201. Don't Be Distressed, It's Just Australia

Lords: * Alex * Shannon Topics: * Tree law * https://www.tumblr.com/whistletown/721716818422677504 * https://www.tumblr.com/whistletown/723346723280453632 * Tax Heaven 3000 * When I was a kid I read about a magic trick where if you touch your index fingers together and cross your eyes, a disembodied third finger appears between them.This is the kind of thing we had for entertainment in the 80s. * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/156405/outbreaks * Best food byproducts Microtopics: * Exhausting topics before the show even starts. * Should we give bee educators guns? * Lords with lord awards. * Megalords lording over huge swaths of topics. * Getting your partner a very smooth engagement ring so it hurts less when they punch you in the face. * Trimming a tree in the middle of summer. * Tree law consequences. * The Hitman games, you know, with the bald guy * Whether Hit People are hired to kill likable or dislikable people. * Games with missions designed to make you feel bad about what you're doing but also to give you no choice but to do it. * Injured while sl searching for bodies in Lake Mead? Demand compensation! * A cute anime girl who really wants to help you prepare your taxes. * MSCHF. * Calling the Key 4 All hotline for real time data on the car's location and speed. * Playing Geoguessr to determine where the car is. * Reverse engineering the smell of WD-40. * Using the car for purposes of a car. * The legal standing of Public Universal Car. * Don't rotate the donut, you gave to rotate the pie * Legal MSCHF. * Taking the SATs for money. * Writing a list of demands in a child's scrawl and sending it to your senator. * Seeing the Vienna sausage with knuckles. * Getting a book of Magic Eyes in the 90s and staring at it until you see the dolphin and having a splitting headache for the next day and a half. * A jump scare in Magic Eye form. * Why we all need glasses. * Listening to your dad listening to a podcast. * Disappearing your own nose. * The purpose of feeling boredom. * The impossibility of being bored when libraries exist. * Paleolithic man enjoying memes. * Why campfire smoke always blows into your eyes. * Building a prehistoric highway system and using one of those printers that prints on the road so paleolithic man can enjoy dank memes. * What kids get in their stockings today now that iTunes gift cards are obsolete. * Why keep any DVDs? * A common metaphor for a problem that can be overcome by relaxing. * The most racist shrimp. * It's not a firearm, it's just an explosive knife. * Begging your mom to buy you the Krazy Krabs. * Putting on a brine shrimp show for your family members. * A spring loaded rigid whip. * Kitchen Somebody. * Searching for comfort and the eels come. * The neon 24 hour fried chicken sign gleaming behind the pines. * Finding god in a cluster of eels beneath your palms. * Have you given god a pizza? * A different eel pizza meme. * All the Breaking Bad fans coming to your neighborhood and throwing pizza on top of the Pizza Eels for a photo opportunity and the eels are getting extremely fat. * Feeding the sharks by stuffing a dive suit full of chum. * A cooking process that creates a byproduct that you can use to cook something else. * Calling bean juice "aqua fava" and styling. * Browning the whey to create a delicious paste loaf. * The two-in-one, in which they put two taquitos into a burrito. * Glorpamole.