March 24, 2025 • 49 mins
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What happens when a retired law enforcement officer embarks on a new journey of self-discovery? Join us as we chat with Thomas Carchidi, an inspiring figure whose life story is woven with resilience, heritage, and transformation. As the only child of Italian immigrants, Thomas shares how the grit and determination of his parents shaped his values and drove him towards a career in service. His journey doesn’t stop at retirement; he’s now navigating identity shifts and a new chapter in life, including the pursuit of a law degree, and embracing the healing power of storytelling through writing and podcasting.
(11:15) https://porthouse.kw.com/
(36:24) https://cancer.va.gov/
You can purchase your copy of A Life in Law Enforcement, A Police Memoir, The Good, The Bad, The Corrupt by Thomas Carchidi on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and bookbaby.com.
Connect with Thomas on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomas-carchidi-653345331/
Looking for more perspective, empowerment, and self-worth?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Josh Porthouse (00:00):
The views expressed in this podcast are
solely those of the podcast hostand guest and do not
necessarily represent those ofour distribution partners,
supporting businessrelationships or supported
audience.
Welcome to Transacting Value,where we talk about practical
(00:22):
applications for instigatingself-worth when dealing with
each other and even withinourselves, where we foster a
podcast listening experiencethat lets you hear the power of
a value system for managingburnout, establishing boundaries
, fostering community andfinding identity.
My name is Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and we are redefining
sovereignty of character.
(00:42):
This is why values still holdvalue.
This is Transacting Value.
Thomas Carchidi (00:50):
Carpenter, plumber, doesn't matter what you
do Lawyer, doctor, infantryman,cop, doesn't matter.
Do it the best you can, and dothe best you can with your
abilities that God gave you andgive it back to him.
That's how I live my life.
Josh Porthouse (01:07):
Today on Transacting Value.
Who do you become when yourbaseline is crime and corruption
?
In fact, after a life withcrime and violence and the
gritty reality that police workcan be, even your options might
seem slim.
Well, today on the show, theauthor of A Life in Law
Enforcement, a police memoir,the good, the bad and the
(01:29):
corrupt and retired lawenforcement officer out of Long
Island, new York, tom Karkiti,is here and he's going to set
the record straight.
Folks, I'm Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and from SDYT Media,
this is Transacting Value, tom.
What's up, man?
How you doing?
Thomas Carchidi (01:44):
How you doing, josh, thanks for having me.
My, uh, my pleasure.
Thanks for inviting me on theshow.
Josh Porthouse (01:49):
Absolutely and honestly man with a career like
yours and a book like yours, Ifigure you you should be like
the, the commissioner Gordon inthe entire Batman series.
You know what I mean.
Like your story seems like.
It's so crazy to me that it wasjust the only piece missing was
Batman.
What?
What is this like?
(02:09):
Let's start at the beginning.
How about this?
Let's ground it a little bitfor everybody who is just tuning
into the conversation.
How about we start here?
Who are you All right, whereare you from and what sort of
things have actually shaped yourperspective on life?
Thomas Carchidi (02:23):
I'm an only child of two Italian immigrants
off the boat, as we call it,from Calabria, italy.
They came in the 50s, off theboat, moved to Brooklyn.
I was born in Brooklyn when Iwas a kid, lived there for a
couple of years, moved out toLong Island, been always young,
but always back and forthbecause I had family there,
italian-american family, veryimportant.
(02:44):
My heritage, you knowChristianity.
Italian and Christianity gotogether hand in hand.
But my parents also wanted meto, you know, be indoctrinated
into the American culture.
They wanted me to be anAmerican.
You know the American dream.
So that's basically where itstarts.
I was always an athletic kid.
(03:05):
I always loved sports, martialarts.
I started martial arts when Iwas a little boy.
All the way up, you know it'sone of my loves.
I'm an American combat karate,full contact karate, black belt
or Brazilian jiu-jitsu, blackbelt.
Um, you know I love teaching, Ilove helping people, giving
back to the community and, uh, Iguess that's a good starting
(03:27):
point.
You know I went to high school,college, grade school, catholic
school for eight years, publichigh school, plain Edge High
School.
Then I went to college, cityUniversity, new York, john Jay
College, undergrad, long IslandUniversity, CW Post for my
master's and now I'm in my thirdyearyear law school, hopefully
studying to be an attorney.
Um, yeah, man.
(03:47):
So that that's a basic, genericstart for me.
Uh, just to give you an ideaabout myself, some pedigree info
unbelievable.
Josh Porthouse (03:57):
What a start.
Okay, so the american dream,all things considered as an
immigrant family not to getpolitical about it, but you know
, just for a frame of referenceas an immigrant family coming in
in the 50s, what does theAmerican dream get qualified as?
How is that defined?
Thomas Carchidi (04:15):
A lot different than it does now.
A lot different than it doesnow.
I don't like to compare myparents or a group of people to
any other group, um, becauseeverybody has their own
experiences and almost everygroup has been persecuted at
some time or another.
But Italians had a hard waywhen they came here, you know,
they really did.
Um, it was written in newspaperfor everyone to see.
(04:38):
There was advertisements thisjob, that job, no Italians need
apply.
I mean, yeah, you can't makethis up, you still?
You know newspaper clippings.
Um, yeah, my mom and dad wouldnever give it anything.
My mom came here.
She started working when shewas 15.
She rose her way up the ranksat, uh, I believe it was
beltlantic, then 9x or viceversa, then all the way up to
(05:01):
verizon.
Um, she, she was a managerthere for 35 years.
She retired.
My father when he first came toAmerica he was going to night
school and working all day as amechanic with his father at a
car shop, auto body and mechanicgarage.
And shortly after he came toAmerica he was drafted during
(05:25):
the vietnam war so uh, it was noeasy.
There was no easy route, easyway out for them.
You know, when they came here,they, they worked for everything
.
They had nothing when they camehere.
And now you know, yeah house inlong island, house of state,
you know, vacation home.
They worked hard, they did theright thing and, uh, my parents
(05:45):
really did live the Americandream and I benefited from it,
thank God.
Josh Porthouse (05:49):
Yeah, absolutely .
And that's only in onegeneration.
One generation, dude.
That's crazy.
I can only imagine that someaspect of that stubbornness and
resilience and family attitudeit had to get transferred over.
It doesn't fall that far thatquick.
You know what I mean?
100 percent, 100, geez, yeah,unbelievable.
(06:11):
And then okay, so you, you madeyour career as a cop.
With what nypd, what, what didyou know?
Thomas Carchidi (06:18):
no, so after college and graduate school I
moved down to maryland.
I was a police officer inBaltimore.
I did a couple of years thereand a lot of transferred out.
I went to Montgomery County,which I retired from.
Montgomery County, montgomeryCounty, maryland it's a suburb
in Maryland right on the DCborder.
(06:39):
It's a lot of affluent places.
It has the Naval Med is there,president goes for his you know,
medical treatment there.
Um, a lot of affluent people,athletes, politicians, supreme
court judges um, that's thePotomac area.
So, uh, that was my route.
(07:00):
I retired early due to aninjury and some uh, health
issues.
I have, thank God, I just gotover 9-11 related stage four of
a former cancer and I had aherniated disc from the police
department.
So I retired early.
I came back home.
I worked as a peace officer inNew York State too for a long
(07:21):
time, probably about 11 years,swarm law enforcement officer.
I helped with admin, trainingand patrol and things like that,
and so I have about 15, 16years of swarm law enforcement
experience.
Josh Porthouse (07:38):
And you said stage four, lymphoma.
Thomas Carchidi (07:40):
I had stage four lymphoma.
I had a it's crazy.
I had a big tumor in my lymphnode, my throat, my neck area,
and I had a tumor, nice sizetumor that enveloped, wrapped
around my T5 vertebrae.
My back was breaking my back,oh yeah.
So the treatment for a year anda half was, uh, absolutely
(08:01):
torturous and disgusting without, without the grace of God, my
strength.
You absolutely torturous anddisgusting without, without the
grace of God, my strength.
You know you spoke aboutearlier resilience.
I wouldn't, I wouldn't be here.
Josh Porthouse (08:11):
Wow, well, for one.
Yeah, congratulations,absolutely, thank you.
That's huge.
And, as I understand, the stagefour not to get too deep into
it, I guess, but this is likethrough multiple systems in your
body and then top half, bottomhalf of the diaphragm right.
That's what stage four means.
It's stage four.
Thomas Carchidi (08:30):
Stage four just generally means it leaves the
host wherever it is.
Say, for instance, you havelung cancer about.
For this it travels from thereto another organ, another
portion of your body.
So for it went from my lymphnode to my backbone.
So anytime it goes from oneorgan or bone or anything like
(08:53):
that to another another location, it automatically becomes stage
four.
This is the way it wasexplained to me.
Josh Porthouse (08:59):
Okay, and then attached to your bone.
Does that make it bone canceror just co-located?
Thomas Carchidi (09:06):
Once you're diagnosed with something, it's
always that.
So, since it was diagnosed aslymphoma cancer, it's still
lymphoma cancer, but thatattached to the bone.
So it's not bone cancer, it'slymphoma cancer that's spread.
Josh Porthouse (09:19):
Okay, but so what you're saying and what it
sounds like to me is even yourwhite blood cells took a hit,
not just from treatment, butalso because now they're like
everything.
Thomas Carchidi (09:29):
Everything took a hit.
The treatment I can't even so,minus surgeries, bone punctures
Like how do you just I can'teven begin.
How do you even know radiation?
I'm just million dollartreatment.
Thank God I have good insurance.
Car T cell therapy I was in thehospital for 23 days in a
(09:51):
hospital setting sick out of mymind.
Yeah, it was bad.
So spinal taps I don't know ifI said that it was brutal, bro.
It was brutal.
Josh Porthouse (10:02):
OK, well, good thing you had the mindset you
had.
I'm assuming there were somedown days, down days.
Thomas Carchidi (10:05):
There was almost two years of just
complete misery and depression.
But how could you not bemiserable and depressed like
that?
I couldn't even get off thecouch, I couldn't do anything, I
couldn't work out, my back wasbreaking.
But I'm a different, I'm alittle strange, I'm a different
animal, and that's good and bad,because the things that
(10:26):
motivate me in life mypersonality, my A-type, my faith
that's what got me through it.
But sometimes it works againstme, because sometimes I'm a
little too much.
I don't give things up, I don'tstop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, that's it worked.
It worked for me this time.
You know my family supportsystem, um, my faith and me just
(10:48):
being uh, can we talk candidlyon here?
Can we curse?
So are we allowed?
Josh Porthouse (10:53):
I mean, yeah, we can, we can beep it out, it's
fine, no, no it's all right mejust being a strong sob yeah
yeah physically and mentally.
Thomas Carchidi (11:01):
I don't have to tell you you're a military guy,
you get it.
You get it.
Um, some of us are different,right?
Josh Porthouse (11:10):
All right, folks , sit tight and we'll be right
back on Transacting Value.
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Thomas Carchidi (12:02):
I don't have to tell you you're a military guy,
you get it, you get it.
Some of us are different, right?
Josh Porthouse (12:10):
Yeah will goes a long way and I think this is
something we learned.
So most of my career has beenin the Marine Corps infantry and
active duty until about a yearago, and so for the first 14
years of my career, the onething I took from that in terms
of self-awareness, I guess, orpersonal development is that
(12:32):
your body's going to give up waybefore.
Well, sorry, your brain's goingto give up way before your body
does.
So if you can figure out a wayto push through, you're going to
be okay.
With a little bit of hope andsome faith right and maybe water
and dry socks, you're going tobe okay.
And what does that do?
You know not specific to yourdiagnosis, but in general, these
(12:52):
types of transitions like 15years as a law enforcement
officer and then you're not.
The next morning you wake upand you're not anymore and then
all of a sudden you're a cancersurvivor.
You weren't yesterday, you arethe next morning.
You know, like, what does thatdo for your identity and who you
are as a person?
How do you work through that?
Thomas Carchidi (13:12):
So I tell you Funny story to me.
Some people think it's bizarre,but this will tell you about my
personality and you'llappreciate this first thing,
before I forget, I want to thankyou for your service.
Today's Veterans Day, I want tothank all the veterans my
father, family members, friends.
Thank you for your service.
You're the real heroes in thiscountry.
That's number one.
Number two when I got out of thehospital, I was in the hospital
(13:35):
for 23 days with somethingcalled CAR T-cell therapy.
It's a new treatment they givefor this type of cancer, for
blood cancers, lymphomaleukemias.
Sick as a dog, I couldn't even.
It messes you up neurologically.
Everything.
You're sick, you're on thefloor.
I couldn't even remember myname about six, seven days in.
I couldn't make a sense.
On the 23rd day they let me out.
(13:57):
I have herniated disc from thepolice department.
I'm all jacked up.
I can't even turn to the rightanymore.
I, 3.30 in the afternoon.
They cut my catheter outsurgery, whatever they want to
call it minor surgery.
Take my catheter out.
I'm out the door.
3.30 in the afternoon I leavethe city, sloan Kettering, one
(14:22):
of the best hospitals in theworld.
7.30 at night.
That day I was in jujitsuworking out with the guys
training, because that's me andI don't know any other way.
When I'm dead gone, we all havean exploration.
When I'm gone, I'll take a nicenap, I'll relax.
(14:43):
While I'm here, I have to focuson important things.
You were asking me earlierwhat's it like?
You retire, you leave.
You have this.
If you don't focus on somethingpositive at least for me, you're
going to spiral.
You're going to go off intosomething negative mentally,
emotionally, you're going to gointo a bad place.
(15:04):
I believe everybody needssomething, everybody needs an
outlet, right, whether it's thegym.
I can't work out or trainmartial arts like I used to
because of my health issues, myinjuries.
I'm never going to be 25 again,right, but I need that.
I need to be able to help people, teach them what I know, what
I've learned.
I need to be able to competeand play a little bit with my
(15:26):
friends in there.
I need to be able to focus mymind on law school, because once
you leave the military I'm sureyou know, I hear stories from
my dad once you leave and otherpeople once you leave the police
department, like that,overnight, it's almost like you
lose a part of your entity, yourbeing like you don't know what
you're supposed to do.
You're a civilian now, ascompared to being overseas or
(15:51):
walking a foot beat in EastBaltimore, and it's a little
devastating at first.
So if you don't find outlets,things that make you happy, you
know you could definitely spiraldownward, quickly, quickly,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, some ofthat, all of that I agree with
(16:13):
entirely.
Josh Porthouse (16:14):
Some of that, I think, is because you get so
wrapped up in this process theprocedural stuff, the
administrative stuff, sure,because that's the job,
responsibilities and whateveryou're doing, right, the cops,
the firefighters, emts, militaryit's the same sort of cycle, I
think, where, after an extendedperiod of time in those types of
environments, like you said, itbecomes a part of yourself,
it's a part of your identity.
(16:36):
You can't view the world anydifferently and, I think, more
importantly, you can't undo thatwhen you don't need it anymore
either.
Right, yeah, so having anoutlet makes all the difference,
man.
I mean, that's what podcastingwas for me.
It became my therapy after awhile, just talking to people,
you know, finding a finding anoutlet, because I didn't have to
(16:56):
, I don't know, go on hikes inthe mornings anymore, go to, uh,
you know, physical training inthe mornings or fitness tests.
Well, the same routine.
It was different, but myperception hadn't changed.
I still thought I was thatperson, you know, but I wasn't
anymore.
And so, in your case, you,that's when you started jujitsu,
(17:17):
that's when you started.
Thomas Carchidi (17:19):
No, I started martial arts when I was a little
boy, eight years old.
I always I would wake upsaturday mornings, I'd watch the
cartoons and then right afterthat I don't know if you
remember, I don't know how oldyou are they used to have how
much 37.
37.
I'm 49, a little bit older.
They used to have, I think on 5, I don't even know if it was
Fox back then like Kung FuTheater, martial Arts Saturday,
(17:43):
like the ad, you know they think, the voiceovers, yeah, yeah, I
loved it, and ever since then Iwas Mom, dad, take me to karate,
take me to, you know,kickboxing, take me to jujitsu,
and it's just something I'vealways loved, you know.
Josh Porthouse (17:59):
Yeah, no, I actually do get it.
I started Taekwondo when I wasmaybe six, seven, something
about the same age.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I got, I got my thirddegree black belt and I went to
college and I enlisted and thenyou know, I shifted after that.
But uh, yeah, all sorts ofstuff.
I got uh, blue belt, brazilianjiu-jitsu and then ended up not
being able to stay in it, uh,for a while, just deployments
and you know whatever else yeah,but they have they have the
(18:22):
combatives right, like one of myfriends.
Thomas Carchidi (18:24):
actually, I don't think they do for the
marines, but my friend is a uh,I think, a combatives instructor
.
I haven't talked to him in acouple years.
Great, great guy Randy.
I used to train jiu-jitsu withhim 20 years ago.
He was combatives instructorfor the Army and he's a black
belt in jiu-jitsu and he teachesthem incredible jiu-jitsu.
So I don't know if you guyshave that in the Marines or
anything.
Josh Porthouse (18:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah , there is a combatives program
and I did it for the the whole,probably first eight years of my
career, uh, but then it wasn'tmandatory anymore and I didn't
have the outlet, because thenit's it's training, it's not
really like recreation, you know.
I mean it's, it's a differentfocus yeah so that that's when I
got into crossfit and got acoaching certification and then
(19:06):
I could compete again and bemore active and it filled the
need again.
Yeah, but I totally get whatyou're saying, with some overlap
and a little bit of guidance.
It just that, man, that is sucha powerful point that you just
made, because it gives youcontinuity in your own identity.
It gives you something to latchonto as a control and then hope
(19:27):
, purpose, faith, everythingelse that ties into it.
Thomas Carchidi (19:32):
Well, you know it's funny.
We talked about this.
I had a guy that I used to workwith the lieutenant the police
department.
He was, I think, the longestacting law officer in all of
maryland.
When he finally retired I thinkhe had 52 or 53 years on the
job.
Some guys can't let it go.
(19:52):
It's like a pro athlete.
Josh Porthouse (19:54):
Yeah.
Thomas Carchidi (19:55):
You live a certain life.
It's hard, like how do you goone day from being in the Super
Bowl or being in the WorldSeries All-Star game?
Next day your career is overand you're just I use the term
because I am one An average Joe,an everyday Joe in society.
You know you're not going to,they're still going because
(20:16):
they're athletes.
But I was going to say you'renot going to these amazing
dinners and this, and that westill are, but on a different
level, on a different level.
So everybody has to retire, soto speak.
Sooner or later.
Everybody has to give it up.
I know my time in jujitsu.
What do?
Everybody has to give it up.
I know my time in jujitsu.
What do?
I got A couple more years, I'malmost 50.
You know, if that, witheverything going on, police is
(20:37):
done, jujitsu is going to haveits day.
We all are going to have aperiod where we say enough, we
can't do it anymore, forwhatever reason health, age, you
got to find things you're intoand I think that's what helps
you cope.
Josh Porthouse (20:54):
I think that's what helps you cope.
I think, absolutely.
I totally agree, man.
Learning to let go, I think, isan important part of acceptance
, because you don't have todisassociate entirely.
I think that may be what scaresa lot of people in that idea
where my identity is going tochange at the end of my career.
I don't know what I'm going todo for sure, right, but I
certainly know I can't do thislike you just brought up.
But I think it's important alsoto remember you don't have to
(21:20):
put it all behind you, right,different now.
So what of it can you take withyou that does you some good,
that gives you some fulfillment,or whatever you know, being an
instructor, in your case, or anauthor of a book, or finding the
next challenge like going toschool.
Dude, three years of law school, I bet you've never read so
many books in your life bro andboring legalese jargon a foreign
(21:43):
language.
Thomas Carchidi (21:44):
Miserable, disgusting these are all
adjectives that I can use forlaw school.
Torturous, miserable experiencedon't do it.
Don't do it unless you preparefor mental torture.
Josh Porthouse (21:55):
Yeah yeah, well, I guess then it helps that
you're a little bit more.
What's the word hard-headed?
I am hard-headed, a little bitmore resilient yeah.
Yeah, it's a superpower man.
God bless you.
All right, folks, sit tight andwe'll be right back on
Transacting Value.
(22:17):
Join us for Transacting Value,where we discuss practical
applications of personal valuesevery Monday at 9 am on our
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wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundaysat noon on
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So from everything we've beentalking about, uh, first off, I
appreciate you being able tobreak this apart into a second
(22:38):
piece.
Make some time out of yourschedule.
I know you're busy and gotstuff going on, so, um, thanks
for coming back so we can finishout our conversation.
First of all, listen.
Thomas Carchidi (22:48):
It's great to be back.
Thanks for having me, and I waslooking forward to it.
Josh Porthouse (22:51):
I appreciate it yeah, absolutely, dude,
absolutely.
But you talked about all kindsof stuff.
I mean, we went somehow fromwhat?
Calabria, italy, to Boston,baltimore, baltimore, yep,
baltimore, yep, baltimore.
And so your experiences, man,just as a person growing through
life, what you took into beinga cop, did it help?
(23:11):
Did you have to learn as youwent?
Did you have enough you couldstand on everything?
Thomas Carchidi (23:17):
in life is always a yin and a yang.
I believe almost everything isa good and a bad right.
So, uh, I learned a lot fromworking in law enforcement.
Um, some good, some bad, youknow, um, and you laugh because
you understand.
Being in the military it'samazing.
You learn so many things copingskills, life mechanisms, right.
(23:41):
But there's also bad things.
You take out of it Spiritual,emotional, mental scars,
physical scars, personalityquirks.
So I'd say, overall, I got alot out of working in law
(24:02):
enforcement.
It helped me.
One thing I liked about you know, I kind of lump in law
enforcement and militarytogether.
You know law enforcement isquasi-military.
A lot of people that are in themilitary when they retire they
drive it to law enforcement.
You know, my instructors wereall law enforcement, pretty much
for the most part across theboard.
(24:23):
I think just my opinion and I'ma nobody, just my opinion in
this country you should eitherdo some time in the military or
do some time in a lawenforcement capacity because it
teaches you a certain way tolive, um and to conduct yourself
, and I don't have to tell you,you know exactly what I mean.
(24:46):
Uh, you know, if you don't havethat mindset, that military
demeanor that that way ofunderstanding how life can be.
Life's a lot of fun, but it canalso be very serious and very
hectic and chaotic.
If you don't understand that,you can't differentiate the two,
you're not disciplined in astrict guy, you can have a big
(25:09):
problem.
I think I'm very outgoing andcharismatic charismatic, I have
a lot of fun.
My friends die laughing whenthey're with me.
But I have another side, excuseme, when hits the fan.
There's another side and Ithink that's important for a man
in society.
(25:31):
They do so hopefully thatanswers it a little bit.
Josh Porthouse (25:35):
Yeah, yeah, but do you think that's a result,
then, of what?
Was it 15 years?
Thomas Carchidi (25:41):
So law enforcement yeah, police and
peace officer about 15 yearssworn.
So I would say that lawenforcement helped turn me into
that type of person, but I hadit in me.
You know, I was very uh, I wasdifferent when I was a kid.
I was very timid.
(26:01):
I was more uh, green behind theears.
You know, I came from a greatfamily.
Um, I was protected and, uh, asI got older I changed because I
saw things were very, verydifficult in this world and it
can be very harsh at times.
A lot of people don't like toadmit it, but I'm a realist, I'm
(26:22):
not an optimist.
I'm not a pessimist, I'm arealist.
So I started working out, goingto martial arts, becoming more
disciplined, going down the lawenforcement road, that route
College, graduate school, lawschool, trying to be more of a
disciplined guy and more of aserious guy.
(26:42):
And when it's time to have fun,you have fun.
But I definitely believe in aserious mentality.
As far as a man, mygrandfather's old school kind of
race, very serious, loving guy,but very serious guy.
My godfather, my uncle veryserious guy.
My other uncle, who's like afather to me.
(27:03):
My aunt's husband from SicilyVery serious, fun guys, but very
serious.
So I kind of have a mix.
That's how I live my life.
Josh Porthouse (27:13):
What has it done for you, though?
I mean, do you find, inhindsight maybe, or at present
maybe, that that causes more Idon't know conflict in your
relationships then?
Or does it help?
It's funny.
Thomas Carchidi (27:28):
It's also a fine line, a strange dynamic
right.
We don't really know where thatgreat line in the sand lies
with certain things.
Josh Porthouse (27:38):
Yeah.
Thomas Carchidi (27:41):
I'll try to make an example.
Every relationship is different.
I'm heterosexual, so everyonethat I'm with is different
relationship.
Every friend of mine is adifferent relationship.
You can't really take everybodyand treat them equally, so to
speak.
Everyone's equal as a human,but everybody has a different
personality.
So some people love me, theylove my personality, they get it
(28:04):
.
My friends and family they getit, they accept it.
You know I'm more of a pit bull.
I have the traits of a pit bull.
You know that's what my familycalls me Fun loving, smart, you
know, athletic.
And then another side ofsomething is to occur and I
think that's good because I'mprotective, I'm loving, I'm a
(28:26):
good man, I'm a God fearingChristian and I think, like I
said, either you love me or youhate me.
You know some people, you know,leave that guy alone, he's a
little nutty, or, you know, he'snot my type of person.
And then I have friends allover the place that love me.
I'm going out with friends alittle later, so it just depends
.
You know, some people find,let's be honest some people find
(28:48):
alpha guys like us I'm sureyou're an alpha, you're in the
military.
They find this a little scarymartial art people, until they
get to know you, then theyrealize that guy's a big teddy
bear.
Unless you know, somethingreally goes wrong and things go
south.
Something really goes wrong andthings go south.
Then I guess you could see adifferent side.
But I think that's important inlife and being a good person
(29:09):
and being able to live in yourenvironment, to be able to
decipher and take yourself outof it.
You, for example, you come outof the military.
I have friends that are onactive duty, this and that
Friends that work in the worstneighborhoods in America.
It's hard to turn that offright.
(29:29):
You're, you're in a war zone,you're in a battle zone, and
then you come home and you'resupposed to be like, just I
don't know.
I don't know exactly whatyou're supposed to be, but they
want you.
That's what I was gonna askyeah because we at least.
Josh Porthouse (29:40):
Well, that's what I was going to say we at
least have this line.
I mean, it's an ocean in mostcases.
Yes, you know we're notoperating domestically.
You guys have an intersectionRight and then you go home.
Thomas Carchidi (29:54):
Right.
Josh Porthouse (29:55):
That changes everything, in my opinion.
You know, we've got aseven-hour flight to decompress
or whatever.
You've got a seven-minute drive, right?
That's not the same right?
So yeah, how do you unpack that?
How do you work to develop theswitch?
Thomas Carchidi (30:16):
I have to have outlets.
I have to, otherwise I think weall do.
I think we spoke about thislast time, this last time
briefly.
For instance, I read so muchlegal jargon, legalese, from law
school, it's like maddening.
I have to read a comic booksometimes, I have to read some
silly fiction, I have to go seea movie, go out to dinner, train
(30:38):
martial arts with my buddies.
I have to do something.
There has to be an outlet.
Otherwise, if know, if you havea family, that's great, hang
out with your kid.
There has to be something.
If you make everything everymoment, the job, the job, the
job you know, like either in themilitary, in police, anything,
a stockbroker, a lawyer, I thinkit's going to mess with you.
(31:01):
I really do, and especially intraumatic situations, jobs like
we have.
We see the worst, right, we seethe worst, we see the most
violent.
You know it's crazy the thingswe see.
So you need an outlet to kindof get you away from that.
And I definitely have outlets,a hundred percent.
Josh Porthouse (31:24):
Yeah.
Well, and then you also createdthem.
I mean, you wrote a book.
Yes, a Life in Law Enforcement,right?
Let's talk about your book.
Yes, sir, are you a journaler?
Do you normally write stuff?
Thomas Carchidi (31:37):
No, no, no.
So it's crazy.
I keep a little what do youcall?
A pen and then I write notesevery night before I go to sleep
, my thoughts.
I've done it since I was inprobably 19, but I never wrote a
book, nothing like that.
Just one day I was talking to,uh, a girl I was dating at the
time and she just asked me aboutwork and this and that.
(31:59):
And I'm like, if you could onlylike, if you can only get in my
mind, like, really get in mymind the X-Men, what was the one
of my favorite?
I told you I'm a comic bookProfessor X, professor X man.
If you could get in my brainyou know, yoda, see what I'm
thinking, you would understand.
(32:20):
Like it's so hard.
What am I going to sit here for10 hours and tell you all the
things I saw, all the thingsthat go on other cops see.
So I said you know what I think?
I'd like to write a book.
I had no idea.
I had no idea how to do it.
I taught myself everything andone day I just said I'm going to
(32:40):
start writing notes.
This one time on the block 400East Baltimore Street, which was
similar to Times Square back inthe 80s, you know, strip joints
, clubs, drugs, prostitutes,guns.
Just going to write whathappened this one night, when
you know we got to there was ashooting and you know I just
(33:01):
started putting things, say pento pad but there is no more of
that for me on the computer,just started writing and uh,
next thing I know I have like400, 500 pages of just craziness
and uh, that's, that's prettymuch how it came about and then
I had to edit it.
I had help from people, some ofmy friends helped me with the
(33:22):
editing process and that'sreally how it just came about,
man.
Josh Porthouse (33:28):
Wow, yeah, okay, so this is I mean specifically,
it says a life in lawenforcement, a police memoir.
And then you're talking aboutwhat does it say?
The good, the bad and the ugly.
The good, yeah, the good, thebad and the ugly.
Thomas Carchidi (33:44):
Yep, so this isn't just like lessons I've
learned.
This isn't just like a workbookto help people journal.
No, this is like authentic downon the street beat cop
experience.
Yes, we've seen it all before,right, so you're not going to be
shocked in the sense like youcan't believe these things go on
(34:07):
, but you're going to be shockedat the stories that I present
specifically.
You're going to be like whatthe it's nuts it.
But the thing is you can't makethis up.
It's all documented witnessstatements, court cases, cases,
police reports, movies, books,news articles, media and when
(34:31):
you look back at this 600citations I'm just throwing a
number out there in my bookdocuments when you look at this
and you're like this is crazy.
This is such good things lawenforcement does and this is
such nuts crazy things that goeson in law enforcement every day
.
And it's like this back andforth.
(34:51):
And really, if anybody isinterested in, like true crime,
learning about law enforcement,really learning about it, the
good and the bad, if you areinterested in that career, you
should read it and see what goeson, because it's going to help
you make a decision one way oranother.
Josh Porthouse (35:11):
Is this specific to Baltimore?
Specific to New York?
Where is it at?
Thomas Carchidi (35:16):
I started I was a police officer in Baltimore.
Then I transferred out toMontgomery County, maryland,
which is a suburb of DC insideMaryland, on the Maryland side.
Then I came back home and Iworked as a strong peace officer
for 10, 11 years in Brooklyn.
So it's Seagate PoliceDepartment, so it's all over the
place.
Like I tell different storiesfrom different places and I
(35:39):
changed some of the names, thelocales.
I don't ever want to callanybody out.
My book is not to pinpointanybody, get anybody in the hot
seat, jam them up.
My book is just to tell mystory and the general story.
The only people I name in mybook are the people that gave me
permission to do good things.
Everybody else I don't name andI kind of change details and
(36:01):
even places I worked at, eventhough I'm allowed to mention
them legally.
Civilly I don't, because I'mnot looking to get anybody
jammed up.
That's not me.
I wasn't raised that way.
I just want to tell a story.
Josh Porthouse (36:12):
you know All right, folks sit tight and we'll
be right back on TransactingValue.
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Thomas Carchidi (37:20):
And even places I worked at, even though I'm
allowed to mention them legally,civilly I don't, Because I'm
not looking to get anybodyjammed up.
That's not me.
I wasn't raised that way.
I just want to tell a story,you know.
Josh Porthouse (37:32):
Yeah, that's very interesting.
Well, so what is all of thisactually done for you?
And I don't mean like in termsof monetizing the book, I mean
it's the process, the writing,the putting it on paper, the
thinking through a bit moredeliberately the experiences
from then to now.
What has it?
Thomas Carchidi (37:48):
done for you.
It's done a lot.
I mean mentally.
I'm a lot sharper.
You know like the more youlearn, the more you do.
It keeps your mind good, itkeeps your mind focused.
I'm sharp mentally, you knowI'm sharper than I was.
All these things help out.
It's like building blocks.
You know college, high school,college, graduate school, law
(38:10):
school, book writing.
It helps you learn and become,you know, smarter at certain
things, that type of work.
Right, it's not going to help mewith being an engineer or a
bricklayer, but the type of way,the way my brain thinks and
works and the way I live my life, it makes me better at what I
do.
Also, like I said, I have athicker skin because a lot of
(38:33):
what I went through, you know Idon't really care anymore.
Meaning like somebody can saysomething and whatever man like
it, just it makes you stronger.
My thing is, and I trulybelieve this whatever doesn't
kill you in life only makes youstronger.
Sometimes you've got to becareful because it might not
(38:55):
kill you physically but it couldbreak you mentally.
That's not good.
You don't want to push yourselftoo far.
Military police we see awfulthings, we go through awful
things, but I do believe.
The more we we persevere inlife, the more we go through,
the stronger we are.
I'm not really fearful of toomuch, hardly anything like.
I'm not.
I've seen too much, I've beenthrough too much.
(39:16):
You know, stage four cancer,what could it be?
East baltimore people throwingsinks off the roof at me,
shooting at like, I don't.
I don't fear normal things thatnormal people would.
So that helped me in that sense.
But in another sense it kind ofdesensitized me.
I'm very, very numb, I'm veryhardened.
The martial arts also good andbad.
(39:37):
Years of pounding, pounding,pounding my body.
It's hard, compared to otherpeople it's like a piece of wood
, it's like steel sometimes youknow.
But at what price?
You're desensitizing yourselfmentally, physically.
So I don't know.
Is it good to me in my life?
It's good some other people itmight not be good for living
(39:59):
that lifestyle.
Josh Porthouse (40:01):
Yeah sure, well, that was the other thing I was
wondering the impact, then, ofdesensitizing through the
process, working through stuff,getting to a point where you can
either make sense of it orcommunicate it or do something
with it better, right, I mean,is it still the same, I guess,
experience finding appreciationin some little things, or do you
(40:22):
find you tend to more look pastlittle things?
Thomas Carchidi (40:26):
so I'm not gonna lie to you and this is a
conversation I just had with afamily member the other day and
a couple friends I do find, nowthat I'm older, for a long time
I didn't appreciate the smallthings, I didn't, and I became
numb, like desensitized toalmost everything.
I got like little to nopleasure out of out of things I
(40:49):
used to love, yeah, and thencancer hit and I literally was
in a hospital or at home, backbreaking.
My back was breaking.
I had a tumor on my back, tumormy throat, chemo, radiation,
spinal taps, bone punctures,this that surgery to put in uh
(41:11):
ports, horrible, horrible, likeuh, torture, really torture, and
uh, I think after that thingschanged a little bit.
Like now I look forward to more.
After this I I'm going to gohelp my friend, I'm going to go
probably teach jujitsu for alittle bit, teach some
(41:32):
techniques.
I love when people learn.
Then I might go out with myfriend afterwards for a bite, go
to a movie.
Small things, they're verysimple.
I get pleasure out of that.
I get more pleasure now becauseI know life is so short and,
(41:52):
yeah, I think for a while I kindof lost my way, but I think in
a strange, weird way, the cancerthing kind of put things in
perspective a little bit for me.
Josh Porthouse (42:02):
Yeah, it's interesting too.
A lot of the the time,regardless of what the cause is,
I think, at least in myexperience and perception
whatever it is that gets us to abottom shows us everything else
, because the light shinesthrough, you know.
I mean you're looking up fromthe bottom, you can see
everything.
Yeah, when you're looking downinto the water, it gets dark
(42:23):
fast and you don't know what'sdown there, how you're going to
react.
So there's something to be saidfor diving a bit deeper into
humanity, or hanging out on thestreet and to whatever reason
you got to be there, and thenrecovering through the trauma,
through the chaos, learning toprocess, finding an outlet.
I love what you've created as amessage, as an example, as a
(42:45):
process, and I don't know towhat extent that's influencing
your family and friends there,but you're global now, so it's
anybody's guess.
The impact that that's going tohave.
My theory is some prettyprofound insight, though is
going to make a very bigdifference for some people and a
(43:06):
very small difference forothers, but it makes all the
difference to everybody, puttingit out there in the first place
.
So I appreciate what you'vedone, man, putting it on paper,
a willingness and avulnerability to talk about it,
to process it and just to takethe action of doing it.
I appreciate it, in case nobodyelse tells you.
Thomas Carchidi (43:23):
Well, listen, I really appreciate your time,
words and positivity you share.
Thank you so much.
Josh Porthouse (43:31):
Yeah, man, absolutely.
And also thanks for your time.
I know it's the evening, I'msure you're ready to go get
dinner, but thanks for makingsome time to come back and talk
a little bit.
Thomas Carchidi (43:39):
Anytime, I'd love to do it another time.
We can do it on another topic.
Anything you want, I love it.
Josh Porthouse (43:44):
Absolutely.
I'm totally down to talk to yousome more, man, but for right
now, for the sake of time, Ireally only have one other
question for you, please.
Of all the things you'veexperienced, the beatdowns that
you put on yourself, mentally,emotionally, behaviorally,
(44:07):
distancing from people,physically recovering through
all your stuff, your experiencesbeing on the force, working
through all these things withyour family and friends and now
looking back, what's it all donefor you to actually instigate
your sense of self-worth?
Thomas Carchidi (44:17):
That's a very good question.
We could talk for hours.
I'm going to try to put it in abox for you.
I think everything the good andthe bad has taught me Me
specifically Never let peopleput me down.
There's a lot of people outthere that have big egos and big
(44:37):
mouths, a false sense ofreality, delusion.
They don't do anything and theyclaim to be superheroes.
I don't claim to be much, butin reality I know I've done a
lot.
There's a huge difference andat the end of the day I I
absolutely believe without god Iwouldn't be here.
There's something bigger.
(44:59):
Um, there's no way.
There's no way this will happenby accident.
There's something bigger.
I believe people can believewhat they want.
I have my own personalexperiences.
That's another story foranother time.
But one day we're going to meetour maker.
We're going to have to presentour life and accomplishments to
him and I definitely believe itdoesn't matter if you're a pizza
(45:23):
man, carpenter, plumber.
It doesn't matter if you're apizza man, carpenter, plumber,
it doesn't matter what you dolawyer, doctor, infantryman, cop
, doesn't matter.
Do it the best you can and dothe best you can with your
abilities that God gave you andgive it back to him.
That's how I live my life and Ithink that's how I want to be
(45:44):
known.
And, uh, I think that's how Iwant to be known.
And the question to be morespecific, I think I'm at a point
in my life where I know myworth.
Even if I don't ever doanything again for the rest of
my life, I know I've lived agood life and I I don't allow
people to bring me down, to putme down.
I keep my head up.
The only way you can do that isreally by being somebody and
(46:06):
doing the best you can.
So it all comes.
It's intertwined.
See what I'm saying.
Josh Porthouse (46:12):
Yeah, I couldn't phrase it any better, dude.
I think you summed it up verywell, and so, for everybody
that's listened to ourconversation or watched it in
this case, I hope you guys gotsomething out of it as well.
I hope you had an awesome timewatching the conversation unfold
and listening to Tommy and hisperspective, because, unless I'm
(46:33):
wrong, this is one of the firstfew times you've actually
digitized your perspectiveoutside of your book, right?
Thomas Carchidi (46:40):
Yeah, just a couple.
I did one or two interviews,but this is really in-depth.
Yes.
Josh Porthouse (46:45):
Yeah, just a couple.
I did one or two interviews,but this is really in-depth.
Yes, well, I'm honored to be apart of your journey, man, and I
hope you consider doing moredown the road or come back and
talk to us.
But again, thank you for yourperspective.
Thank you for your time.
Everybody else, head over toour website,
transactingvaluepodcastcom.
Check out all our otherconversations.
Here's one thing that you maynot find too many other places
that I'd like you to check outOn the homepage, in the top
(47:07):
right corner, is a button thatsays leave a voicemail.
Click the button.
Two minutes Talk time's allyours.
Here's my recommendation.
One, let us know what you thinkof the show.
Let us know your feedback.
Let us know if you want to helpcontribute time, money, talent,
insight.
Know somebody that wants tocome on the show, tell us about
it.
Leave the voicemail.
But two, tell Tommy what youthink about it.
(47:27):
Get his book, track it down,read it this conversation,
listen to it and leave avoicemail.
Give him some feedback, becausethat's how we all develop and
grow through life separately,together.
So you've got all sorts ofopportunities and, tommy, I
don't want to miss this oneAnybody who wants to buy your
book.
You've got all sorts ofopportunities and, tommy, I
don't want to miss this one.
Thomas Carchidi (47:47):
Anybody who wants to buy your book, track
down some of your insights.
Where do they go?
So real, simple life in lawenforcement police memoir.
The good, the bad, the corrupt.
It's all over.
You can go to book baby, go toamazoncom, go to Barnes and
Noble.
Just Google Tommy Carchidi, alife in law enforcement.
It'll pop right up.
And if you don't mind, I justwant to say one last thing.
My buddy, he was a policeofficer.
(48:09):
He's retired.
He switched over and retiredfrom the fire department.
We got some upsetting news.
His mom has serious, seriouscancer and I just wanted to give
him a shout out.
My buddy Eddie and his mom.
Josh Porthouse (48:27):
So God bless to them and people out there that
are watching to say prayer forMs Rousseau.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Thanks for putting it out.
Thank you, my friend,definitely, and for right now,
that's all the time we've got onTransacting Value.
I thank you again for tuning in.
Track us down on Facebook,youtube, linkedin, reads Across
America Radio and until nexttime, that was Transacting Value
(48:48):
.
Thank you to our show partnersand folks.
Thank you for tuning in andappreciating our value as we all
grow through life together.
To check out our otherconversations or even to
contribute through feedback,follows, time, money or talent,
and to let us know what youthink of the show, please leave
(49:11):
a review on our website,transactingvaluepodcastcom.
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Head to wreathsacrossamericaorg.
Slash transactingvalue tosponsor a wreath and remember,
(49:34):
honor and teach the value offreedom for future generations
On behalf of our team and ourglobal ambassadors, as you all
strive to establish clarity andpurpose, ensure social
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We will continue instigatingself-worth, and we'll meet you
(49:55):
there.
Until next time, that wasTransacting Value.
The views expressed in this podcast are
solely those of the podcast hostand guest and do not
necessarily represent those ofour distribution partners,
supporting businessrelationships or supported
audience.
Welcome to Transacting Value,where we talk about practical
(00:22):
applications for instigatingself-worth when dealing with
each other and even withinourselves, where we foster a
podcast listening experiencethat lets you hear the power of
a value system for managingburnout, establishing boundaries
, fostering community andfinding identity.
My name is Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and we are redefining
sovereignty of character.
(00:42):
This is why values still holdvalue.
This is Transacting Value.
Thomas Carchidi (00:50):
Carpenter, plumber, doesn't matter what you
do Lawyer, doctor, infantryman,cop, doesn't matter.
Do it the best you can, and dothe best you can with your
abilities that God gave you andgive it back to him.
That's how I live my life.
Josh Porthouse (01:07):
Today on Transacting Value.
Who do you become when yourbaseline is crime and corruption
?
In fact, after a life withcrime and violence and the
gritty reality that police workcan be, even your options might
seem slim.
Well, today on the show, theauthor of A Life in Law
Enforcement, a police memoir,the good, the bad and the
(01:29):
corrupt and retired lawenforcement officer out of Long
Island, new York, tom Karkiti,is here and he's going to set
the record straight.
Folks, I'm Josh Porthouse, I'myour host and from SDYT Media,
this is Transacting Value, tom.
What's up, man?
How you doing?
Thomas Carchidi (01:44):
How you doing, josh, thanks for having me.
My, uh, my pleasure.
Thanks for inviting me on theshow.
Josh Porthouse (01:49):
Absolutely and honestly man with a career like
yours and a book like yours, Ifigure you you should be like
the, the commissioner Gordon inthe entire Batman series.
You know what I mean.
Like your story seems like.
It's so crazy to me that it wasjust the only piece missing was
Batman.
What?
What is this like?
(02:09):
Let's start at the beginning.
How about this?
Let's ground it a little bitfor everybody who is just tuning
into the conversation.
How about we start here?
Who are you All right, whereare you from and what sort of
things have actually shaped yourperspective on life?
Thomas Carchidi (02:23):
I'm an only child of two Italian immigrants
off the boat, as we call it,from Calabria, italy.
They came in the 50s, off theboat, moved to Brooklyn.
I was born in Brooklyn when Iwas a kid, lived there for a
couple of years, moved out toLong Island, been always young,
but always back and forthbecause I had family there,
italian-american family, veryimportant.
(02:44):
My heritage, you knowChristianity.
Italian and Christianity gotogether hand in hand.
But my parents also wanted meto, you know, be indoctrinated
into the American culture.
They wanted me to be anAmerican.
You know the American dream.
So that's basically where itstarts.
I was always an athletic kid.
(03:05):
I always loved sports, martialarts.
I started martial arts when Iwas a little boy.
All the way up, you know it'sone of my loves.
I'm an American combat karate,full contact karate, black belt
or Brazilian jiu-jitsu, blackbelt.
Um, you know I love teaching, Ilove helping people, giving
back to the community and, uh, Iguess that's a good starting
(03:27):
point.
You know I went to high school,college, grade school, catholic
school for eight years, publichigh school, plain Edge High
School.
Then I went to college, cityUniversity, new York, john Jay
College, undergrad, long IslandUniversity, CW Post for my
master's and now I'm in my thirdyearyear law school, hopefully
studying to be an attorney.
Um, yeah, man.
(03:47):
So that that's a basic, genericstart for me.
Uh, just to give you an ideaabout myself, some pedigree info
unbelievable.
Josh Porthouse (03:57):
What a start.
Okay, so the american dream,all things considered as an
immigrant family not to getpolitical about it, but you know
, just for a frame of referenceas an immigrant family coming in
in the 50s, what does theAmerican dream get qualified as?
How is that defined?
Thomas Carchidi (04:15):
A lot different than it does now.
A lot different than it doesnow.
I don't like to compare myparents or a group of people to
any other group, um, becauseeverybody has their own
experiences and almost everygroup has been persecuted at
some time or another.
But Italians had a hard waywhen they came here, you know,
they really did.
Um, it was written in newspaperfor everyone to see.
(04:38):
There was advertisements thisjob, that job, no Italians need
apply.
I mean, yeah, you can't makethis up, you still?
You know newspaper clippings.
Um, yeah, my mom and dad wouldnever give it anything.
My mom came here.
She started working when shewas 15.
She rose her way up the ranksat, uh, I believe it was
beltlantic, then 9x or viceversa, then all the way up to
(05:01):
verizon.
Um, she, she was a managerthere for 35 years.
She retired.
My father when he first came toAmerica he was going to night
school and working all day as amechanic with his father at a
car shop, auto body and mechanicgarage.
And shortly after he came toAmerica he was drafted during
(05:25):
the vietnam war so uh, it was noeasy.
There was no easy route, easyway out for them.
You know, when they came here,they, they worked for everything
.
They had nothing when they camehere.
And now you know, yeah house inlong island, house of state,
you know, vacation home.
They worked hard, they did theright thing and, uh, my parents
(05:45):
really did live the Americandream and I benefited from it,
thank God.
Josh Porthouse (05:49):
Yeah, absolutely .
And that's only in onegeneration.
One generation, dude.
That's crazy.
I can only imagine that someaspect of that stubbornness and
resilience and family attitudeit had to get transferred over.
It doesn't fall that far thatquick.
You know what I mean?
100 percent, 100, geez, yeah,unbelievable.
(06:11):
And then okay, so you, you madeyour career as a cop.
With what nypd, what, what didyou know?
Thomas Carchidi (06:18):
no, so after college and graduate school I
moved down to maryland.
I was a police officer inBaltimore.
I did a couple of years thereand a lot of transferred out.
I went to Montgomery County,which I retired from.
Montgomery County, montgomeryCounty, maryland it's a suburb
in Maryland right on the DCborder.
(06:39):
It's a lot of affluent places.
It has the Naval Med is there,president goes for his you know,
medical treatment there.
Um, a lot of affluent people,athletes, politicians, supreme
court judges um, that's thePotomac area.
So, uh, that was my route.
(07:00):
I retired early due to aninjury and some uh, health
issues.
I have, thank God, I just gotover 9-11 related stage four of
a former cancer and I had aherniated disc from the police
department.
So I retired early.
I came back home.
I worked as a peace officer inNew York State too for a long
(07:21):
time, probably about 11 years,swarm law enforcement officer.
I helped with admin, trainingand patrol and things like that,
and so I have about 15, 16years of swarm law enforcement
experience.
Josh Porthouse (07:38):
And you said stage four, lymphoma.
Thomas Carchidi (07:40):
I had stage four lymphoma.
I had a it's crazy.
I had a big tumor in my lymphnode, my throat, my neck area,
and I had a tumor, nice sizetumor that enveloped, wrapped
around my T5 vertebrae.
My back was breaking my back,oh yeah.
So the treatment for a year anda half was, uh, absolutely
(08:01):
torturous and disgusting without, without the grace of God, my
strength.
You absolutely torturous anddisgusting without, without the
grace of God, my strength.
You know you spoke aboutearlier resilience.
I wouldn't, I wouldn't be here.
Josh Porthouse (08:11):
Wow, well, for one.
Yeah, congratulations,absolutely, thank you.
That's huge.
And, as I understand, the stagefour not to get too deep into
it, I guess, but this is likethrough multiple systems in your
body and then top half, bottomhalf of the diaphragm right.
That's what stage four means.
It's stage four.
Thomas Carchidi (08:30):
Stage four just generally means it leaves the
host wherever it is.
Say, for instance, you havelung cancer about.
For this it travels from thereto another organ, another
portion of your body.
So for it went from my lymphnode to my backbone.
So anytime it goes from oneorgan or bone or anything like
(08:53):
that to another another location, it automatically becomes stage
four.
This is the way it wasexplained to me.
Josh Porthouse (08:59):
Okay, and then attached to your bone.
Does that make it bone canceror just co-located?
Thomas Carchidi (09:06):
Once you're diagnosed with something, it's
always that.
So, since it was diagnosed aslymphoma cancer, it's still
lymphoma cancer, but thatattached to the bone.
So it's not bone cancer, it'slymphoma cancer that's spread.
Josh Porthouse (09:19):
Okay, but so what you're saying and what it
sounds like to me is even yourwhite blood cells took a hit,
not just from treatment, butalso because now they're like
everything.
Thomas Carchidi (09:29):
Everything took a hit.
The treatment I can't even so,minus surgeries, bone punctures
Like how do you just I can'teven begin.
How do you even know radiation?
I'm just million dollartreatment.
Thank God I have good insurance.
Car T cell therapy I was in thehospital for 23 days in a
(09:51):
hospital setting sick out of mymind.
Yeah, it was bad.
So spinal taps I don't know ifI said that it was brutal, bro.
It was brutal.
Josh Porthouse (10:02):
OK, well, good thing you had the mindset you
had.
I'm assuming there were somedown days, down days.
Thomas Carchidi (10:05):
There was almost two years of just
complete misery and depression.
But how could you not bemiserable and depressed like
that?
I couldn't even get off thecouch, I couldn't do anything, I
couldn't work out, my back wasbreaking.
But I'm a different, I'm alittle strange, I'm a different
animal, and that's good and bad,because the things that
(10:26):
motivate me in life mypersonality, my A-type, my faith
that's what got me through it.
But sometimes it works againstme, because sometimes I'm a
little too much.
I don't give things up, I don'tstop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, that's it worked.
It worked for me this time.
You know my family supportsystem, um, my faith and me just
(10:48):
being uh, can we talk candidlyon here?
Can we curse?
So are we allowed?
Josh Porthouse (10:53):
I mean, yeah, we can, we can beep it out, it's
fine, no, no it's all right mejust being a strong sob yeah
yeah physically and mentally.
Thomas Carchidi (11:01):
I don't have to tell you you're a military guy,
you get it.
You get it.
Um, some of us are different,right?
Josh Porthouse (11:10):
All right, folks , sit tight and we'll be right
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Thomas Carchidi (12:02):
I don't have to tell you you're a military guy,
you get it, you get it.
Some of us are different, right?
Josh Porthouse (12:10):
Yeah will goes a long way and I think this is
something we learned.
So most of my career has beenin the Marine Corps infantry and
active duty until about a yearago, and so for the first 14
years of my career, the onething I took from that in terms
of self-awareness, I guess, orpersonal development is that
(12:32):
your body's going to give up waybefore.
Well, sorry, your brain's goingto give up way before your body
does.
So if you can figure out a wayto push through, you're going to
be okay.
With a little bit of hope andsome faith right and maybe water
and dry socks, you're going tobe okay.
And what does that do?
You know not specific to yourdiagnosis, but in general, these
(12:52):
types of transitions like 15years as a law enforcement
officer and then you're not.
The next morning you wake upand you're not anymore and then
all of a sudden you're a cancersurvivor.
You weren't yesterday, you arethe next morning.
You know, like, what does thatdo for your identity and who you
are as a person?
How do you work through that?
Thomas Carchidi (13:12):
So I tell you Funny story to me.
Some people think it's bizarre,but this will tell you about my
personality and you'llappreciate this first thing,
before I forget, I want to thankyou for your service.
Today's Veterans Day, I want tothank all the veterans my
father, family members, friends.
Thank you for your service.
You're the real heroes in thiscountry.
That's number one.
Number two when I got out of thehospital, I was in the hospital
(13:35):
for 23 days with somethingcalled CAR T-cell therapy.
It's a new treatment they givefor this type of cancer, for
blood cancers, lymphomaleukemias.
Sick as a dog, I couldn't even.
It messes you up neurologically.
Everything.
You're sick, you're on thefloor.
I couldn't even remember myname about six, seven days in.
I couldn't make a sense.
On the 23rd day they let me out.
(13:57):
I have herniated disc from thepolice department.
I'm all jacked up.
I can't even turn to the rightanymore.
I, 3.30 in the afternoon.
They cut my catheter outsurgery, whatever they want to
call it minor surgery.
Take my catheter out.
I'm out the door.
3.30 in the afternoon I leavethe city, sloan Kettering, one
(14:22):
of the best hospitals in theworld.
7.30 at night.
That day I was in jujitsuworking out with the guys
training, because that's me andI don't know any other way.
When I'm dead gone, we all havean exploration.
When I'm gone, I'll take a nicenap, I'll relax.
(14:43):
While I'm here, I have to focuson important things.
You were asking me earlierwhat's it like?
You retire, you leave.
You have this.
If you don't focus on somethingpositive at least for me, you're
going to spiral.
You're going to go off intosomething negative mentally,
emotionally, you're going to gointo a bad place.
(15:04):
I believe everybody needssomething, everybody needs an
outlet, right, whether it's thegym.
I can't work out or trainmartial arts like I used to
because of my health issues, myinjuries.
I'm never going to be 25 again,right, but I need that.
I need to be able to help people, teach them what I know, what
I've learned.
I need to be able to competeand play a little bit with my
(15:26):
friends in there.
I need to be able to focus mymind on law school, because once
you leave the military I'm sureyou know, I hear stories from
my dad once you leave and otherpeople once you leave the police
department, like that,overnight, it's almost like you
lose a part of your entity, yourbeing like you don't know what
you're supposed to do.
You're a civilian now, ascompared to being overseas or
(15:51):
walking a foot beat in EastBaltimore, and it's a little
devastating at first.
So if you don't find outlets,things that make you happy, you
know you could definitely spiraldownward, quickly, quickly,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, some ofthat, all of that I agree with
(16:13):
entirely.
Josh Porthouse (16:14):
Some of that, I think, is because you get so
wrapped up in this process theprocedural stuff, the
administrative stuff, sure,because that's the job,
responsibilities and whateveryou're doing, right, the cops,
the firefighters, emts, militaryit's the same sort of cycle, I
think, where, after an extendedperiod of time in those types of
environments, like you said, itbecomes a part of yourself,
it's a part of your identity.
(16:36):
You can't view the world anydifferently and, I think, more
importantly, you can't undo thatwhen you don't need it anymore
either.
Right, yeah, so having anoutlet makes all the difference,
man.
I mean, that's what podcastingwas for me.
It became my therapy after awhile, just talking to people,
you know, finding a finding anoutlet, because I didn't have to
(16:56):
, I don't know, go on hikes inthe mornings anymore, go to, uh,
you know, physical training inthe mornings or fitness tests.
Well, the same routine.
It was different, but myperception hadn't changed.
I still thought I was thatperson, you know, but I wasn't
anymore.
And so, in your case, you,that's when you started jujitsu,
(17:17):
that's when you started.
Thomas Carchidi (17:19):
No, I started martial arts when I was a little
boy, eight years old.
I always I would wake upsaturday mornings, I'd watch the
cartoons and then right afterthat I don't know if you
remember, I don't know how oldyou are they used to have how
much 37.
37.
I'm 49, a little bit older.
They used to have, I think on 5, I don't even know if it was
Fox back then like Kung FuTheater, martial Arts Saturday,
(17:43):
like the ad, you know they think, the voiceovers, yeah, yeah, I
loved it, and ever since then Iwas Mom, dad, take me to karate,
take me to, you know,kickboxing, take me to jujitsu,
and it's just something I'vealways loved, you know.
Josh Porthouse (17:59):
Yeah, no, I actually do get it.
I started Taekwondo when I wasmaybe six, seven, something
about the same age.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I got, I got my thirddegree black belt and I went to
college and I enlisted and thenyou know, I shifted after that.
But uh, yeah, all sorts ofstuff.
I got uh, blue belt, brazilianjiu-jitsu and then ended up not
being able to stay in it, uh,for a while, just deployments
and you know whatever else yeah,but they have they have the
(18:22):
combatives right, like one of myfriends.
Thomas Carchidi (18:24):
actually, I don't think they do for the
marines, but my friend is a uh,I think, a combatives instructor
.
I haven't talked to him in acouple years.
Great, great guy Randy.
I used to train jiu-jitsu withhim 20 years ago.
He was combatives instructorfor the Army and he's a black
belt in jiu-jitsu and he teachesthem incredible jiu-jitsu.
So I don't know if you guyshave that in the Marines or
anything.
Josh Porthouse (18:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah , there is a combatives program
and I did it for the the whole,probably first eight years of my
career, uh, but then it wasn'tmandatory anymore and I didn't
have the outlet, because thenit's it's training, it's not
really like recreation, you know.
I mean it's, it's a differentfocus yeah so that that's when I
got into crossfit and got acoaching certification and then
(19:06):
I could compete again and bemore active and it filled the
need again.
Yeah, but I totally get whatyou're saying, with some overlap
and a little bit of guidance.
It just that, man, that is sucha powerful point that you just
made, because it gives youcontinuity in your own identity.
It gives you something to latchonto as a control and then hope
(19:27):
, purpose, faith, everythingelse that ties into it.
Thomas Carchidi (19:32):
Well, you know it's funny.
We talked about this.
I had a guy that I used to workwith the lieutenant the police
department.
He was, I think, the longestacting law officer in all of
maryland.
When he finally retired I thinkhe had 52 or 53 years on the
job.
Some guys can't let it go.
(19:52):
It's like a pro athlete.
Josh Porthouse (19:54):
Yeah.
Thomas Carchidi (19:55):
You live a certain life.
It's hard, like how do you goone day from being in the Super
Bowl or being in the WorldSeries All-Star game?
Next day your career is overand you're just I use the term
because I am one An average Joe,an everyday Joe in society.
You know you're not going to,they're still going because
(20:16):
they're athletes.
But I was going to say you'renot going to these amazing
dinners and this, and that westill are, but on a different
level, on a different level.
So everybody has to retire, soto speak.
Sooner or later.
Everybody has to give it up.
I know my time in jujitsu.
What do?
Everybody has to give it up.
I know my time in jujitsu.
What do?
I got A couple more years, I'malmost 50.
You know, if that, witheverything going on, police is
(20:37):
done, jujitsu is going to haveits day.
We all are going to have aperiod where we say enough, we
can't do it anymore, forwhatever reason health, age, you
got to find things you're intoand I think that's what helps
you cope.
Josh Porthouse (20:54):
I think that's what helps you cope.
I think, absolutely.
I totally agree, man.
Learning to let go, I think, isan important part of acceptance
, because you don't have todisassociate entirely.
I think that may be what scaresa lot of people in that idea
where my identity is going tochange at the end of my career.
I don't know what I'm going todo for sure, right, but I
certainly know I can't do thislike you just brought up.
But I think it's important alsoto remember you don't have to
(21:20):
put it all behind you, right,different now.
So what of it can you take withyou that does you some good,
that gives you some fulfillment,or whatever you know, being an
instructor, in your case, or anauthor of a book, or finding the
next challenge like going toschool.
Dude, three years of law school, I bet you've never read so
many books in your life bro andboring legalese jargon a foreign
(21:43):
language.
Thomas Carchidi (21:44):
Miserable, disgusting these are all
adjectives that I can use forlaw school.
Torturous, miserable experiencedon't do it.
Don't do it unless you preparefor mental torture.
Josh Porthouse (21:55):
Yeah yeah, well, I guess then it helps that
you're a little bit more.
What's the word hard-headed?
I am hard-headed, a little bitmore resilient yeah.
Yeah, it's a superpower man.
God bless you.
All right, folks, sit tight andwe'll be right back on
Transacting Value.
(22:17):
Join us for Transacting Value,where we discuss practical
applications of personal valuesevery Monday at 9 am on our
website,transactingvaluepodcastcom,
wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundaysat noon on
wreathsacrossamericaorg slashradio.
So from everything we've beentalking about, uh, first off, I
appreciate you being able tobreak this apart into a second
(22:38):
piece.
Make some time out of yourschedule.
I know you're busy and gotstuff going on, so, um, thanks
for coming back so we can finishout our conversation.
First of all, listen.
Thomas Carchidi (22:48):
It's great to be back.
Thanks for having me, and I waslooking forward to it.
Josh Porthouse (22:51):
I appreciate it yeah, absolutely, dude,
absolutely.
But you talked about all kindsof stuff.
I mean, we went somehow fromwhat?
Calabria, italy, to Boston,baltimore, baltimore, yep,
baltimore, yep, baltimore.
And so your experiences, man,just as a person growing through
life, what you took into beinga cop, did it help?
(23:11):
Did you have to learn as youwent?
Did you have enough you couldstand on everything?
Thomas Carchidi (23:17):
in life is always a yin and a yang.
I believe almost everything isa good and a bad right.
So, uh, I learned a lot fromworking in law enforcement.
Um, some good, some bad, youknow, um, and you laugh because
you understand.
Being in the military it'samazing.
You learn so many things copingskills, life mechanisms, right.
(23:41):
But there's also bad things.
You take out of it Spiritual,emotional, mental scars,
physical scars, personalityquirks.
So I'd say, overall, I got alot out of working in law
(24:02):
enforcement.
It helped me.
One thing I liked about you know, I kind of lump in law
enforcement and militarytogether.
You know law enforcement isquasi-military.
A lot of people that are in themilitary when they retire they
drive it to law enforcement.
You know, my instructors wereall law enforcement, pretty much
for the most part across theboard.
(24:23):
I think just my opinion and I'ma nobody, just my opinion in
this country you should eitherdo some time in the military or
do some time in a lawenforcement capacity because it
teaches you a certain way tolive, um and to conduct yourself
, and I don't have to tell you,you know exactly what I mean.
(24:46):
Uh, you know, if you don't havethat mindset, that military
demeanor that that way ofunderstanding how life can be.
Life's a lot of fun, but it canalso be very serious and very
hectic and chaotic.
If you don't understand that,you can't differentiate the two,
you're not disciplined in astrict guy, you can have a big
(25:09):
problem.
I think I'm very outgoing andcharismatic charismatic, I have
a lot of fun.
My friends die laughing whenthey're with me.
But I have another side, excuseme, when hits the fan.
There's another side and Ithink that's important for a man
in society.
(25:31):
They do so hopefully thatanswers it a little bit.
Josh Porthouse (25:35):
Yeah, yeah, but do you think that's a result,
then, of what?
Was it 15 years?
Thomas Carchidi (25:41):
So law enforcement yeah, police and
peace officer about 15 yearssworn.
So I would say that lawenforcement helped turn me into
that type of person, but I hadit in me.
You know, I was very uh, I wasdifferent when I was a kid.
I was very timid.
(26:01):
I was more uh, green behind theears.
You know, I came from a greatfamily.
Um, I was protected and, uh, asI got older I changed because I
saw things were very, verydifficult in this world and it
can be very harsh at times.
A lot of people don't like toadmit it, but I'm a realist, I'm
(26:22):
not an optimist.
I'm not a pessimist, I'm arealist.
So I started working out, goingto martial arts, becoming more
disciplined, going down the lawenforcement road, that route
College, graduate school, lawschool, trying to be more of a
disciplined guy and more of aserious guy.
(26:42):
And when it's time to have fun,you have fun.
But I definitely believe in aserious mentality.
As far as a man, mygrandfather's old school kind of
race, very serious, loving guy,but very serious guy.
My godfather, my uncle veryserious guy.
My other uncle, who's like afather to me.
(27:03):
My aunt's husband from SicilyVery serious, fun guys, but very
serious.
So I kind of have a mix.
That's how I live my life.
Josh Porthouse (27:13):
What has it done for you, though?
I mean, do you find, inhindsight maybe, or at present
maybe, that that causes more Idon't know conflict in your
relationships then?
Or does it help?
It's funny.
Thomas Carchidi (27:28):
It's also a fine line, a strange dynamic
right.
We don't really know where thatgreat line in the sand lies
with certain things.
Josh Porthouse (27:38):
Yeah.
Thomas Carchidi (27:41):
I'll try to make an example.
Every relationship is different.
I'm heterosexual, so everyonethat I'm with is different
relationship.
Every friend of mine is adifferent relationship.
You can't really take everybodyand treat them equally, so to
speak.
Everyone's equal as a human,but everybody has a different
personality.
So some people love me, theylove my personality, they get it
(28:04):
.
My friends and family they getit, they accept it.
You know I'm more of a pit bull.
I have the traits of a pit bull.
You know that's what my familycalls me Fun loving, smart, you
know, athletic.
And then another side ofsomething is to occur and I
think that's good because I'mprotective, I'm loving, I'm a
(28:26):
good man, I'm a God fearingChristian and I think, like I
said, either you love me or youhate me.
You know some people, you know,leave that guy alone, he's a
little nutty, or, you know, he'snot my type of person.
And then I have friends allover the place that love me.
I'm going out with friends alittle later, so it just depends
.
You know, some people find,let's be honest some people find
(28:48):
alpha guys like us I'm sureyou're an alpha, you're in the
military.
They find this a little scarymartial art people, until they
get to know you, then theyrealize that guy's a big teddy
bear.
Unless you know, somethingreally goes wrong and things go
south.
Something really goes wrong andthings go south.
Then I guess you could see adifferent side.
But I think that's important inlife and being a good person
(29:09):
and being able to live in yourenvironment, to be able to
decipher and take yourself outof it.
You, for example, you come outof the military.
I have friends that are onactive duty, this and that
Friends that work in the worstneighborhoods in America.
It's hard to turn that offright.
(29:29):
You're, you're in a war zone,you're in a battle zone, and
then you come home and you'resupposed to be like, just I
don't know.
I don't know exactly whatyou're supposed to be, but they
want you.
That's what I was gonna askyeah because we at least.
Josh Porthouse (29:40):
Well, that's what I was going to say we at
least have this line.
I mean, it's an ocean in mostcases.
Yes, you know we're notoperating domestically.
You guys have an intersectionRight and then you go home.
Thomas Carchidi (29:54):
Right.
Josh Porthouse (29:55):
That changes everything, in my opinion.
You know, we've got aseven-hour flight to decompress
or whatever.
You've got a seven-minute drive, right?
That's not the same right?
So yeah, how do you unpack that?
How do you work to develop theswitch?
Thomas Carchidi (30:16):
I have to have outlets.
I have to, otherwise I think weall do.
I think we spoke about thislast time, this last time
briefly.
For instance, I read so muchlegal jargon, legalese, from law
school, it's like maddening.
I have to read a comic booksometimes, I have to read some
silly fiction, I have to go seea movie, go out to dinner, train
(30:38):
martial arts with my buddies.
I have to do something.
There has to be an outlet.
Otherwise, if know, if you havea family, that's great, hang
out with your kid.
There has to be something.
If you make everything everymoment, the job, the job, the
job you know, like either in themilitary, in police, anything,
a stockbroker, a lawyer, I thinkit's going to mess with you.
(31:01):
I really do, and especially intraumatic situations, jobs like
we have.
We see the worst, right, we seethe worst, we see the most
violent.
You know it's crazy the thingswe see.
So you need an outlet to kindof get you away from that.
And I definitely have outlets,a hundred percent.
Josh Porthouse (31:24):
Yeah.
Well, and then you also createdthem.
I mean, you wrote a book.
Yes, a Life in Law Enforcement,right?
Let's talk about your book.
Yes, sir, are you a journaler?
Do you normally write stuff?
Thomas Carchidi (31:37):
No, no, no.
So it's crazy.
I keep a little what do youcall?
A pen and then I write notesevery night before I go to sleep
, my thoughts.
I've done it since I was inprobably 19, but I never wrote a
book, nothing like that.
Just one day I was talking to,uh, a girl I was dating at the
time and she just asked me aboutwork and this and that.
(31:59):
And I'm like, if you could onlylike, if you can only get in my
mind, like, really get in mymind the X-Men, what was the one
of my favorite?
I told you I'm a comic bookProfessor X, professor X man.
If you could get in my brainyou know, yoda, see what I'm
thinking, you would understand.
(32:20):
Like it's so hard.
What am I going to sit here for10 hours and tell you all the
things I saw, all the thingsthat go on other cops see.
So I said you know what I think?
I'd like to write a book.
I had no idea.
I had no idea how to do it.
I taught myself everything andone day I just said I'm going to
(32:40):
start writing notes.
This one time on the block 400East Baltimore Street, which was
similar to Times Square back inthe 80s, you know, strip joints
, clubs, drugs, prostitutes,guns.
Just going to write whathappened this one night, when
you know we got to there was ashooting and you know I just
(33:01):
started putting things, say pento pad but there is no more of
that for me on the computer,just started writing and uh,
next thing I know I have like400, 500 pages of just craziness
and uh, that's, that's prettymuch how it came about and then
I had to edit it.
I had help from people, some ofmy friends helped me with the
(33:22):
editing process and that'sreally how it just came about,
man.
Josh Porthouse (33:28):
Wow, yeah, okay, so this is I mean specifically,
it says a life in lawenforcement, a police memoir.
And then you're talking aboutwhat does it say?
The good, the bad and the ugly.
The good, yeah, the good, thebad and the ugly.
Thomas Carchidi (33:44):
Yep, so this isn't just like lessons I've
learned.
This isn't just like a workbookto help people journal.
No, this is like authentic downon the street beat cop
experience.
Yes, we've seen it all before,right, so you're not going to be
shocked in the sense like youcan't believe these things go on
(34:07):
, but you're going to be shockedat the stories that I present
specifically.
You're going to be like whatthe it's nuts it.
But the thing is you can't makethis up.
It's all documented witnessstatements, court cases, cases,
police reports, movies, books,news articles, media and when
(34:31):
you look back at this 600citations I'm just throwing a
number out there in my bookdocuments when you look at this
and you're like this is crazy.
This is such good things lawenforcement does and this is
such nuts crazy things that goeson in law enforcement every day
.
And it's like this back andforth.
(34:51):
And really, if anybody isinterested in, like true crime,
learning about law enforcement,really learning about it, the
good and the bad, if you areinterested in that career, you
should read it and see what goeson, because it's going to help
you make a decision one way oranother.
Josh Porthouse (35:11):
Is this specific to Baltimore?
Specific to New York?
Where is it at?
Thomas Carchidi (35:16):
I started I was a police officer in Baltimore.
Then I transferred out toMontgomery County, maryland,
which is a suburb of DC insideMaryland, on the Maryland side.
Then I came back home and Iworked as a strong peace officer
for 10, 11 years in Brooklyn.
So it's Seagate PoliceDepartment, so it's all over the
place.
Like I tell different storiesfrom different places and I
(35:39):
changed some of the names, thelocales.
I don't ever want to callanybody out.
My book is not to pinpointanybody, get anybody in the hot
seat, jam them up.
My book is just to tell mystory and the general story.
The only people I name in mybook are the people that gave me
permission to do good things.
Everybody else I don't name andI kind of change details and
(36:01):
even places I worked at, eventhough I'm allowed to mention
them legally.
Civilly I don't, because I'mnot looking to get anybody
jammed up.
That's not me.
I wasn't raised that way.
I just want to tell a story.
Josh Porthouse (36:12):
you know All right, folks sit tight and we'll
be right back on TransactingValue.
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Thomas Carchidi (37:20):
And even places I worked at, even though I'm
allowed to mention them legally,civilly I don't, Because I'm
not looking to get anybodyjammed up.
That's not me.
I wasn't raised that way.
I just want to tell a story,you know.
Josh Porthouse (37:32):
Yeah, that's very interesting.
Well, so what is all of thisactually done for you?
And I don't mean like in termsof monetizing the book, I mean
it's the process, the writing,the putting it on paper, the
thinking through a bit moredeliberately the experiences
from then to now.
What has it?
Thomas Carchidi (37:48):
done for you.
It's done a lot.
I mean mentally.
I'm a lot sharper.
You know like the more youlearn, the more you do.
It keeps your mind good, itkeeps your mind focused.
I'm sharp mentally, you knowI'm sharper than I was.
All these things help out.
It's like building blocks.
You know college, high school,college, graduate school, law
(38:10):
school, book writing.
It helps you learn and become,you know, smarter at certain
things, that type of work.
Right, it's not going to help mewith being an engineer or a
bricklayer, but the type of way,the way my brain thinks and
works and the way I live my life, it makes me better at what I
do.
Also, like I said, I have athicker skin because a lot of
(38:33):
what I went through, you know Idon't really care anymore.
Meaning like somebody can saysomething and whatever man like
it, just it makes you stronger.
My thing is, and I trulybelieve this whatever doesn't
kill you in life only makes youstronger.
Sometimes you've got to becareful because it might not
(38:55):
kill you physically but it couldbreak you mentally.
That's not good.
You don't want to push yourselftoo far.
Military police we see awfulthings, we go through awful
things, but I do believe.
The more we we persevere inlife, the more we go through,
the stronger we are.
I'm not really fearful of toomuch, hardly anything like.
I'm not.
I've seen too much, I've beenthrough too much.
(39:16):
You know, stage four cancer,what could it be?
East baltimore people throwingsinks off the roof at me,
shooting at like, I don't.
I don't fear normal things thatnormal people would.
So that helped me in that sense.
But in another sense it kind ofdesensitized me.
I'm very, very numb, I'm veryhardened.
The martial arts also good andbad.
(39:37):
Years of pounding, pounding,pounding my body.
It's hard, compared to otherpeople it's like a piece of wood
, it's like steel sometimes youknow.
But at what price?
You're desensitizing yourselfmentally, physically.
So I don't know.
Is it good to me in my life?
It's good some other people itmight not be good for living
(39:59):
that lifestyle.
Josh Porthouse (40:01):
Yeah sure, well, that was the other thing I was
wondering the impact, then, ofdesensitizing through the
process, working through stuff,getting to a point where you can
either make sense of it orcommunicate it or do something
with it better, right, I mean,is it still the same, I guess,
experience finding appreciationin some little things, or do you
(40:22):
find you tend to more look pastlittle things?
Thomas Carchidi (40:26):
so I'm not gonna lie to you and this is a
conversation I just had with afamily member the other day and
a couple friends I do find, nowthat I'm older, for a long time
I didn't appreciate the smallthings, I didn't, and I became
numb, like desensitized toalmost everything.
I got like little to nopleasure out of out of things I
(40:49):
used to love, yeah, and thencancer hit and I literally was
in a hospital or at home, backbreaking.
My back was breaking.
I had a tumor on my back, tumormy throat, chemo, radiation,
spinal taps, bone punctures,this that surgery to put in uh
(41:11):
ports, horrible, horrible, likeuh, torture, really torture, and
uh, I think after that thingschanged a little bit.
Like now I look forward to more.
After this I I'm going to gohelp my friend, I'm going to go
probably teach jujitsu for alittle bit, teach some
(41:32):
techniques.
I love when people learn.
Then I might go out with myfriend afterwards for a bite, go
to a movie.
Small things, they're verysimple.
I get pleasure out of that.
I get more pleasure now becauseI know life is so short and,
(41:52):
yeah, I think for a while I kindof lost my way, but I think in
a strange, weird way, the cancerthing kind of put things in
perspective a little bit for me.
Josh Porthouse (42:02):
Yeah, it's interesting too.
A lot of the the time,regardless of what the cause is,
I think, at least in myexperience and perception
whatever it is that gets us to abottom shows us everything else
, because the light shinesthrough, you know.
I mean you're looking up fromthe bottom, you can see
everything.
Yeah, when you're looking downinto the water, it gets dark
(42:23):
fast and you don't know what'sdown there, how you're going to
react.
So there's something to be saidfor diving a bit deeper into
humanity, or hanging out on thestreet and to whatever reason
you got to be there, and thenrecovering through the trauma,
through the chaos, learning toprocess, finding an outlet.
I love what you've created as amessage, as an example, as a
(42:45):
process, and I don't know towhat extent that's influencing
your family and friends there,but you're global now, so it's
anybody's guess.
The impact that that's going tohave.
My theory is some prettyprofound insight, though is
going to make a very bigdifference for some people and a
(43:06):
very small difference forothers, but it makes all the
difference to everybody, puttingit out there in the first place
.
So I appreciate what you'vedone, man, putting it on paper,
a willingness and avulnerability to talk about it,
to process it and just to takethe action of doing it.
I appreciate it, in case nobodyelse tells you.
Thomas Carchidi (43:23):
Well, listen, I really appreciate your time,
words and positivity you share.
Thank you so much.
Josh Porthouse (43:31):
Yeah, man, absolutely.
And also thanks for your time.
I know it's the evening, I'msure you're ready to go get
dinner, but thanks for makingsome time to come back and talk
a little bit.
Thomas Carchidi (43:39):
Anytime, I'd love to do it another time.
We can do it on another topic.
Anything you want, I love it.
Josh Porthouse (43:44):
Absolutely.
I'm totally down to talk to yousome more, man, but for right
now, for the sake of time, Ireally only have one other
question for you, please.
Of all the things you'veexperienced, the beatdowns that
you put on yourself, mentally,emotionally, behaviorally,
(44:07):
distancing from people,physically recovering through
all your stuff, your experiencesbeing on the force, working
through all these things withyour family and friends and now
looking back, what's it all donefor you to actually instigate
your sense of self-worth?
Thomas Carchidi (44:17):
That's a very good question.
We could talk for hours.
I'm going to try to put it in abox for you.
I think everything the good andthe bad has taught me Me
specifically Never let peopleput me down.
There's a lot of people outthere that have big egos and big
(44:37):
mouths, a false sense ofreality, delusion.
They don't do anything and theyclaim to be superheroes.
I don't claim to be much, butin reality I know I've done a
lot.
There's a huge difference andat the end of the day I I
absolutely believe without god Iwouldn't be here.
There's something bigger.
(44:59):
Um, there's no way.
There's no way this will happenby accident.
There's something bigger.
I believe people can believewhat they want.
I have my own personalexperiences.
That's another story foranother time.
But one day we're going to meetour maker.
We're going to have to presentour life and accomplishments to
him and I definitely believe itdoesn't matter if you're a pizza
(45:23):
man, carpenter, plumber.
It doesn't matter if you're apizza man, carpenter, plumber,
it doesn't matter what you dolawyer, doctor, infantryman, cop
, doesn't matter.
Do it the best you can and dothe best you can with your
abilities that God gave you andgive it back to him.
That's how I live my life and Ithink that's how I want to be
(45:44):
known.
And, uh, I think that's how Iwant to be known.
And the question to be morespecific, I think I'm at a point
in my life where I know myworth.
Even if I don't ever doanything again for the rest of
my life, I know I've lived agood life and I I don't allow
people to bring me down, to putme down.
I keep my head up.
The only way you can do that isreally by being somebody and
(46:06):
doing the best you can.
So it all comes.
It's intertwined.
See what I'm saying.
Josh Porthouse (46:12):
Yeah, I couldn't phrase it any better, dude.
I think you summed it up verywell, and so, for everybody
that's listened to ourconversation or watched it in
this case, I hope you guys gotsomething out of it as well.
I hope you had an awesome timewatching the conversation unfold
and listening to Tommy and hisperspective, because, unless I'm
(46:33):
wrong, this is one of the firstfew times you've actually
digitized your perspectiveoutside of your book, right?
Thomas Carchidi (46:40):
Yeah, just a couple.
I did one or two interviews,but this is really in-depth.
Yes.
Josh Porthouse (46:45):
Yeah, just a couple.
I did one or two interviews,but this is really in-depth.
Yes, well, I'm honored to be apart of your journey, man, and I
hope you consider doing moredown the road or come back and
talk to us.
But again, thank you for yourperspective.
Thank you for your time.
Everybody else, head over toour website,
transactingvaluepodcastcom.
Check out all our otherconversations.
Here's one thing that you maynot find too many other places
that I'd like you to check outOn the homepage, in the top
(47:07):
right corner, is a button thatsays leave a voicemail.
Click the button.
Two minutes Talk time's allyours.
Here's my recommendation.
One, let us know what you thinkof the show.
Let us know your feedback.
Let us know if you want to helpcontribute time, money, talent,
insight.
Know somebody that wants tocome on the show, tell us about
it.
Leave the voicemail.
But two, tell Tommy what youthink about it.
(47:27):
Get his book, track it down,read it this conversation,
listen to it and leave avoicemail.
Give him some feedback, becausethat's how we all develop and
grow through life separately,together.
So you've got all sorts ofopportunities and, tommy, I
don't want to miss this oneAnybody who wants to buy your
book.
You've got all sorts ofopportunities and, tommy, I
don't want to miss this one.
Thomas Carchidi (47:47):
Anybody who wants to buy your book, track
down some of your insights.
Where do they go?
So real, simple life in lawenforcement police memoir.
The good, the bad, the corrupt.
It's all over.
You can go to book baby, go toamazoncom, go to Barnes and
Noble.
Just Google Tommy Carchidi, alife in law enforcement.
It'll pop right up.
And if you don't mind, I justwant to say one last thing.
My buddy, he was a policeofficer.
(48:09):
He's retired.
He switched over and retiredfrom the fire department.
We got some upsetting news.
His mom has serious, seriouscancer and I just wanted to give
him a shout out.
My buddy Eddie and his mom.
Josh Porthouse (48:27):
So God bless to them and people out there that
are watching to say prayer forMs Rousseau.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Thanks for putting it out.
Thank you, my friend,definitely, and for right now,
that's all the time we've got onTransacting Value.
I thank you again for tuning in.
Track us down on Facebook,youtube, linkedin, reads Across
America Radio and until nexttime, that was Transacting Value
(48:48):
.
Thank you to our show partnersand folks.
Thank you for tuning in andappreciating our value as we all
grow through life together.
To check out our otherconversations or even to
contribute through feedback,follows, time, money or talent,
and to let us know what youthink of the show, please leave
(49:11):
a review on our website,transactingvaluepodcastcom.
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Head to wreathsacrossamericaorg.
Slash transactingvalue tosponsor a wreath and remember,
(49:34):
honor and teach the value offreedom for future generations
On behalf of our team and ourglobal ambassadors, as you all
strive to establish clarity andpurpose, ensure social
tranquility and secure theblessings of liberty or
individual sovereignty ofcharacter for yourselves and
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We will continue instigatingself-worth, and we'll meet you
(49:55):
there.
Until next time, that wasTransacting Value.
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