November 12, 2024 • 25 mins
Have you ever wondered how societal expectations shape our self-worth and body image? This episode marks the exciting transformation of our podcast from "Pretty Powerful Podcast" to "Turn It Up," where we crank up the volume on what truly matters. We dive deep into my personal journey of self-discovery, starting with a pivotal moment in a sociology class that forever changed my perspective on body image. Join me as we challenge the negative self-talk that has held us back and learn to embrace self-love with the same enthusiasm we have for our favorite tracks.
As we take this journey, I encourage you to turn up the volume on your passions and join our vibrant community, the "Turn Up Squad." By sharing our stories and supporting each other's growth, we can lift future generations of women to live boldly and authentically. Stay tuned for more episodes, where we’ll Turn Up the voices of women redefining what it means to be POWERFUL, share empowering playlist picks, thought-provoking lyrics, and inspiring insights from things happening in the world. Let's go!!
Let's Connect:
https://www.facebook.com/DanielleNicoleLaRose/
https://www.instagram.com/danielle_nicole_larose/
https://www.daniellenicolelarose.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danielle La Rose (00:00):
What's up?
Turn it Up Squad, I am sofreaking excited that you are
here and we're doing thispodcasting thing together.
You may have noticed that thislooks a lot different than it
used to.
This podcast used to be calledthe Pretty Powerful Podcast, and
I am still all about livingthat pretty powerful life, right
Like taking back control of ourpower and understanding that we
(00:23):
weren't put on this earth tojust be pretty.
And so, with that, though, Ikept thinking and I'm going to
share here in a minute but whythis is Turn it Up and kind of
the real turning point the remix, if you will in my life, that
really shifted everything for meand got me here today, where
I'm so passionate about thismessage and the messages that
(00:46):
I'm going to be able to bring toyou here on this podcast, and
so, with that, I want to let youknow that today's playlist,
what you can expect is we'regoing to be talking about
understanding and accepting thefact that we cannot we cannot
silence the outside world.
We cannot control otherpeople's thoughts and opinions
(01:09):
and beliefs about us.
We cannot control what they sayor do towards us, but what we
can do is we can turn up what'smost important to us.
We can turn up our confidence.
We can turn up learning abouthow our bodies work and how the
world works, so that way we canstep more into our power.
So with that, I welcome you tothe Turn it Up podcast.
(01:36):
I consider for a long time,right of, should I even rebrand
Like is this necessary?
Do I want to?
The messages are very similar,like my purpose in life has
remained the same to empowergirls and women to truly be able
to look in the mirror and lovewho they see, and so nothing is
changing about that.
But as I kept thinking, I'mlike I'm not as excited about
(01:58):
talking about the prettypowerful podcast because it
wasn't really clear the messageto me, the types of guests that
I would have.
It's like I had wonderfulguests and all their episodes
are amazing.
You should go back and listento them and the guests are great
and the guests are gonnacontinue to be great.
But for me, I just had a hardtime clarifying what is the
point of this podcast, right?
(02:18):
Is it just a whole bunch ofstuff about talking about power?
Is it a whole bunch of stuffabout talking about power?
Is it a whole bunch of stuffabout what is it.
And so I decided to get realhonest with myself, because I
encourage all of my clients andeveryone that I'm surrounded by
like, hey, you got to makechoices that are right for you,
right Like what brings you joy.
And as I kept thinking aboutthat and as I was thinking about
the podcast, I wasn't really asexcited to tell people like,
(02:40):
hey, listen to the PrettyPowerful podcast.
But now I am so excited becauseI feel like there's a clarity
here.
Right, this is our turn upsquad.
This is for the women who trulywant to turn up all of the
things that are important tothem to figure out.
How can we turn up the voicesof powerhouse women?
How can we turn upunderstanding how our bodies
(03:03):
work and operate so we can leaninto that?
How can we turn up the volumeon psychology and sociology to
really understand, from ascientific standpoint of how we
can live really great, powerful,confident lives as women so we
can reach all of our goals Right?
And so every time I kepttalking about all these things,
it always came back to turningit up, and it also came back to
(03:24):
my own story of how I believe Istepped more into my confidence
when, for most of my life, I hadvery little, and so for me,
right, it was that turning point, it was the remix.
I want you, I want you, I justwant, like, before we jump in, I
want you to think about likeyour favorite song, right, like
(03:45):
the song that comes on and youare just like, oh my God, this
is my jam.
Maybe you can even imagineyourself back in the day at the
club.
The song came on and you'relike yes, and what do you
instantly say?
Or if you're in the car with afriend and you hear your song,
the song that hypes you up, thatgives you the energy you just
(04:08):
want to have a dance party, youwant to pop, lock and drop it,
and what do you say?
You always say turn it up,right, it's your favorite song.
Would we say, hear our favoritesong and say, turn it down?
No, obviously.
But what do we do with thesongs that we don't really
actually enjoy?
Right, that song where you'relike, oh my gosh, if I hear this
(04:28):
song one more time, it's likenails going down a chalkboard,
like what is this?
Who made this?
Who sings this?
Why did they even put this out?
Ow, and yet millions of peoplelove it, but I am sitting here
praying for the day I never haveto hear this song again.
You don't say turn it up, do you?
No, you probably say turn itdown and turn it off and please
(04:50):
don't ever make me hear thatsong again.
But what's going to happen?
What's going to happen isyou're going to hear that song
again because it's going to comeback on the radio.
Your kid might play it.
You're going to hear it on TV.
It's going to be played again,and you're going to keep doing
the same thing over and over andover again.
(05:11):
When you hear your favorite song, you're going to say turn it up
.
When you hear the song thatmakes you want to just cringe
and run away, you're going tosay turn it down.
And that is the same thing.
That goes for our lives, right?
What goes for our mindset is wehave these thoughts, right, we
have thoughts in our heads andwe have people that say things
(05:32):
to us and act certain waystowards us, and we can't control
that, right.
But what we can control is whatwe do for ourselves, what the
voices that we allow into ourheads and what we choose to our
heads and what we choose to turnup and what we choose to turn
down.
I think it's really importantthat we understand that we're
never going to be able to getrid of all of that right.
(05:54):
There's never going to be a daywhere you never have a negative
thought.
There's probably never going tobe a day where you don't hear
someone else have somethingnegative or opinionated to say
that you might not agree with.
There will never be that day,but what there will be is every
single day you have theopportunity to turn down those
(06:15):
voices a little bit and to turnup the ones that are actually
important.
That will change your life,that will help you step into
that confidence, so that way youcan be the powerful woman to
reach all of your goals and thatway we can raise confident
girls to do the same thing.
Because here's the thing yes, Iwant you to turn all of this up
for yourself.
I want you to live that greatlife.
(06:36):
But the main reason if I'm goingto be 100 with you is that all
of this is because I really hopethat we can build the next
generation of girls to neverneed a podcast like this, to
where they already are growingup obsessed and in love with who
they are.
They know their values, theyknow their strengths, they step
into their power.
They love and appreciate theirbodies for what they do.
(06:57):
They don't feel like they haveto change them to fit in and to
be part of a society that tellsus that a woman is supposed to
look a certain way.
I want that next generation togrow up that way and it starts
with us, and it starts with usturning up this volume for
ourselves, so that way we can bea great, positive example for
the next generation of girls.
So if I've convinced you, Ihope that I've convinced you a
(07:21):
little bit that that's the goalright and I don't need you to
strive for the day where you'relike, oh my God, I have no
negative thoughts about my body,I have no negative thoughts
about my career or my worth ormy value.
There's a chance that will everhappen.
But we don't need to beatourselves up over that.
What we get to do, instead ofsaying, okay, if that's never,
(07:42):
if that isn't necessarily goingto go away completely, how can I
make it quieter and how can Imake the other stuff a lot
louder?
And I'm so glad you asked,because that's what we're going
to do on this podcast, becauseevery guest that I'm going to
bring on, every episode that I'mgoing to bring to you, is with
that mission in mind of what canwe turn up?
How can we learn more about ourbodies and how they work?
How do we learn more about ourbrains and how they work so we
(08:04):
can become you know, useeverything that we have to live
better and to live happier andhealthier, right?
And how can we turn up thatself-confidence?
How can we turn up being abetter role model for girls?
How can we turn up the volumeon girls and women that are
doing really powerful things inthe world?
And that's what we're here forAll, right, so let's talk about
a different remix, right?
(08:25):
Like I've shared about therebranding and why, let's talk
about the remix.
In my life, that was that ahamoment.
When this happened, I literallyI feel like my jaw like hit the
floor.
I looked around this room and Isaw women that were had a
similar look on their face.
We were all in our early 20sthat had a similar look on their
face.
We were all in our early 20sand we just literally were like
(08:48):
this cannot be real.
Is this real?
And if this is real, thisexplains my entire life.
This explains why I'vestruggled my whole life.
This explains why I feel theway that I do about my body and
about myself.
This explains so much.
But then what that I do aboutmy body and about myself?
This explains so much.
But then what do I do about it?
(09:08):
And so, for me, that was thisremix moment in my life is when
I went all this completely newpath of this being my purpose
and my mission in my life.
And at that moment right, I'min my early 20s I was in grad
school.
I wasn't like I'm going to oneday host a podcast about how to
do this and how to love yourbody.
(09:29):
I never had that in mind, I hadno idea that this would
actually play out this way, butI remember that being a
monumental moment in my life.
Right, and it has played out inthis way and it's so.
I'm just so grateful.
Okay, so here's what happened.
(09:49):
What had happened was I wassitting in a sociology course
that's what I have all of mydegrees in, and you know.
But before that, before I waseven in college, I struggled my
whole life with my body image.
I can remember you've probablyheard if you've listened to any
of the podcast episodes.
You've heard me tell the storya million times that since sixth
grade, I really didn't wearshorts.
(10:11):
I would go to Disney World withmy family and I would be in
jeans, jeans I don't know whatthose are, but maybe that's a
new thing I'm going to createbut I was wearing jeans in like
105 degree temperature because Iwas so self-conscious of my
legs, because I had a lot ofcellulite.
That's just how my legs were.
And I remember being in sixthgrade and there was this, you
(10:34):
know, spirit week and I had itwas twin day and my best friend
is wonderful and she was like,oh my gosh, we're going to be
twins and it's hot outside, solet's wear this outfit.
And it included shorts.
Now, mind you, she had the legsof my dreams.
Mind you, she had the legs ofmy dreams.
I was like, if I had her legs,my life would be perfect.
I would be like a multibillionaire, like everything in
(10:56):
my life would just be perfect IfI just had her legs.
Have you ever had that thoughtbefore?
Like if I just had that, thenthat would make life so much
easier.
And so that's what my thoughtwas and, of course, I chose to
wear the shorts then, but it wasin that moment where I was like
I should not wear shorts likethis.
She can wear shorts, I shouldnot, because my legs are ugly.
I should change everythingabout my body and no one should
(11:21):
ever have to look at these legs.
And so, from that day forward,I really chose not to wear
shorts until I was probablyabout 24, 25, when I had a shift
in my mindset that changed alot for me.
And this, this defining momentfor me, is what has helped me,
(11:41):
from about that age to now, withevery single thing that I do.
It's it comes from this place,it comes from these few
questions that I want to sharewith you today and why it's so
important to me that we turn itup and also turn it down.
You know, the words and thethoughts in my brain since I was
(12:04):
like in sixth grade were I'mnot good enough, I'm not pretty
enough, my legs are ugly, I'mgross, I should change
everything, I'm not smart enough, I can't speak up Like every.
I had so much self-doubt and Iwas so self-conscious in my body
, so I had this playlist in mybrain that just kept going and
(12:27):
going and going and going towhere it came, to a point to
where I finally used all my highschool graduation money to have
a procedure to get rid of allof the cellulite.
And guess what?
It didn't work.
It was a scam, which there's alot of things that are scams but
the point is that I was willingto do whatever it took.
I took diet pills.
I would choose to only eat oncea day, and I'll share more of
(12:54):
those stories in the future.
But that's the playlist thatwas going on in my head and the
choices that I was making werebecause of that playlist that I
heard on repeat.
And then it then came thismoment where I was sitting in
this course and we watched adocumentary called Killing Us
Softly.
Even at that moment, thedocumentary looked and felt very
old.
So now I can't imagine andprobably feel like it's like
from the 1800s.
(13:15):
Like you know, it just wouldfeel like it's from so long ago.
But it was an older documentary.
But it didn't matter, becausethe documentary was about
society, about women, aboutpeople of different races and
just all of our differences andhow they came out in marketing
(13:37):
and how our bodies are used formarketing purposes.
You know, it showed us howfamous, very famous companies,
right, our marketing, for onething, for example, would be
their marketing t-shirts, uh,but the woman doesn't even have
a shirt on.
Like make it make sense?
Uh, you know, there would be,um, you know the the infamous
(14:01):
burger King, uh, commercial,where it's a very seductive way
of a celebrity eating a burgerto where, you know it's just
again sexualizing her.
It is seeing, you know, womenthat were used like to look like
scissors, and their body isjust like all dysfunctional,
(14:21):
like it, just all of thesethings to show how women are
portrayed in marketing and media, and the size right of all of
these types of products, frombeing toys for young girls to
being, you know, coke andjewelry and all the things for
adults.
And so it was this moment.
(14:42):
For me, though, when it allended, I was upset, but I also
was relieved because, at the endof it, I started thinking to
myself.
I've struggled my whole lifewith loving who I am, and not
just loving who I am, but reallyloving how I look and I thought
(15:04):
that that was the mostimportant thing, right?
That's the message that wereceive is that how we look is
the most important thing.
That's why people spend so muchmoney on losing weight, on lip
injections, on Botox on and I'mnot judging any of those things
you do you this?
You know like you should makechoices that are right for you,
but that's the reason why wespend all this money, right?
So look a certain way that isconsidered beautiful for our
(15:25):
society.
And in this moment, right, likewe end it, and I just it all
rushes over me of, oh my gosh,I've spent the last what?
15 years, however many yearshating my legs, hating my body,
feeling like I need to besmaller.
And then, when I watched thisdocumentary that showed all
these advertisements and showedall this stuff, I was like, oh
(15:46):
my gosh, this is why, this iswhy I have struggled for most of
my life.
This is why I feel like my legsaren't good enough, because I
didn't see anybody's legs thathad cellulite on them, right?
And I also saw advertisementsthat said here's the cream and
the potion and the lotion to getrid of your cellulite, because
it's ugly, you know.
And so I just I was like, okay,I've done all of these things
(16:10):
to try to look this certain wayand the reason is right in front
of me, and I never evenrealized it.
I never realized that thereason why I struggled so much
with my body image and myconfidence was because of all of
the stuff that was justflooding my brain from the time
I was a little girl justflooding my brain from the time
(16:34):
I was a little girl.
And so in that moment Irealized that my playlist in my
head was all dictated by outsideforces and I wasn't even aware
of it.
So everything that I do andeverything that I teach now, and
everything that this podcastwill be about, is going to be
based on shifting ourperspective, of figuring out why
do we have these playlists inour head right now?
(16:57):
Because so many of us havethese thoughts and feelings and
emotions and things in ourbrains that are happening that
we don't even realize and wedon't even know why.
We don't even know where thosethoughts came from and we don't
even take a second to figurethat out because we think
something's just wrong with me.
There are other.
Almost everyone else lovestheir body and they appreciate
(17:18):
themselves and they haveconfidence and they have success
.
It's just me, something's wrongwith me, and that's not the
case.
The case is that we have tofigure out where those thoughts
come from the playlists that arein our head and how can we
shift them in order to createnew playlists, to actually step
into our power and have theplaylists in our head that we
(17:41):
actually want to have.
So I want to share with you aquick power-up, a power-up tip,
for what can you do with this?
Right?
Like I don't like listening topodcasts that just give me a
story and I'm like okay, thatwas motivational, but like, okay
, cool, what do I do now?
Right?
So a power-up tip of the day isI want you to think about.
(18:03):
So think about the word power,and if you've been around for a
while, you know I play on theword power forever, because I
have a whole power methodologythat helps you figure out how to
do anything and achieveanything in your life that you
desire by using this method, andthe first letter is P, and so,
right now, I want you to focuson that.
The P stands for perspective.
(18:26):
When you come to a moment andyou can catch yourself having
some of those thoughts of I'mnot good enough, my body is ugly
, I need to change, like all ofthe thoughts that run through
your head, I want you to take asecond and I want you to ask
yourself why do I think this way?
Why do I think this way?
(18:49):
You can do this with anything.
I did this with my datingrelationships, I did this with
my education, I do this with mybusiness.
I do this with everything.
When I start having that thoughtin my mind, I say okay, why do
I think this?
And then, where do thesethoughts come from?
Do I actually feel this way?
Right, like, are these thoughtscoming from myself or am I
(19:11):
feeling pressure from theoutside world and those thoughts
are actually coming fromsomewhere else?
Because, let's be honest, ifwe're going to talk about my
cellulite, I don't see mycellulite.
It's on the back of my legs.
Why would I care what it lookslike?
That's your problem, not mine,and if you don't like it, don't
look at it.
So I realized that the reasonwhen I really asked myself these
questions when it comes toeverything, but specifically as
(19:34):
my example today about bodies,you know, when I asked myself
that question of is it?
Where does this thought comefrom and why do I think this I
realized that it comes fromsomewhere outside of me.
Because if I was just born bymyself in a room and I never saw
(19:55):
a quote unquote perfect body,and I never saw advertisements
for how to get rid of yourcellulite.
I would have never cared aboutthe cellulite, because I
probably would have never evenseen it, let's be honest.
So the reason why I cared,though, is because everyone else
is telling me that I shouldcare about it, that I should
change it, that it is bad and itis ugly.
(20:17):
So when I take out that P and Ifocus on that perspective and I
ask myself those questions, ithelps me come back to reality
for myself, and then you get toask yourself do these thoughts
align with my values, my purpose, my passion and my priorities?
And if the answer is no, right,like my passion, purpose
(20:41):
priorities is not.
Like, my top priorities are notto have the perfect body, so if
they're not my top priorities,then why am I going to be
stressed about some cellulite onthe back of my legs that I
can't even see?
So I want you to remember thisas you go throughout your days,
when you have those thoughtscome up, I want you to remember
the power method and, using thatP, of understanding your
(21:04):
perspective.
Why do I think this?
Where did these thoughts comefrom, and do they align with my
values, my purpose, my passionand my priorities.
And then, if you're able to, inthat moment again, we're going
to talk throughout this podcastof how can we shift that and
what can we do about it.
But that instant check ofyourself will help you come back
(21:25):
to reality of what's reallyimportant to you, instead of
making choices and feelingfeelings and having thoughts
that are important to everybodyelse.
Okay, real quick, quick momtrack.
If you are a mom of a girl, Itold you before my mission is to
help young girls grow up moreconfident than we ever imagined
possible.
(21:45):
So if you want to raise aconfident daughter making really
good choices, hello, I'm sureyou do.
If I was a mom, I would youknow.
I remember being a young girland a teen and I can only
imagine the stress and theoverwhelm that comes with being
a girl mom and truly wanting herto feel confident in her body
(22:06):
and make choices that are rightfor her.
Her to feel confident in herbody and make choices that are
right for her.
If you are feeling that way,number one, you can help her.
Use that pee also right.
One of the most powerful thingsthat we can do for young girls
is to help them see likemarketing and social media and
different things, and realizewhere some of the thoughts they
have might come from, and so, ifyou can help her you know when
(22:28):
she has those thoughts, helpingher ask those questions of why
do you think that way and wheredid those thoughts come from?
Sometimes they're going to comefrom the mean kid at recess,
and sometimes they're going tocome from hearing an adult say
something about who knows rightLosing weight, so it's important
to give her these tools as well, which is also what we do in
(22:51):
our Pretty Powerful Girl program.
So, at the same time, though,what's important for you to
remember as a mom of a girl, isthat you get to turn up for
yourself first and I knoweveryone tells you that and you
don't want to hear it anymorebut the most based on scientific
research, the best thing thatyou can do, especially for body
image for girls, is to firsttake care of you, to shift your
(23:15):
playlist, to shift what you'rereplaying in your head right,
and quieting those negative,turning up the positive and
turning up the things that areactually going to help you live
the life that you want, becausethen she's going to see you
being that woman and she's goingto do what you do, not what you
say to do.
(23:36):
Cool, all right.
So that's what I got for youtoday.
Next episode, I will bring yousome of my favorite playlist
picks from my favorite books, myfavorite lyrics and some songs.
Here's what I need you toremember as you leave here,
leave listening, you turn thisoff.
I just want you to remindyourself that you have power and
(24:02):
confidence inside of you andall you have to do is unleash it
.
But the first step tounleashing that powerful,
competent version of yourself isby turning up everything that
is important to you and turningdown the volume on everything
(24:22):
else.
So, sister, if you arecommitted to turning up more and
you are part of this turn upsquad, which you are then I am
asking you to go ahead and sharethis with a friend.
Tell them they got to turn uptoo, and build this beautiful,
wonderful, powerful community ofwomen that are committed to
(24:43):
turning up, so that way, we canhelp the girls in our lives turn
up even more.
All right, sister, that's awrap.
I'll see you on the nextepisode.
What's up?
Turn it Up Squad, I am sofreaking excited that you are
here and we're doing thispodcasting thing together.
You may have noticed that thislooks a lot different than it
used to.
This podcast used to be calledthe Pretty Powerful Podcast, and
I am still all about livingthat pretty powerful life, right
Like taking back control of ourpower and understanding that we
(00:23):
weren't put on this earth tojust be pretty.
And so, with that, though, Ikept thinking and I'm going to
share here in a minute but whythis is Turn it Up and kind of
the real turning point the remix, if you will in my life, that
really shifted everything for meand got me here today, where
I'm so passionate about thismessage and the messages that
(00:46):
I'm going to be able to bring toyou here on this podcast, and
so, with that, I want to let youknow that today's playlist,
what you can expect is we'regoing to be talking about
understanding and accepting thefact that we cannot we cannot
silence the outside world.
We cannot control otherpeople's thoughts and opinions
(01:09):
and beliefs about us.
We cannot control what they sayor do towards us, but what we
can do is we can turn up what'smost important to us.
We can turn up our confidence.
We can turn up learning abouthow our bodies work and how the
world works, so that way we canstep more into our power.
So with that, I welcome you tothe Turn it Up podcast.
(01:36):
I consider for a long time,right of, should I even rebrand
Like is this necessary?
Do I want to?
The messages are very similar,like my purpose in life has
remained the same to empowergirls and women to truly be able
to look in the mirror and lovewho they see, and so nothing is
changing about that.
But as I kept thinking, I'mlike I'm not as excited about
(01:58):
talking about the prettypowerful podcast because it
wasn't really clear the messageto me, the types of guests that
I would have.
It's like I had wonderfulguests and all their episodes
are amazing.
You should go back and listento them and the guests are great
and the guests are gonnacontinue to be great.
But for me, I just had a hardtime clarifying what is the
point of this podcast, right?
(02:18):
Is it just a whole bunch ofstuff about talking about power?
Is it a whole bunch of stuffabout talking about power?
Is it a whole bunch of stuffabout what is it.
And so I decided to get realhonest with myself, because I
encourage all of my clients andeveryone that I'm surrounded by
like, hey, you got to makechoices that are right for you,
right Like what brings you joy.
And as I kept thinking aboutthat and as I was thinking about
the podcast, I wasn't really asexcited to tell people like,
(02:40):
hey, listen to the PrettyPowerful podcast.
But now I am so excited becauseI feel like there's a clarity
here.
Right, this is our turn upsquad.
This is for the women who trulywant to turn up all of the
things that are important tothem to figure out.
How can we turn up the voicesof powerhouse women?
How can we turn upunderstanding how our bodies
(03:03):
work and operate so we can leaninto that?
How can we turn up the volumeon psychology and sociology to
really understand, from ascientific standpoint of how we
can live really great, powerful,confident lives as women so we
can reach all of our goals Right?
And so every time I kepttalking about all these things,
it always came back to turningit up, and it also came back to
(03:24):
my own story of how I believe Istepped more into my confidence
when, for most of my life, I hadvery little, and so for me,
right, it was that turning point, it was the remix.
I want you, I want you, I justwant, like, before we jump in, I
want you to think about likeyour favorite song, right, like
(03:45):
the song that comes on and youare just like, oh my God, this
is my jam.
Maybe you can even imagineyourself back in the day at the
club.
The song came on and you'relike yes, and what do you
instantly say?
Or if you're in the car with afriend and you hear your song,
the song that hypes you up, thatgives you the energy you just
(04:08):
want to have a dance party, youwant to pop, lock and drop it,
and what do you say?
You always say turn it up,right, it's your favorite song.
Would we say, hear our favoritesong and say, turn it down?
No, obviously.
But what do we do with thesongs that we don't really
actually enjoy?
Right, that song where you'relike, oh my gosh, if I hear this
(04:28):
song one more time, it's likenails going down a chalkboard,
like what is this?
Who made this?
Who sings this?
Why did they even put this out?
Ow, and yet millions of peoplelove it, but I am sitting here
praying for the day I never haveto hear this song again.
You don't say turn it up, do you?
No, you probably say turn itdown and turn it off and please
(04:50):
don't ever make me hear thatsong again.
But what's going to happen?
What's going to happen isyou're going to hear that song
again because it's going to comeback on the radio.
Your kid might play it.
You're going to hear it on TV.
It's going to be played again,and you're going to keep doing
the same thing over and over andover again.
(05:11):
When you hear your favorite song, you're going to say turn it up
.
When you hear the song thatmakes you want to just cringe
and run away, you're going tosay turn it down.
And that is the same thing.
That goes for our lives, right?
What goes for our mindset is wehave these thoughts, right, we
have thoughts in our heads andwe have people that say things
(05:32):
to us and act certain waystowards us, and we can't control
that, right.
But what we can control is whatwe do for ourselves, what the
voices that we allow into ourheads and what we choose to our
heads and what we choose to turnup and what we choose to turn
down.
I think it's really importantthat we understand that we're
never going to be able to getrid of all of that right.
(05:54):
There's never going to be a daywhere you never have a negative
thought.
There's probably never going tobe a day where you don't hear
someone else have somethingnegative or opinionated to say
that you might not agree with.
There will never be that day,but what there will be is every
single day you have theopportunity to turn down those
(06:15):
voices a little bit and to turnup the ones that are actually
important.
That will change your life,that will help you step into
that confidence, so that way youcan be the powerful woman to
reach all of your goals and thatway we can raise confident
girls to do the same thing.
Because here's the thing yes, Iwant you to turn all of this up
for yourself.
I want you to live that greatlife.
(06:36):
But the main reason if I'm goingto be 100 with you is that all
of this is because I really hopethat we can build the next
generation of girls to neverneed a podcast like this, to
where they already are growingup obsessed and in love with who
they are.
They know their values, theyknow their strengths, they step
into their power.
They love and appreciate theirbodies for what they do.
(06:57):
They don't feel like they haveto change them to fit in and to
be part of a society that tellsus that a woman is supposed to
look a certain way.
I want that next generation togrow up that way and it starts
with us, and it starts with usturning up this volume for
ourselves, so that way we can bea great, positive example for
the next generation of girls.
So if I've convinced you, Ihope that I've convinced you a
(07:21):
little bit that that's the goalright and I don't need you to
strive for the day where you'relike, oh my God, I have no
negative thoughts about my body,I have no negative thoughts
about my career or my worth ormy value.
There's a chance that will everhappen.
But we don't need to beatourselves up over that.
What we get to do, instead ofsaying, okay, if that's never,
(07:42):
if that isn't necessarily goingto go away completely, how can I
make it quieter and how can Imake the other stuff a lot
louder?
And I'm so glad you asked,because that's what we're going
to do on this podcast, becauseevery guest that I'm going to
bring on, every episode that I'mgoing to bring to you, is with
that mission in mind of what canwe turn up?
How can we learn more about ourbodies and how they work?
How do we learn more about ourbrains and how they work so we
(08:04):
can become you know, useeverything that we have to live
better and to live happier andhealthier, right?
And how can we turn up thatself-confidence?
How can we turn up being abetter role model for girls?
How can we turn up the volumeon girls and women that are
doing really powerful things inthe world?
And that's what we're here forAll, right, so let's talk about
a different remix, right?
(08:25):
Like I've shared about therebranding and why, let's talk
about the remix.
In my life, that was that ahamoment.
When this happened, I literallyI feel like my jaw like hit the
floor.
I looked around this room and Isaw women that were had a
similar look on their face.
We were all in our early 20sthat had a similar look on their
face.
We were all in our early 20sand we just literally were like
(08:48):
this cannot be real.
Is this real?
And if this is real, thisexplains my entire life.
This explains why I'vestruggled my whole life.
This explains why I feel theway that I do about my body and
about myself.
This explains so much.
But then what that I do aboutmy body and about myself?
This explains so much.
But then what do I do about it?
(09:08):
And so, for me, that was thisremix moment in my life is when
I went all this completely newpath of this being my purpose
and my mission in my life.
And at that moment right, I'min my early 20s I was in grad
school.
I wasn't like I'm going to oneday host a podcast about how to
do this and how to love yourbody.
(09:29):
I never had that in mind, I hadno idea that this would
actually play out this way, butI remember that being a
monumental moment in my life.
Right, and it has played out inthis way and it's so.
I'm just so grateful.
Okay, so here's what happened.
(09:49):
What had happened was I wassitting in a sociology course
that's what I have all of mydegrees in, and you know.
But before that, before I waseven in college, I struggled my
whole life with my body image.
I can remember you've probablyheard if you've listened to any
of the podcast episodes.
You've heard me tell the storya million times that since sixth
grade, I really didn't wearshorts.
(10:11):
I would go to Disney World withmy family and I would be in
jeans, jeans I don't know whatthose are, but maybe that's a
new thing I'm going to createbut I was wearing jeans in like
105 degree temperature because Iwas so self-conscious of my
legs, because I had a lot ofcellulite.
That's just how my legs were.
And I remember being in sixthgrade and there was this, you
(10:34):
know, spirit week and I had itwas twin day and my best friend
is wonderful and she was like,oh my gosh, we're going to be
twins and it's hot outside, solet's wear this outfit.
And it included shorts.
Now, mind you, she had the legsof my dreams.
Mind you, she had the legs ofmy dreams.
I was like, if I had her legs,my life would be perfect.
I would be like a multibillionaire, like everything in
(10:56):
my life would just be perfect IfI just had her legs.
Have you ever had that thoughtbefore?
Like if I just had that, thenthat would make life so much
easier.
And so that's what my thoughtwas and, of course, I chose to
wear the shorts then, but it wasin that moment where I was like
I should not wear shorts likethis.
She can wear shorts, I shouldnot, because my legs are ugly.
I should change everythingabout my body and no one should
(11:21):
ever have to look at these legs.
And so, from that day forward,I really chose not to wear
shorts until I was probablyabout 24, 25, when I had a shift
in my mindset that changed alot for me.
And this, this defining momentfor me, is what has helped me,
(11:41):
from about that age to now, withevery single thing that I do.
It's it comes from this place,it comes from these few
questions that I want to sharewith you today and why it's so
important to me that we turn itup and also turn it down.
You know, the words and thethoughts in my brain since I was
(12:04):
like in sixth grade were I'mnot good enough, I'm not pretty
enough, my legs are ugly, I'mgross, I should change
everything, I'm not smart enough, I can't speak up Like every.
I had so much self-doubt and Iwas so self-conscious in my body
, so I had this playlist in mybrain that just kept going and
(12:27):
going and going and going towhere it came, to a point to
where I finally used all my highschool graduation money to have
a procedure to get rid of allof the cellulite.
And guess what?
It didn't work.
It was a scam, which there's alot of things that are scams but
the point is that I was willingto do whatever it took.
I took diet pills.
I would choose to only eat oncea day, and I'll share more of
(12:54):
those stories in the future.
But that's the playlist thatwas going on in my head and the
choices that I was making werebecause of that playlist that I
heard on repeat.
And then it then came thismoment where I was sitting in
this course and we watched adocumentary called Killing Us
Softly.
Even at that moment, thedocumentary looked and felt very
old.
So now I can't imagine andprobably feel like it's like
from the 1800s.
(13:15):
Like you know, it just wouldfeel like it's from so long ago.
But it was an older documentary.
But it didn't matter, becausethe documentary was about
society, about women, aboutpeople of different races and
just all of our differences andhow they came out in marketing
(13:37):
and how our bodies are used formarketing purposes.
You know, it showed us howfamous, very famous companies,
right, our marketing, for onething, for example, would be
their marketing t-shirts, uh,but the woman doesn't even have
a shirt on.
Like make it make sense?
Uh, you know, there would be,um, you know the the infamous
(14:01):
burger King, uh, commercial,where it's a very seductive way
of a celebrity eating a burgerto where, you know it's just
again sexualizing her.
It is seeing, you know, womenthat were used like to look like
scissors, and their body isjust like all dysfunctional,
(14:21):
like it, just all of thesethings to show how women are
portrayed in marketing and media, and the size right of all of
these types of products, frombeing toys for young girls to
being, you know, coke andjewelry and all the things for
adults.
And so it was this moment.
(14:42):
For me, though, when it allended, I was upset, but I also
was relieved because, at the endof it, I started thinking to
myself.
I've struggled my whole lifewith loving who I am, and not
just loving who I am, but reallyloving how I look and I thought
(15:04):
that that was the mostimportant thing, right?
That's the message that wereceive is that how we look is
the most important thing.
That's why people spend so muchmoney on losing weight, on lip
injections, on Botox on and I'mnot judging any of those things
you do you this?
You know like you should makechoices that are right for you,
but that's the reason why wespend all this money, right?
So look a certain way that isconsidered beautiful for our
(15:25):
society.
And in this moment, right, likewe end it, and I just it all
rushes over me of, oh my gosh,I've spent the last what?
15 years, however many yearshating my legs, hating my body,
feeling like I need to besmaller.
And then, when I watched thisdocumentary that showed all
these advertisements and showedall this stuff, I was like, oh
(15:46):
my gosh, this is why, this iswhy I have struggled for most of
my life.
This is why I feel like my legsaren't good enough, because I
didn't see anybody's legs thathad cellulite on them, right?
And I also saw advertisementsthat said here's the cream and
the potion and the lotion to getrid of your cellulite, because
it's ugly, you know.
And so I just I was like, okay,I've done all of these things
(16:10):
to try to look this certain wayand the reason is right in front
of me, and I never evenrealized it.
I never realized that thereason why I struggled so much
with my body image and myconfidence was because of all of
the stuff that was justflooding my brain from the time
I was a little girl justflooding my brain from the time
(16:34):
I was a little girl.
And so in that moment Irealized that my playlist in my
head was all dictated by outsideforces and I wasn't even aware
of it.
So everything that I do andeverything that I teach now, and
everything that this podcastwill be about, is going to be
based on shifting ourperspective, of figuring out why
do we have these playlists inour head right now?
(16:57):
Because so many of us havethese thoughts and feelings and
emotions and things in ourbrains that are happening that
we don't even realize and wedon't even know why.
We don't even know where thosethoughts came from and we don't
even take a second to figurethat out because we think
something's just wrong with me.
There are other.
Almost everyone else lovestheir body and they appreciate
(17:18):
themselves and they haveconfidence and they have success
.
It's just me, something's wrongwith me, and that's not the
case.
The case is that we have tofigure out where those thoughts
come from the playlists that arein our head and how can we
shift them in order to createnew playlists, to actually step
into our power and have theplaylists in our head that we
(17:41):
actually want to have.
So I want to share with you aquick power-up, a power-up tip,
for what can you do with this?
Right?
Like I don't like listening topodcasts that just give me a
story and I'm like okay, thatwas motivational, but like, okay
, cool, what do I do now?
Right?
So a power-up tip of the day isI want you to think about.
(18:03):
So think about the word power,and if you've been around for a
while, you know I play on theword power forever, because I
have a whole power methodologythat helps you figure out how to
do anything and achieveanything in your life that you
desire by using this method, andthe first letter is P, and so,
right now, I want you to focuson that.
The P stands for perspective.
(18:26):
When you come to a moment andyou can catch yourself having
some of those thoughts of I'mnot good enough, my body is ugly
, I need to change, like all ofthe thoughts that run through
your head, I want you to take asecond and I want you to ask
yourself why do I think this way?
Why do I think this way?
(18:49):
You can do this with anything.
I did this with my datingrelationships, I did this with
my education, I do this with mybusiness.
I do this with everything.
When I start having that thoughtin my mind, I say okay, why do
I think this?
And then, where do thesethoughts come from?
Do I actually feel this way?
Right, like, are these thoughtscoming from myself or am I
(19:11):
feeling pressure from theoutside world and those thoughts
are actually coming fromsomewhere else?
Because, let's be honest, ifwe're going to talk about my
cellulite, I don't see mycellulite.
It's on the back of my legs.
Why would I care what it lookslike?
That's your problem, not mine,and if you don't like it, don't
look at it.
So I realized that the reasonwhen I really asked myself these
questions when it comes toeverything, but specifically as
(19:34):
my example today about bodies,you know, when I asked myself
that question of is it?
Where does this thought comefrom and why do I think this I
realized that it comes fromsomewhere outside of me.
Because if I was just born bymyself in a room and I never saw
(19:55):
a quote unquote perfect body,and I never saw advertisements
for how to get rid of yourcellulite.
I would have never cared aboutthe cellulite, because I
probably would have never evenseen it, let's be honest.
So the reason why I cared,though, is because everyone else
is telling me that I shouldcare about it, that I should
change it, that it is bad and itis ugly.
(20:17):
So when I take out that P and Ifocus on that perspective and I
ask myself those questions, ithelps me come back to reality
for myself, and then you get toask yourself do these thoughts
align with my values, my purpose, my passion and my priorities?
And if the answer is no, right,like my passion, purpose
(20:41):
priorities is not.
Like, my top priorities are notto have the perfect body, so if
they're not my top priorities,then why am I going to be
stressed about some cellulite onthe back of my legs that I
can't even see?
So I want you to remember thisas you go throughout your days,
when you have those thoughtscome up, I want you to remember
the power method and, using thatP, of understanding your
(21:04):
perspective.
Why do I think this?
Where did these thoughts comefrom, and do they align with my
values, my purpose, my passionand my priorities.
And then, if you're able to, inthat moment again, we're going
to talk throughout this podcastof how can we shift that and
what can we do about it.
But that instant check ofyourself will help you come back
(21:25):
to reality of what's reallyimportant to you, instead of
making choices and feelingfeelings and having thoughts
that are important to everybodyelse.
Okay, real quick, quick momtrack.
If you are a mom of a girl, Itold you before my mission is to
help young girls grow up moreconfident than we ever imagined
possible.
(21:45):
So if you want to raise aconfident daughter making really
good choices, hello, I'm sureyou do.
If I was a mom, I would youknow.
I remember being a young girland a teen and I can only
imagine the stress and theoverwhelm that comes with being
a girl mom and truly wanting herto feel confident in her body
(22:06):
and make choices that are rightfor her.
Her to feel confident in herbody and make choices that are
right for her.
If you are feeling that way,number one, you can help her.
Use that pee also right.
One of the most powerful thingsthat we can do for young girls
is to help them see likemarketing and social media and
different things, and realizewhere some of the thoughts they
have might come from, and so, ifyou can help her you know when
(22:28):
she has those thoughts, helpingher ask those questions of why
do you think that way and wheredid those thoughts come from?
Sometimes they're going to comefrom the mean kid at recess,
and sometimes they're going tocome from hearing an adult say
something about who knows rightLosing weight, so it's important
to give her these tools as well, which is also what we do in
(22:51):
our Pretty Powerful Girl program.
So, at the same time, though,what's important for you to
remember as a mom of a girl, isthat you get to turn up for
yourself first and I knoweveryone tells you that and you
don't want to hear it anymorebut the most based on scientific
research, the best thing thatyou can do, especially for body
image for girls, is to firsttake care of you, to shift your
(23:15):
playlist, to shift what you'rereplaying in your head right,
and quieting those negative,turning up the positive and
turning up the things that areactually going to help you live
the life that you want, becausethen she's going to see you
being that woman and she's goingto do what you do, not what you
say to do.
(23:36):
Cool, all right.
So that's what I got for youtoday.
Next episode, I will bring yousome of my favorite playlist
picks from my favorite books, myfavorite lyrics and some songs.
Here's what I need you toremember as you leave here,
leave listening, you turn thisoff.
I just want you to remindyourself that you have power and
(24:02):
confidence inside of you andall you have to do is unleash it
.
But the first step tounleashing that powerful,
competent version of yourself isby turning up everything that
is important to you and turningdown the volume on everything
(24:22):
else.
So, sister, if you arecommitted to turning up more and
you are part of this turn upsquad, which you are then I am
asking you to go ahead and sharethis with a friend.
Tell them they got to turn uptoo, and build this beautiful,
wonderful, powerful community ofwomen that are committed to
(24:43):
turning up, so that way, we canhelp the girls in our lives turn
up even more.
All right, sister, that's awrap.
I'll see you on the nextepisode.
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