August 11, 2025 • 22 mins
Ever notice how your gut instinct picks up on energy shifts before your conscious mind does? That invisible force guiding you is more powerful than most of us realize.
In this raw, unfiltered conversation, we dive into the quantum physics of energy and how it shapes our reality. I share why I've found that my most authentic content emerges when I trust my intuition rather than over-planning—a principle that extends far beyond podcasting into every area of life.
We explore the fascinating intersection between energy, manifestation, and self-trust, examining how the gap between where you are and where you want to be can only be bridged when your actions align with your desires.
The conversation takes a personal turn as I reflect on past relationships and the crucial role trust plays in building any solid foundation. Whether in romantic partnerships, friendships, or professional connections, the absence of trust creates an unstable environment that eventually crumbles.
What makes this episode particularly valuable is the practical guidance on embodying the energy of your future self.
The most powerful takeaway? Your intuition never lies.
Subscribe now and join our community of resilient, self-trusting individuals who are committed to living authentically and powerfully.
Connect with Me
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianasmindandmoves
Website: unbreakablemindandbody.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Download your Free 5-Min Pre-Workout Guide:
https://tiana-gonzalez.mykajabi.com/likeyoumeanit
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, tiana, and thisepisode is going to be a little
unhinged and unplanned.
I will tell you from my ownpersonal experience, not only
(00:52):
with this podcast, but with alot of personal passion projects
that I work on.
When I spend too much timecurating, crafting, getting the
notes together, making itperfect, making it look pretty,
it jams me up.
I end up stuttering on my words, thinking about what's ahead
(01:15):
instead of staying present inthe moment, and the finished
product typically is never asgood as when I trust my gut and
I go with my flow.
Now I want to talk about energyon this episode, and if you are
someone who's into things likequantum physics, the law of
(01:40):
attraction, the law ofassumption, manifesting, then
you'll probably like thisepisode.
If that is not your thing andyou don't want to hear that shit
, I respect that this may not bethe episode for you, so you get
to choose what you want tolisten to.
And similar to what many peoplein the spiritual community
(02:02):
whether it be online or inperson, whether it be in a yoga
class or on a retreat, orwhether it be in a one-on-one
conversation what is alwaysimportant is that you take what
resonates and you leave whatdoes not.
So if you've ever foundyourself doom scrolling on
(02:23):
certain apps such as TikTok,youtube and sometimes Instagram
depending on the algorithm thatyou have curated for yourself
through the things that you haveinteracted with and if you've
ever seen someone delivering apsychic message or a message
from spirit guides or somethingfrom an archangel or the
(02:47):
archangels multiple plural theytypically will say this is a
message for the collective.
Take what resonates and leavewhat doesn't.
And it's not always going to bea perfect message for you, but
you could take pieces of it thatseem to be in alignment and
(03:09):
then proceed with your day.
Now, the interesting thingabout that type of information
or entertainment is people willsay, okay, but if you're only
taking what resonates andleaving behind what doesn't,
then you're kind of cherrypicking, and that may be true,
(03:29):
but here's the thing.
You know in your heart, in yourgut, what you want to do with
your life.
You have an internalthermometer, you have your
intuition and it is yourguidepost and it leads you in
the direction of the things thatlight you up, and it will
(03:49):
shrink and close and make youfeel cold, make you clamp down
when you are interacting withsomeone that you don't get a
good vibe from or when you feellike a situation is not safe.
We've all been in situationswhere we're talking to someone
and you can see that the energybehind the person's eyes or
their brows, or even their lips,is giving you different
(04:16):
feedback than the words thatthey are saying, or they're
listening to you and, as you'retelling your story, you can see
the energy shift.
It could go from joy, happiness, cheer, smiles, jubilance to
concern, judgment and a lot ofnegativity, or it could be vice
(04:44):
versa a lot of negativity, or itcould be vice versa.
But what this really boils downto is trust, and in order for
(05:08):
you to develop a strong sense ofself and know who you are as a
being, as a person, as an entityand as a spirit because we all
have spirit within us then yougot to go through some shit, you
have to get confirmation.
One of the most importantteachings that I learned, I want
to say, about 10 years ago, inmy own personal journey with the
higher power, with myrelationships with energy,
(05:31):
quantum physics and God.
And again, I know this episodemay not be for everyone, I get
that but I'm sharing some of myexperiences with you, but I'm
sharing some of my experienceswith you Throughout my own
journey about 10 years ago.
I will say I learned thatnegative experiences, or having
(05:54):
an experience and saying I'mnever going to do that again,
that's actually phenomenal, thatis a good thing, that is a gift
and that is a blessing.
Because even if you have prayedfor something else, even if you
have something different onyour vision board, or even if
(06:14):
you are dating someone andthey're good things are good but
they're not great or you'resettling and then something
takes a turn and it doesn't workout.
It's almost but not quite.
And in that situation and incircumstance and maybe some
(06:37):
events, you can decipher whatwere the things that didn't work
for you and what are the thingsthat are a confirmation that,
nope, that's not what I want.
I didn't mean that.
I guess I need to be more clearabout what I'm asking for and
then you get more clarity.
(06:58):
It's like writing a novel witha pencil and at some point
you're going to have to take abreak and sharpen the pencil
again because the lead willbecome soft and it will
eventually run out and you willget down to the point where, in
order to get more of the lead inthe middle of the pencil, you
(07:22):
have to sharpen it.
Now I realize, as I'm talking,that some of my listeners here
may not be all that familiarwith old school number two
pencils or maybe you did at acertain point when you were in
early childhood, but maybe notrecently.
It's not a thing.
(07:43):
So let's talk about quantumphysics a little bit more so you
have a better understanding ofwhat the fuck I'm talking about
and what do I mean when I sayquantum physics.
We are all made up of energyand energy cannot be created or
destroyed.
It just changes its form fromone thing to another, similar to
(08:06):
how you can take water and putit in a tray and put it in your
freezer and you can create icecubes.
Then you can take the cubes outand you can put them in a drink
and they will melt and createwater.
So that's how energy works.
And when you're doing the workto visualize possibilities for
(08:29):
yourself and think about thethings that you want for
yourself, you have to putyourself in a state of being
that is on the same frequency asthe things that you want.
What do I mean by that?
Okay, I'll give you an example.
If I am telling the universe orjournaling in my notebook and
(08:52):
saying I want to be amultimillionaire, I want to live
in a luxury house, I want tohave three homes and work for
myself, and I want to have aMaserati and a Porsche and my
private jet and a helicopter andI want to live a life of luxury
, all of this sounds great,right, and as I'm doing the
(09:15):
visualizations of putting myselfin that scenario and seeing
myself living out thatvisualization, I also need to
feel what it would feel like.
So it's not just aboutdaydreaming, it's about actually
implanting myself in mythoughts, in that future version
(09:39):
of me.
Okay, but we have to take itone step further.
So if I'm going from, let's say, I'm making $100,000 a year in
my salary and then I want to bea multimillionaire, it probably
would be in my best interest todo this manifestation practice
(10:05):
in steps so I can have that bigdream and that big goal.
But if I finish myvisualization session and I
close my notebook and then I goto work and I start cutting
coupons or looking for discountsor being extremely frugal, I
(10:28):
told the universe earlier in theday I wanted to be a
multimillionaire, but now thebehavior and the energy that I'm
embodying is of someone whodoes not live like a
multimillionaire.
So you see how there's this biggap there, and you might have
heard people talk about quantumleaping and what they're talking
(10:50):
about is closing that gap.
Okay, how do you do that, thatgap?
Okay, how do you do that?
You have to start acting as ifyou are already that next
version of yourself.
So if you're a business owner,you start making decisions as if
you're making whatever.
(11:12):
That step is between the$100,000 and, let's say, you
make $10 million a year.
For some people listening tothis, I know that this sounds
completely insane, and forothers, you're going to get it
and you understand what I mean.
But for those of you who aresaying to yourself, like what
the fuck is she talking about?
I'm trying to simplify this ina way, because manifestation is
(11:37):
a very real thing.
The law of attraction is a veryreal thing.
The law of assumption is alsoreal, and what these things mean
is, whether you believe in itor not, it's how the universe
works.
So you could say to yourself oh, I wanted that.
Say to yourself, oh, I wantedthat.
(11:58):
Let me give you a more realworld example.
I wanted that red Louis Vuittonduffel bag.
I don't even know if that's athing, I'm just making it up
right.
And then someone buys it foryou as a gift for your birthday.
Do you say to yourself it's acoincidence, how did they know I
(12:19):
wanted that bag?
Or do you trust that somewherealong the way, the universe
heard your thoughts and said, oh, as you wish, and they
delivered it?
But the root of true power inmanifestation, in creating
(12:44):
outcomes first in your mind andvisualizing them and then
turning them into reality andbringing them into your 3D world
, is to trust yourself.
And trust is a big fucking deal, because if you don't trust
yourself, you're going tooperate giving off mixed signals
(13:09):
, just like the person who saysthey want to be a millionaire
and then they clip coupons andgo to four different grocery
stores on Saturday to get thebest deals.
That's not in alignment withsomebody who is a millionaire,
(13:30):
and there's definitely a gapthere in the energy in which
you're dwelling and in theactions that you're taking in
that example.
So how do you bridge that gap?
Well, there's a lot of ways todo that, but the first part is
you have to believe that you'reworthy of the things that you
want in your life.
And the second part is, as Isaid already several times, you
(13:53):
have to trust yourself.
You have to know that, whetherit happens or not, whether it
takes a year, whether it takes10 years or 50 years, you have
your back.
You trust yourself.
Things will always work out andmaybe sometimes the things that
we think we want are not reallyin our best interest.
(14:16):
Want are not really in our bestinterest.
I was in a bunch of verypassionate and romantic
relationships in my late teens,like from the end of college all
the way through my 20s and assoon as I hit 30, no, I'm sorry,
(14:37):
I was almost 31.
But as soon as I was 30, goingon 31, I ended a very painful
situation and I've done a lot ofwork since then on my own.
Now some people say that youknow you only have a few like
true loves in your life.
And if that's the case, youonly have a few like true loves
(14:58):
in your life.
And if that's the case, thenI'm definitely done, because I
had a boyfriend at the NI school.
I had a boyfriend in college.
I met a great guy the summerbefore my senior year of college
.
We dated for two and a halfthree years and then after him
was like the abusive guy.
Then I dated somebody who hadsubstance problems and then the
(15:23):
guy that I dated.
That ended up until 2009 and andand ultimately, when I look
back on those relationships,there wasn't a lot of trust.
And it wasn't necessarily thatI didn't trust the other person,
but just in the foundation ofthe relationship there was not a
(15:44):
trust built.
There was not a strongfoundation there on which we
could build a relationshiptogether.
And probably just due to ageand life and circumstances, you
know, I don't think we aredesigned to fall in love and get
married in our early twenties,like many of our parents did.
(16:06):
My mom and dad actually gotmarried even younger than that.
My mom was 16 when she gotmarried to my dad and he was
either 18 or 19.
And then I was a plannedpregnancy, my mom was 18.
My dad was going on 21 when Iwas born.
(16:29):
So, yeah, times have changed.
Culturally, economically,everything is different now, and
so when I think about trust andI think about trusting myself
and I think about trusting otherpeople, it's interesting to
look back on the past and kindof see how you have evolved over
(16:49):
time.
You have evolved over time.
It's the root of everything.
When you trust yourself, whenyou have a knowing of who you
are, when you know what yournon-negotiables are, when you
know what your values are andwhat you won't tolerate in your
life and what you want in yourlife, it's not all about
(17:10):
negative.
Trust is also about good thingsyou want to call in, the things
that make you happy and addvalue to your life as it is
right now.
And it's not just in romanticrelationships we're also talking
about with friendships, withfamily and even with clients.
(17:34):
I know for me if I meet aprospective client and they want
to work with me, but there arethings that are said that make
me feel like, hmm, this person'sgoing to struggle because they
don't trust themselves.
To struggle because they don'ttrust themselves, it might be a
(17:57):
no for me.
I am not the trainer that'sgoing to say yes to everyone
that wants to work with me.
I've never been that person.
And have I made exceptions?
Yes, and every time I did itwound up backfiring on me.
It wound up being like yes,stupid, you knew this wasn't a
good idea and you went aheadanyway because I really wanted
to help the person.
But guess what?
That person didn't want to helpthemselves, and you can't help
(18:19):
anybody if they don't want tohelp themselves.
So I know this episode went allover the map.
We talked about energy, wetalked about manifestation, we
talked about the law ofattraction, we talked about
embodying who you want to be.
And how do you operate that way?
At first it feels like a game.
It feels kind of like imaginaryor pretend, or monopoly, but
(18:46):
it's little things here andthere that you can do to get
yourself to the next level, thenext version of yourself.
And then we talked about trust,and we talked about self-trust
and trusting others.
And really, if you takeanything away from this episode,
(19:10):
what I want you to leave withis that you must trust your
intuition.
It will never steer you wrong.
We get fucked up in this becausewe want to see the good in
people.
We want to give people thebenefit of the doubt.
We don't want to hurt anybodyelse's feelings.
(19:30):
We want to please people.
Sometimes I'm a reformed peoplepleaser and I am not ashamed to
admit it.
It took a lot of work for me tolearn how to instill healthy
boundaries and how to say no,thank you and stick to my guns.
It is a practice and I'm testedon a daily basis, but I've
(19:56):
gotten a lot better at it andI'm healthier mentally for it.
So if you want to work onimproving your quality of life,
the easiest place to start iswithin yourself.
Keep your promises to yourself.
Do the things you say you'regoing to do.
Make yourself a priority.
(20:17):
Fill your cup daily, getmovement, get exercise, sweat,
lift weights, do whatever bringsyou joy.
Because the thing is, when youfill your cup first, then it has
the opportunity to overflow andyou have more to give to
(20:37):
everyone else.
But if you wait until the endof the day to do what makes you
happy or to do the things thatyou need to do and that could be
as simple as eating a healthymeal or going to bed early If
you're not doing what you needto do to feel great, then you're
(20:58):
always going to feel likeyou're dragging, like you're
running on empty, like you'repulling yourself through mud.
You know you don't want to livelike that anymore.
So these are the simple thingsyou can do to start tweaking and
making improvements little bylittle.
It feels difficult in thebeginning, but it gets a whole
(21:20):
lot easier the more you do it.
It's just like a muscle.
It's just like creativity,which I talked about on the last
episode.
So I'm going to leave this here.
I know this episode is unhinged,it's all over the map and Maybe
it's not your jam, but if youstuck it out and you rolled with
(21:40):
me through this episode, Itruly appreciate you.
I appreciate your time andattention.
Every week, every monday, Idrop a new episode here, even on
the weeks when I don't feellike it, even on the weeks when
I'm tired, and even on the weekswhen I don't feel like it, even
on the weeks when I'm tired andeven on the weeks when I've got
no ideas about what the fuck Iwant to talk about, and this
episode is a perfect example ofone.
But these are things that aretruly important to me.
(22:02):
They weigh on my heart, they'rein my brain, and when people
ask me, how do you feel so goodall the time?
It's because I'm radical abouttaking care of myself and
keeping myself healthy so that Ican live as long as possible in
the best state possible.
Appreciate you.
(22:24):
If you want to drop me a note,you can check the show notes and
see how to do that.
I'll catch you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
podcast.
I am your host, tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate, creative
storyteller and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, tiana, and thisepisode is going to be a little
unhinged and unplanned.
I will tell you from my ownpersonal experience, not only
(00:52):
with this podcast, but with alot of personal passion projects
that I work on.
When I spend too much timecurating, crafting, getting the
notes together, making itperfect, making it look pretty,
it jams me up.
I end up stuttering on my words, thinking about what's ahead
(01:15):
instead of staying present inthe moment, and the finished
product typically is never asgood as when I trust my gut and
I go with my flow.
Now I want to talk about energyon this episode, and if you are
someone who's into things likequantum physics, the law of
(01:40):
attraction, the law ofassumption, manifesting, then
you'll probably like thisepisode.
If that is not your thing andyou don't want to hear that shit
, I respect that this may not bethe episode for you, so you get
to choose what you want tolisten to.
And similar to what many peoplein the spiritual community
(02:02):
whether it be online or inperson, whether it be in a yoga
class or on a retreat, orwhether it be in a one-on-one
conversation what is alwaysimportant is that you take what
resonates and you leave whatdoes not.
So if you've ever foundyourself doom scrolling on
(02:23):
certain apps such as TikTok,youtube and sometimes Instagram
depending on the algorithm thatyou have curated for yourself
through the things that you haveinteracted with and if you've
ever seen someone delivering apsychic message or a message
from spirit guides or somethingfrom an archangel or the
(02:47):
archangels multiple plural theytypically will say this is a
message for the collective.
Take what resonates and leavewhat doesn't.
And it's not always going to bea perfect message for you, but
you could take pieces of it thatseem to be in alignment and
(03:09):
then proceed with your day.
Now, the interesting thingabout that type of information
or entertainment is people willsay, okay, but if you're only
taking what resonates andleaving behind what doesn't,
then you're kind of cherrypicking, and that may be true,
(03:29):
but here's the thing.
You know in your heart, in yourgut, what you want to do with
your life.
You have an internalthermometer, you have your
intuition and it is yourguidepost and it leads you in
the direction of the things thatlight you up, and it will
(03:49):
shrink and close and make youfeel cold, make you clamp down
when you are interacting withsomeone that you don't get a
good vibe from or when you feellike a situation is not safe.
We've all been in situationswhere we're talking to someone
and you can see that the energybehind the person's eyes or
their brows, or even their lips,is giving you different
(04:16):
feedback than the words thatthey are saying, or they're
listening to you and, as you'retelling your story, you can see
the energy shift.
It could go from joy, happiness, cheer, smiles, jubilance to
concern, judgment and a lot ofnegativity, or it could be vice
(04:44):
versa a lot of negativity, or itcould be vice versa.
But what this really boils downto is trust, and in order for
(05:08):
you to develop a strong sense ofself and know who you are as a
being, as a person, as an entityand as a spirit because we all
have spirit within us then yougot to go through some shit, you
have to get confirmation.
One of the most importantteachings that I learned, I want
to say, about 10 years ago, inmy own personal journey with the
higher power, with myrelationships with energy,
(05:31):
quantum physics and God.
And again, I know this episodemay not be for everyone, I get
that but I'm sharing some of myexperiences with you, but I'm
sharing some of my experienceswith you Throughout my own
journey about 10 years ago.
I will say I learned thatnegative experiences, or having
(05:54):
an experience and saying I'mnever going to do that again,
that's actually phenomenal, thatis a good thing, that is a gift
and that is a blessing.
Because even if you have prayedfor something else, even if you
have something different onyour vision board, or even if
(06:14):
you are dating someone andthey're good things are good but
they're not great or you'resettling and then something
takes a turn and it doesn't workout.
It's almost but not quite.
And in that situation and incircumstance and maybe some
(06:37):
events, you can decipher whatwere the things that didn't work
for you and what are the thingsthat are a confirmation that,
nope, that's not what I want.
I didn't mean that.
I guess I need to be more clearabout what I'm asking for and
then you get more clarity.
(06:58):
It's like writing a novel witha pencil and at some point
you're going to have to take abreak and sharpen the pencil
again because the lead willbecome soft and it will
eventually run out and you willget down to the point where, in
order to get more of the lead inthe middle of the pencil, you
(07:22):
have to sharpen it.
Now I realize, as I'm talking,that some of my listeners here
may not be all that familiarwith old school number two
pencils or maybe you did at acertain point when you were in
early childhood, but maybe notrecently.
It's not a thing.
(07:43):
So let's talk about quantumphysics a little bit more so you
have a better understanding ofwhat the fuck I'm talking about
and what do I mean when I sayquantum physics.
We are all made up of energyand energy cannot be created or
destroyed.
It just changes its form fromone thing to another, similar to
(08:06):
how you can take water and putit in a tray and put it in your
freezer and you can create icecubes.
Then you can take the cubes outand you can put them in a drink
and they will melt and createwater.
So that's how energy works.
And when you're doing the workto visualize possibilities for
(08:29):
yourself and think about thethings that you want for
yourself, you have to putyourself in a state of being
that is on the same frequency asthe things that you want.
What do I mean by that?
Okay, I'll give you an example.
If I am telling the universe orjournaling in my notebook and
(08:52):
saying I want to be amultimillionaire, I want to live
in a luxury house, I want tohave three homes and work for
myself, and I want to have aMaserati and a Porsche and my
private jet and a helicopter andI want to live a life of luxury
, all of this sounds great,right, and as I'm doing the
(09:15):
visualizations of putting myselfin that scenario and seeing
myself living out thatvisualization, I also need to
feel what it would feel like.
So it's not just aboutdaydreaming, it's about actually
implanting myself in mythoughts, in that future version
(09:39):
of me.
Okay, but we have to take itone step further.
So if I'm going from, let's say, I'm making $100,000 a year in
my salary and then I want to bea multimillionaire, it probably
would be in my best interest todo this manifestation practice
(10:05):
in steps so I can have that bigdream and that big goal.
But if I finish myvisualization session and I
close my notebook and then I goto work and I start cutting
coupons or looking for discountsor being extremely frugal, I
(10:28):
told the universe earlier in theday I wanted to be a
multimillionaire, but now thebehavior and the energy that I'm
embodying is of someone whodoes not live like a
multimillionaire.
So you see how there's this biggap there, and you might have
heard people talk about quantumleaping and what they're talking
(10:50):
about is closing that gap.
Okay, how do you do that, thatgap?
Okay, how do you do that?
You have to start acting as ifyou are already that next
version of yourself.
So if you're a business owner,you start making decisions as if
you're making whatever.
(11:12):
That step is between the$100,000 and, let's say, you
make $10 million a year.
For some people listening tothis, I know that this sounds
completely insane, and forothers, you're going to get it
and you understand what I mean.
But for those of you who aresaying to yourself, like what
the fuck is she talking about?
I'm trying to simplify this ina way, because manifestation is
(11:37):
a very real thing.
The law of attraction is a veryreal thing.
The law of assumption is alsoreal, and what these things mean
is, whether you believe in itor not, it's how the universe
works.
So you could say to yourself oh, I wanted that.
Say to yourself, oh, I wantedthat.
(11:58):
Let me give you a more realworld example.
I wanted that red Louis Vuittonduffel bag.
I don't even know if that's athing, I'm just making it up
right.
And then someone buys it foryou as a gift for your birthday.
Do you say to yourself it's acoincidence, how did they know I
(12:19):
wanted that bag?
Or do you trust that somewherealong the way, the universe
heard your thoughts and said, oh, as you wish, and they
delivered it?
But the root of true power inmanifestation, in creating
(12:44):
outcomes first in your mind andvisualizing them and then
turning them into reality andbringing them into your 3D world
, is to trust yourself.
And trust is a big fucking deal, because if you don't trust
yourself, you're going tooperate giving off mixed signals
(13:09):
, just like the person who saysthey want to be a millionaire
and then they clip coupons andgo to four different grocery
stores on Saturday to get thebest deals.
That's not in alignment withsomebody who is a millionaire,
(13:30):
and there's definitely a gapthere in the energy in which
you're dwelling and in theactions that you're taking in
that example.
So how do you bridge that gap?
Well, there's a lot of ways todo that, but the first part is
you have to believe that you'reworthy of the things that you
want in your life.
And the second part is, as Isaid already several times, you
(13:53):
have to trust yourself.
You have to know that, whetherit happens or not, whether it
takes a year, whether it takes10 years or 50 years, you have
your back.
You trust yourself.
Things will always work out andmaybe sometimes the things that
we think we want are not reallyin our best interest.
(14:16):
Want are not really in our bestinterest.
I was in a bunch of verypassionate and romantic
relationships in my late teens,like from the end of college all
the way through my 20s and assoon as I hit 30, no, I'm sorry,
(14:37):
I was almost 31.
But as soon as I was 30, goingon 31, I ended a very painful
situation and I've done a lot ofwork since then on my own.
Now some people say that youknow you only have a few like
true loves in your life.
And if that's the case, youonly have a few like true loves
(14:58):
in your life.
And if that's the case, thenI'm definitely done, because I
had a boyfriend at the NI school.
I had a boyfriend in college.
I met a great guy the summerbefore my senior year of college
.
We dated for two and a halfthree years and then after him
was like the abusive guy.
Then I dated somebody who hadsubstance problems and then the
(15:23):
guy that I dated.
That ended up until 2009 and andand ultimately, when I look
back on those relationships,there wasn't a lot of trust.
And it wasn't necessarily thatI didn't trust the other person,
but just in the foundation ofthe relationship there was not a
(15:44):
trust built.
There was not a strongfoundation there on which we
could build a relationshiptogether.
And probably just due to ageand life and circumstances, you
know, I don't think we aredesigned to fall in love and get
married in our early twenties,like many of our parents did.
(16:06):
My mom and dad actually gotmarried even younger than that.
My mom was 16 when she gotmarried to my dad and he was
either 18 or 19.
And then I was a plannedpregnancy, my mom was 18.
My dad was going on 21 when Iwas born.
(16:29):
So, yeah, times have changed.
Culturally, economically,everything is different now, and
so when I think about trust andI think about trusting myself
and I think about trusting otherpeople, it's interesting to
look back on the past and kindof see how you have evolved over
(16:49):
time.
You have evolved over time.
It's the root of everything.
When you trust yourself, whenyou have a knowing of who you
are, when you know what yournon-negotiables are, when you
know what your values are andwhat you won't tolerate in your
life and what you want in yourlife, it's not all about
(17:10):
negative.
Trust is also about good thingsyou want to call in, the things
that make you happy and addvalue to your life as it is
right now.
And it's not just in romanticrelationships we're also talking
about with friendships, withfamily and even with clients.
(17:34):
I know for me if I meet aprospective client and they want
to work with me, but there arethings that are said that make
me feel like, hmm, this person'sgoing to struggle because they
don't trust themselves.
To struggle because they don'ttrust themselves, it might be a
(17:57):
no for me.
I am not the trainer that'sgoing to say yes to everyone
that wants to work with me.
I've never been that person.
And have I made exceptions?
Yes, and every time I did itwound up backfiring on me.
It wound up being like yes,stupid, you knew this wasn't a
good idea and you went aheadanyway because I really wanted
to help the person.
But guess what?
That person didn't want to helpthemselves, and you can't help
(18:19):
anybody if they don't want tohelp themselves.
So I know this episode went allover the map.
We talked about energy, wetalked about manifestation, we
talked about the law ofattraction, we talked about
embodying who you want to be.
And how do you operate that way?
At first it feels like a game.
It feels kind of like imaginaryor pretend, or monopoly, but
(18:46):
it's little things here andthere that you can do to get
yourself to the next level, thenext version of yourself.
And then we talked about trust,and we talked about self-trust
and trusting others.
And really, if you takeanything away from this episode,
(19:10):
what I want you to leave withis that you must trust your
intuition.
It will never steer you wrong.
We get fucked up in this becausewe want to see the good in
people.
We want to give people thebenefit of the doubt.
We don't want to hurt anybodyelse's feelings.
(19:30):
We want to please people.
Sometimes I'm a reformed peoplepleaser and I am not ashamed to
admit it.
It took a lot of work for me tolearn how to instill healthy
boundaries and how to say no,thank you and stick to my guns.
It is a practice and I'm testedon a daily basis, but I've
(19:56):
gotten a lot better at it andI'm healthier mentally for it.
So if you want to work onimproving your quality of life,
the easiest place to start iswithin yourself.
Keep your promises to yourself.
Do the things you say you'regoing to do.
Make yourself a priority.
(20:17):
Fill your cup daily, getmovement, get exercise, sweat,
lift weights, do whatever bringsyou joy.
Because the thing is, when youfill your cup first, then it has
the opportunity to overflow andyou have more to give to
(20:37):
everyone else.
But if you wait until the endof the day to do what makes you
happy or to do the things thatyou need to do and that could be
as simple as eating a healthymeal or going to bed early If
you're not doing what you needto do to feel great, then you're
(20:58):
always going to feel likeyou're dragging, like you're
running on empty, like you'repulling yourself through mud.
You know you don't want to livelike that anymore.
So these are the simple thingsyou can do to start tweaking and
making improvements little bylittle.
It feels difficult in thebeginning, but it gets a whole
(21:20):
lot easier the more you do it.
It's just like a muscle.
It's just like creativity,which I talked about on the last
episode.
So I'm going to leave this here.
I know this episode is unhinged,it's all over the map and Maybe
it's not your jam, but if youstuck it out and you rolled with
(21:40):
me through this episode, Itruly appreciate you.
I appreciate your time andattention.
Every week, every monday, Idrop a new episode here, even on
the weeks when I don't feellike it, even on the weeks when
I'm tired, and even on the weekswhen I don't feel like it, even
on the weeks when I'm tired andeven on the weeks when I've got
no ideas about what the fuck Iwant to talk about, and this
episode is a perfect example ofone.
But these are things that aretruly important to me.
(22:02):
They weigh on my heart, they'rein my brain, and when people
ask me, how do you feel so goodall the time?
It's because I'm radical abouttaking care of myself and
keeping myself healthy so that Ican live as long as possible in
the best state possible.
Appreciate you.
(22:24):
If you want to drop me a note,you can check the show notes and
see how to do that.
I'll catch you on the next one.
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