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January 25, 2021 58 min
Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! ( Lords: * Kev Zettler * * Xalavier Nelson, Jr. * Topics: * The fine art of professional wrestling * Stealing the declaration of independence to save Nicolas Cage's life * Atari 2600 Adventure's effectiveness as a port of Crowther and Woods Adventure * Larry asks "That one time Taco Bell promised every American a free taco if the Mir space station hit a taco target in the indian Ocean but it missed by an entire hemisphere." * Non-violent communication * The threshold between an object/entity being large, and SO large that your brain can no longer process it effectively and you're no longer impressed * Sucking a glass onto your face Microtopics: * Still the raddest place to play web games. * An Airport For Aliens Currently Run By Dogs. * Interacting with dogs in a whole new way. * Being clean and dirty at the same time. * Dog synergies. * The legal standing of a game downloading a random guitar tab from the internet to make a dog play guitar. * A scope creep game that ships. * Whether professional wrestling is trashy. * Audience-reactive improv theater performed by professional stunt men. * Pro wrestling jargon creeping into your * A work for marks who are smart marks and don't know when they're being worked or if they're not. * Stealing vocabulary from Victorian urchins. * Whether women's wrestling is still about macho posturing. * Meme warfare thought devices. * Muscled theatrical performers doing their dangedest * Whether GDC is ever going to happen again. * Whether GDC will be the same without Simon Carless. * Whether Lost Levels can exist without GDC bringing everyone physically together and secretly reserving the physical venue. * Every D-level game dev celebrity entering an arena and only one D-level game dev celebrity leaving. * A contract sealed in blood that is a matter of public record. * Having an hour and 45 minutes to save Nicholas Cage's life by stealing the Declaration of Independence. * Finding out that Nicholas Cage was injured in a bear fighting accident and realizing that now's your time to shine. * Finding out that isn't based on geolocation technology, it just scrapes TMZ for headlines that contain both "cage" and "bear." * Why we still have to steal the Declaration of Independence if everyone is aware of the Nicholas Cage situation. * Conspicuously walking down the street with the Declaration of Independence rolled up under your arm like a newspaper so that an urchin can snatch it away from you and you can pretend to be incensed. * Finding out what Habeas Corpus means. * Atari 2600 Adventure vs. Crowther and Woods Adventure. * Adapting a text adventure to computer system that can't render text. * Making a game where you explore until you find an ending in a context where all anyone's ever seen is games where you play for a high score. * Remakes changing the meaning of the original. * Inventing a 4D game platform to port Demon's Souls to. * Hitting a taco target in the Indian ocean. * Whether 40'x40' is a big taco or a small target for a space station. * All of America having a taco-in-the-streets party. * Dipping your girlfriend and smooching her as taco cheese falls from the sky. * Mir falling from the sky every day being a small price to pay to solve world hunger. * Taco Bell beginning to sweat as they realize the revolution is about to start. * Alternate history fiction where the branch point is that Taco Bell gave every American a free taco after Mir hit their taco target. * Non-Violent Communication. * Communicating your lived experience backed with justification and couched in empathy. * Instead of saying "you're annoying me," saying "I am annoyed because of you." * The HALT principle. * Big things making your brain go "ooh!" * Being terrified of the scale of Jupiter but the sun being like "meh" * Being terrified by an enormous mammoth but less terrified of the Earth when the Earth is bigger and closer than the mammoth. * Being unable to process the scale of a large city but eventually becoming desensitized to it. * Deciding whether to be impressed by something's size based on whether it's horizontal or vertical. * The relief and comfort of realizing that humans don't make any fricking sense. * Making New Year's Resolution of finally making sense of yourself and of the world. * Different goals emerging from the same root: hubris. * Not being able to form a seal on your face because you have a beard. * Normalizing shaving a hole in your beard sized and situated to suck a drinking glass onto your face. * Putting a drinking glass on your face in various configurations until one feels right. * A drinking glass size rooted in a human arrogance that you can appreciate but that you can't encourage. * Learning to suck a glass onto your face from the kid next to you at Applebee's.
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