June 4, 2024 • 46 mins
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In this episode, I'm joined by Jenn Beninger, founder and CEO of Genius Unlocked Coaching Institute. Together, we delve into the concept of the four voices that impact our lives and businesses. Jenn shares her expertise on how to identify and work with these voices to unlock our full potential and live more purposefully.
Key Points:
- Introduction to Jenn and her background in NLP, hypnotherapy, and timeline therapy.
- The four voices, along with detailed explanations of each voice and their roles in our lives.
- Strategies for identifying which voice is speaking and how to respond.
- The importance of intuition and how it differs from the other voices.
- Practical steps to develop and trust your intuition.
- Jenn's personal journey and how she applied these principles to transform her own life.
- Insights into the power of staying IN your comfort zone and working within it to expand your potential.
Free Resource:
Jen offers a free gift of 23 guided meditations designed to help you understand and manage your four voices. These meditations build on each other to deepen your intuition and integrate your conscious and unconscious mind.
https://geniusunlocked.coach/unlocking-your-intuition-challenge/
Connect with Jenn:
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennbeninger
- Website: https://geniusunlocked.coach
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Tried and True with a Dash of Woo, where
we blend rock-solid tips with alittle bit of magic.
I'm Renee Bowen, your host,life and business coach and
professional photographer atyour service.
We are all about gettingcreative, diving into your
business and playing withmanifestation over here.
So are you ready to getinspired and have some fun?
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the show, guys.
(00:26):
I am your host of tried and truewith the dash of woo, renee
bowen, and today I am joined byjen benninger.
She and I have a lot in common.
She's got a lot ofcertifications, and some of them
are in some of the modalitiesthat I'm also certified in.
We both have a degree inpsychology as well, so that's
(00:47):
really fun.
She's a master trainer in NLPI'm at the practitioner level.
She is also certified intimeline therapy and
hypnotherapy, as am I, but sheis also the founder and CEO of
Genius Unlocked CoachingInstitute, and she's a board
certified coach and mentorstriving to transform leaders'
personal and professional lives.
(01:08):
Leaning on thousands of hoursof executive experience, Jen has
refined the art of coachingothers to tap into their
intuition, overcome obstaclesand live more purposefully.
She combines her expertise inenergy work.
We're both also certified inReiki.
Communication skills andmindset in order to generate
breakthrough results beyond herclients' wildest dreams.
(01:30):
Jen's work led her from Fortune500 corporations to executive
positions in the coachingindustry, where she's managed
coaching teams, designedcurriculums, taught business
development skills and organizedtransformative leadership
events.
Jen's guidance empowers coacheseverywhere to unlock their
genius and achieve their fullpotential.
(01:52):
You guys are going to love thisconversation.
We are talking about the fourvoices that we all have that
impact our lives and ourbusinesses, how to work with
them, what they are, how toidentify them and how to live
your best life to your fullestpotential.
You're going to want to takenotes.
Let's dive in.
Hey, Jen, welcome to the show.
(02:13):
Thanks so much for being here.
I'm super excited to chat withyou today.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Thank, you, Renee.
I am very excited to be hereand I'm very excited to have
your listeners kind of tune intoour conversation today.
I'm excited to get to know moreabout where we're going to go
today.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah.
So I want to you speak aboutthis, and I don't think it's
something that my audience isprobably familiar with, or has
heard it framed this way atleast, and so I really want to
sort of dive into this conceptof these four voices.
Right, you were talking aboutthese four voices that impact
your life and your business.
(02:49):
So give us a little bit of the30,000 foot view and let's dig
into these four voices.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Love that Absolutely.
So we might.
We find out that a lot of ushave acknowledged these voices
in our minds, but we may nothave been able to put a label to
them and really understood whatis their job, what is the
purpose, why are they here?
So we'll start with the threeones that maybe don't serve you
(03:17):
so much.
About the, you know the magicbullet to everything, but the
three voices that don't reallyserve you too much, or at least
not until I tell you how theycan serve you.
Um is your inner critic, yourinner child and your inner ego,
and so, um, those are the threevoices that are.
You might have acknowledgedthem.
You might be going oh yeah, jen, I know what you're talking
(03:38):
about.
It's that little voice thattells me I can't do it, the one
that says I'm not good enough,the one that says don't do that,
you're, you're going to gethurt.
Those type of of little voicesare in your mind.
So we want to acknowledge them,acknowledge that they have a
purpose, learn from them, andthat is actually how we're going
(03:58):
to quiet them, and we'll talkabout that as as we go to the a
hundred thousandth of you.
And then, of course, we have ourother voice, which is our
intuition.
So I like to call it the foureyes which I is talking to you.
So when you're understandingwhat's going on in that
self-talk, you want tounderstand which I is talking.
Is it your inner critic, yourinner ego, your inner child,
(04:18):
which we're going to dive indeeper, or is it your intuition?
And this is, of course, myfavorite topic and a lot of you
might be saying well, jen, Ihave an intuition, I know what
my intuition is.
That's great.
So I'm not I.
There's four steps, and I wassharing with Renee earlier.
There's four steps to reallydeveloping your intuition.
So you might be massivelyintuitive and you might now be
(04:39):
able to use those intuitionskills that you already have
developed and understand how tohandle and work with the other
three voices.
Or some of you were like Idon't know what anything that
you're, you know I.
I'm really excited to hearabout how they're all related.
So, those are our four.
We call it the four voices andit's the four eyes.
So you want to always checkwith yourself which I is talking
to you in your mind when you'remaking decisions or having
(05:03):
conversations or something comesup in your life.
So that's the.
That's a little bit of anoverview.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I love that and I love how you've categorized them
, cause, yes, I mean, I think alot of people might be familiar
with the inner saboteur and theinner critic, and you know what
I mean.
That voice tends to be prettyloud for creatives, I have found
for a lot of people, butcreatives with very overactive
brains and anybody who issensitive and a little empathic
(05:31):
tends to have a little bitstronger and sometimes nastier
inner critic.
So what can somebody do, then,to identify which of these four
voices is currently dominatingthe decision-making process?
Perfect question.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So let me tell you two, two again.
I'm gonna do a little bit ofcomparison.
So we'll do like the threevoices that don't serve you, and
then, of course, your intuition.
So the three voices that don'tserve you this is the metaphor
that I like to use.
They're like a bull in a Chinashop.
They like to come in withoutpermission, they get loud.
They're like a tantrum.
They want to be seen, they wantto be heard and they want to be
(06:11):
in control.
Okay, so they're going to comeout of nowhere and they're not
going to be quiet.
Now, the difference is with yourworking, with your intuition.
Your intuition is always thereand it needs to be called upon,
so it's aware that you'rewilling to listen to what it
says.
Okay, now there's a.
There's a couple of differentthings.
So I remember it same same withwhat you were just talking
about.
When you look at the threevoices, my three voices that
(06:33):
weren't serving me, my innercritic was also running amok.
So let me tell you what eachone of their jobs is they're
doing, so that will help youidentify them.
Then I'll tell you how yourintuition can support you with
that.
Is that fair enough?
Okay, yeah, so let me startwith the inner ego, because
that's the one that is mistakenthe most, believe it or not.
Most people, like you said, canidentify their inner critic.
(06:56):
They're like, oh, I know whatthey're telling me to do.
So that inner ego is the onethat's most misidentified, and
some people actually think it'stheir intuition.
So put a little asterisk nextto intuition.
If you're taking notes unlessyou're driving, you can go back.
But take little notes next tointuition.
It is always, always, always,always, always, always, always,
(07:16):
always kind.
So that's your first clue.
If anything in your self-talkis not kind to you immediately,
not your intuition, nope, it's.
So then you're going.
That's the first clue.
So well, and then you can.
Then you can go over and figureout which of the other three
voices that might be yourintuition.
This is your little star isalways kind and not always
(07:38):
gentle, so it will give you thatgut punch, right.
Your intuition will give youthat.
Aha, it'll be like darn it.
I think I knew that and it'sstill kind.
So it's not always gentle.
So we have it's really fun.
We have in our, in our company,our clients, my, my business
partner and I we talked about itand we're like it's like
getting hit with like a deadfish across your face, right,
(08:09):
you're just like right, and thenit's great meme where this fish
is just jumping out of out ofthe water and hitting a
fisherman over over the face.
So we're like, oh my gosh, it'slike getting hit with a dead
fish.
So then to date myself, so nowour clients have called our
loving fish Wanda after themovie of fish called Wanda.
I love it.
So our shorthand, our clients,is like oh my gosh, that was a
Wanda moment, which means it wasan intuitive, like gut punch,
like oh my gosh, like Eureka,like I can't believe I didn't
see that before that intuitivehit.
(08:30):
I'm not all of them are thatway.
Some of them are just very muchknowings, as you all, as you
all know.
Your intuition doesn't have tobe that Wanda moment and some
people mistake that as not yourintuition.
So your intuition is alwayskind it.
That is not your intuition.
So your intuition is alwayskind, it can come in gentle and
it can come in like a Wanda.
The other thing is about yourintuition that you're going to
(08:51):
make a little star note about.
It is it will always, always,always take you into your best
interest, always.
So if you know that you have anintuitive hit and you can learn
to trust it and then takeinspired action from it, it will
always be toward your betterself.
I know I said I was about theother three voices, but
apparently we're going to talkabout intuition first, so we'll
switch it back here in just asecond.
(09:12):
I got excited, okay.
So then the other thing aboutintuition, another thing I want
you to make a little star noteabout is not only is it always
kind, there's no judgment.
So I think about the othermetaphor that I use with your
intuition is it's like your GPS.
Your car GPS does not judge you.
If you made a wrong turn, itdoesn't start blaming and
shaming you.
(09:32):
If you made a left instead of aright, it doesn't blame and
shame you.
If you miss the off ramp, itdoesn't blame or shame you.
If you got lost, what is yourGPS do?
It just says turn, turn right,turn left, no worries,
redirecting, make a U-turn,there's no judgment.
So the moment any judgment,blaming, shaming, comes in.
(09:54):
It's not your intuition, it'sone of the other three voices
trying to keep you.
When I tell you their jobs,it'll make sense.
So those are your notes, foryour intuition is, it's kind,
not always gentle, doesn't judge, and it's like a GPS and will
always lead you in the direction, even though you might be like
I don't know.
So some people compare fear andanxiety with excitement.
(10:17):
So we want to learn to discernthose, because it could be in
the, you could feel itsomatically and it's the same
chemicals.
It's the same chemicals, it'sthe same chemicals.
And so we are inner critic,inner child or inner ego.
Label it fear and anxiety,because they want to be loud
versus your intuition.
It's like that's excitement,anticipation.
Anticipation is not a negativeemotion.
(10:37):
Anticipation is that excitement?
It's that.
What's next?
It's the that I want moreversus fear and anxiety.
That's what we want to discern,so that's our intuition.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
So now, as as I said before, let's go talk about the
other places.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I got a little excited there.
Okay, so your inner ego isdefending the identity that
you've created up until now.
Okay, so what do we mean bythat?
So, when we come into thisworld, we are a blank
unconscious mind.
We are just brilliant and weare as source sees us.
(11:11):
Well as we grow up.
In some of our as some of ourtraining, even some of the
training that Renee and I sharetogether is in some of our
training we learn that in thoseearly years, zero to seven I
also have a degree in psychology, which, yeah, exactly.
So in that zero to sevenimprint age, we are given what
we call filters.
We're giving our values, we'regiving our our way of being,
(11:32):
we're giving all of ourexperiences and our life
experiences, and what happens isthat starts to suppress our
true identity because of outsideforces.
So you've had to defend thisnew identity that you've created
.
Okay, because your trueidentity because of outside
forces.
So you've had to defend thisnew identity that you've created
.
Okay, Because your trueidentity is what your intuition
is wanting you to get back to.
So, also in your, in youryounger years, is there was some
(11:55):
need that didn't get met.
Okay, some core root need thatdidn't get met.
So your inner ego is defiantand digs in and is defendant of
that identity that you've had tocreate, because you created
that identity in the first placeto be safe, to keep you safe,
(12:17):
keep you safe.
So you've created this newidentity.
So for me for me, I was like incorporate America and then I
ended up struggling withinfertility and so I left and I
became a full-time entrepreneurin 2002 and my um well,
ex-husband now.
I was married to a policeofficer for 25 years.
So part of my challenge leavingthat abusive relationship was I
(12:40):
had an identity that I wastrying to protect as being a
cop's wife.
I was not going to be anotherstatistic 70% of law enforcement
officers get a divorce.
I was not going to be thatperson.
So I had built up this identityand I was going to defend it
until the time and I and then no, I got divorced at the exact
perfect time and looking back,I'm like, oh, I see, I didn't
(13:05):
want to be another statistic.
My work is amazing.
But guess what?
I walked into my very first, myvery first coaching
certification.
I don't know if it was yourfirst, renee, but I walked in my
very first certification, whichwas neuro-linguistic
programming, my first of 16.
And I was like, oh my gosh, Ican save my marriage.
And instead I saved myself, andit was because I learned some
of these tools.
So your inner ego wants todefend the identity that you've
(13:29):
created.
Because you've created it to besafe.
There's nothing wrong with it.
So we need to not blame andshame these other three voices.
Not at all.
Exactly what do you?
What are you trying to tell me?
So your three voices are what I.
The metaphor I use for them isthey're your gas light coming on
in your car.
It's like hello, there'ssomething to look at.
(13:51):
Now, some of us have annoyingthree voices, and then I relate
those to the battery in yoursmoke detector that goes off at
3 am, where you just want toburn your house down.
You want to take the broom andyou want to just make it stop.
It's 3 am, but that's themetaphor Again, it's just saying
hey, in order for you tofunction, in order for the car
(14:13):
to drive, in order for the smokedetectors to do their job, in
order for you to listen to yourintuition, you deserve to listen
to what they have to say.
So if we can look at our threevoices as lessons and lights,
and the gas light coming ongoing.
Oh, I need to pay attention.
Once they feel seen and heardfrom your intuition, they will
(14:35):
quiet.
So that's a little divergent,but that's more of like how to
classify the three of them.
So your inner is is shows up asdefiant, it shows up as digging
in, shows up I want to be right.
It shows up very righteous andagain, it serves a purpose.
So I'm not going to blame andshame any of you all that have
that come out.
Mine comes out every once in awhile too.
(14:56):
It's just more awareness.
Okay, so now your inner critic.
This is the one that, like youwere saying, you probably
connect with the most.
Your inner critic isfascinating because it knows
your current problems.
So your inner critic knows howfor you to feel like an imposter
.
Your inner critic knows how itfeels to be alone.
(15:16):
Your inner critic knows how todeal with the financial
situation that you're in, evenif all of those things are
shiitake mushrooms, which meanswhat do I say?
So I don't know what languageyou allow on here, but we're
growing.
I had to say I couldn't sayshiitake mushrooms, so how much
are you in your shit?
So your inner critic knows yourshiitake mushrooms and it knows
(15:42):
how to stay in that blender ofwhatever you want to call it.
It knows how to deal with youwhen you get depressed.
It knows how to deal with whenmoney isn't working.
It knows how to whatever.
You got whatever.
And you're all free from all ofthis, like none.
I'm not installing any of this,it's just a way.
This is what your inner criticdoes, is it wants you to know
again that you're safe in yourcurrent problems.
(16:05):
I know how to deal with you.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So what happens is your intuition is trying to pull
you into brilliance and yourinner critic is like Nope,
because I don't know how to dealwith those problems.
Because your inner critic isn'trealizing that your intuition
will never lead you into moreproblems.
But your inner critic is scared.
So it's just kind of like but Iknow how to deal with this.
So you know what, if you dothat, you're going to get hurt.
If you do that, you're going tofail.
(16:28):
If you do that, they're goingto see that you're an imposter.
What other shiitake mushroomswe're telling ourselves?
Our inner critic knows how todeal with your current problems.
So your inner ego, what youwant to honor, is that you want
to honor the identity that youwere building and you want to
let it know that it's great itdoesn't need to protect that
identity anymore.
It can start bringing up yourtrue identity With your inner
critic.
You want to acknowledge that itknows that it kept you safe up
(16:53):
until this point and you'restrong and brave and courageous
and decisive and discerned andintuitive and magical and
empathetic and compassionate,that you can follow your
intuition.
So you almost want to give yourinner critic a chance to know
that you're going to be okay.
So then you've got your innerchild.
(17:13):
Now, your inner child is whereyou hold your negative emotions
of hurt and betrayal and you'reall free from all of this.
So again, your inner child.
Of course, you're going to behurt from the ages of zero to
seven.
It's called life.
We didn't come into this worldand we didn't choose to be on
this planet and have this humanexperience to live up in
(17:37):
euphoria.
Then we wouldn't be here.
So it's about we made thechoice.
Depending on your beliefs, whichis where that is for you,
whatever your definition ofsources is fine by me is that we
chose to come experience thehuman experience and the human
experience the end of the lineis to acknowledge and to see how
source sees us, and yourintuition is is the one that's
(17:59):
letting you show you.
This is how source sees you.
To get back to that, so ofcourse, you're going to
experience these hurt andbetrayal and some of their
negative emotions in that zeroto seven, which again is your
inner child, is trying to, istrying to keep you safe.
So again they're, they eachhave a role of holding you into
the identity that you've created.
(18:20):
Now the inner child holds theneed that wasn't met.
So your inner ego is defendingthe identity that you created
because the other identity issuppressed and your inner child
has created its defense becauseit didn't get the need that was
met and that we call that yourroot cause.
(18:41):
So I do as we mentioned.
The beginning is is we take ourI have six, over 16 coaching
certifications in differentmodalities, from unconscious
mind to conscious mind, tointegration, and it's all about
the integration of the consciousand the unconscious mind.
So that is what those threevoices are doing inside of your
(19:01):
head.
So if you find yourself wantingto be right if you're saying to
yourself, like I said to myself,I am in the right, that he is
wrong for cause I, my, myex-husband was, was more
emotionally, mentally abusive.
There was no physical abuse,but it was very emotionally,
mentally, and he had addiction.
And I didn't blame him.
I you know people went offtheir behaviors, I was just like
(19:23):
.
This is his coping mechanismfor his own inner critic, inner
child and inner ego.
So I held space for that and myego would show up and be like
and he is wrong to choose thealcohol over me and our girls.
That's my ego.
That is not my intuition.
My intuition was not telling meto blame and shame him and that
(19:43):
was my last thing that I had torelease for the divorce.
Now, where are you all defendingthat you are right?
If you are feeling that youhave to dig in and be right, I
would encourage you to look atwhat does your inner ego really
want you to know?
Because it's not that you'reright, because it's not about
being right, exactly Cliche.
Would you rather be right orhappy?
(20:04):
Well, some of us would ratherbe right, and it's because the
inner ego is in charge.
Your intuition would rather behappy.
So that's why we have to pullit in and get the guidance.
Now, again for my inner criticI could not make a decision to
save my life because I thought Iwas going to do everything
wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
That's what happens a lot with people, right, is that
?
Especially when that innercritic is so loud?
That's when you hear at least Ido from people all the time.
I know what the answer is.
Why can't I get it done Likewhat, what, that?
You know I'm in my own way thatkind of stuff, right?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, because for you to grow, you have to, and now
this is another topic.
If you want me to come back, wecan talk about this.
I'm a humongous proponent andstay in your fricking comfort
zone.
Do not go outside of yourcomfort zone.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, so what does that mean?
Yeah, let's go into that alittle bit.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Oh my gosh, okay, okay, the opposite of what most
people hear right, because theypeople.
this is a thing that, and youknow, cause of your work too.
I do want to finish the fourboys, so I will go into senior
comfort zone.
Okay, you're putting it on ourtime.
I just want to make sure Irespect everybody's time, but
that's a whole nother thing.
But I'll tell you why.
The way that you can connect andfind what's going on with your,
with your inner ego, your innercritic and your inner child, is
(21:16):
your intuition.
Your intuition is thetranslator, so you can write
this down.
This is one of the nuggets Ididn't tell you before.
Your intuition is the triflator, excuse me, between the
conscious and the unconsciousmind.
So you're consciously tellingyourself I'm not good enough,
I'm a fraud, I am an imposter,I'm not smart enough, I'm going
(21:38):
to be.
You know, the big more I'm seen, the less I'm going to be
respected.
What's that?
Other cliche Dogs don't chaseparked cars.
So if I just stay like a parkedcar, if I just stay stuck, then
no one will poke at me becauseI don't feel strong enough.
So whatever is coming up foryou and then, of course, your
(21:58):
inner child is, that's the hurtand betrayal.
So then, of course, if I justuse the story of my divorce.
I felt, of course, I felt hurtand betrayed and abandoned
because of the alcohol versus meand then.
So the way that my intuitionsupported me in that and then
I'll move into the comfort zoneis now okay.
I want to preface this becausesome of you will hear things and
(22:19):
take what I'm going to say andgo crazy, so I'm going to.
So I'm going to preface it withlisten to my words, because
some of you will hear it andtake it down because of your
filters, which is totally fine.
But hear this.
So what I had to understand nowI do not take responsibility
for his decision to drink.
So this is where I get some,some, some feedback, because
(22:40):
they're like well, wait, you'renot responsible for him drinking
.
No, he's responsible for hiscoping mechanism, which he chose
was drinking.
Okay, that's not me what, buthere's what I did have to take
responsibility for and this iswhat my intuition gave me.
This is what quieted my threevoices.
This is what went went from ahigh conflict divorce, where I
(23:02):
had to have a high conflictmediator, to the end of the
divorce where the mediator waslike I don't even know who you
are because you started as highconflict and you're like my best
dream clients ever.
And it's because I did this.
What I'm about to tell youright now is I took
responsibility because I changedthe picture.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Yeah, no, I get that, I grew.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
He wanted me to stay Cause again.
We were together for almostnine years before I got pregnant
.
We were together a whole.
We met 20 and 21 and 22.
I didn't have my daughter tillI was 30.
We were married.
We had a home.
He was a police officer.
I had a career in corporateAmerica.
That was the picture that wasin his mind.
(23:49):
I changed the picture andbecame a full-time entrepreneur.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Because you know, that's easy right.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
That's the best.
If you ever want the bestpersonal development, become an
entrepreneur.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Seriously.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So I had to take responsibility for changing the
picture.
So once I took all that back, Istopped blaming and shaming him
.
I stopped blaming and shamingthe alcohol.
I stopped blaming and shamingmyself.
I stopped staying stuck themoment I asked for the divorce.
30 days later, we hit sevenfigures in our business during a
pandemic year.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Because I asked for the divorce in 2020, in
September.
Actually, I knew I was gettingdivorced in October.
In September we hit.
I asked for it on the 6th andthat month we went seven figures
in our business.
Everything opened up.
Every block was gone.
When I took what was myresponsibility yeah, that's the
hardest part.
That's what coaching is for,Because you can't see the label
(24:44):
from inside the jar.
I'm in my shiitake mushrooms.
I couldn't see that.
I was demanding that he pick meand like how dare you talk to
your girls like that?
Do you want your?
I was blaming and shaming him,which means I was blaming and
shaming myself, as we all knowwhat perception is projection is
Okay.
So that?
So your intuition is thetranslator.
(25:05):
So I am going to offer you alla free gift which will explain
this, and then I'll go into.
I'll give you a brief oncomfort zone.
I will not leave without that,if you guys can hang for a few
minutes.
So you want to learn how tounderstand what your three
voices are, what are they tryingto tell you and what do you
(25:26):
deserve to learn about yourself?
And you can't do that on yourown, you can't do that in your
conscious mind and you can't dothat from your three voices.
The only way you're going toget those answers is from your
intuition.
So those of you who are alreadyintuitives I'm hoping you just
had an aha, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can take my intuition 20
times deeper and then you canstart to discern which voices
(25:47):
and how to pull which learningsare important to you, because
you're already getting intuitivehits and those of you that are
newer on your journey the freegift I have for you is is a
series of 23 meditations.
You don't have to do them in 23days, you just please do them in
order, because they build upand they actually develop that
intuition and finding your fourvoices and getting the learnings
(26:08):
and getting the releasing.
So you don't have to listen tothem in 23 days.
You can.
I would just please listen tothem in order, and one of them
is specifically how to turn downyour four voices.
So that's the free gift that Ihave for everyone.
That was what we really talkedabout, but I'm absolutely going
to tell you why you stay in yourcomfort zone Real quick, before
we get into that.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I want to pull up my little highlighter and because
what you said a few minutes agoI think will resonate with so
many people, especially women.
I have a lot of femaleentrepreneurs in my audience who
are creative overthinkers, whotry and logic their way out of
all of this, which is, you know,the other three voices.
(26:48):
So the other thing that youmentioned, though, specifically,
was taking responsibility foryour changing, basically your
evolution, right?
You changed the game, I think,is how did you change the
picture?
I changed the picture, yes,Right.
So, which means you grew right.
You decided you wantedsomething different.
You decided you wanted moresomething.
(27:09):
Whatever.
This happens a lot in marriages.
Now I have been, obviously,you've seen it too.
I've been married for a really,really long time and I can
pinpoint at least four times inour marriage that I have
incrementally done that myhusband has come along right
with me.
Now, the thing about it is thatthat doesn't always happen, and
(27:34):
you really, sort of like,highlighted that, and so I hear
from women all the time in mycoaching this, this sort of
thing right here, and I thinkthat if you are listening and
you are struggling with that,you are struggling with the
blaming, the resentment of allof these things.
Maybe you have evolved or youwant something bigger, better.
(27:56):
Your intuition is calling youto level up and that may not
translate to your partner.
I always like to just sort ofemphasize that you know there's
going to probably be many timesin your marriage if you're lucky
that you have the opportunity,if you choose to look at it that
(28:20):
way and the other person doestoo, obviously to continuously
rework, readjust and sort offight together for this work
together for this marriage.
So if you feel like you're inthat place, that's really a
great place to start.
Is what you were talking about,jen is to take responsibility
(28:41):
for that and hopefully that willhelp someone who's listening
who might be struggling withthat, and hopefully that will
help someone who's listening whomight be struggling with that
because I think that probably alot of people are.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
When you get to that point, all three of your inner
voices have come together andunited and you're like I can't
defend myself to them.
And that's the biggest growthof them all, because I didn't
know that when I tookresponsibility that the divorce
(29:23):
was going to be there.
I took responsibility first,right, and then I went and
looked back at all of the cluesand so, ladies and gentlemen, or
ladies or whoever we're talking, this goes both ways.
Yeah, I was stuck in the fearcycle.
I stayed in that for probablyabout eight of the 25 years and
(29:43):
I'm four years out, three yearsout, almost four years out, on
the other side and it, yeah, itwas that anticipation and if you
can continue to go inside andcontinue with the voices, you
will heal at every step of theway.
Like I said, we started with ahigh conflict mediator that
would we'd be in there and thenshe'd immediately like on zoom
(30:05):
rooms, cause it would get thatintense, and then, towards the
end, she's like invasion, thebody snatchers, like what
happened.
I'm like I stopped those threeboys, I stopped listening and I
started listening to myintuition Now, he's basically
remarried and I have no judgment.
He's basically remarried.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, you are basically.
When you're doing that too, youare becoming that neutral
observer, because that's whatyour intuition is Like we were
talking about before.
There isn't the judgment there,it's it just is, it's like it
just is and what was happeningis by me fighting it.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
So let me go back to what I even tie it back to what
I was saying earlier.
By you fighting it and I knowsome of your three voices are
going crazy right now I get it.
By listening to that you arecontinuously suppressing the
identity that you were here tobe and you're continuously not
getting that need met.
(31:02):
So right now, the fear ofwhatever their three voices are
telling you is overpowering theknowledge that on the other side
you start to emerge, you startto get the need met that wasn't
met and you start to become intothe identity.
That source sees you, which Ipromise you is a gazillion times
better than what the otherthree voices are trying to keep
(31:23):
you.
They're just trying to know howto deal with the problems and
the shit that you're in now.
They don't know what's over here, but your intuition does and
remember, it's kind, not alwaysgentle.
It's a GPS.
It has no judgment.
It will always take you to theplace.
That will be the better side.
And when you can learn tounderstand how your
communication comes from yourintuition, you learn to trust it
(31:45):
and you learn to take theinspired action, you won't need
to be in that eight years You'llbe able to do it in eight days,
eight minutes, eight seconds.
You can shift by going oh, nope,I know, but what do you want to
tell me?
And inner critic, what do youwant to tell me?
Okay, I got it, my intuition.
What are they saying?
What does it mean?
What can I do?
What are my inspired actionsteps?
(32:06):
So, instead of taking action,action, action, which is what
some people are just like, justget into action which we've got
time.
Now I can lead into the comfortzone.
It ties right into that versustaking inspired action, which
means it's coming from intuition, knowing that it's taking you
in the direction, from intuition, knowing that it's taking you
(32:29):
in the direction, even if it'santicipatory or excited, you can
go do Okay.
So I thank you so much forbringing a point to that.
It's super important and I andI and I help a lot of people
because I had a lot of guilt andblame and shame when I was
going through my divorce, causeI was like, how are my clients
going to see it?
Like, well, jen, your workdidn't fix your marriage, like
so I had a lot of that self-lovecritic.
(32:50):
I was like, well, I thoughtyour work was great.
Actually, I had a neighbor, oneof his drinking buddies was
like well, if your wife's workwas so great so I let other
people enter my brain.
I realized that I was like butwe've set ourselves totally free
.
He was not happy.
Now is he still using thatcoping mechanism?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
He is, but that's, that's his choice, that's his
decision, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
That's not for me and I now have the life that I want
.
So I, like I said, I wasn'tabout healing the marriage, it
was healing myself.
And we go a lot into theperceptions, projection and
creating your outside world fromyour inside world.
A lot of that stuff we do withour coaching as well, like you
do.
So people can really trulyunderstand that you have choice
(33:37):
back.
So, by listening to yourintuition, you have choice.
Listening to the other threevoices, you don't.
So if you get your power back,you're empowered, you have
choices, opportunities, um,creativity.
All of that comes from gettingchoice back and that's why.
So, again, I keep leading that,like Jen talked about that
comfort zone thing.
Okay, I promise, promise, it'sgoing to be a little bit of a
(33:58):
science lesson and it'll be fun.
Let's do it.
We talk about skydiving, okay.
So here we go.
So I'm going to use fear ofheights about skydiving, okay.
So here we go.
So I'm going to use fear ofheights, okay.
So, for those of you that arelistening, just imagine that I'm
holding my, my, my hands likethey're around a, like a glass,
like a, like a cup.
So my hands are in a circle andmy fingers are all touching,
okay.
So those of you that arewatching the video, you're like,
(34:19):
I see you, okay.
So if you're listening, I'vejust I've got my hand.
So this is your current comfortzone, and 99.9% of the people
out there they say a cliche, butthey don't understand what
they're, what the cliche reallymeans, and so I'm going to tell
you what the cliche means andthen you can make your choice.
Okay.
So they say, stay in yourcomfort zone.
(34:42):
So I get what their point is.
I mean, go outside your comfortzone.
I get that, but they say itwithout understanding the
neurology and what's actuallygoing on in your brain with,
like science, when you tellsomeone to do that.
So I'm going to explain it toyou and then you can choose what
you want to do.
Okay, cause I'm giving youchoice back.
So here's your comfort zone.
So the first thing I want youto note, if you're taking notes,
is your power, and your problemis inside your comfort zone.
(35:03):
So quit trying to go outsideyour comfort zone to get the
power.
It's inside.
Okay, so we're going to use fearof heights, right, cause I love
skydiving?
Okay.
So let's just say that, um,sally is afraid of heights and I
say, sally, you need to gooutside your comfort zone and
you're just going to conquerthis fear.
You're going to willpower it.
Oh wait, which voice conquersin his willpower Ego?
(35:28):
Does it serve us?
No, okay, we get the learnings,not the thing, okay.
So your inner ego, or whatever,and I'm just like, jump out of
the airplane, just overcome it.
You know, faith over fear, mindover matter.
No Language, no Language.
No, what you do because this iswhat happens is the person
(35:50):
that's telling Sally to jump outof the airplane is creating.
She jumps out of the airplane,she does it.
She's created a strongerneurological connection in her
synopsis of her brain that she'sscared of fricking heights.
Yeah, cause here's the deal.
She might do it and then shemight feel like, oh my God, I
(36:12):
did it.
The next time she has to go dosomething, she's just moved it
to something else, nope.
So if you think about it, I liketo use metaphor.
So think about it.
Imagine and I'm sure you'veseen a movie if you haven't
experienced it yourself or a TVshow where a truck has driven in
(36:32):
a dirt road, where it's beenraining right, and it makes a
lot of ruts.
Okay, so the dirt, so the dirtroad.
Then it comes back the next dayand it's all dry, but then
there's two ruts in the road andyou can't, you can't turn out
of.
It takes a lot to get out ofthat.
Well, if someone has, we callthat our neurological boundary,
okay.
I told you a lesson, but you gotit.
So it's neurological boundary,has this rut in it, that's fear
(36:56):
of heights.
Okay, so all you've done bymaking them jump out of an
airplane or make a sales call,you know, just just do it anyway
.
Make a sales call, um, you know, do.
Whatever you need to do is youmade that rut deeper.
They now they're just spuntheir wills and it's a
neurological boundary has gottenthicker and harder to get over.
(37:17):
Yeah, so this is why you stay inyour comfort zone.
So here, how about this?
And I think y'all will agree, Iconvert most people.
So your power and your problemsare in your comfort zone.
Why don't we go find out whythe frick Sally is scared of
heights and deal with that, whythe frick Sally is scared of
(37:42):
heights and deal with that.
So if you go inside the comfortzone and you go, okay, sally,
what is going on?
So we do what we call our, our,our processes.
We call it root cause coaching.
So it combines the consciousmind coaching.
It combines internationalcoaching, federation, cognitive
behavioral therapy, violentcommunication, neuro-linguistic
programming coaching, all of theconscious mind coaching.
So we do all of that.
So we get down and we find outwhat is, what is really the fear
(38:07):
of heights.
Then we use our unconsciousmind coaching, which includes
breath work, somatic coaching,hypnotherapy, energy work, huna,
all of the things and all thethings.
So then we find it in theunconscious mind, then we bring
it together.
It's like a little triangle.
We bring it together to the topand we integrate it with our
(38:29):
quantum release process, whichwe get the conscious mind and
the unconscious mind understand.
We release what it is and guesswhat, ladies and gentlemen?
Her comfort zone now expandsand she can choose whether or
not she wants to jump out of anairplane, right?
So never, ever, ever, ever, gooutside of your comfort zone.
(38:53):
Find what the challenge isinside, do the process of Well,
do the work.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Yeah, look at it Right.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Because I don't have any judgment on whether, like
I'm asking Sally to jump out ofan airplane, like when somebody
says, go outside your comfortzone, they don't understand what
they're asking you to do.
Neurologically, I want you tounderstand what they're asking
you to do and you can say okay,cool, thank you.
And I know what you really meanis find out what's stopping me
from doing the thing.
Clean it all up in myunconscious mind so that I can
(39:25):
then choose to do it, so I canhave the results.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah, and feel empowered doing it and not as
though you were still outside ofthat control.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Yeah, because it's absolutely so.
You, you deserve to find outwhat's stopping you the first
way, cause I guarantee you,what's stopping you is one of
the three voices.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
It's trying to keep, it's trying to protect an
identity that you've already had.
It's trying to know the problem, it knows how to deal with the
problems that you currently have, or it's trying to not get you
emotionally and, of course,physically I don't.
I think skydiving is amazing.
I just did a talk with Suzanneon Suzanne Evans stage yesterday
and she was like Jen, I loveyou and no way are you and I
ever jumping out of an airplane.
I'm like, all right, fair enough, it's just whatever your fear
(40:08):
is.
If your fear of divorce, thengo find, don't go outside your
comfort zone and stay in it orjust do it without any support
is go figure out what's going on, expand your comfort zone and
guess what?
The universe and your intuitionsometimes even with all of
especially those, this audiencethe universe is divinely
(40:31):
programmed to give you exactlywhat you want and it will lay it
all out for you.
The more you go outside yourcomfort zone, the more you're
going against your intuition andagainst the universe.
Stay inside, clean up yourshiitake mushrooms and expand it
and have choice.
Do you choose to do this?
Do you know?
Now the choice of a divorce ispositive, not out of necessity,
(40:53):
because to me, when I firststarted, I was like I just want
it to stop.
I want the mental stuff to stop, I want the emotional stuff to
stop.
I stopped being two-faced,meaning I'm out here, I'm
amazing and at home it's a shitshow.
I was done, my girls are likewhat's happening.
And then everything else in mylife transpired.
Now again, I've helped hundredsand thousands of people.
(41:14):
I have helped thousands ofpeople.
I have helped thousands ofpeople and I've helped a lot of
people understand that theirmarriage is absolutely the best
thing for them and absolutelythe thing that they get to move
on from.
It doesn't matter.
I have no attachment.
I have zero attachment.
All I want is your happinessand your vibration, to be you,
(41:35):
following your intuition.
I have zero attachment.
I'm having fun, I'm going out,I'm doing my thing and if I'm
going to ever get remarried,great.
If not great, like I don't.
I used to freak out about that,I mean in my fifties I'm like I
don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah.
It's been the best thing ever,because I just let my intuition
guide me, and it's that thepower of curiosity and what, if
you know, living in thepossibility is so beautiful.
Thank you so much.
That is amazing and thatresource that you are gifting
the listeners is going to besuper valuable for them.
So you guys, absolutely makesure you download that.
(42:11):
I'm going to put all of thatinformation in the show notes
for y'all.
And if people want to connectwith you, where do you like to
connect with them best?
Speaker 2 (42:20):
So um you.
The best social place to findme is on LinkedIn.
Um it's name, so um you'll.
You'll see it in the name, orit's Jen Benninger with two.
N's Benninger with one.
It's kind of funny.
Um, I did marry into a namethat rhymes.
It's kind of fun.
I decided to keep it for mydaughters, of course, but, yeah,
married into a name that rhymes.
(42:41):
So LinkedIn is the best place.
That's where I post a lot of myteachings and where you can
message me and get on calls anddo all that fun thing.
Of course, we have a website ifyou're really curious, and what
Genius Unlocked does?
We are a coaching instituteit's geniusunlockedcoach.
If you're interested in our inour website.
If not, the free gift is justis absolutely.
(43:01):
My gift for you is thosemeditations.
Again, you don't have to listento them in 23 days, but please
listen to them in order at leastthe first time, and then you go
back and find your favorites.
They are all guided meditationsand they are.
They are there to support youin understanding what's going on
with those four voices anddeveloping that and getting that
choice back, getting thatcreativity back, getting that
curiosity back.
(43:21):
That's all what it's based onand it's absolutely my pleasure
to have hung out with you, nomatter when you're listening to
this.
I love podcasting, right, renee?
They stay on the internetforever, so who knows when
you're actually listening tothis or watching this.
It's just been an absolutepleasure, so thank you for
having me.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This was awesome.
So many good takeaways in thisepisode.
I hope you are able to go backand listen.
If you didn't have a chance toreally sort of integrate
everything that we were talkingabout, maybe bookmark this and
go back and listen later.
Maybe you took notes and maybeyou can go back and look at
(44:06):
those as well.
I really hope that one of thetakeaways is that you learn to
discern and listen to yourintuition, and you know, jen and
I both are very passionateabout wanting other people and
wanting to help other peoplelive in their fullest and
highest potential to help otherpeople live in their fullest and
highest potential.
So this was just a littlesnippet of how you can embark
upon that journey, and I knowthat her meditations that you
(44:29):
guys are going to get for freein the show notes are going to
be really super helpful fory'all.
So definitely download those,and I'd love to hear any of your
other takeaways as well, andI'd love to hear any of your
other takeaways as well.
I don't know if any of you havereally heard about these four
voices before.
Maybe we've spoken about themin different ways and framed
them in different ways, but alot of the things that I speak
(44:50):
about on this podcast are rightin line with all of that, and
I'm very much a proponent oflooking at having the awareness
okay, what is actually going on,especially in terms of that
comfort zone?
Yes, we want to grow and wewant to stretch, but you have to
feel empowered to be able to dothat.
(45:11):
And if you're just sort ofblindly taking action because
you know you want to sort ofdesensitize yourself to
something, like she said, thatcan actually cause a deeper
neural pathway, and so we wantto really be paying attention to
the intention behind all of theaction that we're taking that
(45:35):
inspired action and reallylooking at that root cause,
looking deeper, going.
Okay, what is there for me?
Why is this coming up?
Why is this a trigger for me?
Why am I defending this?
Why do I feel so cynical?
Why do I feel so resentful?
Whatever it might be, there's alesson in there.
There's definitely some gold inthat if you choose to look
(45:57):
deeper.
So I hope you do, and I'm hereto support you along the way as
you do.
Just reach out if you need anyhelp whatsoever.
I am a phone call away if youwant to grab a call with me and
see if we would be aligned towork together.
That link is below for you.
If you're a photographer andyou're looking for an amazing
and, you know, transformativeexperience that is not going to
(46:19):
break your bank, you got to lookat Elevate because it is very
accessible and you get a ton,including coaching with me.
All those links are for youbelow and I hope to see you guys
next week right here.
So hit me up on Instagram, letme know what you guys thought
about this episode.
You can go toratethispodcastcom to show us
some love.
That is so, so helpful for us,by the way, and I appreciate you
(46:43):
all.
So have a great week.
I love you.
Bye.
Welcome to Tried and True with a Dash of Woo, where
we blend rock-solid tips with alittle bit of magic.
I'm Renee Bowen, your host,life and business coach and
professional photographer atyour service.
We are all about gettingcreative, diving into your
business and playing withmanifestation over here.
So are you ready to getinspired and have some fun?
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the show, guys.
(00:26):
I am your host of tried and truewith the dash of woo, renee
bowen, and today I am joined byjen benninger.
She and I have a lot in common.
She's got a lot ofcertifications, and some of them
are in some of the modalitiesthat I'm also certified in.
We both have a degree inpsychology as well, so that's
(00:47):
really fun.
She's a master trainer in NLPI'm at the practitioner level.
She is also certified intimeline therapy and
hypnotherapy, as am I, but sheis also the founder and CEO of
Genius Unlocked CoachingInstitute, and she's a board
certified coach and mentorstriving to transform leaders'
personal and professional lives.
(01:08):
Leaning on thousands of hoursof executive experience, Jen has
refined the art of coachingothers to tap into their
intuition, overcome obstaclesand live more purposefully.
She combines her expertise inenergy work.
We're both also certified inReiki.
Communication skills andmindset in order to generate
breakthrough results beyond herclients' wildest dreams.
(01:30):
Jen's work led her from Fortune500 corporations to executive
positions in the coachingindustry, where she's managed
coaching teams, designedcurriculums, taught business
development skills and organizedtransformative leadership
events.
Jen's guidance empowers coacheseverywhere to unlock their
genius and achieve their fullpotential.
(01:52):
You guys are going to love thisconversation.
We are talking about the fourvoices that we all have that
impact our lives and ourbusinesses, how to work with
them, what they are, how toidentify them and how to live
your best life to your fullestpotential.
You're going to want to takenotes.
Let's dive in.
Hey, Jen, welcome to the show.
(02:13):
Thanks so much for being here.
I'm super excited to chat withyou today.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Thank, you, Renee.
I am very excited to be hereand I'm very excited to have
your listeners kind of tune intoour conversation today.
I'm excited to get to know moreabout where we're going to go
today.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah.
So I want to you speak aboutthis, and I don't think it's
something that my audience isprobably familiar with, or has
heard it framed this way atleast, and so I really want to
sort of dive into this conceptof these four voices.
Right, you were talking aboutthese four voices that impact
your life and your business.
(02:49):
So give us a little bit of the30,000 foot view and let's dig
into these four voices.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Love that Absolutely.
So we might.
We find out that a lot of ushave acknowledged these voices
in our minds, but we may nothave been able to put a label to
them and really understood whatis their job, what is the
purpose, why are they here?
So we'll start with the threeones that maybe don't serve you
(03:17):
so much.
About the, you know the magicbullet to everything, but the
three voices that don't reallyserve you too much, or at least
not until I tell you how theycan serve you.
Um is your inner critic, yourinner child and your inner ego,
and so, um, those are the threevoices that are.
You might have acknowledgedthem.
You might be going oh yeah, jen, I know what you're talking
(03:38):
about.
It's that little voice thattells me I can't do it, the one
that says I'm not good enough,the one that says don't do that,
you're, you're going to gethurt.
Those type of of little voicesare in your mind.
So we want to acknowledge them,acknowledge that they have a
purpose, learn from them, andthat is actually how we're going
(03:58):
to quiet them, and we'll talkabout that as as we go to the a
hundred thousandth of you.
And then, of course, we have ourother voice, which is our
intuition.
So I like to call it the foureyes which I is talking to you.
So when you're understandingwhat's going on in that
self-talk, you want tounderstand which I is talking.
Is it your inner critic, yourinner ego, your inner child,
(04:18):
which we're going to dive indeeper, or is it your intuition?
And this is, of course, myfavorite topic and a lot of you
might be saying well, jen, Ihave an intuition, I know what
my intuition is.
That's great.
So I'm not I.
There's four steps, and I wassharing with Renee earlier.
There's four steps to reallydeveloping your intuition.
So you might be massivelyintuitive and you might now be
(04:39):
able to use those intuitionskills that you already have
developed and understand how tohandle and work with the other
three voices.
Or some of you were like Idon't know what anything that
you're, you know I.
I'm really excited to hearabout how they're all related.
So, those are our four.
We call it the four voices andit's the four eyes.
So you want to always checkwith yourself which I is talking
to you in your mind when you'remaking decisions or having
(05:03):
conversations or something comesup in your life.
So that's the.
That's a little bit of anoverview.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I love that and I love how you've categorized them
, cause, yes, I mean, I think alot of people might be familiar
with the inner saboteur and theinner critic, and you know what
I mean.
That voice tends to be prettyloud for creatives, I have found
for a lot of people, butcreatives with very overactive
brains and anybody who issensitive and a little empathic
(05:31):
tends to have a little bitstronger and sometimes nastier
inner critic.
So what can somebody do, then,to identify which of these four
voices is currently dominatingthe decision-making process?
Perfect question.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So let me tell you two, two again.
I'm gonna do a little bit ofcomparison.
So we'll do like the threevoices that don't serve you, and
then, of course, your intuition.
So the three voices that don'tserve you this is the metaphor
that I like to use.
They're like a bull in a Chinashop.
They like to come in withoutpermission, they get loud.
They're like a tantrum.
They want to be seen, they wantto be heard and they want to be
(06:11):
in control.
Okay, so they're going to comeout of nowhere and they're not
going to be quiet.
Now, the difference is with yourworking, with your intuition.
Your intuition is always thereand it needs to be called upon,
so it's aware that you'rewilling to listen to what it
says.
Okay, now there's a.
There's a couple of differentthings.
So I remember it same same withwhat you were just talking
about.
When you look at the threevoices, my three voices that
(06:33):
weren't serving me, my innercritic was also running amok.
So let me tell you what eachone of their jobs is they're
doing, so that will help youidentify them.
Then I'll tell you how yourintuition can support you with
that.
Is that fair enough?
Okay, yeah, so let me startwith the inner ego, because
that's the one that is mistakenthe most, believe it or not.
Most people, like you said, canidentify their inner critic.
(06:56):
They're like, oh, I know whatthey're telling me to do.
So that inner ego is the onethat's most misidentified, and
some people actually think it'stheir intuition.
So put a little asterisk nextto intuition.
If you're taking notes unlessyou're driving, you can go back.
But take little notes next tointuition.
It is always, always, always,always, always, always, always,
(07:16):
always kind.
So that's your first clue.
If anything in your self-talkis not kind to you immediately,
not your intuition, nope, it's.
So then you're going.
That's the first clue.
So well, and then you can.
Then you can go over and figureout which of the other three
voices that might be yourintuition.
This is your little star isalways kind and not always
(07:38):
gentle, so it will give you thatgut punch, right.
Your intuition will give youthat.
Aha, it'll be like darn it.
I think I knew that and it'sstill kind.
So it's not always gentle.
So we have it's really fun.
We have in our, in our company,our clients, my, my business
partner and I we talked about itand we're like it's like
getting hit with like a deadfish across your face, right,
(08:09):
you're just like right, and thenit's great meme where this fish
is just jumping out of out ofthe water and hitting a
fisherman over over the face.
So we're like, oh my gosh, it'slike getting hit with a dead
fish.
So then to date myself, so nowour clients have called our
loving fish Wanda after themovie of fish called Wanda.
I love it.
So our shorthand, our clients,is like oh my gosh, that was a
Wanda moment, which means it wasan intuitive, like gut punch,
like oh my gosh, like Eureka,like I can't believe I didn't
see that before that intuitivehit.
(08:30):
I'm not all of them are thatway.
Some of them are just very muchknowings, as you all, as you
all know.
Your intuition doesn't have tobe that Wanda moment and some
people mistake that as not yourintuition.
So your intuition is alwayskind it.
That is not your intuition.
So your intuition is alwayskind, it can come in gentle and
it can come in like a Wanda.
The other thing is about yourintuition that you're going to
(08:51):
make a little star note about.
It is it will always, always,always take you into your best
interest, always.
So if you know that you have anintuitive hit and you can learn
to trust it and then takeinspired action from it, it will
always be toward your betterself.
I know I said I was about theother three voices, but
apparently we're going to talkabout intuition first, so we'll
switch it back here in just asecond.
(09:12):
I got excited, okay.
So then the other thing aboutintuition, another thing I want
you to make a little star noteabout is not only is it always
kind, there's no judgment.
So I think about the othermetaphor that I use with your
intuition is it's like your GPS.
Your car GPS does not judge you.
If you made a wrong turn, itdoesn't start blaming and
shaming you.
(09:32):
If you made a left instead of aright, it doesn't blame and
shame you.
If you miss the off ramp, itdoesn't blame or shame you.
If you got lost, what is yourGPS do?
It just says turn, turn right,turn left, no worries,
redirecting, make a U-turn,there's no judgment.
So the moment any judgment,blaming, shaming, comes in.
(09:54):
It's not your intuition, it'sone of the other three voices
trying to keep you.
When I tell you their jobs,it'll make sense.
So those are your notes, foryour intuition is, it's kind,
not always gentle, doesn't judge, and it's like a GPS and will
always lead you in the direction, even though you might be like
I don't know.
So some people compare fear andanxiety with excitement.
(10:17):
So we want to learn to discernthose, because it could be in
the, you could feel itsomatically and it's the same
chemicals.
It's the same chemicals, it'sthe same chemicals.
And so we are inner critic,inner child or inner ego.
Label it fear and anxiety,because they want to be loud
versus your intuition.
It's like that's excitement,anticipation.
Anticipation is not a negativeemotion.
(10:37):
Anticipation is that excitement?
It's that.
What's next?
It's the that I want moreversus fear and anxiety.
That's what we want to discern,so that's our intuition.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
So now, as as I said before, let's go talk about the
other places.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I got a little excited there.
Okay, so your inner ego isdefending the identity that
you've created up until now.
Okay, so what do we mean bythat?
So, when we come into thisworld, we are a blank
unconscious mind.
We are just brilliant and weare as source sees us.
(11:11):
Well as we grow up.
In some of our as some of ourtraining, even some of the
training that Renee and I sharetogether is in some of our
training we learn that in thoseearly years, zero to seven I
also have a degree in psychology, which, yeah, exactly.
So in that zero to sevenimprint age, we are given what
we call filters.
We're giving our values, we'regiving our our way of being,
(11:32):
we're giving all of ourexperiences and our life
experiences, and what happens isthat starts to suppress our
true identity because of outsideforces.
So you've had to defend thisnew identity that you've created
.
Okay, because your trueidentity because of outside
forces.
So you've had to defend thisnew identity that you've created
.
Okay, Because your trueidentity is what your intuition
is wanting you to get back to.
So, also in your, in youryounger years, is there was some
(11:55):
need that didn't get met.
Okay, some core root need thatdidn't get met.
So your inner ego is defiantand digs in and is defendant of
that identity that you've had tocreate, because you created
that identity in the first placeto be safe, to keep you safe,
(12:17):
keep you safe.
So you've created this newidentity.
So for me for me, I was like incorporate America and then I
ended up struggling withinfertility and so I left and I
became a full-time entrepreneurin 2002 and my um well,
ex-husband now.
I was married to a policeofficer for 25 years.
So part of my challenge leavingthat abusive relationship was I
(12:40):
had an identity that I wastrying to protect as being a
cop's wife.
I was not going to be anotherstatistic 70% of law enforcement
officers get a divorce.
I was not going to be thatperson.
So I had built up this identityand I was going to defend it
until the time and I and then no, I got divorced at the exact
perfect time and looking back,I'm like, oh, I see, I didn't
(13:05):
want to be another statistic.
My work is amazing.
But guess what?
I walked into my very first, myvery first coaching
certification.
I don't know if it was yourfirst, renee, but I walked in my
very first certification, whichwas neuro-linguistic
programming, my first of 16.
And I was like, oh my gosh, Ican save my marriage.
And instead I saved myself, andit was because I learned some
of these tools.
So your inner ego wants todefend the identity that you've
(13:29):
created.
Because you've created it to besafe.
There's nothing wrong with it.
So we need to not blame andshame these other three voices.
Not at all.
Exactly what do you?
What are you trying to tell me?
So your three voices are what I.
The metaphor I use for them isthey're your gas light coming on
in your car.
It's like hello, there'ssomething to look at.
(13:51):
Now, some of us have annoyingthree voices, and then I relate
those to the battery in yoursmoke detector that goes off at
3 am, where you just want toburn your house down.
You want to take the broom andyou want to just make it stop.
It's 3 am, but that's themetaphor Again, it's just saying
hey, in order for you tofunction, in order for the car
(14:13):
to drive, in order for the smokedetectors to do their job, in
order for you to listen to yourintuition, you deserve to listen
to what they have to say.
So if we can look at our threevoices as lessons and lights,
and the gas light coming ongoing.
Oh, I need to pay attention.
Once they feel seen and heardfrom your intuition, they will
(14:35):
quiet.
So that's a little divergent,but that's more of like how to
classify the three of them.
So your inner is is shows up asdefiant, it shows up as digging
in, shows up I want to be right.
It shows up very righteous andagain, it serves a purpose.
So I'm not going to blame andshame any of you all that have
that come out.
Mine comes out every once in awhile too.
(14:56):
It's just more awareness.
Okay, so now your inner critic.
This is the one that, like youwere saying, you probably
connect with the most.
Your inner critic isfascinating because it knows
your current problems.
So your inner critic knows howfor you to feel like an imposter
.
Your inner critic knows how itfeels to be alone.
(15:16):
Your inner critic knows how todeal with the financial
situation that you're in, evenif all of those things are
shiitake mushrooms, which meanswhat do I say?
So I don't know what languageyou allow on here, but we're
growing.
I had to say I couldn't sayshiitake mushrooms, so how much
are you in your shit?
So your inner critic knows yourshiitake mushrooms and it knows
(15:42):
how to stay in that blender ofwhatever you want to call it.
It knows how to deal with youwhen you get depressed.
It knows how to deal with whenmoney isn't working.
It knows how to whatever.
You got whatever.
And you're all free from all ofthis, like none.
I'm not installing any of this,it's just a way.
This is what your inner criticdoes, is it wants you to know
again that you're safe in yourcurrent problems.
(16:05):
I know how to deal with you.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So what happens is your intuition is trying to pull
you into brilliance and yourinner critic is like Nope,
because I don't know how to dealwith those problems.
Because your inner critic isn'trealizing that your intuition
will never lead you into moreproblems.
But your inner critic is scared.
So it's just kind of like but Iknow how to deal with this.
So you know what, if you dothat, you're going to get hurt.
If you do that, you're going tofail.
(16:28):
If you do that, they're goingto see that you're an imposter.
What other shiitake mushroomswe're telling ourselves?
Our inner critic knows how todeal with your current problems.
So your inner ego, what youwant to honor, is that you want
to honor the identity that youwere building and you want to
let it know that it's great itdoesn't need to protect that
identity anymore.
It can start bringing up yourtrue identity With your inner
critic.
You want to acknowledge that itknows that it kept you safe up
(16:53):
until this point and you'restrong and brave and courageous
and decisive and discerned andintuitive and magical and
empathetic and compassionate,that you can follow your
intuition.
So you almost want to give yourinner critic a chance to know
that you're going to be okay.
So then you've got your innerchild.
(17:13):
Now, your inner child is whereyou hold your negative emotions
of hurt and betrayal and you'reall free from all of this.
So again, your inner child.
Of course, you're going to behurt from the ages of zero to
seven.
It's called life.
We didn't come into this worldand we didn't choose to be on
this planet and have this humanexperience to live up in
(17:37):
euphoria.
Then we wouldn't be here.
So it's about we made thechoice.
Depending on your beliefs, whichis where that is for you,
whatever your definition ofsources is fine by me is that we
chose to come experience thehuman experience and the human
experience the end of the lineis to acknowledge and to see how
source sees us, and yourintuition is is the one that's
(17:59):
letting you show you.
This is how source sees you.
To get back to that, so ofcourse, you're going to
experience these hurt andbetrayal and some of their
negative emotions in that zeroto seven, which again is your
inner child, is trying to, istrying to keep you safe.
So again they're, they eachhave a role of holding you into
the identity that you've created.
(18:20):
Now the inner child holds theneed that wasn't met.
So your inner ego is defendingthe identity that you created
because the other identity issuppressed and your inner child
has created its defense becauseit didn't get the need that was
met and that we call that yourroot cause.
(18:41):
So I do as we mentioned.
The beginning is is we take ourI have six, over 16 coaching
certifications in differentmodalities, from unconscious
mind to conscious mind, tointegration, and it's all about
the integration of the consciousand the unconscious mind.
So that is what those threevoices are doing inside of your
(19:01):
head.
So if you find yourself wantingto be right if you're saying to
yourself, like I said to myself,I am in the right, that he is
wrong for cause I, my, myex-husband was, was more
emotionally, mentally abusive.
There was no physical abuse,but it was very emotionally,
mentally, and he had addiction.
And I didn't blame him.
I you know people went offtheir behaviors, I was just like
(19:23):
.
This is his coping mechanismfor his own inner critic, inner
child and inner ego.
So I held space for that and myego would show up and be like
and he is wrong to choose thealcohol over me and our girls.
That's my ego.
That is not my intuition.
My intuition was not telling meto blame and shame him and that
(19:43):
was my last thing that I had torelease for the divorce.
Now, where are you all defendingthat you are right?
If you are feeling that youhave to dig in and be right, I
would encourage you to look atwhat does your inner ego really
want you to know?
Because it's not that you'reright, because it's not about
being right, exactly Cliche.
Would you rather be right orhappy?
(20:04):
Well, some of us would ratherbe right, and it's because the
inner ego is in charge.
Your intuition would rather behappy.
So that's why we have to pullit in and get the guidance.
Now, again for my inner criticI could not make a decision to
save my life because I thought Iwas going to do everything
wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
That's what happens a lot with people, right, is that
?
Especially when that innercritic is so loud?
That's when you hear at least Ido from people all the time.
I know what the answer is.
Why can't I get it done Likewhat, what, that?
You know I'm in my own way thatkind of stuff, right?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, because for you to grow, you have to, and now
this is another topic.
If you want me to come back, wecan talk about this.
I'm a humongous proponent andstay in your fricking comfort
zone.
Do not go outside of yourcomfort zone.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, so what does that mean?
Yeah, let's go into that alittle bit.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Oh my gosh, okay, okay, the opposite of what most
people hear right, because theypeople.
this is a thing that, and youknow, cause of your work too.
I do want to finish the fourboys, so I will go into senior
comfort zone.
Okay, you're putting it on ourtime.
I just want to make sure Irespect everybody's time, but
that's a whole nother thing.
But I'll tell you why.
The way that you can connect andfind what's going on with your,
with your inner ego, your innercritic and your inner child, is
(21:16):
your intuition.
Your intuition is thetranslator, so you can write
this down.
This is one of the nuggets Ididn't tell you before.
Your intuition is the triflator, excuse me, between the
conscious and the unconsciousmind.
So you're consciously tellingyourself I'm not good enough,
I'm a fraud, I am an imposter,I'm not smart enough, I'm going
(21:38):
to be.
You know, the big more I'm seen, the less I'm going to be
respected.
What's that?
Other cliche Dogs don't chaseparked cars.
So if I just stay like a parkedcar, if I just stay stuck, then
no one will poke at me becauseI don't feel strong enough.
So whatever is coming up foryou and then, of course, your
(21:58):
inner child is, that's the hurtand betrayal.
So then, of course, if I justuse the story of my divorce.
I felt, of course, I felt hurtand betrayed and abandoned
because of the alcohol versus meand then.
So the way that my intuitionsupported me in that and then
I'll move into the comfort zoneis now okay.
I want to preface this becausesome of you will hear things and
(22:19):
take what I'm going to say andgo crazy, so I'm going to.
So I'm going to preface it withlisten to my words, because
some of you will hear it andtake it down because of your
filters, which is totally fine.
But hear this.
So what I had to understand nowI do not take responsibility
for his decision to drink.
So this is where I get some,some, some feedback, because
(22:40):
they're like well, wait, you'renot responsible for him drinking
.
No, he's responsible for hiscoping mechanism, which he chose
was drinking.
Okay, that's not me what, buthere's what I did have to take
responsibility for and this iswhat my intuition gave me.
This is what quieted my threevoices.
This is what went went from ahigh conflict divorce, where I
(23:02):
had to have a high conflictmediator, to the end of the
divorce where the mediator waslike I don't even know who you
are because you started as highconflict and you're like my best
dream clients ever.
And it's because I did this.
What I'm about to tell youright now is I took
responsibility because I changedthe picture.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Yeah, no, I get that, I grew.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
He wanted me to stay Cause again.
We were together for almostnine years before I got pregnant
.
We were together a whole.
We met 20 and 21 and 22.
I didn't have my daughter tillI was 30.
We were married.
We had a home.
He was a police officer.
I had a career in corporateAmerica.
That was the picture that wasin his mind.
(23:49):
I changed the picture andbecame a full-time entrepreneur.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Because you know, that's easy right.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
That's the best.
If you ever want the bestpersonal development, become an
entrepreneur.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Seriously.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So I had to take responsibility for changing the
picture.
So once I took all that back, Istopped blaming and shaming him
.
I stopped blaming and shamingthe alcohol.
I stopped blaming and shamingmyself.
I stopped staying stuck themoment I asked for the divorce.
30 days later, we hit sevenfigures in our business during a
pandemic year.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Because I asked for the divorce in 2020, in
September.
Actually, I knew I was gettingdivorced in October.
In September we hit.
I asked for it on the 6th andthat month we went seven figures
in our business.
Everything opened up.
Every block was gone.
When I took what was myresponsibility yeah, that's the
hardest part.
That's what coaching is for,Because you can't see the label
(24:44):
from inside the jar.
I'm in my shiitake mushrooms.
I couldn't see that.
I was demanding that he pick meand like how dare you talk to
your girls like that?
Do you want your?
I was blaming and shaming him,which means I was blaming and
shaming myself, as we all knowwhat perception is projection is
Okay.
So that?
So your intuition is thetranslator.
(25:05):
So I am going to offer you alla free gift which will explain
this, and then I'll go into.
I'll give you a brief oncomfort zone.
I will not leave without that,if you guys can hang for a few
minutes.
So you want to learn how tounderstand what your three
voices are, what are they tryingto tell you and what do you
(25:26):
deserve to learn about yourself?
And you can't do that on yourown, you can't do that in your
conscious mind and you can't dothat from your three voices.
The only way you're going toget those answers is from your
intuition.
So those of you who are alreadyintuitives I'm hoping you just
had an aha, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can take my intuition 20
times deeper and then you canstart to discern which voices
(25:47):
and how to pull which learningsare important to you, because
you're already getting intuitivehits and those of you that are
newer on your journey the freegift I have for you is is a
series of 23 meditations.
You don't have to do them in 23days, you just please do them in
order, because they build upand they actually develop that
intuition and finding your fourvoices and getting the learnings
(26:08):
and getting the releasing.
So you don't have to listen tothem in 23 days.
You can.
I would just please listen tothem in order, and one of them
is specifically how to turn downyour four voices.
So that's the free gift that Ihave for everyone.
That was what we really talkedabout, but I'm absolutely going
to tell you why you stay in yourcomfort zone Real quick, before
we get into that.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I want to pull up my little highlighter and because
what you said a few minutes agoI think will resonate with so
many people, especially women.
I have a lot of femaleentrepreneurs in my audience who
are creative overthinkers, whotry and logic their way out of
all of this, which is, you know,the other three voices.
(26:48):
So the other thing that youmentioned, though, specifically,
was taking responsibility foryour changing, basically your
evolution, right?
You changed the game, I think,is how did you change the
picture?
I changed the picture, yes,Right.
So, which means you grew right.
You decided you wantedsomething different.
You decided you wanted moresomething.
(27:09):
Whatever.
This happens a lot in marriages.
Now I have been, obviously,you've seen it too.
I've been married for a really,really long time and I can
pinpoint at least four times inour marriage that I have
incrementally done that myhusband has come along right
with me.
Now, the thing about it is thatthat doesn't always happen, and
(27:34):
you really, sort of like,highlighted that, and so I hear
from women all the time in mycoaching this, this sort of
thing right here, and I thinkthat if you are listening and
you are struggling with that,you are struggling with the
blaming, the resentment of allof these things.
Maybe you have evolved or youwant something bigger, better.
(27:56):
Your intuition is calling youto level up and that may not
translate to your partner.
I always like to just sort ofemphasize that you know there's
going to probably be many timesin your marriage if you're lucky
that you have the opportunity,if you choose to look at it that
(28:20):
way and the other person doestoo, obviously to continuously
rework, readjust and sort offight together for this work
together for this marriage.
So if you feel like you're inthat place, that's really a
great place to start.
Is what you were talking about,jen is to take responsibility
(28:41):
for that and hopefully that willhelp someone who's listening
who might be struggling withthat, and hopefully that will
help someone who's listening whomight be struggling with that
because I think that probably alot of people are.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
When you get to that point, all three of your inner
voices have come together andunited and you're like I can't
defend myself to them.
And that's the biggest growthof them all, because I didn't
know that when I tookresponsibility that the divorce
(29:23):
was going to be there.
I took responsibility first,right, and then I went and
looked back at all of the cluesand so, ladies and gentlemen, or
ladies or whoever we're talking, this goes both ways.
Yeah, I was stuck in the fearcycle.
I stayed in that for probablyabout eight of the 25 years and
(29:43):
I'm four years out, three yearsout, almost four years out, on
the other side and it, yeah, itwas that anticipation and if you
can continue to go inside andcontinue with the voices, you
will heal at every step of theway.
Like I said, we started with ahigh conflict mediator that
would we'd be in there and thenshe'd immediately like on zoom
(30:05):
rooms, cause it would get thatintense, and then, towards the
end, she's like invasion, thebody snatchers, like what
happened.
I'm like I stopped those threeboys, I stopped listening and I
started listening to myintuition Now, he's basically
remarried and I have no judgment.
He's basically remarried.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, you are basically.
When you're doing that too, youare becoming that neutral
observer, because that's whatyour intuition is Like we were
talking about before.
There isn't the judgment there,it's it just is, it's like it
just is and what was happeningis by me fighting it.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
So let me go back to what I even tie it back to what
I was saying earlier.
By you fighting it and I knowsome of your three voices are
going crazy right now I get it.
By listening to that you arecontinuously suppressing the
identity that you were here tobe and you're continuously not
getting that need met.
(31:02):
So right now, the fear ofwhatever their three voices are
telling you is overpowering theknowledge that on the other side
you start to emerge, you startto get the need met that wasn't
met and you start to become intothe identity.
That source sees you, which Ipromise you is a gazillion times
better than what the otherthree voices are trying to keep
(31:23):
you.
They're just trying to know howto deal with the problems and
the shit that you're in now.
They don't know what's over here, but your intuition does and
remember, it's kind, not alwaysgentle.
It's a GPS.
It has no judgment.
It will always take you to theplace.
That will be the better side.
And when you can learn tounderstand how your
communication comes from yourintuition, you learn to trust it
(31:45):
and you learn to take theinspired action, you won't need
to be in that eight years You'llbe able to do it in eight days,
eight minutes, eight seconds.
You can shift by going oh, nope,I know, but what do you want to
tell me?
And inner critic, what do youwant to tell me?
Okay, I got it, my intuition.
What are they saying?
What does it mean?
What can I do?
What are my inspired actionsteps?
(32:06):
So, instead of taking action,action, action, which is what
some people are just like, justget into action which we've got
time.
Now I can lead into the comfortzone.
It ties right into that versustaking inspired action, which
means it's coming from intuition, knowing that it's taking you
in the direction, from intuition, knowing that it's taking you
(32:29):
in the direction, even if it'santicipatory or excited, you can
go do Okay.
So I thank you so much forbringing a point to that.
It's super important and I andI and I help a lot of people
because I had a lot of guilt andblame and shame when I was
going through my divorce, causeI was like, how are my clients
going to see it?
Like, well, jen, your workdidn't fix your marriage, like
so I had a lot of that self-lovecritic.
(32:50):
I was like, well, I thoughtyour work was great.
Actually, I had a neighbor, oneof his drinking buddies was
like well, if your wife's workwas so great so I let other
people enter my brain.
I realized that I was like butwe've set ourselves totally free
.
He was not happy.
Now is he still using thatcoping mechanism?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
He is, but that's, that's his choice, that's his
decision, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
That's not for me and I now have the life that I want
.
So I, like I said, I wasn'tabout healing the marriage, it
was healing myself.
And we go a lot into theperceptions, projection and
creating your outside world fromyour inside world.
A lot of that stuff we do withour coaching as well, like you
do.
So people can really trulyunderstand that you have choice
(33:37):
back.
So, by listening to yourintuition, you have choice.
Listening to the other threevoices, you don't.
So if you get your power back,you're empowered, you have
choices, opportunities, um,creativity.
All of that comes from gettingchoice back and that's why.
So, again, I keep leading that,like Jen talked about that
comfort zone thing.
Okay, I promise, promise, it'sgoing to be a little bit of a
(33:58):
science lesson and it'll be fun.
Let's do it.
We talk about skydiving, okay.
So here we go.
So I'm going to use fear ofheights about skydiving, okay.
So here we go.
So I'm going to use fear ofheights, okay.
So, for those of you that arelistening, just imagine that I'm
holding my, my, my hands likethey're around a, like a glass,
like a, like a cup.
So my hands are in a circle andmy fingers are all touching,
okay.
So those of you that arewatching the video, you're like,
(34:19):
I see you, okay.
So if you're listening, I'vejust I've got my hand.
So this is your current comfortzone, and 99.9% of the people
out there they say a cliche, butthey don't understand what
they're, what the cliche reallymeans, and so I'm going to tell
you what the cliche means andthen you can make your choice.
Okay.
So they say, stay in yourcomfort zone.
(34:42):
So I get what their point is.
I mean, go outside your comfortzone.
I get that, but they say itwithout understanding the
neurology and what's actuallygoing on in your brain with,
like science, when you tellsomeone to do that.
So I'm going to explain it toyou and then you can choose what
you want to do.
Okay, cause I'm giving youchoice back.
So here's your comfort zone.
So the first thing I want youto note, if you're taking notes,
is your power, and your problemis inside your comfort zone.
(35:03):
So quit trying to go outsideyour comfort zone to get the
power.
It's inside.
Okay, so we're going to use fearof heights, right, cause I love
skydiving?
Okay.
So let's just say that, um,sally is afraid of heights and I
say, sally, you need to gooutside your comfort zone and
you're just going to conquerthis fear.
You're going to willpower it.
Oh wait, which voice conquersin his willpower Ego?
(35:28):
Does it serve us?
No, okay, we get the learnings,not the thing, okay.
So your inner ego, or whatever,and I'm just like, jump out of
the airplane, just overcome it.
You know, faith over fear, mindover matter.
No Language, no Language.
No, what you do because this iswhat happens is the person
(35:50):
that's telling Sally to jump outof the airplane is creating.
She jumps out of the airplane,she does it.
She's created a strongerneurological connection in her
synopsis of her brain that she'sscared of fricking heights.
Yeah, cause here's the deal.
She might do it and then shemight feel like, oh my God, I
(36:12):
did it.
The next time she has to go dosomething, she's just moved it
to something else, nope.
So if you think about it, I liketo use metaphor.
So think about it.
Imagine and I'm sure you'veseen a movie if you haven't
experienced it yourself or a TVshow where a truck has driven in
(36:32):
a dirt road, where it's beenraining right, and it makes a
lot of ruts.
Okay, so the dirt, so the dirtroad.
Then it comes back the next dayand it's all dry, but then
there's two ruts in the road andyou can't, you can't turn out
of.
It takes a lot to get out ofthat.
Well, if someone has, we callthat our neurological boundary,
okay.
I told you a lesson, but you gotit.
So it's neurological boundary,has this rut in it, that's fear
(36:56):
of heights.
Okay, so all you've done bymaking them jump out of an
airplane or make a sales call,you know, just just do it anyway
.
Make a sales call, um, you know, do.
Whatever you need to do is youmade that rut deeper.
They now they're just spuntheir wills and it's a
neurological boundary has gottenthicker and harder to get over.
(37:17):
Yeah, so this is why you stay inyour comfort zone.
So here, how about this?
And I think y'all will agree, Iconvert most people.
So your power and your problemsare in your comfort zone.
Why don't we go find out whythe frick Sally is scared of
heights and deal with that, whythe frick Sally is scared of
(37:42):
heights and deal with that.
So if you go inside the comfortzone and you go, okay, sally,
what is going on?
So we do what we call our, our,our processes.
We call it root cause coaching.
So it combines the consciousmind coaching.
It combines internationalcoaching, federation, cognitive
behavioral therapy, violentcommunication, neuro-linguistic
programming coaching, all of theconscious mind coaching.
So we do all of that.
So we get down and we find outwhat is, what is really the fear
(38:07):
of heights.
Then we use our unconsciousmind coaching, which includes
breath work, somatic coaching,hypnotherapy, energy work, huna,
all of the things and all thethings.
So then we find it in theunconscious mind, then we bring
it together.
It's like a little triangle.
We bring it together to the topand we integrate it with our
(38:29):
quantum release process, whichwe get the conscious mind and
the unconscious mind understand.
We release what it is and guesswhat, ladies and gentlemen?
Her comfort zone now expandsand she can choose whether or
not she wants to jump out of anairplane, right?
So never, ever, ever, ever, gooutside of your comfort zone.
(38:53):
Find what the challenge isinside, do the process of Well,
do the work.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Yeah, look at it Right.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Because I don't have any judgment on whether, like
I'm asking Sally to jump out ofan airplane, like when somebody
says, go outside your comfortzone, they don't understand what
they're asking you to do.
Neurologically, I want you tounderstand what they're asking
you to do and you can say okay,cool, thank you.
And I know what you really meanis find out what's stopping me
from doing the thing.
Clean it all up in myunconscious mind so that I can
(39:25):
then choose to do it, so I canhave the results.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah, and feel empowered doing it and not as
though you were still outside ofthat control.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Yeah, because it's absolutely so.
You, you deserve to find outwhat's stopping you the first
way, cause I guarantee you,what's stopping you is one of
the three voices.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
It's trying to keep, it's trying to protect an
identity that you've already had.
It's trying to know the problem, it knows how to deal with the
problems that you currently have, or it's trying to not get you
emotionally and, of course,physically I don't.
I think skydiving is amazing.
I just did a talk with Suzanneon Suzanne Evans stage yesterday
and she was like Jen, I loveyou and no way are you and I
ever jumping out of an airplane.
I'm like, all right, fair enough, it's just whatever your fear
(40:08):
is.
If your fear of divorce, thengo find, don't go outside your
comfort zone and stay in it orjust do it without any support
is go figure out what's going on, expand your comfort zone and
guess what?
The universe and your intuitionsometimes even with all of
especially those, this audiencethe universe is divinely
(40:31):
programmed to give you exactlywhat you want and it will lay it
all out for you.
The more you go outside yourcomfort zone, the more you're
going against your intuition andagainst the universe.
Stay inside, clean up yourshiitake mushrooms and expand it
and have choice.
Do you choose to do this?
Do you know?
Now the choice of a divorce ispositive, not out of necessity,
(40:53):
because to me, when I firststarted, I was like I just want
it to stop.
I want the mental stuff to stop, I want the emotional stuff to
stop.
I stopped being two-faced,meaning I'm out here, I'm
amazing and at home it's a shitshow.
I was done, my girls are likewhat's happening.
And then everything else in mylife transpired.
Now again, I've helped hundredsand thousands of people.
(41:14):
I have helped thousands ofpeople.
I have helped thousands ofpeople and I've helped a lot of
people understand that theirmarriage is absolutely the best
thing for them and absolutelythe thing that they get to move
on from.
It doesn't matter.
I have no attachment.
I have zero attachment.
All I want is your happinessand your vibration, to be you,
(41:35):
following your intuition.
I have zero attachment.
I'm having fun, I'm going out,I'm doing my thing and if I'm
going to ever get remarried,great.
If not great, like I don't.
I used to freak out about that,I mean in my fifties I'm like I
don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah.
It's been the best thing ever,because I just let my intuition
guide me, and it's that thepower of curiosity and what, if
you know, living in thepossibility is so beautiful.
Thank you so much.
That is amazing and thatresource that you are gifting
the listeners is going to besuper valuable for them.
So you guys, absolutely makesure you download that.
(42:11):
I'm going to put all of thatinformation in the show notes
for y'all.
And if people want to connectwith you, where do you like to
connect with them best?
Speaker 2 (42:20):
So um you.
The best social place to findme is on LinkedIn.
Um it's name, so um you'll.
You'll see it in the name, orit's Jen Benninger with two.
N's Benninger with one.
It's kind of funny.
Um, I did marry into a namethat rhymes.
It's kind of fun.
I decided to keep it for mydaughters, of course, but, yeah,
married into a name that rhymes.
(42:41):
So LinkedIn is the best place.
That's where I post a lot of myteachings and where you can
message me and get on calls anddo all that fun thing.
Of course, we have a website ifyou're really curious, and what
Genius Unlocked does?
We are a coaching instituteit's geniusunlockedcoach.
If you're interested in our inour website.
If not, the free gift is justis absolutely.
(43:01):
My gift for you is thosemeditations.
Again, you don't have to listento them in 23 days, but please
listen to them in order at leastthe first time, and then you go
back and find your favorites.
They are all guided meditationsand they are.
They are there to support youin understanding what's going on
with those four voices anddeveloping that and getting that
choice back, getting thatcreativity back, getting that
curiosity back.
(43:21):
That's all what it's based onand it's absolutely my pleasure
to have hung out with you, nomatter when you're listening to
this.
I love podcasting, right, renee?
They stay on the internetforever, so who knows when
you're actually listening tothis or watching this.
It's just been an absolutepleasure, so thank you for
having me.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This was awesome.
So many good takeaways in thisepisode.
I hope you are able to go backand listen.
If you didn't have a chance toreally sort of integrate
everything that we were talkingabout, maybe bookmark this and
go back and listen later.
Maybe you took notes and maybeyou can go back and look at
(44:06):
those as well.
I really hope that one of thetakeaways is that you learn to
discern and listen to yourintuition, and you know, jen and
I both are very passionateabout wanting other people and
wanting to help other peoplelive in their fullest and
highest potential to help otherpeople live in their fullest and
highest potential.
So this was just a littlesnippet of how you can embark
upon that journey, and I knowthat her meditations that you
(44:29):
guys are going to get for freein the show notes are going to
be really super helpful fory'all.
So definitely download those,and I'd love to hear any of your
other takeaways as well, andI'd love to hear any of your
other takeaways as well.
I don't know if any of you havereally heard about these four
voices before.
Maybe we've spoken about themin different ways and framed
them in different ways, but alot of the things that I speak
(44:50):
about on this podcast are rightin line with all of that, and
I'm very much a proponent oflooking at having the awareness
okay, what is actually going on,especially in terms of that
comfort zone?
Yes, we want to grow and wewant to stretch, but you have to
feel empowered to be able to dothat.
(45:11):
And if you're just sort ofblindly taking action because
you know you want to sort ofdesensitize yourself to
something, like she said, thatcan actually cause a deeper
neural pathway, and so we wantto really be paying attention to
the intention behind all of theaction that we're taking that
(45:35):
inspired action and reallylooking at that root cause,
looking deeper, going.
Okay, what is there for me?
Why is this coming up?
Why is this a trigger for me?
Why am I defending this?
Why do I feel so cynical?
Why do I feel so resentful?
Whatever it might be, there's alesson in there.
There's definitely some gold inthat if you choose to look
(45:57):
deeper.
So I hope you do, and I'm hereto support you along the way as
you do.
Just reach out if you need anyhelp whatsoever.
I am a phone call away if youwant to grab a call with me and
see if we would be aligned towork together.
That link is below for you.
If you're a photographer andyou're looking for an amazing
and, you know, transformativeexperience that is not going to
(46:19):
break your bank, you got to lookat Elevate because it is very
accessible and you get a ton,including coaching with me.
All those links are for youbelow and I hope to see you guys
next week right here.
So hit me up on Instagram, letme know what you guys thought
about this episode.
You can go toratethispodcastcom to show us
some love.
That is so, so helpful for us,by the way, and I appreciate you
(46:43):
all.
So have a great week.
I love you.
Bye.
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