April 22, 2025 • 38 mins
Building memories through shared experiences leads to powerful connections between fathers and their children. We discuss fishing trips filled with lessons on persistence and accomplishment, coaching soccer, and the fulfilling moments that come from being involved in their endeavors.
• The joys of fishing: milestones and achievements
• Setting personal goals in fishing
• Celebrating independence: teaching kids to bait and catch
• Importance of conversations during outdoor activities
• Lessons learned through coaching soccer
• Reflections on meaningful summer activities
• Creating lasting memories as fathers
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Today we're going to talk about proud dad moments.
So summer's coming to an end,there has to be something that
you shared with your kid forthis summer, like there's got to
be something that you're intowith your children.
For us, this actually lastsummer and this summer it's been
(00:48):
fishing.
So I rent a little boat dock, Ihave my boat parked on the
water ready to go with no noticeand, uh, at least three days a
week this whole summer I took mykids fishing.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yeah, I heard that, you saw it Just me and the two
kids.
I heard you took your eldestkid out too.
His name's Dan.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Dan, my new son, which is my brother, and he
stole my brother.
Dude, I'll take anybody whowants to go out fishing fishing
with me.
Tony steals all of my shit.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Stole Chris, yeah, stole my brother.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, starting to steal my brother.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm more likable he didn't really steal me.
All I was was a substitute.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Fill in in the midfield on your d league beer
league soccer team on thursdaynights it was funny too, that
when chris first came to the, hewas so like if I started
talking he'd be quiet, or ifTony started talking he'd be.
Okay, He'd let you talk, butnow he will not let you fucking
talk.
That's not true at all, I'm theone who doesn't let anybody
(01:56):
talk.
If he's saying something, hehas to get it done and he'll
punch you.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I've always been like that, even in the three dime
stays At.
I've always been like that, Iknow, even in the three dime
stays At the end of it.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
yeah, so, anyway, go ahead.
My 11-year-old son, it wasn'tlike last year with him this
year, last year it was justlet's go fishing, we'll catch
whatever, we'll fish whereveryou want.
This year he set goals forhimself.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Particular fish, particular Yep.
You want we'll do this year.
He set goals for himselfparticular fish, particular yep.
Well, you're in a fucking lake,you have three fish.
So this year, fuck, I caught aturtle I mean, is there that one
of the comp?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
sorry, I'm I caught a huge turtle this year I'm being
rude now two times caught thesame turtle twice like a 20
pound snapping turtle it wascrazy.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I got it on video it was the same one.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I caught it 15 minutes apart on the same bait
in the same area and got themboth on shore.
Tony tags snapping turtles he'slike where are you tagged?
I had to punch it to get my myuh hook out of its mouth, so it
had a black eye.
(03:10):
So when I brought it back in,or no you know, I had to give it
another black that's how toritori disables him or knocks him
out, he punches him in thefucking.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Okay, but so my son's first goal this spring was he
was going to catch a fish usinga lure instead of live bait.
Stop touching the cord.
It's not in the right place.
Stop touching the cord and it'smaking me crazy.
(03:44):
Grab it by the thicker part it'sprobably so fucking fake laugh
he decided he was catching afish on a lure this year.
And the thing is is he he'snever fished with lures, so he
doesn't understand that some ofthem you gotta you gotta reel in
very fast, some gotta go realslow, some gotta go with a
(04:06):
certain motion, you gotta playthe action right yeah, so it's a
whole ordeal.
Like you gotta live is harderlive is super hard.
Live is as easy as it gets, notif you're trying to catch lures
lures are very, very difficult.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
You gotta pull that live bait away from the smaller
ones, so the bigger ones, comein and grab it that's the only
way you can do it and that's howI know because, because you got
your gopro tied to the bottomof your bobber.
Looking at the bait yes, it's asmall gopro, super small like
one of those.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I made it into a submarine.
You got one of those tvs with atent around it that goes over
your head.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, you're fucking working the jig, but under,
under the water, instead of afucking aerial one.
You're talking about that.
I can look at where yeah, it'sa submarine gopro.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So we fished for quite a few weeks.
Me and the five-year-old arestill using bobbers and whatnot,
because I I have to, you know Igot a five-year-old I like I
can't just not pay him attentionon the boat because he needs
the most attention.
(05:16):
But this year he made somegoals of his own.
That his goal was he was goingto be able to bait his own hooks
and take his own fish off theline good, good which which he
does both of those now, werethese his goals or the ones that
you know they were his goals to?
have not at all.
(05:36):
I have no problem.
So this is a pastime that allthree of us thoroughly enjoy, so
I don't mind helping them withwhatever they need.
Anything that keeps them off atablet is fucking fine by me oh,
you just stole.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
What I was gonna say I shared with my daughter was
tablet time you ever see thatfucking fishy game?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
you're not kidding though.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
That shit is fucking invasive as hell.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
The sidebar but yeah, yeah.
So after about three weeks ofgoing out three times a week, he
catches his first lure fish.
Nice, and by the back nope,nope, he caught.
He caught a nice little bassbrought it in.
(06:25):
He's screaming get the net, getthe net.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
The thing's like 13 inches.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I'm like you got 20-pound test, bro, Just fucking
lift it up.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
But I didn't want to take away from his experience of
it.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
So I net this thing in with my big musky net, get it
on the boat.
He's holding it up, he's makingme we're on the boat and he's
making me send pictures of it toeverybody he knows.
Sure it's a really big deal hashe caught a bass before?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
on on worms, yeah, this big yeah okay, he's.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
He's caught much bigger bass on worms than with
this lure.
But this was a special fish.
Wait a second, wait a second.
Say it again he's caught muchbigger bass than the one he
caught on the lure with worms.
Live bait Right, live bait,live bait.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah that particular bass was not an impressive bass,
compared to what he caught onover the accumulation.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
The last five years.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
No, no, no, just answer the question live bait
right?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
no, I get it.
I get it.
You don't know how to use lureseither, so your goal this year
was to catch your first lurefish.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Your brothers told me all about this trust me,
whatever my brother says, he'sfucking wrong.
No, it's so wrong I believe.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I'm not sure I believe him let's give him a
call when he starts with mybrother's an embarrassment to my
family.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
I know he's gonna spit truth wait, wait dan says
that yeah, okay and then he saysoh hey, what's up, tony?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
so uh.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
After he caught this fish, he decided on the boat.
At that particular moment hewas leveling up I'm leveling up
he said.
He said I'm not going afterbass anymore.
I have now mastered the art oflure fishing for bass.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Interesting One catch after probably 10,000 casts.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Not even a legal keeping.
He's like.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I'm in.
He wanted musky.
I am a pro.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
He said I am catching a northern this year oh, I like
musky okay so northerns can betricky, right, because they're
they're aggressive, predatorfish that will eat anything that
they think is alive.
But my son has not mastered hehas not mastered the art of
(09:07):
making a lure look alive yet.
So it was rough.
It was weeks and weeks andweeks of him doing nothing but
throwing northern specific lures.
And I'm fishing alongside himFucking fish, hand over fist.
I'm fishing next to him.
(09:27):
I'm pulling in on average fournorthern a night and he's
catching zero and he's on theboat.
He's crying.
He almost lost the pole.
Every day we go back and hetells me how he's not a good
fisherman and all this stuff andhe's really down on himself.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
I kind of blame the teacher.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And we go out and I'm like don't worry, chase, it's
going to happen.
You have to listen to me abouthow these things need to be
reeled in.
You can't jerk them over yourshoulder.
You can't do this shit thatyou're doing because you don't
know how to do this yet.
I'm like let's really take sometime and figure out how to do
(10:14):
this.
So the next day we go back outand he catches I don't want to
say huge, huge is not the wordbut he catches a great northern
and it's the biggest northernthat's been on the boat this
year, nice.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
It was fucking phenomenal With the worm, though
, because he gave up on thatbullshit.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Nope, still on the lure.
I was trying Jay, I was tryingJay, I was trying for Jay, and
it was probably dude.
When it was on, he startedscreaming I'm on, I'm on, fish
on, fish on.
Get the net, get ready, getready.
Get your line in Logan, getyour line in.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
He wants you to bring your lines in dude.
Come on, you don't want to get.
This was a really big deal.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This was a really big deal.
People were sitting at, youknow, out on their decks at
their houses and everybody'swatching them fight this thing
in and he gets it to the boat.
I get it netted in.
It's a boot.
He fucking hold, he's, he'sholding it.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
You know, northern got some pretty aggressive teeth
how is he holding it with agrasp, like one of those grasp
things he's grabbing it behindthe gills, putting a hand under
its belly, holding it up in theair.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
He is excited.
He's jumping up and down on aboat, high five, and runs and
hugs his little brother.
He's like fucking screaming.
He's like take pictures, takepictures.
I, I take pictures.
He's like send him to mom, sendhim to nana, send him to uncle
joey, send him to uncle ricky,put him on facebook.
(12:01):
He's screaming for for all thisstuff.
Never been more excited aboutanything.
He's bleeding everywhere in hislife.
Nope, and and it was probablymy proudest dad moment of my
life, it was a really big deal.
(12:21):
Like, yeah, I taught the kidhow to ride a bike.
That shit was easy, that wasfive minutes hard.
That's really hard no it's theeasiest thing you can do as a
father to your child is teachthem how to ride.
Years of training and years ofdedication you know, basically I
didn't even have to do anything, I just told him there were
(12:41):
training wheels on it.
He fucking took off and I'mlike by the way, there's no
training wheels.
You're good, super easy.
It's fucking deadbeat.
Dads on one weekend a monthschedules could teach their kids
how to ride a bike, just saying.
but teaching a kid how tofucking land a big fat Northern,
(13:04):
that's fucking priceless dude.
It's going to stay with meforever.
That's good storytelling.
It's good it is.
Now I'm going to show it to youguys.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Why don't you?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It's now the screensaver on my phone, because
it was his first, Northern.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Why didn't you fucking everything else you do?
Why don't you?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
You let your kid have that kind of hair going though,
bro.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I don't make my kids hair decisions Because if it
were up to me, my two kids andmy wife would all be high and
tight.
High and tight.
And my wife would all be highand tight.
She's like me, high and tight,but so what'd?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
you guys do with your kids this summer?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, that's a great one man, what was the proud dad
moment you had this year?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
For me.
I don't think it's one specificthing like that.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
So I know you were telling me earlier.
So did your kid achieve hisgoal of becoming towel boy on
the soccer team?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
it's a water boy.
Come on, you've seen the moviethere's no towel and soccer
juice bags basically this wholefucking summer.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I just imagine a towel boy washing all the other
players shoes, this.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
This whole summer I've become a coach for fucking
soccer and football Flagfootball primarily because I won
the championship On your flagfootball team.
Well, I mean, what do you callmine?
You're the coach.
It's not really mine, I am thecoach's.
The kids are the ones that havethe talent.
(14:45):
Basically, all I have to do isto tell them you know, here's
the routes, run the routes andif you do it right we'll win.
You do it wrong, we'll lose.
And defense you don't really doanything on defense.
You're like, hey, play yourzone, play your spot, get an
interception, pull the flag.
Whatever you do, I mean there'snot much to coaching at this
age.
Really there's not.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Well, that's actually really good, because you're
probably the worst person I evermet at explaining stuff.
280 episodes, oh yeah, prettymuch.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
No, yeah, I thought after the 200th episode I might
get a little better, but I feellike I'm going downward and
getting worse.
It might be the drugs or thedrinking, but one of the two,
yes.
They combine together and justmake me barely legible.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
It's like all right, jay, I want you to tell this
story, this episode.
All right, you got to make itlast about five minutes.
Okay, hey, jay, what about thatthing you did the end?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
those are my favorite stories.
Right when you start it, youjust fucking end it.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I want to know the beginning and doing a thing, and
then that happened, and thenthat was it okay, so I coach
both football, flag football andsoccer.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
And the soccer thing is what age range?
For the soccer it's, uh, it'seight to ten year olds, and for
football it's third, 12 to 14year olds.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
So you're coaching a team for two of your three kids.
Yeah solid.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
The.
The eldest kid is almost 18 and, yeah, fucking kid can't even
get out of his room.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, there's probably no masturbation league,
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I mean that's all done in the shower.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Let me show you about twist turn method.
Run this route, you'll neverTwist turn.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Explain twist.
Okay, now that's anotherseparate episode, so I'm coached
for both of them.
The coaching is going great.
I have two practices for soccera week playing twitter.
Okay, now that's anotherseparate episode, so I'm coached
for both of them.
Um, the coaching is going great.
I have two practices for soccera week.
Do you wear all your puma gear?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
or do you wear?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
you gotta come you gotta come in prepared, you
gotta go in there like you are acoach.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
So you better be able to run the route if you're
gonna tell them to run the route.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Are your team colors red on both of them, because
almost almost all your clothesare red.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I have the soccer team is yellow and black and the
football team now this yearwell, actually, okay, the one
before was black.
Yeah, it's weird, it's allblack.
And then now the new flagfootball team is purple and
yellow.
So it's not very much and, yeah, I am disappointed that
nothing's red.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Nothing is red Shit.
I got to wait for Puma to comeout with their fall colors now.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I got to stay with this throughout the wintertime
to get to my red color bearings,where I can actually approve
fucking love and stuff.
No, so the coaching is great.
I mean there's a hugedifference between coaching kids
that are 8 to coaching kidsthat are 12 to 13.
Like eight-year-olds, they runaround, don't listen.
(17:49):
You're trying to get all ofthem together, talk to them to
get a game plan going andthey're all talking to each
other, looking at butterflies,playing with shit on the ground,
squirting water in each other'sfaces.
And then you get to the 12,13-year year olds and they're
like we don't want to get ourasses whooped, please tell me
something.
Their attention is right withyou and it's like I'm not used
(18:13):
to it, because I'm used toyelling at the kids to shut up
to listen like, shut up, listeneverybody in your house ignoring
you or on the podcast where Ican't even fucking talk before
getting yelled at by tony.
Mostly, no, but I'm used to thekids the younger kids not
listening and then when I get tothe lower kids listening, then
(18:35):
I start sounding stupid becauseI'm like shit.
I really have to start tellingthem what to do.
Or sounding somewhat I somewhatI can't fake this anymore.
Yeah, I can't sound dumb anymore.
I have to have structure in mysentences for them to understand
what I'm saying about routesand routes and whatever the fuck
I'm talking about.
But the younger kids it's justlike you know.
(18:57):
When I finally get them to shutup, all I got to say is get out
there and fucking play.
That's it.
You know, it's done.
Basically, the whole trainingis just getting shut up and
listen for for two seconds.
Um, but no, we, uh for thesoccer team.
We, we, we, we.
We got second place in the uh,the fucking championship thingy.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And then football.
We got that, we won everything.
And then we got the big,fucking stupid trophy thing,
which is probably like I mean,he was fucking as tall as my kid
, so what?
So would you say confidentlythat these kids couldn't have
got this trophy?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
without you?
No, I think they could have gotwithout me.
Yeah, definitely I have.
No, I trust me, I'm not, uh,I'm not a coach, were you like?
This trophy is basically minebecause you guys suck and it
wasn't for me, I conjugate thekids together, I get them
together to play the sport andtalk to the parents and get
scheduling down.
Basically, after that, I'm justthere to you know, root the
(19:57):
kids on like I'm a fuckingcheerleader.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I'm not, I'm not parents have a problem with you
yelling at their children mother, fuck I.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Do you think I yell at the kids?
I would you think I step overboundaries?
You think I try no, there'snothing I do so not to get
yelled at by their parents.
I, I'm nice as shit to the kids.
They do something, somethingwrong, I high five them.
You're going to get better nexttime, kid.
Great, there's no way I wouldyell at a kid.
(20:29):
If anything, it wouldn't beyelling, it'd just be like hey,
you know what.
You should probably do a littlebetter next time.
You should try catching theball with two hands Soft
coaching.
Yeah, I'm a soft, I'm a softie.
I'm not going to yell at thekids, just screaming Are you
fucking high.
The fuck is wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Can't you catch.
So the flag football league islike city by city or all new
Berlin kids City, it's all.
No, it it's Nine versus nine orwhat.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I mean, if they got second, they obviously didn't
have to go into the inner cityand play.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
No we got first in the flag, second in the soccer.
Yeah, no, it's all aroundcities, all around Wisconsin,
mostly our area.
Wisconsin Like nothing northern.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It's all men or all boys I mean.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
No, there's girls.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Mostly boys, though.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Mostly boys, but there are girls and I mean proud
dad moment with that would bejust winning that with the kid.
That's fun to be a part of itinstead of being in the crowd
watching them win.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Did your kid get any field goals?
Or whatever they do in soccer?
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Yeah, my kid.
He's one of the smaller kidsbut he's fast as fuck.
So, yes, he gets a lot oftouchdowns because he runs
behind everyone and gets out inthe open.
The dude has to just chuck itup.
Our quarterback's a greatquarterback, by the way Chucks
it up and he's wide open in theend zone because no one even
sees him coming.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's like a little squirrel going for a nut.
He's.
They don't have peripheralvision yet.
Yeah, and your kid's justliterally under the radar he's
so fast, dude so fast um.
So did you pursue thesecoaching positions?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
no, I never wanted to do the football thing.
I just wanted to stick to thesoccer thing because that's what
I did with the older kid too,and I was doing it for like
eight years.
But I did it because I didn'twant to not be a part of my
middle kids doing something withhim, because I did all the kids
coaching except for him.
So I did the flag for him andthen we won, and then I did it
(22:43):
one more time.
I said one more time, that's it, I'm done.
But he, he likes to tacklefootball in school.
So you can't, you know, youcan't coach that plus dude.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Literally they do it every day so do you get to bet
on the games?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
with the other parents.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Is this frowned upon?
Speaker 3 (23:01):
that would be great to do with some betting,
especially last year when ourteam, literally we had three
Okay, this is not a joke.
There's a point differential ingames, any type of sport you're
playing.
We had a 300 in.
I don't know what it was.
It was over 300 pointdifferential between every team,
so meaning we scored more than300 points than any other team.
(23:24):
Yeah, so when we went to this,the playoff, the last game, we
knew like our team was just sogood, I don't know, the kids
were bigger, we had the fastestkids, we had the most talented
kids.
We knew we were going to winanyway and it was literally like
every game was.
It was, I wouldn't say, boring.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
New Berlin has the money to draft the good kids.
I'm going to say it was thecoaching.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I've heard enough to say it was the coaching.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
I did make all my plays.
Now I don't want to brag, but Idid make all my plays.
But it doesn't matter, the kidswere the ones that did it.
The coaching was just like.
I think any coach could havecame into my team that team that
I had and won it all EasilyProbably not me, no, you
(24:11):
definitely could have.
You're a good leader,especially with things, and you
strive for betterness.
If you do something wrong, Ifeel like you would do twice as
much as you could the next.
If you do something wrong, Ifeel like you would do twice as
much as you could the next timeto do something better, I would
make myself run laps.
Don't even be like alright, guys, you dropped the ball, I'm
running.
No, but I think that was theonly thing I could say.
(24:37):
This summer was kind ofentertaining with the kids and
accomplishment it wasn't great.
I have to defer to the iPadagain.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
This summer was kind of entertaining with the kids
and accomplishment.
Yeah, it wasn't great.
I have to defer to the iPadagain.
I do shit with my kid.
I mean we had a great summer.
We did a whole bunch of shit.
Uh, she's really intogymnastics.
We've got our mat and a bar inour basement and like uh, uh,
(25:03):
balance beam thing and one ofthe things that she's.
She made the volleyball or thegymnastics team this year, so
she's been doing two hours twicea week.
How old is she?
Again?
She'll be nine soon, so team soI mean for like accomplishment.
It's a private.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Like how many backflips can she do in a row?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah, that's one of the things she did was like a
back.
I don't even know what the nameof it.
My wife was in gymnastics andshe's like I can't believe this
kid's doing this shit.
And then same thing developmenton the bar as far as
accomplishments.
But yeah, I mean, it's hard topass your story, tony, that was
(25:47):
good that was it.
I want everyone just to rewindand listen to the first 15
minutes of where this kid'sdetermination resulted in
ultimate joy.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
You know what it's about.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Tony, joy and pride.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
It's about Tony's explanation.
Tony's a great storyteller.
Everyone knows Tony's a greatstoryteller and he's the heart
and soul of stories for this,you know top shelf stories.
Not only did he come up withthe name, he's story driven.
We are the.
Well, I mean, chris is probablya little better than me, I'm
just here so I don't get fined.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
That's my line for most.
I'm here just to you know,reminisce, no I mean listen to
stories but yeah, being a dadhas been the top drive.
I mean that it's the mostultimate thing and, uh, watching
your kid grow up.
I mean yesterday.
One of the things we did is Inearly killed my kid yesterday
(26:50):
On purpose.
Almost no, it was a completeaccident.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Well, we got to hear that story.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
She does this thing because she's so gymnastical and
whatever flexible, high energy,all this other stuff and she'll
do this thing where she holdsmy hand and she jumps up and
grabs her legs around my waistand then puts her arms around my
neck and then she's hanging onme right and all the time she
does it I'm like we shouldn't bedoing this, because one of
(27:18):
these fucking times you're gonnafall, and that was the time was
yesterday basically you falldown at her neck or something
well, basically so she, shejumped up and I hold her hands
and she jumps and then she putsher legs around my waist kind of
like a monkey you would imaginegrabbing onto a tree or
whatever, or their mom or dad,and then she puts her arms
(27:38):
around my neck and then she'shanging on me, but this time,
instead of grabbing my neck, shedidn't quite grab, or I let go
too early, or whatever, and ittook nanoseconds but it felt
like hours, as my kid wasfalling and I just couldn't grab
her enough to stop her, to slowher down enough.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That's when you shove your foot out in front of you.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Well, it was right in the kitchen what it was right
in the kitchen.
Well, her legs are still kindof strapped around my legs and
she's falling downwards and Ikind of had her, but yeah, she
smacks the ground and I was like, oh my God, I just cracked the
back of my head.
I thought it was only her head,of course.
I was like oh directly onto herhead, directly onto a rock,
(28:20):
directly onto like.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
I imagined the worst Was she screaming crying.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
But no, she, it was actually kind of okay, but she
was in shell shock.
But no she, it was actuallykind of okay, but she was in
shell shock.
It was like pretty ridiculous,she fell.
I'm nearly six or five, 10, 11feet tall.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
You love six four on.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Tinder and she she's out of my grasp at what I felt
like was an accelerating pacehere, you know.
But yeah, she landed mostly onher back actually, thank God
Cause it wasn't her fuckingnoggin, but I sat her down and
we're doing like.
We took her into the booth,like at the football games, to
make sure she didn't have aconcussion.
(28:55):
Yeah, yeah, checked her eyesand all this other shit.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
She didn't.
She didn't cry or nothing notreally.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Uh and yeah a little, but more than like just scared,
like she was fucking scary dude, like she was, she smacked her
noggin.
She would have smacked herfucking noggin, bad right yeah
and uh, yeah, I felt like afucking piece of dirt for like
almost you know hours because Ifelt like I failed.
(29:23):
Right, because you're supposedto protect your child and all
this shit.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
No, you know you definitely did.
But yeah, I totally did, I did.
I'm never gonna let it down.
No, we'll just be real about it.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
It should have been fine she pulled through, but I
bet you don't make that mistake,you know.
Let those arms go out first now.
Yeah, you know shit right.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Some people just learn from mistakes, and tony
always says what tony said justput your foot out there, cause
it did fall yesterday when itall happened.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
It was just such a nonchalant moment and it did
kind of open your eyes, my eyesand I should say to like how
quickly one left turn didn'tstop at the yellow, all that
kind of shit.
You're like Whoa, whoa, fragile, life is flat fragile.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
My, uh, my five-year-old really fucked
himself up last weekend.
Oh boy Hanging from thechandelier?
No, so he runs.
He runs from the kitchen tablearea and runs and jumps over the
(30:28):
arm of our couch and runsacross the couch and then jumps
onto the coffee table.
He does it all the fucking time.
I can't get him to stop doingit.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I try coffee table have sharp ends and shit yeah,
oh yeah, it's solid press woodI've tried everything.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I put a hung cookie sheets over the edge, hoping the
loud noise would scare him.
Nothing works with this kid andmy wife yells at him every time
he does it and I just tell herI'm like he's gonna learn
sometime.
I'm like yo just let himfucking do it.
He's gonna fuck himself up.
I'm like.
(31:08):
But he needs it.
He has to.
It's the only way I've saidthis, like you fucking yelling
does nothing, it doesn't changehis mind about it, it doesn't
talk him out of it.
That's fucking not true?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
no, it is like 91 there's a.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
There's a point.
Yeah, you can say no.
Or to the horse drink, drink,drink.
But they got to drink thefucking water, dude.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
No, that's not true.
My kid hurts himself, does thesame fucking thing two seconds
later.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Oh, that's a Darwinism type problem it's
genetic.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
This is why he's excelling in football.
A soccer player, he just infootball.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Soccer player.
He just keeps going, soccerplayer.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
But so we've been having a couple like adult
weekends as of recently, and Itook my wife out of town for
dinner on Friday and when we gothome, on Saturday Well, you
don't leave them home alone well, that's their fucking fault.
(32:11):
They should be older now.
Who watches them really?
uh, my wife's dad don't leavethem alone with your wife's dad
we get home and he's like hefinally ate it and I'm like, oh,
what happened?
He's like, well, he went to it.
And I'm like, oh, what happened?
And he's like, well, he went tojump from the couch to the
coffee table and he slippedwhile he was jumping and he
(32:37):
caught the coffee table to theribs Oof Cracked rib.
And she's like he said he wascoming at it quick and I'm like,
oh, how bad's the bruising.
Like, how fucked up is he?
He goes.
I don't know, I didn't seeanything.
He's like, you know, these kidsare so rubbery, they're just
fucking fine.
(32:57):
He's like, but he cried forlike two hours and that kid
doesn't cry.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
He's got a broken rib .
Well, he knows that mom and dadtold him that he's gonna get
hurt and now it happened whenthey weren't even there.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
So he can't even pretend like it didn't happen,
because someone else is gonnasay it happened so before I
dumped him off on the sitter onsunday or saturday night for
sunday I took him to a differentsitter because we had other
shit to do um, I'm fuckinggetting him changed and he's
(33:30):
standing there in his underwearand I look at his fucking leg.
His whole leg is fuckingbruised, from his knee to his
pelvis, just fucking.
That's what he caught.
And I'm like, oh, what happenedto your leg?
And he was like I hit the table.
And I'm like, oh, you don't say.
(33:51):
I'm like, how'd that happen?
I'm like doesn't your mom tellyou not to do it all the time?
And he goes.
He's like in five-year-oldterms.
He's like, yeah, now I see whyshe tells me not to do that like
guarantee.
He's like oh, mom was right whendid?
Speaker 3 (34:08):
that hurt real bad saturday.
Okay, so give it in a week.
You're gonna do, he's gonna doit again.
Yeah, probably not.
Oh, I guarantee.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Okay, no, mark that, mark it my kids learn from their
real mistakes marked it.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
So guess what?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
let me know in a week you know I learned this about
parenting from from my brother,who had kids long before I did
older brother or younger brother, the middle brother, rick,
didn't your younger brother havekids before you too?
No, okay, anyway.
Um, to go back from a storyfrom a previous podcast recorded
(34:47):
today, uh, I was telling you,the day we were we had our first
baby was one of the his worstdays of his life yeah yeah, uh,
his, his kid is exactly ninemonths younger than our kid, so
if you can, he figured out hiswife or girlfriend at the time
(35:08):
was pregnant
Speaker 3 (35:10):
okay, okay, yep, that was the day.
Fuck, I'm stupid because Icouldn't figure it out.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Thanks, but uh he had , uh, their house.
He lived in a old convertedduplex in, uh in the city and,
uh, it was an attic convertedinto a duplex in one of these
old milwaukee south sidebungalows and, uh, there were,
there was no venting to thisattic and they weren't going to
(35:39):
rip all the walls up to getvents up there.
So they put this, uh, thisreally kind of big box furnace
it's about the size of thisshelf right here turned on its
side and uh, uh, it just got hotand it had a vent out the top
(35:59):
and, uh, it just blew the airout of the vent and that thing,
that thing got glowing red.
I believe it I mean that thatthing got fucking hot like use.
You couldn't stand a foot awayfrom it and I'm always like damn
dude, you got these fuckingbabies in this house.
You don't put a gate around it.
He's like dude, he goes.
(36:20):
They only touch it once I mean,I guess, he goes if I put gates
around it, he's like it's notgonna do shit.
They're gonna get around thegates and it's gonna become a
thing.
If it's just there and it's hotand they touch it and they feel
how hot it is, he's like theyain't gonna fucking touch it
(36:43):
again.
He's like all the kids touchedit once in their life and that's
it.
And I'm like, yep, that's howthey learn that's how we learn
some shit, man it's.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
You know, failure is not the opposite of success,
it's part of success you have tofucking experience the bad in
order to know what the fuck toavoid yeah, it's like anything
you can't win until you lose.
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
I've been losing my whole life.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
In a certain way okay .
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Not just blatantly.
But yeah, all right, so thatwas our story this week.
Hope you liked it.
Jay's going to tell you to hitsubscribe or hit the like button
Top.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Shelf Stories.
Comment below Tell me in thecomment section below liked it.
Jay's gonna tell you to hitsubscriber.
Hit the like button or leave acomment.
Stories comment below.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Tell me in the comment section below what your
proud dad moment was I just lovethat you mock me at the end of
fucking every episode.
Dick, is that what ended?
Just laughing?
Sure We'll be right back.
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Today we're going to talk about proud dad moments.
So summer's coming to an end,there has to be something that
you shared with your kid forthis summer, like there's got to
be something that you're intowith your children.
For us, this actually lastsummer and this summer it's been
(00:48):
fishing.
So I rent a little boat dock, Ihave my boat parked on the
water ready to go with no noticeand, uh, at least three days a
week this whole summer I took mykids fishing.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Yeah, I heard that, you saw it Just me and the two
kids.
I heard you took your eldestkid out too.
His name's Dan.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Dan, my new son, which is my brother, and he
stole my brother.
Dude, I'll take anybody whowants to go out fishing fishing
with me.
Tony steals all of my shit.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Stole Chris, yeah, stole my brother.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, starting to steal my brother.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
I'm more likable he didn't really steal me.
All I was was a substitute.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Fill in in the midfield on your d league beer
league soccer team on thursdaynights it was funny too, that
when chris first came to the, hewas so like if I started
talking he'd be quiet, or ifTony started talking he'd be.
Okay, He'd let you talk, butnow he will not let you fucking
talk.
That's not true at all, I'm theone who doesn't let anybody
(01:56):
talk.
If he's saying something, hehas to get it done and he'll
punch you.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I've always been like that, even in the three dime
stays At.
I've always been like that, Iknow, even in the three dime
stays At the end of it.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
yeah, so, anyway, go ahead.
My 11-year-old son, it wasn'tlike last year with him this
year, last year it was justlet's go fishing, we'll catch
whatever, we'll fish whereveryou want.
This year he set goals forhimself.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Particular fish, particular Yep.
You want we'll do this year.
He set goals for himselfparticular fish, particular yep.
Well, you're in a fucking lake,you have three fish.
So this year, fuck, I caught aturtle I mean, is there that one
of the comp?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
sorry, I'm I caught a huge turtle this year I'm being
rude now two times caught thesame turtle twice like a 20
pound snapping turtle it wascrazy.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I got it on video it was the same one.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I caught it 15 minutes apart on the same bait
in the same area and got themboth on shore.
Tony tags snapping turtles he'slike where are you tagged?
I had to punch it to get my myuh hook out of its mouth, so it
had a black eye.
(03:10):
So when I brought it back in,or no you know, I had to give it
another black that's how toritori disables him or knocks him
out, he punches him in thefucking.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Okay, but so my son's first goal this spring was he
was going to catch a fish usinga lure instead of live bait.
Stop touching the cord.
It's not in the right place.
Stop touching the cord and it'smaking me crazy.
(03:44):
Grab it by the thicker part it'sprobably so fucking fake laugh
he decided he was catching afish on a lure this year.
And the thing is is he he'snever fished with lures, so he
doesn't understand that some ofthem you gotta you gotta reel in
very fast, some gotta go realslow, some gotta go with a
(04:06):
certain motion, you gotta playthe action right yeah, so it's a
whole ordeal.
Like you gotta live is harderlive is super hard.
Live is as easy as it gets, notif you're trying to catch lures
lures are very, very difficult.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
You gotta pull that live bait away from the smaller
ones, so the bigger ones, comein and grab it that's the only
way you can do it and that's howI know because, because you got
your gopro tied to the bottomof your bobber.
Looking at the bait yes, it's asmall gopro, super small like
one of those.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I made it into a submarine.
You got one of those tvs with atent around it that goes over
your head.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, you're fucking working the jig, but under,
under the water, instead of afucking aerial one.
You're talking about that.
I can look at where yeah, it'sa submarine gopro.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So we fished for quite a few weeks.
Me and the five-year-old arestill using bobbers and whatnot,
because I I have to, you know Igot a five-year-old I like I
can't just not pay him attentionon the boat because he needs
the most attention.
(05:16):
But this year he made somegoals of his own.
That his goal was he was goingto be able to bait his own hooks
and take his own fish off theline good, good which which he
does both of those now, werethese his goals or the ones that
you know they were his goals to?
have not at all.
(05:36):
I have no problem.
So this is a pastime that allthree of us thoroughly enjoy, so
I don't mind helping them withwhatever they need.
Anything that keeps them off atablet is fucking fine by me oh,
you just stole.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
What I was gonna say I shared with my daughter was
tablet time you ever see thatfucking fishy game?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
you're not kidding though.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
That shit is fucking invasive as hell.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
The sidebar but yeah, yeah.
So after about three weeks ofgoing out three times a week, he
catches his first lure fish.
Nice, and by the back nope,nope, he caught.
He caught a nice little bassbrought it in.
(06:25):
He's screaming get the net, getthe net.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
The thing's like 13 inches.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I'm like you got 20-pound test, bro, Just fucking
lift it up.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
But I didn't want to take away from his experience of
it.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
So I net this thing in with my big musky net, get it
on the boat.
He's holding it up, he's makingme we're on the boat and he's
making me send pictures of it toeverybody he knows.
Sure it's a really big deal hashe caught a bass before?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
on on worms, yeah, this big yeah okay, he's.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
He's caught much bigger bass on worms than with
this lure.
But this was a special fish.
Wait a second, wait a second.
Say it again he's caught muchbigger bass than the one he
caught on the lure with worms.
Live bait Right, live bait,live bait.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yeah that particular bass was not an impressive bass,
compared to what he caught onover the accumulation.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
The last five years.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
No, no, no, just answer the question live bait
right?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
no, I get it.
I get it.
You don't know how to use lureseither, so your goal this year
was to catch your first lurefish.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Your brothers told me all about this trust me,
whatever my brother says, he'sfucking wrong.
No, it's so wrong I believe.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I'm not sure I believe him let's give him a
call when he starts with mybrother's an embarrassment to my
family.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
I know he's gonna spit truth wait, wait dan says
that yeah, okay and then he saysoh hey, what's up, tony?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
so uh.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
After he caught this fish, he decided on the boat.
At that particular moment hewas leveling up I'm leveling up
he said.
He said I'm not going afterbass anymore.
I have now mastered the art oflure fishing for bass.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Interesting One catch after probably 10,000 casts.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Not even a legal keeping.
He's like.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I'm in.
He wanted musky.
I am a pro.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
He said I am catching a northern this year oh, I like
musky okay so northerns can betricky, right, because they're
they're aggressive, predatorfish that will eat anything that
they think is alive.
But my son has not mastered hehas not mastered the art of
(09:07):
making a lure look alive yet.
So it was rough.
It was weeks and weeks andweeks of him doing nothing but
throwing northern specific lures.
And I'm fishing alongside himFucking fish, hand over fist.
I'm fishing next to him.
(09:27):
I'm pulling in on average fournorthern a night and he's
catching zero and he's on theboat.
He's crying.
He almost lost the pole.
Every day we go back and hetells me how he's not a good
fisherman and all this stuff andhe's really down on himself.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
I kind of blame the teacher.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And we go out and I'm like don't worry, chase, it's
going to happen.
You have to listen to me abouthow these things need to be
reeled in.
You can't jerk them over yourshoulder.
You can't do this shit thatyou're doing because you don't
know how to do this yet.
I'm like let's really take sometime and figure out how to do
(10:14):
this.
So the next day we go back outand he catches I don't want to
say huge, huge is not the wordbut he catches a great northern
and it's the biggest northernthat's been on the boat this
year, nice.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
It was fucking phenomenal With the worm, though
, because he gave up on thatbullshit.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Nope, still on the lure.
I was trying Jay, I was tryingJay, I was trying for Jay, and
it was probably dude.
When it was on, he startedscreaming I'm on, I'm on, fish
on, fish on.
Get the net, get ready, getready.
Get your line in Logan, getyour line in.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
He wants you to bring your lines in dude.
Come on, you don't want to get.
This was a really big deal.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This was a really big deal.
People were sitting at, youknow, out on their decks at
their houses and everybody'swatching them fight this thing
in and he gets it to the boat.
I get it netted in.
It's a boot.
He fucking hold, he's, he'sholding it.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
You know, northern got some pretty aggressive teeth
how is he holding it with agrasp, like one of those grasp
things he's grabbing it behindthe gills, putting a hand under
its belly, holding it up in theair.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
He is excited.
He's jumping up and down on aboat, high five, and runs and
hugs his little brother.
He's like fucking screaming.
He's like take pictures, takepictures.
I, I take pictures.
He's like send him to mom, sendhim to nana, send him to uncle
joey, send him to uncle ricky,put him on facebook.
(12:01):
He's screaming for for all thisstuff.
Never been more excited aboutanything.
He's bleeding everywhere in hislife.
Nope, and and it was probablymy proudest dad moment of my
life, it was a really big deal.
(12:21):
Like, yeah, I taught the kidhow to ride a bike.
That shit was easy, that wasfive minutes hard.
That's really hard no it's theeasiest thing you can do as a
father to your child is teachthem how to ride.
Years of training and years ofdedication you know, basically I
didn't even have to do anything, I just told him there were
(12:41):
training wheels on it.
He fucking took off and I'mlike by the way, there's no
training wheels.
You're good, super easy.
It's fucking deadbeat.
Dads on one weekend a monthschedules could teach their kids
how to ride a bike, just saying.
but teaching a kid how tofucking land a big fat Northern,
(13:04):
that's fucking priceless dude.
It's going to stay with meforever.
That's good storytelling.
It's good it is.
Now I'm going to show it to youguys.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Why don't you?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
It's now the screensaver on my phone, because
it was his first, Northern.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Why didn't you fucking everything else you do?
Why don't you?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
You let your kid have that kind of hair going though,
bro.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I don't make my kids hair decisions Because if it
were up to me, my two kids andmy wife would all be high and
tight.
High and tight.
And my wife would all be highand tight.
She's like me, high and tight,but so what'd?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
you guys do with your kids this summer?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, that's a great one man, what was the proud dad
moment you had this year?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
For me.
I don't think it's one specificthing like that.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
So I know you were telling me earlier.
So did your kid achieve hisgoal of becoming towel boy on
the soccer team?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
it's a water boy.
Come on, you've seen the moviethere's no towel and soccer
juice bags basically this wholefucking summer.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I just imagine a towel boy washing all the other
players shoes, this.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
This whole summer I've become a coach for fucking
soccer and football Flagfootball primarily because I won
the championship On your flagfootball team.
Well, I mean, what do you callmine?
You're the coach.
It's not really mine, I am thecoach's.
The kids are the ones that havethe talent.
(14:45):
Basically, all I have to do isto tell them you know, here's
the routes, run the routes andif you do it right we'll win.
You do it wrong, we'll lose.
And defense you don't really doanything on defense.
You're like, hey, play yourzone, play your spot, get an
interception, pull the flag.
Whatever you do, I mean there'snot much to coaching at this
age.
Really there's not.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Well, that's actually really good, because you're
probably the worst person I evermet at explaining stuff.
280 episodes, oh yeah, prettymuch.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
No, yeah, I thought after the 200th episode I might
get a little better, but I feellike I'm going downward and
getting worse.
It might be the drugs or thedrinking, but one of the two,
yes.
They combine together and justmake me barely legible.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
It's like all right, jay, I want you to tell this
story, this episode.
All right, you got to make itlast about five minutes.
Okay, hey, jay, what about thatthing you did the end?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
those are my favorite stories.
Right when you start it, youjust fucking end it.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I want to know the beginning and doing a thing, and
then that happened, and thenthat was it okay, so I coach
both football, flag football andsoccer.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
And the soccer thing is what age range?
For the soccer it's, uh, it'seight to ten year olds, and for
football it's third, 12 to 14year olds.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
So you're coaching a team for two of your three kids.
Yeah solid.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
The.
The eldest kid is almost 18 and, yeah, fucking kid can't even
get out of his room.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, there's probably no masturbation league,
oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I mean that's all done in the shower.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Let me show you about twist turn method.
Run this route, you'll neverTwist turn.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Explain twist.
Okay, now that's anotherseparate episode, so I'm coached
for both of them.
The coaching is going great.
I have two practices for soccera week playing twitter.
Okay, now that's anotherseparate episode, so I'm coached
for both of them.
Um, the coaching is going great.
I have two practices for soccera week.
Do you wear all your puma gear?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
or do you wear?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
you gotta come you gotta come in prepared, you
gotta go in there like you are acoach.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
So you better be able to run the route if you're
gonna tell them to run the route.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Are your team colors red on both of them, because
almost almost all your clothesare red.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I have the soccer team is yellow and black and the
football team now this yearwell, actually, okay, the one
before was black.
Yeah, it's weird, it's allblack.
And then now the new flagfootball team is purple and
yellow.
So it's not very much and, yeah, I am disappointed that
nothing's red.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Nothing is red Shit.
I got to wait for Puma to comeout with their fall colors now.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I got to stay with this throughout the wintertime
to get to my red color bearings,where I can actually approve
fucking love and stuff.
No, so the coaching is great.
I mean there's a hugedifference between coaching kids
that are 8 to coaching kidsthat are 12 to 13.
Like eight-year-olds, they runaround, don't listen.
(17:49):
You're trying to get all ofthem together, talk to them to
get a game plan going andthey're all talking to each
other, looking at butterflies,playing with shit on the ground,
squirting water in each other'sfaces.
And then you get to the 12,13-year year olds and they're
like we don't want to get ourasses whooped, please tell me
something.
Their attention is right withyou and it's like I'm not used
(18:13):
to it, because I'm used toyelling at the kids to shut up
to listen like, shut up, listeneverybody in your house ignoring
you or on the podcast where Ican't even fucking talk before
getting yelled at by tony.
Mostly, no, but I'm used to thekids the younger kids not
listening and then when I get tothe lower kids listening, then
(18:35):
I start sounding stupid becauseI'm like shit.
I really have to start tellingthem what to do.
Or sounding somewhat I somewhatI can't fake this anymore.
Yeah, I can't sound dumb anymore.
I have to have structure in mysentences for them to understand
what I'm saying about routesand routes and whatever the fuck
I'm talking about.
But the younger kids it's justlike you know.
(18:57):
When I finally get them to shutup, all I got to say is get out
there and fucking play.
That's it.
You know, it's done.
Basically, the whole trainingis just getting shut up and
listen for for two seconds.
Um, but no, we, uh for thesoccer team.
We, we, we, we.
We got second place in the uh,the fucking championship thingy.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And then football.
We got that, we won everything.
And then we got the big,fucking stupid trophy thing,
which is probably like I mean,he was fucking as tall as my kid
, so what?
So would you say confidentlythat these kids couldn't have
got this trophy?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
without you?
No, I think they could have gotwithout me.
Yeah, definitely I have.
No, I trust me, I'm not, uh,I'm not a coach, were you like?
This trophy is basically minebecause you guys suck and it
wasn't for me, I conjugate thekids together, I get them
together to play the sport andtalk to the parents and get
scheduling down.
Basically, after that, I'm justthere to you know, root the
(19:57):
kids on like I'm a fuckingcheerleader.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I'm not, I'm not parents have a problem with you
yelling at their children mother, fuck I.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Do you think I yell at the kids?
I would you think I step overboundaries?
You think I try no, there'snothing I do so not to get
yelled at by their parents.
I, I'm nice as shit to the kids.
They do something, somethingwrong, I high five them.
You're going to get better nexttime, kid.
Great, there's no way I wouldyell at a kid.
(20:29):
If anything, it wouldn't beyelling, it'd just be like hey,
you know what.
You should probably do a littlebetter next time.
You should try catching theball with two hands Soft
coaching.
Yeah, I'm a soft, I'm a softie.
I'm not going to yell at thekids, just screaming Are you
fucking high.
The fuck is wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Can't you catch.
So the flag football league islike city by city or all new
Berlin kids City, it's all.
No, it it's Nine versus nine orwhat.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I mean, if they got second, they obviously didn't
have to go into the inner cityand play.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
No we got first in the flag, second in the soccer.
Yeah, no, it's all aroundcities, all around Wisconsin,
mostly our area.
Wisconsin Like nothing northern.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It's all men or all boys I mean.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
No, there's girls.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Mostly boys, though.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Mostly boys, but there are girls and I mean proud
dad moment with that would bejust winning that with the kid.
That's fun to be a part of itinstead of being in the crowd
watching them win.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Did your kid get any field goals?
Or whatever they do in soccer?
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Yeah, my kid.
He's one of the smaller kidsbut he's fast as fuck.
So, yes, he gets a lot oftouchdowns because he runs
behind everyone and gets out inthe open.
The dude has to just chuck itup.
Our quarterback's a greatquarterback, by the way Chucks
it up and he's wide open in theend zone because no one even
sees him coming.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's like a little squirrel going for a nut.
He's.
They don't have peripheralvision yet.
Yeah, and your kid's justliterally under the radar he's
so fast, dude so fast um.
So did you pursue thesecoaching positions?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
no, I never wanted to do the football thing.
I just wanted to stick to thesoccer thing because that's what
I did with the older kid too,and I was doing it for like
eight years.
But I did it because I didn'twant to not be a part of my
middle kids doing something withhim, because I did all the kids
coaching except for him.
So I did the flag for him andthen we won, and then I did it
(22:43):
one more time.
I said one more time, that's it, I'm done.
But he, he likes to tacklefootball in school.
So you can't, you know, youcan't coach that plus dude.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Literally they do it every day so do you get to bet
on the games?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
with the other parents.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Is this frowned upon?
Speaker 3 (23:01):
that would be great to do with some betting,
especially last year when ourteam, literally we had three
Okay, this is not a joke.
There's a point differential ingames, any type of sport you're
playing.
We had a 300 in.
I don't know what it was.
It was over 300 pointdifferential between every team,
so meaning we scored more than300 points than any other team.
(23:24):
Yeah, so when we went to this,the playoff, the last game, we
knew like our team was just sogood, I don't know, the kids
were bigger, we had the fastestkids, we had the most talented
kids.
We knew we were going to winanyway and it was literally like
every game was.
It was, I wouldn't say, boring.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
New Berlin has the money to draft the good kids.
I'm going to say it was thecoaching.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I've heard enough to say it was the coaching.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
I did make all my plays.
Now I don't want to brag, but Idid make all my plays.
But it doesn't matter, the kidswere the ones that did it.
The coaching was just like.
I think any coach could havecame into my team that team that
I had and won it all EasilyProbably not me, no, you
(24:11):
definitely could have.
You're a good leader,especially with things, and you
strive for betterness.
If you do something wrong, Ifeel like you would do twice as
much as you could the next.
If you do something wrong, Ifeel like you would do twice as
much as you could the next timeto do something better, I would
make myself run laps.
Don't even be like alright, guys, you dropped the ball, I'm
running.
No, but I think that was theonly thing I could say.
(24:37):
This summer was kind ofentertaining with the kids and
accomplishment it wasn't great.
I have to defer to the iPadagain.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
This summer was kind of entertaining with the kids
and accomplishment.
Yeah, it wasn't great.
I have to defer to the iPadagain.
I do shit with my kid.
I mean we had a great summer.
We did a whole bunch of shit.
Uh, she's really intogymnastics.
We've got our mat and a bar inour basement and like uh, uh,
(25:03):
balance beam thing and one ofthe things that she's.
She made the volleyball or thegymnastics team this year, so
she's been doing two hours twicea week.
How old is she?
Again?
She'll be nine soon, so team soI mean for like accomplishment.
It's a private.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Like how many backflips can she do in a row?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah, that's one of the things she did was like a
back.
I don't even know what the nameof it.
My wife was in gymnastics andshe's like I can't believe this
kid's doing this shit.
And then same thing developmenton the bar as far as
accomplishments.
But yeah, I mean, it's hard topass your story, tony, that was
(25:47):
good that was it.
I want everyone just to rewindand listen to the first 15
minutes of where this kid'sdetermination resulted in
ultimate joy.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
You know what it's about.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Tony, joy and pride.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
It's about Tony's explanation.
Tony's a great storyteller.
Everyone knows Tony's a greatstoryteller and he's the heart
and soul of stories for this,you know top shelf stories.
Not only did he come up withthe name, he's story driven.
We are the.
Well, I mean, chris is probablya little better than me, I'm
just here so I don't get fined.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
That's my line for most.
I'm here just to you know,reminisce, no I mean listen to
stories but yeah, being a dadhas been the top drive.
I mean that it's the mostultimate thing and, uh, watching
your kid grow up.
I mean yesterday.
One of the things we did is Inearly killed my kid yesterday
(26:50):
On purpose.
Almost no, it was a completeaccident.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Well, we got to hear that story.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
She does this thing because she's so gymnastical and
whatever flexible, high energy,all this other stuff and she'll
do this thing where she holdsmy hand and she jumps up and
grabs her legs around my waistand then puts her arms around my
neck and then she's hanging onme right and all the time she
does it I'm like we shouldn't bedoing this, because one of
(27:18):
these fucking times you're gonnafall, and that was the time was
yesterday basically you falldown at her neck or something
well, basically so she, shejumped up and I hold her hands
and she jumps and then she putsher legs around my waist kind of
like a monkey you would imaginegrabbing onto a tree or
whatever, or their mom or dad,and then she puts her arms
(27:38):
around my neck and then she'shanging on me, but this time,
instead of grabbing my neck, shedidn't quite grab, or I let go
too early, or whatever, and ittook nanoseconds but it felt
like hours, as my kid wasfalling and I just couldn't grab
her enough to stop her, to slowher down enough.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That's when you shove your foot out in front of you.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Well, it was right in the kitchen what it was right
in the kitchen.
Well, her legs are still kindof strapped around my legs and
she's falling downwards and Ikind of had her, but yeah, she
smacks the ground and I was like, oh my God, I just cracked the
back of my head.
I thought it was only her head,of course.
I was like oh directly onto herhead, directly onto a rock,
(28:20):
directly onto like.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
I imagined the worst Was she screaming crying.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
But no, she, it was actually kind of okay, but she
was in shell shock.
But no she, it was actuallykind of okay, but she was in
shell shock.
It was like pretty ridiculous,she fell.
I'm nearly six or five, 10, 11feet tall.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
You love six four on.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Tinder and she she's out of my grasp at what I felt
like was an accelerating pacehere, you know.
But yeah, she landed mostly onher back actually, thank God
Cause it wasn't her fuckingnoggin, but I sat her down and
we're doing like.
We took her into the booth,like at the football games, to
make sure she didn't have aconcussion.
(28:55):
Yeah, yeah, checked her eyesand all this other shit.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
She didn't.
She didn't cry or nothing notreally.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Uh and yeah a little, but more than like just scared,
like she was fucking scary dude, like she was, she smacked her
noggin.
She would have smacked herfucking noggin, bad right yeah
and uh, yeah, I felt like afucking piece of dirt for like
almost you know hours because Ifelt like I failed.
(29:23):
Right, because you're supposedto protect your child and all
this shit.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
No, you know you definitely did.
But yeah, I totally did, I did.
I'm never gonna let it down.
No, we'll just be real about it.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
It should have been fine she pulled through, but I
bet you don't make that mistake,you know.
Let those arms go out first now.
Yeah, you know shit right.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Some people just learn from mistakes, and tony
always says what tony said justput your foot out there, cause
it did fall yesterday when itall happened.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
It was just such a nonchalant moment and it did
kind of open your eyes, my eyesand I should say to like how
quickly one left turn didn'tstop at the yellow, all that
kind of shit.
You're like Whoa, whoa, fragile, life is flat fragile.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
My, uh, my five-year-old really fucked
himself up last weekend.
Oh boy Hanging from thechandelier?
No, so he runs.
He runs from the kitchen tablearea and runs and jumps over the
(30:28):
arm of our couch and runsacross the couch and then jumps
onto the coffee table.
He does it all the fucking time.
I can't get him to stop doingit.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I try coffee table have sharp ends and shit yeah,
oh yeah, it's solid press woodI've tried everything.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I put a hung cookie sheets over the edge, hoping the
loud noise would scare him.
Nothing works with this kid andmy wife yells at him every time
he does it and I just tell herI'm like he's gonna learn
sometime.
I'm like yo just let himfucking do it.
He's gonna fuck himself up.
I'm like.
(31:08):
But he needs it.
He has to.
It's the only way I've saidthis, like you fucking yelling
does nothing, it doesn't changehis mind about it, it doesn't
talk him out of it.
That's fucking not true?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
no, it is like 91 there's a.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
There's a point.
Yeah, you can say no.
Or to the horse drink, drink,drink.
But they got to drink thefucking water, dude.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
No, that's not true.
My kid hurts himself, does thesame fucking thing two seconds
later.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Oh, that's a Darwinism type problem it's
genetic.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
This is why he's excelling in football.
A soccer player, he just infootball.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Soccer player.
He just keeps going, soccerplayer.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
But so we've been having a couple like adult
weekends as of recently, and Itook my wife out of town for
dinner on Friday and when we gothome, on Saturday Well, you
don't leave them home alone well, that's their fucking fault.
(32:11):
They should be older now.
Who watches them really?
uh, my wife's dad don't leavethem alone with your wife's dad
we get home and he's like hefinally ate it and I'm like, oh,
what happened?
He's like, well, he went to it.
And I'm like, oh, what happened?
And he's like, well, he went tojump from the couch to the
coffee table and he slippedwhile he was jumping and he
(32:37):
caught the coffee table to theribs Oof Cracked rib.
And she's like he said he wascoming at it quick and I'm like,
oh, how bad's the bruising.
Like, how fucked up is he?
He goes.
I don't know, I didn't seeanything.
He's like, you know, these kidsare so rubbery, they're just
fucking fine.
(32:57):
He's like, but he cried forlike two hours and that kid
doesn't cry.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
He's got a broken rib .
Well, he knows that mom and dadtold him that he's gonna get
hurt and now it happened whenthey weren't even there.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
So he can't even pretend like it didn't happen,
because someone else is gonnasay it happened so before I
dumped him off on the sitter onsunday or saturday night for
sunday I took him to a differentsitter because we had other
shit to do um, I'm fuckinggetting him changed and he's
(33:30):
standing there in his underwearand I look at his fucking leg.
His whole leg is fuckingbruised, from his knee to his
pelvis, just fucking.
That's what he caught.
And I'm like, oh, what happenedto your leg?
And he was like I hit the table.
And I'm like, oh, you don't say.
(33:51):
I'm like, how'd that happen?
I'm like doesn't your mom tellyou not to do it all the time?
And he goes.
He's like in five-year-oldterms.
He's like, yeah, now I see whyshe tells me not to do that like
guarantee.
He's like oh, mom was right whendid?
Speaker 3 (34:08):
that hurt real bad saturday.
Okay, so give it in a week.
You're gonna do, he's gonna doit again.
Yeah, probably not.
Oh, I guarantee.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Okay, no, mark that, mark it my kids learn from their
real mistakes marked it.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
So guess what?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
let me know in a week you know I learned this about
parenting from from my brother,who had kids long before I did
older brother or younger brother, the middle brother, rick,
didn't your younger brother havekids before you too?
No, okay, anyway.
Um, to go back from a storyfrom a previous podcast recorded
(34:47):
today, uh, I was telling you,the day we were we had our first
baby was one of the his worstdays of his life yeah yeah, uh,
his, his kid is exactly ninemonths younger than our kid, so
if you can, he figured out hiswife or girlfriend at the time
(35:08):
was pregnant
Speaker 3 (35:10):
okay, okay, yep, that was the day.
Fuck, I'm stupid because Icouldn't figure it out.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Thanks, but uh he had , uh, their house.
He lived in a old convertedduplex in, uh in the city and,
uh, it was an attic convertedinto a duplex in one of these
old milwaukee south sidebungalows and, uh, there were,
there was no venting to thisattic and they weren't going to
(35:39):
rip all the walls up to getvents up there.
So they put this, uh, thisreally kind of big box furnace
it's about the size of thisshelf right here turned on its
side and uh, uh, it just got hotand it had a vent out the top
(35:59):
and, uh, it just blew the airout of the vent and that thing,
that thing got glowing red.
I believe it I mean that thatthing got fucking hot like use.
You couldn't stand a foot awayfrom it and I'm always like damn
dude, you got these fuckingbabies in this house.
You don't put a gate around it.
He's like dude, he goes.
(36:20):
They only touch it once I mean,I guess, he goes if I put gates
around it, he's like it's notgonna do shit.
They're gonna get around thegates and it's gonna become a
thing.
If it's just there and it's hotand they touch it and they feel
how hot it is, he's like theyain't gonna fucking touch it
(36:43):
again.
He's like all the kids touchedit once in their life and that's
it.
And I'm like, yep, that's howthey learn that's how we learn
some shit, man it's.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
You know, failure is not the opposite of success,
it's part of success you have tofucking experience the bad in
order to know what the fuck toavoid yeah, it's like anything
you can't win until you lose.
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
I've been losing my whole life.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
In a certain way okay .
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Not just blatantly.
But yeah, all right, so thatwas our story this week.
Hope you liked it.
Jay's going to tell you to hitsubscribe or hit the like button
Top.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Shelf Stories.
Comment below Tell me in thecomment section below liked it.
Jay's gonna tell you to hitsubscriber.
Hit the like button or leave acomment.
Stories comment below.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Tell me in the comment section below what your
proud dad moment was I just lovethat you mock me at the end of
fucking every episode.
Dick, is that what ended?
Just laughing?
Sure We'll be right back.
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