Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * April * https://twitter.com/aprilsaur * John * https://ostparty.podbean.com/ * https://twitter.com/YouOldSoAndSo * https://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/pooplers-switch/ * https://twitter.com/lizardengland/status/1333825611144556547/photo/1 Topics: * Woodworking * Mentors and mentorship in general * Advent calendar dice * Scott asks "Please discuss Rax and Mr. Delicious" * https://boingboing.net/2020/10/09/meet-mr-delicious-the-weirdest-fast-food-spokesperson-ever.html * Mariko Aoki Phenomenon. The phenomenon of having to poop when entering a bookstore. Named after the woman who experienced it and brought it to wider attention. If you wish to elaborate further, what's an inexplicable condition that you've experienced and suspect is shared with some portion of the populace? Would you want it named after you? Microtopics: * Using your work name on the internet for a thing you don't want work to see. * Neither of the guests plugging Topic Lords, for the 65th time in a row. * Trying to guess the channel The Expanse used to be on. * How movies used to be teal and orange but now they're just green. * Letting all the cats into the room to purr into the microphones. * Things people expect you to be good at when you're a park ranger. * Woodworking. * Protecting your food from raccoons and turkeys. * The peace of bringing a physical object to fruition. * Making a napkin holder in middle school wood shop. * How it's ok to make fun of someone's face as long as you've never seen their face. * Building a bridge out of popsicle sticks. * Building a bridge out of sentient goo-balls. * The first sense you use to consume a meal. * How pleased everyone is with Jim's new hobby. * A knock knock joke if the punch line was playing peek-a-boo. * Eating cold pizza right out of the freezer. * Growing into a preference for being around people who aren't assholes. * Looking up to people in your field. * Only realizing that your mentors were mentors in retrospect. * A recurring topic on this show. * Knowing several librarians independent of the time you worked in the library. * Playing Zork on your uncle's laptop. * Printing your nephew's MS Paint art rather than just using your printer for taxes. * An Advent calendar except instead of being laid out in the grid the candy goes in a 25 sided die. * Forgetting about your Advent calendar after a few days and having extra candy next year. * An Advent calendar where behind each numbered door is a die with that number of faces. * Extruding a coin and inventing the three sided die. * Putting stickers in your Advent calendar instead of candy, because you hate your child. * Question asking games. * Rolling a natural 1 on your Advent calendar dice and having to throw all your presents in the garbage. * Games where even if you're bad at games you still have a chance to win. * The importance of being bored. * The growing ubiquitousness of video games. * An epidemic that demands everybody spend a full year at the DMV. * Desperately trying to change your last name before your child is born so that your names will match. * Whether gestational diabetes counts for your diabetes threepeat. * Derailing the conversation about fast food advertising with your top two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. * Mythical roast beef venue RAX. * Opening your trench coat to reveal one of those silver food domes that you lift up. * Talking about your vasectomy in an advertisement for roast beef sandwiches. * Fast food for adults advertised with Ronald McDonald holding a briefcase. * The luxury of two leaves of iceberg lettuce. * Charles Nelson Reilly, recurring guest on Match Game. * That time you wanted to watch American Gladiators and there was exactly one episode on YouTube. * Asking a kid if they know what Kumon is and they make the sad face. * The tutoring place you take your kid to if you want them to know math instead of being happy. * Whether you're allowed to have impostor syndrome about something you do professionally. * Reframing your impostor syndrome as being about how good you are at fooling people into thinking you have worth. * Getting rid of the clown. * Bringing the clown man back. * Love in the time of Beavis and Butthead. * The content that our listeners crave. * Our frothing demand to find a bathroom increases. * How bookstores and toilets smell the same in Japan. * The full body sensation you get right before you're about to do cocaine. * Training your toddler to pee at a whistle tone and then making them wet their pants on all their first dates. * The mental link between books and pooping.