June 7, 2024 • 25 mins
What happens when a body confidence coach admits to struggling with their own body image? In this heartfelt episode, I open up about my personal journey with body confidence, sharing the highs and lows that come with maintaining a positive self-image. We'll unpack why those nagging negative thoughts persist despite our best efforts and explore the vital role that honesty and vulnerability play in our collective path to self-love.
Feelings of discomfort in our bodies are all too familiar for many of us. I'll take you through an eye-opening moment I experienced in a fitness class that underscored the difference between how our bodies feel and how they look. By shifting our perspective from appearance to functionality and well-being, together we can adopt healthier, more sustainable approaches to our self-care routines. Let's talk about the proactive steps we can take to feel more comfortable in our skin, from adding weightlifting to our exercise regimen to simply drinking more water.
Creating safe spaces is crucial when it comes to sharing our vulnerabilities. This episode highlights the importance of being open and honest with those around us, whether it's friends, family, or support groups. I'll share the tools and daily choices I make to appreciate my body, encouraging you to do the same. Plus, stay tuned for an exciting announcement about the Pretty Powerful Podcast's upcoming rebrand, designed to inspire joy, freedom, and confidence in our bodies. Let's collectively reduce the time we spend worrying about our bodies and focus on living our lives to the fullest!
Let's Connect:
https://www.facebook.com/DanielleNicoleLaRose/
https://www.instagram.com/danielle_nicole_larose/
https://www.daniellenicolelarose.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danielle La Rose (00:00):
She said it's powerful to hear you speak your
truth about how you have beenfeeling.
So many times.
I think, oh, everybody else isjust so confident, so satisfied
with their body or their healthlevel.
Thank you for keeping it realand that's a message that I
received from one of my girls inmy Powerhouse Collective
program.
You know who you are Shout out,who you are shout out.
(00:21):
But that's a message that Ireceived when I got really real,
raw, vulnerable, about how Iwas feeling in my own body.
See, this is what they don'tprepare you for when you decide
to go on this journey of liking,loving your body, figuring out.
Why are women and girls, why dowe struggle so much with our
(00:45):
body image?
Why do we struggle so much withappreciating our bodies and not
hating on it and not havingthese negative thoughts?
And I've made it my mission thepast 15, 20 years to really dig
into this.
I'm a nerd.
I read, I read research incollege textbooks for fun about
body image in our society andhow everything functions, and so
(01:06):
for me, my whole, this is mylife, this is what I'm obsessed
with, and I have gone on my ownjourney where I once, you know,
was spending tons of money toget rid of my cellulite and
taking every diet pill I couldthink of and trying every diet
under the moon to just dowhatever I possibly could to
lose weight, to feel better toquote unquote be healthy.
(01:28):
And so, since this is like mybig life mission and I spent so
many years doing it and I dohave tips and tricks and tools
that work for me, every singleday when I get into a zone where
I start feeling uncomfortablein my body, a zone where I start
feeling uncomfortable in mybody, it's really uncomfortable
(01:49):
to share that with other humans.
Because, like so many of us,when we are viewed as a person
who is an expert, who has it alltogether when it comes to this
certain area, it's really hardto hard to just be honest and be
real, that this is somethingthat we all struggle with,
because the reality is is thatso many of us have spent most of
our lives tearing our bodiesapart, so to think that just
after 15, 20 years, you're goingto be able to be like I'm cured
(02:12):
forever, I'm never going tohave a negative thought about my
body ever again, is sounrealistic and so crazy, and I
tell my clients that all thetime, but sometimes it's easier
to give advice to other humansthan it is to take advice of
your own.
Can I get an amen, okay?
So, with that being said, Ifound myself in this place and I
shared my story with my girlsin my Powerhouse Collective
(02:33):
program, and when I receivedthis message from her, I was
like, oh my gosh, we have tostart talking about this more.
We have to start sharing thismore, especially those of us
that are in this field of tryingto help people have freedom
with food and how to makefitness fun and how to just
simplify it and love andappreciate our bodies.
We have to talk about thereality of our own thoughts, our
(02:55):
own struggles when it comes tobeing in our bodies.
So I want to share that withyou my story of this aha moment,
of when this happened to me, ofreally being uncomfortable in
my body, and then four thingsthat I did that you can do if
you ever find yourself in aplace where you feel
uncomfortable.
Now, when I say that, though, Istarted thinking about it.
(03:17):
I'm like what do most people dowhen they start feeling
uncomfortable in their body,especially women?
What do we do when we startfeeling uncomfortable in our
body, and I do that.
I'm doing air quotes becausemost people would say, when they
feel the way that I have felt,they would instantly jump to I
(03:37):
need to lose weight, I need tochange, I need to get smaller
jeans, I need to.
I need to do all these things.
I need to go on a diet.
I need to do this.
I need to do that.
I need to cut back.
I need, like, all the thingsthat the diet industry has sold
us is what our first thing goesto Right, and so I started
thinking about this.
So what do most women do whenthey and I'd love to hear from
(03:58):
you what do you do when youstart feeling uncomfortable in
your body?
Maybe things are rubbing thewrong way, or maybe your knees
start hurting, or maybe yourstomach you start you're like
having stomach issues, or youstart you realize that you're
not as strong as you used to be.
I don't know what it is for you, but when you start having
these thoughts and feelings, I'dlove to hear from you what
those are.
First of all, but second of all, I want you to really think
(04:21):
about what do you do, like whatare the steps If someone were to
say what do I do when I startfeeling uncomfortable in my body
?
What would you tell them thatyou do?
And then we got to get realwith ourselves.
Is that a really great solution?
Is that a good step plan toshare with someone else?
And so for me, after all theseyears of doing research and
(04:42):
working with tons of women andgoing on my own journey and
figuring this out for myself, Irealized what I did.
That might be a little bitdifferent from what most women
would do in this situation whenthey feel uncomfortable in their
body.
And I really want to share thiswith you because I believe that
these little things, when wemake these simple little
switches in our lives, whenthese things start coming up,
(05:02):
when these feelings start comingup, when these thoughts start
coming up, when we make thesesmall changes and adjustments to
how we approach our actions,when we approach food, when we
approach change, when we do alittle shift, in that it makes a
big impact long-term.
It makes a big impact on ourmindset, it makes a big impact
on how other people view us andhow we make an impact on people
(05:26):
in our lives.
What do we do when we feeluncomfortable in our bodies?
So first I want to share that.
We have to recognize it.
Here's what happened.
Okay, what had happened was thenight before I shared this
message with my clients is I wasin a fitness class Now I teach
like group fitness classes, so Iwork out pretty consistently.
(05:48):
And so I was teaching a classand this had been building up
for a long time.
But in that class we were doinglots of down dogs and I wanted
to keep going.
But and if you're listening tothis and you're in my class now,
you understand why I stopped.
I wanted to keep going, but,but I had to stop because I was
in my down dog position and Irealized that I was shaking so
(06:09):
much and I had lost so muchstrength, because it was just
not long ago when I could holdmy down dog for a very long time
and I could do all the things.
But I was in that position andit instantly hit me that I have
lost so much strength in my body, in my arms, in my core, in my
(06:31):
legs, and so I was like, oh mygosh, like this is that moment.
But if I really think about it,it had been a long time before
that of things happening.
Right, I hadn't been lifting asheavy as weights in certain
classes I stopped doing as manydown dogs things happening right
.
I hadn't been lifting as heavyas weights.
In certain classes I stoppeddoing as many down dogs.
I remember and I feel thesethings that had been building up
(06:52):
and happening for several weeks, but I didn't want to admit it.
I didn't want to admit it tomyself that I'm not as strong as
I used to be.
I didn't want to admit it tomyself that my knees have been
hurting very, very badly.
Again, I didn't want to admitthat.
I didn't want to admit and payattention to, like my arms, like
(07:12):
rubbing ways that they've neverrubbed before Right, because
they're a little bit larger, andthat there's nothing wrong with
that.
But I have felt uncomfortable.
It just doesn't feel like me,like I haven't been able to move
my body the way that Itypically, the way that I used
to, and I was ignoring all of itbecause I didn't want to admit
(07:33):
that my body had been changing.
I didn't want to, you know,recognize that.
I just wanted to ignore it,because isn't that easier to
just ignore our problems andjust like run away from them?
That sounds so much easier.
But again.
It was in that moment duringthat class where I was like no,
this is a problem.
I am not as strong as I used tobe, and if I want to live a
(07:55):
long, healthy life, I need tomake sure that I am getting
stronger, not weaker.
And so in that moment, I madethat decision that I wasn't.
I am uncomfortable in my bodyand how my body is functioning,
and I get to make a change.
And so the first step to all ofthis is just recognizing what
(08:17):
is actually happening and notrunning away from the problem,
but instead admitting toourselves yes, I'm uncomfortable
, yes, I'm uncomfortable in mybody.
But then the next step is themost important step, and that is
to separate how your body feelsfrom how it looks.
(08:37):
And see what most of us do inthis situation.
When we start realizing thatdifferent parts of our body are
moving like they're rubbingwrong, our genes don't fit
anymore, yadda, yadda, yadda.
When we start realizing thesethings are happening and our
bodies are growing and theculture that we've grown up in
of just thinking that larger isbad, we instantly go to the
(09:00):
mindset of my body is wrong.
We instantly go to I don't lookgood, I don't fit into this
anymore.
My body is too large, my bodyis wrong, my body is bad.
What I'm bad?
I've made bad choices that havegotten me here, and we go down
this rabbit hole of, instead oflike separating them, which is
(09:22):
what we need to do we put themtogether of how my body feels
and how my body looks, and theyare two different things.
How our body feels and how ourbody looks does not need to go
into the same situation.
So I think it's reallyinteresting, as you'll notice
here.
So I want to just like callthis out.
When I am talking about beinguncomfortable in my body, what I
(09:46):
didn't say was that I've gainedweight, which might be factual.
I haven't stepped on a scale ina very long time because that
doesn't determine my health, butthere's a very good chance that
that number could be higherthan the last time I saw it.
But I didn't say that I need tolose weight.
What I said was that I'muncomfortable in my body because
(10:06):
there's a difference.
There's a difference betweenhow I feel and how I look, and
if we want to create real bodyconfidence, we want to create
real confidence in our bodies.
We want to feel safe, we wantto feel peaceful.
We want to feel joy in ourbodies.
We want to feel safe.
We want to feel peaceful.
We want to feel joy in ourbodies.
We get to separate the two ofhow I feel and how I look.
(10:30):
So I didn't say that I need tolose weight.
I didn't say I need to go geton the scale.
I didn't say that I need to goon a diet, right.
I didn't say any of that.
I didn't talk about losingweight.
I also didn't go weigh myself.
I didn't go buy a new meal plan.
I didn't go buy a new workoutprogram.
(10:50):
I didn't go do any.
I did nothing.
Well, I did something.
I'm going to share that here ina second.
But I didn't do any of thatbecause what I used to do was I
used to go into.
That mindset of my body iswrong.
My body is bad.
I got to change my body.
What I'm now saying because ofall the years of focusing on my
(11:10):
body image, which is separatefrom my health, separate from my
body, when I've focused on allthe body image for all the years
, I have shifted away from howdo I change my body to how do I
make my body feel morecomfortable?
How do.
I make my body feel like ahappy, safe place to be, and so
(11:33):
I want to encourage you if youfind yourself in a spot where
you feel uncomfortable in yourbody, where maybe it's okay
listen, it's okay if you arecurrently saying I want to lose
weight, I want to lose weight, Ineed to lose weight, I need to
change my body, I need to getsmall, like.
If you have those thoughts,there's no judgment here.
Okay, absolutely no judgment.
So if that's you and that'swhere you're at, I want to
encourage you to first, you'rerecognizing that you don't feel
(11:54):
comfortable in your body and,secondly, we're going to say,
okay, I'm not going to make thismean anything about the way
that I look, but I'm going tomake it mean something about how
my body feels.
So do me a favor when you feeluncomfortable in your body,
let's separate the two.
We're not going to go to themirror and say, oh my gosh, I
need to change this.
(12:14):
We're not going to pick up,we're not going to pick our
bodies apart, we're not going tosqueeze things.
We're not going to complainabout things.
We're literally just going tosay I feel uncomfortable in my
body, that's it.
I feel uncomfortable and it'sokay.
It's okay if you feeluncomfortable in your body, just
like the message I got from myclient who said thank you for
sharing this.
(12:34):
I thought everyone just felthealthy and good, right, and I
realized that the reason why shemight have taken that from me
is because I do my best to nottalk negatively about my body.
I do my best to not talk abouthow my body looks, because that
is the least interesting thingabout me and it's the least
interesting thing about you.
So I want again I hope I'vedriven this home the next step,
(12:57):
the most important thing you cando, is separate how you feel
about your body from how yourbody actually looks.
So, instead of saying that weneed to change our body when we
feel uncomfortable, what we needto do is we need to say how can
I be more comfortable in mybody?
What is going to make me feelmore comfortable?
What's going to make me feelmore confident?
What's going to make my bodyfeel like it's functioning and
moving the way that feels goodto me?
(13:22):
And so the number three is weask ourselves the question what
can I do about it?
This is the most importantquestion I think anyone can ask
when it comes to absolutelyanything, whether it's your
finances, it's yourrelationships, it's your health,
it doesn't matter.
The most important thing thatwe can ask ourselves is what are
you going to do about it?
Because we can sit and complainabout not being comfortable in
our bodies which for severalweeks I just sat in that so we
(13:43):
can sit and complain and thinkand stress and overwhelm about
how our body feels.
Or we can say what am I goingto do about it?
Because the past is the past.
I can't change what I didyesterday.
I can't change what I did lastweek.
I can't change any of that andthat's irrelevant.
What I can do is today I cansay what am I going to do about
(14:04):
it?
And then, what am I going to doabout it tomorrow?
And what am I going to do aboutit the next day and the next
day and the next day?
I can control the controllable.
And so what I shared in thismessage with my clients was I
said you know, here's thereality.
The reality is, as I was inclass, I felt I've lost my
(14:25):
strength, my knees are hurting,my body is moving funny, that
doesn't feel right to me.
I feel uncomfortable.
Here's what I'm going to do.
I told him.
I said you know what thismorning?
What I did, because what am Igoing to do about it?
I control the control.
I said if I've lost strengthand I'm getting frustrated at my
body because I don't feel asstrong, what should I do?
Rocket science, I should liftsome weights.
(14:47):
Right, if I want to getstronger, I have to take action
to get stronger.
So instead of stressing aboutyesterday that I wasn't strong
and that my body hurts and mybody's weak, instead I said
today, what I can do is I cantake the action to get stronger.
So that morning I went and Ilifted weights.
I did a.
Was it 25 minutes?
Yes, I did a 25 minute workoutwhere I was literally just
(15:11):
lifting weights and it felt sogood.
Was it hard?
Yes, and I couldn't walk fortwo days.
But that's irrelevant.
What mattered was that I mademyself proud and I became more
confident in my body because ofthe fact that I decided that I
was going to take action to bemore comfortable in my body.
So, regardless of how my bodylooked, my body is going to look
(15:32):
the same for the next severalweeks, even if it decides to
change.
It's going to look the same fora long time.
So it's not about how my bodylooks, but it's about the
strength that I'm gaining right.
It's about the confidence thatI'm building.
It's about being morecomfortable in my body and being
proud of myself for making thechoices to change my body and
being proud of myself for makingthe choices to change, to
(15:52):
change habits that I haven'tbeen having, which is why I lost
my strength.
So I did that and so I sharewith them.
So the next important thing thatyou can do is say what am I
going to do about it?
What am I going to do about it?
How can we become morecomfortable in our body today,
right now?
Is it drinking more water?
Is it doing a strength workout?
Is it?
What is it?
We get to take action and saywhat am I going to do about it?
(16:16):
And forget, be like Elsa, letit go.
You know, you know the song.
I don't sing, but you know thesong.
Let it go.
It's the past and we move on.
And then finally, number fourjust like I did, I would
encourage you if you're in thisposition where you're like I am
uncomfortable in my body oranything in life, let's be
honest.
This applies to anything.
(16:37):
But if you're uncomfortable inyour body and we're making these
changes, we're recognizing,we're becoming aware of it,
we're separating how our bodylooks from how our body feels.
We're saying what am I going todo about it?
And the last thing is sayinglet's share it, let's be
vulnerable when we get to aplace that we feel comfortable
doing that.
Now, like I said, I spentseveral weeks not even wanting
(17:00):
to admit it to myself.
So the first step might be goingto the mirror, looking at
yourself in the mirror and justbeing like do I feel good in my
body?
Am I confident in my body?
Am I comfortable in my body?
Do I feel peace around food andfitness?
Is that like my reality?
Or am I a little uncomfy?
And it's okay if you're alittle uncomfy.
So the first place to getvulnerable is with yourself,
(17:25):
because you might want to runand hide, like I did for a
couple weeks, and that's okaytoo.
There's no right or wrong here.
Okay, my friend, for a coupleweeks, and that's okay too.
There's no right or wrong here.
Okay, my friend.
But at some point, if you'refeeling like you're starting to
get frustrated with your body,you start having those negative
thoughts about your body.
You start going down thatrabbit hole of finding diets and
trying to be perfect and doingall the things to try to change
your body.
Then it's a good time to gotake a look in the mirror and
(17:46):
ask yourself am I comfortable inmy body or am I not comfortable
in my body?
And if I'm not comfortableagain, what am I going to do
about it?
So number four is sharing andbeing vulnerable.
But the first person that youneed to share with and be
vulnerable with is yourself.
Okay.
After that, then, when you arein a space to where you have
(18:09):
people that feel safe andcomfortable to share with maybe
it's a friend, family, it's agroup, whatever.
I feel safe in my, in myprograms, with my clients,
because we're all on the samejourney of learning to make
healthy habits.
At the same time, we'relearning to love and appreciate
our bodies.
So that's my safe space.
Those are my people who are onthe same journey.
(18:31):
We're all in it together.
So that's my space where I cango and share this vulnerable
truth with them of here's howI've been feeling and here's
what I'm going to do about itEven me as the coach, as the
mentor, and so they hopefullyknow and feel that that's their
safe space as well, to share andto open up.
So find that space for you,whether it's a group, it's
(18:53):
friends, it's family but getvulnerable with people, other
humans when the time is rightfor you, because when you're
vulnerable just like I foundwhen my client responded to me
and said thank you so much Ithought everyone else always
felt healthy and felt confidentin their bodies.
Thank you for being real,because now it gives her the
opportunity to be morevulnerable and also the
(19:17):
opportunity to know that she'snot alone, especially with
someone like me, right, whopeople see as like the self-love
guru love your body all thetime, kind of thing Like that's
not the reality.
Reality is that I work on thisand I make choices every single
day to love and appreciate mybody, just like everyone else Do
(19:38):
.
I have the tools and thesystems and the framework to do
that, that.
I'm confident every single day,even when I wake up and I'm
like I'm struggling with beingcomfortable.
Yes, I have those and that'swhat I work with my clients on.
So those are the four thingsthat I would encourage you to do
if you start feeling uncomfy inyour body, because it's normal.
Our bodies are going to change.
We're going every day we get alittle bit older which is
(20:00):
awesome, and I'm never going toblame anything on me getting
older and so I'm going to saywhat can I do about it?
So, again, we're going torecognize it, we're going to
admit it to ourselves, we'regoing to separate how our body
looks from how it feels.
We're going to ask what can Ido about it?
And then we're going to bevulnerable and share with
ourselves or with other humans.
So that is my message for theday.
(20:22):
I hope that this serves you.
If nothing else, I hope that ifyou start hearing another woman
go down this rabbit hole of notwhere she's saying things and
you're like she just doesn'tfeel comfortable in her body,
then share this with them.
Tell them what you would do, orshare these things that you've
heard from this crazy woman onthe internet who talks all about
(20:45):
how to love and appreciate yourbody and be confident in your
body.
Right, like that's the goal.
That's why I say that I'm abody confidence coach, because I
want you to be confident inyour body and confident in the
choices that you choose to makealong your journey of making
fitness, fun, simplifying foodand all of the things.
So, with that being said, Ihope that today and every day,
(21:08):
you will find freedom in thefood that you're eating, you'll
find peace in your body and youwill find the confidence to be
your authentic self and thinkabout your body less so you can
live more.
That's the goal, my friend.
So if this supports you, or ifyou're like homegirl, I have
more questions.
I need more help.
I don't have this safe spacecommunity.
(21:29):
I need someone to talk tobecause't have this safe space
community.
I need someone to talk tobecause I'm feeling all these
feelings.
Hello, my name is Danielle andI'm obsessed with this, and I'm
here to support you and give youall the things that I possibly
can to support you on yourjourney.
So reach out, let's chat, andwith that, I also want to share
here, exclusively to my podcastlisteners, that we are going to
(21:52):
take a short break of the PrettyPowerful Podcast to regroup
because, as you heard in thisepisode, I too have been
thinking more about bodies,about being comfortable or
uncomfortable in our bodies andsome of the experiences that
I've had as an adult of learninghow my body actually works and
functions, whether it's withfood, or my menstrual cycle or
(22:15):
my brain or all of the thingsthat just make up our bodies
that we don't learn in aneducation system.
We just don't.
And it's really important ifwe're going to actually be
confident in our bodies, we needto know more about how they
operate, how they function, howthey work and learning how to
use them in the right way tocreate more joy, to create more
(22:40):
freedom, to create more peaceand to just be confident in who
we are.
And so, with that being said, Iam so excited to share that the
podcast is getting a rebrandand we are really going to zone
in on that whole idea ofunderstanding our bodies.
So I am lining up some excitingguests to talk about all the
(23:04):
things, and some really excitingepisodes are coming your way to
help you and the people and thehumans around you get real
confident in their bodies.
Because if we know anythingfrom this podcast, my friend, I
hope that you know that theaverage woman spends about 12
hours a week thinking about herbody and I am sick and tired of
(23:25):
that being a reality and alsothat 70 to 85% of women choose
to not do life activitiesbecause they are so
self-conscious of their bodies.
We are going to freaking changethat.
Can I get an amen?
Can we get a high five, like weare coming together to change
that please?
(23:46):
So that's what this podcastthis podcast has mainly been
about that, anyways.
But just now, moving forward,I'm really excited for the
little rebrand that you will see.
You'll get a little name change, some exciting, fun guests, and
so I hope that you'll stickaround and it will just take a
quick break for a few weeks andbe right back with all of the
(24:06):
fun, exciting, good stuff.
It's going to be freakingincredible.
So, dear everybody, pleasestick around.
I will see you in the future.
Remember that you are prettypowerful.
I am still here cheering you on.
You just won't see a podcast,but I'm still all over the
social medias.
Come hang out with me on TikTokand Facebook and wherever you
(24:28):
want to find me.
I will be there doing some fundances with my motivational
messages.
Medias come hang out with me onTikTok and Facebook and
wherever you want to find me.
I will be there doing some fundances with my motivational
messages, talking, doing thethings like let's freaking go.
I'm so excited for what's tocome in the future.
All right, sister, until nexttime.
Goodbye, my friend.
She said it's powerful to hear you speak your
truth about how you have beenfeeling.
So many times.
I think, oh, everybody else isjust so confident, so satisfied
with their body or their healthlevel.
Thank you for keeping it realand that's a message that I
received from one of my girls inmy Powerhouse Collective
program.
You know who you are Shout out,who you are shout out.
(00:21):
But that's a message that Ireceived when I got really real,
raw, vulnerable, about how Iwas feeling in my own body.
See, this is what they don'tprepare you for when you decide
to go on this journey of liking,loving your body, figuring out.
Why are women and girls, why dowe struggle so much with our
(00:45):
body image?
Why do we struggle so much withappreciating our bodies and not
hating on it and not havingthese negative thoughts?
And I've made it my mission thepast 15, 20 years to really dig
into this.
I'm a nerd.
I read, I read research incollege textbooks for fun about
body image in our society andhow everything functions, and so
(01:06):
for me, my whole, this is mylife, this is what I'm obsessed
with, and I have gone on my ownjourney where I once, you know,
was spending tons of money toget rid of my cellulite and
taking every diet pill I couldthink of and trying every diet
under the moon to just dowhatever I possibly could to
lose weight, to feel better toquote unquote be healthy.
(01:28):
And so, since this is like mybig life mission and I spent so
many years doing it and I dohave tips and tricks and tools
that work for me, every singleday when I get into a zone where
I start feeling uncomfortablein my body, a zone where I start
feeling uncomfortable in mybody, it's really uncomfortable
(01:49):
to share that with other humans.
Because, like so many of us,when we are viewed as a person
who is an expert, who has it alltogether when it comes to this
certain area, it's really hardto hard to just be honest and be
real, that this is somethingthat we all struggle with,
because the reality is is thatso many of us have spent most of
our lives tearing our bodiesapart, so to think that just
after 15, 20 years, you're goingto be able to be like I'm cured
(02:12):
forever, I'm never going tohave a negative thought about my
body ever again, is sounrealistic and so crazy, and I
tell my clients that all thetime, but sometimes it's easier
to give advice to other humansthan it is to take advice of
your own.
Can I get an amen, okay?
So, with that being said, Ifound myself in this place and I
shared my story with my girlsin my Powerhouse Collective
(02:33):
program, and when I receivedthis message from her, I was
like, oh my gosh, we have tostart talking about this more.
We have to start sharing thismore, especially those of us
that are in this field of tryingto help people have freedom
with food and how to makefitness fun and how to just
simplify it and love andappreciate our bodies.
We have to talk about thereality of our own thoughts, our
(02:55):
own struggles when it comes tobeing in our bodies.
So I want to share that withyou my story of this aha moment,
of when this happened to me, ofreally being uncomfortable in
my body, and then four thingsthat I did that you can do if
you ever find yourself in aplace where you feel
uncomfortable.
Now, when I say that, though, Istarted thinking about it.
(03:17):
I'm like what do most people dowhen they start feeling
uncomfortable in their body,especially women?
What do we do when we startfeeling uncomfortable in our
body, and I do that.
I'm doing air quotes becausemost people would say, when they
feel the way that I have felt,they would instantly jump to I
(03:37):
need to lose weight, I need tochange, I need to get smaller
jeans, I need to.
I need to do all these things.
I need to go on a diet.
I need to do this.
I need to do that.
I need to cut back.
I need, like, all the thingsthat the diet industry has sold
us is what our first thing goesto Right, and so I started
thinking about this.
So what do most women do whenthey and I'd love to hear from
(03:58):
you what do you do when youstart feeling uncomfortable in
your body?
Maybe things are rubbing thewrong way, or maybe your knees
start hurting, or maybe yourstomach you start you're like
having stomach issues, or youstart you realize that you're
not as strong as you used to be.
I don't know what it is for you, but when you start having
these thoughts and feelings, I'dlove to hear from you what
those are.
First of all, but second of all, I want you to really think
(04:21):
about what do you do, like whatare the steps If someone were to
say what do I do when I startfeeling uncomfortable in my body
?
What would you tell them thatyou do?
And then we got to get realwith ourselves.
Is that a really great solution?
Is that a good step plan toshare with someone else?
And so for me, after all theseyears of doing research and
(04:42):
working with tons of women andgoing on my own journey and
figuring this out for myself, Irealized what I did.
That might be a little bitdifferent from what most women
would do in this situation whenthey feel uncomfortable in their
body.
And I really want to share thiswith you because I believe that
these little things, when wemake these simple little
switches in our lives, whenthese things start coming up,
(05:02):
when these feelings start comingup, when these thoughts start
coming up, when we make thesesmall changes and adjustments to
how we approach our actions,when we approach food, when we
approach change, when we do alittle shift, in that it makes a
big impact long-term.
It makes a big impact on ourmindset, it makes a big impact
on how other people view us andhow we make an impact on people
(05:26):
in our lives.
What do we do when we feeluncomfortable in our bodies?
So first I want to share that.
We have to recognize it.
Here's what happened.
Okay, what had happened was thenight before I shared this
message with my clients is I wasin a fitness class Now I teach
like group fitness classes, so Iwork out pretty consistently.
(05:48):
And so I was teaching a classand this had been building up
for a long time.
But in that class we were doinglots of down dogs and I wanted
to keep going.
But and if you're listening tothis and you're in my class now,
you understand why I stopped.
I wanted to keep going, but,but I had to stop because I was
in my down dog position and Irealized that I was shaking so
(06:09):
much and I had lost so muchstrength, because it was just
not long ago when I could holdmy down dog for a very long time
and I could do all the things.
But I was in that position andit instantly hit me that I have
lost so much strength in my body, in my arms, in my core, in my
(06:31):
legs, and so I was like, oh mygosh, like this is that moment.
But if I really think about it,it had been a long time before
that of things happening.
Right, I hadn't been lifting asheavy as weights in certain
classes I stopped doing as manydown dogs things happening right
.
I hadn't been lifting as heavyas weights.
In certain classes I stoppeddoing as many down dogs.
I remember and I feel thesethings that had been building up
(06:52):
and happening for several weeks, but I didn't want to admit it.
I didn't want to admit it tomyself that I'm not as strong as
I used to be.
I didn't want to admit it tomyself that my knees have been
hurting very, very badly.
Again, I didn't want to admitthat.
I didn't want to admit and payattention to, like my arms, like
(07:12):
rubbing ways that they've neverrubbed before Right, because
they're a little bit larger, andthat there's nothing wrong with
that.
But I have felt uncomfortable.
It just doesn't feel like me,like I haven't been able to move
my body the way that Itypically, the way that I used
to, and I was ignoring all of itbecause I didn't want to admit
(07:33):
that my body had been changing.
I didn't want to, you know,recognize that.
I just wanted to ignore it,because isn't that easier to
just ignore our problems andjust like run away from them?
That sounds so much easier.
But again.
It was in that moment duringthat class where I was like no,
this is a problem.
I am not as strong as I used tobe, and if I want to live a
(07:55):
long, healthy life, I need tomake sure that I am getting
stronger, not weaker.
And so in that moment, I madethat decision that I wasn't.
I am uncomfortable in my bodyand how my body is functioning,
and I get to make a change.
And so the first step to all ofthis is just recognizing what
(08:17):
is actually happening and notrunning away from the problem,
but instead admitting toourselves yes, I'm uncomfortable
, yes, I'm uncomfortable in mybody.
But then the next step is themost important step, and that is
to separate how your body feelsfrom how it looks.
(08:37):
And see what most of us do inthis situation.
When we start realizing thatdifferent parts of our body are
moving like they're rubbingwrong, our genes don't fit
anymore, yadda, yadda, yadda.
When we start realizing thesethings are happening and our
bodies are growing and theculture that we've grown up in
of just thinking that larger isbad, we instantly go to the
(09:00):
mindset of my body is wrong.
We instantly go to I don't lookgood, I don't fit into this
anymore.
My body is too large, my bodyis wrong, my body is bad.
What I'm bad?
I've made bad choices that havegotten me here, and we go down
this rabbit hole of, instead oflike separating them, which is
(09:22):
what we need to do we put themtogether of how my body feels
and how my body looks, and theyare two different things.
How our body feels and how ourbody looks does not need to go
into the same situation.
So I think it's reallyinteresting, as you'll notice
here.
So I want to just like callthis out.
When I am talking about beinguncomfortable in my body, what I
(09:46):
didn't say was that I've gainedweight, which might be factual.
I haven't stepped on a scale ina very long time because that
doesn't determine my health, butthere's a very good chance that
that number could be higherthan the last time I saw it.
But I didn't say that I need tolose weight.
What I said was that I'muncomfortable in my body because
(10:06):
there's a difference.
There's a difference betweenhow I feel and how I look, and
if we want to create real bodyconfidence, we want to create
real confidence in our bodies.
We want to feel safe, we wantto feel peaceful.
We want to feel joy in ourbodies.
We want to feel safe.
We want to feel peaceful.
We want to feel joy in ourbodies.
We get to separate the two ofhow I feel and how I look.
(10:30):
So I didn't say that I need tolose weight.
I didn't say I need to go geton the scale.
I didn't say that I need to goon a diet, right.
I didn't say any of that.
I didn't talk about losingweight.
I also didn't go weigh myself.
I didn't go buy a new meal plan.
I didn't go buy a new workoutprogram.
(10:50):
I didn't go do any.
I did nothing.
Well, I did something.
I'm going to share that here ina second.
But I didn't do any of thatbecause what I used to do was I
used to go into.
That mindset of my body iswrong.
My body is bad.
I got to change my body.
What I'm now saying because ofall the years of focusing on my
(11:10):
body image, which is separatefrom my health, separate from my
body, when I've focused on allthe body image for all the years
, I have shifted away from howdo I change my body to how do I
make my body feel morecomfortable?
How do.
I make my body feel like ahappy, safe place to be, and so
(11:33):
I want to encourage you if youfind yourself in a spot where
you feel uncomfortable in yourbody, where maybe it's okay
listen, it's okay if you arecurrently saying I want to lose
weight, I want to lose weight, Ineed to lose weight, I need to
change my body, I need to getsmall, like.
If you have those thoughts,there's no judgment here.
Okay, absolutely no judgment.
So if that's you and that'swhere you're at, I want to
encourage you to first, you'rerecognizing that you don't feel
(11:54):
comfortable in your body and,secondly, we're going to say,
okay, I'm not going to make thismean anything about the way
that I look, but I'm going tomake it mean something about how
my body feels.
So do me a favor when you feeluncomfortable in your body,
let's separate the two.
We're not going to go to themirror and say, oh my gosh, I
need to change this.
(12:14):
We're not going to pick up,we're not going to pick our
bodies apart, we're not going tosqueeze things.
We're not going to complainabout things.
We're literally just going tosay I feel uncomfortable in my
body, that's it.
I feel uncomfortable and it'sokay.
It's okay if you feeluncomfortable in your body, just
like the message I got from myclient who said thank you for
sharing this.
(12:34):
I thought everyone just felthealthy and good, right, and I
realized that the reason why shemight have taken that from me
is because I do my best to nottalk negatively about my body.
I do my best to not talk abouthow my body looks, because that
is the least interesting thingabout me and it's the least
interesting thing about you.
So I want again I hope I'vedriven this home the next step,
(12:57):
the most important thing you cando, is separate how you feel
about your body from how yourbody actually looks.
So, instead of saying that weneed to change our body when we
feel uncomfortable, what we needto do is we need to say how can
I be more comfortable in mybody?
What is going to make me feelmore comfortable?
What's going to make me feelmore confident?
What's going to make my bodyfeel like it's functioning and
moving the way that feels goodto me?
(13:22):
And so the number three is weask ourselves the question what
can I do about it?
This is the most importantquestion I think anyone can ask
when it comes to absolutelyanything, whether it's your
finances, it's yourrelationships, it's your health,
it doesn't matter.
The most important thing thatwe can ask ourselves is what are
you going to do about it?
Because we can sit and complainabout not being comfortable in
our bodies which for severalweeks I just sat in that so we
(13:43):
can sit and complain and thinkand stress and overwhelm about
how our body feels.
Or we can say what am I goingto do about it?
Because the past is the past.
I can't change what I didyesterday.
I can't change what I did lastweek.
I can't change any of that andthat's irrelevant.
What I can do is today I cansay what am I going to do about
(14:04):
it?
And then, what am I going to doabout it tomorrow?
And what am I going to do aboutit the next day and the next
day and the next day?
I can control the controllable.
And so what I shared in thismessage with my clients was I
said you know, here's thereality.
The reality is, as I was inclass, I felt I've lost my
(14:25):
strength, my knees are hurting,my body is moving funny, that
doesn't feel right to me.
I feel uncomfortable.
Here's what I'm going to do.
I told him.
I said you know what thismorning?
What I did, because what am Igoing to do about it?
I control the control.
I said if I've lost strengthand I'm getting frustrated at my
body because I don't feel asstrong, what should I do?
Rocket science, I should liftsome weights.
(14:47):
Right, if I want to getstronger, I have to take action
to get stronger.
So instead of stressing aboutyesterday that I wasn't strong
and that my body hurts and mybody's weak, instead I said
today, what I can do is I cantake the action to get stronger.
So that morning I went and Ilifted weights.
I did a.
Was it 25 minutes?
Yes, I did a 25 minute workoutwhere I was literally just
(15:11):
lifting weights and it felt sogood.
Was it hard?
Yes, and I couldn't walk fortwo days.
But that's irrelevant.
What mattered was that I mademyself proud and I became more
confident in my body because ofthe fact that I decided that I
was going to take action to bemore comfortable in my body.
So, regardless of how my bodylooked, my body is going to look
(15:32):
the same for the next severalweeks, even if it decides to
change.
It's going to look the same fora long time.
So it's not about how my bodylooks, but it's about the
strength that I'm gaining right.
It's about the confidence thatI'm building.
It's about being morecomfortable in my body and being
proud of myself for making thechoices to change my body and
being proud of myself for makingthe choices to change, to
(15:52):
change habits that I haven'tbeen having, which is why I lost
my strength.
So I did that and so I sharewith them.
So the next important thing thatyou can do is say what am I
going to do about it?
What am I going to do about it?
How can we become morecomfortable in our body today,
right now?
Is it drinking more water?
Is it doing a strength workout?
Is it?
What is it?
We get to take action and saywhat am I going to do about it?
(16:16):
And forget, be like Elsa, letit go.
You know, you know the song.
I don't sing, but you know thesong.
Let it go.
It's the past and we move on.
And then finally, number fourjust like I did, I would
encourage you if you're in thisposition where you're like I am
uncomfortable in my body oranything in life, let's be
honest.
This applies to anything.
(16:37):
But if you're uncomfortable inyour body and we're making these
changes, we're recognizing,we're becoming aware of it,
we're separating how our bodylooks from how our body feels.
We're saying what am I going todo about it?
And the last thing is sayinglet's share it, let's be
vulnerable when we get to aplace that we feel comfortable
doing that.
Now, like I said, I spentseveral weeks not even wanting
(17:00):
to admit it to myself.
So the first step might be goingto the mirror, looking at
yourself in the mirror and justbeing like do I feel good in my
body?
Am I confident in my body?
Am I comfortable in my body?
Do I feel peace around food andfitness?
Is that like my reality?
Or am I a little uncomfy?
And it's okay if you're alittle uncomfy.
So the first place to getvulnerable is with yourself,
(17:25):
because you might want to runand hide, like I did for a
couple weeks, and that's okaytoo.
There's no right or wrong here.
Okay, my friend, for a coupleweeks, and that's okay too.
There's no right or wrong here.
Okay, my friend.
But at some point, if you'refeeling like you're starting to
get frustrated with your body,you start having those negative
thoughts about your body.
You start going down thatrabbit hole of finding diets and
trying to be perfect and doingall the things to try to change
your body.
Then it's a good time to gotake a look in the mirror and
(17:46):
ask yourself am I comfortable inmy body or am I not comfortable
in my body?
And if I'm not comfortableagain, what am I going to do
about it?
So number four is sharing andbeing vulnerable.
But the first person that youneed to share with and be
vulnerable with is yourself.
Okay.
After that, then, when you arein a space to where you have
(18:09):
people that feel safe andcomfortable to share with maybe
it's a friend, family, it's agroup, whatever.
I feel safe in my, in myprograms, with my clients,
because we're all on the samejourney of learning to make
healthy habits.
At the same time, we'relearning to love and appreciate
our bodies.
So that's my safe space.
Those are my people who are onthe same journey.
(18:31):
We're all in it together.
So that's my space where I cango and share this vulnerable
truth with them of here's howI've been feeling and here's
what I'm going to do about itEven me as the coach, as the
mentor, and so they hopefullyknow and feel that that's their
safe space as well, to share andto open up.
So find that space for you,whether it's a group, it's
(18:53):
friends, it's family but getvulnerable with people, other
humans when the time is rightfor you, because when you're
vulnerable just like I foundwhen my client responded to me
and said thank you so much Ithought everyone else always
felt healthy and felt confidentin their bodies.
Thank you for being real,because now it gives her the
opportunity to be morevulnerable and also the
(19:17):
opportunity to know that she'snot alone, especially with
someone like me, right, whopeople see as like the self-love
guru love your body all thetime, kind of thing Like that's
not the reality.
Reality is that I work on thisand I make choices every single
day to love and appreciate mybody, just like everyone else Do
(19:38):
.
I have the tools and thesystems and the framework to do
that, that.
I'm confident every single day,even when I wake up and I'm
like I'm struggling with beingcomfortable.
Yes, I have those and that'swhat I work with my clients on.
So those are the four thingsthat I would encourage you to do
if you start feeling uncomfy inyour body, because it's normal.
Our bodies are going to change.
We're going every day we get alittle bit older which is
(20:00):
awesome, and I'm never going toblame anything on me getting
older and so I'm going to saywhat can I do about it?
So, again, we're going torecognize it, we're going to
admit it to ourselves, we'regoing to separate how our body
looks from how it feels.
We're going to ask what can Ido about it?
And then we're going to bevulnerable and share with
ourselves or with other humans.
So that is my message for theday.
(20:22):
I hope that this serves you.
If nothing else, I hope that ifyou start hearing another woman
go down this rabbit hole of notwhere she's saying things and
you're like she just doesn'tfeel comfortable in her body,
then share this with them.
Tell them what you would do, orshare these things that you've
heard from this crazy woman onthe internet who talks all about
(20:45):
how to love and appreciate yourbody and be confident in your
body.
Right, like that's the goal.
That's why I say that I'm abody confidence coach, because I
want you to be confident inyour body and confident in the
choices that you choose to makealong your journey of making
fitness, fun, simplifying foodand all of the things.
So, with that being said, Ihope that today and every day,
(21:08):
you will find freedom in thefood that you're eating, you'll
find peace in your body and youwill find the confidence to be
your authentic self and thinkabout your body less so you can
live more.
That's the goal, my friend.
So if this supports you, or ifyou're like homegirl, I have
more questions.
I need more help.
I don't have this safe spacecommunity.
(21:29):
I need someone to talk tobecause't have this safe space
community.
I need someone to talk tobecause I'm feeling all these
feelings.
Hello, my name is Danielle andI'm obsessed with this, and I'm
here to support you and give youall the things that I possibly
can to support you on yourjourney.
So reach out, let's chat, andwith that, I also want to share
here, exclusively to my podcastlisteners, that we are going to
(21:52):
take a short break of the PrettyPowerful Podcast to regroup
because, as you heard in thisepisode, I too have been
thinking more about bodies,about being comfortable or
uncomfortable in our bodies andsome of the experiences that
I've had as an adult of learninghow my body actually works and
functions, whether it's withfood, or my menstrual cycle or
(22:15):
my brain or all of the thingsthat just make up our bodies
that we don't learn in aneducation system.
We just don't.
And it's really important ifwe're going to actually be
confident in our bodies, we needto know more about how they
operate, how they function, howthey work and learning how to
use them in the right way tocreate more joy, to create more
(22:40):
freedom, to create more peaceand to just be confident in who
we are.
And so, with that being said, Iam so excited to share that the
podcast is getting a rebrandand we are really going to zone
in on that whole idea ofunderstanding our bodies.
So I am lining up some excitingguests to talk about all the
(23:04):
things, and some really excitingepisodes are coming your way to
help you and the people and thehumans around you get real
confident in their bodies.
Because if we know anythingfrom this podcast, my friend, I
hope that you know that theaverage woman spends about 12
hours a week thinking about herbody and I am sick and tired of
(23:25):
that being a reality and alsothat 70 to 85% of women choose
to not do life activitiesbecause they are so
self-conscious of their bodies.
We are going to freaking changethat.
Can I get an amen?
Can we get a high five, like weare coming together to change
that please?
(23:46):
So that's what this podcastthis podcast has mainly been
about that, anyways.
But just now, moving forward,I'm really excited for the
little rebrand that you will see.
You'll get a little name change, some exciting, fun guests, and
so I hope that you'll stickaround and it will just take a
quick break for a few weeks andbe right back with all of the
(24:06):
fun, exciting, good stuff.
It's going to be freakingincredible.
So, dear everybody, pleasestick around.
I will see you in the future.
Remember that you are prettypowerful.
I am still here cheering you on.
You just won't see a podcast,but I'm still all over the
social medias.
Come hang out with me on TikTokand Facebook and wherever you
(24:28):
want to find me.
I will be there doing some fundances with my motivational
messages.
Medias come hang out with me onTikTok and Facebook and
wherever you want to find me.
I will be there doing some fundances with my motivational
messages, talking, doing thethings like let's freaking go.
I'm so excited for what's tocome in the future.
All right, sister, until nexttime.
Goodbye, my friend.
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