Tax Law into Trust & Transparency | David Strulowitz [50] - Transferable Skills

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Transferable skills, skills, skills from Cackle Media.
This is transferable skills. I'm Noah, Michigan.
Today's guest is David Strulowitz, who shares his
skills journey from tax law intotrust and transparency.
This is a completely different format.
Today's episode is the first of hopefully many more in the

(00:22):
future in person live episodes. I did it because David
challenged me to do it knowing that we'd have a lot better
chemistry and energy in a room together.
And he was correct. So I hope you enjoy this
episode. There is going to be a lot of
very esoteric, bizarre, abstractconcepts.
It was a very spiritual conversation and it's fitting

(00:46):
because David really weaves his spirituality into his personal
life, into his professional lifeand into his mindfulness.
Enjoy, David, It's great to haveyou here.
Great. To be here.
Thanks Sir. Thanks for having me.
Yeah, you, you push me. Actually, I, I perfect for this,
this show, the theme of this podcast is transferable skills.
You asked if if we would do it in person because there's just a

(01:09):
lot more energy in person. And I agree with you and I was
apprehensive. I'm going to use this as as the
the push I needed to force myself to do it, to use the
skills that I have in order to enhance the quality of this
episode in this conversation. So thank you for pushing me
outside of my comfort zone to make today happen.

(01:29):
My pleasure, my pleasure. Where was your career at the
beginning and what were you doing?
I really, I mean, I look at it like I have like a right brain
and a left brain. And by the way, had you said to
me 20 years ago, you know, you have a right brain, left brain,
I'd be like, whatever. I wasn't zoned in on that at
all. But it was my left brain that
was really taking over. So like, I literally was an

(01:49):
accounting major undergrad. I went to law school and then I
got a master of laws in taxationand I was in my career initially
working in accounting and law. And, you know, it's all left
brain. Yeah.
There's analysis, but it was allabout, you know, the numbers or
drafting documents, even when I was working at a law firm and we
still had to look at numbers andanalysis.

(02:12):
And that's what tax law is, is ablend of both understanding the
law and understanding the impactthat the law has on the numbers
and what what the outcomes are for people.
How unique is that? That's a great question.
I think they're kind of aligned,but I don't think there's a lot
of people to do it, but there are plenty of people.
I think the more interesting thing for me was discovering I
had a right brain and how significant it was and how I had

(02:33):
avoided the influence of right brain where?
And by that I mean my so like I even as an undergrad I was like,
I was really intrigued by the psychology courses I took and
that can be very quantitatively oriented, but I didn't really
see it that way. But I'm like psychology, what
kind of a, what kind of a, a jobis that?

(02:55):
So like I kind of blew it up. I'm like, what can I do where I
would really have much more of aconcrete career path.
And, and I think that's really what drove me in that direction.
And so I was, I think naturally in, in Western society,
certainly it's very materialistic.
And I was so much more focused on the material aspects of what
I was doing and less focused on the deeper spiritual aspects of

(03:18):
what I was doing. And that's been a theme that I
think continues to today. Yeah, the I, I also discovered
psychology in undergrad and I actually went into psychology,
you know, 101 as a skeptic and, and I'm like, I'm going to take
this class ironically. And I ended up taking like 5

(03:39):
undergrad classes in psychology,loving it because what I really
gained from those classes was understanding human beings and
how we operate, think and behave, and that that's a
universal skill. Yes, and important.
We're interacting with people all the time and how we show up
determines what results come from those interactions.

(04:02):
And, and we also know that when we don't have interaction, we
make assumptions about people and circumstances that are not
informed by actually interactingwith them.
It's like you had to go and takepsychology to the understand
what it was. You had preconceived notions.

(04:22):
I mean, we all did preconceived about what psychology was all
about. And then you start you, you,
you, all of a sudden you're like, you're doing it and
you're, you're studying it and you open up to and it's like, Oh
my God, all these things I didn't know.
I mean, that's to be the trajectory of our lives in
general, all the things I don't know.
And it's the paradox that I discovered at this point in my
life that the more I learned, the more I realize I don't know.

(04:45):
So I went to law school right out of undergrad to be view law.
So then I was like, you know, I end up getting a job with one
right now. It's the big four at the time
was the big eight public accounting firms in their tax
department in New York City. And I had applied for it and was
admitted to NY US graduate tax law program.

(05:05):
It's funny when you say lol sounds.
Like I'm talking about somebody else.
You don't identify anymore as that person.
I mean at some level I do, but Ithink no, why?
I think it was all left brain and I think I identified today
much more with the qualitative aspects of life and not the
quantitative. They're important.

(05:27):
You have to pay your bills and to show up at the dentist office
on time. But I'm really trying to stay in
the flow and and and make betterdecisions on what is in
alignment with who I am and where I'm going.
Where'd you get that mindset? I really think it's just like
one of those blessings that you get is like an expanded
consciousness and expanded insight.

(05:48):
And for me, it's all about realizing, you know, the more I
learn, the more I don't know. And I'm, I'm constantly striving
to just grasp life from a deeperperspective and what's really
important. And the numbers are are
important, but they're not nearly as important as the
quality of the life you live andalso your ability to have a

(06:11):
positive impact on the people around you.
You describe discovering or realizing that you had a right
brain. Sometimes you look back and you
say, I recognize this now in hindsight, that I was always
this way from a young age. That's the mind blower of it.
Like I remember, as I'm we're talking, I remember like in
grammar school, like doing art projects we had, we had our

(06:31):
class. I don't know what they give,
they give them now, but you know, we were painting whatever.
And I remember the art teacher was like, you know, very
complimentary of what I did. I didn't see it that way.
I had no baseline, but it makes the point of, and there were
things other experiences I had as a kid, which I remember now,
probably all of them. And that is like the intuitive

(06:52):
experiences I had, like the ideaof having a premonition.
OK, so I remember distinctly at a couple different points the
realization of something that hadn't happened yet.
The classic examples like my parents were coming back from,
they've gone to Mexico for vacation.

(07:14):
They left me with my aunt and uncle and at least one of my
siblings. So I, I couldn't have been more
than 8-9 or 10. And I, and I remember, and they
called, they were at the airportand they were, you know, there
was no cell phones. They go from the airport and
they, they're on the way to comepick us up.
And, and I had this popped in myhead.
Oh my God, they bought me a goldring with my initials on it.

(07:37):
You had that in your head. You.
Yeah. And then they showed up and that
was the gift that they brought back from from Mexico.
Like, where'd I get that from? And, and so I was saving myself
at the time where I get from. There was no one to talk to
about that, right? Had I grown up in a different
culture that placed emphasis on tapping into, you know, the

(07:58):
messages that the universe is giving you, I would have had an
outlet and someone to talk to about that.
But I just thought I was strange.
Those might be two separate things.
You might still be strange. I am strange.
No, I think we're both strange. That's not the issue.
But you have that's that's strangest, if you will, for lack
of I mean, that is what we in our personal growth have to
learn more heavily into. That's our unique gifts.

(08:21):
We often dismiss those things that we have in these, these
premonitions as the term you useor as feelings, as hunches,
instinct, regardless of how clear they might be to us in our
consciousness. We, we often will dismiss them
and we will label them as something different, like I'm
tired, I'm hungry or, or something that's, that's easy to

(08:42):
excuse. But when you're able to tap
deeper into your subconscious. And that's one of the many
reasons I am a big fan of meditation and, and therapy.
It's it. These are all forms of basically
digging deeper, digging deeper and and becoming more sensitive
and aware of of some of the things that that we've been
ignoring. Right.
I, I want to take it one step further because I think it's

(09:04):
important and it's a real, I have had that I've struggled
with the past couple of years and that is from a different
perspective. It's not really a premonition,
it's a deeper now. I need to know.
So, so, so there's a spiritual idea that time is a function of

(09:29):
physicality, that time doesn't really exist.
What do you mean? There's a past and there's a
future. Yeah, I know.
But you're always in the present.
The only real experience that you have is in the present
moment. And you're only ever having a
present moment experience because from a kabbalistic
spiritual perspective, that's the only thing that matters is

(09:50):
what you're doing in the present.
That's the only experience you're ever having.
And so there are multiple thingsgoing on at the same time and
you are premonition is just seeing that deeper reality.
It's going to play out because we live in a world that does
have linearity. But you when you're connecting
to soul, when you're connecting to, you know, the creator,

(10:14):
you're seeing that deeper present moment.
So all a premonition is, we terma premonition premonition, but
in reality it's just a deeper now.
Yeah, that's people talk about it sometimes tongue in cheek,
but sometimes in seriousness like the multiverse, yes, we're
talking about the different layers and, and it isn't just
linear. I mean, time is a construct.

(10:35):
It's a, it's first of all, it's time.
Time is it is relative to our atmosphere, our environment and
our solar system. The ability to deconstruct
situations is a real skill, yeah, because you come in,
whether you're a business consultant or in my role as
helping people with their finances, they're operating

(10:58):
under a set of frameworks and mindset.
They can't see a way of kind of deconstructing and looking at a
looking at a different way. I think it's my like one of my
top skills, my ability to, to see a situation, deconstruct it
and look at it from, you know, from a more abstract perspective
and then kind of put it back together again in a way that
complements what's going on in, you know, for people.

(11:22):
If I had to pick a superpower, Ithink that's one of the things
that I I'm really able to do with that, you know, people will
will hire me to do. I don't think they look at it
that way, but I think that's what I'm.
Doing I don't think we look at it that way typically because we
think of finances, any part of your career, whether it's law or
finance. We think of these things as
being very rigid, very linear and within the limitations and

(11:45):
construct of what our system is dictating it.
We've been prescribed this. There's a few options, and the
concept with the idea of being creative around that is often
very foreign. And that's the power of like,
connecting to your right brain. There's always a work around
this, but I need to take a step back and like, is that really

(12:07):
what's going on now? I study a lot of Zohar.
The Zoar are the teachings of Rubbish and Boya High from, you
know, the Second Temple period. He and his son Rebel Azar.
There was a death warrant issuedin Rubbish and Boy High because
he was a student of Rabbi Akiva and he went into hiding for 13
years. He was in a cave with his son

(12:28):
for 13 years. The story is that while they
were in there, a river sprout, as did a tree that fed them
fruit and they had water and they buried themselves in the
sand because they only one pair of clothing.
And every day Moses came to themand taught them what be later
became the Zoe. And that's the understanding in
modern circles that's not widelyaccepted in traditional circles.

(12:50):
It's that's that's the deep true.
Why isn't it? Because in modern times, I mean,
it's the scientific method, it'smodern scholarship, it's very
surface. And so the point that going back
to my point is that in the Zoar,there's no conflict, there's

(13:10):
just sharing. This is your path towards like
understanding text and and law and Bible is mirroring your your
professional. View the way I'm looking at it
is different. I know that they've they're
relying on that they're bringingthat verse because they know the
internal energy, the internal consciousness of that verse is

(13:32):
aligning with helping to explain.
They know there's a connection. They can see the deeper
connection that we can't see because we weren't at their
level. Like they're so tapped into
their intuitive sense. Do you believe?
That we're able to tap into thattoday.
Or we can, I don't know that we can't tap into the level of the
day that these were the most enlightened sages that ever

(13:55):
walked the face of the earth. So are we at the level?
No, but can we tap into the deeper understanding that what I
would refer to, it's not just meas the internal energy, the
consciousness behind what that verse represents.
Can we do that? Yes, we can do that, but you got
to be open to it. I mean, consciousness is

(14:16):
everything. And we know in science backs
this up. Now we're sitting in a room that
looks concrete, that looks like everything is in a form.
It's, it's got mass, whatever, but it's molecules, it's energy.
Our brain collapses it so that we can navigate it.
That's what our brain is helpingus do so, But that doesn't mean

(14:38):
that it's not important to understand.
It is all energy. It is all energy.
And when you unpack it in that way, you open up greater
possibilities. And it's not just in looking at
the room, it's looking at life. It's looking at a person.
Like people show up in your lifeand you're like, why is he
acting that way? And what I have come to, the

(15:01):
question I've come to ask is notwhy is he acting that way, but
what happened to him. It's a much deeper way of
looking at life and people and circumstances like what happened
to him that he shows up that way.
And it's it, it forces one to inject much more compassion and

(15:21):
understanding and more connection and more unity.
And that is what the world needs.
The world presents as fragmented.
That's an illusion. We're all leaves on the same
tree, literally. Yeah, when you talk about the
world being fragmented, it's typically because of the surface
level values or perspectives. And then so that might be socio

(15:43):
economic, political, Geo. It could be a whole bunch of
things that are that are influencing some of your
interests, opinions and behavior.
Instead of like criticizing thisindividual, say the question is
what happened to them before? You're able to view things from
an abstract perspective. Yeah.

(16:04):
And and so that again helps to open a possibility all the time.
And it's like you're calling your monkey brain.
We both have monkey brain, but Idon't want to.
And that's helpful to unpack, but it's also important to kind
of quiet that down because arguably, why is it that some
great ideas pop into my head when I'm in the shower?

(16:25):
Why the shower? I know why.
It's the last sacred place whereyou're not distracted by any
other outside information input.OK, so true.
But like what's going on in the shower?
Well, I'm just enjoying the water.
So like my mind is open. It's it's meditative.
It's meditative. Absolutely.

(16:46):
Even you see today, even when people are waiting for their
elevator to arrive, they pull out their phone and look.
Yeah, well, now, right. Now and there's there's so much
external sensory that's being input in in in everywhere you
look so in college you study finance tax and you went to law
school afterwards you. Accounting, yes.
And then and then law school andthen, and then in taxation.

(17:09):
Yeah, yeah, OK. And tax law.
And then I I went to work for anaccounting firm in a tax
department, went to work for a law firm doing estate planning
and tax work, and then I took a stint in a family business.
What was it? The business was sales and
manufacture, manufacturing sale of automotive accessories,
aftermarket accessories. It was a family business, not my

(17:32):
family. It was my my in laws business.
And I just I really wanted to bein business.
I kind of had got had enough of the the technical stuff and I
learned a tremendous amount there.
We were selling retailers acrossthe country, automotive specific
and then general merchandise whohad automotive departments, but

(17:55):
I don't think a lot about sales who.
Drank you. Nobody.
It was all on the job train. Trial by fire.
Yeah. Tell me about that transition
and what you kind of leverage from your background, I mean
finance, accounting? But really didn't really matter.
I mean, your sales, the sales and the numbers were important.

(18:17):
It was more about understanding distribution and how to tap into
it, like how to maintain relationships, work
relationships. You know, buyers would get fired
and you'd want to be nice to them because they're going to
land someplace else and buy yourproduct.
And you know, it's like, so there's a lot, there was a lot

(18:39):
of relationship there and I didn't really know that because
I didn't have any training and Ididn't have any exposure to
that. I had done sales as a kid.
I was selling full of brush doorto door as a summer job because
you don't have to work jobs and you could name your own hours.
So like, you know, you were not going to door and we had a free
gift and that's how we got in. What?

(19:00):
Was the gift it? Was one of two things.
It was either a vegetable brush or a soap holder like a little
well, it's more in addition keptit.
It's something you put in the dish.
Keep the soap elevated. So it wasn't.
Wet in the wet, Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it would last longer.
So both these had tremendous utility.
I mean, I thought the soap dish holder was was had more utility

(19:24):
personally, but the but people like the brush too.
And they you'd say you'd open the door, They ask the door and
say, listen, I'm, I have a free gift today if you look at my
catalog. How old are you?
At 16 and I did it with my cousin.
We'd work opposite sides of the street.
Nice. Yeah, your associate.
But it was more of a partnership.

(19:45):
But those are Pikes that sell themselves as opposed to other
products that you have that haveto be sold.
So most of the work I'm doing now is with people who are
retiring. So did they save for retirement?
If that happens every time, I really can't even help them but
like but like I'm helping them transition from.
My income was coming from the payroll or from the business

(20:09):
that I owned. And now where's my income?
How am I covering my expenses? So now it's coming from my
savings. And that's a huge transition.
And as I like to remind people, when you're doing something the
first time, how many times you get it right, Right.
But I've done this, you know, multiple times.
So like, that is an expertise that I bring.

(20:30):
It's a repeatable, you know, task.
OK, the obvious thing that everybody, everybody wanted
anyone in finance, anyone in insurance will tell you is it's
never too early to start saving and planning.
That's the first thing. Everyone will also tell you the
principle of their first paychecks start putting aside.
Doesn't matter how much it's, it's creating the behavior

(20:51):
patterns, OK, those things we know whether people choose to to
take action on those known principles.
What else would you suggest? Our tips and advice that you
give somebody younger than who you're typically talking to that
would help them? Well, I unfortunately emotions

(21:12):
play a big part in decision making.
Tell me more. Well, I really think that this
company is going to just light the world on fire and I'm by it
now or this crypt, it's going to, you know, it's the future

(21:32):
and people get caught up in the emotion.
We all do. The emotions are good.
Passion is important, but you need to really temper emotion
when you're making decisions about numbers because numbers
don't care about your feelings ultimately.
So facts don't either, but theirnumbers even more don't care

(21:52):
about, you know, feelings don't really have a role you really
have, you know, so that's one important, really important
piece of advice. Whatever your nest egg is, don't
let your emotions control. What is the prudent investor
would do with the prudent personwould do like what is the most
appropriate under these circumstances?
And I run into that. I see that a lot.

(22:12):
I run into that a lot. And so part of what I'm always
imposing on the relationship, atleast in my room, coming, I'm
saying this is what is most appropriate.
You're helping people with investments and their portfolio.
Yeah. And like, you know, and I'm also
helping them identify or articulate what's important to
them, that that's part of one ofthe most important things I do

(22:34):
initially is like, what's important to you?
Outside of risk tolerance, what else would be a factor?
Who's depending on you? What do we put in place for
them, and in what ways are they depending on you?
What is it that you know? What ways do you want to give
back or not give back? How long do you want to work?
Are you talking to people as they're heading into retirement

(22:57):
or? Well, at that point, it's too
late. We know when they want to stop
working, they're heading into retirement.
I mean, ideally, you know, in anideal world, you know, I'd like
20 years to help them get there.Yeah.
But sometimes even 10 years, I'mlike, I'll be like, what?
People? Look, we need to come up with a
plan for the next 10 years. And that the other thing that I
understand and what one of the skills that I bring is because

(23:18):
I've worked on connecting with people, I think I've always had
an ability to connect with people.
Again, didn't realize that was aunique skill.
I just didn't, right. But you know, when you're young,
you have this perspective. There's not a lot of self
evaluation. You never take a step back and

(23:39):
looking at yourself from an objective perspective.
But it's important because the more you can see yourself from
a, from an objective perspective, the better you'll
be at it able to see others froma more objective perspective.
Like objectivity is really important.
You know, if you want to be ableto take a step back, you got to
try and find a way to objectively look at what's going

(23:59):
on. And, and that does remove
emotions and it does remove hangups and it does remove unhelpful
mindsets. It's one of the things that I
bring to a situation when I'm working with someone is like,
take a step back and I'm, you know, I'm bringing the benefit
of working with a lot of people and seeing multiple mindsets.
So like, which one is it that you have?
It is something different. Let's see.

(24:20):
It's always a reflection of who you are, right?
And you are always the priority.Not me.
I'm not the priority. I'm just a facilitator, right
all? Right, let's talk about the
facilitator skill set. How do you do what you do?
How do you know what you're doing?
Well, part of it is I've done been doing it for a long time,
but when I was new at it, I would approach every situation

(24:41):
like, here's another learning experience.
There's an opportunity to learn,and even when I don't think
things went the way I wanted to,I'd say to myself, I think this
is a really important skill. It may not have worked out well
that time, but perhaps it didn'twork out well that time because
there's another opportunity coming that's much larger, and I
can use the learning from that situation and apply it to a much

(25:02):
more important situation. I always tell myself that when
things don't turn out well, you get upset.
Yeah. And when you get upset, you're
limiting your ability to processbecause you're pouring all this
energy into upset. So like, how do I turn that into
a positive so that I can move on?
And, you know, part of life is like, you're going to get upset.
So the more you embrace the upset, the discomfort, the pain,

(25:27):
the quicker you can process through it and, you know, move
on. Yeah.
Another huge, huge skill. I'm open to possibilities and
I'm open to guidance and I'm open to asking for help and I'm
open to hearing varied perspectives.

(25:47):
I'm open to hearing conflicting perspectives.
But. But you're also doing that work
like you described, learning from what didn't work in the
past. A lot of people don't do a
retrospective. They don't go back and say
analyzing what didn't work, why didn't it work, how much of that
was within my control or not, and what could I do the next
time around in order to mitigatethe risk of things not working

(26:10):
out again. Right.
So the more in touch you are with how you feel, I would argue
the better you'll be able to do that.
Because when it didn't go well, well, screw that, you know, I'm
moving on as long as you can. That guy's a jerk.
As long as you can throttle youremotions.
OK, right with the problem in front of that guy's a jerk.
Like I am projecting. He made a decision.

(26:31):
Why now I'm feeling the pain of rejection.
So I need to feel the pain of rejection if I can.
If you have a pain rejection, then I can come to understand
like what is going on? Why did that happen and how do I
handle differently next time? How do I handle differently
right now? Am I going to write that guy off
or am I going to make another run at it?
But you know, the pain of that is going to stay in the way of

(26:53):
me making another run at it. So the quicker I can process
that, the quicker I can turn around and say let's you're open
to looking at a different perspective.
Do you hold on to some of that though?
You get passing, you learn, but just something that's to stick
with you. Yeah, I mean, you know, the body
keeps score. I mean, like, you know, it's
what we're feeling is important.Another thing that I didn't know

(27:15):
when I was younger that I've come to understand, the more
present I become to what's goingon.
I'm feeling things all the time and I need to.
What am I feeling? Why am I feeling that?
What is behind the feeling? When am one of my spiritual guys
has said often your feelings areare a breadcrumb to your soul.

(27:36):
It's a breadcrumb trail to yourself.
When you feel something, there'sa reason you're feeling
something. You need to take a look at why
it is you're feeling what it is you're feeling.
I've actually found myself in rare unique moments where I I'm
sensitive and aware of that I'm feeling something and then also
able instead of what typically happens, which is then you move
on. When I'm able to do that moment

(27:57):
rarely, but occasionally is to say I, I noticed I feel
something. What is that feeling,
identifying it? Why am I feeling that way?
Let's understand it better. And it has never not served me
well. And from, from business product
ideation like this, this concept, why am I feeling this
way? And now I'm realizing I
understand something from the consumer behavior psychology

(28:19):
standpoint that's going to influence design or innovation
of product. And you can do the same thing in
your personal lives where I'm feeling something in this
conversation or in this relationship right now, right?
What is that? What am I feeling?
What is that? OK, so let's, yeah, what is
that? OK, so one thing comes up a lot
is judgement. I mean, comes up all the time.

(28:41):
It's fun to judge. It is fun, and it's momentarily
gratifying. Arguably, if I'm in a space of
judgement, I'm also going to be judged.
So like, I don't want to maintain a connection to
judgement because I really don'twant to be judged so.
Judge not, lest you be judged. Yeah, So of course you know
those. It's a, it's a try phrase, but

(29:03):
it's incredibly useful because you're literally, and again,
this is going down the rabbit hole, but if you're judging, you
are now bathing in the energy ofjudgement and you're opening up
the windows. There are the people to judge
you like you're in judgement. If you're not in judgement,
you're less likely to judge. You're not with that energy.
Like where is your consciousness?

(29:25):
Are you at a low vibrational frequency?
I mean, I love that guy's vibe. Yeah, he's got a high
vibrational frequency. He's coming into a room and he's
just chill and he's OK with everybody.
And, you know, he's got a great vibe.
He's at a high vibrational frequency.
He's happy, he's non judgmental,he's cool with everything.

(29:45):
I'm OK with what is. So I want to bring, I want to
travel on that energy all the time.
Can I maintain that? I'm human, I have human
emotions. Those human emotions are
important to tie back because they're giving me it's, it's the
way my body is assisting me understanding what's going on.
So I want to be tapped into thatat the same.

(30:06):
And so it will bring me down. Things will bring me down to a
lower vibrational frequency. Something happens and I judge
and now I feel like crap becauseI'm in a low vibrational
frequency because I allowed an external to determine my
mindset. I don't want my mindset
determined by externals. I want my mindset coming from

(30:28):
here, the spark of the creator that's in here, minus Shama,
that's all that matters. Right, all right, help me here.
Maybe maybe you have a perspective or a strategy around
this. And if you don't, maybe we can
make one up right now. If this moment when you know you
feel something and you're sensitive and aware, and then
you're able to recognize and identify what that feeling is

(30:49):
and why this comes up. There's a a a concept in Judaism
called Shamira Halashon, which is protecting what you say
essentially, don't speak I'll ofothers.
Don't speak about other things or other people, especially
because they can often lead to just negative, judgmental and.
It's character assassination literally destroys people.

(31:11):
By no means am I great at this. It's a skill.
First of all, it's a learned behavior that you have to
exercise and practice. I'm trying.
I want to try to not be so judgmental and an area where I
find this is hang out, whether that is backyard fire pit,
Shabbat lunch, Saturday midday, having lunch with a lot of

(31:34):
people and we're having a wonderful time, great vibe,
great energy. All it takes is really one
comment that could send the the topic, the conversation
spiralling down downward right into this conversation of
judgement and and criticism. And I have found myself in those
moments saying like this isn't healthy, this isn't productive

(31:54):
and I don't feel good about it. And now you're, you have two
options. You can figure out how to say
something without making everyone uncomfortable, Say,
hey, this isn't working for me. Maybe we can move on to a better
topic. Or I'd rather not talk about
this person. They're not here to defend
themselves, right? Which is hard to do.
And and I'm, as a parent, I'm guilty of this all the time,

(32:17):
expecting this of our children. You know, when you might get a,
a phone call or hear about an incident where something
happened, you're like, why didn't you stand up for that
kid? And, and I understand my kids
like, well, it's not easy when 20 of my friends are there
making fun of this one person. Like, will you have to be the
bigger, bigger person? That's not easy.
No. And I'm asking a 15 and 17 year

(32:39):
old to do that, right? That's not easy.
Not easy for an adult. I'm 44 and I can't do that
sometimes, most of the time. And so I don't know how to work
on that skill to where I'm protecting my language in a way
that is as healthy as I can be, that is productive, that is
positive vibes to build that that muscle, that skill set for

(33:05):
positivity and less judgement and criticism.
Reminds me of this Hasidic story.
Maybe you heard it. A guy comes through his his, his
rabbi and he says I, I, I just, I said something terrible and I
feel terrible. I, you know, it's negative talk.
I know what the and the rabbit says, go home, get your feather
of pillow and climb onto the hilltop out right near town and

(33:26):
tear open the pillow and push the feathers out everywhere.
It's OK. He goes, he does it comes back
there obviously OK. I didn't know what I do now.
Go collect the feathers. So part of it is understanding
the impact because we get involved in a lot of things
because there's instant gratification.

(33:49):
Instant gratification is like what they call body
consciousness. It's my ego.
It's like, you know, it's like Ineed, it's like I know I'm
addicted to the dopamine. It's like I'm addicted to it.
Having the Longview is easy to ignore.
It's as we were talking about interms of financial planning,
it's easy to ignore the things Ineed down the road.
It's like we're so plugged into instant gratification.

(34:10):
But ultimately instant gratification lasts an instant.
It feels good in the moment and you said it feels terrible
afterwards. So I want to, if I'm conscious
of what my vibrational frequencyis, of what I'm feeling, am I
feeling low or am I feeling at ahigher level?
So then I'm able to like internally sense what's going

(34:31):
on. How you, the question you asked,
is it really? Well, OK, great, David, but
practically we're sitting aroundthe Shabbos table.
Someone is like saying something's negative.
I feel everything kind of sinking.
What do I do about it? You know, I can remember being
in situations and saying, you know, we don't really know the
story. Let's move on.
And by the way, not to, not to pass judgement others, I'm just
as guilty of being the one that brings up that.

(34:53):
We all do it. I think part of what we want to
anchor ourselves in is a positive mental attitude, a
positive mindset, a higher vibrational frequency.
There are things that you, you brush your teeth daily, doesn't
really matter during the day. I mean, I could just take a, you

(35:15):
know, a Listerine meant or everything to brush my teeth.
Well, ultimately it's like it's the things that you do, the
little habits, the atomic habits, the things that you do a
little bit at a time somewhere, the things that the little
habits you do every day that actually have the greatest
impact. And so the more I can avoid
negative speech, I'm putting myself on a different

(35:38):
trajectory. And that trajectory is what's
important. We, we share a lot of, you know,
personally, we share a lot of our personal challenges that
we've had over the years and youknow, really low feelings, a
myriad of low feelings. It's like, you know, you want to
be able to get out of that, but you also want to maintain as

(35:59):
much positivity as possible. You want to get out of it, but
you also want. To grow and I want to look at it
as an opportunity for learning. That's how I transform what
could be viewed as a negative experience into a positive
experience. And everything we've experienced
in life, ultimately there is positivity there.
There's light there. It's not so easy to see it, but
that's the that's the challenge.That's the work we need to do.

(36:21):
That's why we're here. We're here to transform.
And by transforming ourselves, we transform the world.
That is our sole's purpose. I was having a conversation with
someone in business recently andthey were struggling with the
the tasks that were they were being assigned.
They didn't see why this was important.
I mean, it's very common among in any business situation, which

(36:45):
is hierarchical. You know, you're working for
somebody. And I'm like, yeah, I get it.
And I can see why it's difficultand why it's challenging and
might may even be painful. But we don't have the vision of
the guy sitting atop the pyramid, the hierarchy.
We don't have that person's vision.
And so to a certain degree, we just have to sometimes in work,

(37:06):
do things and accept the idea that it is what is best, even
though I don't have that higher perspective.
So even in that work situation where I have to do things
someone's telling me to do and Idon't understand right now, like
I know I need to know the purpose of being behind it.
Well, the purpose of being behind is you are advancing the
vision. And if you have faith and trust

(37:28):
in the person with the vision, that can be enough.
Like, I don't know why things happen in the world, but I have
a level of certainty that there is a creator and everything's
happening for a reason, even though I don't see that reason.
So it's on a macro, global spiritual perspective.
And it's also in the business. If you're working and if you

(37:48):
can't handle it, ultimately you're just an entrepreneur.
So just go to yourself. There's.
Always a catch up, which is amazing because if you want to
have the most purposeful and meaningful life, then you need
to figure out what your values are and create a life where
you're living those values. And it's not just in my

(38:11):
interpersonal or my communal work, it's in my business also,
like I want everything I do to reflect who I am.
If I'm picking up the skill sets, if I'm constant growing,
if I'm constantly advancing, then the money will follow.
And again, it's a way of leaningmore heavily into who you are.
And that's why it's so importantto like what this whole
conversation. What are the transferable

(38:32):
skills? What are my skills that we don't
have have the same skill set. I need to be present to what my
skills are. And everybody's a different.
We all have different roles to play.
And, and, and the same thing would go for how I view the
world. I, I want to make sure I'm not
viewing the world through someone else's lens, through
another story. This is from a book called The

(38:55):
Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Chasers by Debbie Ford.
She That's one of my favorite metaphors.
She says, imagine you're growingup in a house with 100 rooms,
and every day you pick a different roommates Unlimited.
Every day is amazing. You're playing in a different
room. And then one day when your
playmate says, I don't like thatroom, it's cold in there.
And you're like, it is cold. So you close the door.

(39:16):
And another day someone says, yeah, I don't like that room.
The paint is chipping, so you close the door.
You still have 98 rooms. Then a teacher says something
and a parent says something and life becomes a series of doors
that you close. What she says in the book is the
challenge is to go back and openeach of those doors because

(39:37):
behind each of them is a gift for you.
So I look at life like that, like where?
What doors have I closed? What opportunities have I closed
myself or from because of a, youknow, a really insignificant
time, but insignificant in the big picture I'm.
Going to think about that for a long time.

(39:57):
I'm going to have to I'll link the the book below, but the I'm
going to have to read that. It's powerful.
She also includes a bunch of, like, guided meditations.
I had some real freak experiences, like in someone's
meditations. Yeah.
Look, we're going to make mistakes.
We're going to make a lot of them.
If you're here, you're making mistakes.
I don't care who it is. They're not perfect.

(40:19):
Mother Teresa was not perfect. Nobody's perfect but and, and
what I was going to say is that some of those doors that have
been closed, you didn't close them, Somebody closed them on
your behalf. Well, they told you.
They told you something. They.
Bought their perspective and it's like, but it wasn't your
perspective, you were already inthere.
You didn't agree to never reopenthat door.

(40:40):
Well, how we're so influenced. Yeah, especially at a younger
age. Especially younger ages.
You think about the things that you were told or or said to you,
regardless of from whom, and themore important that person was
in your life, the more impactfulthat that was.
They say something to you and itleaves an impression forever
whether it was true or not. And if it was true, then doesn't
mean it's always true. I used to have, we're about to

(41:02):
really go down the rabbit hole. Yeah, I used to when I was
young. And I mean I think as early as
10/11, 12:13 I used to have panic attacks over the concept
of Infinity. Yeah.
It's an imponderable and I wouldget caught in a spiral of

(41:24):
pondering an aspect of Infinity.I would find myself in panic
decks and have to find ways to distract myself.
Why am I bringing it up? Because I could have closed the
door on that. Because it was traumatic.
For some reason I didn't, but I did because I didn't want to
have those panic attacks. I, I tried to constantly
marginalized it and run away from it.
And then when I started delving more into, you know, deeper

(41:46):
Jewish spiritual ideas, it's just the idea of end self, which
is, there's no end, which is oneof the names of the creator.
It's a kabbalistic concept, likewe live in a finite world.
It's not finite, it's infinite. And our ability to connect to
the infinite is a way of us bridging and rising over the

(42:09):
finite nice that we we encounter.
This isn't real. It's not real.
You're going to go out to space.You're going to What was the Jim
Carrey movie? The Truman Show.
Truman Show So like he sails offand he the boat hits a wall.
Like what? Like you're not sailing off in
the space and hitting the wall. It's endless.
You're we're literally and what about what if I take the

(42:30):
molecules and I go down to atom level and neuron, proton,
electron? How deep can I go?
I must hit an end, right? No, you don't hit an end.
It's endless within. It's endless without.
We are occupying a plane that's less than 1% of reality because
I've Infinity in both directions.
I mean, so like, again, let's just deconstruct reality.

(42:52):
And by the time when it was having these anxiety attacks, I
thought there was nothing wrong with me.
I mean, I'm always like internalizing it must be
something wrong with me. And there was no one to talk
about. Not only didn't I want to talk
about anyone to think about it, but I really think it was like,
you know, the creator calling out, hello, wake up in there.
There's a world out here that you really need to be open to.
And I'm like, what are you talking about?

(43:14):
I'm just trying. I'm just hoping my football team
wins on Sunday. Like, so, OK, ignore.
You know, you could ignore that stuff, but you're not living.
Also, like, I think back about like some of the more joyful
times in my life and I associatethem with places.
That wasn't the place. It was the energy I was feeling,

(43:39):
the energy of joy. It was set up in that place.
But I can set that up anywhere. I can literally experience joy
in other places. It wasn't that car which I have
memories of, let's say. It wasn't that house, the house
that we grew up in, which we're probably all remember the good
things anyhow. But but like, you know, I have
all this joy tied up with that that was limited to that place.

(44:02):
It's not about the place. There are things like, OK, I was
on a ride that was fun, right? But most likely the memories
that we have a vacation or a time and place that were joy.
It was because there was uninterrupted focused time that
you had with the people that youloved.
It's that made that elevated. Right, it's who you were with.
It's because it was an intentional decision to be doing
this together, right? OK, so do I want to accumulate

(44:23):
stuff or do I want to accumulatepeople right?
Or do I want to work on the relationships that are really
important to me? And by the way, as a parent, you
got to not. There's a lot to navigate as a
grandparent, as a grandparent, like I'm not disciplining you,
right? Right.

(44:43):
I'm unconditional love 24/7. You're kidding.
That's your parents job. I'll tell you in security, I go
to bed most nights regretting not spending more time with my
kids despite even having access to them daily and I'm blessed
for that. Like every night I go to bed
and, and whatever time it is andI'm like, why didn't, why don't

(45:03):
we hang out more? Why didn't I talk to them more?
I had an opportunity. They were on their phone in that
room and I was on my phone in this room and, and it's almost
every night. And it's kind of like that long
term vision we described earlier, whether it's the diet,
you know, exercising, going to the gym, long term investments,
planning for retirement. It's, it's you got to do the
work and be focused today with for a vision of what you hope to

(45:27):
achieve long term, the benefits and it's it's hard, you got to
do the work. You got to do it.
I used to just talking about that.
I I remember like I'm sure it frustrates you when the kids,
they don't shut lights off, they're not paying.
The No, of course not, right? So I was like, you used to drive
me nuts and I'm like, you know, I don't want to show up this
way. You know, the lights on means
the kids are in the house and you you're not that's not going
to be around forever. So just like totally reframe it

(45:49):
on and be yeah, it like it's again.
And really take a step back to look at it from a more abstract
standpoint, to examine my mindset and just say, you know
what, I'm going to find a different way to look at this,
something that's more positive. That's a great way to look at
it. It's better than my my version
was, especially with LE DS. Now I I OK, let me quantify what

(46:10):
the total possible output and cost would be annually.
And is that is that is that, is that worth the aggravation?
Is it worth the aggravation, thehigh blood pressure, the the the
you know the distance I'm creating with my child?
Like no it's not worth. That and it fits into like a lot
of other categories surrounding raising children is that it will
be important to them one day andthey'll figure it out, right?

(46:32):
So it's not like a life saving measure that you need to teach
them today. It doesn't matter.
They will figure that out. One of the most you know, your
kids are still younger so like but when they experience I bet
that's very heart warming is like when a kid will say to me,
I now hear you when I'm talking to my kids at times, I mean,
it's like. Hey, it took 20 years to get to

(46:52):
that point, but yeah. That's there's that expression.
The older you get, the smarter you get in the eyes of your
kids. I hope, I hope to to be there
one. Day.
Yeah. God willing.
Yeah, for sure. The reason I'm here is because
energetically we're aligned likethere, we have a similar

(47:13):
vibrational frequency. So when you walk into a room and
like you need to, we do this unconsciously.
We're sizing up the energy in the room.
You wouldn't call it that, but that's really what's happening.
What an end path does. This is a mod blower.
When an end path walks into an end path is someone who just
feels everybody. When an end path walks into the

(47:34):
room, you would think they'd be looking for the people who are
the most empathetic. Apparently not if they're
looking for who the biggest threat is in the world room and
and that's who they will at times connect with.
Why? Because they are threatened.

(47:54):
It's like they need, you know, keep your friends close, keep
your enemies closer. It's like that's the threat, you
know, I mean to be with them, but I'm I'm aware.
And also it's a lesson for the empath that you need to be aware
of your energy and energy because that threat is taking
your energy literally. Some people just energy sappers
like you know, you're with them and also you feel drained.

(48:15):
Why? Because I you don't want to do
that, right? Your energy is primarily for you
and then then to be shared in appropriate doses with the
people you interact. With.
So why don't you? Why don't you make a prediction?
How do you think I handle those situations or those types of
people? I know how you handle it.
Tell me you're you're you're drawing your attentions drawn

(48:36):
there. Yeah.
Yeah. So is mine.
I allow it. And, and I'm and I'm just saying
that's part of the vibrational frequency that's in common.
That's why we're connecting and you want to be with the people
you connect with because look atthe possibilities.
But you're saying I got? The baby steps that I have taken
towards being more authentic andin control of my energy.

(48:56):
The baby steps are I'm, I started with my calendar, my
time. So I haven't yet figured out how
to get to the point where it's my energy and my, my person.
Because things like I, I, I, I feed off other people's energy
in a positive course. Like I'm more creative, I'm more
energetic and I'm more satisfiedand fulfilled when I'm with

(49:17):
other people. And that's what gets me going.
But not everybody is fully awareor respectful of of other
people. Yeah, by the way.
Not the responsibility, it's ours.
That's correct. I'm not blaming that.
Again, I don't know what happened to him.
But I also feel deeply and I'm like this person wants my
attention right now and I'm going to give it whether I I'm

(49:39):
enjoying this conversation or not, right?
I'm going to make myself available because I feel for
them. They want this time with me or
this attention or just to ask anopinion or just just to shoot
the breeze, whatever it is. And I, and I allow that to
happen because I don't have yet the full confidence or control
over over worrying about dismissing somebody and making

(50:02):
them feel badly. Right.
OK. But you know, part of our
growing is also stopping to careabout what people think about
us, correct. And, and because 100% when you
care, when you care what people think about you, you're also
giving them energy. So like, it's like we, if you
start viewing the world as is this all energy.
And I need to maintain my energybecause I really have things I
have to do. So like, I, you know, there's

(50:24):
this idea in traditional Jewish circles, I'm going to go give
them some He'sic. I want to give you some He'sic.
It's like. Would you be like some stration
strength? He'sic.
It means strength. Sometimes all you're doing,
you're giving some He'sic, you're actually just listening
to them. You're giving them an
opportunity to speak. When you listen to somebody,
you're giving over energy. Now, if you listen too much,

(50:45):
it's draining. So like, I want to be mindful of
I'm just giving, I want to give people.
He's like, but I want to give people, he's like who I can do
it in a balanced way. Like I, I mean, that's what
transparency is about. I want to be real.
We're talking about, I want to be, I want to show up as
transparent. So knowing like your unique
abilities, knowing the actual light that you can bring into

(51:07):
the world is knowing yourself. Like if you had told me 20 years
ago, forget about the right brain, left brain thing.
If you're doing 20 years ago, David, the ultimate journey is
the journey within. I'd be like, whatever, whatever.
Where's my copy of the Walls newjournal Like?
But now it's like, yeah, in a book called Benema Shavatova,

(51:32):
written by the H Kodesh, the Piacetzna.
So the the Nima Shevakotova translates into the Society of
positive consciousness. So one of the things he says is,
and this one blew me away when Isaw it when I read it, he's
like, you know, every so often you have something like an
intuitive moment. You have some clarity, and then

(51:52):
you just move on. Oh, that's interesting.
You know, No, stop. Pause on our words.
Stick a pin in it. Bookmark it.
You want to honor it. You want to give it space.
It's a little drop of water thathits you on the head.
You want it raining on your head24/7.
So get yourself out of the way and just be present to what
you're hearing. Just listen to the messages.

(52:16):
Man, it's enlightenment. David, this is super fun.
I, I for sure can talk for another 2-3 hours on this and
many other topics. It's been great to have you
here. I just want to say thank you
again for pushing me outside of comfort zone and inspiring me to
do this in person today. It was definitely the right
choice. Yeah, well, I, I don't know.
It was just kind of like, you know, the the sense that I got

(52:38):
of things. And I think what you and your
words, first of all, thank you for having me.
I enjoyed it immensely. I mean, out of the comfort zone.
That's where it all takes place.I'll say good stuff.
All right. Thanks.
David, my pleasure. Thanks.
That was an incredibly fun episode.

(53:00):
As abstract as it was, given thesubject matter, it might go down
as one of my favorite conversations.
Truly inspirational. And I want to thank David
Strulowitz for being a guest on this episode.
I also want to thank you as our listeners for joining us on this
episode of Transferable Skills. Remember, the skills you've
gained can take you anywhere. Until next time, keep exploring

(53:23):
those transferable skills.

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