134. A Bad Case Of Footmouse

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Maxx * [e-mail] * Michael * https://www.instagram.com/softseabunny/ * https://www.tiktok.com/@creative.rabbit Topics: * "World's greatest author Chuck Tingle" * Way of making moving easier, collective tips? * https://overmental.com/content/the-beautiful-zelda-artwork-of-katsuya-terada-7898 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DataHand * Melatonin parenting decisions * http://false-panels.com/fjf/ Microtopics: * Rabbit nose speeds. * A stranger from Australia handing you a twenty dollar bill. * Lining a trench coat with Steam keys. * How to make Elden Ring feel like a video game rather than a slog. * An incredible variety of fantastical biomes filled with body horror monstrosities that are inexplicably bad at killing you. * Playing Elden Ring with passive enemies * Big columns with massively muscular horsemen. * Sheep curling up into a wheel and rolling away. * Fostering a different sense of what accomplishment means. * Ramps interweaving the stairway. * Going into a spooky house and the house is like "why would you come in here? Can't you see I'm haunted" * Going into a spooky house in hopes of seeing bespoke content. * An author of real books that people think are memes. * A tornado that has a butthole because it must've picked it up with all the other debris. * Lesbian candy corn. * High-functioning chocoholics. * Having sex with the State of California and reading the list of things that the State of California has found to cause cancer. * Making a career out of exploring the weird connections in your own mind. * Writing to Chuck Tingle to ask for more details about the 747's genitalia. * Moving house and then moving house again immediately, to save yourself a packing/unpacking cycle. * Having many shamefully confusing objects and making the movers wear blindfolds. * Making your friends wear blindfolds and rely on LIDAR when they come into your house. * Putting all your vacation souvenirs in storage and going to your storage unit when you want to remember your vacation. * Three drawers of cables organized into power cables, USB cables and audio cables, all neatly constrained with velcro. * Giving your rabbit decoy cables to chew on so that the important cables remain safe. * Throwing away 70% of your stuff. * Whether it's a lie if you have books on your shelf that you haven't read yet. * Apocryphal John Waters quotes. * Having an outfit for hacktivism. * Mounting the spines of books you've read above your hearth. * Data Hands. * A keyboard that doesn't work in direct sunlight. * Foot Mouse and the Data Hands. * Staring into the abyss, wiggling your fingers. * Underwear computing. * Late-onset melatonin generation. * How to deal when everybody in the family gets sick at once. * An island made of bureaucracy. * The fax machine in your underwear computer. * How to pronounce "James" according to Jim's facebook profile. * Armchairing a request for poetry in the rudest way possible. * Streets that duel like coarse teeth. * The matted thing that leaves its woman without the duck. * Hooking your poetry generator up to a receipt printer so people can print a new poem on demand. * Writing a poem and finding out what you meant later. * Soup repair. * A man who is nice on British TV but angry on American TV. * Old Enough! * An extremely relatable two year old. * Being tasked with juicing some oranges and spending the next hour chasing the dog.