218. Darmok And Jalad Go To White Castle

Lords: * Stevie * Avery Topics: * A tour of silly medieval musical instruments * The House of David, the baseball cult who all looked like oldtimey barbers. * Arguing with Winston about how needing to pee works * Avery's Non Mammalian Milk Corner * Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing over 7,000 Pounds * https://rpo.library.utoronto.ca/content/ode-mammoth-cheese-weighing-over-7000-pounds Microtopics: * Why the show works like that. * Asking people if they understand what's going on. * Spy software. * Exactly the kind of game you don't want to explain. * Someone who has a sense of humor and thinks something is funny. * A hat you can put on your frog. * Why frogs are so damn popular. * The game with the magnifying glass. * Whether the recorder is a real instrument or a crappy toy for babies. * Just how thicc this bass recorder is * The supercomputer that's also a couch. * Talking to your mom on the phone for 45 minutes because she can't stop listing medieval instruments. * Recorders that are double recorders. * Michael Fassbender teaching his clone how to play the flute. * Eating a pair of garden shears. * An umbrella handle that was given growth hormones that sounds kind of like a stylophone. * An instrument that is curved so that you can play it on horseback without bonking the horse. * The sackbut. * A selfie stick but for a trombone. * Sausage bassoons. * Unholy Rackett. * How long how many strings look it up? * Insufflation tubes and dudelsacks.. * Versatile, like the Pogues. * Bears riding unicycles but not very well. * Overblowing. * Jim the Overblower. * Bringing up bugles to someone who works hospice. * How many songs you can play on a bugle. * Not wanting to play Beatles Rock Band because you with at BevMo. * A photo of an early 20th century cult/baseball team that looks like a modern-day metal band. * Not being able to make it to the majors so you settle for House of Dave. * Someone who's never played Blaseball trying to explain Blaseball. * Amusement parks started by cults. * A pretty good way to end a baseball league. * Additional amusement. * Preserving tiny railways built by a baseball cult. * A busy man who has no time to pee. * Peristalsis. * Persons currently experiencing hubris. * What happens to your knowledge when you're not actively thinking about it. * When you can truly say you know the capital of the United States. * Waking up needing to pee and trying to fall back to sleep so that you forget you need to pee. * Having a dream about urinals overflowing. * Cutting nature at its joints. * Preparing for Topicking. * Whether the Jejune Institute made money. * When Sacky Meets Butty. * Signing a contract in someone else's blood. * Yet another non-mammalian milk. * Jacked, yoked, ripped and swole spiders. * Imagery that's only unsettling because you don't regularly drink spider milk. * Vestigial web butts. * Sympathy for the young. * Putting on a spider silk dress and never being able to take it off. * A communal spider butthole web. * Blinded by the milk, wrapped up in a douche. * The first boutique New York restaurant to serve spider milk pancakes. * Cutting out all the parts where people say something dumb. * Drum Pants. (It turns your pants into a drum set.) * We have seen the a Queen of Cheese. * The worst rhyme scheme. * A poem that screams 5th grade. * Why does this web site have line numbers? * Are you a bad enough dude to save the president's cheese? * A poetic technique that can be really cool (but not in this poem) * Confusing this mammoth cheese with another mammoth cheese. * The most mammalian of all mammals. * My Mother Milked a Million Mostly Male Mammoths. * A huge ice cream tub carried by four ponies. * 35 tons of milk * Extremely fake beards. * A thing people once said to sell chicken.