December 3, 2024 • 23 mins
Have you ever wondered how to break free from the "fake it till you make it" mindset and step into true confidence? Let's chat about how to actually unlock a more powerful, confident you.
Danielle shares personal insights, practical steps, and daily rituals to foster genuine self-assurance. From aligning affirmations with sincere actions to crafting confidence-boosting habits, these are some tools for transforming doubt into unwavering belief. Confidence isn't just a destination but an ongoing journey fueled by trust in oneself. Let's build that trust and stop faking it!
Podcast Episode referenced: Quick Confidence Hack: 5 Steps in 5 Minutes
Let's Connect:
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https://www.instagram.com/danielle_nicole_larose/
https://www.daniellenicolelarose.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danielle La Rose (00:00):
What is up, welcome back to Turn it Up.
Today's playlist is all abouthow can we turn down literally
the worst piece of advice thatis ever given to a human that we
literally probably hear almostevery single day, and how do we
flip that.
So I have four songs playlistfor you of things that you can
(00:22):
actually do to shift this quote,this piece of advice that we
always give, how we can shiftthat in a way that we can
actually build more confidencein ourselves.
So I'm so excited to hang outwith you today.
I got to share I'm sitting downin my office and I have one of
my favorite shirts on that Ihave made and I just want to
(00:44):
share it with you because Ithink it's an important reminder
and something that we couldconstantly put on repeat in our
brains.
So it's a quote that says asstrong as the girl next to me
and to me, what that means.
I'd love to hear from you, likewhen I said that as strong as
the girl next to me, like whatcomes to your mind.
(01:04):
How said that?
As strong as the girl next tome, like what comes to your mind
, how does that?
What does that mean to you?
How does that make you feel Forme, when I read that and I hear
it and I wear it and I feel it,it just means to me that, no
matter what I do for myself,it's important because it's
(01:24):
going to inspire and supportother people and becoming the
best version of them, but it'sreally irrelevant if I am not
also supporting and helping thegirls and the women next to me,
because I can only be so strongon my own right.
We need the women and girls inour lives to be stronger.
(01:47):
Right, there's no competitionhere.
We literally all win when oneof us wins, and so we get to
help each other and hold eachother's hands and you know, I
imagine cheerleaders right, likehaving you put your foot in my
hands and let me push you up ashigh as I possibly can, and so I
think this is a.
I know that this is an importantmessage to remind ourselves of
(02:12):
and also to remind our girls ofthe girls that are in our lives,
that probably are strugglingwith some girl friendships we
all do, from the time we're fiveyears old till the time we're.
However old we are today, it'sa reality, but we get to decide
how we can do things differently, and so I wanted to start with
(02:33):
that.
Okay, let's jump in to theliteral worst piece of advice.
I believe that we are allgiving and we are all receiving,
and that is fake it till youmake it.
And you may have just said thatlike an hour ago, and it's okay
, it's okay.
But I want to challenge ustoday to shift this thinking, to
consider an alternative and toactually have concrete steps of
(02:57):
what we can do so we don't haveto fake it, because when we say
fake it till you make it, we aresending a message to our brains
that says you don't have it,you ain't it, you ain't got it,
you don't have the skills, youdon't have the talents, you
don't have the strength toactually achieve the things that
you want to achieve, unless youfake it.
(03:20):
Who likes fake?
We don't want fake people.
We don't want fake food.
We don't want fake food.
We don't want fake.
We don't want anything to befake.
We want things to be real.
Why do we think that TikTok tookoff like crazy when it first
started?
Because people on TikTok werethe most realist humans.
There was no filters, there wasno caring what you were wearing
(03:42):
or if you fell down, or it wasliterally the place where people
went that they felt safe.
They felt like they could bethemselves, like they could
create content and nobody wouldjudge them, but like they could
go viral if they were out there,right, if they were awkward and
silly and just being themselves.
(04:03):
And so we realize that in ourworld, like we actually really
want realness, we wantauthenticity, and yet we tell
people and we tell ourselveswell, you just got to fake it
till you make it.
And a lot of times that comesalong with business and success
and finance, like all thosethings.
But it also comes from a placeof confidence, right?
(04:29):
You know, if you start gettingnervous to go out on stage and
speak on stage or to go for aninterview or whatever it is for
you, like when you're going todo those things, people always
say like, well, just fake ittill you make it.
You'll do it.
Just fake it Right, act likethe people are all in their
underwear, right.
And we know that people meanwell when they say that, but we
(04:52):
are faking an experience becausewe don't have the confidence to
actually be it Right.
And so I want to challenge usthat instead of faking it,
because again, that sends thatmessage to ourselves that we
don't have what we need, andsubconsciously, we're just
reiterating to ourselves that wewill never become that because
we will have to fake it.
And so we don't have to fake ittill we make it.
(05:14):
What if we decided that we weregoing to do it until we became
it?
So if we want, for example,more confidence maybe it's body
confidence, maybe it's justbusiness confidence, maybe it's
whatever type of confidence inyourself for you to fully step
into your power to beauthentically yourself Whenever
(05:34):
we want that why don't we dothings that actually help us
become it until we actually areit right?
So do it until you become it.
So here are four quick thingsthat I like to do for myself.
So I don't tell myself to fakeit till you make it, because I
am every single day, working onmy confidence right, every
(05:56):
single day.
I believe that we wake up andchoose confidence, because the
world will constantly be right,pushing us down, telling us that
we can't, we're not good enough, yada, yada, yada.
And so it's a consciousdecision every single day to say
I am going to show up as themost confident version of me,
and it's a daily practice, ithas to become a habit.
And so when I'm sharing thesethings with you, I want you to
(06:19):
hear not me preaching at you andtelling you what to do because
I've mastered it, but sharingwith you what I do and what I'm
currently doing on my lifelongjourney of building confidence
within myself.
And that is all different typesof confidence.
And again, y'all know that I'mobsessed and my expertise and
(06:41):
everything is in body confidence, and so I often think that's
where my mind automatically goes.
But this goes for any sort ofconfidence.
So one of the things that we cando until we become it is take
loving actions.
You know, one of the things alot of people talk about is how
(07:03):
you know you should love yourbody.
But that sounds great, but Ican't just wake up tomorrow and
be like I love my body becauseI'm not going to mean it.
Okay, now, tomorrow I mightmean it.
I've worked really, really hardover several years to try to
get in that mindset, but there'sa lot of mornings where I don't
love my body.
(07:26):
And sure, I can sit here and sayI love my body, I love my body,
I love my body, but it's nottrue, and in my soul and in my
mind I know that.
So saying that over and overagain isn't going to support me.
So instead, what I get to do isI get to take loving actions
towards my body, and you canalso take loving actions towards
all different types of areas ofyour life.
(07:47):
So, for example, what thatwould mean for me the loving
actions are eating a vegetable,right?
If I'm taking loving actionstowards my body, if I don't love
my body today, I'm notconfident in my body today.
I don't have to fake it.
I don't have to fake like I'min love with my body.
But what I can do is I can takeloving actions towards my body
(08:10):
because that's going to send asignal to my body and to my mind
like, hey, I love you enough todo these things for you.
So think about it.
It's like similar with what yourkids or your spouse or your
friend, like whoever in yourlife.
Sometimes you're like homie,like what are you doing?
You are driving me insane,right?
(08:31):
And but at the same time, wecan take loving actions towards
them because we're like I know Ilove you and tomorrow I'm going
to forget that you're drivingme nuts today.
So I'm still going to takeloving actions towards you, and
so the same goes for ourselves.
We can take loving actionstowards ourselves.
So maybe it's eating a veggie,maybe it's taking a walk, maybe
(08:51):
it's just laying down bingingsome you know some Hallmark
Christmas movies, maybe it'sjust playing with our kids.
Whatever it is that we'resignaling to ourselves like, hey
, I'm not at the point.
I'm not at that point right now, but I want you to know that I
am taking loving action towardsyou, and so that often helps me
(09:15):
not feel like I have to fake it,but rather that I'm doing
things that make me feel better,that are loving, even if I'm
not in love with my body or myconfidence.
The other thing I like to do isremind myself, similar to what I
was just sharing, thataffirmations are cool.
(09:35):
Okay, they're great.
Yay, love, I love me.
Like I'm brave, I'm smart.
Those are cool, okay, they'regreat.
Yay, love, I love me.
Like I'm brave, I'm smart.
Those are cool, but what Ireally have found is that they
don't work for me.
I find that they're fluffy, Ifind that you know, they, they,
I don't believe them, right,like, like I said, I could wake
up tomorrow and be like I lovemy body, but if I look in the
(09:55):
mirror and actually I'm notseeing anything that I love, and
that's okay.
If that happens, then sayingover and over again I love my
body, I love my body, I love mybody isn't going to make it real
.
I'm just literally faking theseaffirmations that are realistic
but also push me right.
(10:23):
So maybe I can't say today Ilove my body, but what I can say
is that I love the effort thatI've put in to myself up until
this point and I have theability to make choices for
myself today that will make meproud.
That's my affirmation, or maybeour affirmation, if we're
(10:49):
working really hard on creatingour confidence around our
business and maybe we struggleand we're trying to fake it
right Of like, oh my gosh, Ihave the most successful
business ever and really we'restruggling.
We're like I have negative $150in my bank account and I don't
know how I'm going to build thisbusiness and I don't even know
if this is right for me, andyada, yada, yada, and we go on
these long tangents about why wecan't do something.
And yet then we say I'm asuccessful business owner, I
(11:12):
make a million dollars, I am thetop of my company, like what?
No, you're never going tobelieve those things if your
reality is so opposite.
So we get to.
Instead, if you're in thatsituation, then we create an
affirmation that helps us dothings to become it right.
Not fake it till you make it,but do it till you become it.
We're doing things and sayingthings like maybe I have the
(11:39):
strength and the skills to builda wildly successful business
and I am taking the actionstoday to do so.
Bam, right, I can believe thatbecause I'm in control of that.
I'm in control of the choicesthat I make today.
So if you are one of thosepeople that often hear fake it
till you make it, or you aresaying that a lot to yourself
(12:00):
and it's not working for you,try shifting the affirmations
that you're saying to somethingthat is more believable and in
your control, that your body,like your body feels it when it
feels right, when it's honest,and so shifting that, do it till
you become it Okay, honest, andso shifting that, do it till
you become it Okay.
The third thing is learn,practice, preach, repeat, repeat
(12:28):
.
That's hard to say.
Learn, practice, preach, repeat, okay.
I could totally make a dance tothat.
Learn, practice, preach, repeat.
Learn, practice, preach, repeat, okay.
Anyways, what I mean by this isoftentimes when we lack
confidence in ourselves.
It's just, it's a competenceissue.
It has more to do with us notbelieving that we know enough.
(12:49):
And now let's be honest aswomen, we always feel like we
have to have anothercertification, another training,
another course, another degree,another initial behind our name
, like there's always somethingwe always feel like we aren't
enough.
And we got to shift that.
And we do know a lot of things.
(13:12):
But if we are struggling withour confidence, one of the best
things that we can do is dive indeeper into the things that are
really important to us.
So if we're lacking confidence,for example, in our body image,
let's read more about bodyimage.
Let's dig into the research,let's get really really well
(13:33):
versed on all the differentthoughts and aspects of body
image and confidence.
If we're struggling with ourbusiness, let's dig deep into
how to build a successfulbusiness, how to shift your
mindset to build a successfulbusiness.
If we're struggling with ourrelationships, let's read more
and listen more and dive intomore about how we can have
(13:56):
healthy, successfulrelationships.
And so a lot of times, what Ifind is that we're just kind of
stuck.
We're just kind of stuckfeeling like we're not learning
enough and we're not up to dateon all of the information.
At least that's how I have felt.
And so when I dig in, when Ifind myself struggling with
(14:18):
feeling like I need to fake itbecause I'm like I'm not as
smart as these other people, I'mnot as well versed in all these
things that these other peopleare, I like to just go all in on
learning and reading andlistening.
So that way I'm like yo, I knowthis stuff, like I know this,
like the back of my hand, I gotthis, like I can do this.
(14:38):
So it's learning.
Then it's practicing.
Right, don't just read to read,don't just take a course to
take a course, don't just hire acoach just to hire a coach.
You got to listen, you got tolearn it, and then we got to
apply it, we got to practice.
So body confidence is a dailypractice.
We get to show up and practicethese habits to build that
(15:01):
confidence within ourselves.
We get to practice building thebusiness.
We get to practice not perfectit, but practice it.
And then I throw in here preach, because I think what's really,
really helped me a lot in myjourney is when I share the
message with other peoplebecause I get passionate.
If you've listened to thepodcast for a while, you know
(15:21):
your homegirl gets crazy, likeinto it.
I get a little preachy, I startsweating, like this is my jam,
like I absolutely love sharingall the things about body
confidence and raising confidentgirls and health and wellness.
It just lights my soul on fire.
And so when I can get thatpreachy, when I can start
(15:43):
sharing that, that I'm sopassionate about it, it instills
in me so much more confidenceto where I'm not faking it.
This is me sharing me.
So if we learn something and wepractice it, then we get to
share it, and that's what I meanby preach.
Share it with other humans,whether it's your kids.
Sometimes I talk to my dogs.
(16:05):
Okay, talk to your dogs.
Preach to your spouse, get onpodcasts and share your message.
Whatever you can do to talkabout the things that you're
working on becoming moreconfident in so you're not
faking it, the more successfulyou are going to feel, the more
confident you are going to feelin your body with the
(16:27):
information that you're sharing.
And then the last thing isobviously repeat.
That's what we always got to do, right?
This isn't about perfectinganything, because this is a
constant work in progress.
So that's number three is learn, practice, preach, repeat.
Got it Okay?
Finally, the last thing I wantto share with you, so that way
we are no longer faking it tillwe make it, is we are going to
(16:50):
use habits and rituals thatactually create instant
confidence.
Okay, confidence is a trust andbelief in ourselves, and it's a
long-term game.
Right, we're learning, we'repracticing, we're preaching,
we're repeating.
That's a long-term process,that's lifelong.
So what can we do, though, inthe short term?
(17:13):
So that way, if you're about togo out on stage, or you're
about to get on a podcast, oryou're about to give a speech or
go for an interview or presentto your colleagues, whatever
your situation is, how can youcreate instant confidence to
help you in that moment, so youdon't have to feel like you fake
it.
And there are several habits andrituals that I share often, and
(17:36):
I'll continue to share here onthe podcast, but one of the
things that you can listen to anolder episode that I have
shared is my five-stepconfidence ritual, and that is
like a pregame.
You know, if you think again,go listen to the full episode,
you'll get all the details, butit's essentially the idea that
(17:57):
before every game that anathlete plays right, she's going
to play soccer and she goes outonto the field and she does
certain things right, whetherit's clapping her hands, it's
kneeling, it's, you know,listening to a song, it's
warming up a certain way, it's,whatever she does something
(18:17):
specific.
A football player goes out,might have to wear certain
cleats, or they might have towear their hair a certain way,
or they might have to hear acertain song, or they have to do
some sort of like handshake.
All of these athletes have apregame ritual that take them
from being who they are ineveryday life to being that
(18:39):
confident athlete who is readyto perform, who is ready to
compete, who is trusting andbelieving in themselves to go
out and do incredible things.
We are no different.
We can create these pregamerituals for instant confidence,
(19:03):
and so this five-step systemuses your senses to see certain
things and hear certain thingsand do different things in five
minutes with five differentthings, to create some instant
confidence as a pregame ritualto get you in the zone of.
(19:25):
I am about to do this and I'mgoing to nail this, and so I
encourage you to go back andlisten to that episode and
consider what other types ofhabits and rituals are things
that you maybe currently do thatyou've never really thought of,
that actually do create moreconfidence for you.
Maybe they do spike your energy, maybe they do like, make you
(19:46):
feel like a million bucks, and Iwould encourage you to take
those things and start doingthem in moments where you really
are feeling like you have tofake it and use those things
instead to shift your mindsetand step into that confident
version of you.
Okay, so we're remixing thefake it till you make it right.
(20:08):
So we've remixed that wholeidea of faking it till you make
it to saying we're going to doit until we become it and we're
going to use these four simplestrategies the loving actions,
the affirmations that youbelieve, the learn, practice,
preach, repeat and using habitsand rituals and we're going to
take those things and we aregoing to use them consistently.
(20:29):
So we are no longer encouragingourselves or others to fake it
till you make it, so we canactually do it until we become
it, because you don't have to gosearch for your confidence.
You don't have to go look forthe confident version of
yourself.
You don't have to search for itand look in books or look at
(20:51):
other people and hope that oneday you're just going to find it
.
Or tomorrow you're going towake up in the morning and
you're going to be like I'm soconfident it is never, ever,
ever going to happen.
I'm sorry to be the bearer ofbad news, but that is the
reality.
Your confidence is alreadyinside of you.
It's already right there.
You don't have to go find it.
All you have to do is make thedecision that you are going to
(21:13):
unleash it, that you are goingto believe in yourself, you are
going to trust in yourself thatyou can do the things to become
that version of you, because sheis already right inside of you.
So no more faking it till youmake it.
We are doing it until we becomeit, and we are using simple
(21:34):
strategies to create thatconfidence, to unleash that
confidence in the short term aswe are building lifelong
confidence.
Got it, get it Good.
All right, sister, all right.
I would love to hear from youIf this episode, or any episode
you've listened to, hit a nerveor you're like oh yes, I needed
(21:58):
that.
I would love to hear from youwhether you just want to hit me
up on social.
Send me a text here, drop areview.
All the things are sosupportive and helpful for me.
I don't want to just talk atyou, I want to talk with you.
So talk back, sister, use yourvoice, turn it up, let's go.
All right, I will see you herein the next.
(22:20):
I won't see you, that's just ahabit that I have of saying see
you.
I will not see you, but I willget to chat with you on the next
episode, and I so look forwardto doing that.
So remember that you are prettypowerful.
Now turn up the volume on yourconfidence and on your habits
and let's unleash that confidentversion of you.
All right, bye, friend.
What is up, welcome back to Turn it Up.
Today's playlist is all abouthow can we turn down literally
the worst piece of advice thatis ever given to a human that we
literally probably hear almostevery single day, and how do we
flip that.
So I have four songs playlistfor you of things that you can
(00:22):
actually do to shift this quote,this piece of advice that we
always give, how we can shiftthat in a way that we can
actually build more confidencein ourselves.
So I'm so excited to hang outwith you today.
I got to share I'm sitting downin my office and I have one of
my favorite shirts on that Ihave made and I just want to
(00:44):
share it with you because Ithink it's an important reminder
and something that we couldconstantly put on repeat in our
brains.
So it's a quote that says asstrong as the girl next to me
and to me, what that means.
I'd love to hear from you, likewhen I said that as strong as
the girl next to me, like whatcomes to your mind.
(01:04):
How said that?
As strong as the girl next tome, like what comes to your mind
, how does that?
What does that mean to you?
How does that make you feel Forme, when I read that and I hear
it and I wear it and I feel it,it just means to me that, no
matter what I do for myself,it's important because it's
(01:24):
going to inspire and supportother people and becoming the
best version of them, but it'sreally irrelevant if I am not
also supporting and helping thegirls and the women next to me,
because I can only be so strongon my own right.
We need the women and girls inour lives to be stronger.
(01:47):
Right, there's no competitionhere.
We literally all win when oneof us wins, and so we get to
help each other and hold eachother's hands and you know, I
imagine cheerleaders right, likehaving you put your foot in my
hands and let me push you up ashigh as I possibly can, and so I
think this is a.
I know that this is an importantmessage to remind ourselves of
(02:12):
and also to remind our girls ofthe girls that are in our lives,
that probably are strugglingwith some girl friendships we
all do, from the time we're fiveyears old till the time we're.
However old we are today, it'sa reality, but we get to decide
how we can do things differently, and so I wanted to start with
(02:33):
that.
Okay, let's jump in to theliteral worst piece of advice.
I believe that we are allgiving and we are all receiving,
and that is fake it till youmake it.
And you may have just said thatlike an hour ago, and it's okay
, it's okay.
But I want to challenge ustoday to shift this thinking, to
consider an alternative and toactually have concrete steps of
(02:57):
what we can do so we don't haveto fake it, because when we say
fake it till you make it, we aresending a message to our brains
that says you don't have it,you ain't it, you ain't got it,
you don't have the skills, youdon't have the talents, you
don't have the strength toactually achieve the things that
you want to achieve, unless youfake it.
(03:20):
Who likes fake?
We don't want fake people.
We don't want fake food.
We don't want fake food.
We don't want fake.
We don't want anything to befake.
We want things to be real.
Why do we think that TikTok tookoff like crazy when it first
started?
Because people on TikTok werethe most realist humans.
There was no filters, there wasno caring what you were wearing
(03:42):
or if you fell down, or it wasliterally the place where people
went that they felt safe.
They felt like they could bethemselves, like they could
create content and nobody wouldjudge them, but like they could
go viral if they were out there,right, if they were awkward and
silly and just being themselves.
(04:03):
And so we realize that in ourworld, like we actually really
want realness, we wantauthenticity, and yet we tell
people and we tell ourselveswell, you just got to fake it
till you make it.
And a lot of times that comesalong with business and success
and finance, like all thosethings.
But it also comes from a placeof confidence, right?
(04:29):
You know, if you start gettingnervous to go out on stage and
speak on stage or to go for aninterview or whatever it is for
you, like when you're going todo those things, people always
say like, well, just fake ittill you make it.
You'll do it.
Just fake it Right, act likethe people are all in their
underwear, right.
And we know that people meanwell when they say that, but we
(04:52):
are faking an experience becausewe don't have the confidence to
actually be it Right.
And so I want to challenge usthat instead of faking it,
because again, that sends thatmessage to ourselves that we
don't have what we need, andsubconsciously, we're just
reiterating to ourselves that wewill never become that because
we will have to fake it.
And so we don't have to fake ittill we make it.
(05:14):
What if we decided that we weregoing to do it until we became
it?
So if we want, for example,more confidence maybe it's body
confidence, maybe it's justbusiness confidence, maybe it's
whatever type of confidence inyourself for you to fully step
into your power to beauthentically yourself Whenever
(05:34):
we want that why don't we dothings that actually help us
become it until we actually areit right?
So do it until you become it.
So here are four quick thingsthat I like to do for myself.
So I don't tell myself to fakeit till you make it, because I
am every single day, working onmy confidence right, every
(05:56):
single day.
I believe that we wake up andchoose confidence, because the
world will constantly be right,pushing us down, telling us that
we can't, we're not good enough, yada, yada, yada.
And so it's a consciousdecision every single day to say
I am going to show up as themost confident version of me,
and it's a daily practice, ithas to become a habit.
And so when I'm sharing thesethings with you, I want you to
(06:19):
hear not me preaching at you andtelling you what to do because
I've mastered it, but sharingwith you what I do and what I'm
currently doing on my lifelongjourney of building confidence
within myself.
And that is all different typesof confidence.
And again, y'all know that I'mobsessed and my expertise and
(06:41):
everything is in body confidence, and so I often think that's
where my mind automatically goes.
But this goes for any sort ofconfidence.
So one of the things that we cando until we become it is take
loving actions.
You know, one of the things alot of people talk about is how
(07:03):
you know you should love yourbody.
But that sounds great, but Ican't just wake up tomorrow and
be like I love my body becauseI'm not going to mean it.
Okay, now, tomorrow I mightmean it.
I've worked really, really hardover several years to try to
get in that mindset, but there'sa lot of mornings where I don't
love my body.
(07:26):
And sure, I can sit here and sayI love my body, I love my body,
I love my body, but it's nottrue, and in my soul and in my
mind I know that.
So saying that over and overagain isn't going to support me.
So instead, what I get to do isI get to take loving actions
towards my body, and you canalso take loving actions towards
all different types of areas ofyour life.
(07:47):
So, for example, what thatwould mean for me the loving
actions are eating a vegetable,right?
If I'm taking loving actionstowards my body, if I don't love
my body today, I'm notconfident in my body today.
I don't have to fake it.
I don't have to fake like I'min love with my body.
But what I can do is I can takeloving actions towards my body
(08:10):
because that's going to send asignal to my body and to my mind
like, hey, I love you enough todo these things for you.
So think about it.
It's like similar with what yourkids or your spouse or your
friend, like whoever in yourlife.
Sometimes you're like homie,like what are you doing?
You are driving me insane,right?
(08:31):
And but at the same time, wecan take loving actions towards
them because we're like I know Ilove you and tomorrow I'm going
to forget that you're drivingme nuts today.
So I'm still going to takeloving actions towards you, and
so the same goes for ourselves.
We can take loving actionstowards ourselves.
So maybe it's eating a veggie,maybe it's taking a walk, maybe
(08:51):
it's just laying down bingingsome you know some Hallmark
Christmas movies, maybe it'sjust playing with our kids.
Whatever it is that we'resignaling to ourselves like, hey
, I'm not at the point.
I'm not at that point right now, but I want you to know that I
am taking loving action towardsyou, and so that often helps me
(09:15):
not feel like I have to fake it,but rather that I'm doing
things that make me feel better,that are loving, even if I'm
not in love with my body or myconfidence.
The other thing I like to do isremind myself, similar to what I
was just sharing, thataffirmations are cool.
(09:35):
Okay, they're great.
Yay, love, I love me.
Like I'm brave, I'm smart.
Those are cool, okay, they'regreat.
Yay, love, I love me.
Like I'm brave, I'm smart.
Those are cool, but what Ireally have found is that they
don't work for me.
I find that they're fluffy, Ifind that you know, they, they,
I don't believe them, right,like, like I said, I could wake
up tomorrow and be like I lovemy body, but if I look in the
(09:55):
mirror and actually I'm notseeing anything that I love, and
that's okay.
If that happens, then sayingover and over again I love my
body, I love my body, I love mybody isn't going to make it real
.
I'm just literally faking theseaffirmations that are realistic
but also push me right.
(10:23):
So maybe I can't say today Ilove my body, but what I can say
is that I love the effort thatI've put in to myself up until
this point and I have theability to make choices for
myself today that will make meproud.
That's my affirmation, or maybeour affirmation, if we're
(10:49):
working really hard on creatingour confidence around our
business and maybe we struggleand we're trying to fake it
right Of like, oh my gosh, Ihave the most successful
business ever and really we'restruggling.
We're like I have negative $150in my bank account and I don't
know how I'm going to build thisbusiness and I don't even know
if this is right for me, andyada, yada, yada, and we go on
these long tangents about why wecan't do something.
And yet then we say I'm asuccessful business owner, I
(11:12):
make a million dollars, I am thetop of my company, like what?
No, you're never going tobelieve those things if your
reality is so opposite.
So we get to.
Instead, if you're in thatsituation, then we create an
affirmation that helps us dothings to become it right.
Not fake it till you make it,but do it till you become it.
We're doing things and sayingthings like maybe I have the
(11:39):
strength and the skills to builda wildly successful business
and I am taking the actionstoday to do so.
Bam, right, I can believe thatbecause I'm in control of that.
I'm in control of the choicesthat I make today.
So if you are one of thosepeople that often hear fake it
till you make it, or you aresaying that a lot to yourself
(12:00):
and it's not working for you,try shifting the affirmations
that you're saying to somethingthat is more believable and in
your control, that your body,like your body feels it when it
feels right, when it's honest,and so shifting that, do it till
you become it Okay, honest, andso shifting that, do it till
you become it Okay.
The third thing is learn,practice, preach, repeat, repeat
(12:28):
.
That's hard to say.
Learn, practice, preach, repeat, okay.
I could totally make a dance tothat.
Learn, practice, preach, repeat.
Learn, practice, preach, repeat, okay.
Anyways, what I mean by this isoftentimes when we lack
confidence in ourselves.
It's just, it's a competenceissue.
It has more to do with us notbelieving that we know enough.
(12:49):
And now let's be honest aswomen, we always feel like we
have to have anothercertification, another training,
another course, another degree,another initial behind our name
, like there's always somethingwe always feel like we aren't
enough.
And we got to shift that.
And we do know a lot of things.
(13:12):
But if we are struggling withour confidence, one of the best
things that we can do is dive indeeper into the things that are
really important to us.
So if we're lacking confidence,for example, in our body image,
let's read more about bodyimage.
Let's dig into the research,let's get really really well
(13:33):
versed on all the differentthoughts and aspects of body
image and confidence.
If we're struggling with ourbusiness, let's dig deep into
how to build a successfulbusiness, how to shift your
mindset to build a successfulbusiness.
If we're struggling with ourrelationships, let's read more
and listen more and dive intomore about how we can have
(13:56):
healthy, successfulrelationships.
And so a lot of times, what Ifind is that we're just kind of
stuck.
We're just kind of stuckfeeling like we're not learning
enough and we're not up to dateon all of the information.
At least that's how I have felt.
And so when I dig in, when Ifind myself struggling with
(14:18):
feeling like I need to fake itbecause I'm like I'm not as
smart as these other people, I'mnot as well versed in all these
things that these other peopleare, I like to just go all in on
learning and reading andlistening.
So that way I'm like yo, I knowthis stuff, like I know this,
like the back of my hand, I gotthis, like I can do this.
(14:38):
So it's learning.
Then it's practicing.
Right, don't just read to read,don't just take a course to
take a course, don't just hire acoach just to hire a coach.
You got to listen, you got tolearn it, and then we got to
apply it, we got to practice.
So body confidence is a dailypractice.
We get to show up and practicethese habits to build that
(15:01):
confidence within ourselves.
We get to practice building thebusiness.
We get to practice not perfectit, but practice it.
And then I throw in here preach, because I think what's really,
really helped me a lot in myjourney is when I share the
message with other peoplebecause I get passionate.
If you've listened to thepodcast for a while, you know
(15:21):
your homegirl gets crazy, likeinto it.
I get a little preachy, I startsweating, like this is my jam,
like I absolutely love sharingall the things about body
confidence and raising confidentgirls and health and wellness.
It just lights my soul on fire.
And so when I can get thatpreachy, when I can start
(15:43):
sharing that, that I'm sopassionate about it, it instills
in me so much more confidenceto where I'm not faking it.
This is me sharing me.
So if we learn something and wepractice it, then we get to
share it, and that's what I meanby preach.
Share it with other humans,whether it's your kids.
Sometimes I talk to my dogs.
(16:05):
Okay, talk to your dogs.
Preach to your spouse, get onpodcasts and share your message.
Whatever you can do to talkabout the things that you're
working on becoming moreconfident in so you're not
faking it, the more successfulyou are going to feel, the more
confident you are going to feelin your body with the
(16:27):
information that you're sharing.
And then the last thing isobviously repeat.
That's what we always got to do, right?
This isn't about perfectinganything, because this is a
constant work in progress.
So that's number three is learn, practice, preach, repeat.
Got it Okay?
Finally, the last thing I wantto share with you, so that way
we are no longer faking it tillwe make it, is we are going to
(16:50):
use habits and rituals thatactually create instant
confidence.
Okay, confidence is a trust andbelief in ourselves, and it's a
long-term game.
Right, we're learning, we'repracticing, we're preaching,
we're repeating.
That's a long-term process,that's lifelong.
So what can we do, though, inthe short term?
(17:13):
So that way, if you're about togo out on stage, or you're
about to get on a podcast, oryou're about to give a speech or
go for an interview or presentto your colleagues, whatever
your situation is, how can youcreate instant confidence to
help you in that moment, so youdon't have to feel like you fake
it.
And there are several habits andrituals that I share often, and
(17:36):
I'll continue to share here onthe podcast, but one of the
things that you can listen to anolder episode that I have
shared is my five-stepconfidence ritual, and that is
like a pregame.
You know, if you think again,go listen to the full episode,
you'll get all the details, butit's essentially the idea that
(17:57):
before every game that anathlete plays right, she's going
to play soccer and she goes outonto the field and she does
certain things right, whetherit's clapping her hands, it's
kneeling, it's, you know,listening to a song, it's
warming up a certain way, it's,whatever she does something
(18:17):
specific.
A football player goes out,might have to wear certain
cleats, or they might have towear their hair a certain way,
or they might have to hear acertain song, or they have to do
some sort of like handshake.
All of these athletes have apregame ritual that take them
from being who they are ineveryday life to being that
(18:39):
confident athlete who is readyto perform, who is ready to
compete, who is trusting andbelieving in themselves to go
out and do incredible things.
We are no different.
We can create these pregamerituals for instant confidence,
(19:03):
and so this five-step systemuses your senses to see certain
things and hear certain thingsand do different things in five
minutes with five differentthings, to create some instant
confidence as a pregame ritualto get you in the zone of.
(19:25):
I am about to do this and I'mgoing to nail this, and so I
encourage you to go back andlisten to that episode and
consider what other types ofhabits and rituals are things
that you maybe currently do thatyou've never really thought of,
that actually do create moreconfidence for you.
Maybe they do spike your energy, maybe they do like, make you
(19:46):
feel like a million bucks, and Iwould encourage you to take
those things and start doingthem in moments where you really
are feeling like you have tofake it and use those things
instead to shift your mindsetand step into that confident
version of you.
Okay, so we're remixing thefake it till you make it right.
(20:08):
So we've remixed that wholeidea of faking it till you make
it to saying we're going to doit until we become it and we're
going to use these four simplestrategies the loving actions,
the affirmations that youbelieve, the learn, practice,
preach, repeat and using habitsand rituals and we're going to
take those things and we aregoing to use them consistently.
(20:29):
So we are no longer encouragingourselves or others to fake it
till you make it, so we canactually do it until we become
it, because you don't have to gosearch for your confidence.
You don't have to go look forthe confident version of
yourself.
You don't have to search for itand look in books or look at
(20:51):
other people and hope that oneday you're just going to find it
.
Or tomorrow you're going towake up in the morning and
you're going to be like I'm soconfident it is never, ever,
ever going to happen.
I'm sorry to be the bearer ofbad news, but that is the
reality.
Your confidence is alreadyinside of you.
It's already right there.
You don't have to go find it.
All you have to do is make thedecision that you are going to
(21:13):
unleash it, that you are goingto believe in yourself, you are
going to trust in yourself thatyou can do the things to become
that version of you, because sheis already right inside of you.
So no more faking it till youmake it.
We are doing it until we becomeit, and we are using simple
(21:34):
strategies to create thatconfidence, to unleash that
confidence in the short term aswe are building lifelong
confidence.
Got it, get it Good.
All right, sister, all right.
I would love to hear from youIf this episode, or any episode
you've listened to, hit a nerveor you're like oh yes, I needed
(21:58):
that.
I would love to hear from youwhether you just want to hit me
up on social.
Send me a text here, drop areview.
All the things are sosupportive and helpful for me.
I don't want to just talk atyou, I want to talk with you.
So talk back, sister, use yourvoice, turn it up, let's go.
All right, I will see you herein the next.
(22:20):
I won't see you, that's just ahabit that I have of saying see
you.
I will not see you, but I willget to chat with you on the next
episode, and I so look forwardto doing that.
So remember that you are prettypowerful.
Now turn up the volume on yourconfidence and on your habits
and let's unleash that confidentversion of you.
All right, bye, friend.
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