February 19, 2025 • 62 mins
Fasten your seatbelts as we tackle some wild discussions, like Germany's crackdown on online speech that has us pondering personal freedoms. Then, imagine the chaos of viral mugshots and a Michigan man's extreme plans to outdo his ex-girlfriend's new fling. If that’s not enough, we reflect on the hilarity and solitude of personal interactions and the intricacies of finding peace alone.
We lighten the mood by poking fun at the solemnity of funerals, questioning their necessity, and sharing offbeat childhood escapades inspired by the daredevil spirit of Evel Knievel. We even touch on the intriguing Nutty Putty Cave incident, mixing caution with humor. And yes, Tuttle reveals the definitive method to dealing with horrible customer service reps. This episode is full of laughs, insights, and a touch of nostalgia that will leave you grinning.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Tuttle and Klein Show Put my life into
pieces.
Is this the last resort, papa?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Roach.
Oh yeah, buddy.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
From the golden age Kev.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Oh yes, the golden age.
The golden age, how you beenman.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I've been doing great man.
How about you?
Everything good.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, yeah, things are great.
We're going to be snowed in forthe next three days.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah, that's some rough winter you're having,
right there, man, I know.
After we get done recording here, I'm actually going to go out
and run six miles in it, so Ican't wait.
Nice, yeah, yeah, yeah, nice,yeah.
Audrey was um, because you know, the league one volleyball had
their big tournament in kansascity, so audrey was like, hey,
(00:56):
it's 19 degrees, this sucks.
I hate this.
I'm like boy houston blood.
It's hard, isn't it?
It's tough.
Did it take you a while to getused to it again?
Because you know, you did.
You know, 16 years in Houston.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, it did.
Actually, it took me a reallylong while, like I started
running again in February ofthis year, just so you know this
month and we've had really,really cold weather the last two
weeks and it takes me about.
It took me about three days toreally get used to it.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Now, when you say run again, is this, um, you know
something where you got anothergoal in mind now?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I do, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know howseriously I'm going to explore
it, but yeah, I mean I'm runningto.
You know, I'm training foranother 100 miler.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Nice yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, so that's what's going on here.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I've added to my cardio.
I'll just do like random, youknow, 100 yard sprints.
How are your knees feeling Tomy fast walking?
They're good, they're okay.
Yeah, they're okay.
You know I'll feel it a littlebit.
You know that.
(02:11):
You know you'll feel I'll feelit a little bit.
You know that's the thing.
Anything you do when you get toour age, you feel it.
Later you do, yep, you feel it.
You know like.
You know I had, uh, the boysthis weekend and you know timmy
is wanting to get in shape.
Timmy's like I got to get readyfor baseball season.
You know, let's go get in shape.
You know, let's go hit, get onthe treadmill.
Let's go walk around theneighborhood, let's go throw the
ball.
You know, show me techniquesfor running the bases, all that
stuff.
So yeah, I dropped him offyesterday because they had the
(02:34):
extended weekend, the three-dayweekend, because of the holiday,
and I'm driving back and I'mgoing dang man, I love the boy
and I miss him, but I need abreak.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Hey, you know talking about Little League baseball.
You know when you played LittleLeague growing up in Shorewood,
wisconsin wasn't at the startof the season, was it cold for
you?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Oh, kev, you know, I remember some days where we had
snow, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, Last week the temperature, the high
temperature here, was 32 degreesand our local, one of our local
colleges, Evangel, had a homegame.
And I'm like man, I don't missthat crap at all.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, the cold weather stuff.
I mean, you just had to do it,Kev.
I remember playing footballgames in November where you know
you can feel the snot freezingup, Uh-huh, you know, you
remember that when you go out ona really cold, cold weather day
, the snot freezing up.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, I played a soccer game like that.
There was ice on the field.
We played with ice on the field.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I loved it.
I loved it.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I hated hitting in that cold, though I mean that
just stings your hands, See, Ijust remember football and I
remember just like you justwanted to go hit somebody so bad
, Because as soon as you hitsomebody, it was like a magical
thing, Like all the ice that youhad gathered on you mentally
just broke away and you're like,okay, now let's go.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Let's go, that adrenaline will warm you up.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, yeah, and you don't want any timeouts, you
don't want any extended anything.
Well, let's go, let's go, let'sgo.
The worst is when they calltimeout and I'll be like, oh
shit, they call the timeout,let's sip some gate.
Oh, the Gatorade's fuckingfrozen, damn it.
(04:26):
I was like, damn it, all right,let's chew on some.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Gatorade and get back into this.
Yeah, no, we're supposed to getupwards of 13 inches of snow
today.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Dang man, that's ridiculous.
Yeah, yeah, do you do theshoveling or do you have a
machine?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
No, I shovel.
That's a great workout.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
See, todd and I.
You know Todd.
As a matter of fact, toddhimself, he like bought snow
blowers, oh really.
So when we were in Wisconsin,he's like I'm going to make some
cake today, baby, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
He would just go from one neighbor to the other.
You know he would get done, andhe'd go knock on the door and
be like you want me to take careof this for you Probably had
that thing paid off by one sideof the uh division.
Yeah, todd was industrious.
Me, though, I would make surethat he did ours first so I
could play basketball while hedid that.
There you go.
Yeah, priorities, buddy,because that was that.
(05:15):
Was that at the time, kev,where I all I wanted to do was
shoot hoops you?
know, yeah, shoot hoops andwatch espn.
This new fangled thing, thisbrand new thing, kev out of
nowhere with this Chris Bermanguy and Dick Vitale and stuff
like that, where collegebasketball games run every
single day, sometimes two orthree in one day and they panned
(05:40):
over to show a shot of RupertMurdoch, and Kevin Burkhart, who
was the lead play-by-play guy,said yeah, there's Rupert
Murdoch, the guy who founded ournetwork.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Do you remember when Fox first came on the air?
They were a laughingstock.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
They were until they got the Simpsons.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, longest running show on TV still.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Yeah, married with children.
In the Simpsons they were ajoke.
They were like what is thisshit man?
You're trying to actually beone of the networks.
But I think a lot of that waslike the networks trying to
throw that out there.
They're like who is this?
And then they get the Simpsons.
They're like uh-oh.
And then they get the marriedwith children.
(06:20):
They're like uh-oh, and thenAmerica's.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Most Want, wanted and shit like that.
Yeah, yeah, they're like badboys, bad boys, cops, what you
gonna do.
And it's like oh, look out,they're a player and then
they're going.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You know, they got their nfl games, now they got
major league baseball I thinkthat was the death knell right
there, as soon as they were likeyou know, we got enough money,
let's go ahead and make a pitchfor the nfl.
And then nfl started being, youknow, nbc.
Got fucking wiped out, Iremember that from the, uh, from
the nfl games yeah, I rememberthat that was great cool.
So what's?
I?
Mean, what's happening atcavity?
(06:56):
I I the only thing that I haveheard of over the past week.
I mean, I'm, I, I can't go onsocial media anymore, just it.
There's just so much stupidity,there's just so much idiocy.
I I do not watch the, uh, thenews at all.
It's just propaganda and itjust boils my blood.
It's just ridiculous.
So, uh, this is where you comein and you know, kind of remind
(07:21):
me of the shit that I'm missing.
The one thing I did hear aboutwas the USA versus Canada
all-star hockey brawl, becausethe Canadians were booing our
national anthem.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah, not the first time they've done that in a
public event since Trump leviedsome tariffs.
So yeah, they were playing inMontreal the other night and
it's part of the Four Nations.
Okay, so the Four Nations is ahockey tournament with the USA,
canada, finland and Sweden, andthe USA was up against Canada
and I mean those are the twopowerhouses in the world and we
(07:57):
got booed during the AmericanNational Anthem, during the
American national Anthem.
So the Kachuk brothers, uh anduh, somebody else decided that
they were going to fight threeCanadian guys before, before the
first minute of the gamestarted.
So within nine seconds therewere three fights.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
That's so awesome.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, yeah, uh, by the way, the USA one.
And now they will play Canada,uh, tomorrow, which?
This is released on Wednesday.
They play them on Thursday forthe Four Nations Cup winner, but
that one, oh, that's great,yeah, but that one's in Boston.
So I can't imagine how badlywe're going to retaliate against
the Canadians for doing ouranthem.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Let's sharpen those blades, baby.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, so Matthew Kachuk and Brady Kachuk, I
believe, are the brothers.
They're sons of Keith Kachuk,who is a big-time NHLer who
played for the St Louis Blues,and the Kachuk brothers are from
St Louis.
They were born in St Louis, soyou know who's the guy that
(09:04):
plays basketball for the Celticsthe really good guy, tall.
That narrows it down?
Yeah, it does.
I can't remember his name, ohTatum.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Tatum.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah, so guess who?
Matthew Kachuk and Jason Tatumused to ride the bus together to
middle school Talk about great,they're best friends.
They're best friends, they'regreat friends.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
That's so funny man.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And they won.
Kachuk won the Stanley Cup thesame year that Tatum won the NBA
trophy and they took it totheir high school.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
That is so fucking crazy man, isn't it?
I love it.
I love it.
And, kev, let me talk to ourcanadian friends if I could real
quick.
Sure listen, this has nothingto do with you.
The american people lovecanadian people.
You're so nice, you know.
You're like.
You know we want to pet yourhead that makes me feel great I
(10:01):
just I like canadian they're.
It has nothing to do with youand all it is is about fairness.
All this is is, whatever yourcountries have been charging us,
we're going to charge you.
It's the same thing.
You still want to contend youwith the unfair shit of?
(10:25):
You're going to hit us with an18% tariff, but we can't hit you
with a tariff.
How is that bad?
It's how it always should havebeen.
I don't know what situationwe're in Kev, where our idiot,
corrupt, criminal, blackmailedpoliticians made the decision of
okay, we're going to make ourcompanies pay that much tariff,
but not charge their countrytariff.
(10:47):
You know, those people should beindicted just for that.
You know, all this is is evenwe just want shit even.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But see, I think what you just did was fell into the
trap too.
It's not about a hockey gameanymore, it's about politics.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
It's just a hockey game, I know I know, but the
media drums this shit up, yeahwell, that's why you don't watch
it.
Yeah, you don't understand thatyou're playing into their hands.
The media is your mortal enemy.
They're the enemy of the people, the enemy of the Constitution,
the enemy of your freedoms.
The enemy of the constitution,the enemy of your freedoms, the
(11:26):
enemy of your rights.
They work for billionairecontrol freaks who consider us a
virus.
Remember that that's who theywork for.
They're trying to divide us.
We got to rise above it andrealize what it is.
That's what it is.
You know.
Play hockey.
You know.
Don't worry about any otherbullshit.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Let me ask you this, because you mentioned that you
know we're getting levied at an18% tariff when we send stuff to
Canada.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I just threw out that number.
I don't know what the exactnumber is.
Okay, but we are getting taxed,yes, our company, our companies
have to pay a tariff, a tax, toship our goods into Canada,
into Mexico, into Europeannations, and they don't pay
anything.
And we're the biggest market inthe world.
You don't survive or go bigwithout the American consumer.
(12:16):
Okay, and finally we get someguy in there going, hey, let's
just make shit even.
And everybody freaks out.
And they're going, hey, let'sjust make shit even, and
everybody freaks out.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So if I mean I guess I know the answer to this
question, but OK, if, if theydropped their taxes on our stuff
, we wouldn't have to increaseour taxes on their stuff, but
then they would be losing out onmuch needed money.
Is that that what the deal is?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
And the thing about Canada is we just give them
money anyway.
So we give them tariff, youknow, revenue and we give the
supply them aid, which is why,you know, if you look at it,
trump was when he said, hey,let's just make them the 51st
state.
They technically already are.
Because of what we do for them,we protect them Nobody there.
Because of what we do for them,we protect them, nobody.
(13:04):
You're never going to seeanybody invade Canada because
we'll blow their fucking shit up.
We will, you know.
So, technically, canadians, youalready are okay.
Just relax, you know.
Sip a Molson, you know.
Get some of your maple syrupgoing and chill out, watch some
(13:26):
great hockey.
That's what it's all about,okay.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
We got this.
While we're on the topic ofCanada, did you see that Delta
airlines crash at Torontointernational airport yesterday
Is?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
that crazy or what I cannot believe.
Nobody got like seriously, likehurt Like nobody died and only
two people were.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I mean, only I mean two people were.
I mean only I mean two peoplewere critically injured and had
to be a helicopter to thehospital.
They're expected to be okay, Ithink, but uh, yeah, uh, it
flipped over on its roof, it wasupside down.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Crazy man, yeah, why you don't land in snow kev, let
me tell you this I I will becompletely honest with you.
I would occasionally you know Iwould cheat and drop the seat
belt.
You know I will never do thatagain.
I will keep that seat belt onuntil we're idling in the
(14:18):
fucking hangar and or uh on theuh, on the uh terminal now I am
very curious to well.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I mean, I know what you're going to say on this, but
we were talking earlier, alittle bit ago, about freedoms
and all that kind of stuff.
Did you see what they're doingover in Germany?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
No, what are they doing in Germany?
Jesus, here we go.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
German officials of the country's government have
initiated a nationwide crackdownon offensive speech, trying to
bring some civility to the WorldWide Web.
They are literally country'sgovernment have initiated a
nationwide crackdown onoffensive speech, trying to
bring some civility to theworldwide web.
They are literally going doorto door.
If they, if they follow your IPaddress and you have posted
something unsavory, they'regoing to your door and raiding
your house.
This was on 60 minutes theother night.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
That sounds very Nazi .
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Doesn't it though.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
That, that, that fourth.
We got a fourth right goinghere, Kev.
Is that the deal?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
We might be.
I mean, it says they believethat they're raiding homes of
those believed to be makingoffensive statements online.
They're following the IPaddresses.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
German people, just like you know other countries
that are under that control.
Freak, sicko, sociopath,psychotic, communist, socialist,
whatever you want to call it.
You got to fight, you got tofight.
I mean, they're basicallyputting you against the wall.
You've got to fight for yourrights and your freedoms.
You just do.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And to party.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, and don't forget you got to fight for your
right to party.
And plus, don't forget, you gotto fight for your right to
party.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Yeah, we've known that for a long time.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
All right Since 1986, we've known this.
You got to fight.
We're doing a beastie Kev.
You got a clip here.
Are we even allowed to playthis?
We're not going to play theBeastie Boys, we're going to
play Travis Kelsey doing it,because now I know we can get
away with that.
Yeah, we could do that one.
Okay, you got to fight for yourright to party.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
You know how you're always saying it is not the
car's fault, it is the person'sfault.
So, ladies, don't go exactrevenge on a guy's car.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you never see, I got uh freaked
out by that whole.
Uh, you know carrie underwoodsong about you know tearing up
the truck yeah you don't do that.
You don't you not blame thevehicle for the, the guy?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
you don't do that well, this lady didn't get the
memo, timmy, and her mug shotsgoing viral.
I think I sent it to youbecause everybody thinks she's
the most beautiful woman in theworld and so they're offering to
pay her bond and all that stuff.
What she did was she went overto her ex-boyfriend's house and
put Coke Zero and sucked onSkittles in his gas tank.
She got arrested for that.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Let me look at her Kev wow.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I could fix her here.
She is on the screen right now,timmy, it's your.
You've always said it, thoughshe is pretty enough to have
never had to deal with adversitythat's kev.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That is an issue.
Some women are so hot they'venever had any adversity
whatsoever and as soon as theycome across some, they overdo it
, they overcook it, they freakthe out.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Don't you see, in her eyes there's a little bit of
crazy?
Oh, totally.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
But there's a little bit of fun in there too.
I mean I just Kev.
You know it would probably costme six, maybe low seven figures
in the end, but God dang,sometimes it's worth it.
Maybe low seven figures in theend, but god dang, sometimes
it's worth it.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Do not let me do that shit again, kev.
No, I will not.
I will not.
I'm putting my foot down rightnow you have to step in.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
You.
You have the complete rights tostep in and go.
No, no, you're not buying her aring.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
and uh, that's not the only uh story.
Uh, in the news about jiltedlovers, ex-lovers 21-year-old
Michigan man he drove 700 milesto light his ex-girlfriend's
house on fire because, well, nothis ex-girlfriend's house on
fire, the guy that was talkingto her online his house on fire,
yeah, while his whole familywas in there.
(18:24):
Hey, that's not, uh, his fault,that's your, you got your, it's
your girl yeah, exactly so, uh,anyway, uh, all six people
escaped, but the two pets wereburned alive.
Yeah, I know right.
So he's, uh, he's in a world,he's in a heap of trouble yeah,
that's not good.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Yeah, no, what an asshole.
That's misdirected anger buddy,absolutely yeah, you know you
don't play.
He probably had no idea she hada boyfriend it was his ex.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
They weren't even together anymore.
What, yeah, his ex-girlfriend?
He went to the house of the guythat was talking to his
ex-girlfriend.
Dude man, you got issues yeah,there's.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
There's plenty of women out there.
Dude, now you're gonna do about30 40 years.
Yeah, here's a mugshot of womenout there.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Dude, now you're gonna do about 30 40 years yeah,
here's a mug shot of a girlthat's available apparently no
cap, she's mine she's yours,yeah, sorry she's mine.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Where, where is she and where do I bail her out?
What jail is she in?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I'll make my move there you go, so, and now you're
caught up to speed there, buddy.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Kev.
I do a lot, as you know, ofdeep thinking.
Yeah, you've always done that.
You know, especially these days,since I get a lot of time by
myself and I absolutely lovethat, gosh, I love it, kev.
There was another run-in I hadwith a lovely lady and she was
(19:48):
kind of talking to me and stufflike that, and I just totally
blew her off because I justdidn't want to go anywhere, no
way.
Yeah, I was supposed to hangout with her and I was just like
I'm not going to go.
What's wrong with me?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Unbelievable.
Yeah, just like I'm not gonnago.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
You know what's wrong with me?
Unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, I'm just like you're pulling that much wool
that you can just say, hey, youknow what?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I don't really feel like it today I, I just, yeah, I
just I'm not there, you know, Ijust I don't want to do I don't
want to do that.
I don't know about pulling wool, I just like I'm enjoying my my
time, man.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Okay, all right so are you more active now than you
were when you were in highschool and college?
What do you mean?
Active With the ladies?
Um having more opportunities.
I, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I was an idiot back then.
I mean I was fairly decentlooking after I got rid of my
bowl haircut and startedfeathering my hair back.
I was fairly decent, but I wasjust an idiot.
I didn't know how to talk tohim.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I mean, I just had no idea, I was awkward and I was
weird.
And you know, now I, just whenyou get to a point where you
just don't give a fuck andsomebody gives you that second
look, I mean I'll, I'll talk tohim.
That's probably why this stuffis happening.
You know, more than ever is aI'm available I mean I spent the
(21:14):
better part of 30 years notbeing available, you know and B
I just I, if, if I, if I seesomebody that looks good and
they look back at me, I'm goingto say something.
I just something.
I'm just going to, I'm going toput the feeler out.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
That's a high level of confidence, man.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, I just, I would just put the feeler out.
You know, and sometimes I, I, Isometimes I uh misstep.
Sometimes you know they werejust looking at me but they
didn't want anything to do withit.
They're married or somethinglike that or whatever.
Okay, but a lot of times it'slike, okay, if I wanted to
pursue that one, I know I couldget that one.
All right, you know what I'msaying.
(21:52):
Does that sound weird?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
No, not at all.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It doesn't sound weird at all.
But yeah, just you.
This is, this is a a dangeroustime, because you know I'm older
and I don't give a shit and I'm, and I'm still holding on.
I mean, I'm not like some, someugly ass dude out of shape and
shit like that, you know.
So it's a dangerous time andI'll probably be this way for a
few more years.
Nice, keep it up, man then I'llbe old and I'll be like damn it
(22:19):
.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
I should have settled down with somebody no, dude
you're, you're all taken care of.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You got the kids you know, yeah, yeah, we're when
trish and I get old, we'rescrewed.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Man.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
No, kids, nieces and nephews can't stand us yeah, oh,
yeah, hey, yeah, and speakingof which, you know and that was
something that I was pondering alot about is the whole idea of
funerals okay um, and I just, Ijust I finally hit me.
(22:51):
I'm just like they're so stupid.
I mean, why, right?
All that all a funeral is ishey, come look at the body.
Awkward weirdness, that's whatit is, you know.
Hey, come on by, look.
Yeah, he's dead.
Now, if you need to poke him,you can poke him, but you
(23:15):
probably shouldn't because hisfamily's right there.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
but yeah, he's dead.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
That's really all it is.
And then afterwards, cav, it'sthat awkward, bring your own
dish, like little post-partyshit.
It's just always so weird.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah, they call it a potluck yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I don't understand it , I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I mean I think it's for the people who are still
alive.
You're supposed to go send yoursympathies and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Yeah, but I I think that don't get me wrong and I
mean you've heard me talk aboutthis before in the past.
I was like I am man, my funeralman, you're gonna play some
Zeppelin stairway in the light,you know, and everybody will
joke around, smoke a doobie orsomething like that, and just
remember you know some goodtimes that we had and shit like
(24:05):
that.
You know I was all cool likethat, like we're going to do it
Now.
I'm just like I've spent myentire life annoying the fuck
out of people.
Why would I want to annoy themagain by, you know, expecting
them to come to my funeral?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That would be the ultimate annoyance.
You know, one last time I'mgoing to get them.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
No, I would just be like I don't want to do that to
people.
I'm just I don't, I don't.
Can you do that where you like?
Demand.
Hey, I don't want any fuckingfunerals at all.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah, I mean you can, you can put that in like a
living will or something likethat.
But you know it's.
What are you going to do aboutit?
You're dead dude.
It's the people who are who aresupposed to exact or enact that
will.
It's up to them and theirdiscretion.
So I mean, my father-in-law hassaid the same thing.
He wants just a, a wooden box.
He doesn't want anybody comingover to see him.
Um, but you know, I I don'tknow if we're gonna adhere to
(24:59):
that yeah, I mean, I like my dad.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
My dad just said hey, shave my head into a point and
pound me into the ground, bedone with it.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Jeez, fred say, save the money it's the fred spike,
but those things are expensive.
Funeral.
What is funeral, are theyreally?
Oh my God, jim.
$9,000 to $12,000.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I think, oh shit, Does that include everything
like the casket and everything?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I think so.
I mean, when my dad died 20years ago, it'll be 20 years ago
this year it was almost $5,000.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
And he burned through all the money.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
No, I paid for it.
I paid for it.
Oh, did you?
Oh, yeah, yeah, and he treatedyou like that.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Oh yeah, that was like.
Here you go, you son of a bitchNot going to be success, my ass
.
Watch this dad here.
Mr Funeral home guy, here's atip, here's a.
Take another grand.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
There you go, I'm paying to bury you.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Exactly.
Hey, I got one request Beforeyou shovel the dirt over, I get
to take a piss in there.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
No, he was buried with full military honors.
Man.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, my dad had the 21-gun salute too.
You know he was he was.
He was buried with fullmilitary honors man.
Yeah, my dad had the 21 gunsalute too.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
You know it was touching.
I mean, you know we did nothave the greatest relationship,
my father and I.
I'm learning more about himafter he's dead, about what he
actually thought about me, butyou know it was still still
touching.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, funny thing, real quick note.
Yeah, the girl that I, thewoman that I blew off I was
telling her about my disdain forfunerals, now, uh-huh, and
she's like, well, you'reprobably just worried that
nobody's going to come and youdon't want to throw it.
(26:58):
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, dude.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I'll be there.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
'll be there, assuming that I outlive you well
, that's good, because she saidshe would be there.
And now that I've blown her offI thought, oh man, now I got
nobody.
No, I, I just, I, you just lookat it, it's just, uh, it's it.
It really seems to be like anunnecessary ritual that we do.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
It is an odd thing, it is, but, like I said, I think
it's more for the people whoare alive, who are the survivors
, than it is for the dead person.
True, yeah, I mean, I don'twant one.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I don't want one, I just don't man, I don't want it
Kev, even in death?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
you don't know.
I just don't, man, I don't, Idon't want.
You know, like kev, even indeath, you don't want attention.
No, I don't and I don't want toburden people and, like you
said, you know you feelobligated to go that's the thing
is.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You know I, you know I live in houston, yeah, and my
kids don't.
You know, two of my kids don'teven live here.
Now, you know the other two arean hour away.
You know my, my, most of myfamily's either in california or
pennsylvania.
I mean, now you know the othertwo are an hour away.
You know my, my, most of myfamily's either in california or
pennsylvania.
I mean what you know, why wouldI, why would I want to do that
to them?
And you're in missouri, I meanyou probably feel obligated to
(28:10):
come.
You'd be like.
You know the houston chronicle,former radio dj dad.
You know you'd be like formerradio.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, because the newspaper never prints what is
what station you're on no, no,just the uh local radio dj local
dad.
No dude, I'd hop in thecorvette and drive right down
there.
Oh yeah, oh, hell yeah no, youwouldn't.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Yeah, I would.
No, you wouldn't.
I don't want you to man, whyguys?
I just don't, man, I don't wantanybody, I just be like all
right, you know, because to me Idon't.
You know, before you wanted toleave like a leave a legacy, you
want to leave a legacy.
Yeah, now I'm just like my kidslove their dad, that's your
(28:57):
legacy and they'll tell coolyeah to me.
That makes me immortal.
They love their dad.
And they'll tell theirgrandkids and their grandkids
that, yeah, grandpa Tim was allright yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah, I mean you have kids, that's your legacy, and I
mean your legacy is going to bephenomenal because your kids
are all upstanding, they'resuccessful, they're they're just
great kids.
So yeah, as long as the kidsaren't a fuck up, then you got a
great legacy, man.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Thank you.
Thank you, you're welcome.
I have developed the absolute,100%, perfect way to deal with
asshole like disgruntled,hateful customer service reps.
I did it, you did yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Explain the scenario please.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I will.
I will.
I want you to hear this storyand anybody can use this,
because it was the mosteffective way ever of dealing
with this shit.
Okay, I had noticed that, youknow, my phone and Wi-Fi bill
(30:12):
was getting larger and I waspuzzled about it because, you
know, within that bill, over thepast five years, I was quote
unquote paying off my iPhone.
So I was like man, after thislong, my iPhone should be
fucking paid off.
You know what I'm saying.
I do, and the price is going upon me and stuff like that.
I decided to call them Now Kev.
(30:35):
I don't want to identify them,I'll let them.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Let's just call them A T, okay, yeah, I don't know
who you're talking about there.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
We'll call them that okay, all right, yes, there they
are and you know I'm, I'mcurious about it and you know
I'm, just I'm, I decide that I'mjust gonna go in as calm, as
cool.
You know, you know my, uh, mychill voice oh, I do, I do yes.
Hey, kev, how you doing?
Hey, listen, yeah, timothyTuttle, richmond, texas.
Yeah, yeah, I was having thatchill voice.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
And this guy Kev.
It's your prototypical AT&Passhole that they love to hire
and put out on the front linescustomer asshole that they love
(31:27):
to hire and put out on the frontlines customer rep it's.
It's that typical guy.
You know, it's the kev.
It's the type of asshole thatpeople like, regular folk like
us.
We will enjoy hunting them downif there's ever a post
apocalyptic event, you know I'msaying if there's, if the purge
is legal, look out.
Exactly.
I mean, this is the type ofshit bag that we will jam an
apple in their mouth, put themover a barbecue spit and spin
(31:49):
them so cool survivors can havesome nourishment, some protein.
Okay, that guy.
Okay, it was the typical guy.
Guy, okay, it was the typicalguy.
Anyway, in response to meobviously annoying the fuck out
of him I'm just annoying himbecause I'm calm and cool and
(32:09):
I'm providing really goodnuggets of information
presenting my case I justfinally just said hey, look,
I'll tell you what.
James, with an Indian accent,why don't I just go fuck myself?
That's what I said.
Yeah, I said.
(32:30):
I said yeah, I'm going to, I'mgoing to go over to the corner
of my living room here, I'mgoing to get on the ground, I'm
going to stretch myself out,really, really good, you know.
And then I'm going to make myseven and three quarters inch
cock really hard oh shit.
And I'll do it like thinkingabout just the gorgeous,
attractive women A guy with yourpersonality probably beds all
(32:53):
the time and then I'm going to180 degree, rotate my hard penis
, shove it in my ass and I'mgoing to fuck myself, just for
you.
James Gav, yeah, that was hisresponse.
He laughed, did he?
(33:14):
Oh my God, he laughed and like30 seconds later I get not only
my original price back but 10%off of that.
And, oh yeah, next time I go toa AT&T like store, they're
going to flip out and give me anew iPhone for free Awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Boom, see, comedy works.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah, I just decided.
I was just like why don't I,hey, james, why don't I just go
fuck myself?
And that was it the whole.
I mean Kev, for a second Icould like hear him flipping,
you know, through the script,going fuck my, let me see it
right there, fuck my.
He says I'm going to go do afuck my.
We don't have anything but this.
(33:56):
How do we handle this?
Yeah, so there, it wasbeautiful so use it calf, yeah,
oh yeah, yeah.
Um, I know you sometimes haverun-ins with uh over exuberant
ass over exuberant, uhoverzealous asshole customer
service reps too oh, yeah, yeah,always leaves a bad taste in my
(34:18):
mouth but just just try and dome a favor If anybody that's
listening to this podcast orwatching it on YouTube.
If you ever employ the whydon't I just go fuck myself
strategy, let me know how itturns out that's nice you know,
yeah, you'd be curious.
Of course you would yeah, but asa matter of fact, since that
(34:40):
happened, I'm actually lookingfor scenarios where I can employ
it some more but isn't it kindof?
Speaker 2 (34:46):
it's kind of liberating to know you got
nothing to lose, so just goahead and do it, because they're
gonna railroad, they're gonna.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Yeah, see, they know because I'm in a community where
they have a monopoly.
They helped build and wire theinfrastructure for the Wi-Fi and
so they got exclusivitycontract.
So they know.
They have it tagged on theirscreen, probably going this
guy's fucked, he can't leave us,so I'm not going to go anywhere
(35:16):
.
I need my Wi-Fi for my gig manfor trading futures, I need my
Wi-Fi.
So I got nothing to lose and Iwasn't getting anywhere with him
, even though I'm presenting mycase absolutely perfectly.
I mean, my dad, who was anattorney, would be very proud
with what I was doing rightthere, I'm sure, and I was
handling all of his objectionsand questions and everything
(35:38):
like that very calmly and coolly, and I noticed that I was just
kept, I was just not gettinganywhere.
So I was just like you knowwhat, I'm gonna do it, james I,
I want to do you a favor.
I'm just gonna go fuck myselfmyself.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And see he's got a story to tell now too.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Oh, I assure you, it would not shock me in the least
if that like got got out, gotreleased.
And if it did get out it becamea viral thing.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Well, now they might add that to the script.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Here's's what you do if, well, exactly, exactly, yeah
, see, that's the thing.
Is he?
These people are all trainedfor every scenario, yeah, and he
got hit with something theynever saw.
So now they, they got to kickthat thing back to the main
office and they'd be going okay,what do we do?
If they they, why don't I justgo fuck myself?
(36:37):
Okay, and they send out thatlittle addendum that these
customer service reps have toput in their little three ring
binder.
All right, everybody read thisreally quick.
Okay, before we go on tonightwe got a new scenario the go
fuck myself scenario.
Go Right scenario.
(37:13):
The go fuck myself scenario.
Right, yes, definitely, yeah,yeah, I, I I just totally have
my antenna out so I can use itagain.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just, I'mjust looking to be, and you know
it almost, it almost happened.
It almost happened when I tookthe boys out to eat.
Oh, you know, because we wentto.
It's a hamburger and custardplace, let's call it.
Let's call it Teddy's.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
OK, all right, teddy's, I'm familiar call it
teddy's.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Okay, all right, teddy's, I'm familiar, okay, um,
so you know, when you orderyour hamburger basket and your
you know your custard you havethe option of holding the
custard until after you're donewith the hamburger meal oh, I
didn't know that yeah, yeah, youdon't have to get it all at
once because it gets all melty,right.
So I walked over and handed ourticket.
You know, me and the boys, wewanted our custard because we
(38:01):
just finished our delicioushamburger and french fries and
um.
So she said okay.
And you know I went becausethey'll call you out on the
intercom when it's done and Inoticed that two people had at
that went up there after me, kev, um, they had gotten their
customers custard prior to me,oh yeah.
(38:23):
So I was like, oh man, can Iemploy the why don't I just go
fuck myself strategy here?
I'm serious.
I started walking.
I got up from the booth, youknow, because you wait too long
with a third grade and an eighthgrade son.
(38:44):
Yeah, that's not good, that'sticking time bomb, exactly
because you know now they're alittle agitated.
So they're going after eachother a little bit.
You know, yeah, there's alittle bit of that brotherly, uh
love happening.
You know, I'm saying I do anduh.
So I stood up and I was like,oh, here we go, I'm gonna, I'm
gonna hit him with it.
You know, hey, I, I just Ithought of it as I was walking
(39:07):
up there.
I was like, hey, I noticed thatyou know you're passed over 139
and went to 141 and 144 beforeme, even though they handed
their ticket in afterwards.
I'll tell you what I'm justgoing to be in the corner over
here fucking myself.
What do you think of that?
I'm just going to fuck myself.
But, kev, I didn't get anopportunity to employ it because
(39:34):
as soon as I got up there, Inoticed that three were laid out
.
Oh, all right I?
I think that they knew what wascoming oh, they probably sensed
it, yeah well, yeah, becausesuddenly not only was you know
the uh, the custard lady on it,but I noticed they pulled a guy
off of the fries to come overand really literally double time
get thing going.
(39:55):
They had two people working onher Sundays.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
They probably had James from AT&P call him up and
say, hey, this guy comes up andsays give him his custard.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
The manager takes the call.
Hey, this is James from AT&P.
I'm telling you, if you don'tget him his custard, he's going
to go fuck himself in the corner.
(40:30):
That's funny I kind of.
But yeah, in all honesty, I Ifeel a little bit robbed of my
opportunity to employ that.
I mean because I noticed themanager was in the corner.
I was like, oh, because I'mgoing to do this in front of the
manager too, I'm going to do itto the custard lady, but the
manager will hear it and I'dimagine when he hears a customer
saying, hey, I'm just going togo fuck myself, he's going to be
(40:55):
there whipping out freebiecoupons, of course, like crazy,
to chill the situation.
No, sir, excuse me, sir, please, we, we clearly don't have a
sign, because we neveranticipated that you're not
allowed to fuck yourself in thisrestaurant, kev, kev.
I'd imagine that the next timethat I would come back to the
(41:28):
restaurant, there would be asign saying no shoes, no shirt,
no fucking yourself.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I was thinking the same thing Right next to the
door.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Oh shit, you got a picture of a shirt, you got
pictures of shoes, you got apicture of like some fucking
self-fornication going on,please.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
It's like a guy with carpal tunnel.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
And then, yeah, six months later there's new
legislation in the Texaslegislature.
They're calling it the TimTuttle law.
Texas residents are no longerallowed to fuck themselves in
public.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
In your house all day , long In public?
No, yeah, that's awesome.
I'm so sorry man.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
I'm so sorry man, that's funny.
Anyway, Kev, I got to tell youthis and again it comes to.
You know you get to our age,you do a lot of thinking.
You know you really ruminateover stuff, yeah, and I'm
(42:56):
driving in a neighborhood nearbyus and I noticed, like every
like 50 feet or so, there's aspeed bump every 50 feet.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
There are a lot of kids in that neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Well, what I learned, what I learned afterwards was,
I guess last summer somebody wasspeeding through there and hit
a kid, killed a kid.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Oh geez, yeah, I can see why they would put the speed
bumps.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Yeah, well, it was.
You know, every 50 feet, though, man, you know the HOA, you
know they.
They got all that.
They got all that, that, thatmoney burning a hole in their
pocket and they have all thatpower, so they decided to like,
really overcook it.
In regards to the speed bumps,I think you know they're they're
going to have some issues withsome vehicles transmissions,
(43:43):
because it's like everywhere andit's tough to see at night and
there's probably new people thatcome in and go.
You know they don't see itcoming.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Are they high?
Are they?
Are they really yeah?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
they're really high and they're unmarked and and
only that kev.
But I also thought did the hoathink about the family of the,
the poor little guy that gottaken out last summer?
All because whenever they driveover the speed bumps, they're
going to be reminded exactlyevery single time they come into
(44:14):
the neighborhood or leave theneighborhood, they miss junior a
little bit yeah, you know, I'msaying oh yeah, no, I, I'm
following you, you didn't thinkabout that, you know, you didn't
think.
I mean just yeah, put a quick I.
It would have been much easier,much less expensive.
You know, just put a littleplaque, uh, next to junior's
favorite swing set in theplayground area, there, you know
(44:36):
, I'm saying well, but I thinkit's a safety thing, it's not
just a memorialization.
No, kev, you think that speedbumps solve the problem.
But again, not only are thesespeed bumps every 50 feet,
they're tough to see at night,so if you're at night you're
screwed, but they also haveenough space between them where
(44:57):
you could just speed rightthrough them oh, okay yeah, it's
what it's.
Some of those it's like a very,very poorly constructed
situation.
Oh, you know, I'm saying yeah,yeah, they just didn't think
this thing through and I justthink that the memorial plaque,
you know, would have been a muchbetter, don't you?
I mean, I would, I would ratherthan in the neighborhood, just
(45:18):
like looking at me funny everytime there's a community pool
event or a block party orsomething like that, because,
you know, now they have to gettheir shocks, like booked at
every six months, because thefucking speed bumps, you know,
because maybe they, um, theydidn't do a good job as parents
watching their kids.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I'm not you know, not casting aspersions, just you
know.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I'm just saying they could have had a nice little
moment every time they went bythe swing sets with the other
kids that they have who now arereally being closely watched.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Oh yeah, I'm following you, I'mfollowing you.
Okay, yeah, so yeah, and justseriously, if you, uh, if uh,
motocross riders are using yourstreet to get whoop-dee-doo,
practice your speed bumps are alittle bit too big oh yeah, let
me tell you, and you know, inthe days that did you have a
dirt bike when you were growingup I rode a 50.
(46:09):
I didn't.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
It wasn't mine, it was our neighbors man, not a 50
I had, you know, uh, a neighborwith a dirt bike Were you.
Were you the one with a littlemini bikes?
Speaker 2 (46:21):
The little is that you, I had oh my God, the pocket
bike.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
That was so awesome.
Yeah, they were great, god,that was about 20, 25 years ago.
Okay, that was a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yeah, it was about 2003, 2004.
Cause remember, when I beatJimmy Phil runner, he ran half
of the building and I ran thewhole thing.
That was awesome.
Yeah, that was a fun thing.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
But I remember the dirt bikes.
I love riding dirt bikes, man.
Yeah, I love jumping shit.
Did you ever notice that weused to do like dangerous stuff,
particularly without helmets?
And they don't?
I don't.
I don't see kids jump likeramps anymore, do you?
No?
No, man, kev I I remember andthis is like you know late 70s,
(47:04):
early 80s.
I mean you couldn't go a weekwithout you know some kid in the
neighborhood getting the woodout, getting their dad's hammer
nails out and constructing aramp so we could jump our bikes.
That's right, we would alwaysdo that, always yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
It was never a when.
If it was always a when whatwas that?
The kenevil effect, kev thatwas big time evil.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Kenevil effect okay, that was evil, that we just
wanted to be evil kenevil.
Yeah, yeah, like.
And he was huge when we werelittle kids.
I mean, he was just his king'sisland jump.
I'll never forget it.
I was like I so want to do thattomorrow.
Mom, that's my new.
That's going to be.
I love baseball and I know I'mgood at it, but I want to be the
Evel Knievel and she's likebullshit.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
But this generation has Travis Pastrana, who's a
much bigger motorcycle jumperthan was Evel Knievel bigger
motorcycle jumper than was evilkenevil.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Then why aren't kids out here like uh constructing?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
ramps and stuff and jumping.
I don't see it well, becauseisn't it illegal for kids to
have fun now?
Speaker 1 (48:08):
that's right, I forgot yeah it's either that, or
are these like publicskateboard parks and stuff like
that?
Is that enough of an adrenaline?
Speaker 2 (48:16):
because we didn't have the public skateboard parks
, we used to have to do our ownshit, like at the school, on the
railings and stuff like thatyeah, I don't know that there
are quite a few, uh, of thoseskate parks that have opened up,
but no, I I just think thatit's over protection.
It really is, it's overprotection.
You know, we don't want thekids get get hurt anymore, you
(48:38):
know.
But I mean, you put a helmet ona kid, they might get a little
bit more dangerous, they mightget a little bit more aggressive
than if they don't have ahelmet on.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Kevin, let me tell you this, and this is legit what
we did, we there was a, anapartment complex Right next to
where we lived, an apartmentcomplex right next to where we
lived, and they had thosecarports.
You know those as a flatcarport that vehicles would park
under right, and it was about10 feet off the ground and you
(49:09):
know you'd have one carport andthen, you know, 10 feet next to
it, 20 feet next to it orwhatever it was, it'd be another
one, and so on and so forth.
We used to lift our BMX bikesup there, okay, and then a small
ramp to get a little bit of air, and we would be on top of the
carports riding our bikes asfast as we can, getting some air
(49:30):
, and jumping over the 10 feetof space to get to the next
carport, like and parents wouldwalk out.
You know, kev, they'd walk,they'd have their pats, blue
ribbon, smoking, their Marlborolight or whatever, and be like
man.
It looks fun.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Yeah, they're judging style points down from below.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Oh yeah, you know, hey, look what Timmy is doing.
This is great.
Timmy, timmy, do it again.
That shit is greatmy, timmy, doit again, that shit is great.
And you know, and that guy waslike an emt driver, you know,
uh-, huh, yeah, that's great,man, that's really really cool.
All right, now can't do thatshit, did you?
Speaker 2 (50:11):
ever do things off of your roof like what we have.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Yeah anytime I had a chance, anytime I had a chance.
I would hope that if we threw aFrisbee or something like that,
that it would get up there so Icould like climb up there and
get the item I mean there were.
I'm going to be honest now, Iprobably shouldn't say this.
There'd be a few times a while.
On purpose put the Frisbee upthere just so I could climb up.
(50:37):
Purpose put the frisbee put thefrisbee up there just so I
could climb up, particularlywhen, uh, um, the cute girl a
grade older than me she livedacross the street.
I mean she was out walking thedog or out in front or something
like that.
I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna showher how cool I am, I'm gonna
climb on my roof you know, Iknow, yeah, that the roof was a
big deal.
I don't see people on roofs atall.
(50:59):
No, Not anymore.
Nope.
Are they having Kev?
Is this like overprotectiveparents?
Or they just have everythingthey need right there on that
screen?
They don't give a fuck aboutanything else.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Could be a little of both.
Yeah, I mean the the screentime is really a factor.
Yeah, screen time is really afactor or is it me?
Speaker 1 (51:23):
you know, maybe because health care is just so
ridiculous now, like it is justso insanely expensive, whereas
you know back then, you know,you, you go, you break your arm.
You set the, it'd be like 19bucks.
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah, not anymore.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
Now you break the arm , set the yeah, that's $487 a
month for the next 12 months.
Right, you know that could beit too right.
Yeah, things have definitelygotten more expensive, for sure.
Okay, kev, let's talk about howlong are we into this thing?
(51:59):
I have no clue whatsoever.
About 50 minutes.
All right, we got to do somestuff here real quick.
Okay, let's talk about ourrabbit holes.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Rabbit hole of the week.
Speaker 1 (52:13):
What did you find yourself getting into that you
struggled to get out of In termsof rabbit holes this past week?
Kevin.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Silly dog videos.
You know like little dogs thatget excited that it's walk time.
Or I love videos of huskiestalking and you know talking
back about their food and stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
Wait a minute.
Okay.
Is it them just like barkingback, or have they overdubbed
voices?
Speaker 2 (52:39):
No, no, no, it's just I'm going yeah, yeah, like
they're howling and stuff.
Oh man, huskies have such greatattitudes.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
Okay, so is it?
Is there specifically a Huskychannel or something?
Speaker 2 (52:52):
Uh, there are numerous uh people who have
Huskies, that film them and havetheir own YouTube channels.
Yes, yeah, I think the one iscalled Zeus the Husky.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Zeus.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Come on, get out of the bathtub.
Come on, come on.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Do you want to go for a walk?
Speaker 2 (53:26):
I like huskies.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
Oh, they're beautiful man that because there's a
couple huskies in theneighborhood they got,
particularly when they havethose blue eyes.
Yeah, those are beautiful dogs.
Yep, it just looks like to me,um, that they're really, really
hot, and every time I pass them,you know they're looking at me
like I should be living inalaska or something like that.
(53:48):
Why am I here in houston?
Speaker 2 (53:49):
yeah, they don't say they're a cold weather dog for
sure.
We have, uh, the trail that Irun behind our house, there's a
lady who walks a Husky I don'tknow if it's hers or if she's
just the dog walker, and I'llsee her in the summer and I'll
be like, oh, she doesn't like it.
Huh, I saw her the other day.
It was like 30 degrees and thatdog just was like wagging its
tail, like loving life.
Speaker 1 (54:10):
Yeah, yeah, because that's where they're supposed to
be.
Yeah, I just don't think thatthat aren't they Siberian
Huskies that, yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Siberian Huskies.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Isn't Siberia like one of the coldest places on the
planet?
Speaker 2 (54:24):
Well, yes, that in Antarctica.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
Yeah, why is?
Why do people have them inHouston?
Speaker 2 (54:29):
I don't know.
I mean Siberia is Russia too.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
I mean, why are we importing them?
I know, are we sure we cantrust them?
Speaker 2 (54:36):
Right yeah, I know, are we sure we can trust him?
Right, yeah, had a husky oncethat was hacking my computer.
Speaker 1 (54:43):
You know, you walk in from a day's work or running
errands or something like that,and you notice your Siberian
husky Net.
Net, here he is.
Here he is.
I will talk to you later.
Net, here, he is.
Here he is.
Net, I will talk to you later.
(55:06):
Net, net, hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
Oh, he's serving up a nice bowl full of borscht for
you.
Speaker 1 (55:19):
Bell, did you get the vodka this time?
Stoli, I like Stoli.
That just to me.
That to me is the voice ofSiberian Husky would have if
they talked Stoli.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
What was the, the uh?
What was the Russian couple inthe cartoon?
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Yeah, I know who you're talking about Boris, and
Boris and Natasha.
Speaker 2 (55:45):
Yeah, Natasha, that's it.
Yeah, it sounds like Boris.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
And here we are.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
Yes, I am stationed in the sea turtle house how
funny.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
Oh no, everything's cool man, Everything's Green Bay
Packers, Green Bay Packers.
Speaker 2 (56:10):
Wouldn't they be partial to the Cincinnati Reds?
I see what you did there, Gav.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
It's a communist joke .
Yes, it is.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
I love what you did there, thank you.
Thank you, it's a communistjoke yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
I love what you did there.
Um, hey, cav, I got caught in arabbit hole and I'm just going
to tell you about it, and I wantyou to promise me that you will
never, ever get caught in arabbit hole of people who get
stuck in tight tunnels whenthey're caving.
(56:43):
No, no, and specificallyanybody that is listening or
watching this, do not, under anycircumstances, look up the
Nutty Putty incident in Utah.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
Don't look it up.
Well, now you know we're goingto Don't don't, don't.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
That was one of the most frightening accounts of
claustrophobia that I have evereven heard of in my life.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
The Nutty Putty.
Speaker 1 (57:16):
Yeah, I'm going to give you the broad strokes.
So you don't, please again,please don't look this up.
Don't look up n-u-t-t-y,p-u-t-t-y incident give us the
broad strokes go ahead.
Well, it's, it's, it's a mormonguy and his and his brother it's
in Mormon guy and his brotherit's in Utah and their thing is
(57:40):
they like to go in these tunnelsand these really thin tunnels
and explore them Like shit thatthey can barely fit.
And they've had no problemsdoing it for years.
They go in and whatever, untilthat one day one of the brothers
went a little too far down atunnel that had not been okayed
(58:01):
and cleared and he made a wrongturn down and he got stuck.
Yeah, is like doing a headstandin a tight tunnel and it's
(58:25):
getting tighter because his bodyweight is pushing him further
in the tunnel.
His brother and numerous uh um,rescue people could not even
pull him out because he gottight, so he just had to sit
there for 48 hours and dieslowly, oh my.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
God.
Speaker 1 (58:45):
They could not do a thing for him, Kev.
They tried everything to gethim out of there.
The more they tried, the morestuck he got.
Yeah yeah, sure.
And can you imagine the conceptof I can't move it?
I can't, I can barely breathe,and it's getting worse by the
minute for 48 hours.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
Yeah, not a place I want to be holy shit, kev.
Speaker 1 (59:10):
Can you imagine, you know, and they're, they're, uh,
they're, uh you putting a phonedown there near him where he
could talk to his wife and saygoodbye, and all that shit?
Wow, yeah, because theycouldn't do anything about it.
Speaker 2 (59:25):
If you're going to do stuff like that, don't you
think that I mean a contingencyplan would be to at least take a
gun with bullets in it, in casesomething like that happens,
where you don't have to die anagonizing and excruciating death
?
Speaker 1 (59:37):
I kev.
I actually thought about thatis like, because it seemed like
after about 36 hours ofintensive work of trying to get
the guy out of there, I mean,why did he have to suffer the
other 12?
yeah you know, I, I would havebeen like to my brother, I I've
been like you know what you needto do.
You know what you need to do,but they can't do that.
(01:00:02):
And then, not only that, kev,he was so stuck that they could
not get his body out and theyjust closed off that cave and
he's stuck in there forever.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Well, that was one thing that I was thinking about
was going back to our previousconversation.
At least you don't have toworry about a funeral.
Oh my God, it's great.
Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Kevin with the recall moment there you go, there you
go yeah can you imagine he'slike talking to the rescue guys
going come on, man, you gotsomething here, don't you?
And you know hours later?
Okay, I tell you what guys.
(01:00:56):
Why don't you?
And you know hours later.
Okay, I tell you what guys.
Why don't I just go fuck myself?
Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
that's called.
That's called double recall.
You just have you just had ayes.
Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Yes, that's called double recall.
You just had a Tuttle Inclinepatented double recall moment.
Tell future generations whatyou heard here today.
All right, kev, I got to wrapit up.
I have not gotten a setup.
Today, I got to make some money.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Of course you do know that a rescuer with any assault
would have said looks like youalready did.
Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Hey, I don't want to rub any salt into any wounds
there.
Your own dick has been up yourown ass for the last 30 hours,
buddy, for the last 30 hours,buddy, god.
Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
And then he's going literally All right, I got to go
Kev, yeah, later.
That's it for this episode ofthe Tuttle Cline Show.
See you this Wednesday for anall-new episode and thanks for
listening to the Tuttle ClineShow.
Yo, all right, take the yo out.
Welcome to the Tuttle and Klein Show Put my life into
pieces.
Is this the last resort, papa?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Roach.
Oh yeah, buddy.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
From the golden age Kev.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Oh yes, the golden age.
The golden age, how you beenman.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I've been doing great man.
How about you?
Everything good.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, yeah, things are great.
We're going to be snowed in forthe next three days.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah, that's some rough winter you're having,
right there, man, I know.
After we get done recording here, I'm actually going to go out
and run six miles in it, so Ican't wait.
Nice, yeah, yeah, yeah, nice,yeah.
Audrey was um, because you know, the league one volleyball had
their big tournament in kansascity, so audrey was like, hey,
(00:56):
it's 19 degrees, this sucks.
I hate this.
I'm like boy houston blood.
It's hard, isn't it?
It's tough.
Did it take you a while to getused to it again?
Because you know, you did.
You know, 16 years in Houston.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, it did.
Actually, it took me a reallylong while, like I started
running again in February ofthis year, just so you know this
month and we've had really,really cold weather the last two
weeks and it takes me about.
It took me about three days toreally get used to it.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Now, when you say run again, is this, um, you know
something where you got anothergoal in mind now?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
I do, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know howseriously I'm going to explore
it, but yeah, I mean I'm runningto.
You know, I'm training foranother 100 miler.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Nice yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, so that's what's going on here.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I've added to my cardio.
I'll just do like random, youknow, 100 yard sprints.
How are your knees feeling Tomy fast walking?
They're good, they're okay.
Yeah, they're okay.
You know I'll feel it a littlebit.
You know that.
(02:11):
You know you'll feel I'll feelit a little bit.
You know that's the thing.
Anything you do when you get toour age, you feel it.
Later you do, yep, you feel it.
You know like.
You know I had, uh, the boysthis weekend and you know timmy
is wanting to get in shape.
Timmy's like I got to get readyfor baseball season.
You know, let's go get in shape.
You know, let's go hit, get onthe treadmill.
Let's go walk around theneighborhood, let's go throw the
ball.
You know, show me techniquesfor running the bases, all that
stuff.
So yeah, I dropped him offyesterday because they had the
(02:34):
extended weekend, the three-dayweekend, because of the holiday,
and I'm driving back and I'mgoing dang man, I love the boy
and I miss him, but I need abreak.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Hey, you know talking about Little League baseball.
You know when you played LittleLeague growing up in Shorewood,
wisconsin wasn't at the startof the season, was it cold for
you?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Oh, kev, you know, I remember some days where we had
snow, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, Last week the temperature, the high
temperature here, was 32 degreesand our local, one of our local
colleges, Evangel, had a homegame.
And I'm like man, I don't missthat crap at all.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, the cold weather stuff.
I mean, you just had to do it,Kev.
I remember playing footballgames in November where you know
you can feel the snot freezingup, Uh-huh, you know, you
remember that when you go out ona really cold, cold weather day
, the snot freezing up.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, I played a soccer game like that.
There was ice on the field.
We played with ice on the field.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I loved it.
I loved it.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I hated hitting in that cold, though I mean that
just stings your hands, See, Ijust remember football and I
remember just like you justwanted to go hit somebody so bad
, Because as soon as you hitsomebody, it was like a magical
thing, Like all the ice that youhad gathered on you mentally
just broke away and you're like,okay, now let's go.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Let's go, that adrenaline will warm you up.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, yeah, and you don't want any timeouts, you
don't want any extended anything.
Well, let's go, let's go, let'sgo.
The worst is when they calltimeout and I'll be like, oh
shit, they call the timeout,let's sip some gate.
Oh, the Gatorade's fuckingfrozen, damn it.
(04:26):
I was like, damn it, all right,let's chew on some.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Gatorade and get back into this.
Yeah, no, we're supposed to getupwards of 13 inches of snow
today.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Dang man, that's ridiculous.
Yeah, yeah, do you do theshoveling or do you have a
machine?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
No, I shovel.
That's a great workout.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
See, todd and I.
You know Todd.
As a matter of fact, toddhimself, he like bought snow
blowers, oh really.
So when we were in Wisconsin,he's like I'm going to make some
cake today, baby, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
He would just go from one neighbor to the other.
You know he would get done, andhe'd go knock on the door and
be like you want me to take careof this for you Probably had
that thing paid off by one sideof the uh division.
Yeah, todd was industrious.
Me, though, I would make surethat he did ours first so I
could play basketball while hedid that.
There you go.
Yeah, priorities, buddy,because that was that.
(05:15):
Was that at the time, kev,where I all I wanted to do was
shoot hoops you?
know, yeah, shoot hoops andwatch espn.
This new fangled thing, thisbrand new thing, kev out of
nowhere with this Chris Bermanguy and Dick Vitale and stuff
like that, where collegebasketball games run every
single day, sometimes two orthree in one day and they panned
(05:40):
over to show a shot of RupertMurdoch, and Kevin Burkhart, who
was the lead play-by-play guy,said yeah, there's Rupert
Murdoch, the guy who founded ournetwork.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Do you remember when Fox first came on the air?
They were a laughingstock.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
They were until they got the Simpsons.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, longest running show on TV still.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Yeah, married with children.
In the Simpsons they were ajoke.
They were like what is thisshit man?
You're trying to actually beone of the networks.
But I think a lot of that waslike the networks trying to
throw that out there.
They're like who is this?
And then they get the Simpsons.
They're like uh-oh.
And then they get the marriedwith children.
(06:20):
They're like uh-oh, and thenAmerica's.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Most Want, wanted and shit like that.
Yeah, yeah, they're like badboys, bad boys, cops, what you
gonna do.
And it's like oh, look out,they're a player and then
they're going.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You know, they got their nfl games, now they got
major league baseball I thinkthat was the death knell right
there, as soon as they were likeyou know, we got enough money,
let's go ahead and make a pitchfor the nfl.
And then nfl started being, youknow, nbc.
Got fucking wiped out, Iremember that from the, uh, from
the nfl games yeah, I rememberthat that was great cool.
So what's?
I?
Mean, what's happening atcavity?
(06:56):
I I the only thing that I haveheard of over the past week.
I mean, I'm, I, I can't go onsocial media anymore, just it.
There's just so much stupidity,there's just so much idiocy.
I I do not watch the, uh, thenews at all.
It's just propaganda and itjust boils my blood.
It's just ridiculous.
So, uh, this is where you comein and you know, kind of remind
(07:21):
me of the shit that I'm missing.
The one thing I did hear aboutwas the USA versus Canada
all-star hockey brawl, becausethe Canadians were booing our
national anthem.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah, not the first time they've done that in a
public event since Trump leviedsome tariffs.
So yeah, they were playing inMontreal the other night and
it's part of the Four Nations.
Okay, so the Four Nations is ahockey tournament with the USA,
canada, finland and Sweden, andthe USA was up against Canada
and I mean those are the twopowerhouses in the world and we
(07:57):
got booed during the AmericanNational Anthem, during the
American national Anthem.
So the Kachuk brothers, uh anduh, somebody else decided that
they were going to fight threeCanadian guys before, before the
first minute of the gamestarted.
So within nine seconds therewere three fights.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
That's so awesome.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, yeah, uh, by the way, the USA one.
And now they will play Canada,uh, tomorrow, which?
This is released on Wednesday.
They play them on Thursday forthe Four Nations Cup winner, but
that one, oh, that's great,yeah, but that one's in Boston.
So I can't imagine how badlywe're going to retaliate against
the Canadians for doing ouranthem.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Let's sharpen those blades, baby.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, so Matthew Kachuk and Brady Kachuk, I
believe, are the brothers.
They're sons of Keith Kachuk,who is a big-time NHLer who
played for the St Louis Blues,and the Kachuk brothers are from
St Louis.
They were born in St Louis, soyou know who's the guy that
(09:04):
plays basketball for the Celticsthe really good guy, tall.
That narrows it down?
Yeah, it does.
I can't remember his name, ohTatum.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Tatum.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah, so guess who?
Matthew Kachuk and Jason Tatumused to ride the bus together to
middle school Talk about great,they're best friends.
They're best friends, they'regreat friends.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
That's so funny man.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And they won.
Kachuk won the Stanley Cup thesame year that Tatum won the NBA
trophy and they took it totheir high school.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
That is so fucking crazy man, isn't it?
I love it.
I love it.
And, kev, let me talk to ourcanadian friends if I could real
quick.
Sure listen, this has nothingto do with you.
The american people lovecanadian people.
You're so nice, you know.
You're like.
You know we want to pet yourhead that makes me feel great I
(10:01):
just I like canadian they're.
It has nothing to do with youand all it is is about fairness.
All this is is, whatever yourcountries have been charging us,
we're going to charge you.
It's the same thing.
You still want to contend youwith the unfair shit of?
(10:25):
You're going to hit us with an18% tariff, but we can't hit you
with a tariff.
How is that bad?
It's how it always should havebeen.
I don't know what situationwe're in Kev, where our idiot,
corrupt, criminal, blackmailedpoliticians made the decision of
okay, we're going to make ourcompanies pay that much tariff,
but not charge their countrytariff.
(10:47):
You know, those people should beindicted just for that.
You know, all this is is evenwe just want shit even.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
But see, I think what you just did was fell into the
trap too.
It's not about a hockey gameanymore, it's about politics.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
It's just a hockey game, I know I know, but the
media drums this shit up, yeahwell, that's why you don't watch
it.
Yeah, you don't understand thatyou're playing into their hands.
The media is your mortal enemy.
They're the enemy of the people, the enemy of the Constitution,
the enemy of your freedoms.
The enemy of the constitution,the enemy of your freedoms, the
(11:26):
enemy of your rights.
They work for billionairecontrol freaks who consider us a
virus.
Remember that that's who theywork for.
They're trying to divide us.
We got to rise above it andrealize what it is.
That's what it is.
You know.
Play hockey.
You know.
Don't worry about any otherbullshit.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Let me ask you this, because you mentioned that you
know we're getting levied at an18% tariff when we send stuff to
Canada.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I just threw out that number.
I don't know what the exactnumber is.
Okay, but we are getting taxed,yes, our company, our companies
have to pay a tariff, a tax, toship our goods into Canada,
into Mexico, into Europeannations, and they don't pay
anything.
And we're the biggest market inthe world.
You don't survive or go bigwithout the American consumer.
(12:16):
Okay, and finally we get someguy in there going, hey, let's
just make shit even.
And everybody freaks out.
And they're going, hey, let'sjust make shit even, and
everybody freaks out.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
So if I mean I guess I know the answer to this
question, but OK, if, if theydropped their taxes on our stuff
, we wouldn't have to increaseour taxes on their stuff, but
then they would be losing out onmuch needed money.
Is that that what the deal is?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
And the thing about Canada is we just give them
money anyway.
So we give them tariff, youknow, revenue and we give the
supply them aid, which is why,you know, if you look at it,
trump was when he said, hey,let's just make them the 51st
state.
They technically already are.
Because of what we do for them,we protect them Nobody there.
Because of what we do for them,we protect them, nobody.
(13:04):
You're never going to seeanybody invade Canada because
we'll blow their fucking shit up.
We will, you know.
So, technically, canadians, youalready are okay.
Just relax, you know.
Sip a Molson, you know.
Get some of your maple syrupgoing and chill out, watch some
(13:26):
great hockey.
That's what it's all about,okay.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
We got this.
While we're on the topic ofCanada, did you see that Delta
airlines crash at Torontointernational airport yesterday
Is?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
that crazy or what I cannot believe.
Nobody got like seriously, likehurt Like nobody died and only
two people were.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I mean, only I mean two people were.
I mean only I mean two peoplewere critically injured and had
to be a helicopter to thehospital.
They're expected to be okay, Ithink, but uh, yeah, uh, it
flipped over on its roof, it wasupside down.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Crazy man, yeah, why you don't land in snow kev, let
me tell you this I I will becompletely honest with you.
I would occasionally you know Iwould cheat and drop the seat
belt.
You know I will never do thatagain.
I will keep that seat belt onuntil we're idling in the
(14:18):
fucking hangar and or uh on theuh, on the uh terminal now I am
very curious to well.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I mean, I know what you're going to say on this, but
we were talking earlier, alittle bit ago, about freedoms
and all that kind of stuff.
Did you see what they're doingover in Germany?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
No, what are they doing in Germany?
Jesus, here we go.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
German officials of the country's government have
initiated a nationwide crackdownon offensive speech, trying to
bring some civility to the WorldWide Web.
They are literally country'sgovernment have initiated a
nationwide crackdown onoffensive speech, trying to
bring some civility to theworldwide web.
They are literally going doorto door.
If they, if they follow your IPaddress and you have posted
something unsavory, they'regoing to your door and raiding
your house.
This was on 60 minutes theother night.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
That sounds very Nazi .
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Doesn't it though.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
That, that, that fourth.
We got a fourth right goinghere, Kev.
Is that the deal?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
We might be.
I mean, it says they believethat they're raiding homes of
those believed to be makingoffensive statements online.
They're following the IPaddresses.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
German people, just like you know other countries
that are under that control.
Freak, sicko, sociopath,psychotic, communist, socialist,
whatever you want to call it.
You got to fight, you got tofight.
I mean, they're basicallyputting you against the wall.
You've got to fight for yourrights and your freedoms.
You just do.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And to party.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, and don't forget you got to fight for your
right to party.
And plus, don't forget, you gotto fight for your right to
party.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Yeah, we've known that for a long time.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
All right Since 1986, we've known this.
You got to fight.
We're doing a beastie Kev.
You got a clip here.
Are we even allowed to playthis?
We're not going to play theBeastie Boys, we're going to
play Travis Kelsey doing it,because now I know we can get
away with that.
Yeah, we could do that one.
Okay, you got to fight for yourright to party.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
You know how you're always saying it is not the
car's fault, it is the person'sfault.
So, ladies, don't go exactrevenge on a guy's car.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you never see, I got uh freaked
out by that whole.
Uh, you know carrie underwoodsong about you know tearing up
the truck yeah you don't do that.
You don't you not blame thevehicle for the, the guy?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
you don't do that well, this lady didn't get the
memo, timmy, and her mug shotsgoing viral.
I think I sent it to youbecause everybody thinks she's
the most beautiful woman in theworld and so they're offering to
pay her bond and all that stuff.
What she did was she went overto her ex-boyfriend's house and
put Coke Zero and sucked onSkittles in his gas tank.
She got arrested for that.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Let me look at her Kev wow.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I could fix her here.
She is on the screen right now,timmy, it's your.
You've always said it, thoughshe is pretty enough to have
never had to deal with adversitythat's kev.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That is an issue.
Some women are so hot they'venever had any adversity
whatsoever and as soon as theycome across some, they overdo it
, they overcook it, they freakthe out.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Don't you see, in her eyes there's a little bit of
crazy?
Oh, totally.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
But there's a little bit of fun in there too.
I mean I just Kev.
You know it would probably costme six, maybe low seven figures
in the end, but God dang,sometimes it's worth it.
Maybe low seven figures in theend, but god dang, sometimes
it's worth it.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Do not let me do that shit again, kev.
No, I will not.
I will not.
I'm putting my foot down rightnow you have to step in.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
You.
You have the complete rights tostep in and go.
No, no, you're not buying her aring.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
and uh, that's not the only uh story.
Uh, in the news about jiltedlovers, ex-lovers 21-year-old
Michigan man he drove 700 milesto light his ex-girlfriend's
house on fire because, well, nothis ex-girlfriend's house on
fire, the guy that was talkingto her online his house on fire,
yeah, while his whole familywas in there.
(18:24):
Hey, that's not, uh, his fault,that's your, you got your, it's
your girl yeah, exactly so, uh,anyway, uh, all six people
escaped, but the two pets wereburned alive.
Yeah, I know right.
So he's, uh, he's in a world,he's in a heap of trouble yeah,
that's not good.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Yeah, no, what an asshole.
That's misdirected anger buddy,absolutely yeah, you know you
don't play.
He probably had no idea she hada boyfriend it was his ex.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
They weren't even together anymore.
What, yeah, his ex-girlfriend?
He went to the house of the guythat was talking to his
ex-girlfriend.
Dude man, you got issues yeah,there's.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
There's plenty of women out there.
Dude, now you're gonna do about30 40 years.
Yeah, here's a mugshot of womenout there.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Dude, now you're gonna do about 30 40 years yeah,
here's a mug shot of a girlthat's available apparently no
cap, she's mine she's yours,yeah, sorry she's mine.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Where, where is she and where do I bail her out?
What jail is she in?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I'll make my move there you go, so, and now you're
caught up to speed there, buddy.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Kev.
I do a lot, as you know, ofdeep thinking.
Yeah, you've always done that.
You know, especially these days,since I get a lot of time by
myself and I absolutely lovethat, gosh, I love it, kev.
There was another run-in I hadwith a lovely lady and she was
(19:48):
kind of talking to me and stufflike that, and I just totally
blew her off because I justdidn't want to go anywhere, no
way.
Yeah, I was supposed to hangout with her and I was just like
I'm not going to go.
What's wrong with me?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Unbelievable.
Yeah, just like I'm not gonnago.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
You know what's wrong with me?
Unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, I'm just like you're pulling that much wool
that you can just say, hey, youknow what?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I don't really feel like it today I, I just, yeah, I
just I'm not there, you know, Ijust I don't want to do I don't
want to do that.
I don't know about pulling wool, I just like I'm enjoying my my
time, man.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Okay, all right so are you more active now than you
were when you were in highschool and college?
What do you mean?
Active With the ladies?
Um having more opportunities.
I, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I was an idiot back then.
I mean I was fairly decentlooking after I got rid of my
bowl haircut and startedfeathering my hair back.
I was fairly decent, but I wasjust an idiot.
I didn't know how to talk tohim.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I mean, I just had no idea, I was awkward and I was
weird.
And you know, now I, just whenyou get to a point where you
just don't give a fuck andsomebody gives you that second
look, I mean I'll, I'll talk tohim.
That's probably why this stuffis happening.
You know, more than ever is aI'm available I mean I spent the
(21:14):
better part of 30 years notbeing available, you know and B
I just I, if, if I, if I seesomebody that looks good and
they look back at me, I'm goingto say something.
I just something.
I'm just going to, I'm going toput the feeler out.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
That's a high level of confidence, man.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, I just, I would just put the feeler out.
You know, and sometimes I, I, Isometimes I uh misstep.
Sometimes you know they werejust looking at me but they
didn't want anything to do withit.
They're married or somethinglike that or whatever.
Okay, but a lot of times it'slike, okay, if I wanted to
pursue that one, I know I couldget that one.
All right, you know what I'msaying.
(21:52):
Does that sound weird?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
No, not at all.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It doesn't sound weird at all.
But yeah, just you.
This is, this is a a dangeroustime, because you know I'm older
and I don't give a shit and I'm, and I'm still holding on.
I mean, I'm not like some, someugly ass dude out of shape and
shit like that, you know.
So it's a dangerous time andI'll probably be this way for a
few more years.
Nice, keep it up, man then I'llbe old and I'll be like damn it
(22:19):
.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
I should have settled down with somebody no, dude
you're, you're all taken care of.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
You got the kids you know, yeah, yeah, we're when
trish and I get old, we'rescrewed.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Man.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
No, kids, nieces and nephews can't stand us yeah, oh,
yeah, hey, yeah, and speakingof which, you know and that was
something that I was pondering alot about is the whole idea of
funerals okay um, and I just, Ijust I finally hit me.
(22:51):
I'm just like they're so stupid.
I mean, why, right?
All that all a funeral is ishey, come look at the body.
Awkward weirdness, that's whatit is, you know.
Hey, come on by, look.
Yeah, he's dead.
Now, if you need to poke him,you can poke him, but you
(23:15):
probably shouldn't because hisfamily's right there.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
but yeah, he's dead.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
That's really all it is.
And then afterwards, cav, it'sthat awkward, bring your own
dish, like little post-partyshit.
It's just always so weird.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yeah, they call it a potluck yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I don't understand it , I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I mean I think it's for the people who are still
alive.
You're supposed to go send yoursympathies and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Yeah, but I I think that don't get me wrong and I
mean you've heard me talk aboutthis before in the past.
I was like I am man, my funeralman, you're gonna play some
Zeppelin stairway in the light,you know, and everybody will
joke around, smoke a doobie orsomething like that, and just
remember you know some goodtimes that we had and shit like
(24:05):
that.
You know I was all cool likethat, like we're going to do it
Now.
I'm just like I've spent myentire life annoying the fuck
out of people.
Why would I want to annoy themagain by, you know, expecting
them to come to my funeral?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That would be the ultimate annoyance.
You know, one last time I'mgoing to get them.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
No, I would just be like I don't want to do that to
people.
I'm just I don't, I don't.
Can you do that where you like?
Demand.
Hey, I don't want any fuckingfunerals at all.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah, I mean you can, you can put that in like a
living will or something likethat.
But you know it's.
What are you going to do aboutit?
You're dead dude.
It's the people who are who aresupposed to exact or enact that
will.
It's up to them and theirdiscretion.
So I mean, my father-in-law hassaid the same thing.
He wants just a, a wooden box.
He doesn't want anybody comingover to see him.
Um, but you know, I I don'tknow if we're gonna adhere to
(24:59):
that yeah, I mean, I like my dad.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
My dad just said hey, shave my head into a point and
pound me into the ground, bedone with it.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Jeez, fred say, save the money it's the fred spike,
but those things are expensive.
Funeral.
What is funeral, are theyreally?
Oh my God, jim.
$9,000 to $12,000.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I think, oh shit, Does that include everything
like the casket and everything?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, I think so.
I mean, when my dad died 20years ago, it'll be 20 years ago
this year it was almost $5,000.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
And he burned through all the money.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
No, I paid for it.
I paid for it.
Oh, did you?
Oh, yeah, yeah, and he treatedyou like that.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Oh yeah, that was like.
Here you go, you son of a bitchNot going to be success, my ass
.
Watch this dad here.
Mr Funeral home guy, here's atip, here's a.
Take another grand.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
There you go, I'm paying to bury you.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Exactly.
Hey, I got one request Beforeyou shovel the dirt over, I get
to take a piss in there.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
No, he was buried with full military honors.
Man.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, my dad had the 21-gun salute too.
You know he was he was.
He was buried with fullmilitary honors man.
Yeah, my dad had the 21 gunsalute too.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
You know it was touching.
I mean, you know we did nothave the greatest relationship,
my father and I.
I'm learning more about himafter he's dead, about what he
actually thought about me, butyou know it was still still
touching.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, funny thing, real quick note.
Yeah, the girl that I, thewoman that I blew off I was
telling her about my disdain forfunerals, now, uh-huh, and
she's like, well, you'reprobably just worried that
nobody's going to come and youdon't want to throw it.
(26:58):
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, dude.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I'll be there.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
'll be there, assuming that I outlive you well
, that's good, because she saidshe would be there.
And now that I've blown her offI thought, oh man, now I got
nobody.
No, I, I just, I, you just lookat it, it's just, uh, it's it.
It really seems to be like anunnecessary ritual that we do.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
It is an odd thing, it is, but, like I said, I think
it's more for the people whoare alive, who are the survivors
, than it is for the dead person.
True, yeah, I mean, I don'twant one.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I don't want one, I just don't man, I don't want it
Kev, even in death?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
you don't know.
I just don't, man, I don't, Idon't want.
You know, like kev, even indeath, you don't want attention.
No, I don't and I don't want toburden people and, like you
said, you know you feelobligated to go that's the thing
is.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You know I, you know I live in houston, yeah, and my
kids don't.
You know, two of my kids don'teven live here.
Now, you know the other two arean hour away.
You know my, my, most of myfamily's either in california or
pennsylvania.
I mean, now you know the othertwo are an hour away.
You know my, my, most of myfamily's either in california or
pennsylvania.
I mean what you know, why wouldI, why would I want to do that
to them?
And you're in missouri, I meanyou probably feel obligated to
(28:10):
come.
You'd be like.
You know the houston chronicle,former radio dj dad.
You know you'd be like formerradio.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, because the newspaper never prints what is
what station you're on no, no,just the uh local radio dj local
dad.
No dude, I'd hop in thecorvette and drive right down
there.
Oh yeah, oh, hell yeah no, youwouldn't.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Yeah, I would.
No, you wouldn't.
I don't want you to man, whyguys?
I just don't, man, I don't wantanybody, I just be like all
right, you know, because to me Idon't.
You know, before you wanted toleave like a leave a legacy, you
want to leave a legacy.
Yeah, now I'm just like my kidslove their dad, that's your
(28:57):
legacy and they'll tell coolyeah to me.
That makes me immortal.
They love their dad.
And they'll tell theirgrandkids and their grandkids
that, yeah, grandpa Tim was allright yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah, I mean you have kids, that's your legacy, and I
mean your legacy is going to bephenomenal because your kids
are all upstanding, they'resuccessful, they're they're just
great kids.
So yeah, as long as the kidsaren't a fuck up, then you got a
great legacy, man.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Thank you.
Thank you, you're welcome.
I have developed the absolute,100%, perfect way to deal with
asshole like disgruntled,hateful customer service reps.
I did it, you did yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Explain the scenario please.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I will.
I will.
I want you to hear this storyand anybody can use this,
because it was the mosteffective way ever of dealing
with this shit.
Okay, I had noticed that, youknow, my phone and Wi-Fi bill
(30:12):
was getting larger and I waspuzzled about it because, you
know, within that bill, over thepast five years, I was quote
unquote paying off my iPhone.
So I was like man, after thislong, my iPhone should be
fucking paid off.
You know what I'm saying.
I do, and the price is going upon me and stuff like that.
I decided to call them Now Kev.
(30:35):
I don't want to identify them,I'll let them.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Let's just call them A T, okay, yeah, I don't know
who you're talking about there.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
We'll call them that okay, all right, yes, there they
are and you know I'm, I'mcurious about it and you know
I'm, just I'm, I decide that I'mjust gonna go in as calm, as
cool.
You know, you know my, uh, mychill voice oh, I do, I do yes.
Hey, kev, how you doing?
Hey, listen, yeah, timothyTuttle, richmond, texas.
Yeah, yeah, I was having thatchill voice.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
And this guy Kev.
It's your prototypical AT&Passhole that they love to hire
and put out on the front linescustomer asshole that they love
(31:27):
to hire and put out on the frontlines customer rep it's.
It's that typical guy.
You know, it's the kev.
It's the type of asshole thatpeople like, regular folk like
us.
We will enjoy hunting them downif there's ever a post
apocalyptic event, you know I'msaying if there's, if the purge
is legal, look out.
Exactly.
I mean, this is the type ofshit bag that we will jam an
apple in their mouth, put themover a barbecue spit and spin
(31:49):
them so cool survivors can havesome nourishment, some protein.
Okay, that guy.
Okay, it was the typical guy.
Guy, okay, it was the typicalguy.
Anyway, in response to meobviously annoying the fuck out
of him I'm just annoying himbecause I'm calm and cool and
(32:09):
I'm providing really goodnuggets of information
presenting my case I justfinally just said hey, look,
I'll tell you what.
James, with an Indian accent,why don't I just go fuck myself?
That's what I said.
Yeah, I said.
(32:30):
I said yeah, I'm going to, I'mgoing to go over to the corner
of my living room here, I'mgoing to get on the ground, I'm
going to stretch myself out,really, really good, you know.
And then I'm going to make myseven and three quarters inch
cock really hard oh shit.
And I'll do it like thinkingabout just the gorgeous,
attractive women A guy with yourpersonality probably beds all
(32:53):
the time and then I'm going to180 degree, rotate my hard penis
, shove it in my ass and I'mgoing to fuck myself, just for
you.
James Gav, yeah, that was hisresponse.
He laughed, did he?
(33:14):
Oh my God, he laughed and like30 seconds later I get not only
my original price back but 10%off of that.
And, oh yeah, next time I go toa AT&T like store, they're
going to flip out and give me anew iPhone for free Awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Boom, see, comedy works.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah, I just decided.
I was just like why don't I,hey, james, why don't I just go
fuck myself?
And that was it the whole.
I mean Kev, for a second Icould like hear him flipping,
you know, through the script,going fuck my, let me see it
right there, fuck my.
He says I'm going to go do afuck my.
We don't have anything but this.
(33:56):
How do we handle this?
Yeah, so there, it wasbeautiful so use it calf, yeah,
oh yeah, yeah.
Um, I know you sometimes haverun-ins with uh over exuberant
ass over exuberant, uhoverzealous asshole customer
service reps too oh, yeah, yeah,always leaves a bad taste in my
(34:18):
mouth but just just try and dome a favor If anybody that's
listening to this podcast orwatching it on YouTube.
If you ever employ the whydon't I just go fuck myself
strategy, let me know how itturns out that's nice you know,
yeah, you'd be curious.
Of course you would yeah, but asa matter of fact, since that
(34:40):
happened, I'm actually lookingfor scenarios where I can employ
it some more but isn't it kindof?
Speaker 2 (34:46):
it's kind of liberating to know you got
nothing to lose, so just goahead and do it, because they're
gonna railroad, they're gonna.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Yeah, see, they know because I'm in a community where
they have a monopoly.
They helped build and wire theinfrastructure for the Wi-Fi and
so they got exclusivitycontract.
So they know.
They have it tagged on theirscreen, probably going this
guy's fucked, he can't leave us,so I'm not going to go anywhere
(35:16):
.
I need my Wi-Fi for my gig manfor trading futures, I need my
Wi-Fi.
So I got nothing to lose and Iwasn't getting anywhere with him
, even though I'm presenting mycase absolutely perfectly.
I mean, my dad, who was anattorney, would be very proud
with what I was doing rightthere, I'm sure, and I was
handling all of his objectionsand questions and everything
(35:38):
like that very calmly and coolly, and I noticed that I was just
kept, I was just not gettinganywhere.
So I was just like you knowwhat, I'm gonna do it, james I,
I want to do you a favor.
I'm just gonna go fuck myselfmyself.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
And see he's got a story to tell now too.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Oh, I assure you, it would not shock me in the least
if that like got got out, gotreleased.
And if it did get out it becamea viral thing.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Well, now they might add that to the script.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Here's's what you do if, well, exactly, exactly, yeah
, see, that's the thing.
Is he?
These people are all trainedfor every scenario, yeah, and he
got hit with something theynever saw.
So now they, they got to kickthat thing back to the main
office and they'd be going okay,what do we do?
If they they, why don't I justgo fuck myself?
(36:37):
Okay, and they send out thatlittle addendum that these
customer service reps have toput in their little three ring
binder.
All right, everybody read thisreally quick.
Okay, before we go on tonightwe got a new scenario the go
fuck myself scenario.
Go Right scenario.
(37:13):
The go fuck myself scenario.
Right, yes, definitely, yeah,yeah, I, I I just totally have
my antenna out so I can use itagain.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just, I'mjust looking to be, and you know
it almost, it almost happened.
It almost happened when I tookthe boys out to eat.
Oh, you know, because we wentto.
It's a hamburger and custardplace, let's call it.
Let's call it Teddy's.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
OK, all right, teddy's, I'm familiar call it
teddy's.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Okay, all right, teddy's, I'm familiar, okay, um,
so you know, when you orderyour hamburger basket and your
you know your custard you havethe option of holding the
custard until after you're donewith the hamburger meal oh, I
didn't know that yeah, yeah, youdon't have to get it all at
once because it gets all melty,right.
So I walked over and handed ourticket.
You know, me and the boys, wewanted our custard because we
(38:01):
just finished our delicioushamburger and french fries and
um.
So she said okay.
And you know I went becausethey'll call you out on the
intercom when it's done and Inoticed that two people had at
that went up there after me, kev, um, they had gotten their
customers custard prior to me,oh yeah.
(38:23):
So I was like, oh man, can Iemploy the why don't I just go
fuck myself strategy here?
I'm serious.
I started walking.
I got up from the booth, youknow, because you wait too long
with a third grade and an eighthgrade son.
(38:44):
Yeah, that's not good, that'sticking time bomb, exactly
because you know now they're alittle agitated.
So they're going after eachother a little bit.
You know, yeah, there's alittle bit of that brotherly, uh
love happening.
You know, I'm saying I do anduh.
So I stood up and I was like,oh, here we go, I'm gonna, I'm
gonna hit him with it.
You know, hey, I, I just Ithought of it as I was walking
(39:07):
up there.
I was like, hey, I noticed thatyou know you're passed over 139
and went to 141 and 144 beforeme, even though they handed
their ticket in afterwards.
I'll tell you what I'm justgoing to be in the corner over
here fucking myself.
What do you think of that?
I'm just going to fuck myself.
But, kev, I didn't get anopportunity to employ it because
(39:34):
as soon as I got up there, Inoticed that three were laid out
.
Oh, all right I?
I think that they knew what wascoming oh, they probably sensed
it, yeah well, yeah, becausesuddenly not only was you know
the uh, the custard lady on it,but I noticed they pulled a guy
off of the fries to come overand really literally double time
get thing going.
(39:55):
They had two people working onher Sundays.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
They probably had James from AT&P call him up and
say, hey, this guy comes up andsays give him his custard.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
The manager takes the call.
Hey, this is James from AT&P.
I'm telling you, if you don'tget him his custard, he's going
to go fuck himself in the corner.
(40:30):
That's funny I kind of.
But yeah, in all honesty, I Ifeel a little bit robbed of my
opportunity to employ that.
I mean because I noticed themanager was in the corner.
I was like, oh, because I'mgoing to do this in front of the
manager too, I'm going to do itto the custard lady, but the
manager will hear it and I'dimagine when he hears a customer
saying, hey, I'm just going togo fuck myself, he's going to be
(40:55):
there whipping out freebiecoupons, of course, like crazy,
to chill the situation.
No, sir, excuse me, sir, please, we, we clearly don't have a
sign, because we neveranticipated that you're not
allowed to fuck yourself in thisrestaurant, kev, kev.
I'd imagine that the next timethat I would come back to the
(41:28):
restaurant, there would be asign saying no shoes, no shirt,
no fucking yourself.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I was thinking the same thing Right next to the
door.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Oh shit, you got a picture of a shirt, you got
pictures of shoes, you got apicture of like some fucking
self-fornication going on,please.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
It's like a guy with carpal tunnel.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
And then, yeah, six months later there's new
legislation in the Texaslegislature.
They're calling it the TimTuttle law.
Texas residents are no longerallowed to fuck themselves in
public.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
In your house all day , long In public?
No, yeah, that's awesome.
I'm so sorry man.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
I'm so sorry man, that's funny.
Anyway, Kev, I got to tell youthis and again it comes to.
You know you get to our age,you do a lot of thinking.
You know you really ruminateover stuff, yeah, and I'm
(42:56):
driving in a neighborhood nearbyus and I noticed, like every
like 50 feet or so, there's aspeed bump every 50 feet.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
There are a lot of kids in that neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Well, what I learned, what I learned afterwards was,
I guess last summer somebody wasspeeding through there and hit
a kid, killed a kid.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Oh geez, yeah, I can see why they would put the speed
bumps.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Yeah, well, it was.
You know, every 50 feet, though, man, you know the HOA, you
know they.
They got all that.
They got all that, that, thatmoney burning a hole in their
pocket and they have all thatpower, so they decided to like,
really overcook it.
In regards to the speed bumps,I think you know they're they're
going to have some issues withsome vehicles transmissions,
(43:43):
because it's like everywhere andit's tough to see at night and
there's probably new people thatcome in and go.
You know they don't see itcoming.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Are they high?
Are they?
Are they really yeah?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
they're really high and they're unmarked and and
only that kev.
But I also thought did the hoathink about the family of the,
the poor little guy that gottaken out last summer?
All because whenever they driveover the speed bumps, they're
going to be reminded exactlyevery single time they come into
(44:14):
the neighborhood or leave theneighborhood, they miss junior a
little bit yeah, you know, I'msaying oh yeah, no, I, I'm
following you, you didn't thinkabout that, you know, you didn't
think.
I mean just yeah, put a quick I.
It would have been much easier,much less expensive.
You know, just put a littleplaque, uh, next to junior's
favorite swing set in theplayground area, there, you know
(44:36):
, I'm saying well, but I thinkit's a safety thing, it's not
just a memorialization.
No, kev, you think that speedbumps solve the problem.
But again, not only are thesespeed bumps every 50 feet,
they're tough to see at night,so if you're at night you're
screwed, but they also haveenough space between them where
(44:57):
you could just speed rightthrough them oh, okay yeah, it's
what it's.
Some of those it's like a very,very poorly constructed
situation.
Oh, you know, I'm saying yeah,yeah, they just didn't think
this thing through and I justthink that the memorial plaque,
you know, would have been a muchbetter, don't you?
I mean, I would, I would ratherthan in the neighborhood, just
(45:18):
like looking at me funny everytime there's a community pool
event or a block party orsomething like that, because,
you know, now they have to gettheir shocks, like booked at
every six months, because thefucking speed bumps, you know,
because maybe they, um, theydidn't do a good job as parents
watching their kids.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I'm not you know, not casting aspersions, just you
know.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
I'm just saying they could have had a nice little
moment every time they went bythe swing sets with the other
kids that they have who now arereally being closely watched.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Oh yeah, I'm following you, I'mfollowing you.
Okay, yeah, so yeah, and justseriously, if you, uh, if uh,
motocross riders are using yourstreet to get whoop-dee-doo,
practice your speed bumps are alittle bit too big oh yeah, let
me tell you, and you know, inthe days that did you have a
dirt bike when you were growingup I rode a 50.
(46:09):
I didn't.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
It wasn't mine, it was our neighbors man, not a 50
I had, you know, uh, a neighborwith a dirt bike Were you.
Were you the one with a littlemini bikes?
Speaker 2 (46:21):
The little is that you, I had oh my God, the pocket
bike.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
That was so awesome.
Yeah, they were great, god,that was about 20, 25 years ago.
Okay, that was a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yeah, it was about 2003, 2004.
Cause remember, when I beatJimmy Phil runner, he ran half
of the building and I ran thewhole thing.
That was awesome.
Yeah, that was a fun thing.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
But I remember the dirt bikes.
I love riding dirt bikes, man.
Yeah, I love jumping shit.
Did you ever notice that weused to do like dangerous stuff,
particularly without helmets?
And they don't?
I don't.
I don't see kids jump likeramps anymore, do you?
No?
No, man, kev I I remember andthis is like you know late 70s,
(47:04):
early 80s.
I mean you couldn't go a weekwithout you know some kid in the
neighborhood getting the woodout, getting their dad's hammer
nails out and constructing aramp so we could jump our bikes.
That's right, we would alwaysdo that, always yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
It was never a when.
If it was always a when whatwas that?
The kenevil effect, kev thatwas big time evil.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Kenevil effect okay, that was evil, that we just
wanted to be evil kenevil.
Yeah, yeah, like.
And he was huge when we werelittle kids.
I mean, he was just his king'sisland jump.
I'll never forget it.
I was like I so want to do thattomorrow.
Mom, that's my new.
That's going to be.
I love baseball and I know I'mgood at it, but I want to be the
Evel Knievel and she's likebullshit.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
But this generation has Travis Pastrana, who's a
much bigger motorcycle jumperthan was Evel Knievel bigger
motorcycle jumper than was evilkenevil.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Then why aren't kids out here like uh constructing?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
ramps and stuff and jumping.
I don't see it well, becauseisn't it illegal for kids to
have fun now?
Speaker 1 (48:08):
that's right, I forgot yeah it's either that, or
are these like publicskateboard parks and stuff like
that?
Is that enough of an adrenaline?
Speaker 2 (48:16):
because we didn't have the public skateboard parks
, we used to have to do our ownshit, like at the school, on the
railings and stuff like thatyeah, I don't know that there
are quite a few, uh, of thoseskate parks that have opened up,
but no, I I just think thatit's over protection.
It really is, it's overprotection.
You know, we don't want thekids get get hurt anymore, you
(48:38):
know.
But I mean, you put a helmet ona kid, they might get a little
bit more dangerous, they mightget a little bit more aggressive
than if they don't have ahelmet on.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Kevin, let me tell you this, and this is legit what
we did, we there was a, anapartment complex Right next to
where we lived, an apartmentcomplex right next to where we
lived, and they had thosecarports.
You know those as a flatcarport that vehicles would park
under right, and it was about10 feet off the ground and you
(49:09):
know you'd have one carport andthen, you know, 10 feet next to
it, 20 feet next to it orwhatever it was, it'd be another
one, and so on and so forth.
We used to lift our BMX bikesup there, okay, and then a small
ramp to get a little bit of air, and we would be on top of the
carports riding our bikes asfast as we can, getting some air
(49:30):
, and jumping over the 10 feetof space to get to the next
carport, like and parents wouldwalk out.
You know, kev, they'd walk,they'd have their pats, blue
ribbon, smoking, their Marlborolight or whatever, and be like
man.
It looks fun.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Yeah, they're judging style points down from below.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Oh yeah, you know, hey, look what Timmy is doing.
This is great.
Timmy, timmy, do it again.
That shit is greatmy, timmy, doit again, that shit is great.
And you know, and that guy waslike an emt driver, you know,
uh-, huh, yeah, that's great,man, that's really really cool.
All right, now can't do thatshit, did you?
Speaker 2 (50:11):
ever do things off of your roof like what we have.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Yeah anytime I had a chance, anytime I had a chance.
I would hope that if we threw aFrisbee or something like that,
that it would get up there so Icould like climb up there and
get the item I mean there were.
I'm going to be honest now, Iprobably shouldn't say this.
There'd be a few times a while.
On purpose put the Frisbee upthere just so I could climb up.
(50:37):
Purpose put the frisbee put thefrisbee up there just so I
could climb up, particularlywhen, uh, um, the cute girl a
grade older than me she livedacross the street.
I mean she was out walking thedog or out in front or something
like that.
I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna showher how cool I am, I'm gonna
climb on my roof you know, Iknow, yeah, that the roof was a
big deal.
I don't see people on roofs atall.
(50:59):
No, Not anymore.
Nope.
Are they having Kev?
Is this like overprotectiveparents?
Or they just have everythingthey need right there on that
screen?
They don't give a fuck aboutanything else.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Could be a little of both.
Yeah, I mean the the screentime is really a factor.
Yeah, screen time is really afactor or is it me?
Speaker 1 (51:23):
you know, maybe because health care is just so
ridiculous now, like it is justso insanely expensive, whereas
you know back then, you know,you, you go, you break your arm.
You set the, it'd be like 19bucks.
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah, not anymore.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
Now you break the arm , set the yeah, that's $487 a
month for the next 12 months.
Right, you know that could beit too right.
Yeah, things have definitelygotten more expensive, for sure.
Okay, kev, let's talk about howlong are we into this thing?
(51:59):
I have no clue whatsoever.
About 50 minutes.
All right, we got to do somestuff here real quick.
Okay, let's talk about ourrabbit holes.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Rabbit hole of the week.
Speaker 1 (52:13):
What did you find yourself getting into that you
struggled to get out of In termsof rabbit holes this past week?
Kevin.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
Silly dog videos.
You know like little dogs thatget excited that it's walk time.
Or I love videos of huskiestalking and you know talking
back about their food and stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (52:34):
Wait a minute.
Okay.
Is it them just like barkingback, or have they overdubbed
voices?
Speaker 2 (52:39):
No, no, no, it's just I'm going yeah, yeah, like
they're howling and stuff.
Oh man, huskies have such greatattitudes.
Speaker 1 (52:48):
Okay, so is it?
Is there specifically a Huskychannel or something?
Speaker 2 (52:52):
Uh, there are numerous uh people who have
Huskies, that film them and havetheir own YouTube channels.
Yes, yeah, I think the one iscalled Zeus the Husky.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Zeus.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Come on, get out of the bathtub.
Come on, come on.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
Do you want to go for a walk?
Speaker 2 (53:26):
I like huskies.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
Oh, they're beautiful man that because there's a
couple huskies in theneighborhood they got,
particularly when they havethose blue eyes.
Yeah, those are beautiful dogs.
Yep, it just looks like to me,um, that they're really, really
hot, and every time I pass them,you know they're looking at me
like I should be living inalaska or something like that.
(53:48):
Why am I here in houston?
Speaker 2 (53:49):
yeah, they don't say they're a cold weather dog for
sure.
We have, uh, the trail that Irun behind our house, there's a
lady who walks a Husky I don'tknow if it's hers or if she's
just the dog walker, and I'llsee her in the summer and I'll
be like, oh, she doesn't like it.
Huh, I saw her the other day.
It was like 30 degrees and thatdog just was like wagging its
tail, like loving life.
Speaker 1 (54:10):
Yeah, yeah, because that's where they're supposed to
be.
Yeah, I just don't think thatthat aren't they Siberian
Huskies that, yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Siberian Huskies.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Isn't Siberia like one of the coldest places on the
planet?
Speaker 2 (54:24):
Well, yes, that in Antarctica.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
Yeah, why is?
Why do people have them inHouston?
Speaker 2 (54:29):
I don't know.
I mean Siberia is Russia too.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
I mean, why are we importing them?
I know, are we sure we cantrust them?
Speaker 2 (54:36):
Right yeah, I know, are we sure we can trust him?
Right, yeah, had a husky oncethat was hacking my computer.
Speaker 1 (54:43):
You know, you walk in from a day's work or running
errands or something like that,and you notice your Siberian
husky Net.
Net, here he is.
Here he is.
I will talk to you later.
Net, here, he is.
Here he is.
Net, I will talk to you later.
(55:06):
Net, net, hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
Oh, he's serving up a nice bowl full of borscht for
you.
Speaker 1 (55:19):
Bell, did you get the vodka this time?
Stoli, I like Stoli.
That just to me.
That to me is the voice ofSiberian Husky would have if
they talked Stoli.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
What was the, the uh?
What was the Russian couple inthe cartoon?
Speaker 1 (55:41):
Yeah, I know who you're talking about Boris, and
Boris and Natasha.
Speaker 2 (55:45):
Yeah, Natasha, that's it.
Yeah, it sounds like Boris.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
And here we are.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
Yes, I am stationed in the sea turtle house how
funny.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
Oh no, everything's cool man, Everything's Green Bay
Packers, Green Bay Packers.
Speaker 2 (56:10):
Wouldn't they be partial to the Cincinnati Reds?
I see what you did there, Gav.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
It's a communist joke .
Yes, it is.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
I love what you did there, thank you.
Thank you, it's a communistjoke yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
I love what you did there.
Um, hey, cav, I got caught in arabbit hole and I'm just going
to tell you about it, and I wantyou to promise me that you will
never, ever get caught in arabbit hole of people who get
stuck in tight tunnels whenthey're caving.
(56:43):
No, no, and specificallyanybody that is listening or
watching this, do not, under anycircumstances, look up the
Nutty Putty incident in Utah.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
Don't look it up.
Well, now you know we're goingto Don't don't, don't.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
That was one of the most frightening accounts of
claustrophobia that I have evereven heard of in my life.
Speaker 2 (57:15):
The Nutty Putty.
Speaker 1 (57:16):
Yeah, I'm going to give you the broad strokes.
So you don't, please again,please don't look this up.
Don't look up n-u-t-t-y,p-u-t-t-y incident give us the
broad strokes go ahead.
Well, it's, it's, it's a mormonguy and his and his brother it's
in Mormon guy and his brotherit's in Utah and their thing is
(57:40):
they like to go in these tunnelsand these really thin tunnels
and explore them Like shit thatthey can barely fit.
And they've had no problemsdoing it for years.
They go in and whatever, untilthat one day one of the brothers
went a little too far down atunnel that had not been okayed
(58:01):
and cleared and he made a wrongturn down and he got stuck.
Yeah, is like doing a headstandin a tight tunnel and it's
(58:25):
getting tighter because his bodyweight is pushing him further
in the tunnel.
His brother and numerous uh um,rescue people could not even
pull him out because he gottight, so he just had to sit
there for 48 hours and dieslowly, oh my.
Speaker 2 (58:44):
God.
Speaker 1 (58:45):
They could not do a thing for him, Kev.
They tried everything to gethim out of there.
The more they tried, the morestuck he got.
Yeah yeah, sure.
And can you imagine the conceptof I can't move it?
I can't, I can barely breathe,and it's getting worse by the
minute for 48 hours.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
Yeah, not a place I want to be holy shit, kev.
Speaker 1 (59:10):
Can you imagine, you know, and they're, they're, uh,
they're, uh you putting a phonedown there near him where he
could talk to his wife and saygoodbye, and all that shit?
Wow, yeah, because theycouldn't do anything about it.
Speaker 2 (59:25):
If you're going to do stuff like that, don't you
think that I mean a contingencyplan would be to at least take a
gun with bullets in it, in casesomething like that happens,
where you don't have to die anagonizing and excruciating death
?
Speaker 1 (59:37):
I kev.
I actually thought about thatis like, because it seemed like
after about 36 hours ofintensive work of trying to get
the guy out of there, I mean,why did he have to suffer the
other 12?
yeah you know, I, I would havebeen like to my brother, I I've
been like you know what you needto do.
You know what you need to do,but they can't do that.
(01:00:02):
And then, not only that, kev,he was so stuck that they could
not get his body out and theyjust closed off that cave and
he's stuck in there forever.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Well, that was one thing that I was thinking about
was going back to our previousconversation.
At least you don't have toworry about a funeral.
Oh my God, it's great.
Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Kevin with the recall moment there you go, there you
go yeah can you imagine he'slike talking to the rescue guys
going come on, man, you gotsomething here, don't you?
And you know hours later?
Okay, I tell you what guys.
(01:00:56):
Why don't you?
And you know hours later.
Okay, I tell you what guys.
Why don't I just go fuck myself?
Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
that's called.
That's called double recall.
You just have you just had ayes.
Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Yes, that's called double recall.
You just had a Tuttle Inclinepatented double recall moment.
Tell future generations whatyou heard here today.
All right, kev, I got to wrapit up.
I have not gotten a setup.
Today, I got to make some money.
Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Of course you do know that a rescuer with any assault
would have said looks like youalready did.
Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Hey, I don't want to rub any salt into any wounds
there.
Your own dick has been up yourown ass for the last 30 hours,
buddy, for the last 30 hours,buddy, god.
Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
And then he's going literally All right, I got to go
Kev, yeah, later.
That's it for this episode ofthe Tuttle Cline Show.
See you this Wednesday for anall-new episode and thanks for
listening to the Tuttle ClineShow.
Yo, all right, take the yo out.
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