
one's fucking with them and allthe other assholes start seeing
that it's okay to fuck with himbecause he ain't gonna do shit.
They're gonna keep fucking withhim and that's gonna you are
right All he has to do is hurtone of them, that's it.
I'm going to tell you that newstravels a lot faster than he's
(46:56):
an easy person to make fun of.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
I agree.
What if he tries fightinganother kid?
Speaker 3 (47:01):
kid knocks him down,
destroys him, then that makes it
way, way worse, then he's goingto have to wait until a weaker,
smaller bully starts fuckingwith him and then fuck him up.
You got to teach him some moves, man.
This isn't riding a bicycle.
You can't put this off fortheir whole fucking life.
You have to teach him how tofuck somebody up, listen
(47:23):
fighting isn't about moves.
Speaker 2 (47:24):
It's about
understanding what to do when
the shit happens.
It's just like you're born withit.
You can't train that.
Okay, you can train that to alevel where you're on the UFC
and you're winning millions ofdollars, but when it comes to a
street fight, you can't trainthat.
You just know it or you don't.
(47:44):
So I don't know.
Maybe he can fight.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
Well, when you get
home tonight, wake him up and
really start making fun out ofhim and tell him come at me,
pussy, you little fucking midgetsmurf ass bitch.
You look blue, now Fight me,motherfucker, dad, you been
drinking again.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
No, mind your own
goddamn, that would be what his
answer, or his response wouldexactly be that top shelf
stories every tuesday.
Speaker 3 (48:17):
Thanks for listening
and remember tony says beat the
shit out of your bully, fuck,yeah, like us on the interwebs
or whatever too, that'd be cool.