268 The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking

The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking

In this candid conversation, Patricia Young (she/her) and B Lourenco (she/her) dive deep into the realities of living with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. They explore the push-pull between self-accommodation and stretching ourselves, how shame and internalized ableism impact daily life, and what it means to create realistic support systems at home, in relationships, and in the workplace. Expect raw honesty, relatable stories, and practical insights for navigating neurodivergent life.

WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE

· The ongoing "driver's seat battle" between ADHD and autism.

· The push-pull between making accommodations and stretching ourselves beyond comfort.

· Parenting a neurodivergent young adult while balancing when to push and when to allow rest.

· Task initiation struggles — from making banana bread to cooking meals.

· Body doubling as a powerful tool to reduce shame and spark motivation.

· The "crisper/rotter" effect — guilt over wasted food and executive dysfunction.

· Financial and practical impacts of task initiation challenges.

· How privilege plays into having options like prepared or frozen meals when cooking feels impossible.

· The cost of pushing through fatigue and flares with conditions like POTS and MCAS.

· "Future me" thinking — and the difficulties neurodivergent folks have with impermanence.

· Shame as the "ice cream scoop" on top of disability struggles.

· Why diagnosis matters: language helps reduce shame and prevent repeating harmful patterns.

· How powerlessness, and an attempt to gain autonomy can show up in small, reactive choices (like leaving a Facebook group).

· Sensory sensitivities in family systems — how lack of accommodations can lead to dysfunction.

· Practical accommodations for noise-sensitive parents and their kids.

· Workplace challenges: 40-hour weeks, return-to-office pressures, and capitalism's rigidity.

· Creative problem-solving in disabled and neurodivergent communities.

· The deep fear of being uncared for and alone if we can't keep up.

· Hyper-independence and isolation in the ADHD/autistic community.

· Internalized ableism and the "shoulds" that drive shame and burnout.

· Neurodivergence as a dynamic disability — what's possible one day isn't always possible the next.

· Radical acceptance as a path toward reducing judgment and finding relief.

SOUND BITES

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