July 9, 2024 • 33 mins
Ever wondered how to build unshakable self-belief during challenging times?
Prepare to transform your mindset as we explore practical tips for staying positive, even when business feels slow.
Balancing a hectic summer of photography sessions, coaching, and mom duties, I'll share the secrets of juggling multiple roles without losing your sense of self. This episode promises actionable advice to ease your workload and help you maintain a resilient and positive outlook.
Discover the fascinating science behind self-belief as we delve into the workings of neuroplasticity and the reticular activating system (RAS). We'll also discuss the surprising impact of online consumption on the amygdala, and how understanding your brain’s response to triggers can help you stay focused on your goals.
Join us for a deep dive into how letting go and trusting the process can unlock new opportunities and prevent counterproductive resistance.
Remember, your beliefs shape your reality—so choose self-belief, keep growing, and know that I’m always cheering for you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Tried and True with a dash of woo, where
we blend rock solid tips with alittle bit of magic.
I'm Renee Bowen, your host,life and business coach and
professional photographer atyour service.
We are all about gettingcreative, diving into your
business and playing withmanifestation over here.
So are you ready to getinspired and have some fun?
Let's dive in.
Hey friends, happy Wednesday.
(00:26):
I hope you guys are having areally great summer and you're
staying as cool as humanlypossible.
It's been actually prettybrutal out here in Southern
California and, yeah, I'm kindof over it.
So hopefully you guys arebeating the heat and if you're a
photographer and you do have abunch of sessions, hopefully you
(00:46):
are able to either push them alittle bit or schedule them
early in the day or later in theday.
It's been kind of impossiblehere, even at the beach, but you
know what you got to do, whatyou got to do and thankfully I
have an amazing makeup artistwho works with me so she can do
all that she can to keepeverybody's skin looking as
(01:09):
sweat free as possible.
So between that and what I doin editing, I think we're good,
but hopefully you guys arehaving a good summer and finding
some time to rest.
Personally, I have not beenable to do that.
I'm hoping that sometime inAugust maybe maybe not till
September I'll be able to get alittle bit of rest in, but it's
(01:32):
all good.
I've got my kids home actuallyonce here, once coming in
tomorrow, and then they'releaving again and then coming
back, so there's a lot of runsto the airport as well.
So I'm playing a lot of youknow mom duties right now, in
addition to shooting and inaddition to doing some coaching.
(01:52):
So it's proving to be alreadyquite a busy summer for me, and
it's all good.
So today's podcast is going tobe a little short one for y'all
and I'm not doing any video forthis either just because I'm all
about making my life as easy aspossible right now, and I
suggest you do the same too.
So if there are some thingsthat you can cut out in your
(02:15):
business that are not going totruly affect your bottom line,
go ahead and do it.
You got to do what you got todo to get through, and if you're
in a busy season, just make ita little bit easier on yourself.
So today we're doing audio onlyand it's not going to be a
super long episode, but I didwant to dive into this topic
because I see a lot of you guysstruggling with it.
(02:37):
I hear it in my elevate groupsand just in general in my
Facebook groups too, and it'sthis idea of how in the world
are we going to, or are weexpected to, maybe feel really
good when everything around usseems not good.
I mean, I think that anyonewould agree right now that the
(03:01):
world is a little heavy.
It can feel a little crazy, andI know I talk a lot about how
important it is for us to staypositive and to stay on track
and to stay focused and eye onthe prize and all of that kind
of stuff.
But I also know that this mightbe a really hard time for a lot
(03:21):
of us to do that.
So I wanted to see if I couldhelp just a little bit with some
perspective on that and somestrategies as well.
And really what it kind of comesdown to, I think, is having a
strong self-belief.
So when you have a reallystrong core belief in yourself,
(03:43):
it is easier to stay in a morepositive state of mind when
things around you seem to begoing in the opposite direction.
But how do we do that, how dowe build a really strong
foundation and create that lifethat your soul is craving, this
really strong, unshakableself-belief, and how do you
(04:08):
maintain it during these crazytimes?
And, specifically, how do youbelieve in yourself when you
don't have proof that it'sworking?
Okay, that's really kind ofwhat it comes down to.
It's really easy to believe inyourself when you've got proof
that it's going well, like whenyour posts on social are hitting
, when you're getting a lot ofengagement, when those inquiries
(04:31):
are coming in, when things justfeel in flow.
It's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,this is it.
So it's easy to have thatself-belief when all of those
things are happening.
But it's really not easy whenit's slow, when the inquiries
are not necessarily coming in asquickly as you'd like, when it
feels like you're making postson social and literally no one
(04:54):
is listening and you're like,why am I even doing this?
Like none of this even makessense, it's pointless.
You know, it's a lot harder tohave it when all of that stuff
is going on.
So let's kind of start offreally quickly with this science
behind the self-belief and I doobviously love the scientific
(05:14):
part of it.
You guys know that if you'vebeen listening for a minute, I
think it's fascinating.
Our brains are really adaptablethanks to this concept called
neuroplasticity.
So that really means that ourbrains can rewire themselves
based on our thoughts, ourbehaviors and our experiences.
So when we are consistentlythinking positive, when we have
(05:37):
empowering thoughts, we createnew neural pathways that
reinforce those beliefs, andthere is a lot of scientific
proof behind all of this.
So the key player in thatprocess is the reticular
activating system, or the RAS.
You guys have probably heard metalk about this before, but the
(05:57):
RAS acts like a filter,focusing our attention on things
that align with our goals andour beliefs.
So if you believe you'recapable of achieving something,
your RAS is going to help younotice opportunities and
resources to make it happen.
And it's just like that thingyou know Tony Robbins always
(06:17):
talks about where you may not berecognizing all the red cars
when you're out on the roaddriving, but if I told you right
now I want you to count howmany red cars you see today, you
will be able to do that.
Your reticular activatingsystem is going to start
noticing it and even after thatassignment, you are just going
to start noticing more red cars,because we've sort of embedded
(06:40):
that into your brain and you'vecreated some new neural pathways
based on that.
So you can use this to youradvantage.
And one of the things that Ilike to do to sort of stimulate
or activate the RIS is to use itin maybe some journaling
(07:01):
processes as well.
So you know, definitelyoutlining the things that I want
to notice, that I want to seeAgain, when the world feels like
it's burning down around us,it's really easy to fall into
that unconscious programming.
And here's the other thing, too,is that anytime you are online
(07:24):
specifically because we knowthat that is a dopamine hit,
right, it really activates thatold part of your brain.
Okay, scrolling and scrollingand scrolling and just kind of
consuming various types ofcontent and not being active in
your content creation or activein your thought processes,
(07:46):
you're using your amygdala inyour brain.
So that is the lizard brain,the oldest part of your brain,
and that's where fight or flightlives, that is where all of the
safety mechanisms are builtinto, okay.
So, like this also has a lot todo with, just in general,
people being reactive, right,maybe you've got a client who's
(08:08):
unhappy with something or, uh,you know, just making weird
comments on your post oranything like that.
If you're triggering people withyour content or you're
triggering people with yourprices and they seem reactive,
they're acting from theiramygdala, from that fight or
flight, from that old lizardbrain.
(08:28):
They're not using their evolvedbrain, they're not using their
prefrontal cortex, because thatdoesn't form until you're much
older, right Like 25 years old.
So they're not thinkingconsciously.
They're allowing those oldprograms and their own old
experiences with money orwhatever it is that they're
(08:50):
being triggered about, to justhave this knee-jerk reaction, to
react very quickly withoutthinking right.
That's what that whole phrasecomes from is acting without
thinking or putting your foot inyour mouth, and that's really
what that is.
And it takes an evolved personand someone who is noticing
their thought patterns, someonewho has emotional intelligence
(09:13):
and who wants to betterthemselves, to be able to notice
that oh, that's not probablythe right reaction.
That's why it's always great tojust take a minute before
sending that email or respondingto that client.
Take a minute and come back toyour thinking brain, your
(09:34):
evolved brain, and don't letyour amygdala just run amok.
In other words, don't let yourunconscious mind drive the car
right, because most people do.
Don't let your unconscious minddrive the car right, because
most people do.
And coming back to thereticular activating system, we
can see that happen a lot online, where it's like if you're just
(09:55):
scrolling and scrolling andyou're consuming, you're
allowing that old part of yourbrain to really take control
your unconscious mind, yourdefense mechanism, your safety
mechanism to drive the car andyou're not acting from a place
of empowerment.
And that's really where youwant to be.
You want to be in a place ofempowerment.
(10:16):
So there's also thatself-fulfilling prophecy where
our beliefs will influence ouractions and our actions
influence our outcomes.
So if you believe that you aredestined for success, or you can
make the kind of money that youwant to make, or you are good
at sales, or you are a happyperson, or that the world is
(10:42):
inherently good or whatever thatis, you're more likely to take
actions to lead to that outcomethat are going to further
reinforce that belief.
So one of the best things youcan do is to set that tone of
the day, and I know I've talkedabout this before and some of
these non-negotiables that I'lldo, and one of them is setting
(11:03):
that tone for my day.
I really don't like to just hopon my phone and just start
consuming right away, becausethat's really a fast track to
being in reactive mode all daylong and that's not a great
place to be.
So this could be as easy astaking five minutes to just
write out two statements of yourintentions for the day, so that
(11:26):
way you can train yourreticular activating system to
look for the things you want itto look for and not the other
way around.
And yes, even when you don'tbook that client or you don't
get the job or you knowsomething else pops up, life is
going to life.
So even when any of those thingshappen, you always can come
(11:51):
back to your place of beingcentered and being focused.
You can come back to where youwant to be.
And if you are writing it downand if you are journaling it,
it's easier for you to flip thatpage and get back on track
because it's in physical form.
It's a lot harder to do ifyou're keeping it all in your
(12:13):
head, you know, because it'seasy for you to just not
remember.
First of all, a lot of neurospicy brains.
You're not going to rememberall the things that come in and
out of there.
So if you write it down and youset those intentions and you
journal a little bit about it,you're going to have an easier
point of reference to actuallylook back on and that's also
(12:38):
really helpful just in where youwant to go, because then you
don't have to repeat it.
So tying this piece of thescience, part of it, the RAS
into the manifestation and themagic part of it, when we really
align our thoughts and ourbeliefs with our desires, we do
start to attract those verythings into our lives, because
(13:00):
that's just energetics and it'sabout tuning your vibration to
match the frequency of what youwant to manifest.
And guess what?
The science of neuroplasticityand the power of the RAS are
your allies in this process.
You have the power inside ofyou already, okay, so you will
(13:22):
get how you feel.
You will get back what you are,but what you are emitting, the
vibration that you are emitting.
So when you are outlining thesethings in a journal and you're
setting the tone for your day,you are tuning your vibration.
You are changing that signatureof energy that you're emitting
(13:46):
out into the universe so that itwill come back to you.
The other part of it is lettingit go.
That's.
The other thing about it isthat if you hold so tightly to
it and you're so like um,grasped onto it, it's going to
be really counterproductive,because what you resist persists
.
So, finding that, that balanceof desire and intention, and
(14:12):
then letting it go and trustingthat it is already yours and
believing that the universe doeswork in your favor and it is it
is always for you.
What is for you is for you,always so, maintaining this
self-belief when things don't goyour way, when sometimes the
exact opposite of what youwanted to happen just happened.
(14:35):
That's where resilience andadaptability really come into
play, and it's about moving withcertainty that this is who you
are, this is where you're goingand this is how life gets to be
for you.
So one strategy is to reframesetbacks as opportunities for
growth and, instead of seeing afailure as proof that you're not
(14:56):
capable for growth, and insteadof seeing a failure as proof
that you're not capable, view itas a learning experience that
brings you one step closer toyour goal.
Again, this goes back towhether you're allowing your
amygdala to run the show, yourunconscious mind, or your
prefrontal cortex, your thinkingbrain, because if you are
operating from an unconsciousplace and you're allowing that
(15:19):
fight or flight mechanism to runthe show.
You will see everything asproof that you're not capable.
Because what happens is whenyou're in that fight or flight,
pretty much consistently all theblood flow goes to your limbs
and your legs so that you canget out, you can get away, you
(15:40):
can run or you can freeze orwhatever.
But it's not.
It's not in your brain, likethere's a literal blood flow
decrease from your thinkingbrain, so you're not going to be
thinking clearly.
That's why we want to get youto a place of feeling centered
and calm and regulated, so youcan make those decisions from
(16:03):
that prefrontal cortex and notfrom the amygdala, not that knee
jerk reaction.
And a really great way to dothat is to practice gratitude,
you know, focusing on what'sgoing well and the progress that
you've made, no matter howsmall, because even small little
pieces make such a hugedifference.
This is a really key factor inmaintaining that positive
(16:23):
mindset, and you're not onlyhelping yourself with this, but
you're also raising thevibration of everybody around
you when you do that, becausethis collective energy can
create a ripple effect and itdoes influence those around you
and the world in a positive way.
It really does.
So here's some practicaltechniques that are grounded in
(16:45):
neuroscience and energy workthat will help strengthen this
self-belief.
Visualization Spend a fewminutes every day visualizing
and feeling.
It can't just be the vision,you have to actually feel it.
Visualizing and feeling yourgoals as if they are already
(17:08):
achieved.
Feel the emotions of thatsuccess and let that energy
guide you.
I cannot stress how importantthis is.
You have to be able to feelwhat it feels like.
So this is your permission todaydream.
This is, you know, thepermission to allow yourself to
(17:28):
go big with it, and I know thatsociety has tried to tell us
that that is not conducive to aproductive and efficient life,
but it's that's not true.
It's not true.
Visualizing and feeling into thelife that you want, that you
desire, is such a fast track toit, and it's a really fast
(17:54):
reframe, right when I'm feelingparticularly not great, when I
have allowed myself to consumetoo much crap on the internet or
just things have not gone myway Like there's.
You know, there's been a fewthings in the last, like three
months in particular, that havejust been not what I would have
(18:16):
desired, um, things outside ofmy control, and for somebody who
is a control freak, that's nofun, right?
I know a lot of you guys canidentify with that and full
transparency.
Yeah, that's what happenssometimes.
I do think I have a prettystrong self-belief, but
sometimes I'm just not there,and so this is a really fast
(18:41):
little reframe for me.
I will force myself to sit invisualization and allow myself
to just dream up what I want andthen feel how I'm going to feel
when I have it, because it isalready mine.
I really do believe that if wehave the idea for something, if
(19:04):
we have the inclination forsomething, that a version of
ourselves has already createdthat and we just simply need to
match the vibration.
And that's how you do it.
And you can add someaffirmations to this as well
Create some really positivestatements about yourself and
your goals and then repeat themdaily, but the key again is to
(19:25):
feel it.
Affirmations by themselves justdon't really work that well,
but they can be used inconjunction with that
visualization.
Obviously, practicingmindfulness and staying in the
moment is a really big one.
I have a whole podcast aboutjust that, because that's all we
really have.
(19:45):
The moment right now is all wereally have.
The future doesn't exist yetthe past doesn't exist, like,
yes, there's all these differenttimelines.
If we you that which I do, butwe tend to fall into this
overthinking, overactive anxietystuff when we get caught up in
the future stuff.
(20:05):
So bring yourself back to themoment.
And if it's really hard for youto do that, literally all you
need to do is just sit down fora second and say, okay, how many
pink items do I notice rightnow?
How many blue things?
What does the grass feel likeon my feet?
For that matter, grounding andgrass is a really, really fast,
(20:27):
awesome thing to do, andsometimes, when I only have a
few minutes, I'll just runoutside really fast, take my
shoes off and let my feet be onthe grass, because there is a
lot of scientific research thatdoes back up that.
There's a lot of positive ionsthere.
There's a reason they call itgrounding.
So if that's all you can do, dothat, but being mindful and
(20:52):
staying in the moment and justbeing grateful for what you have
.
Like.
Thank you for the roof over myhead, thank you for the food
that I have in my fridge.
Don't go to the place of likewell, it's not as much as I'd
like it to be right.
Like then you're letting thatamygdala take over, just be
thankful for the things that youdo have Grateful and feel it.
(21:12):
That's the other key, just likewe were talking about before
with the visualization, feelingthat gratefulness, like really,
what does it feel like?
What does it feel like to feelso grateful to have a bed to
sleep in and a roof over yourhead and healthy kids or
whatever it is?
(21:33):
So meditation is definitely abig part of the mindfulness
thing too.
When you do a lot of meditation, it's easier for you to act and
react from a place ofmindfulness.
I already mentioned journaling,but I'm going to mention it one
more time because it is ascientific thing.
When you write down yourthoughts and your progress and
(21:55):
any of your positive experiencesand the things that you want,
this really does help reinforceyour beliefs and it does help
you track the journey.
I love looking back at my oldjournals.
Some of them are so cringy like, oh my God, like what?
What was I thinking?
But it's such a great place tobe, to like, have that 30,000
foot view of like.
(22:16):
I've been looking back at someof my very old journals, like
from 20 plus years ago and thatis.
That is something let me tellyou, because it's a really
beautiful exercise inself-compassion, which I also
think is a really big part ofthis self-belief.
We are so quick to judgeourselves and so quick to like
(22:36):
beat ourselves up when reallyjust we need is some reparenting
and some self-compassion.
Okay, cause, like most of usjust didn't get that, and even
even from great families I havea great family, but there are
definitely things that I lookback on from these journals of
like 25 years ago and I'm like,oh girl, I'm so sorry, you know
(22:58):
what I mean Like I really wishthat you didn't have to feel
that or you didn't have to gothrough that, but it also
brought me to where I am rightnow.
So being grateful for it andbeing grateful for the growth
through all that crap is huge.
Also, looking back and going,wow, I've grown a lot, like I've
(23:19):
really not just matured,obviously, I mean, obviously I'm
chronologically older, butthere's been so much like
emotional growth since that partof my life and it's so cool to
look back and see all the littlepieces of that puzzle right,
(23:44):
like, oh, okay, yes, if I hadn'ttaken that class or, you know,
enrolled in that Reiki class orlearned hypnosis or whatever it
is like, I might not be asstrong in my self-belief as I am
now and I'm so grateful that Iam, but really I think that the
(24:04):
looking back on old journals isjust a really beautiful practice
in reparenting yourself andgiving that version of yourself
love.
Because, remember, if time isnot linear and it's all
happening at the same time, thenthat version of you is still
there.
That version of me 20 plusyears ago is still in that place
(24:26):
and so I can like pop in andsay, hey, we got this, just so
you know, we got through thatand you learned so much and if
you could see where you are now,you would not be feeling like
this right now.
So I love you, you're doing agreat job.
Keep going, it gets better.
(24:48):
Right Like I love that.
It gets better.
Trend on TikTok, Like it's sotrue.
So pop into that youngerversion of yourself and give
yourself some love.
That's a really great thing todo with self-belief and,
honestly, all of this is tied toimposter syndrome, by the way.
Like in general, I feel likeimposter syndrome and feeling
(25:09):
like you just don't have it alltogether comes from not having a
very strong belief in yourselfand not having a deep sense of
self-love because of the thingsthat were either done to us or
the beliefs that we sucked in aschildren, and it all is tied
(25:31):
into our survival instincts sothat when we do something that
doesn't feel safe, you knowsomething new, something we've
never done before.
It's not going to feel safe.
So all of these things kick inand it triggers that feeling of
not safety, which brings upanxiety and all of that stuff.
(25:52):
So all of this stuff that we'retalking about today is very
much tied to your impostersyndrome.
That we're talking about todayis very much tied to your
imposter syndrome, and thestronger self-belief you have,
the easier it is for you to movethrough anything in life, the
easier it is for you to lookaround you and not be as
affected and the easier it isfor you to show up when it is
(26:15):
scary and to keep doing it evenwhen it is scary.
The other thing you can do is Ithink I talked about this here
before, but it's a reallypowerful exercise is to write a
letter to yourself from thefuture.
Okay, so really allow yourselfto dream up what it is that you
(26:38):
want and then write that letterto yourself as if like a year
from now, and talk about all theawesome things that have
happened in the past yearmeaning from now until next year
right, create that actualfeeling and vision for yourself.
So if you have a hard timevisualizing it, this could be a
(26:59):
really fun thing to do, becauseit makes it a little bit easier
when you put yourself in thatposition of like, okay, future
me is writing this to me now.
What did we learn?
What did we do?
What are all the amazing thingsthat we accomplished?
What are some of the thingsthat we were able to like
discover about ourselves in thatyear that we may not know now?
(27:22):
So that's a really fun way toembed that stuff in your
unconscious mind and thenscripting it too.
So like writing out your goalsand desires in the present tense
, like as if they've alreadyhappened, act as if it's already
happened.
So I have created this amazingbusiness.
I have, you know, 12 clientsper month consistently.
(27:45):
I make $30,000 a monthconsistently.
I'm so grateful that I ambringing in $30,000 a month
consistently.
Whatever it is, I'm just kindof throwing some stuff out there
for you to see what I'm talkingabout, but be clear with it.
Stuff out there for you to seewhat I'm talking about.
But be clear with it, and Iknow that for a lot of you guys,
when you start doing that workespecially when it comes to like
(28:06):
adding, the monetary part of itis going to feel really scary,
right, it's going to, it's goingto trigger all of that survival
stuff.
So just know that that's normal.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
(28:26):
Be the neutral observer and say, okay, yeah, that's interesting
, I got some more work to dothere and I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
Part of this, of this, too, likeone of my favorite sayings that
I have to just kind of say tomyself a lot sometimes is that
nobody's coming to save youexcept you.
Right, you can be your own hero, and that's what this
(28:50):
self-belief is all about isbeing your own hero.
Yes, a lot of us have greatsupport systems.
We have amazing spouses ormentors who are helping us be
the person we want to be.
That's awesome.
I hope that you have at leastone person in your life that you
can rely on like that.
So that's not what I reallymean by like no one's coming to
(29:12):
save you.
At the end of the day, no oneis coming to do the work for you
.
You do need to do these thingsto get yourself to where you
want to go, but it doesn't meanyou have to beat yourself up
about it Because, remember, yourintuition is never going to be
a jerk.
It's not going to be mean.
It definitely can be forceful,but it's not going to be mean.
(29:37):
So if you've got a mean, nastyvoice in there, your internal
saying right, your internalsaboteur, that's not your
intuition, that is not.
That is your built-in safetymechanism, that is the amygdala,
the old brain.
There's a lot of different waysto frame that, but it is not
your intuition and it is notyour higher self.
(29:59):
Your higher self wants you tobe happy and successful and
loving and living a beautifullife.
So creating this unshakableself-belief is going to help you
achieve these dreams and goalsso much faster.
And the main thing that I reallywant you guys to get from this
little episode today is thathaving a strong self-belief is
(30:20):
what gets you through everythingthat we're going through right
now.
Like I said, it's really easyto believe in yourself when
things are going well, but whenit's not going well, that's when
it's really important, becausethe self-belief is really
crucial for creating the lifethat you desire, even when you
don't have immediate proof ofits effectiveness, and by
(30:42):
understanding the science behindthe self-belief and
implementing these practicaltechniques, you can rewire your
brain for success.
This is a lot of what I doinside of coaching.
Again, not everything works foreach person.
For some people, journaling islike magic.
For other people it justdoesn't stick.
You've got to find what worksfor you, and a good coach is not
(31:05):
going to just tell you hey,this is, this is exactly what
you should do.
It works exactly for me, itworks for all my clients, it's
going to work exactly for youtoo.
That's not the case, you know.
That's what it means to reallywork one-on-one with someone is
to dig in and figure out howit's going to work for you.
So if you're ready to transcendthe unconscious thoughts and
(31:26):
patterns and behaviors that areholding you back, I invite you
to explore some of my coachingprograms.
I do have Elevate, which is agroup coaching program, and I do
have a one-on-one program.
But we don't always acceptone-on-one clients year round
and I did pull back on thatcurrently because I've just got
(31:47):
a lot going on.
But you can always reach outand get on my wait list and just
inquire about that programbecause I love working with
people one-on-one.
It is probably the mostfulfilling work that I do,
because I really love seeingthose light bulbs go off and I
love working with peopleone-on-one.
It is probably the mostfulfilling work that I do,
because I really love seeingthose light bulbs go off and I
love seeing people make thesechanges.
I get DMs from past clients allthe time letting me know hey, I
(32:09):
know we haven't worked togetherin the last six months, but
here's all the things that havehappened.
That's like the best thing ever.
But regardless of however you doit, I want you to build an
unshakable self-belief so thatyou can achieve your dreams.
I know you can do it.
I see proof of it every day andyou are going to find proof of
whatever you're looking forthanks to that reticular
(32:30):
activating system.
So what are you looking for?
Your beliefs are going to shapeyour reality.
Choose to believe in yourself,no matter what, and until next
time, keep growing, expandingand evolving.
You've got this and I am alwayscheering for you.
So until next time, love you.
Welcome to Tried and True with a dash of woo, where
we blend rock solid tips with alittle bit of magic.
I'm Renee Bowen, your host,life and business coach and
professional photographer atyour service.
We are all about gettingcreative, diving into your
business and playing withmanifestation over here.
So are you ready to getinspired and have some fun?
Let's dive in.
Hey friends, happy Wednesday.
(00:26):
I hope you guys are having areally great summer and you're
staying as cool as humanlypossible.
It's been actually prettybrutal out here in Southern
California and, yeah, I'm kindof over it.
So hopefully you guys arebeating the heat and if you're a
photographer and you do have abunch of sessions, hopefully you
(00:46):
are able to either push them alittle bit or schedule them
early in the day or later in theday.
It's been kind of impossiblehere, even at the beach, but you
know what you got to do, whatyou got to do and thankfully I
have an amazing makeup artistwho works with me so she can do
all that she can to keepeverybody's skin looking as
(01:09):
sweat free as possible.
So between that and what I doin editing, I think we're good,
but hopefully you guys arehaving a good summer and finding
some time to rest.
Personally, I have not beenable to do that.
I'm hoping that sometime inAugust maybe maybe not till
September I'll be able to get alittle bit of rest in, but it's
(01:32):
all good.
I've got my kids home actuallyonce here, once coming in
tomorrow, and then they'releaving again and then coming
back, so there's a lot of runsto the airport as well.
So I'm playing a lot of youknow mom duties right now, in
addition to shooting and inaddition to doing some coaching.
(01:52):
So it's proving to be alreadyquite a busy summer for me, and
it's all good.
So today's podcast is going tobe a little short one for y'all
and I'm not doing any video forthis either just because I'm all
about making my life as easy aspossible right now, and I
suggest you do the same too.
So if there are some thingsthat you can cut out in your
(02:15):
business that are not going totruly affect your bottom line,
go ahead and do it.
You got to do what you got todo to get through, and if you're
in a busy season, just make ita little bit easier on yourself.
So today we're doing audio onlyand it's not going to be a
super long episode, but I didwant to dive into this topic
because I see a lot of you guysstruggling with it.
(02:37):
I hear it in my elevate groupsand just in general in my
Facebook groups too, and it'sthis idea of how in the world
are we going to, or are weexpected to, maybe feel really
good when everything around usseems not good.
I mean, I think that anyonewould agree right now that the
(03:01):
world is a little heavy.
It can feel a little crazy, andI know I talk a lot about how
important it is for us to staypositive and to stay on track
and to stay focused and eye onthe prize and all of that kind
of stuff.
But I also know that this mightbe a really hard time for a lot
(03:21):
of us to do that.
So I wanted to see if I couldhelp just a little bit with some
perspective on that and somestrategies as well.
And really what it kind of comesdown to, I think, is having a
strong self-belief.
So when you have a reallystrong core belief in yourself,
(03:43):
it is easier to stay in a morepositive state of mind when
things around you seem to begoing in the opposite direction.
But how do we do that, how dowe build a really strong
foundation and create that lifethat your soul is craving, this
really strong, unshakableself-belief, and how do you
(04:08):
maintain it during these crazytimes?
And, specifically, how do youbelieve in yourself when you
don't have proof that it'sworking?
Okay, that's really kind ofwhat it comes down to.
It's really easy to believe inyourself when you've got proof
that it's going well, like whenyour posts on social are hitting
, when you're getting a lot ofengagement, when those inquiries
(04:31):
are coming in, when things justfeel in flow.
It's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,this is it.
So it's easy to have thatself-belief when all of those
things are happening.
But it's really not easy whenit's slow, when the inquiries
are not necessarily coming in asquickly as you'd like, when it
feels like you're making postson social and literally no one
(04:54):
is listening and you're like,why am I even doing this?
Like none of this even makessense, it's pointless.
You know, it's a lot harder tohave it when all of that stuff
is going on.
So let's kind of start offreally quickly with this science
behind the self-belief and I doobviously love the scientific
(05:14):
part of it.
You guys know that if you'vebeen listening for a minute, I
think it's fascinating.
Our brains are really adaptablethanks to this concept called
neuroplasticity.
So that really means that ourbrains can rewire themselves
based on our thoughts, ourbehaviors and our experiences.
So when we are consistentlythinking positive, when we have
(05:37):
empowering thoughts, we createnew neural pathways that
reinforce those beliefs, andthere is a lot of scientific
proof behind all of this.
So the key player in thatprocess is the reticular
activating system, or the RAS.
You guys have probably heard metalk about this before, but the
(05:57):
RAS acts like a filter,focusing our attention on things
that align with our goals andour beliefs.
So if you believe you'recapable of achieving something,
your RAS is going to help younotice opportunities and
resources to make it happen.
And it's just like that thingyou know Tony Robbins always
(06:17):
talks about where you may not berecognizing all the red cars
when you're out on the roaddriving, but if I told you right
now I want you to count howmany red cars you see today, you
will be able to do that.
Your reticular activatingsystem is going to start
noticing it and even after thatassignment, you are just going
to start noticing more red cars,because we've sort of embedded
(06:40):
that into your brain and you'vecreated some new neural pathways
based on that.
So you can use this to youradvantage.
And one of the things that Ilike to do to sort of stimulate
or activate the RIS is to use itin maybe some journaling
(07:01):
processes as well.
So you know, definitelyoutlining the things that I want
to notice, that I want to seeAgain, when the world feels like
it's burning down around us,it's really easy to fall into
that unconscious programming.
And here's the other thing, too,is that anytime you are online
(07:24):
specifically because we knowthat that is a dopamine hit,
right, it really activates thatold part of your brain.
Okay, scrolling and scrollingand scrolling and just kind of
consuming various types ofcontent and not being active in
your content creation or activein your thought processes,
(07:46):
you're using your amygdala inyour brain.
So that is the lizard brain,the oldest part of your brain,
and that's where fight or flightlives, that is where all of the
safety mechanisms are builtinto, okay.
So, like this also has a lot todo with, just in general,
people being reactive, right,maybe you've got a client who's
(08:08):
unhappy with something or, uh,you know, just making weird
comments on your post oranything like that.
If you're triggering people withyour content or you're
triggering people with yourprices and they seem reactive,
they're acting from theiramygdala, from that fight or
flight, from that old lizardbrain.
(08:28):
They're not using their evolvedbrain, they're not using their
prefrontal cortex, because thatdoesn't form until you're much
older, right Like 25 years old.
So they're not thinkingconsciously.
They're allowing those oldprograms and their own old
experiences with money orwhatever it is that they're
(08:50):
being triggered about, to justhave this knee-jerk reaction, to
react very quickly withoutthinking right.
That's what that whole phrasecomes from is acting without
thinking or putting your foot inyour mouth, and that's really
what that is.
And it takes an evolved personand someone who is noticing
their thought patterns, someonewho has emotional intelligence
(09:13):
and who wants to betterthemselves, to be able to notice
that oh, that's not probablythe right reaction.
That's why it's always great tojust take a minute before
sending that email or respondingto that client.
Take a minute and come back toyour thinking brain, your
(09:34):
evolved brain, and don't letyour amygdala just run amok.
In other words, don't let yourunconscious mind drive the car
right, because most people do.
Don't let your unconscious minddrive the car right, because
most people do.
And coming back to thereticular activating system, we
can see that happen a lot online, where it's like if you're just
(09:55):
scrolling and scrolling andyou're consuming, you're
allowing that old part of yourbrain to really take control
your unconscious mind, yourdefense mechanism, your safety
mechanism to drive the car andyou're not acting from a place
of empowerment.
And that's really where youwant to be.
You want to be in a place ofempowerment.
(10:16):
So there's also thatself-fulfilling prophecy where
our beliefs will influence ouractions and our actions
influence our outcomes.
So if you believe that you aredestined for success, or you can
make the kind of money that youwant to make, or you are good
at sales, or you are a happyperson, or that the world is
(10:42):
inherently good or whatever thatis, you're more likely to take
actions to lead to that outcomethat are going to further
reinforce that belief.
So one of the best things youcan do is to set that tone of
the day, and I know I've talkedabout this before and some of
these non-negotiables that I'lldo, and one of them is setting
(11:03):
that tone for my day.
I really don't like to just hopon my phone and just start
consuming right away, becausethat's really a fast track to
being in reactive mode all daylong and that's not a great
place to be.
So this could be as easy astaking five minutes to just
write out two statements of yourintentions for the day, so that
(11:26):
way you can train yourreticular activating system to
look for the things you want itto look for and not the other
way around.
And yes, even when you don'tbook that client or you don't
get the job or you knowsomething else pops up, life is
going to life.
So even when any of those thingshappen, you always can come
(11:51):
back to your place of beingcentered and being focused.
You can come back to where youwant to be.
And if you are writing it downand if you are journaling it,
it's easier for you to flip thatpage and get back on track
because it's in physical form.
It's a lot harder to do ifyou're keeping it all in your
(12:13):
head, you know, because it'seasy for you to just not
remember.
First of all, a lot of neurospicy brains.
You're not going to rememberall the things that come in and
out of there.
So if you write it down and youset those intentions and you
journal a little bit about it,you're going to have an easier
point of reference to actuallylook back on and that's also
(12:38):
really helpful just in where youwant to go, because then you
don't have to repeat it.
So tying this piece of thescience, part of it, the RAS
into the manifestation and themagic part of it, when we really
align our thoughts and ourbeliefs with our desires, we do
start to attract those verythings into our lives, because
(13:00):
that's just energetics and it'sabout tuning your vibration to
match the frequency of what youwant to manifest.
And guess what?
The science of neuroplasticityand the power of the RAS are
your allies in this process.
You have the power inside ofyou already, okay, so you will
(13:22):
get how you feel.
You will get back what you are,but what you are emitting, the
vibration that you are emitting.
So when you are outlining thesethings in a journal and you're
setting the tone for your day,you are tuning your vibration.
You are changing that signatureof energy that you're emitting
(13:46):
out into the universe so that itwill come back to you.
The other part of it is lettingit go.
That's.
The other thing about it isthat if you hold so tightly to
it and you're so like um,grasped onto it, it's going to
be really counterproductive,because what you resist persists
.
So, finding that, that balanceof desire and intention, and
(14:12):
then letting it go and trustingthat it is already yours and
believing that the universe doeswork in your favor and it is it
is always for you.
What is for you is for you,always so, maintaining this
self-belief when things don't goyour way, when sometimes the
exact opposite of what youwanted to happen just happened.
(14:35):
That's where resilience andadaptability really come into
play, and it's about moving withcertainty that this is who you
are, this is where you're goingand this is how life gets to be
for you.
So one strategy is to reframesetbacks as opportunities for
growth and, instead of seeing afailure as proof that you're not
(14:56):
capable for growth, and insteadof seeing a failure as proof
that you're not capable, view itas a learning experience that
brings you one step closer toyour goal.
Again, this goes back towhether you're allowing your
amygdala to run the show, yourunconscious mind, or your
prefrontal cortex, your thinkingbrain, because if you are
operating from an unconsciousplace and you're allowing that
(15:19):
fight or flight mechanism to runthe show.
You will see everything asproof that you're not capable.
Because what happens is whenyou're in that fight or flight,
pretty much consistently all theblood flow goes to your limbs
and your legs so that you canget out, you can get away, you
(15:40):
can run or you can freeze orwhatever.
But it's not.
It's not in your brain, likethere's a literal blood flow
decrease from your thinkingbrain, so you're not going to be
thinking clearly.
That's why we want to get youto a place of feeling centered
and calm and regulated, so youcan make those decisions from
(16:03):
that prefrontal cortex and notfrom the amygdala, not that knee
jerk reaction.
And a really great way to dothat is to practice gratitude,
you know, focusing on what'sgoing well and the progress that
you've made, no matter howsmall, because even small little
pieces make such a hugedifference.
This is a really key factor inmaintaining that positive
(16:23):
mindset, and you're not onlyhelping yourself with this, but
you're also raising thevibration of everybody around
you when you do that, becausethis collective energy can
create a ripple effect and itdoes influence those around you
and the world in a positive way.
It really does.
So here's some practicaltechniques that are grounded in
(16:45):
neuroscience and energy workthat will help strengthen this
self-belief.
Visualization Spend a fewminutes every day visualizing
and feeling.
It can't just be the vision,you have to actually feel it.
Visualizing and feeling yourgoals as if they are already
(17:08):
achieved.
Feel the emotions of thatsuccess and let that energy
guide you.
I cannot stress how importantthis is.
You have to be able to feelwhat it feels like.
So this is your permission todaydream.
This is, you know, thepermission to allow yourself to
(17:28):
go big with it, and I know thatsociety has tried to tell us
that that is not conducive to aproductive and efficient life,
but it's that's not true.
It's not true.
Visualizing and feeling into thelife that you want, that you
desire, is such a fast track toit, and it's a really fast
(17:54):
reframe, right when I'm feelingparticularly not great, when I
have allowed myself to consumetoo much crap on the internet or
just things have not gone myway Like there's.
You know, there's been a fewthings in the last, like three
months in particular, that havejust been not what I would have
(18:16):
desired, um, things outside ofmy control, and for somebody who
is a control freak, that's nofun, right?
I know a lot of you guys canidentify with that and full
transparency.
Yeah, that's what happenssometimes.
I do think I have a prettystrong self-belief, but
sometimes I'm just not there,and so this is a really fast
(18:41):
little reframe for me.
I will force myself to sit invisualization and allow myself
to just dream up what I want andthen feel how I'm going to feel
when I have it, because it isalready mine.
I really do believe that if wehave the idea for something, if
(19:04):
we have the inclination forsomething, that a version of
ourselves has already createdthat and we just simply need to
match the vibration.
And that's how you do it.
And you can add someaffirmations to this as well
Create some really positivestatements about yourself and
your goals and then repeat themdaily, but the key again is to
(19:25):
feel it.
Affirmations by themselves justdon't really work that well,
but they can be used inconjunction with that
visualization.
Obviously, practicingmindfulness and staying in the
moment is a really big one.
I have a whole podcast aboutjust that, because that's all we
really have.
(19:45):
The moment right now is all wereally have.
The future doesn't exist yetthe past doesn't exist, like,
yes, there's all these differenttimelines.
If we you that which I do, butwe tend to fall into this
overthinking, overactive anxietystuff when we get caught up in
the future stuff.
(20:05):
So bring yourself back to themoment.
And if it's really hard for youto do that, literally all you
need to do is just sit down fora second and say, okay, how many
pink items do I notice rightnow?
How many blue things?
What does the grass feel likeon my feet?
For that matter, grounding andgrass is a really, really fast,
(20:27):
awesome thing to do, andsometimes, when I only have a
few minutes, I'll just runoutside really fast, take my
shoes off and let my feet be onthe grass, because there is a
lot of scientific research thatdoes back up that.
There's a lot of positive ionsthere.
There's a reason they call itgrounding.
So if that's all you can do, dothat, but being mindful and
(20:52):
staying in the moment and justbeing grateful for what you have
.
Like.
Thank you for the roof over myhead, thank you for the food
that I have in my fridge.
Don't go to the place of likewell, it's not as much as I'd
like it to be right.
Like then you're letting thatamygdala take over, just be
thankful for the things that youdo have Grateful and feel it.
(21:12):
That's the other key, just likewe were talking about before
with the visualization, feelingthat gratefulness, like really,
what does it feel like?
What does it feel like to feelso grateful to have a bed to
sleep in and a roof over yourhead and healthy kids or
whatever it is?
(21:33):
So meditation is definitely abig part of the mindfulness
thing too.
When you do a lot of meditation, it's easier for you to act and
react from a place ofmindfulness.
I already mentioned journaling,but I'm going to mention it one
more time because it is ascientific thing.
When you write down yourthoughts and your progress and
(21:55):
any of your positive experiencesand the things that you want,
this really does help reinforceyour beliefs and it does help
you track the journey.
I love looking back at my oldjournals.
Some of them are so cringy like, oh my God, like what?
What was I thinking?
But it's such a great place tobe, to like, have that 30,000
foot view of like.
(22:16):
I've been looking back at someof my very old journals, like
from 20 plus years ago and thatis.
That is something let me tellyou, because it's a really
beautiful exercise inself-compassion, which I also
think is a really big part ofthis self-belief.
We are so quick to judgeourselves and so quick to like
(22:36):
beat ourselves up when reallyjust we need is some reparenting
and some self-compassion.
Okay, cause, like most of usjust didn't get that, and even
even from great families I havea great family, but there are
definitely things that I lookback on from these journals of
like 25 years ago and I'm like,oh girl, I'm so sorry, you know
(22:58):
what I mean Like I really wishthat you didn't have to feel
that or you didn't have to gothrough that, but it also
brought me to where I am rightnow.
So being grateful for it andbeing grateful for the growth
through all that crap is huge.
Also, looking back and going,wow, I've grown a lot, like I've
(23:19):
really not just matured,obviously, I mean, obviously I'm
chronologically older, butthere's been so much like
emotional growth since that partof my life and it's so cool to
look back and see all the littlepieces of that puzzle right,
(23:44):
like, oh, okay, yes, if I hadn'ttaken that class or, you know,
enrolled in that Reiki class orlearned hypnosis or whatever it
is like, I might not be asstrong in my self-belief as I am
now and I'm so grateful that Iam, but really I think that the
(24:04):
looking back on old journals isjust a really beautiful practice
in reparenting yourself andgiving that version of yourself
love.
Because, remember, if time isnot linear and it's all
happening at the same time, thenthat version of you is still
there.
That version of me 20 plusyears ago is still in that place
(24:26):
and so I can like pop in andsay, hey, we got this, just so
you know, we got through thatand you learned so much and if
you could see where you are now,you would not be feeling like
this right now.
So I love you, you're doing agreat job.
Keep going, it gets better.
(24:48):
Right Like I love that.
It gets better.
Trend on TikTok, Like it's sotrue.
So pop into that youngerversion of yourself and give
yourself some love.
That's a really great thing todo with self-belief and,
honestly, all of this is tied toimposter syndrome, by the way.
Like in general, I feel likeimposter syndrome and feeling
(25:09):
like you just don't have it alltogether comes from not having a
very strong belief in yourselfand not having a deep sense of
self-love because of the thingsthat were either done to us or
the beliefs that we sucked in aschildren, and it all is tied
(25:31):
into our survival instincts sothat when we do something that
doesn't feel safe, you knowsomething new, something we've
never done before.
It's not going to feel safe.
So all of these things kick inand it triggers that feeling of
not safety, which brings upanxiety and all of that stuff.
(25:52):
So all of this stuff that we'retalking about today is very
much tied to your impostersyndrome.
That we're talking about todayis very much tied to your
imposter syndrome, and thestronger self-belief you have,
the easier it is for you to movethrough anything in life, the
easier it is for you to lookaround you and not be as
affected and the easier it isfor you to show up when it is
(26:15):
scary and to keep doing it evenwhen it is scary.
The other thing you can do is Ithink I talked about this here
before, but it's a reallypowerful exercise is to write a
letter to yourself from thefuture.
Okay, so really allow yourselfto dream up what it is that you
(26:38):
want and then write that letterto yourself as if like a year
from now, and talk about all theawesome things that have
happened in the past yearmeaning from now until next year
right, create that actualfeeling and vision for yourself.
So if you have a hard timevisualizing it, this could be a
(26:59):
really fun thing to do, becauseit makes it a little bit easier
when you put yourself in thatposition of like, okay, future
me is writing this to me now.
What did we learn?
What did we do?
What are all the amazing thingsthat we accomplished?
What are some of the thingsthat we were able to like
discover about ourselves in thatyear that we may not know now?
(27:22):
So that's a really fun way toembed that stuff in your
unconscious mind and thenscripting it too.
So like writing out your goalsand desires in the present tense
, like as if they've alreadyhappened, act as if it's already
happened.
So I have created this amazingbusiness.
I have, you know, 12 clientsper month consistently.
(27:45):
I make $30,000 a monthconsistently.
I'm so grateful that I ambringing in $30,000 a month
consistently.
Whatever it is, I'm just kindof throwing some stuff out there
for you to see what I'm talkingabout, but be clear with it.
Stuff out there for you to seewhat I'm talking about.
But be clear with it, and Iknow that for a lot of you guys,
when you start doing that workespecially when it comes to like
(28:06):
adding, the monetary part of itis going to feel really scary,
right, it's going to, it's goingto trigger all of that survival
stuff.
So just know that that's normal.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
(28:26):
Be the neutral observer and say, okay, yeah, that's interesting
, I got some more work to dothere and I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
Part of this, of this, too, likeone of my favorite sayings that
I have to just kind of say tomyself a lot sometimes is that
nobody's coming to save youexcept you.
Right, you can be your own hero, and that's what this
(28:50):
self-belief is all about isbeing your own hero.
Yes, a lot of us have greatsupport systems.
We have amazing spouses ormentors who are helping us be
the person we want to be.
That's awesome.
I hope that you have at leastone person in your life that you
can rely on like that.
So that's not what I reallymean by like no one's coming to
(29:12):
save you.
At the end of the day, no oneis coming to do the work for you
.
You do need to do these thingsto get yourself to where you
want to go, but it doesn't meanyou have to beat yourself up
about it Because, remember, yourintuition is never going to be
a jerk.
It's not going to be mean.
It definitely can be forceful,but it's not going to be mean.
(29:37):
So if you've got a mean, nastyvoice in there, your internal
saying right, your internalsaboteur, that's not your
intuition, that is not.
That is your built-in safetymechanism, that is the amygdala,
the old brain.
There's a lot of different waysto frame that, but it is not
your intuition and it is notyour higher self.
(29:59):
Your higher self wants you tobe happy and successful and
loving and living a beautifullife.
So creating this unshakableself-belief is going to help you
achieve these dreams and goalsso much faster.
And the main thing that I reallywant you guys to get from this
little episode today is thathaving a strong self-belief is
(30:20):
what gets you through everythingthat we're going through right
now.
Like I said, it's really easyto believe in yourself when
things are going well, but whenit's not going well, that's when
it's really important, becausethe self-belief is really
crucial for creating the lifethat you desire, even when you
don't have immediate proof ofits effectiveness, and by
(30:42):
understanding the science behindthe self-belief and
implementing these practicaltechniques, you can rewire your
brain for success.
This is a lot of what I doinside of coaching.
Again, not everything works foreach person.
For some people, journaling islike magic.
For other people it justdoesn't stick.
You've got to find what worksfor you, and a good coach is not
(31:05):
going to just tell you hey,this is, this is exactly what
you should do.
It works exactly for me, itworks for all my clients, it's
going to work exactly for youtoo.
That's not the case, you know.
That's what it means to reallywork one-on-one with someone is
to dig in and figure out howit's going to work for you.
So if you're ready to transcendthe unconscious thoughts and
(31:26):
patterns and behaviors that areholding you back, I invite you
to explore some of my coachingprograms.
I do have Elevate, which is agroup coaching program, and I do
have a one-on-one program.
But we don't always acceptone-on-one clients year round
and I did pull back on thatcurrently because I've just got
(31:47):
a lot going on.
But you can always reach outand get on my wait list and just
inquire about that programbecause I love working with
people one-on-one.
It is probably the mostfulfilling work that I do,
because I really love seeingthose light bulbs go off and I
love working with peopleone-on-one.
It is probably the mostfulfilling work that I do,
because I really love seeingthose light bulbs go off and I
love seeing people make thesechanges.
I get DMs from past clients allthe time letting me know hey, I
(32:09):
know we haven't worked togetherin the last six months, but
here's all the things that havehappened.
That's like the best thing ever.
But regardless of however you doit, I want you to build an
unshakable self-belief so thatyou can achieve your dreams.
I know you can do it.
I see proof of it every day andyou are going to find proof of
whatever you're looking forthanks to that reticular
(32:30):
activating system.
So what are you looking for?
Your beliefs are going to shapeyour reality.
Choose to believe in yourself,no matter what, and until next
time, keep growing, expandingand evolving.
You've got this and I am alwayscheering for you.
So until next time, love you.
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