March 26, 2024 • 20 mins
Have you ever caught your reflection and struggled to find something positive? You're not alone; 69% of us don't like looking in the mirror. It's time to talk about this uneasy relationship with our own reflection and how this impacts our self-esteem and body image. It's time to change the conversations we have around beauty and worth, starting with the youngest among us. Let's open the conversation and discuss the importance of new self-love practices and create a movement that recognizes our worth beyond the mirror.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danielle La Rose (00:00):
All right, sister, what is your thought on
this number?
Does this sound crazy, like notrealistic, or are you thinking
this is right on point?
Here's what I'm talking about.
I recently read that only about31% of people have a positive
relationship with the mirrorOnly 31%.
(00:21):
Now, does that seem low?
Does that seem high?
Does that seem like right onpoint?
And do you have a positiverelationship with the mirror?
And by that that just simplymeans when you look at yourself
in the mirror, is this apositive experience or is this a
negative experience?
Are you like hey, girl, hey, orare you like why am I even
(00:42):
standing here looking at this?
I even had a client one timewho told me she avoided every
single mirror.
If she walked, she would covermirrors, she would walk by a
mirror and purposely avoidlooking at herself.
So obviously we had a lot ofwork to do there and we did the
work.
But now, about a year later,I'm reading this stat and I'm
(01:06):
just you know, I just want tohave this conversation of is
that, does that seem right onpoint?
31% of people have a positiverelationship with the mirror.
And if that is the case andthis number is so low, then what
are we going to do about it?
How can we then?
(01:28):
What are we going to do aboutit?
How can we?
There are mirrors all around us, right?
And is this a positive like?
Shouldn't we have a positiveexperience looking at ourselves
in the mirror, like it's us?
You are going to see yourselffor the rest of your life, and
so how can we create a positiveexperience looking at ourselves
in the mirror so that way weenjoy that?
We enjoy looking at ourselves.
(01:49):
If there's anyone we enjoylooking at, shouldn't it be
ourselves?
Shouldn't it be that experienceof looking into our own eyes
and having a positive experience?
Because if we can't have apositive experience looking at
ourselves in the mirror, thencan we actually have a healthy
relationship with ourselves?
(02:10):
If we struggle so much lookingat ourselves?
How can we truly figure out howto love and appreciate
ourselves If that interaction isso negative?
And also, what is the messagethat we're sending kids?
(02:31):
They obviously are going to seewhether we are hey, girl, hey
in the mirror, or whether we'rerunning and hiding and like I
don't want to see myself.
It makes me think of you know,all the times you go to take a
family picture and all of youraunts or all of your sisters or
whoever, and they're like oh,don't show me, let me get in the
back, I don't want to be in thepicture.
And you're like sister, get inthe freaking picture.
(02:53):
You're beautiful, you'reamazing, You're a huge part of
this family.
I want this memory.
This has nothing to do with theway that you look.
Be quiet, take the picture.
And the same goes for themirror.
Look at yourself in the mirror,be proud of who you see, be
proud of who you are, love andappreciate exactly that person.
(03:17):
Looking back at you, and I saythat, while at the same time
saying it's okay if you're notthere yet, right.
And I say that, while at thesame time saying it's okay if
you're not there yet.
It's okay if you're not at apoint to stand in front of a
mirror and be like I love you somuch, this is so great.
It's okay if you're not at thatpoint.
But the question, as you knowthat I'm always going to ask you
(03:38):
, is what are you going to doabout it If you are not part of
that 31% who has a positiverelationship with the mirror?
What are you going to do aboutit If you are not part of that,
31%, who has a positiverelationship with the mirror.
What are you going to do aboutit?
Because that is a powerfulexperience with yourself.
Could you imagine being in arelationship with someone and
being like I never want to seeyou.
I like you, I'm going to bearound you all the time let's
(04:01):
say it's a spouse or a bestfriend or someone and you're
like I loved hearing you and Ilove everything else, but I
don't ever want to look at youin the eyes.
That would be weird.
But that's what we're tellingourselves, is we're saying, yes,
I'm trying to make you happier.
(04:22):
Yes, I'm trying to live a greatlife, yes, I'm trying to be
successful, but at the same time, do not look at me in the
mirror, I don't want to seemyself.
That's a huge disconnect, right?
How are we ever going to builda healthy, happy relationships
with ourselves and with ourbodies and live a great,
powerful life full of confidenceif we can't step in front of
(04:44):
the mirror, look at ourselvesand say, hey, girl, hey, yes,
girl.
So what are we going to doabout it?
One thing I started the prettypowerful girl program, which is
a program developed to mentoryoung girls at the same time as
getting moms involved, becausewe know that the impact that
(05:06):
moms and or female figures closefemale figures in that girl's
life is more powerful than anyother voice when it comes to her
body image based on research.
And so we've created thisprogram, and so one of the
events that we always host it'sour annual event called the Self
Love Soiree, and it is the mostmagical event.
It's my favorite.
(05:26):
It is just so powerful to seemoms and girls.
We provide mentorship andactivities and we provide
mentorship and activities anddifferent things that we do that
is designed to increasecommunication, to allow them
opportunities to really dig intothe topics that will help them
with their communication,especially around confidence and
(05:48):
self-love and empowerment andreally building that positive,
powerful relationship withmother-daughter.
That, as we know, based on justteenagers and psychology is
that it's natural that as girlsget older, that that
relationship starts to strugglea bit, and maybe you've
experienced that yourself withyour mother, or maybe you're
(06:12):
experiencing it now with yourmother, or maybe you're
experiencing it now with yourdaughter.
So the point of this is that wehave this really powerful event
that is so cool to watch and tosee unfold and to hear the
feedback from girls and moms,both about how powerful it was
for them.
And one of the activities thatwe do is we it's a whole like
bingo, essentially.
You're doing a whole bunch ofdifferent fun activities and one
(06:33):
of the things that they do isthey are expected to stand in
front of the mirror a whole likebingo, essentially.
You're doing a whole bunch ofdifferent fun activities and one
of the things that is that theydo is they are expected to
stand in front of the mirror forat least 10 seconds, smiling at
themselves, looking atthemselves directly in the eyes,
and that's really awkward.
If you've never tried thatbefore, go do it right now.
Like just stop, just pause this, go.
If you're not driving, like gosafely and go, just look in the
(06:53):
mirror and stare at yourself andsmile for 10 seconds.
It feels really funny becausewe don't do that.
So, of course, the girls aregiggling and laughing and you're
not.
You know.
They're like this is so awkwardand we're like no, look back in
the mirror, right.
Because again, we want to buildthat whole idea that look at
yourself in the mirror and smileat yourself because you can and
(07:13):
should be proud of yourself,right.
So we hope to make that a habitfor these girls, and also moms,
of really digging in and beingokay and being comfortable and
being excited to look atyourself in the mirror and smile
at yourself, even if at thebeginning it's weird, even if at
the beginning it feels a littleuncomfortable.
(07:35):
We know that the end result, ifwe can create this habit, is
very powerful for our confidenceand our own self-love.
So perhaps you even want to trythat.
Maybe starting there and alsoone of the most powerful things
that you can do, and especiallypassing along to your daughter
(07:56):
kiddos is really, really gettingclear about what is the purpose
of the mirror.
Now, if you've been around fora bit, you know I talk all the
time about marketing and ourculture and about the $550
billion industry that profitsoff of our insecurities, and so
(08:18):
we have to come to realize that,for the most part, we have been
conditioned to believe that themirror is a place where we go
to critique our bodies.
Or actually, instead of tellingyou that, I should have asked
you what has your experiencebeen with the mirror?
Have you seen, maybe imagineyourself back as being a kiddo?
(08:41):
Did you see people in your lifelook in the mirror and go ugh,
gross.
Or maybe you saw people withpositive experiences with the
mirror.
What have you been told, whathave you heard in your life to
tell you what that sort ofrelationship with the mirror
should be?
And so I can say for me and fora majority of people, obviously
(09:03):
based on the statistic that wehave is that majority of us get
the message that your goal is tostand in front of a mirror and
to figure out everything that'swrong with you, to decide what
needs to be fixed, whether it'sright in that moment of should I
wear this, should I not wearthis To quickly make some
decisions there, or rather, it's, long term, right To look at
(09:25):
ourselves in the mirror and tosay, ooh, that is too big,
that's too small, that's toolumpy, that's too wrinkly,
that's too whatever.
And what do I need to changeabout myself?
The mirror typically isn't apositive environment because we
go into that space with themindset of I'm going to critique
everything that I see, I'mgoing to find flaws with what I
(09:48):
see and I'm going to decide whatneeds to change.
And that's how we typicallyapproach the mirror.
So what if we shift the way?
This is getting exciting, right.
What if we shift and you're,like you know, really exciting.
Yes, I'm a nerd.
Okay, this.
This excites me because, if wecan shift the way that we
approach the mirror, imagineyou're like okay, today is the
(10:11):
day I'm going to hang out withmy mirror.
It's weird, I know.
Okay, but I'm going to hang outwith my mirror.
It's weird, I know, Okay, butI'm going to go look at myself
in the mirror and instead oftrying to find my flaws, instead
of trying to figure out what'swrong with me, instead of trying
to figure out what needs tochange, what if I come up to the
mirror and I make the decisionto look myself in the eyes?
And instead of trying to seewhat I look like, what if I
(10:32):
decided to look and see who I am?
What if the real mission andpurpose of a mirror is to be
able to see into our soul, intoour spirit, and really see who
we are, rather than to see whatwe look like?
There's a huge difference there, right?
(10:57):
Imagine you're dating someonenew and you sit down with them
and you look them in the eyes,right?
Or think about your kids, right?
Everyone says you can telleverything so much of what you
need to know by looking insomeone's eyes.
You can tell if they're lying,you can tell if they're being
truthful, you can tell ifthey're passionate, you can tell
(11:17):
if they're actually emotional.
You can tell so much bysomebody's eyes.
So what if we approach themirror and, instead of trying to
figure out, looking down andlooking at all of the different
spots on our bodies, what if wewent up to a mirror and we
simply just looked in our eyesand asked it to tell us who are
(11:40):
we, what are our strengths,what's our purpose, what are our
values, what are ourcharacteristics, what are some
things that just make us reallycool and unique?
And instead of looking forflaws and things that are wrong
with our bodies, we look for theperson that we currently are
(12:00):
and we choose to see the personwe are deciding to become,
because the mirror can tell usso much about who we are by
looking at ourselves in the eyes.
And so if you struggle, likemost of us do, with seeing
ourselves in the mirror becauseyou're so conditioned to go
(12:23):
straight to what's wrong with me, how do I fix it?
If that's you, I want tochallenge you this week.
I want you to start going up tothe mirror, looking at yourself
in the eyes and asking yourselfwhat are my strengths?
What are some hard things that I, that woman that I see in this
(12:45):
mirror?
What are some hard things shehas overcome that she is so
proud of?
What good is she doing in theworld?
Who does?
Who is she now and who does shedesire to become?
What's her passion?
What's her purpose?
What are her priorities?
And get to know her.
(13:06):
So, from this day forward, howabout we approach the mirror as
our friend?
Because who we see is who weare, and the most important
thing that we are are all of thethings that make us who we are
(13:30):
that have nothing to do with theway that we look.
And so if we take this furtherand we pass this along to our
kiddos, what are they going tosee now?
They're going to see a womanwho looks in the mirror and who
just smiles, who can goconfidently up to a mirror and
be like, hey, yay, ready for theday, instead of seeing the
woman who stands there and picksherself apart and cries and
(13:53):
whines and complains about howshe looks, which gives the
message that that's the mostimportant thing about her, when
we know that you are so muchmore than how you look and that
mirror is going to tell you thatif you pause and you look her
in the eyes and you search forwho she is, not what she looks
like, and our kiddos, the nextgenerations, will get that
(14:19):
message loud and clear that whenwe walk up to a mirror, we do
not pick ourselves apart.
Rather, we smile at ourselvesin the mirror, we look at
ourselves in the eyes and wegive a little yes, girl, high
five and we go about ourbusiness.
We don't need to spend hours infront of a mirror.
I preach all the time.
I'm going to give you your timeand your money back by helping
(14:40):
you think about your body lessso you can live more.
So I don't need you standing infront of the mirror for hours.
All I need you to do is getcomfortable standing in front of
the mirror, seeing yourself forwho you are and then going
about your business.
I've struggled myself for areally long time with the mirror
because I did exactly that.
I picked apart the rolls, thewrinkles, the cellulite,
(15:04):
everything that was wrong withme, deciding what needed to be
fixed.
I would spend so much timeputting on an outfit and looking
and saying, oh, does this lookgood enough.
Should I wear this, even thoughinside I'm like man?
I love this outfit.
It's so comfy or it looks socute.
I love it, even though you knowyou can see this, this and this
.
And so I made it my missionthat, as I was going on my
(15:26):
journey, at the same time I waslearning how to love and
appreciate my body.
I was learning how to walk awayfrom the mirror.
I wanted to be comfortable inthe mirror.
I wanted to see myself in themirror and be able to smile and
walk away within a secondwithout needing to stand there
and struggle over what I see,and so I encourage you to do the
(15:50):
same thing.
You don't need to spend hours infront of the mirror.
Instead, you get to walk into amirror, smile, be good, look
yourself in the eyes, focus onwho you are, not what you look
yourself in the eyes, focus onwho you are, not what you look
like, and then walk away fromthe mirror and go live your life
.
Your best life is not in themirror.
It's not stressing about whatyou look like.
(16:12):
It's not trying to figure outwhat needs to change.
Your best life is out in theworld.
What needs to change, your bestlife is out in the world, and
when you can get comfortable andyou can get confident looking
at yourself in the mirror,focusing on who you are, you're
going to be able to live more,more confident, more brave, more
bold, because you didn't spendso much time and energy
(16:34):
stressing and overwhelminglooking in the mirror.
Stressing and overwhelminglooking in the mirror.
How does that feel to you?
Are you ready?
Are you ready to increase thisnumber together?
Right, only 31% of people havea positive relationship with the
mirror.
Can we get that up to 35?
Can we get it up to 40?
(16:54):
Can we get it up to 50?
Could you imagine a world wheremajority of people are
confident looking at themselvesin the mirror and they go out
and live their best lives?
Can you imagine the positivity?
Could you imagine the joy?
Can you imagine the positivechange that we would make in
this world if we spent less timestressing about what we see in
(17:16):
the mirror?
Stressing about what we see inthe mirror because we're so
focused on picking ourselvesapart and finding our flaws and
deciding that we are perfectlyimperfect?
Man less of that Said who.
Who decided what imperfectionis?
Who decided what perfection isperfection is?
(17:43):
Who decided what perfection is.
We get to decide that you arenot perfectly imperfect.
You are perfect exactly as youare.
And with that, my friend, let'sgo stand in front mirror, smile
and search for who we areinstead of how we look.
(18:05):
All right, I hope that thisserved you.
Share this with a friend thatneeds it.
And again, the best, mostpowerful thing you can do is
focus on yourself.
Focus on your own confidence,your own self-love, your own
relationship with the mirror,because when when you do that,
it will be a ripple effect forthe next generation.
Whether you're a mom or not,the kids, people in the world
(18:25):
see you.
They do what you do.
They don't do what you say todo.
So be the example that you wishthat you had.
So let's increase this positiverelationship with the mirror
and share this and spread themessage and help the other
people women specifically aroundus you in.
(18:47):
I feel like we should do like alittle huddle Hands in Three,
two, one go team.
All right.
All right, sister, that's all Igot for you today.
Again, I hope this served you.
Please share, send me some DMs,let me know your thoughts on
this and how I can support youmoving forward.
Remember that you are prettypowerful.
Now prove it to yourself.
Let's go Bye friend.
All right, sister, what is your thought on
this number?
Does this sound crazy, like notrealistic, or are you thinking
this is right on point?
Here's what I'm talking about.
I recently read that only about31% of people have a positive
relationship with the mirrorOnly 31%.
(00:21):
Now, does that seem low?
Does that seem high?
Does that seem like right onpoint?
And do you have a positiverelationship with the mirror?
And by that that just simplymeans when you look at yourself
in the mirror, is this apositive experience or is this a
negative experience?
Are you like hey, girl, hey, orare you like why am I even
(00:42):
standing here looking at this?
I even had a client one timewho told me she avoided every
single mirror.
If she walked, she would covermirrors, she would walk by a
mirror and purposely avoidlooking at herself.
So obviously we had a lot ofwork to do there and we did the
work.
But now, about a year later,I'm reading this stat and I'm
(01:06):
just you know, I just want tohave this conversation of is
that, does that seem right onpoint?
31% of people have a positiverelationship with the mirror.
And if that is the case andthis number is so low, then what
are we going to do about it?
How can we then?
(01:28):
What are we going to do aboutit?
How can we?
There are mirrors all around us, right?
And is this a positive like?
Shouldn't we have a positiveexperience looking at ourselves
in the mirror, like it's us?
You are going to see yourselffor the rest of your life, and
so how can we create a positiveexperience looking at ourselves
in the mirror so that way weenjoy that?
We enjoy looking at ourselves.
(01:49):
If there's anyone we enjoylooking at, shouldn't it be
ourselves?
Shouldn't it be that experienceof looking into our own eyes
and having a positive experience?
Because if we can't have apositive experience looking at
ourselves in the mirror, thencan we actually have a healthy
relationship with ourselves?
(02:10):
If we struggle so much lookingat ourselves?
How can we truly figure out howto love and appreciate
ourselves If that interaction isso negative?
And also, what is the messagethat we're sending kids?
(02:31):
They obviously are going to seewhether we are hey, girl, hey
in the mirror, or whether we'rerunning and hiding and like I
don't want to see myself.
It makes me think of you know,all the times you go to take a
family picture and all of youraunts or all of your sisters or
whoever, and they're like oh,don't show me, let me get in the
back, I don't want to be in thepicture.
And you're like sister, get inthe freaking picture.
(02:53):
You're beautiful, you'reamazing, You're a huge part of
this family.
I want this memory.
This has nothing to do with theway that you look.
Be quiet, take the picture.
And the same goes for themirror.
Look at yourself in the mirror,be proud of who you see, be
proud of who you are, love andappreciate exactly that person.
(03:17):
Looking back at you, and I saythat, while at the same time
saying it's okay if you're notthere yet, right.
And I say that, while at thesame time saying it's okay if
you're not there yet.
It's okay if you're not at apoint to stand in front of a
mirror and be like I love you somuch, this is so great.
It's okay if you're not at thatpoint.
But the question, as you knowthat I'm always going to ask you
(03:38):
, is what are you going to doabout it If you are not part of
that 31% who has a positiverelationship with the mirror?
What are you going to do aboutit If you are not part of that,
31%, who has a positiverelationship with the mirror.
What are you going to do aboutit?
Because that is a powerfulexperience with yourself.
Could you imagine being in arelationship with someone and
being like I never want to seeyou.
I like you, I'm going to bearound you all the time let's
(04:01):
say it's a spouse or a bestfriend or someone and you're
like I loved hearing you and Ilove everything else, but I
don't ever want to look at youin the eyes.
That would be weird.
But that's what we're tellingourselves, is we're saying, yes,
I'm trying to make you happier.
(04:22):
Yes, I'm trying to live a greatlife, yes, I'm trying to be
successful, but at the same time, do not look at me in the
mirror, I don't want to seemyself.
That's a huge disconnect, right?
How are we ever going to builda healthy, happy relationships
with ourselves and with ourbodies and live a great,
powerful life full of confidenceif we can't step in front of
(04:44):
the mirror, look at ourselvesand say, hey, girl, hey, yes,
girl.
So what are we going to doabout it?
One thing I started the prettypowerful girl program, which is
a program developed to mentoryoung girls at the same time as
getting moms involved, becausewe know that the impact that
(05:06):
moms and or female figures closefemale figures in that girl's
life is more powerful than anyother voice when it comes to her
body image based on research.
And so we've created thisprogram, and so one of the
events that we always host it'sour annual event called the Self
Love Soiree, and it is the mostmagical event.
It's my favorite.
(05:26):
It is just so powerful to seemoms and girls.
We provide mentorship andactivities and we provide
mentorship and activities anddifferent things that we do that
is designed to increasecommunication, to allow them
opportunities to really dig intothe topics that will help them
with their communication,especially around confidence and
(05:48):
self-love and empowerment andreally building that positive,
powerful relationship withmother-daughter.
That, as we know, based on justteenagers and psychology is
that it's natural that as girlsget older, that that
relationship starts to strugglea bit, and maybe you've
experienced that yourself withyour mother, or maybe you're
(06:12):
experiencing it now with yourmother, or maybe you're
experiencing it now with yourdaughter.
So the point of this is that wehave this really powerful event
that is so cool to watch and tosee unfold and to hear the
feedback from girls and moms,both about how powerful it was
for them.
And one of the activities thatwe do is we it's a whole like
bingo, essentially.
You're doing a whole bunch ofdifferent fun activities and one
(06:33):
of the things that they do isthey are expected to stand in
front of the mirror a whole likebingo, essentially.
You're doing a whole bunch ofdifferent fun activities and one
of the things that is that theydo is they are expected to
stand in front of the mirror forat least 10 seconds, smiling at
themselves, looking atthemselves directly in the eyes,
and that's really awkward.
If you've never tried thatbefore, go do it right now.
Like just stop, just pause this, go.
If you're not driving, like gosafely and go, just look in the
(06:53):
mirror and stare at yourself andsmile for 10 seconds.
It feels really funny becausewe don't do that.
So, of course, the girls aregiggling and laughing and you're
not.
You know.
They're like this is so awkwardand we're like no, look back in
the mirror, right.
Because again, we want to buildthat whole idea that look at
yourself in the mirror and smileat yourself because you can and
(07:13):
should be proud of yourself,right.
So we hope to make that a habitfor these girls, and also moms,
of really digging in and beingokay and being comfortable and
being excited to look atyourself in the mirror and smile
at yourself, even if at thebeginning it's weird, even if at
the beginning it feels a littleuncomfortable.
(07:35):
We know that the end result, ifwe can create this habit, is
very powerful for our confidenceand our own self-love.
So perhaps you even want to trythat.
Maybe starting there and alsoone of the most powerful things
that you can do, and especiallypassing along to your daughter
(07:56):
kiddos is really, really gettingclear about what is the purpose
of the mirror.
Now, if you've been around fora bit, you know I talk all the
time about marketing and ourculture and about the $550
billion industry that profitsoff of our insecurities, and so
(08:18):
we have to come to realize that,for the most part, we have been
conditioned to believe that themirror is a place where we go
to critique our bodies.
Or actually, instead of tellingyou that, I should have asked
you what has your experiencebeen with the mirror?
Have you seen, maybe imagineyourself back as being a kiddo?
(08:41):
Did you see people in your lifelook in the mirror and go ugh,
gross.
Or maybe you saw people withpositive experiences with the
mirror.
What have you been told, whathave you heard in your life to
tell you what that sort ofrelationship with the mirror
should be?
And so I can say for me and fora majority of people, obviously
(09:03):
based on the statistic that wehave is that majority of us get
the message that your goal is tostand in front of a mirror and
to figure out everything that'swrong with you, to decide what
needs to be fixed, whether it'sright in that moment of should I
wear this, should I not wearthis To quickly make some
decisions there, or rather, it's, long term, right To look at
(09:25):
ourselves in the mirror and tosay, ooh, that is too big,
that's too small, that's toolumpy, that's too wrinkly,
that's too whatever.
And what do I need to changeabout myself?
The mirror typically isn't apositive environment because we
go into that space with themindset of I'm going to critique
everything that I see, I'mgoing to find flaws with what I
(09:48):
see and I'm going to decide whatneeds to change.
And that's how we typicallyapproach the mirror.
So what if we shift the way?
This is getting exciting, right.
What if we shift and you're,like you know, really exciting.
Yes, I'm a nerd.
Okay, this.
This excites me because, if wecan shift the way that we
approach the mirror, imagineyou're like okay, today is the
(10:11):
day I'm going to hang out withmy mirror.
It's weird, I know.
Okay, but I'm going to hang outwith my mirror.
It's weird, I know, Okay, butI'm going to go look at myself
in the mirror and instead oftrying to find my flaws, instead
of trying to figure out what'swrong with me, instead of trying
to figure out what needs tochange, what if I come up to the
mirror and I make the decisionto look myself in the eyes?
And instead of trying to seewhat I look like, what if I
(10:32):
decided to look and see who I am?
What if the real mission andpurpose of a mirror is to be
able to see into our soul, intoour spirit, and really see who
we are, rather than to see whatwe look like?
There's a huge difference there, right?
(10:57):
Imagine you're dating someonenew and you sit down with them
and you look them in the eyes,right?
Or think about your kids, right?
Everyone says you can telleverything so much of what you
need to know by looking insomeone's eyes.
You can tell if they're lying,you can tell if they're being
truthful, you can tell ifthey're passionate, you can tell
(11:17):
if they're actually emotional.
You can tell so much bysomebody's eyes.
So what if we approach themirror and, instead of trying to
figure out, looking down andlooking at all of the different
spots on our bodies, what if wewent up to a mirror and we
simply just looked in our eyesand asked it to tell us who are
(11:40):
we, what are our strengths,what's our purpose, what are our
values, what are ourcharacteristics, what are some
things that just make us reallycool and unique?
And instead of looking forflaws and things that are wrong
with our bodies, we look for theperson that we currently are
(12:00):
and we choose to see the personwe are deciding to become,
because the mirror can tell usso much about who we are by
looking at ourselves in the eyes.
And so if you struggle, likemost of us do, with seeing
ourselves in the mirror becauseyou're so conditioned to go
(12:23):
straight to what's wrong with me, how do I fix it?
If that's you, I want tochallenge you this week.
I want you to start going up tothe mirror, looking at yourself
in the eyes and asking yourselfwhat are my strengths?
What are some hard things that I, that woman that I see in this
(12:45):
mirror?
What are some hard things shehas overcome that she is so
proud of?
What good is she doing in theworld?
Who does?
Who is she now and who does shedesire to become?
What's her passion?
What's her purpose?
What are her priorities?
And get to know her.
(13:06):
So, from this day forward, howabout we approach the mirror as
our friend?
Because who we see is who weare, and the most important
thing that we are are all of thethings that make us who we are
(13:30):
that have nothing to do with theway that we look.
And so if we take this furtherand we pass this along to our
kiddos, what are they going tosee now?
They're going to see a womanwho looks in the mirror and who
just smiles, who can goconfidently up to a mirror and
be like, hey, yay, ready for theday, instead of seeing the
woman who stands there and picksherself apart and cries and
(13:53):
whines and complains about howshe looks, which gives the
message that that's the mostimportant thing about her, when
we know that you are so muchmore than how you look and that
mirror is going to tell you thatif you pause and you look her
in the eyes and you search forwho she is, not what she looks
like, and our kiddos, the nextgenerations, will get that
(14:19):
message loud and clear that whenwe walk up to a mirror, we do
not pick ourselves apart.
Rather, we smile at ourselvesin the mirror, we look at
ourselves in the eyes and wegive a little yes, girl, high
five and we go about ourbusiness.
We don't need to spend hours infront of a mirror.
I preach all the time.
I'm going to give you your timeand your money back by helping
(14:40):
you think about your body lessso you can live more.
So I don't need you standing infront of the mirror for hours.
All I need you to do is getcomfortable standing in front of
the mirror, seeing yourself forwho you are and then going
about your business.
I've struggled myself for areally long time with the mirror
because I did exactly that.
I picked apart the rolls, thewrinkles, the cellulite,
(15:04):
everything that was wrong withme, deciding what needed to be
fixed.
I would spend so much timeputting on an outfit and looking
and saying, oh, does this lookgood enough.
Should I wear this, even thoughinside I'm like man?
I love this outfit.
It's so comfy or it looks socute.
I love it, even though you knowyou can see this, this and this
.
And so I made it my missionthat, as I was going on my
(15:26):
journey, at the same time I waslearning how to love and
appreciate my body.
I was learning how to walk awayfrom the mirror.
I wanted to be comfortable inthe mirror.
I wanted to see myself in themirror and be able to smile and
walk away within a secondwithout needing to stand there
and struggle over what I see,and so I encourage you to do the
(15:50):
same thing.
You don't need to spend hours infront of the mirror.
Instead, you get to walk into amirror, smile, be good, look
yourself in the eyes, focus onwho you are, not what you look
yourself in the eyes, focus onwho you are, not what you look
like, and then walk away fromthe mirror and go live your life
.
Your best life is not in themirror.
It's not stressing about whatyou look like.
(16:12):
It's not trying to figure outwhat needs to change.
Your best life is out in theworld.
What needs to change, your bestlife is out in the world, and
when you can get comfortable andyou can get confident looking
at yourself in the mirror,focusing on who you are, you're
going to be able to live more,more confident, more brave, more
bold, because you didn't spendso much time and energy
(16:34):
stressing and overwhelminglooking in the mirror.
Stressing and overwhelminglooking in the mirror.
How does that feel to you?
Are you ready?
Are you ready to increase thisnumber together?
Right, only 31% of people havea positive relationship with the
mirror.
Can we get that up to 35?
Can we get it up to 40?
(16:54):
Can we get it up to 50?
Could you imagine a world wheremajority of people are
confident looking at themselvesin the mirror and they go out
and live their best lives?
Can you imagine the positivity?
Could you imagine the joy?
Can you imagine the positivechange that we would make in
this world if we spent less timestressing about what we see in
(17:16):
the mirror?
Stressing about what we see inthe mirror because we're so
focused on picking ourselvesapart and finding our flaws and
deciding that we are perfectlyimperfect?
Man less of that Said who.
Who decided what imperfectionis?
Who decided what perfection isperfection is?
(17:43):
Who decided what perfection is.
We get to decide that you arenot perfectly imperfect.
You are perfect exactly as youare.
And with that, my friend, let'sgo stand in front mirror, smile
and search for who we areinstead of how we look.
(18:05):
All right, I hope that thisserved you.
Share this with a friend thatneeds it.
And again, the best, mostpowerful thing you can do is
focus on yourself.
Focus on your own confidence,your own self-love, your own
relationship with the mirror,because when when you do that,
it will be a ripple effect forthe next generation.
Whether you're a mom or not,the kids, people in the world
(18:25):
see you.
They do what you do.
They don't do what you say todo.
So be the example that you wishthat you had.
So let's increase this positiverelationship with the mirror
and share this and spread themessage and help the other
people women specifically aroundus you in.
(18:47):
I feel like we should do like alittle huddle Hands in Three,
two, one go team.
All right.
All right, sister, that's all Igot for you today.
Again, I hope this served you.
Please share, send me some DMs,let me know your thoughts on
this and how I can support youmoving forward.
Remember that you are prettypowerful.
Now prove it to yourself.
Let's go Bye friend.
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