True North with Abby & Ryan

True North with Abby & Ryan

Abby (gratitude warrior & life coach) & Ryan (energy healer and artist) have an ongoingconversation about personal development, emotional wellness, and how to take cues from our bodies, minds, and experiences to find opportunities to grow as human beings.We share nuggets from our own journeys and coach each other towards wholeness andhealing, in hopes that our audience will take our invitation to grow alongside us.

Episodes

October 15, 2021 73 min

 There's no such thing as "Capital-T Trauma." Emotional trauma is simply any experience that drives us to deny parts of ourselves for the sake of staying safe.

Alexithymia (not feeling our feelings) can be attributed to trauma: we have experiences that drive us to close and lock doors in our "mansions of self," but in doing so, we lock away our access to the emotions attached to those experiences.
 
Can we change??

  • ...
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    **ANNOUNCEMENT: We are doing a virtual event!!**
      "The Art of Dropping Your Defenses: Reframing Your Relationship With Your Armor"
      Saturday, October 2, from 1:11 to 4pm CST
      $35. Register at truenorth11.com/the-art-of-dropping-your-defenses
     
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    ** 'NOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT: Abby is leaving the True North Tribe**
     
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    Following your True North means frequently realigning to make sure you're still...

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    September 25, 2021 70 min

    **ANNOUNCEMENT: We are doing a virtual event!!**
     "The Art of Dropping Your Defenses: Reframing Your Relationship With Your Armor"
     Saturday, October 2, from 1:11 to 4pm CST
     $35. Register at truenorth11.com/the-art-of-dropping-your-defenses
     
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    'Nother announcement: Ryan's audio is still bad. Boo.

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    Question from a Tribe member: "Perhaps censorship is when you feel forced to censor you sp...

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    **ANNOUNCEMENT: We are doing a virtual event!!**
    "The Art of Dropping Your Defenses: Reframing Your Relationship With Your Armor"
    Saturday, October 2, from 1:11 to 4pm CST
    $35. Register at truenorth11.com/the-art-of-dropping-your-defenses

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    Also, Ryan's audio is bad cause computers and software are rude.

    QUESTION:
    a) What's a part of yourself you have difficulty accepting?
    b) What part of yourself do you ha...

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    September 9, 2021 63 min

    **ANNOUNCEMENT: We are doing a virtual event!!**
    "The Art of Dropping Your Defenses: Reframing Your Relationship With Your Armor"
    Saturday, October 2, from 1:11 to 4pm CST
    $35. Register at truenorth11.com/the-art-of-dropping-your-defenses

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    In this episode, we talk about GUILT.

    “Guilt is anger directed at ourselves — at what we did or did not do.” — Peter McWilliams

    "Guilt is something abusers use to control you...

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    September 3, 2021 73 min

    **MOST IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Abby is on TikTok @indigoabby**

    **SECOND MOST IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: We are doing a virtual event!!**
    "The Art of Dropping Your Defenses: Reframing Your Relationship With Your Armor"
    Saturday, October 2, from 1:11 to 4pm CST
    $35. Register at truenorth11.com/the-art-of-dropping-your-defenses

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    In this episode, we dig into what emotional maturity means, and venture into discussing ...

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    QUESTION: Can you operate in victim consciousness AND be in your True North simultaneously?


    Drama Triangle —> Empowerment Triangle
    Victim / Persecutor / Rescuer —> Creator / Challenger / Coach


    Your "True North Self" is not some unassailably healthy version of yourself; it's the version of yourself that:

  • Notices when you're operating in victim consciousness
  • Compassionately meets yourself where you are
  • Regularly reori...
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    We're switching it up to 10-episode seasons with 2-week breaks between, for the foreseeable future.

    QUESTION: How are you a different person now than you were at the end of last season?

  • Abby - Learned the importance of rest
  • Ryan - Accidentally became an influencer

  • Can we make progress without setting goals? Yes. Set intentions instead, and stay in the present, meeting yourself with acceptance and compassion.

    As we grow and change, i...

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    May 14, 2021 70 min

    Dream analysis is a powerful tool to investigate your interiors. And the best part is, your beliefs about the nature of dreams (random meaningless neuron firings, astral projection, everything in between) have no bearing on how useful this practice can be. It's less about what a dream is and what's "really" happening when we dream, and more about what we do with our dreams in our waking hours. Here's the tool:

  • Na...
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    Visiting the past and future in healthy ways:

  • Visit, but don't live there
  • Be mindful of what you bring back to the present

  • What to bring back from the Past: Gratitude.
    What NOT to bring back from the Past: Remorse, Regret, Self-Judgment, Rumination.

    What to bring back from the Future: Open-Minded Anticipation.
    What NOT to bring back from the Future: Fear, Controlling Motivations, Baseless Projection.

    Regret: "I'm suffering the...

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    Ryan has recently gotten feedback in two of his close relationships, and we debrief how he's responded, both internally and externally.

    RSP (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) can come into play whenever we receive negative feedback. Perhaps you feel rejected by the other person, but it's also possible you reject yourself, and then react to that self-rejection. It's usually both.

    A process we settled on:

  • When receiving the fee...
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    April 23, 2021 71 min

    “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
    - Tony Robbins (probably)

    WHY DO WE RESIST CHANGE??

  • LOSS. There's a loss, which means pain. Even if there's a gain, it's unknown; the loss is always known. Known is more comfortable than unknown.
  • ANTICIPATION & PREDICTABILITY. A 2016 study showed that "knowing that there is a small chance of getting a painful electric shock can le...
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    Do your emotions have to attach to stories? Everything but the emotion is in your head.

  • "I'm afraid OF ______"
  • "I'm happy ABOUT ______"
  • "I'm angry AT  ______"

  • IMPORTANT POINTS ABOUT THAT:

  •  "Story" doesn't refer to the facts; it refers to what you make those facts mean for you.
  • "In your head" and "imaginary" don't mean "not valid" or "not real."

  • "Betwee...

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    Reasons to do your thing:

  • It brings you life.
  • To elicit reactions, positive and negative
     - NOT to help you hone your content based on the feedback.
     - BUT to help you decide how much weight feedback should have. (Marcus Aurelius)
  • You have to get through the shit to get to the gold. (quantity over quality)
  • You’ll discover yourself in ways you couldn’t without it.
  • Reasons to stop:

  • When the work is complete (this also applies to relationship...
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    March 25, 2021 68 min

    Abby and Ryan left off last podcast teeing up a follow-up episode about humility. We thought this would be that episode. The Universe had other plans. We sure did try, though. That's a lie. We really didn't. But we think we landed in an okay place.

    How Abby Manages a Full Plate:

  • Bag it. Ask yourself if it really needs to be done (no. It doesn't)
  • Barter it. Ask yourself if someone else can do it (then ask them to do it)
  • Bett...
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    March 18, 2021 70 min

    We talk about confidence, what it is, and what it's not. And surprise surprise, we don't exactly see eye to eye on the specifics. And that's part of what makes this thing magical.

    Definitions!

  • Ryan: Confidence is owning what you are, and not needing to be what you aren't.
  • Abby: Confidence has both positive and negative expressions: negative confidence is a mask you wear to cover up a lack of self worth; positive confid...
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    March 12, 2021 73 min

    Growth.

  • Sometimes, growth is less about discarding old versions of yourself, and more about integrating them.
  • Sometimes, growth is like outgrowing your sweater. If you keep it on after you've outgrown it, it'll suffocate you.
  • Sometimes, growth means forgiving your old selves instead of judging them.
  • Sometimes, growth means learning to validate and value yourself according to your own Inner Pilot Light (thank you, Lissa Rankin),...
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    March 5, 2021 67 min

    Abby unpacks four types of coping! Ryan takes notes. And has bad audio for some reason.

    The INEFFECTIVE ways to cope (they lead to burnout, keep you in fight-or-flight, and often exacerbate the problem):

  • Over-Control. Ruminating on the past and potential futures, spinning in your thoughts about a situation or other person.
  • Passive Coping. Complaining, numbing out, checking out, engaging in mindless activities a lot. Avoidance, habitua...
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    February 26, 2021 63 min

    **ANNOUNCEMENT**
    Our interviewee from Episode 31, TONY ISLAS,  is joining our weekly member call on March 16, at 7pm CST just to shoot the shit with our Tribe members! EEK! Sign up between now and then if you wanna hang with him over Zoom for an hour. Doooo it.

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    Abby shares that she hasn't been crying lately (and that's not normal for her), and Ryan shares a story that led him to correlate emotional blockage/flow with ...

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    February 19, 2021 71 min

    Ryan goes through a list of things over the past three episodes he wanted to say but didn't (ironically). And we discuss the things.

    The main theme undergirding this conversation is, know what you CAN control, know what you CAN'T, own what you CAN control, and don't own what you CAN'T control. 

  • Speaking up because of what might happen if you DON'T is just as bad as NOT speaking up because of what might happen if y...
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