70. The Cow Tools Experience

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * James is on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Triplefox * Jesse is on Twitter. Topics: * One of the last "most wanted" Nazi war criminals lives in my town. * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HelmutOberlander * What's Michael?, the other cartoon fat cat * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What%27sMichael%3F * There are several What's Michael anime series, one of them has a particularly amazing music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWZLz1LQRnY&t=116s * The opening of the Heathcliff Cartoon uses one of the numerous Shuki Levy 80's cartoon themes. It rhymes "jubilee" with "superiority"! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LLb8EBU9nQ * He’s Wearing The Gravy Helmet, Again : The Greatest Single Panel in Modern American Comics: https://medium.com/@videocrime/hes-wearing-the-gravy-helmet-again-the-greatest-single-panel-in-modern-american-comics-10c269ca4102 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listoffictionalcatsincomics * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listoffictionalcatsinanimation * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CowTools * In the patent for Tapper, the developers admit that it's just Space Invaders turned on its side * https://www.kmjn.org/notes/tappervideogamepatent.html * "Upon an advancing patron such as the cowboy 54e in FIG. 2 receiving a filled mug 58b, the receiving patron will be moved or repelled back toward the door end of the bar a predetermined incremental distance. If the patron is moved to the boundary at the door image 52, the patron goes off screen for a predetermined time interval and then reenters the same bar at the door 52. However, if the repelled thirsty patron remains on screen, the patron will then be shown in a drinking pose 54f as in FIG. 3. When the patron, after a predetermined delay, finishes drinking the beverage, the empty mug 58c, is slid back toward the supply or keg end of the bar." * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IceColdBeer * Ice Cold Beer has an official digitization in "Zeke's Peak" https://store.steampowered.com/app/1093800/ZekesPeak/ * https://store.steampowered.com/app/457890/TumbleSeed/ * http://isoraqathedh.github.io/Orsaibts/anticharacterism.html * Shogun Assassin (1980) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081506/ * Brad asks "Hummingbirds have to consume twice their body weight in a day to survive. If you had to do this, what would your strategy be?" * Realizing pop cans are 355 mL because that's 12 US fluid ounces. * The ounce is a unit of mass and the dry ounce of volume, but the pint and the dry pint are both units of volume. * https://www.ic.gc.ca/eic/site/mc-mc.nsf/eng/hlm00007.html * Soda vs Pop vs. Coke: Who Says What, And Where? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/soda-vs-popn2103764 * Plastic Recycling is an Actual Scam https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJnJ8mK3Q3g * How China Broke the World's Recycling https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXRtNwUju5g * Is macaroni and cheese known outside of America? Or, if you were opening a restaurant in a foreign country, what cuisine would it be? * How Thai food took over America https://www.splendidtable.org/story/2019/01/10/how-thai-food-took-over-america * What Color Is a Tennis Ball? https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/02/what-color-tennis-ball-green-yellow/523521/ * https://www.pizzapizza.ca/catalog/config/dipping-sauce-product1919/store/1/delivery * Wikipedia lists these other related dishes: * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonara * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilimac * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipinospaghetti * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%A4sesp%C3%A4tzle Microtopics: * An oddly temperate day in the park in the middle of January. * Not necessarily recognizing the war criminal who lives in your town. * Checking the box that says "I did not do the Holocaust" on the immigration form. * How it takes 50 years to deport a Nazi from Canada. * Berlin, Canada. * Getting a steak and a beer with the 110 year old who works with you at the grocery store. * Where you go if you're really young and you want to become a war criminal. * A thing that is strange but also very ordinary. * Explaining Garfield. * Heathcliff, the other other fat orange cartoon cat. * Explaining cow tools. * Tools that don't really look like anything but it's the best a cow can do. * What it means when Heathcliff wears the gravy helmet. * When an ancient comic strip gets funny again because the original artist finally retired and got replaced by a Tumblr user. * Stealing all the fish from the fish counter and the vendor can't do anything about it because you're wearing a helmet that says "fish." * Scrolling a web page and discovering how many helmets Heathcliff has. * Managing the flow of mugs in this Space Invaders clone. * The best electromechanical bar game that triggers your trypophobia. * A story-heavy RPG adaptation of an electromechanical bar game. * Playing a story heavy ga